The Gift of Presence: A Guide to Helping Those Who Suffer

by Joe E. Pennel Jr.

"Near the end of Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms , there is a word that has continued to stay with me. He said, 'The world breaks everyone. Then some become strong at the broken places.' As a pastor, I have seen people become strong at the broken places, and I have seen people become broken up at the broken places of life. I hope that the reader will learn how to assist those who are suffering, and will, at the same time, learn something of great value for living in these days." - Author Joe Pennel

Unfortunately, suffering is a part of living. None of us have escaped this fact. Even so, it's difficult to know how to console someone going through a broken place.

In The Gift of Presence, Bishop Joe Pennel offers practical help to give confidence and skill to clergy and laity serving the broken hearted. With a central message on the importance of simply being there, Pennel combines practical "how-to's" with prayers, readings, and services. This small, casebound book outlines real ways to help through planning visits, writing notes, finding scriptures and prayers to read, avoiding cliches, and thinking through the theology of God, humans, and suffering.

The Gift of Presence includes pertinent topics such the ministry of presence, quietness, sincerity, and the art of helping.

"I found Bishop Pennel's book to be concisely written, compassionately expressed, extremely helpful tool for anyone in relationship with someone suffering. Because all of us will be in such a relationship at some time in our life,  [The Gift of Presence] would be a great read in preparation for life's difficult events." - Rev. Lori Lampert, Lead Associate Pastor, Schweitzer UMC, Springfield, Missouri

" [The Gift of Presence] is both practical and contemplative encouraging the reader to remember why we are in ministry but also to pay attention to how we engage in ministry. I would definitely recommend this to any Stephen Minister program. We also have a Lay Counseling program where it would be very helpful. Frankly it would have been a wonderful book to receive before I started making hospital visits as a new pastor. Bishop Pennel has given us his gift of presence in the writing of this book. I appreciated his willingness to share his own stories of ministry and life as well as the knowledge he has gathered from several years of practical experience." - Rev. Barbara Miner, Assoc. Pastor, Floris UMC, Herndon, Virginia

"I appreciated the sample letters and prayers found in The Gift of Presence . The chapters on 'Seven Simple Do's and Don'ts' and 'Common Responses to Suffering' will be helpful to Stephen Ministers."  - Rev. Rick Plain, Minister of Pastoral Care, Los Altos UMC, Los Altos, California

141 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Logan Robertson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent little pocket book. Full of examples for pastors and pastoral care teams, dos and donts when responding to suffering, practical advice for many situations, ideas for note writing. The scripture index is particularly helpful. Great take-along for trips to the hospital. Worth every penny.

[Theresa Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard it once said that the best gift you can give someone is the gift of presence! How true this is. Priceless gift ever! Joe E. Pennel, Jr. understands this gift. In his book, “The Gift of Presence” Pennel highlights the discipline of quietness; knowing when to be silent; and simply allow your presence to serve as a gift to individual suffering or experiencing grief. The impact is more than you could ever imagine. He also provides seven simple do’s and don’ts around grief; sample notes of encouragement to send or text; and a variety of sample prayers. He also mentions the sensitivity around ministry of scripture and/or prayer. While both can be very comforting and healing, it is important to ask permission first and not assume. I highly recommend.

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a basic introductory overview of pastoral care--great for pastors and laity alike. What is wonderful about this book is that the author speaks candidly of his own experiences giving pastoral care in many of the ministry situations he highlights.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was clear and thoughtful with useful examples of what to say in difficult situations. I can see this as being a book I will reference throughout my life.