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156 pages, Paperback
First published December 31, 2006
Oh, this Central European solitude! This perpetual orphanhood for which there is no cure, because medicine doesn't work retroactively and cannot bring back what has died. A perpetual, unrelenting solitude and abandonment. Post-Great Moravian solitude, post-Jagiellonian solitude, post-Austro-Hungarian solitude, post-Yugoslavian solitude, post-communist solitude. The loop of history running through the button of the present. What kind of story can be patched together in a language whose grammar has no future tense? What comes out is always some kind of elegy, some kind of legend, a sort of circular narrative that has to return to the past because not only the future but also the present fills it with trepidation. Here the past is never at fault, it's always in absolution. Old Kuznetsov may well have been right when he spoke of innocence. Guilt is borne only by those who believe that their deeds will in some way continue to exist in the future. Memory and the image of fate as an inevitability protect us from the cold touch of solitude. When all's said and done, it's only that which has passed truly exists, and at least partially corroborates our uncertain Central European existence.
That's Romania: gilded plafonds and moldings and a broken toilet Romania is a land of marvels. I've been there maybe a dozen times and I still haven't had enough. Romania is a fairy tale. Past, present and future coexist there, and decay walks arm and arm with growth. The new is very much on the way, but the old survives equally well.
Though in fact, to live in the Carpathians is to remember that citizenship or nationality were always of little importance here. At times, in my extravagant cosmopolitan dreams, I see the main ridge of the mountains. I leave my home and head east, then south, and I don't encounter any borders. On the way there are only flocks of sheep, shelters, sheepdogs--and in the winter even those things aren't there. Across the ridge, along the deep valleys, there are several rail lines and several roads linking different countries. Both the roads and the tracks look like a prank, like extraterritorial corridors leading to the other side of the mountains. The noisy, restless flow of modernity passes through them, but the mountains themselves remain undisturbed.
That's right, best of all is night in a foreign country on the highway, because at those times foreignness extends across the entire earth and sweeps everyone up indiscriminately in its flow. Somewhere on the horizon are the fires of human settlements, indistinguishable from the distant glimmer of the stars. Oh, the flickering artery of nothingness, oh, the recollection of the ancient times when were homeless in the world, when space was terrifying in its immensity. Now it irks us with its elusivenss.