Lenten Lands: My Childhood with Joy Davidman and C.S. Lewis

by Douglas Gresham

Including the True Story of the Remarkable Love Affair between Joy Davidman and C. S. Lewis

There has probably never been a less likely couple: she, an American divorcee and the mother of two young boys; he, an Oxford don and confirmed bachelor who inhabited an eccentric household with his brother, a retired Royal Army major. Yet the relationship of C. S. Lewis and Joy Davidman, portrayed in this moving autobiography by her son Douglas Gresham, was destined to become of the most deeply moving love stories of our time.

Genres: Biography, Memoir, Nonfiction, Christian, Biography Memoir, History, Religion

225 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1988

About the author

Douglas Howard Gresham (born November 10, 1945)[1] is an American British stage and voice-over actor, biographer, film producer, and executive record producer. He is one of the two stepsons of C. S. Lewis.

Gresham has written an autobiography, Lenten Lands, of his life to the age of 28 in 1973. A fictionalized young Douglas Gresham is a character in the 1993 film Shadowlands, in part derived from Lenten Lands. In the film, Gresham is played by the American actor Joseph Mazzello.

Gresham was the son of writers William Lindsay Gresham and Joy Davidman. After his parents' divorce in 1954, he relocated to England with his mother and elder brother. Joy later married author C.S. Lewis, whom adopted Joy's two sons.

Reviews

[Cindy Rollins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable memories from afar by Douglas Gresham, CS Lewis’s stepson.

[Dean · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book about Lewis and Davidman, narrated with much love...
Gresham is Davidmans son, he meets as a child C. S. Lewis and his brother Warnie at the Kilns.
The book narrates his experiences during this time....
Later on, Davidman married Lewis, and soon after that became seriously ill and died.
So, yes, I recommend this book to all who love Lewis and his literary work!!!
I particularly loved the way how Gresham managed in his book to dismantle the legend who was C. S. Lewis presenting us "the man" behind it!!!!
A wonderful Lovestory, and a richly-- with insider details-- depicted narration about the life of one of the greatest Christian writer ever....
This edition contains pictures with Davidman and Lewis, one of them has become my favorite one!!!
It shows Lewis at the Kilns reading a book in Warnies study 1961!!!
Dean;)

[Kelsey Bryant · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although someone might enter the pages of this book expecting to learn a lot about C. S. Lewis, it's not really meant for that. This is subtitled "My childhood with Joy Davidman and C.S. Lewis," and its focus is Douglas Gresham, Lewis's younger stepson. As such, it's an interesting though somewhat peripheral piece of the C. S. Lewis biographical canon. But it does include important insights into Lewis's family life. I enjoyed learning about Lewis's and Douglas's relationship, as well as the relationships among the entire family that lived at the Kilns: Jack (C. S. Lewis), Joy, Warnie (Jack's older brother), David (though not much was said about him), Douglas, and the servants, especially Fred Paxford, the gardener.
Speaking of the Kilns: in the 1980s, when my edition of this book was published, Douglas Gresham ended by mourning the fact that things had gone to seed there...but since I visited the Kilns this year, I was happy to fill in for myself a happier epilogue for this cozy old house. It, its gardens, and the nearby pond/lake are all kept up, though it's surrounded by a neighborhood (I'm sure the people who live there probably think that's pretty neat!).
Gresham himself lived an interesting life, especially after he was orphaned at age eighteen when Lewis died, but I have to admit I enjoyed reading about his childhood years with his mother and stepfather the most.

[Chrystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book hoping to gain personal insights into CS Lewis's home life. Written by Douglas Gresham, the younger of Lewis's two step-sons, it delivers what readers like myself are seeking. It is a fascinating read; unfortunately, I found it to be very, very sad and in the final analysis, a very depressing book. I don't know if it is because the Lewis brothers's last years of life were truly sad and depressing, or if this is due to how the author himself experienced those years. Douglas Gresham was a very lonely boy who experienced the death of his mother to cancer, his father to suicide, and then his stepfather, all within a few years of one another, and all before he himself was 18 years old. Then again, Jack's grief and illness after his wife's death, Warnie's loneliness and alcoholism after Jack's death, are very sobering realities that would have made their final years very difficult to bear. The final years of Warnie's life were especially cruel and hard to read about.

One thing that kept popping into my mind continually throughout the book is, why is Douglas's older brother David conspicuously missing from this memoir?

This is one of those books that are extremely interesting, but that also leave many questions unanswered. Why did none of Jack's friends go to Joy's funeral? Who inherited The Kilns? What is going on between the Gresham brothers? I also found Douglas's portrayal of Walter Hooper just a tiny bit uncharitable. Mr Hooper only knew Lewis for one summer but spent a lifetime working to preserve and curate his work. More unanswered questions.
*****************************************************************************
Interesting and sad insight comes from a letter from JRR Tolkien to his daughter Priscilla regarding CS Lewis' funeral: Tolkien reveals that no one from Lewis' family attended the funeral except for his step-son Douglas (his brother Warnie did not attend, neither did Douglas' brother David).

From another letter to his son Michael, JRR reveals that he heard about Jack's marriage long after it took place; so either Jack didn't tell his friends, or just didn't tell JRR (JRR also reveals that he and Jack had been separated for the last 10 years of Jack's life, so it's not clear if this is the reason why JRR was not told about his marriage).

[Jeannette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Douglas Gresham, son of Joy, stepson to Jack, is a charming writer who gives the reader a real picture of life with his mother and later life with CS Lewis and his household at The Kilns. Because he was quite young when his mother and Jack died, this is not an in depth view but rather a series of glances from a schoolboy’s perspective. Still I enjoyed it.

[John Stanifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book I've owned for years that recently shot to the top of my TBR list when I found out Mr. Gresham is going to be a keynote speaker at a conference in North Carolina in November (one I'm planning to attend).

I knew the outline of the Joy & Jack love story from other books and from the parts of Shadowlands that happen to be historically accurate. But it's a whole different experience to get, not only a deeply personal perspective on that whole period from one of Joy's sons, but to find out what happened in the years that followed.

Douglas's own love story is just as colorful, in many ways, as Jack's was. I couldn't help smiling at the fact that Douglas met his wife Merrie in what he specifically calls "Lorna Doone" country (i.e. Exmoor, England). Lorna Doone by R.D. Blackmore is one of my favorite novels; I've read it some 5-6 times and actually wrote my M.A. thesis on it. So knowing that someone I've admired from a distance for years is also a fan of that work (or at least aware of it) endeared me to the events that were being described, in a way I hadn't expected.

The ending of Lenten Lands was also much more bittersweet than I expected, but that's in keeping with the overall sense of inevitable tragedy and suffering that colors the text from the very beginning (it starts off with a funeral . . . and more or less ends with one too).

Regardless, this is an absolute must-read for anyone interested in C.S. Lewis, especially if you're interested in getting to know not just Lewis himself but those who were closest to him (Douglas treats readers to firsthand anecdotes that no one else could have had).

Douglas has a writing style that is both erudite and down-to-earth, which fits what you might expect (or at least hope for) with someone who knew C.S. Lewis.

Very highly recommended!

[Justin Wiggins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book by my friend Douglas Gresham was a profoundly moving literary experience. It makes me appreciate Jack Lewis more.

[Piepie | The Napping Bibliophile · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book for the most part. The parts about Jack and Joy (and Warnie, Fred, etc.) were a pleasure to read. To me the conclusion of the book - where Douglas talks about his careers, marriage, children, etc. - was a little dry. As a whole though, I would still recommend this one. It's a hidden gem.

[Christina Sinisi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am giving this book a 5 because of the impact it has on the reader--and I am reminded that there is nothing perfect or even very good here on this fallen Earth.

For much of this book, I was pained by the lack of the older brother. I searched for him at his mother's funeral. I searched for him in the playing in the woods, in the holidays, in the special times with the family. And he wasn't there.

I hurt for him to the point that I put the book down and searched the internet for David Gresham--only to find that he was a paranoid schizophrenic who died presumably alone in a secure Swiss mental institution. Oh, that hurt my heart.

I do love how we are given glimpses into the human C.S. Lewis, my hero put in context. We are all sinners and, even with Christ in our lives, still frail and flawed. I am encouraged by Douglas' journey and his happy-ever-after with his wife. I only wish Warnie didn't have to die like that, or any of us for that matter.

I look for comfort in C.S. Lewis' own words in the Grief Observed--and in Christ--and in a better place where I hope to meet them all.

[Jennifer Malech · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this read. Gresham paints The Kilns with such vivid imagery that is truly breathtaking. I felt as though I, myself, had emerged into the English countryside, to see Gresham's story unfold. While I have read a lot about Jack and Joy, each from their point of view, this was a refreshing take on their story. In reading from Gresham's point of view, we gain honest insight into how children deal with faith, grief, and the changes that come with growing up.

[W.R. Gingell]

seems weird to rate books that are autobiograpical; it feels like i'm rating a person

regardless, read this one with quiet sorrow and will go on to a couple of others to get a closer look at Joy first, and Jack second.

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fascinating and well-written account of Douglas Gresham's early life. I read "Becoming Mrs. Lewis" before reading this. It's like the other side of the coin.

[Anne White · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worth reading through once, but probably not one I'll go back to.

[Danielle Ma · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Men must endure their going hence, but I wish they had not gone."
Beautiful. Glowing. Full of raw and untethered emotion, my heart soared and ached with Gresham's.

[Joellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now THIS is a memoir. I loved reading all of Gresham’s memories of his childhood with his mother and CS Lewis. And life after their passing. This story is brimming with emotions- love, regret, redemption. The way he shared his story was so vivid and raw, I couldn’t put the book down.

[Barbara Harper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Douglas Gresham was the son of Joy Davidman Gresham, who married C. S. Lewis when Douglas was eleven years old. In 1973, ten years after Lewis’s death, Gresham wrote Lenten Lands: My Childhood with Joy Davidman and C. S. Lewis, partly because he was asked to, partly to correct some misconceptions concerning C. S. Lewis. Yet Lenten Lands is his own biography, not Lewis’s.

Joy married fellow writer William Gresham in 1942. They had two sons, David and Douglas. But their marriage was troubled. They had been atheists, but searched other religions. Joy was drawn to the writings of C. S. Lewis as he told of his own journey from atheism to Christianity. She began writing to Lewis and eventually visited him in England.

When she returned home, she found that her husband was having an affair with the cousin she had left to keep house for her husband and sons while she was away. She tried to reconcile the marriage, but it was too late. Joy took her two sons and moved to England.

Joy and Lewis and Lewis’s brother, Warnie (Warren) enjoyed a strong, intellectual friendship. Joy and Lewis influenced each other’s writing. When Joy’s visa was not renewed in 1956, Lewis married her in a civil ceremony.

But before long, the couple grew to love each other as more than friends and sought a Christian marriage, difficult since the church of England did not condone Joy’s divorce. But they found someone who would perform the ceremony.

Joy developed bone cancer but went into remission. The cancer came back a few years later, and Joy died in 1960. C. S. Lewis wrote A Grief Observed under a pseudonym. He had not been well himself, and died three years after Joy.

Douglas experienced all these things as a child: he was just eighteen when Lewis passed. He kept in touch with Warnie for some years, but Warnie’s grief and alcoholism were too much for Douglas to bear. He later regretted that he was not more attuned to Warnie’s grief and more of a help to him.

Douglas then tells of his various jobs, marriage, and children.

In his afterword, written in 2003, thirty years after the original publication of the book, he tells how he “committed [his] life to Christ and His service.” He had “always believed in God and in Jesus Christ; my problem was not one of belief, but one of arrogance and pride. I did not want to submit my life to any authority other than my own and it took me a long time to realize that I am simply not qualified to run it myself.” At that time he “was working more and more for the C. S. Lewis Literary Estate.” His Wikipedia page says he “hosted Focus on the Family Radio Theatre’s adaptations of his stepfather’s most famous works, and he was named co-producer for the series of theatrical films adaptations of The Chronicles of Narnia” and is now a “stage and voice-over actor, biographer, film producer, and executive record producer.”

Not much is said of his brother, David, in the book. Douglas’s Wikipedia page says David returned to Judaism and was later diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic.

My heart went out to Douglas, having experienced so much loss at heartache at such a young age. His young adult years were somewhat tumultuous. A good talking to by the woman who would become his wife helped set him on the right course.

One of my favorite moments in the book was when Douglas actually met Jack. He had regarded him as “a cross between Sir Galahad and Merlin the Wise (p. 27), “on speaking terms with King Peter, with the Great Lion, Aslan himself” (p. 55). But Jack was “a slightly stooped, round-shouldered, balding gentleman whose full smiling mouth revealed long, prominent teeth, yellowed like those of some large rodent, by tobacco staining” (p. 55). “Well, so much for imagery,” Douglas concluded. But he also noticed “His florid and rather large face was lit as if from within with the warmth of his interest and his welcome. I never knew a man whose face was more expressive of the vitality of his person” (p. 55).

Another favorite part was when Douglas said “When I was home from school, the dinner table of The Kilns was the scene of my real education. Jack and Warnie were both brilliant at sustaining a conversation at any one of a dozen different levels and on almost any topic, and I learnt more sitting and conversing over meals than I ever learnt at school (p. 81). I imagine so!

I appreciated what was said about the interaction between Joy and a friend named Jean: “Though they did not always agree upon matters of religion, politics, or taste, they could argue for hours and finally simply agree to disagree, without the dissent having the slightest adverse effect on their friendship” (p. 92).

I became interested in this book after reading a fictional account of the relationship between Joy and Lewis, Becoming Mrs. Lewis by Patti Callahan (linked to my review). Since much of what the author wrote (like letters between the two) was made up, I wanted to read the account from one who was actually there at the time. It’s taken me a few years to get to it, but I am glad I finally did.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written memoir which gives a fascinating glimpse into the relationship between Gresham's mother and C.S. Lewis. I picked this up after reading Joy: Poet, Seeker, and the Woman Who Captivated C. S. Lewis because I was curious about what happened to Joy's sons after the deaths of their mother and step-father. Douglas doesn't mention his brother much--I believe they are or have been estranged--but he does give a perspective on his mother very different from that presented in the the warts-and-all-but-thoroughly-researched-so-probably-true Santamaria biography. I found this touching: Gresham was a son who truly loved and valued his mother, casting her and her second marriage in a positive light. Lewis's friends may not have liked Joy but Lewis certainly did and Gresham captures their relationship beautifully and believably.

I also wondered about the 10 years "Warnie" Lewis lived after the death of his brother. A quick glance at the index directed me to Gresham's somewhat distant view of Warnie's last years and spared me from reading the entire last quarter of the book which deals with the author's adult life, partly spent on farms in Australia. It might be worthwhile reading, just for more exposure to Gresham's beautiful writing, but I confess that I skipped it.

A beautiful memoir well worth the read.

[guada · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐3/5⭐

UFFFFFFFF NO SÉ MUY BIEN QUE PENSAR POR QUE LO TERMINÉ AYER Y LO TENGO SUPER FRESCO. No sé que tan amplia puede ser mi opinión en una autobiografía. Voy a empezar con lo más curioso de esta experiencia lectora: de las obras de Lewis solamente leí El León, la Bruja y el Ropero, y me pareció super neutral así que no le puse mas interés al autor. Lenten Lands lo compré hace un mes en un local de segunda mano y literalmente lo elegí al azar, ni siquiera le pegué una leída a la contratapa.
En cuanto al libro en sí, me gusta mucho como está escrito y la forma en la que el autor relata los hechos, arrepintiendose de alguna de sus acciones.
Intentando ignorar que es una historia real, al comienzo el libro es un toque aburrido, pero no es un problema por que es algo inmodificable y necesario para la descripción de los acontecimientos.
Después de haber podido acceder a ese retrato de C.S Lewis me dan ganas de pegarle una leida a alguna de sus obras :D no le tengo mucha fé a Narnia pero puedo intentar con otra cosa.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir about the brief family life of Joy and C. S. Lewis, a period in their lives that is either brushed past or dismissed in most biographies of the great writer. As I had hoped, Douglas told many lovely anecdotes about life with Mr. Lewis. But what really won me over was his effortlessly polished style and his "watercolor emotions" - that is, his conveyed his feelings with great nuance, anger and grief and despair bleeding into one another in a complex way that I, as a woman, particularly appreciated.

[Kayla Kiphart · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m surprised I didn’t like this as much as I would have thought.

Still a very honest look at the life of Joy Davidman and C.S. Lewis.

[Michelle]

Interesting to read about Douglas’ point of view!

[Owlseyes]

https://europeanconservative.com/arti...

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a real heart breaker.

An autobiographical book from the perspective of Lewis’s youngest step son.

He had far too much loss in his childhood and teen years and is far too hard on himself for not being able to better cope as a teen with the very adult problems around him.

However, there are such important insights into his mother and Lewis in this book. It made it well worth the read, as sad as it often was.

Also, how Lewis loved Joy. And how he supported his stepson as well! A wonderful man.

[Kelli · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was written so elegantly. Mostly nostalgic thoughts C S Lewis’ step son observed growing up with him. In a way, it feels like a family member talking to you about a cousin. The most surprising thing was seeing CS Lewis as Jack, seeing him in a different light as a man, husband, stepfather - a counter to his powerful writings - him inside a mundane home.
I will say it took some time to trudge thru Gresham’s own stories to get to Jack. I had to flip thru some longer winded pages that didn’t matter to the story as a whole.
Around chapter six, is when the memories of Jack take off. And the memories feel so nostalgic, even just reading them as a person who didn’t experience the stories.
I do feel, however, that there is nothing like reading Jack’s words. His books. His wisdom. This book doesn’t have that. Just simple memories from a step son that loves him.

[Christastrophe · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this. I really really did. It sparked a number of interesting discussions when Spring was reading it. And I really liked the early going. CS Lewis sounded like a fascinating, beautiful man.

I wish that politics and leanings didn't come into play in these sorts of things, and I don't want them to, but they totally do. I just couldn't get past the utter contempt the author held for the working class, always describing various railway workers and gardeners and whoever else as lazy and shiftless. Which, OK, fine - but the author was living the good life with his entire future set up for him because his mother seduced and married a rich author. Not to undermine their love for each other; but the author was pretty short on achievement while all these other people, the people he'd shoot off of "his" land, were actually putting in an honest day's work while he was sitting pretty on Narnia money. And whenever he was kicked out of some fancy school. CS Lewis would swoop to the rescue and set him up in another one. If there was a touch of humility about this situation, I didn't detect it in the author's words or tone.

That, and I was dismayed when CS Lewis and the author's mother died about halfway through and the focus shifted to the author's life, which isn't all that interesting. He makes it a point early on to emphasize that this isn't a tell-all about CS Lewis; it's an autobiography that features CS Lewis prominently but is really more about the author and his journey. And, well--hey where can I get my hands on a tell all about CS Lewis?? That would be GREAT.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

(maybe 3.5 stars?) When Joy Davidman married C. S. Lewis, she made him stepfather to her two sons, David and Douglas. In this book, the latter attempts to tell the story of the marriage from his point of view. The writing style is a bit awkward, but still is readable. And the author seems to be quite honest as he tells his own story.
Some of the reviewers have objected to certain attitudes reflected in the book, however if you are at all aware of the place and the time, those views of the "lower classes" were very prevalent. And Gresham often makes it clear that he is giving us the point of view of his earlier, adolescent self, and that many of his views changed considerably as he matured. And as for the objections to his writing about Warnie Lewis' losing battle with alcoholism, Lewis' biographers have covered that ground pretty thoroughly, so I'm sure Gresham felt he was free to use those incidents, which did have some relevance to his own story. And as to the comment that Davidman "seduced" Lewis, it's simply ridiculous.
There was one rather strange aspect to the book, though: the ghostlike presence of older brother David. He appears very seldom in the narrative, though the boys were close in age, sharing the disintegration of their former lives. One would have thought they would be close. It almost seemed as though David had asked to be left out of the book.
I'll admit I lost interest toward the end, as Gresham told the story of his courtship, marriage and life in Australia, but I did enjoy this new perspective on a marriage that has fascinates me.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked parts of this book. I enjoyed seeing the story of the the Lewis' love story fleshed out a bit. However, overall the tone was one of bitterness and the pacing was somewhat odd. It works as a personal, rambling memoir, but doesn't have a true story or overarching message or theme to it. It also is highly skewed to the author's own perspective. This makes sense as a memoir, but one would expect some kind of disclaimer to the effect of, "This is just how I experienced this," which is missing. It's told as if his experience was the only way to see or know these people and events. It very oddly says almost nothing about his brother who presumably was present in many of the circumstances and events portrayed. It discusses the motivations and actions of several people involved without showing any attempt at even-handedness or benefit-of-the-doubt. It was a strange read, but an interesting piece of the Lewis story nevertheless.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

For C. S. Lewis fans: Gresham clearly states this book is primarily about Douglas Gresham, not C.S. Lewis. Naturally he comes into the story and figures prominently in the middle parts, but much of this book is about Gresham's life before he met Lewis and after Lewis's death. As a fan of C.S. Lewis, the parts I found most compelling were the parts with Lewis in them. Gresham doesn't sugarcoat the difficulties of his early childhood or his mother's illness, Warnie Lewis's alcoholism, and Gresham's wandering years in his young adulthood. The result is sometimes interesting, occasionally profound, but, as the title would suggest, not a very enjoyable or uplifting read. I think I would like to read more about the second half of Gresham's life, as he became more involved with radio theater of movie productions of Narnia and working in ministry.

[Ruth · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first three fourths of the book I found very interesting, since the information contained therein is indeed Gresham's childhood memories of his time observing his mother, Jack Lewis, Warnie, and life at the Kilns. The last one fourth, however, after the adults have passed away and Gresham relates his own life experiences somewhat disassociated from his time as a youth in proximity to Oxford, I found slightly less interesting.

Still, a solid read for the type of people who carry a fascination for the private lives behind the books that we love.

[Marianne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did finish the entire book............I thought it really wasn't that much about CS Lewis.....more about a young idealistic , all about me young man. And the writing left much to be desired. Alot of the same repeated in many of the chapters.