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My Father's House
William Ian Carr was a man of many lives. A violent alcoholic who beat his first wife and rejected his four children, he was also a inspirational teacher, a passionate socialist and self-imposed English exile in the turbulent world of post-colonial Caribbean politics. In 1967, after the break=up of his marriage in Guyana, Carr sent his family home and stayed on until his death twenty-five years later. Remembered fondly by his second family and widely respected in Guyana as the noble idealist, the former domestic bully seemed to have put his past behind him. But what explained his mysterious transformation? Four years after his father's death, Matthew Carr returned to Guyana to find out the truth about the enigmatic figure whose explosive violence had overshadowed his childhood. This compelling book documents his journey. (copied off the back cover)
- GenresBiography
342 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
July 22, 2014
This book left a great impression on me and I wanted to try and discuss it with my partner to try and make sense of how it made me feel.
The author Matthew Carr remains haunted by his childhood largely spent in post colonial west indies and finally in Georgetown in Guyana in the 1960's. He is haunted because during this period he and his family were terrorised by an abusive, violet alcoholic father, William ('Bill') Carr, an English literature lecturer. Having separated from him in 1967 to return to England (with his mother and 3 siblings) he only sees his father once more before his death in 1992.
I came to this book having read The Wild Coast by John Gimlette, a superb travel book about Guyana and its colonial history. The Gimlette book paints a portrait of an extreme location where europeans have come to grief over many centuries in search of gold, operating slave plantations and extricating themselves from modern volatile regimes. More significantly, africans and asians have suffered incredibly at the hands of colonial powers and opportunists. This book covers the modern political situation in British Guyana which coincides with the period when Bill Carr remained and up to his death so I was intrigued to follow Matthews journey back to Guyana to try and make sense of his early life and understand his fathers motivations.
The opening section of the book provides a nightmarish account of the family's time in Jamaica where the violent behavior begins often fueled by rum binges and following a need to leave as a result of Bill's opposition to political groups escalates for the 9 months they are all together in Guyana. Matthew at 10 is the eldest of the children, but most of the violence is directed at his mother. Matthew, however, leaves us in no doubt through recounting a number of incidents that his father has few if any emotional attachments to his children even when sober.
The core of the book is Matthew's return to Guyana where he interviews a range of people who new his father at the time the events happened and in the subsequent 25 years when he remained. I think he wants to try and make sense of why it happened, what drove his father to such violence and destruction and how he changed after the family left. I think ultimately, he is looking for any evidence of remorse and as the reader this is what we also want him to find - that this man who did terrible things to him and and his family regretted what he had done.
SPOILERS FOLLOW!!!
Well, my frustration with the book is that I don't think Matthew gets what he wants - 'I'm sorry'. On his journey through his father's history he receives largely positive reports of a larger than life showman who appears to have successfully reinvented himself as a man of the people. He mixes in Guyanese politics, openly criticising the ruling PNC party, garnering admiration from local opposition groups. In retrospect, the politics of the time appeared violent so this at face value appears to be courageous and at odds with the cowardly wife beater. Matthew gets to interview a prominent member of the ruling party to see how his dad was able to take pot shots and not end of dead. It appears that they admired his courage but did not regard him as a threat so tolerated him. This also supports a wider sense that the Guyanans were generally tolerant of personal failings and so his increasing alcoholism and erratic behaviour was not judged in the way that we might.
During much of this time, Bill had remarried and had inherited step children. Matthew speaks to his wife and children and again finds warmth and love for the husband and father they knew. This must have been incredibly painful to hear - the father that beat up his mother, abandoned him and his siblings and virtually wipes them from his memory picks with a new family and becomes a loved husband and father.
Matthew provides some history to his father which provides some clues to his behaviour. He spent much of his childhood in a range of public schools with abusive teachers and is neglected by his mother. His father is off the scene but remains a mystical figure of loss for him. The implication is that he hates his mother and releases this hatred in violence towards his wife who possibly reminds him of this hatred. We learn from elements of Bill's writing and verbal reports also that Bill carries the weight of colonial guilt with him. He seems to swirl this up with a romanticised re-invention of his earlier life in england as a working class hero and develops a new persona as a revolutionary man of the Guyana people. Matthew ponders whether this persona was developing whilst he and his family were with him and the violence was a rejection of their whiteness and a desire to relocate himself in black society - something which he appears to achieve.
In truth, there is limited evidence for Matthew to work with. He has access to some letters and perhaps the most telling is exchanges between his father and mother over maintenance payments. Over the period of several years, it is clear (as presented by Matthew) that his father feels no moral, emotional or legal obligation to support his former family in any way. However, there are periods when he is seeking a divorce and needs the cooperation of his estranged wife and he promises to fulfill his obligations and writes with a sense of affection and regret. My readings of these exchanges are that the father lacked a moral core, was aware of his behaviour but had no interest in the consequences - he was cold and calculating.
In the final analysis, I think his father appears to have been a fantasist, unable to live out his fantasies in his own country and resentful of the emotional encumbrances which connected him with that country once he had left it. Matthew's final letter to him provides some catharsis - this is what we the readers would have liked to have said to this man. Whilst Matthew indicates that he had wished that he had no sent the letter I felt it provided some resolution given that there were no signs that Bill Carr was capable and, more tragically, felt the need to say sorry.
The author Matthew Carr remains haunted by his childhood largely spent in post colonial west indies and finally in Georgetown in Guyana in the 1960's. He is haunted because during this period he and his family were terrorised by an abusive, violet alcoholic father, William ('Bill') Carr, an English literature lecturer. Having separated from him in 1967 to return to England (with his mother and 3 siblings) he only sees his father once more before his death in 1992.
I came to this book having read The Wild Coast by John Gimlette, a superb travel book about Guyana and its colonial history. The Gimlette book paints a portrait of an extreme location where europeans have come to grief over many centuries in search of gold, operating slave plantations and extricating themselves from modern volatile regimes. More significantly, africans and asians have suffered incredibly at the hands of colonial powers and opportunists. This book covers the modern political situation in British Guyana which coincides with the period when Bill Carr remained and up to his death so I was intrigued to follow Matthews journey back to Guyana to try and make sense of his early life and understand his fathers motivations.
The opening section of the book provides a nightmarish account of the family's time in Jamaica where the violent behavior begins often fueled by rum binges and following a need to leave as a result of Bill's opposition to political groups escalates for the 9 months they are all together in Guyana. Matthew at 10 is the eldest of the children, but most of the violence is directed at his mother. Matthew, however, leaves us in no doubt through recounting a number of incidents that his father has few if any emotional attachments to his children even when sober.
The core of the book is Matthew's return to Guyana where he interviews a range of people who new his father at the time the events happened and in the subsequent 25 years when he remained. I think he wants to try and make sense of why it happened, what drove his father to such violence and destruction and how he changed after the family left. I think ultimately, he is looking for any evidence of remorse and as the reader this is what we also want him to find - that this man who did terrible things to him and and his family regretted what he had done.
SPOILERS FOLLOW!!!
Well, my frustration with the book is that I don't think Matthew gets what he wants - 'I'm sorry'. On his journey through his father's history he receives largely positive reports of a larger than life showman who appears to have successfully reinvented himself as a man of the people. He mixes in Guyanese politics, openly criticising the ruling PNC party, garnering admiration from local opposition groups. In retrospect, the politics of the time appeared violent so this at face value appears to be courageous and at odds with the cowardly wife beater. Matthew gets to interview a prominent member of the ruling party to see how his dad was able to take pot shots and not end of dead. It appears that they admired his courage but did not regard him as a threat so tolerated him. This also supports a wider sense that the Guyanans were generally tolerant of personal failings and so his increasing alcoholism and erratic behaviour was not judged in the way that we might.
During much of this time, Bill had remarried and had inherited step children. Matthew speaks to his wife and children and again finds warmth and love for the husband and father they knew. This must have been incredibly painful to hear - the father that beat up his mother, abandoned him and his siblings and virtually wipes them from his memory picks with a new family and becomes a loved husband and father.
Matthew provides some history to his father which provides some clues to his behaviour. He spent much of his childhood in a range of public schools with abusive teachers and is neglected by his mother. His father is off the scene but remains a mystical figure of loss for him. The implication is that he hates his mother and releases this hatred in violence towards his wife who possibly reminds him of this hatred. We learn from elements of Bill's writing and verbal reports also that Bill carries the weight of colonial guilt with him. He seems to swirl this up with a romanticised re-invention of his earlier life in england as a working class hero and develops a new persona as a revolutionary man of the Guyana people. Matthew ponders whether this persona was developing whilst he and his family were with him and the violence was a rejection of their whiteness and a desire to relocate himself in black society - something which he appears to achieve.
In truth, there is limited evidence for Matthew to work with. He has access to some letters and perhaps the most telling is exchanges between his father and mother over maintenance payments. Over the period of several years, it is clear (as presented by Matthew) that his father feels no moral, emotional or legal obligation to support his former family in any way. However, there are periods when he is seeking a divorce and needs the cooperation of his estranged wife and he promises to fulfill his obligations and writes with a sense of affection and regret. My readings of these exchanges are that the father lacked a moral core, was aware of his behaviour but had no interest in the consequences - he was cold and calculating.
In the final analysis, I think his father appears to have been a fantasist, unable to live out his fantasies in his own country and resentful of the emotional encumbrances which connected him with that country once he had left it. Matthew's final letter to him provides some catharsis - this is what we the readers would have liked to have said to this man. Whilst Matthew indicates that he had wished that he had no sent the letter I felt it provided some resolution given that there were no signs that Bill Carr was capable and, more tragically, felt the need to say sorry.
April 8, 2014
My Father's House had a really good base. The narrative got me. It was a little dry in reading and I couldn't get the picture of someone reading it to me out of my head. Was it good? YES I liked the history of Guyana. The family story was troubling. Another book where alcohol defines a family, wrecks it and wont let it go. I really found Bill's life fascinating. The letters in the beginning of the book were very telling. I thought if you sort of read between the lines there is a lot of double meanings.
The fact that the trips to Guyana were very descriptive shows the author has a gift with descriptions. There is a lot to the child character remembering things that he chose to remember. Sometimes we tend to glorify people in memories.
The book was good especially if you enjoy more of a narrative/biography then it is for you.
The fact that the trips to Guyana were very descriptive shows the author has a gift with descriptions. There is a lot to the child character remembering things that he chose to remember. Sometimes we tend to glorify people in memories.
The book was good especially if you enjoy more of a narrative/biography then it is for you.
April 11, 2014
My Father's House had a really good base. The narrative got me. It was a little dry in reading and I couldn't get the picture of someone reading it to me out of my head. Was it good? YES I liked the history of Guyana. The family story was troubling. Another book where alcohol defines a family, wrecks it and wont let it go. I really found Bill's life fascinating. The letters in the beginning of the book were very telling. I thought if you sort of read between the lines there is a lot of double meanings.
The fact that the trips to Guyana were very descriptive shows the author has a gift with descriptions. There is a lot to the child character remembering things that he chose to remember. Sometimes we tend to glorify people in memories.
The book was good especially if you enjoy more of a narrative/biography then it is for you.
The fact that the trips to Guyana were very descriptive shows the author has a gift with descriptions. There is a lot to the child character remembering things that he chose to remember. Sometimes we tend to glorify people in memories.
The book was good especially if you enjoy more of a narrative/biography then it is for you.
April 7, 2014
This book has all the elements of a good read: tragic family tale, beautiful prose and a fascinating wider story of political upheaval. Shocking and humbling that it is true.
April 18, 2014
The Setting
I love reading about new places. So when I read that this was set in Guyana, I was ready to pick it up. Being a Spanish teacher, I have studied and read quite a bit about South America. However, Guyana was never included in that. This book is helping to fill in that knowledge gap. Carr does a good job of giving a history of Guyana without overwhelming the reader with details and background that derails the story.
His Courage
I think it takes great courage to embrace the fact that parents are actual people. It is so easy to feel like the entirety of your parent's world is wrapped up in you. Carr courageously faces the fact that other people knew his dad differently than he did. That may not seem like a big deal, but the disparity between who he knew his dad to be, an abusive alcoholic who became an absent father, and who others knew him to be, a fascinating professor and political advocate, is a wide gulf that many would not have courage to cross. As he is hearing this disparate accounts, he takes them in and genuinely considers how these stories have an affect on who his father was. He does not shy away from any stories and he is very honest about the struggle he has to make all these facts fit into one human.
The Search
As you would imagine attempting to reconstruct the life and psyche of a person after they are gone is not easy. It involves lots of discussions with many different people. Carr does not get bogged down in details about the people he is interviewing, but he does not completely ignore their personal interest in his father either. He balances who the person is with what their information is. So we are introduced to a vast number of people with very different stories without becoming confused about what is going on.
One minor note of caution
This book is not one that can be read with distractions. The information and writing style is such that it takes focus to understand and enjoy the material. For me personally, I love that aspect of it. However, it does mean that my reading time is cut down. I have to make sure that everyone else is in bed or that I am by myself to find the time to read it. So don't expect to pick it up and start reading it in the middle of your busy day.
I love reading about new places. So when I read that this was set in Guyana, I was ready to pick it up. Being a Spanish teacher, I have studied and read quite a bit about South America. However, Guyana was never included in that. This book is helping to fill in that knowledge gap. Carr does a good job of giving a history of Guyana without overwhelming the reader with details and background that derails the story.
His Courage
I think it takes great courage to embrace the fact that parents are actual people. It is so easy to feel like the entirety of your parent's world is wrapped up in you. Carr courageously faces the fact that other people knew his dad differently than he did. That may not seem like a big deal, but the disparity between who he knew his dad to be, an abusive alcoholic who became an absent father, and who others knew him to be, a fascinating professor and political advocate, is a wide gulf that many would not have courage to cross. As he is hearing this disparate accounts, he takes them in and genuinely considers how these stories have an affect on who his father was. He does not shy away from any stories and he is very honest about the struggle he has to make all these facts fit into one human.
The Search
As you would imagine attempting to reconstruct the life and psyche of a person after they are gone is not easy. It involves lots of discussions with many different people. Carr does not get bogged down in details about the people he is interviewing, but he does not completely ignore their personal interest in his father either. He balances who the person is with what their information is. So we are introduced to a vast number of people with very different stories without becoming confused about what is going on.
One minor note of caution
This book is not one that can be read with distractions. The information and writing style is such that it takes focus to understand and enjoy the material. For me personally, I love that aspect of it. However, it does mean that my reading time is cut down. I have to make sure that everyone else is in bed or that I am by myself to find the time to read it. So don't expect to pick it up and start reading it in the middle of your busy day.
January 31, 2012
Beautifully written. The book was well constructed and kept my interest in both the author and his father, but I am in awe of his actual prose. The writing manages to be both classical and modern and utterly natural. I wish I'd tried reading some of it aloud. I'm not sure I can survive his books on terrorism (life is just too frightening just now) so I shall move on to the book about the expulsion of Muslims from Spain and follow my Spanish theme.
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January 21, 2016kindle 362 (memoir)
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews