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Before You Meet Prince Charming: A Guide to Radiant Purity
Companion Book: Before You Meet Prince Charming: A Guide to Radiant Purity, Study Guide
A young lady who is pure will shine with a radiant brightness in this world of darkness. How can a young lady stay physically and emotionally pure as she waits for God s best in marriage? This guide to radiant purity combines the thoughts and events in the life of a young princess with solid, clear teaching of Biblical convictions that young ladies today need to grasp. Through a captivating fairy tale, modern day examples, practical instruction and abundant humor, Sarah Mally challenges young ladies to turn to the Lord for fulfillment, to guard their hearts and minds, to identify and avoid the world s thinking and to shine brightly in this generation. This book offers Biblical answers to everyday questions and deep life struggles. It deals with many practical topics such as being wise in internet usage, dealing with crush, and building strong relationships with parents. Sarah Mally is a bright light in our day. Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Author, Host of Revive Our Hearts Radio "Before You Meet Prince Charming is a must read for every girl! Each of us sisters have been greatly encouraged through Sarah's challenging and easy to understand book." -Jana, Jill, Jessa, Jinger & Joy Duggar Sarah Mally is like a loving big sis to a generation of girls whose perceptions of love and romance have been seriously distorted by a culture intent on breaking their hearts. Before You Meet Prince Charming answers the big questions in a friendly, honest, and light-hearted fashion. We are adding it to our courtship reading list with pleasure. Dr. Jeff and Danielle Myers, President of Summit Ministries A sweet and delightfully humorous story . . . Creatively accomplished and very helpful. Gregg Harris"
A young lady who is pure will shine with a radiant brightness in this world of darkness. How can a young lady stay physically and emotionally pure as she waits for God s best in marriage? This guide to radiant purity combines the thoughts and events in the life of a young princess with solid, clear teaching of Biblical convictions that young ladies today need to grasp. Through a captivating fairy tale, modern day examples, practical instruction and abundant humor, Sarah Mally challenges young ladies to turn to the Lord for fulfillment, to guard their hearts and minds, to identify and avoid the world s thinking and to shine brightly in this generation. This book offers Biblical answers to everyday questions and deep life struggles. It deals with many practical topics such as being wise in internet usage, dealing with crush, and building strong relationships with parents. Sarah Mally is a bright light in our day. Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Author, Host of Revive Our Hearts Radio "Before You Meet Prince Charming is a must read for every girl! Each of us sisters have been greatly encouraged through Sarah's challenging and easy to understand book." -Jana, Jill, Jessa, Jinger & Joy Duggar Sarah Mally is like a loving big sis to a generation of girls whose perceptions of love and romance have been seriously distorted by a culture intent on breaking their hearts. Before You Meet Prince Charming answers the big questions in a friendly, honest, and light-hearted fashion. We are adding it to our courtship reading list with pleasure. Dr. Jeff and Danielle Myers, President of Summit Ministries A sweet and delightfully humorous story . . . Creatively accomplished and very helpful. Gregg Harris"
272 pages, Paperback
First published April 28, 2006
71 people are currently reading
2305 people want to read
About the author
Sarah Mally
15 books62 followersSarah Mally is a single young woman with a heart for girls. She is founder of Bright Lights, a discipleship ministry for young ladies, with over 200 chapters in 35 states and 5 countries. She lives in Marion, Iowa
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 153 reviews
July 9, 2012
I wanted to put no stars. this book was just awful. Granted, I'm a married woman, who doesn't have to wait for Prince Charming because that's ridiculous, so this book isn't for me, however, this book really isn't for anyone living in this century. I mean, really? Is this what we teach girls? I'd rather my daughter understand sex, as the power responsibility and wonderful activity it should always be. But this was just silly.
Get into your library and give your daughters a book on physics, or the Dangerous Book for Boys (it goes both ways, meh) or anything, but stop teaching her that sexual purity is an advantage to her someone... cultivate her mind that is the best attribute she will always have!
Get into your library and give your daughters a book on physics, or the Dangerous Book for Boys (it goes both ways, meh) or anything, but stop teaching her that sexual purity is an advantage to her someone... cultivate her mind that is the best attribute she will always have!
February 11, 2019
Would suggest to any young lady!
We must guard our hearts until the right man comes along! If you struggle with peer presser, having a boyfriend, going on dates, or wanting love, but you know you want to serve the Lord then read this book! It was so encouraging!
As young ladies we need to not open until the time is right!
We must guard our hearts until the right man comes along! If you struggle with peer presser, having a boyfriend, going on dates, or wanting love, but you know you want to serve the Lord then read this book! It was so encouraging!
As young ladies we need to not open until the time is right!
Read
June 5, 2023Updated review; June 2023
________________
I was curious about this book a few months ago, so I picked it up, hoping to do a re-read.
The result? Despite my original review, I honestly ... couldn't really get through the first few chapters. 😅
An issue I had right off the bat with this one is the fact that it's quite contradictory; at the start, it states that the purpose of maintaining purity is to honor God, not follow a list of rules. But then the entirety of the book is a list of rules the author followed that are heavily influenced by her family and her own upbringing. It almost reads as a template: stay away from guys (because accidentally giving your heart away is apparently a thing), surround yourself with girlfriends, waitttt, and trust that 1) a good guy will notice and ask to court you and 2) trust your dad that he'll say yes to the right guy. Only then can you actually get to know the guy. 😆
And personally? I find this flawed in so many ways (some obvious). That's wonderful if it's actually worked for the author and her sister. But it's not exactly relevant in today's day and age, and the way the author goes about explaining this template leaves barely any room for exceptions or flexibility (or the fact that God can work in so many different ways to bring people together).
Perhaps that's the main issue I had with this book. Everyone is different, everyone has their own convictions on certain things. But to completely deem something (such as genuine good friendships with the opposite gender) as "no, BAD" is unbiblical and completely oblivious to the fact that not everyone will struggle with crushing on any human they spot of the opposite gender. It's honestly almost ... disrespectful to assume that? Like females are entirely incapable of being mature and controlling their emotions? And guys should be avoided like the plague? And there should be zero contact between the two (except at one point where the author mentions organizing or working on projects, but only when strictly necessary)?
That probably annoyed me the most. 😅 Partly because I have some experience with this mentality and I've found it can quickly be turned to "all of the male species should be regarded with suspicion" and lead to overthinking every little detail to make sure you're not accidentally "giving your heart away." And this leads to overcomplicating and harming what could be a God-honoring friendship—no romance involved.
Luckily, even from a very young age, I was blessed with parents who made sure I understood the value of friendships with ANYONE. And, as I got older, trusted me to make decisions for myself about developing friendships with the opposite gender, without trivial rules set in place. Rather, they trusted me to develop my own boundaries with time—and even to this day, I'm so grateful because it really helped me gain a sense of self-awareness and clarity about my personal comfort levels that for the most part apply across the board, from friends to relatives to coworkers.
(I also constantly joke that my parents had it easy on me because in my early teen years I was too hyper-focused on being a writer and school to even notice guys. 😆 Romance just wasn't a priority. Which, to be fair, is still pretty accurate. Just putting that out there, don't get any ideas)
However, that's just me and my own situation. For some, those "trivial" rules may actually prove beneficial! It just really depends on the person, which is exactly the point I'm trying to make here. Basically, BE MATURE. If struggling with lust toward every guy is a constant thing for you, put up some boundaries and get accountability from people you trust. Don't just blame it on guys, or avoid them like the plague because of a struggle YOU'RE dealing with. Because believe it or not, you are a human being capable of being mature and prayerfully dealing your emotions. 😛 Who knew?
Another thing- I didn't appreciate the way the author depicted the years prior to finding a husband as purposeless? It wasn't outright stated as such, but I definitely got that impression. Even in the little (and frankly cringy, but I'm not the intended audience) vignettes at the start, the princess didn't really have much purpose besides pining away and waiting for a guy to show up at her doorstep, as well as learning to trust that her father knows best for her. It felt very idealistic and old-fashioned, and something I'm not sure a majority of people do nowadays, to be honest (if you do, well! Good for you? I'm sure someone out there will appreciate that)
Speaking of that, the author seemed to rely very heavily on the fact that "your father knows best and will make the decision (which man to court) for you" but seemed to completely disregard the fact that not every girl out there has a godly Christian father to "vet" a guy for you. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the author did, but it did feel a little narrow-minded as that was the only implied way to "approve" a guy. The more I thought about it, the more I worried a little—in the author's idealistic template, does the girl not have a say at all then? What about the mother and other members of the family? Her pastor? Her mentor? That chapter honestly left too much to be desired.
With all that said, I guess I'll come to the conclusion that this book is majorly outdated. I couldn't really get over the flaws in the author's reasoning, and I almost wish this book would've been written as a first-person narrative telling HER story and how this method worked out for her, rather than trying to apply it across the board. However, like I mentioned in my original review, there are some genuinely good gems in this book—for instance, the issue with modern dating. Though I wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable recommending it to Christian tween girls, I would recommend those curious to give it a go and see what you think. You'll never know unless you try, right?
Original review; August 2021
__________________
A relatively short and thorough novel on Biblical purity, as well as a smattering of other topics. I found myself agreeing with a lot of the author's thoughts on this topic (specifically the problems with dating nowadays), which is uncommon when reading nonfiction, for me at least.
I do agree with what other reviewers have stated—that some parts felt cringy and old-fashioned (*cough cough* the stories in the beginning of each chapter), and the topics were dealt with in a very basic and overly simplistic way. But I think that's really just personal preference, plus I assume this book is aimed for younger audiences. I do wish some parts were elaborated more on, though.
But in all, Mally keeps this read short and informative, without sacrificing personal examples and stories along the way. I'd feel comfortable recommending this to Christian tween girls.
________________
I was curious about this book a few months ago, so I picked it up, hoping to do a re-read.
The result? Despite my original review, I honestly ... couldn't really get through the first few chapters. 😅
An issue I had right off the bat with this one is the fact that it's quite contradictory; at the start, it states that the purpose of maintaining purity is to honor God, not follow a list of rules. But then the entirety of the book is a list of rules the author followed that are heavily influenced by her family and her own upbringing. It almost reads as a template: stay away from guys (because accidentally giving your heart away is apparently a thing), surround yourself with girlfriends, waitttt, and trust that 1) a good guy will notice and ask to court you and 2) trust your dad that he'll say yes to the right guy. Only then can you actually get to know the guy. 😆
And personally? I find this flawed in so many ways (some obvious). That's wonderful if it's actually worked for the author and her sister. But it's not exactly relevant in today's day and age, and the way the author goes about explaining this template leaves barely any room for exceptions or flexibility (or the fact that God can work in so many different ways to bring people together).
Perhaps that's the main issue I had with this book. Everyone is different, everyone has their own convictions on certain things. But to completely deem something (such as genuine good friendships with the opposite gender) as "no, BAD" is unbiblical and completely oblivious to the fact that not everyone will struggle with crushing on any human they spot of the opposite gender. It's honestly almost ... disrespectful to assume that? Like females are entirely incapable of being mature and controlling their emotions? And guys should be avoided like the plague? And there should be zero contact between the two (except at one point where the author mentions organizing or working on projects, but only when strictly necessary)?
That probably annoyed me the most. 😅 Partly because I have some experience with this mentality and I've found it can quickly be turned to "all of the male species should be regarded with suspicion" and lead to overthinking every little detail to make sure you're not accidentally "giving your heart away." And this leads to overcomplicating and harming what could be a God-honoring friendship—no romance involved.
Luckily, even from a very young age, I was blessed with parents who made sure I understood the value of friendships with ANYONE. And, as I got older, trusted me to make decisions for myself about developing friendships with the opposite gender, without trivial rules set in place. Rather, they trusted me to develop my own boundaries with time—and even to this day, I'm so grateful because it really helped me gain a sense of self-awareness and clarity about my personal comfort levels that for the most part apply across the board, from friends to relatives to coworkers.
(I also constantly joke that my parents had it easy on me because in my early teen years I was too hyper-focused on being a writer and school to even notice guys. 😆 Romance just wasn't a priority. Which, to be fair, is still pretty accurate. Just putting that out there, don't get any ideas)
However, that's just me and my own situation. For some, those "trivial" rules may actually prove beneficial! It just really depends on the person, which is exactly the point I'm trying to make here. Basically, BE MATURE. If struggling with lust toward every guy is a constant thing for you, put up some boundaries and get accountability from people you trust. Don't just blame it on guys, or avoid them like the plague because of a struggle YOU'RE dealing with. Because believe it or not, you are a human being capable of being mature and prayerfully dealing your emotions. 😛 Who knew?
Another thing- I didn't appreciate the way the author depicted the years prior to finding a husband as purposeless? It wasn't outright stated as such, but I definitely got that impression. Even in the little (and frankly cringy, but I'm not the intended audience) vignettes at the start, the princess didn't really have much purpose besides pining away and waiting for a guy to show up at her doorstep, as well as learning to trust that her father knows best for her. It felt very idealistic and old-fashioned, and something I'm not sure a majority of people do nowadays, to be honest (if you do, well! Good for you? I'm sure someone out there will appreciate that)
Speaking of that, the author seemed to rely very heavily on the fact that "your father knows best and will make the decision (which man to court) for you" but seemed to completely disregard the fact that not every girl out there has a godly Christian father to "vet" a guy for you. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the author did, but it did feel a little narrow-minded as that was the only implied way to "approve" a guy. The more I thought about it, the more I worried a little—in the author's idealistic template, does the girl not have a say at all then? What about the mother and other members of the family? Her pastor? Her mentor? That chapter honestly left too much to be desired.
With all that said, I guess I'll come to the conclusion that this book is majorly outdated. I couldn't really get over the flaws in the author's reasoning, and I almost wish this book would've been written as a first-person narrative telling HER story and how this method worked out for her, rather than trying to apply it across the board. However, like I mentioned in my original review, there are some genuinely good gems in this book—for instance, the issue with modern dating. Though I wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable recommending it to Christian tween girls, I would recommend those curious to give it a go and see what you think. You'll never know unless you try, right?
Original review; August 2021
__________________
A relatively short and thorough novel on Biblical purity, as well as a smattering of other topics. I found myself agreeing with a lot of the author's thoughts on this topic (specifically the problems with dating nowadays), which is uncommon when reading nonfiction, for me at least.
I do agree with what other reviewers have stated—that some parts felt cringy and old-fashioned (*cough cough* the stories in the beginning of each chapter), and the topics were dealt with in a very basic and overly simplistic way. But I think that's really just personal preference, plus I assume this book is aimed for younger audiences. I do wish some parts were elaborated more on, though.
But in all, Mally keeps this read short and informative, without sacrificing personal examples and stories along the way. I'd feel comfortable recommending this to Christian tween girls.
May 7, 2020
This is Honestly one of the most well-written books on the subject of chastity. It did not just say don't do this, do this, if you do this you are wicked. I truly enjoyed it; it covered everything from Guarding your heart for your husband and how to do it to having a life purpose bigger than marriage to Romantic dreams, and how God will bring you your husband without your help it will be more amazing and more perfect then you could ever imagine or planed. :)
January 9, 2015
First off let me just say I read this book against my will because I was told I wasn't allowed to buy any more books until I was finished with this book so it might contribute to my hatred of it. At first I thought this book might not be so bad, it started out with a cute little story about a princess who was beginning to wonder when God was going to provide her with a husband. I love fairy tales so I found myself smiling at the simple yet cute story. However, when the author would start writing her viewpoint at the end of each part of the fairy tale I began to resent this book. This is just my opinion but the author seemed to legitimately think that without being friends with or ever getting to know a guy he's just going to show up on her doorstep one day and ask to court her never having talked to her before. I'm not sure if she meant it that way but she also seemed to think that girls should spend their single years helping people in this best ways they can (which I do agree with) but she also stressed the point that women are meant to be helpers to their husbands and its our job to take care of our husband and children and in return our husbands protect us. At this point I was mad. I strongly believe that girls do not always need men to take care of us and provide for us. Though some girls may be fine with that I'm more of a take charge type of person who would rather make or do something remarkable to be remembered by than to get married and spend the rest of my life taking care of kids. This is just my opinion and I don't mean offense to anyone but I simply thought this book pushed those topics a little too far and I felt the need to express my opinion on the topics. If anyone got anything different from this book please send me a message and I would love to discuss it with someone with different viewpoints from mine who might be able to help me understand this book differently. Happy reading! :)
January 20, 2012
no girl should read this.
January 16, 2024
Decent enough but definitely geared towards a pre-teen audience.
Mally obviously completely bought into purity culture and the "ministry" mindset - she threw around the word "ministry" so many times without defining what she meant. Sort of gave off Duggar vibes. Or maybe Jill and Jinger's memoirs have just traumatized me.
See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5mjw....
Mally obviously completely bought into purity culture and the "ministry" mindset - she threw around the word "ministry" so many times without defining what she meant. Sort of gave off Duggar vibes. Or maybe Jill and Jinger's memoirs have just traumatized me.
See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5mjw....
April 13, 2012
Okay, so I'm fourteen and I got about halfway through this book, a little over that. I think this book is more aimed for girls who have been raised in a Christian home. I have not been raised in a Christian home, so this book for me, was a little childish. I feel like it kind of sheltered issues. That's okay for girls who are younger or have been sheltered. I have been exposed to more sexual things and I have made mistakes, so I think a more mature book on purity would be more effective for me. I still recommend it for girls who have been more shielded than I have to lust and such because I really think this book would be great for them.
The only reason I have given this book a 3/5 is because it is a good book and it provides helpful assignments and such to exercise being a pure young woman and making good decisions, but it is aimed for a different audience. It makes references for parents to step in and assist and my dad is not present and my mom is not a Christian so that hindered me from really being able to follow some of the things Miss Sarah writes about.
The only reason I have given this book a 3/5 is because it is a good book and it provides helpful assignments and such to exercise being a pure young woman and making good decisions, but it is aimed for a different audience. It makes references for parents to step in and assist and my dad is not present and my mom is not a Christian so that hindered me from really being able to follow some of the things Miss Sarah writes about.
January 21, 2015
Before You Meet Prince Charming is a fresh, poignant look at romance, marriage, and waiting for Prince Charming. Rather than laying out the rules (though this is done somewhat), Sarah encourages girls to go as far as they can to remain pure for their future husbands, rather than going as far as they can without losing their purity. This book is also enveloped in faith; and Sarah points out that getting married is not the goal; rather, growing closer to God is! :) Marriage is a gift in life, not the goal in life. So yeah, this book is just refreshing to fading convictions or people wondering if waiting is worth it. For the most part, it was a lovely and encouraging read.
As with most self-help/devotional books, I didn’t find myself agreeing with absolutely everything in this book. But nothing was overtly against my beliefs or dead wrong or anything like that. So, while I didn’t agree with everything, you can very much see Sarah Mally’s heart for God and for pure and godly marriages and romances! :) It is touching.
Before You Meet Prince Charming is written for rather a wide variety of ages. Nothing explicit or really telling is said; so this book would be appropriate for younger girls. There’s a sweet, ongoing story about a princess at the beginning of each chapter that would be especially appealing to younger girls. But it is also a book that can be helpful and thought-provoking for older girls and young women as well. All ages, perhaps! :) It’s a thoughtful read.
I am happy to have found this book! Before You Meet Prince Charming is a shining instruction manual in a world of romances gone wrong!
As with most self-help/devotional books, I didn’t find myself agreeing with absolutely everything in this book. But nothing was overtly against my beliefs or dead wrong or anything like that. So, while I didn’t agree with everything, you can very much see Sarah Mally’s heart for God and for pure and godly marriages and romances! :) It is touching.
Before You Meet Prince Charming is written for rather a wide variety of ages. Nothing explicit or really telling is said; so this book would be appropriate for younger girls. There’s a sweet, ongoing story about a princess at the beginning of each chapter that would be especially appealing to younger girls. But it is also a book that can be helpful and thought-provoking for older girls and young women as well. All ages, perhaps! :) It’s a thoughtful read.
I am happy to have found this book! Before You Meet Prince Charming is a shining instruction manual in a world of romances gone wrong!
March 5, 2018
"Disappointed but not surprised."
I finally finished re-reading this book. I have so many thoughts on it. Review to come. Paired with wine.
I finally finished re-reading this book. I have so many thoughts on it. Review to come. Paired with wine.
December 13, 2008
This is such a good book! It's all about: waiting on the Lord, how to prepare for marriage, purity, finding true a nd lasting love in Christ, listening to your parents guidance, etc. I found it very interesting and helpful. It's a great book for teenage girls to read! Sarah Mally is such a great writer and she backs everything up with scripture.
February 15, 2017
This book is amazing! I learned so much.
September 27, 2017
I read this book as a mother-daughter thing with my mum and really enjoyed it. It has many wise words and encouraging stories. It quite honestly inspired me.
January 30, 2022
blaming my recent read of passion & purity for making me come back and reread this. I got it for Christmas when I was 16 and I felt very much like I felt about passion & purity - ie, dating books always come to me too late, like I read it expecting enlightenment, but instead I find that I know everything they're saying and have heard it all before... xD
once again I feel that the author has a lot of good advice and I agree with her principles. in fact, it's very hard to argue with her points. eg, she says that the secular dating system is a mess and let's not follow it. and I agree, the secular dating system isn't some recipe for success. she says let's wait for God's best. and I agree, although this term "God's best" tends to annoy me these days because of overuse. but then there's this weird overarching feeling you get from reading the book in its entirety that her system isn't the only right way although it feels like she thinks it is. she doesn't say it anywhere but it's just the overall vibe. it's very Mally-ish, if you know anything about the family. and my life circumstances and possibly worldview is not the same as theirs.
however I feel like its biggest con, for me, was that it talks a lot about not "giving your heart away" prematurely and how you shouldn't encourage romantic notions by consuming certain kinds of media (books, film, etc), by obsessing over crushes, by talking about boys with your friends... and how you should treat them as brothers in Christ. and yet the whole "your heart is so fragile and you can give it away without even knowing or intending to" kind of has the opposite effect... where I, in fact, start to view all boys with this suspicion since my first meeting them, gauging with a strange sort of paranoia at every point of our knowing each other how close I am to accidentally giving my heart away. so maybe it's just me, but the book has the opposite effect it intended. I feel like we'd be better off if someone wrote a book about how we can have good non romantic relationships period. because if you really do love someone platonically, you would never ever want to mislead them or come in between their future relationship with their future spouse. you will set boundaries and be careful, not because your heart is fragile and you just cannot take it being broken (that's fear based), not because of your future-spouse-who-is-currently-just-a-figment-of-your-imagination (that's putting an awful lot of stock in someone you don't know), not because some book preached you into doing so (that's called not thinking for yourself) ,,, but because you love your sibling in Christ.
and I think we need to stop doing stuff "for our future spouse". keep yourself pure for your future spouse. save all the "firsts" for your future spouse. have a good relationship with God and be an active Christian and be competent at life skills for your future spouse. like yeah, obviously these are an essential foundation for a good marriage BUT I WILL NOT DO IT FOR MY FUTURE SPOUSE. I am doing it for /me/ and because I want to have a healthy life. I am doing it for /God/ because I love him. I am doing it for my family and for my friends and for the people I know and want to serve. ITS NOT FOR MY "FUTURE SPOUSE" as if that person will be some sort of magical reward for things I should be doing anyway.
anyway. for this book, accept the broad strokes (focus on God, be patient, don't settle or compromise) but don't try to force yourself to live by the details (ie, wait for some guy you know casually to ask your dad if he can court you) because God's there to write every one of us a different and unique and precious and beautiful love story. JUST USE YOUR SMART CHRISTIAN BRAIN ok. maybe I'm just not the target audience. I feel like everything in this book should be clear to Christian teens who've been well raised and taught by their parents and read Christian lit and media in general. For young Christian girls who don't have that though--I think they might be able to learn something. And I guess maybe Christy Miller could really use it 🤔 (but also where's the boys' version that tells them how to pick a girl from all these waiting maidens? can I read it?)
and now I'll just go back to listening to this podcast episode about vocational Christian singleness and celibacy because I am actually learning about some new stuff there, how cool is that?!?!?!?
((ps, the princess fairy tale in this book?? yeah please treat is as an allegory to be interpreted only one way and don't try to make logical sense out of it, thanks))
(((pps the one place where I actually learned something new about marriage and dating was the episode The Idolatry of Marriage from 30 Minutes With the Perrys podcast like, yeah, books written for tweens and teens are kinda elementary for me sorry)))
once again I feel that the author has a lot of good advice and I agree with her principles. in fact, it's very hard to argue with her points. eg, she says that the secular dating system is a mess and let's not follow it. and I agree, the secular dating system isn't some recipe for success. she says let's wait for God's best. and I agree, although this term "God's best" tends to annoy me these days because of overuse. but then there's this weird overarching feeling you get from reading the book in its entirety that her system isn't the only right way although it feels like she thinks it is. she doesn't say it anywhere but it's just the overall vibe. it's very Mally-ish, if you know anything about the family. and my life circumstances and possibly worldview is not the same as theirs.
however I feel like its biggest con, for me, was that it talks a lot about not "giving your heart away" prematurely and how you shouldn't encourage romantic notions by consuming certain kinds of media (books, film, etc), by obsessing over crushes, by talking about boys with your friends... and how you should treat them as brothers in Christ. and yet the whole "your heart is so fragile and you can give it away without even knowing or intending to" kind of has the opposite effect... where I, in fact, start to view all boys with this suspicion since my first meeting them, gauging with a strange sort of paranoia at every point of our knowing each other how close I am to accidentally giving my heart away. so maybe it's just me, but the book has the opposite effect it intended. I feel like we'd be better off if someone wrote a book about how we can have good non romantic relationships period. because if you really do love someone platonically, you would never ever want to mislead them or come in between their future relationship with their future spouse. you will set boundaries and be careful, not because your heart is fragile and you just cannot take it being broken (that's fear based), not because of your future-spouse-who-is-currently-just-a-figment-of-your-imagination (that's putting an awful lot of stock in someone you don't know), not because some book preached you into doing so (that's called not thinking for yourself) ,,, but because you love your sibling in Christ.
and I think we need to stop doing stuff "for our future spouse". keep yourself pure for your future spouse. save all the "firsts" for your future spouse. have a good relationship with God and be an active Christian and be competent at life skills for your future spouse. like yeah, obviously these are an essential foundation for a good marriage BUT I WILL NOT DO IT FOR MY FUTURE SPOUSE. I am doing it for /me/ and because I want to have a healthy life. I am doing it for /God/ because I love him. I am doing it for my family and for my friends and for the people I know and want to serve. ITS NOT FOR MY "FUTURE SPOUSE" as if that person will be some sort of magical reward for things I should be doing anyway.
anyway. for this book, accept the broad strokes (focus on God, be patient, don't settle or compromise) but don't try to force yourself to live by the details (ie, wait for some guy you know casually to ask your dad if he can court you) because God's there to write every one of us a different and unique and precious and beautiful love story. JUST USE YOUR SMART CHRISTIAN BRAIN ok. maybe I'm just not the target audience. I feel like everything in this book should be clear to Christian teens who've been well raised and taught by their parents and read Christian lit and media in general. For young Christian girls who don't have that though--I think they might be able to learn something. And I guess maybe Christy Miller could really use it 🤔 (but also where's the boys' version that tells them how to pick a girl from all these waiting maidens? can I read it?)
and now I'll just go back to listening to this podcast episode about vocational Christian singleness and celibacy because I am actually learning about some new stuff there, how cool is that?!?!?!?
((ps, the princess fairy tale in this book?? yeah please treat is as an allegory to be interpreted only one way and don't try to make logical sense out of it, thanks))
(((pps the one place where I actually learned something new about marriage and dating was the episode The Idolatry of Marriage from 30 Minutes With the Perrys podcast like, yeah, books written for tweens and teens are kinda elementary for me sorry)))
May 31, 2013
The main problems I had with this book were the childishness, and the amount of rules.
Note: I didn't sit down and read this book the traditional way. I actually just flipped through and read a couple chapters at a time. Because of the subject matter, this was not a problem. :)
One thing that bothered me about the writing was that Ms. Mally tells us when and where to court, what to do, how to do it, etc. but she has yet to be married. I think that while for the most part she was right, (because she does say to trust God with your heart, and that is the core of any romance you want to be a part of) she got a little too caught up in the details, pegging the reader with do's and don'ts that get rather stressful.
I also found that the pictures and the little princess stories to go with them were to young to be put in a book with a topic like dating and marriage.
On the positive side, her views were mostly correct. I agreed with her in principle, (for the most part) but I didn't particularly agree with her way of carrying that out. :)
This isn't to say I totally dismiss the book though. It's inspiring to see a young woman passionate about helping other girls her age.
Note: I didn't sit down and read this book the traditional way. I actually just flipped through and read a couple chapters at a time. Because of the subject matter, this was not a problem. :)
One thing that bothered me about the writing was that Ms. Mally tells us when and where to court, what to do, how to do it, etc. but she has yet to be married. I think that while for the most part she was right, (because she does say to trust God with your heart, and that is the core of any romance you want to be a part of) she got a little too caught up in the details, pegging the reader with do's and don'ts that get rather stressful.
I also found that the pictures and the little princess stories to go with them were to young to be put in a book with a topic like dating and marriage.
On the positive side, her views were mostly correct. I agreed with her in principle, (for the most part) but I didn't particularly agree with her way of carrying that out. :)
This isn't to say I totally dismiss the book though. It's inspiring to see a young woman passionate about helping other girls her age.
June 1, 2009
this book was excellent. Ms Mally has been an incredible inspiration and mentor to me and her writing is awesome. This book is important and I hope that every young girl gets to read it. I see some people have left negative comments on it, and thats fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But i realize nobody likes to think someone may be telling them theres a better way to live their life or they are doing something not accroding to God, Who wants to be told they are wrong? Even in the Bible when Jesus condemned people for their sins they lashed out against Him, of course people will do the same to us humans. But, thats because like Jesus said on the cross, forgive them they know not what they do...alot of people do not KNOW they are living sinfully or the full extent of the punishment for it..and I admire this book because it helps open peoples eyes and hopefully humbles people enough to help them be wise and learn from crticism.
December 31, 2007
this had good teachings in it, but I didn't like the person writing it because she had no stories of her own to share. The impression I got from the book was that the author was saying, "I'm a perfectly pure, wonderful daughter and you should be just like me." Now, I know that's not true, but I just didn't like it. so no offense to anyone that does like this book.
September 25, 2009
This is one of the BEST books I've ever read. Sarah Mally is a WONDERFUL author. She has written a great Bible study for girls called Bright Lights, and it's equally great. I HIGHLY recommend this book to girls of ALL ages.
July 5, 2010
more geared for home-schooled girls but still great for any girl on why she should not dwell and waste her time waiting for a man and wait till marriage to be intimate. good teaching on how to live your life for God. will definitely have my daughter read this.
March 14, 2010
This is a great book and i highly recommend it!
August 5, 2017
Full disclosure:
>>> I led a Bright Lights group (this author's discipleship program for young ladies) for a year and a half, and before that I attended a different Bright Lights group for two-ish years. Obviously, I'm a fan of Sarah Mally and her approach to ministry.
>>> I've been to a Radiant Purity conference, which is basically this book, except live! And even better! Which is saying a lot because the first time I read this book I was all like, "OHMYGOODNESS BEST. BOOK. EVER! I should read this EVERY MONTH to keep my thoughts going in the right direction!"
Yeah. Ummmm...
I put it on my bookshelf and didn't crack it open again until now, about 7 years later. I can be a pretty good procrastinator, if I do say so myself. ;) And actually, I only re-read it now because I'm decluttering my bookshelf again and I needed to determine if it's worth keeping. (I can be a pretty ruthless declutterer)
Kinda silly, right? I mean, it's such a mind-blowing book, how could I not keep it, right?
Right?
Well, the jury's still out on that one, but I'm heavily leaning toward letting it go. (I can be a pretty ruthless declutterer. Oh, I already mentioned that? Well, it's true.) ;)
That's NOT to say that I didn't like this book. I did! I loved parts of it, in fact. Still, it didn't resonate with me like I was expecting it to. After thinking about that, I decided it's probably because:
1) I'm not the target audience. Yes, I'm young, and single, and I desire the very best marriage but still sometimes struggle with impatience and loneliness. Yes, yes, yes! So much here for me, and yet... I'm not 12. The whole "What art thou doing even THINKING about this stuff thouist ain't getting married anytime soon!" discussions aren't exactly applicable anymore, and they felt woven through at least the first half of the book. I support this line of thinking, but I don't need to be convinced of it again.
2) I'm actually pretty good at not being "too friendly" or flirtatious. My signature move is to hide behind my sister and only pop out when I have something useful to contribute to the conversation. If that's not an option, I have a long list of tools in my utility belt, ranging from "pretend he didn't just say that and quickly move on with your life" to "be kind and pleasant but keep it casual." Yep. I'm happy to report that using these strategies has become much less terrifying to me as I've gotten older. It probably helps that I'm an introvert and therefore tend to keep relationship boundaries anyway, but this is DEFINITELY a skill that improves with practice, so her suggestions in this area were less "WOW! HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE!" and more, "Okay, yep, got that."
3) There were a few times when she presented her opinion as if it were Scriptural Truth. I respect Sarah and I'm sure her admonitions were well-intended, but that doesn't mean that they should be given the same weight as something that the Bible teaches! I have a problem with it when people liberalize the Word of God, and I have a problem with it when they conservatize it too. You're not allowed to twist God's words to fit your own agenda, no matter how holy or right your convictions seem. Okay, I'm gonna quit before this becomes a full-blown rant, but suffice to say that this was my main problem with the book. It made me raise my eyebrows because I hadn't noticed ANYTHING like that when I read it the first time.
I would still say it's worth reading, especially if you're part of the target audience or you have a daughter who is. Definitely use discernment in sorting the uncomfortable but Biblically-based stuff from the non-Biblical-but-presented-as-such stuff. That can be exhausting, I know, but the passages about delighting in the Lord and not wasting your life waiting for romance because you're already SO EXCELLENTLY loved by God are pure gold and make it totally worth reading.
And I might just have a copy you can read. ;)
>>> I led a Bright Lights group (this author's discipleship program for young ladies) for a year and a half, and before that I attended a different Bright Lights group for two-ish years. Obviously, I'm a fan of Sarah Mally and her approach to ministry.
>>> I've been to a Radiant Purity conference, which is basically this book, except live! And even better! Which is saying a lot because the first time I read this book I was all like, "OHMYGOODNESS BEST. BOOK. EVER! I should read this EVERY MONTH to keep my thoughts going in the right direction!"
Yeah. Ummmm...
I put it on my bookshelf and didn't crack it open again until now, about 7 years later. I can be a pretty good procrastinator, if I do say so myself. ;) And actually, I only re-read it now because I'm decluttering my bookshelf again and I needed to determine if it's worth keeping. (I can be a pretty ruthless declutterer)
Kinda silly, right? I mean, it's such a mind-blowing book, how could I not keep it, right?
Right?
Well, the jury's still out on that one, but I'm heavily leaning toward letting it go. (I can be a pretty ruthless declutterer. Oh, I already mentioned that? Well, it's true.) ;)
That's NOT to say that I didn't like this book. I did! I loved parts of it, in fact. Still, it didn't resonate with me like I was expecting it to. After thinking about that, I decided it's probably because:
1) I'm not the target audience. Yes, I'm young, and single, and I desire the very best marriage but still sometimes struggle with impatience and loneliness. Yes, yes, yes! So much here for me, and yet... I'm not 12. The whole "What art thou doing even THINKING about this stuff thouist ain't getting married anytime soon!" discussions aren't exactly applicable anymore, and they felt woven through at least the first half of the book. I support this line of thinking, but I don't need to be convinced of it again.
2) I'm actually pretty good at not being "too friendly" or flirtatious. My signature move is to hide behind my sister and only pop out when I have something useful to contribute to the conversation. If that's not an option, I have a long list of tools in my utility belt, ranging from "pretend he didn't just say that and quickly move on with your life" to "be kind and pleasant but keep it casual." Yep. I'm happy to report that using these strategies has become much less terrifying to me as I've gotten older. It probably helps that I'm an introvert and therefore tend to keep relationship boundaries anyway, but this is DEFINITELY a skill that improves with practice, so her suggestions in this area were less "WOW! HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE!" and more, "Okay, yep, got that."
3) There were a few times when she presented her opinion as if it were Scriptural Truth. I respect Sarah and I'm sure her admonitions were well-intended, but that doesn't mean that they should be given the same weight as something that the Bible teaches! I have a problem with it when people liberalize the Word of God, and I have a problem with it when they conservatize it too. You're not allowed to twist God's words to fit your own agenda, no matter how holy or right your convictions seem. Okay, I'm gonna quit before this becomes a full-blown rant, but suffice to say that this was my main problem with the book. It made me raise my eyebrows because I hadn't noticed ANYTHING like that when I read it the first time.
I would still say it's worth reading, especially if you're part of the target audience or you have a daughter who is. Definitely use discernment in sorting the uncomfortable but Biblically-based stuff from the non-Biblical-but-presented-as-such stuff. That can be exhausting, I know, but the passages about delighting in the Lord and not wasting your life waiting for romance because you're already SO EXCELLENTLY loved by God are pure gold and make it totally worth reading.
And I might just have a copy you can read. ;)
February 3, 2017
This book was incredible! A friend recommended this book to me and I picked it up thinking it would just be another good read. But from the very first page, I could already tell that it would be a life-changer. There is a sweet story of a princess, her kingdom and her wise parents and an unsavory...well, I won't spoil it for you...in the very beginning of each chapter to tie in with what she's going to talk about. It covered all the topics that should be considered when you're considering, dreaming about or in the middle of a dating or courtship relationship.
The book was about many things. The right way for a girl to wait for the one that the Lord wants her to marry and also what to do in the meantime. Principles, such as guarding your heart, serving your family, how to be content when Mr. Right isn't quite in your life, yet, etc were brought to the light. But most importantly, it talked about how to delight yourself in the Lord, to fall in love with your Heavenly Prince. I'd have to say that the thing that most spoke to me in this book was that everything that I desire in my future husband...love, affection, faithfulness, etc, I already have in Christ.
Some have told me that they didn't like this book because it talked about meeting a husband, but the author was middle-aged and still single, without being married. With that in mind, here's something that may make sense. This book is not a "How to find a husband in seven easy steps." This book is not "How to find a husband 101." This book is about what to do while you are waiting for your "prince charming" to arrive. It focuses more on developing a relationship with Jesus and with your parents than going out and seeking a relationship with a young man. The author even mentions that marriage may not be for everyone, that God may have other plans.
The book, although the title contains something found often in fairy tales, was not filled with a "fairy tale" overview. Instead of promising that a knight in shining armor would come, it used the words "prince charming," "princess" "knight in shining armor" as metaphors, painting a picture for the reader to see clearly what Miss Mally was trying to say.
This book really, really opened my eyes to a lot of things. It revealed a lot about my relationship with God, and it really answered a lot of questions I didn't even know I had. I found so much valuable information about my heart and how not to give it away in the wrong manner. I'd recommend this book for any young woman who is waiting for her "prince charming," who wants a deeper relationship with God (and her parents, too) and who is willing to answer a few tough accountability questions along the way.
The book was about many things. The right way for a girl to wait for the one that the Lord wants her to marry and also what to do in the meantime. Principles, such as guarding your heart, serving your family, how to be content when Mr. Right isn't quite in your life, yet, etc were brought to the light. But most importantly, it talked about how to delight yourself in the Lord, to fall in love with your Heavenly Prince. I'd have to say that the thing that most spoke to me in this book was that everything that I desire in my future husband...love, affection, faithfulness, etc, I already have in Christ.
Some have told me that they didn't like this book because it talked about meeting a husband, but the author was middle-aged and still single, without being married. With that in mind, here's something that may make sense. This book is not a "How to find a husband in seven easy steps." This book is not "How to find a husband 101." This book is about what to do while you are waiting for your "prince charming" to arrive. It focuses more on developing a relationship with Jesus and with your parents than going out and seeking a relationship with a young man. The author even mentions that marriage may not be for everyone, that God may have other plans.
The book, although the title contains something found often in fairy tales, was not filled with a "fairy tale" overview. Instead of promising that a knight in shining armor would come, it used the words "prince charming," "princess" "knight in shining armor" as metaphors, painting a picture for the reader to see clearly what Miss Mally was trying to say.
This book really, really opened my eyes to a lot of things. It revealed a lot about my relationship with God, and it really answered a lot of questions I didn't even know I had. I found so much valuable information about my heart and how not to give it away in the wrong manner. I'd recommend this book for any young woman who is waiting for her "prince charming," who wants a deeper relationship with God (and her parents, too) and who is willing to answer a few tough accountability questions along the way.
December 24, 2011
[disclaimer: before reading this review please understand I am EXTREMELY picky about what kind of media (or anything) I consume.]
gack. this was a piece of cheese, aged beyond good taste! if you are a person who likes reading books with intricate plot, cutting dialogue or anything that qualifies as "good" writing, stay away from this one. I couldn't finish this book (I stopped 3/4th's of the way through) because I felt like I was slowly doing two things: loosing brain cells and having the remaining pieces of my analytic skills smooshed into some kind of mass that only recognizes Disney fairy tales and cotton candy as reality.
let it be known that I found this..."book" revolting but I will mention a few of it's redeeming qualities.
[SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT] "Before Prince Charming" unravels by rotating chapter by chapter a story of princess' problems in courtship and a down-to-Earth commentary by Ms. Mally. as the book progresses, we learn through the princess' choices the consequences of impatience but also the benefits of listening to our parent's advice.
even if you are not a Christian, this book does give some smart practical advice if you want to find a decent partner to live your life with. unless you are someone like Nietzsche, I think anyone who has read this book will agree with the point that Mally does give some solid and practical dating advice. the author does pull a few unexpected tricks showing how people can create emotional bonds without realizing it. don't sleep with too many people, look for respect and someone who seeks harmony among all members of the family for a 99.9% chance of unbreakable stability (99.9% because, let's face it, nothing ever stays in one state forever) or your money back guaranteed.
I'd give this book to a thirteen year old or someone who does not read often. do not read this book hoping for enlightenment if you've been in successful relationships either, you probably already know what you are doing and don't need to waste your time. I came across this book because a friend recommended I read it and I was curious. I thought I might find something useful in this book, I was disappointed and disgusted.
gack. this was a piece of cheese, aged beyond good taste! if you are a person who likes reading books with intricate plot, cutting dialogue or anything that qualifies as "good" writing, stay away from this one. I couldn't finish this book (I stopped 3/4th's of the way through) because I felt like I was slowly doing two things: loosing brain cells and having the remaining pieces of my analytic skills smooshed into some kind of mass that only recognizes Disney fairy tales and cotton candy as reality.
let it be known that I found this..."book" revolting but I will mention a few of it's redeeming qualities.
[SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT] "Before Prince Charming" unravels by rotating chapter by chapter a story of princess' problems in courtship and a down-to-Earth commentary by Ms. Mally. as the book progresses, we learn through the princess' choices the consequences of impatience but also the benefits of listening to our parent's advice.
even if you are not a Christian, this book does give some smart practical advice if you want to find a decent partner to live your life with. unless you are someone like Nietzsche, I think anyone who has read this book will agree with the point that Mally does give some solid and practical dating advice. the author does pull a few unexpected tricks showing how people can create emotional bonds without realizing it. don't sleep with too many people, look for respect and someone who seeks harmony among all members of the family for a 99.9% chance of unbreakable stability (99.9% because, let's face it, nothing ever stays in one state forever) or your money back guaranteed.
I'd give this book to a thirteen year old or someone who does not read often. do not read this book hoping for enlightenment if you've been in successful relationships either, you probably already know what you are doing and don't need to waste your time. I came across this book because a friend recommended I read it and I was curious. I thought I might find something useful in this book, I was disappointed and disgusted.
July 11, 2015
I read this book several years ago and it really helped me out. Where I was in my life it is what I needed. Yes! I am a homeschooler and I am somewhat sheltered and Yes! It is more geared for my type. I think that Sarah Mally did a great job and even if you aren't homeschooler, sheltered, or any of the above, it is still good to see other people's perspectives! Everyone has an opinion and my opinion is that young ladies should be careful and should let there parents know what there love life is like. Your father is your best bet to pick your spouse and I don't think that your father can actually pick one for you! I think that the young lady should get the finally say. Check out Betrothed by Hayovel and it will open your eyes to a new way of letting your parents have the reigns and you have the final decision! God is a God of love, but he gave you parents!! So listen to your parents and hey! They have lived much longer than you and are wiser;)
November 14, 2010
This was a wonderful book! Sarah Mally, is trying to address how instead of getting yourself immersed in boys and dreaming about your own "happily ever after" romance, you could be using your time as the Lord would want you to. It talks about how you should wait upon the Lord and he will bring your and your Prince Charming together when HE is ready. Not You. It is full of amazing suggestions, ideas, and scriptures, and lots more! to help illustrate her point, she has a princess theme going and at the beginning of each chapter you read part of a princess story. Altogether this is an amazing book for all Teenage girls 12 and up. I Loved this book.
August 7, 2017
Although I appreciated Sarah Mally's genuine sweetness and sincerity, I wasn't very impressed with this book. To be honest, it seems more aimed at the "skirts-only" SAHD girls, which I cannot relate to at all, than the larger percent of modern Christian teen girls.
She has several good points, I'll give her that. But the whole focus of her book seemed to be the strong patriarchy view; the "daddy is perfect, above all else, next to God, and should be the dictator over my heart and relationships" thing.
I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Someone can correct me if they wish.
She has several good points, I'll give her that. But the whole focus of her book seemed to be the strong patriarchy view; the "daddy is perfect, above all else, next to God, and should be the dictator over my heart and relationships" thing.
I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Someone can correct me if they wish.
March 7, 2011
This is an excellent book for young ladies looking forward to and preparing for marriage. Sarah Mally gives solid encouragement for ways in which we can guard our hearts and serve our Heavenly Father during our unmarried years, and she encourages girls not to just "wait" for Prince Charming, but to be fruitful in this exciting time of our lives as we grow closer to the Lord and serve others.
Read
August 4, 2011Was actually surprised by this book. Part of the book is really "cheesy" but the way it was written gets the author's point across clearly. I liked that her focus of the book was on using your life to serve God, and to depend your happiness on him alone. There were only a few small things in the book I disagreed with, but overall it was very good.
March 23, 2011
This was a really good book. Unlike most books about purity this book is discreet enough to give to a 10 year old, but it is written in a way that it still applies to a 20 year old. A must read for every girl/woman desiring a godly marriage.
Read
September 14, 2019I read this so many years ago when my reading material consisted of what was on my family's shelves, so I'm quite curious to see what my take would be on it now that I'm much older, been gallivanting through life beyond book pages and, well, mostly that I'm older haha
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