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Jade

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My Autobiography

Paperback

First published May 2, 2006

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Jade Goody

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
Profile Image for Shirley Revill.
1,197 reviews286 followers
October 20, 2017
Inspirational and very sad. Made me reach for the tissues. Recommended.
2,784 reviews9 followers
November 16, 2012
Wasn't really looking forward to this book in my to read pile as i was never keen on her when i seen her on tv as she always seemed really cocky and loud mouthed but the actual truth of her life was pretty shocking.
She didn't have the best childhood or life in general really and swung from one problem to the next even if it wasn't of her own making, was a very interesting read and i really enjoyed this and shows that what you see on tv etc is not always what lies behind the person and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
Well worth reading.
Profile Image for Mark Farley.
Author 52 books25 followers
July 31, 2013
If there was one celebrity biography that passed through the doors of the book shop I worked in that had annoyed me so much in 2007, it would have been this one. What frustrated me the most was the sheer arrogance on behalf of the publisher of packaging this book as an autobiography, when clearly it is not.

HarperCollins knew this (and graced her with a ‘low six figure advance’) but still they give us the false impression that she is an author from her product for the pleasure. They even have the word ‘autobiography’ on the cover. It doesn’t bother me that they have had so much help, but they don’t even list the person who has done all the writing on the title page or within the copyright, just thanked in the awknowledgments. Authors have thanked me in the same place in a book before and I didn’t once put pen to paper.

It seems like someone (or in this case, Heat editor Lucie Cave) got a raw deal as her words (mostly scripted kind ones at that) have been passed off as something else. In the world of pub management and licensing law, the term ‘passing off’ is just that and is against the law. So why do publishers get away with it?

The book has no typos, which if anything, is a bit of a disappointment. With Jade we want the isms and the things that made her the beautiful retard she was so successful at, but they were all edited by the ghost writer, to the point where this is just some nobody. But to be honest, this book is designed to catch the eye of those who only go into bookshops to buy cards anyway.
To those who have suggested that Jade was talentless and hadn’t acheived anything worthy of a biography, I say poo-poo. She’s been rolling joints for her mum since she was four years old. I still can’t do that properly.

“Bermondsey was quite a racist place to grow up.”

Really? Please, do tell...

I’m only on Chapter Two and the four year old Jade has aided and abetted in a fraud investigation and helped conceal drugs during a police raid. Nice.

But it is all drama for Jade in her early life. It’s like reading the script for an episode of Eastenders or more appropriately, Shameless. She said this and he said that, and she turned around and said you’re this and he’s that, she said this and he did that but then he turned around and said....

“I truly believe that my mum made me person I am today, and I think I am a great mum.”

Jade’s relationship with her now famous, or is that infamous mother, thanks to the exposure she has garnered through her daughter’s continuing ventures into reality television and more recently, documentaries. She even thought it was a great idea to take her and her witless boyfriend into the Celebrity version of Big Brother a few years later. Less said about that car crash, the better.

Jade admits that it has been a tough road with her mother. After being involved in a bike smash with her brother and Jackiey was paralysed in her left arm (he was killed), she became frustrated and lashed out upon her daughter after befalling into her care.

“It was later discovered that this kerb had been built too far out in the road, which meant the council were at fault.”

At fault they were, or at least they thought they were as they paid out a huge windfall to Jade and her mum, in the thousands. The fact that it is not mentioned if Jade’s ‘Uncle Budgie’ was either trained or licensed to ride the bike he borrowed from a friend, curiously remains unmentioned.

Because of Jackiey’s frustrations and violence to her daughter, there was a time when the young Jade was taken from the Budden bosom and sent to live with a family in the countryside. I would tell you where but Jade can’t be arsed to remember. A small fact or loss of fact that you will see a number of times over the consequent chapters.

During that stay, the young Budden/Goody endured the worst kind of torture and victimisation at the hands of the foster family, the made her drink.... milk.

“She told me the milk was good for me and didn’t seem to understand that I hated it and that drinking it was like the worst form of punishment. The family made me wear long socks too.”

This puts Dave Pelzer’s life into context, doesn’t it? I think this is why The Gap thrives so well in war-torn areas, the demand for gym socks for violence. I’m sorry Jade, you had something else to say?

“I don’t like milk, it makes me feel sick. Even now, just the smell of it makes me want to vomit and it brings back visions of that family and them forcing me to do things that I didn’t want to do.”

Yeah, like... learning. Chapter Four opens...

“I remember when I first got pubes.”

I shut the book and looked around the room at the people I work with.

Jesus. “Errr... guys?”

They all looked up at me.

“Can I read you something out and get your opinion?” I asked. They unwittingly all mumbled a polite awknowledgment. I’m like, ‘tell me what you think of this’ and continue,

“I was about 11 or 12 and I was in the bath washing. I left the door open as I usually did when it was just me and Mum in the house, so Mum came in to ask me something. When she clocked them she leant over with the razor and shaved them into a heart shape."

Ewwww, the girls went. The two guys present chuckled. I said to them,

“Do you think that something is wrong with that?”

I got the expected “Isn’t her Mum a lesbian?” and “That’s sick?” but I thought about it and thought about it. I realise that the comfort and acceptability zones between a mother and daughter are very much different to those between a father and son, but I kinda wondered whether this would be allowed in the book if it was a male/male relationship they had. But saying that, I know for a fact if this was say... David Beckham or Robbie Williams or Dale Winton, we wouldn’t have even been able to read that little nugget at all.

I think it says a lot about working class gender politics in this country, if nothing else. The way Jade “writes” about her mother shaving her pubis with non-chalance really makes you either wonder whether she was the bi-product of a psycho-sexual, ritualistic upbringing or whether too stupid in their mis-inappropriation of their every day lives together.

I go back later to my ‘Jade’s Pubes’ chapter and I’m reading more about her pubes and I’m reading and I’m reading and I get to another choice paragraph heading,

“Danny was the first boy I wanked off.”

I rub my tembles and close the book again. This is harder than I first thought.

The council eventually paid out and the mother and daughter did what any impoverished mother and daughter would do with an amount of money large enough to pull them away from the poverty line forever, they spent it in a matter of months on trips around the world.

Around this time (just before her Big Brother stint), Jade is arrested and sentenced to two years Probation after being caught shoplifting clothes in Selfridges.

“I vowed there and then never to do it again.”

That was true until late 2005, probably when she was working on this book still (Oh, that’s right, someone else wrote it for her) and she was then arrested at Asda for walking out with an unpaid chavvy denim jacket.

She blames it on the cashier at the end of the book and to which she had a good mind to go back and nick another twenty things for the ordeal she had to go through.

For a moment, she’s actually quite adorable as the build up to her entry into the Big Brother House commences. Cave has taken the dullness of this scence and muldrum process and created a wonderful anticipation and seems to have made something quite precious from what seems to be the inane ramblings of her subject, and acheiving what is actually a rarified and if somewhat batty and touching display of glee and excitement.

That is until Page 123 and she openly admits being a bit of a bully towards the other housemates and I am past caring again. Jade was fully prepared for her stint in Borehamwood,

“If I’m being realistic, I didn’t know what £70,000 was. I knew it was a lot, but I didn’t know how much. I didn’t know you could buy a house with it or anything.”

Her appearence in the house highlighted for the first time how manipulation and editing plays an essential part in the Big Brother format. It was clear that they changed their initial image of Jade of one of ridicule to one of support and victimisation, enabling the ex-dental nurse to go all the way to the end. The reaction of Graham Norton and how he flip-flopped publicy and on his show about Jade was a perfect example of how easy it is to be duped. Once the media came round, so did the public and she came out a hero, despite being initially villified.

A real focus of the second half of the book is her relationship with Jeff Brazier, a lesser known reality TV contestant from another show, who was too, deemed worthy of being represented by Jade’s agent because he’d been seen with me, innit and you never know if he could get a bit of TV work innit cuz he ain’t bad to look at. This very basic cuckolding within their union was something Jade never let Jeff forget.

“Everytime he pissed me off or upset me I’d throw the money card back in his face. I was nasty to him and I’ve got an evil tongue. I’d hit him right where I knew it would hurt him the most.”

Jeff himself wrote in The People newspaper about Jade,

"She started hitting me about a year ago. When she goes, she really goes and just loses it. Then there's no controlling Jade. I've never come out with more than a scratch before but that doesn't mean it's not violence. Some of her verbal assaults have left me in tears. Living with her has been like living with two different people. One is the Jade I fell in love with, the most loving and generous person. But she also has a darker side and can be extremely aggressive."

She’s adorable really, honest. No she is, you just have to get to know her. Not letting this affect his stature within accepted circles, Jeff then felt the need to not just have one, but two babies with Jade.

“I’d get violent too. I’d hit him. I was so aggresive. But you see, I didn’t know how to be anything else. All my other relationships were fuelled by violence so I didn’t know how else to behave.”

Oh, come on. Stop making excuses.

To be fair to Jade, she admits that she behaved appalingly towards the father of her children. But if this open forum and manifesto for every major relationship she has ever had in her long 24 years is an indication of what life is like Chez Goody, I don’t expect Brad Pitt to show up, as she ponders towards the end of the book. But its not all bad, Jade is warm and fuzzy too,

“I’m still trying to convince Jeff that I haven’t got a temper anymore. I used to love having an arguement and feeling like I was the winner in a fight, but I know that’s not the answer now. Maybe I’ve grown up.”

Touching as I’m sure you will agree. Jade there finally wearing her heart on her sleeve (shame she will lose her shirt soon) and admitting her mistakes, proving that she can be a better person.

12 Months later of course, well we all saw it on the news around the world.
Ok, that was the one time and it was a stressful situation. I agree. Yes, she is a lot calmer these days. She has grown up. Tell us about your fellow celebrities in the Big Brother panto show.

Mel from the first Big Brother?

“contradicting little cock”

Kitten from Big Brother 5?

“arsehole”

Anoushka from the year before?

“Jealous little bitch”

She also told other housemates in the Back to Reality show that she wanted to “knock that fat cunt out” about ex- Pop Idol contestant Rik Waller, a threat she first echoed to another contestant in the Big Brother house in 2002. I guess not much has changed after all, but that (amongst other things) is probably what she adressed at her recent stint in The Priory. Well, the few days she attended before she quit.

Towards the end of the book, Jade is opening her salon, Ugly’s in Hertford. A long term venture with one of her friends, something she’s always wanted to do, because face facts, she ain’t going to be around forever. I mean, anything could happen that could jeopardise a career, couldn’t it?

“Thank God Carly is the manager and not me. I work there too, but I’m not the most reliable of people. But hey, I’ve put in £10,000 of my own money, so it had better work.”

It didn’t. She has since said since the book’s release that the salon didn’t close through debt, a club bought the property upstairs and would be a concern for the business. Unless Ugly’s were taking bookings at 1am (which I doubt somehow), I think Jade is making excuses. For some reason the star’s appeal didn’t transcend to the industry and people stayed away after the thought of getting their pubic hair in the shape of a heart from Jade. Or her mum. That, and her prices were too high, reportedly.

Jade has moved on though and recently it has been reported that Jade and her latest beau, Jack Tweed (a 19 year old trainee football agent) are expecting Jade’s third child. It has been reported that it is Jack, but I do wonder.

“I want my kids to have the same dad, so if I ever have another kid I’d want to use Jeff’s sperm.”

HarperCollins sold 120,000 copies of this in hardback, an incredible acheivement. Granted, this was all from the one store in Bluewater and paid with by the card of a Ms. J. Budden, but that’s not the point. Goody has transcended indeed her Big Brother contestant role, considering that in more recent times, books by past winners of the regular and celebrity shows have both tanked. Chantelle’s book sank without a trace, even parodied on national television in front of her boyfriend and the Pete book has since been rejacketed for paperback in the style of a dark misery memoir, rejecting its own initial celebrity cover.

But Jade’s success is because of the great marketing and commitment of her agent John Noel Associates, who represent a number of Big Brother faces and through them the commitment to Jade’s exposure from the tabloid magazines, especially one in particular, which is coincidentally the one our ghost writer here works for.

Jade (for her sins and fortune) was just the right stupid, easy to mould, character at the right time. Everything she has acheived (or not as the case has become) is purely down to luck. That and her continual, offending mouth.

By the time she was in negotiations with a publisher, she had become a marketable force through a shrewdly planned campaign to keep her and her life in the media, an effort which is desperately hanging onto the fraying drawbridge with the vast canyon below her.

The fundamental problem with this book though (aswell as the random sporadity of the experiences) I feel and I guess with the genre is that it lends itself very well to the likes of misery memoirs in terms of its heartfelt goal and the experiences they are trying to put across. Unfortunately when the subject doesn’t even put pen to paper, you begin to doubt the sincerity of the words and the message, which is a shame because the book is touching and sad. You want to believe all of the madcap torture and trauma Jade has been through in life and her attempts at being pensive throughout the writing, but feel like you can’t because of her lack of input into the project.

If nowhere else, you see Cave’s creativity pour out in the insightful epilogue with (quite outrageously) has the nerve to start,

“I sit staring at the sky sometimes and it makes me cry.”

Honestly, what do you take us for.

We all know the rest of the story. She took Tweed and her mother back into the house, caused an international incident when she bullied an Indian actress, to the point they had to escort her out of the house without a crowd, in fear for her life. She laid low for a while and ended up dying (very publicy) of cancer and everyone subsequently forgot about how much of a horrible person she was. The end.
Profile Image for Raquel.
1,332 reviews41 followers
August 25, 2017
Já andava para comprar este livro há já algum tempo, e descobri-o à venda por 1 euro no Media Market e disse que tinha que aproveitar. E não me arrependo. Quem me conhece sabe que gosto de ler biografias, seja de quem for, e da Jade foi um dos exemplos. Desde o momento em que descobre que tem a doença até ao momento em que decidi que está farta dos tratamentos e que pretende acabar o resto dos seus dias junto da sua família. É um livro triste, e emocionei-me algumas vezes. Não recomendo para quem tem corações sensíveis.

http://aviciadadoslivros.blogspot.pt/...
Profile Image for Mhargreaves.
22 reviews
June 30, 2011
Why you may say, would an English Teacher read this???
I am also a Media Teacher, and whether you like her or not, she did make the most of what the media had to offer her, ie. fame and fortune.
I didn't know a lot about Jade, as I am not a fan; although I enjoyed the book. The reason I rated the book a 3, was for two reasons.
1. It was written by a ghost writer, although it does maintain Jade's voice
2. Slightly repetetive in places
On the plus side, she has had an interesting life that is well worth reading about.
Profile Image for amy hardy.
12 reviews1 follower
July 4, 2016
Where to start? This is the most emotional but inspirational book I have read. Having had a personal experience with cervical cells I was moved by how much of an inspiration jade was to everyone around her even in her during days.
I would encourage anyone to read this however not when pregnant as I was a wreak reading it.
Truly honoured to of read this book and got to know a bit of jades story. She was an amazing woman and her campaign still goes on.
Profile Image for Gemma.
208 reviews54 followers
August 9, 2016
To be honest, I am quite embarrassed that I have read this. I borrowed it from a friend as something to read on a train journey years ago (i'd forgotten a book) It was ok, I didn't particularly like Jade, she had an interesting childhood so it was readable and I was disappointed to find out that it was written by a ghost writer too.
Profile Image for Kim.
2,120 reviews64 followers
February 17, 2016
Such a sad book- obviously knowing the outcome makes the diary entries even more poignant. Such a young girl. Another book picked up in the pound shop.
Profile Image for Haylee.
265 reviews6 followers
Read
July 27, 2011
loved reading this book.but very sad.
Profile Image for Sara .
567 reviews5 followers
January 8, 2012
I loved it, because I was always a Jade Goody fan, she is fantastic, the only thing is that the book makes me sad :(
Profile Image for Lindz Milligan.
57 reviews
Read
July 7, 2014
I loved this book, so what if it was written by a ghost writer.

It was hilarious in places and so very sad in others. I loved jade and was so very sad when she died.
Profile Image for Lauren.
253 reviews4 followers
September 9, 2019
You either loved her or hated her but I was already on the love side when I bought this. I always found her interesting and this book didn't disappoint. She is definitely for me inspiring as after her cancer diagnosis she tried to make sure women knew how important it was to get cervical screenings. She died before I had my first one and that definitely had an impact as I make sure I have mine as soon as I can. I really enjoyed this book and I thought it's a very honest account.
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