Tell Me About It: Lying, Sulking, Getting Fat... and 56 Other Things Not to Do While Looking for Love

by Carolyn Hax

As an advice columnist for The Washington Post, Carolyn Hax has gained a fanatically loyal following in print, online, and over the airwaves with a very direct, humorous take on matters of the heart. As the number of people seeking her advice surged she began to notice certain recurring dilemmas and snags in the accounts of affairs gone wrong. As she puts it, "The letters I receive form a virtual catalogue of the most counterproductive ways to interact with other human beings. Not just romantically either; platonically, too, and professionally, parentally, and every-otherly." With this in mind she has put together a handbook of some of the most common mistakes made during the pursuit of love. Some of the Don'
- Be desperate, seem desperate, or even stand next to a desperate person without a protective suit
- Start sentences with, "I'm the type of person who..."
- Shop online
- Scan the room for better prospects while we're talking to you
- Stockpile porn
- Have sex before you mean it
- Rule out the possibility that you might always be single
- Look for love
- Read relationship books

Genres: Nonfiction

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 10, 2001

Reviews

[Douglas Larson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have followed Carolyn Hax's column for quite a few years. I like her insights into relationships and practical solutions for dealing with what comes up.

So I chose to read this book to see what insights she might reveal. I found that while the prose style has Hax's wit and humor, the format of the book was too disjointed for my liking. Its simply a collections of ideas and solutions for situations that come up while dating. She does present good points and if you have never read any of Hax's columns this book may be an enjoyable read. But since I am quite familiar with her style and thinking on the human experience I found it something of a disappointment.

[Mary Ellin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m a huge fan of Carolyn Hax and her columns in The Washington Post (Carolyn Hax and Michelle Singletary are the only good things left in The Post). This book, published in 2001, is not Hax at her best - her writing and advice have vastly improved over the years to become truly exceptional. Still, this early book is nevertheless quite good - the Hax wit and common sense are all there. Anyone thinking of writing to an advice columnist about relationship woes would do themselves (and Hax) a favor by reading this book first. Now, I’m still waiting for Hax’s new book, a collection of her most popular columns over the years, especially the many columns that have nothing to do with dating and instead are about all the other relationship issues we all face (with neighbors, friends, coworkers, other relatives, etc.). What’s taking so long? The material is there, just publish it already!

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one is 15 years old, but we found it in a used bookstore. Hax is still publishing her advice column, "Tell Me About It," and for my money she transcends the genre with her wisdom, wit, and writing style. This book presents 59 nuggets of her philosophy about relationships, and it makes for a breezy read.

There isn't much earth-shaking stuff here, but it did inspire me to quit playing video games for a few months and read more.

All of us should aspire as friends to Hax's level of clarity, profundity, and honesty.

[Niki Haworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best relationship advice books EVER. Good for people (of either gender) who are already in as well as seeking relationships.

Carolyn Hax is more than just a hip Dear Abby/Ann Landers. Where they soft-pedal their advice, Ms. Hax cuts straight to the point. Each chapter begins withn an excerpt from her advice column (it appears in the Washington Post) that's relevant to the chapeter's topic; the chapter then consists of her advice on said letter/topic. My favorite chapter: "Believing for a Second the Person You're Cheating With is Going to Dump the Spouse and Marry You and Live Happily Ever After and Never Cheat Again." Yes that is quite possibly the longest chapter title ever, but what makes it superbly awesome is the ENTIRE text of the chapter itself consists of one word: "Please."

And there are 57 other equally funny (and wise) chapters. How can you go wrong?

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Carolyn Hax's advice column, so when I found out she had written a book, I thought it would be pretty great. I also assumed it would be reprinted questions and answers from her column, but instead it's 56 pieces of advice for single people. It's probably good advice, but the tone is way more smug and snappish than her current column. She uses the word "slut" a few times, which is a huge turn-off for me. My advice: read Carolyn Hax's current column, not this book.

[Lex Dee · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I found some of the advice helpful and eye opening, I knew most of the others.

I thought the author was a little forceful/rude/opinionated about people who are reading self help books on dating. Very judgmental toward her target audience just looking for some brush ups on their dating game.

[Chrissy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading Carolyn Hax's column during the summer of 1998 when I was living in DC. Back then, she was only 3 days a week, but now she's daily, and syndicated in other papers as well. This book was written when she was still married to her first husband and still in the DC area. It's full of practical advice with Judge Judy-like bluntness mixed with humor and common sense. A very quick read that's full of sound advice that puts it all in perspective.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Can't say I didn't like it; it was just like reading one of her columns, which I read obsessively. But there wasn't much more to it than the columns, and in fact it had less concrete specifics, and therefore maybe there was less to it. It actually read like what it was--a really funny advice columnist saying, "For crying out loud, how many times do I have to tell you people?"

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is a good book for single people to read. It has a lot of obvious pieces of advice but also some other things people lose sight of when they are "looking for love". Recommended by my therapist... Who for some reason is always right about love.

[Crystal · Rating 2 out of 5]

i didnt realize this book was actually written by an advice columnist until i read it. i kinda just expected it to be a humorous take on finding love. it had some nice tips and everything was totally true.

[Irene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tell-it-like-it-is columnist writing a book about sex (and love) in the city. Hmmm.

Very practical advice actually. The answers we don't want to see are always the most obvious and logical ones. or, call it the Occam's Razor of love advice.

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun and some good advice.

[Sarah McCauley · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite advice columnist