A painful and almost unreadable Andy Cohen book that really doesn't work--simplistic statements about typical things his kids do mixed with bragging about them while he juggles his various work duties and the men that he beds. There's almost nothing worth publishing here about his children, who act normally while he either thinks they're geniuses or complains about parenting them. He mixes that with outlandish sexual statements, lots of inappropriate cruising and porn, leaving me feeling like based on all the trashy things he admitted happened around his small kids that Children Protective Services of New York should be called.
It should have cut most of the daddy stuff out--a simple star-studded sequel to his much better Andy Cohen Diaries would have been more interesting. And it's not a total washout. There are some good stories about celebs or the ways Cohen is over-sensitive to criticism (he gets a lot of it and it's well deserved). He also slams some things that need it, like Howard Stern's radio nonsense, Diane Sawyer's interview with Matthew Perry, and admitting White Lotus was "boring." (Yes!) But he later waffles on most of his celebrity slams by saying something nice, and most of those "stories" or opinions are undeveloped in order to dedicate more space to the boring homelife.
If you've ever had a child you'll roll your eyes at the ridiculous things he includes that try to make everyday things sound significant. (I'm paraphrasing here) "I came home and Ben asked me if I would tickle him. It just warmed my heart!" Okay, big deal. "Ben watched Sesame Street in bed with me while I played games on my phone under the covers." So you think that's good parenting? "Ben yelled when he woke up that 'the sun is up' and I had to tell him that doesn't necessarily mean we have to start our day." Way to reason with a two-year-old, dad. "I'm starting to finally watch Disney movies with Ben that I've never seen before and I LOVED Moana." Seriously? That's the one you pick as your favorite?
The problem is that Cohen mixes these unnecessary comments in with his star-studded namedropping, late night carousing, and even a few of his sexual partners (though now that he has a family he doesn't give many details of his hookups). Often a single paragraph will skip back and forth between children and very adult topics. It is unsettling to see him complain about changing diapers one minute and lust after a hot waiter or gym trainer the next.
There are also many confusing parts where Cohen assumes we know what he's writing about in his single-sentence summaries that are mixed in among the other stream-of-consciousness ramblings. We don't. It was hard to keep track of all the names he kept tossing around, and he intentionally doesn't include the last names or full names of some of his famous friends. I also had to look up a lot of things online page-by-page because I had no idea what or who he was referencing.
This book doesn't know what it wants to be--it's certainly not a parenting guide or observational humor; if anything it proves how clueless Cohen is at raising his kids. Even when he knows that too much television is bad for them he'll stick Ben in front of Sesame Street for a couple hours--has Andy never seen the research on how Sesame Street ISN'T that great for young children and that there are many other better options out there? Or that limiting your child to less one hour of television a day is the only way to keep the medium from negatively impacting them?
And what about the fact that Cohen writes he's "proud of" three-year-old Ben for wanting to watch Madonna music videos?! Seriously?!
Maybe this man who made his fortune off TV simply doesn't care. He comes across as the most self-centered, immoral parent ever.
Ironically a couple of times in the book he mentions that he would never do a reality TV show about his own life or that he wants to shield his kids from the medium. Andy has seen firsthand what television can do to people and claims he doesn't want his family to turn out that way--but he rarely does a good job policing it at home.
The mixture of adult material with children around is concerning. At Ben's third Frozen-themed birthday party Cohen serves wine to the adults, including the nannies, which seems inappropriate (I've been to dozens of little children's birthday parties and never seen alcohol of any kind served). The fact that a gay single New York City elitist has no problem raising two children on the music of the Grateful Dead while daddy partakes of his weed or THC before he has a lover in for an alcoholic "nightcap" should cause major concerns in our society. But what it will end up doing is endearing him to the "average" Bravo viewers struggling with their families that don't have his money, celebrity pals or many child caretakers.
Meanwhile he defends himself against any criticism and promotes his leftist agenda on his "platform" of Watch What Happens Live (which is supposed to be an entertainment show focused on the guests, not pushing Andy Cohen's personal sexual agenda). When he gets on a rant about something like the Florida law that allows parents to have control over what's appropriate sex education for elementary children, he fails to see that not only is that also protecting liberal parents from conservative beliefs being indoctrinated but Cohen doesn't live in Florida, doesn't have a kid in that age group yet, and I highly doubt he'll be sending Ben to public school. So while he's welcome to his poorly thought-through opinion and can teach his son whatever he wants at home, he doesn't really know what he's talking about on this and other issues.
Andy calls people "lunatics" and other nasty politically incorrect names when they criticize him, such as when he supports exposing very young public schoolchildren to adult sexuality, which he mirrors in his home life. The guy has almost no appropriate boundaries beyond putting Ben to bed and threatening him to not come out of his room while daddy hosts plenty of different men into the late night. The more his well-meaning traditional parents tell him to shape the up the more rebellious he gets. How can such an unethical Deadhead come from such good parents? Isn't he getting too old to act like a drug-induced slut? Doesn't he understand he has to change in order to raise quality children?
The man's incredible amount of drug dependency is shocking, especially when the kids are around. At one point he defends his use of drugs around the kids and thinks it's a good coping mechanism as a parent! He does the same with alcohol and he's not alone--Ben's pre-school open house has wine for the adults!
He spends much of the book bitching about having to take care of kids, claiming mistreatment by the system since he is the rare "single dad," and has the audacity to say in a conversation with another rich single gay dad in the Hamptons that they work harder at parenting than straight or two-parent households! Is he nuts? Cohen sees his kids for less than an hour or two on an average day, travels the world without them, has a couple of nannies and other babysitters that really raise the children, and of course juggles three multimillion-dollar homes (yes, he bought a third during the writing of this book). For him to claim he has it worse that other parents is simply delusional. After reading this I honestly believe that Andy Cohen has serious mental health issues.
He lacks logic and intelligence when it comes to his political rants, feels he needs to demean and insult those he disagrees with loudly despite his speeches that promote "tolerance" and "diversity." In truth he's one of the most intolerant guys on TV when anything conservative/Republican/Christian comes up, and his Real Housewife shows are perfect examples of misusing women and minorities as pawns to make him lots of money.
As you read on it hits you that he over-abundantly manipulates the women in his life to achieve his self-centered goals, make him rich, and keep him from having to take full responsibility for the difficult things, including his children. It's almost to the point of abuse and unclear why all these women, from TV staff to babysitters to social friends to Real Housewives, allow Cohen to get away with the mistreatment. His drug dependency, drinking problem, porn addiction, and sleeping around with random strangers are being enabled by the females in his life, many of whom depend on him for their salaries or self-esteem.
And for anyone that thinks his TV shows or lifestyle choices are progress for women or minorities, I'd love to sit down and explain how to use critical thinking skills to analyze his media. Everyone seems to overlook all the signs of the abuse because of his cutesy, self-effacing gay persona, but Nene Leakes was one of the rare ones to use her head and make public what was really going on when she filed that lawsuit (later withdrawn). I could go through every page he wrote to push back on his warped thinking and choices that make him feel good but hurt others. Consider what that mindset and influence is doing to his kids.
The subtitle of the book is "The Year I Grew Up," but in truth he's still that wild, raunchy kid at heart whose own young children might have more common sense than he does. Can't wait for Cohen's book imprimatur to publish "The Benny Diaries," which is certain to be more mature, sophisticated, and well written than this.