Crush

by Carrie Mac

Because of a moment of indiscretion, Hope’s parents send her to New York to spend the summer with her hipster sister while they travel to Thailand. Miserable, Hope ends up meeting Nat, and developing a powerful crush. The only problem is that Nat is a girl. Hope is pretty sure she isn’t gay. Or is she? Struggling with new feelings, fitting in and a strange city far from home, Hope finds that love—and acceptance—comes in many different forms.

Genres: Young Adult, LGBT, Romance, Queer, Lesbian, Fiction, Contemporary

112 pages, Library Binding

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

Four-eyed bookworm, tattooed queer, storyteller nomad mama to two unschooled earthlings, based in East Van, overlooking the shipyard cranes and always ready for the next most amazing giant tiny little big wonderful something to capture my attention.

Or:

When Carrie Mac was born, her right eye gawked off in one direction while her left eye looked the other way. Well meaning adults thought she was a changeling and so they wrapped her up and put her on the porch for the fairies to take back, please and thank you. It was snowing. It was dark. No fairies came. The same well meaning adults decided she'd catch her death out there. So they brought her in and kept her after all.

She's read millions of books, and has sat happily at the feat of a legion of storytellers. She is equally fascinated by disaster and grace. car wrecks, hurricanes, plagues, and genocides on the one hand, small and stunning everyday miracles on the other. She sometimes wishes she were a pirate. She'd often wished she'd run away and joined the circus when she had the chance. She spends a great deal of time in the company of her imagination, and when she isn't, she's wide eyed and awed by this planet and the people running amok all over it.

Reviews

[Corrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I decided to tackle my to-read list from the top and not the bottom for a change. After cleaning out some titles I put there in 2016 but am not likely to read anytime soon (if ever), I chose Crush by Carrie Mack. It a short story (106 pages) about a girl named Hope, product of hippie parents who travel to Thailand for 3 months to build a school. Hope and her dog Daisy fly to New York to stay with her older sister and her boyfriend. In New York she meets Nat and develops a serious crush on her. Hope had no idea she could get feelings for another girl.

An entertaining, light read with a cute young adult couple.

f/f they kiss

Themes: New York City, older sister, parents are hippies, vegan, lesbian power couple with twins, coming out.

4 Stars

[Nance · Rating 5 out of 5]

A perfect new tale for all New Yorkers! Believe me, you know have to be a book-nerd to find your way through this New York traveling map. Simply step on Carrie Mac’s Crush and track the footsteps Hope left behind when living her life one step at a time—with some go straight ahead, and some turning and some merry-go-around.
Not knowing whether it’s lucky or unfortunate, Hope was sent to New York by her parents while they set off to Thailand—her duration for the summer break. It was time for her to experience the beauty of romance and the indifference of love rather than hate. It sure is miserable enough for poor young Hope when she developed a true yet forceful crush. Sounds quite romantic right?! Want to move on right?! It’s simple to start because it’s easy to end such a book. Why?
You wouldn’t be questioning if you know that Nat is a girl…Yes, a girl. Some might think it’s normal, or it’s no big deal. True, but in the case of this story…What’s the heart-break and breath-taking if there’s no challenges or any sort of difficulties to a relationship—especially ones in which the present society hasn’t fully accept. So what if Hope is pretty sure that Nat’s not gay? What does that have to do with Nat being a girl? Or one might also question how does that changes the fact that Nat is a girl? And that if Hope really loves her, then how will others view this lovely couple.
These are exactly some key principles to Hope’s decision on this love. Besides having to cope with this new yet concerning romance, the confusing feeling, facing hardships with fitting in in a city that’s not near home, all these build tension. And these are one of many main aspects of a novel that incorporates salty tears that washes Hope’s face when in her every personal corner—you might call it “space.
By the time one—you—find that love, acceptance, reality takes different forms in performing in a life—or between a pair of lover—is it too late? Is there still time, any chance, any opportunity, to make the impossible to possible. Or twist the blocked path into a break away to start a new journey? Wait, and see for yourself. Obviously your views, personal ideology might differ, but it’s still very touching and heartbreaking. I say that nothing’s quite predictable unless you lived it or at least bared some witness to other’s single story.

[Lady Olenna · Rating 3 out of 5]

hmmm

Ok wow this was very very short. I mean, it’s a good story for a short one. Coming out of the closet.

[Walter Underwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a "high low" book, a high interest book that is easy to read. It is novella length, so a pretty fast read.

For me, this was pretty short. I borrowed it on a recommendation from the Paly library blog, but it only lasted 45 minutes of my hour and a quarter urgent care wait. Then we were in the exam room for another hour. Dang.

Hope goes to Brooklyn, meets a girl and kisses her. She has fallen into a job as a nanny for well-off lesbians with twins and her parents are quirky but open-minded hippies, so the major drama is her own shock at wanting to kiss a girl. It pretty much stops after a kiss and a trip to Coney Island, and her parents approving of her girlfriend, even though she's headed back to the west coast at the end of the summer. I would like to know if Nat is taller than Hope (which matters when you kiss).

I guess I'm happy that teen lesbian romance books exist at all reading levels. I think I'm happier that there is still a reason to for kids to read Annie on my Mind.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

In one my classes someone gave a presentation on YA books for reluctant readers. She highly recommended the Orca Soundings series because they're short books about things teens are interested in, and are also well-written. After reading Crush by Carrie Mac (which I read in less than an hour), I have to agree.

Hope is the 17-year-old daughter of hippie parents sent to live with her bitter cokehead sister in Brooklyn over the summer while her parents celebrate their 30th anniversary by building a school in Thailand. Hope quickly makes friends in Brooklyn, including an intriguing girl named Nat. Could what Hope's feeling actually be a crush .... on a girl?

Crush deals with questions of teenage sexuality in a healthy way. Rather than focusing on whether or not it's right or wrong to be gay, the book focuses on Hope figuring out what she really wants and just how strong her feelings actually are. it also discusses her past relationships with boys in a frank, mature way.

Other books in the Orca Soundings series cover topics gang violence, playing in a band, overcoming disability, and standing up to mean teachers. Some YA books scream of adults writing what they think teenagers should be reading, while the really good stuff feels like it was written by one of your friends in high school telling you about what's going on their life. At least this Orca Soundings book felt like more of the latter.

[C · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came across this in my Scribd recommendations and I'm glad I gave it a read. Its a cute short story about a girl, Hope, who gets sent to NY for the summer cause her parents are going to Thailand. She meets a girl and falls into a serious crush for her. Honestly, I wish it was longer and more detailed. The characters are well written and you definitely want to know more. Do Hope and Joy ever find middle ground? Will Hope leave NY? Is Nat a player or loyal? Plus a bunch of other questions. I liked it enough and really really really wish it was a full length book.

[N.K. Layne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Disclaimer: At the time of writing this reflection the book has no rating. I will give it a rating later on in the year to keep my Goodreads recommendations somewhat accurate however I'm not a big into rating books on a five star system nor am I big into rating books as soon as you finish them. I believe it needs some time to digest before you decide whether you even like the book you were reading. Sometimes what you take from the book is more important than the process of getting that information. That said, I will write this book reflection now, a few days after finishing this book, just to get more in the habit of writing book reflections. Note how I say reflection, not review. This is more of what I was experiencing while reading this book than a complete evaluation of the book as a product.

---

If I wanted to write a really positive reflection about Crush I could but I could very easily write a really negative reflection. It really just depends how seriously you take this book. This is more of a light, fluffy book, there to make you feel better. If you question the often times absurd plot points -- okay Park Slope is not this small, you don't bump into the same people all the time -- the book is trash. If you ignore how the characters get together, and just absorb the genuine truthful encounter of a naive, childlike crush, than this book is really amazing and feel good. Though it is a 'queer issue' book, the main character is from such an extreme leftist background, her insecurities are more over change, and newness, than internalized homophobia (though she drops dyke/queer bombs way too much), which creates a really romantic...stupid lucky plot about coming out.

It's a queer fantasy. Like hey wouldn't it be cool if this was my coming out story. This isn't stressful at all! That said many queer people live in less dramatic (and probably also just as dramatic) forms of this main characters family life (leftist commune) so there would be plenty of readers who would pick this up and not feel the pangs of jealousy that I felt while reading this. I jealous because it was just so easy for the main character. I just.. I just wonder what it is like for it to not be the biggest struggle in your life. For it to be a two day headache, that is shrunk because you are surrounded by so much support, and then for the problem of it to not exist anymore. For queerness to just be. In this sense, this book is triggering for us closeted folx. Her coming out is simple, her finding a girlfriend is simple, it is so so simple, I guess that's what romantic fantasy is supposed to be. And when you let go from your closeted, insecure, jealous problems, and just empath with the characters, it is really sweet. It feels just like a childish crush -- no queer issues attached. It feels hopeful and beautiful, warm and not intimidating, obsessive but not poisonous, just... fun.

So I go back to my first point, don't take this book so seriously. It is there for younger people to bask in their naive, hopeful, crushes that aren't quite yet nightmares. That are pleasant to have when you are straight and could be the same for queer people too -- if you don't have too much internalized issues. This is a precious gift to the young queer community. You can be cute crushes too.

[Liralen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short review for a short book:

Some very nice setup here (a character who actually likes her parents, who has an interesting background, etc.) although by the end it felt just like that—setup. There's not really space in this slim little volume to get deep into Hope's budding relationship, or her family, or much of anything else.

That being said...the books in this line, Orca Soundings, are 'short high-interest novels written expressly for teens reading below grade level', and it seems to have hit the mark reasonably well. I'd have loved a longer version, one that let Hope's relationship with Nat actually develop, but I suppose that wasn't possible within the parameters.

[Valeria]

this book is pretty awful. I like that there is no hardship for a queer couple because Lord knows that never happens. however, the way she uses Queer kinda rubs me the wrong way. almost in that, "I ain't no queer " kinda way? just makes me feel weird.

oh and I'm glad her sister doesn't like dreads on white people , because they don't belong on white people.

[Cacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute queer awakening mini book from 2006. It aged pretty well. I wanted to reread this because this was the first queer book I remember reading. I read it hiding under the covers in one night during high school, knowing I was queer but not knowing about accepting parents. 💜🩷🩵

[Katt Hansen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Still looking for that Hi-Lo book that I can really love. So far not finding it.

This one has strong writing and good characterization. BUT it doesn't have a lot of positive messages. The drug use of the sister might be condemned, but the pot use of her parents really seems to make that ok. Do I even have to get into the wine drinking at 17?

Also - and don't flame me or call me a homophobe on this because I don't care that the story was a girl-girl romance - ANYTIME you have someone who is a minor (17) and get them involved with someone who is an adult (19) you have trouble. It's not ok legally regardless of gender. Author could really have avoided the problem easily by perhaps changing the age of the narrator to 18?

And please also note, I'm putting this book down because the religion in it is about as far from Christianity as you can get. I'm all for showing religions in fiction - so long as there is diversity enough to show Christianity too (sorry, personal soapbox here, but it seems a lot of publishers will go to great lengths to show every single religion there is so long as it's NOT Christianity. Equal air time, that's all I'm asking).

So in the end I have to ask: Is it too much to ask for a positive message somewhere?

Listen up people, I'm serious here. Don't just show the reader where the kids are AT - show them something to strive for. How they can be better. Trust your readers. You're not giving them enough credit. And that's a huge disservice to them.

[Laura Spicer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read the book " Crush" by Carrie Mac. It was a surprising, and changed the perspective of what you would think could happened. This book was about a girl named Hope and her parents are going away for two months and is sending her off to her sisters in New York. She has never been away from her parents for more then a few nights. During this novel, Hope goes through a lot of different emotions and changes. And she also met a girl named Nat,who took a main part of this book. If you want to find out what happened with her and Nat, read the book! I would recommend this book for anyone looking for a quick read, and an interesting one about a teenage girl. I thought this book was weird but fun to read!

[Melinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short enough to read on your commute, Carrie Mac's Crush still manages to flesh out its characters and offer a sweet story of a teenage girl's first lesbian crush and coming-out story during a summer in New York City. I also appreciated the lesbian mentors she found along the way and the unique storyline of Hope being raised by (straight) well-meaning hippie parents in a commune.

[AnnaBnana · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a hi-lo book and that's important to keep in mind. I didn't hate it, but I did feel like the story moved too slowly and then really quickly. It took a long time to get to the meat of the plot and then the wrap-up felt really rushed.

[Melody Wolfe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the book that carried me through high school when I was exploring my sexuality. It's honest and really, really sweet. I'm happy to see a lesbian romance that focuses much more on the positive than on the usual drama-drama-sad-angst. It's a wonderful read.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't realize this book was about lesbians when I started reading it but there is nothin graphic in it and only took me a couple hours to read.

[Theron · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book I read is a small hardback book called Crush. This book has 126 pages if you don’t like reading or are into short stories. This book talks about Hope, a girl that moves in with her older sister for the summer and learns about her interests. Although small, this story contains conflict, love, confusion, and slice of life as or main character in this learns more about herself. Throughout this story, she begins to solve past problems of her life choices.
She begins her new temporary life with her partying drug addict of a sister which is terribly mean to her. Already with nothing much to look for, she begins to learn of the pluses of this place, New York City. Hope gets a job helping a lesbian couple with their children only to slowly grow closer with the two as if they were her own parents. This gives Allie an incite on how she can live her. Hope is filled with your ordinary teenage problems of affection, romance, anxiety, and regret. She begins to learn how to deal with these problems just like any other teenager by having others alongside her to help her through life.
I really connected to this short, but lovely book because it demonstrated similar struggles that we teens fight ourselves on day to day basises. Everyone has their own personal problems which always lead to anxiety, regret, stress, or even depression. This story however, shows how this girl which is always on a verge of mental breakdown overcomes these problems because she was able to meet people that were nice and supported her all the way. What I thought was just a book about someone's summer turned out to be a very valuable lesson on what every teen should do. Rely on others to help you in difficult situations.

[OutSideTheBoxox · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is overall a chill fun book. The idea of having your first Lesbian crush while unexpectedly living with Lesbians is a cool idea. But this book becomes only gets two stars from me because of how Hope ends up staying with the Lesbians. Her parents are very neglectful to send her to her unreadable sister. Also, the book brings up the fact that hope was in a sexual relationship with a much older man, giving details of their sex life without truly talking about why this may have been an unsafe/abusive relationship. Agwle gap relationships are fine in my book, but not if one person is under the age of 21. This relationship would have been statatory, and I don't think that talking about it like him being married was the problem and not the face he was sleeping with someone underage when he was 30. Also, the fact that he has access to Hope after this also seems neglectful on the parents' part.

[thi · Rating 2 out of 5]

2/5
- tw dyke slur mention, queer as an umbrella term mention
- the person who says “dyke” is the protag so I was immediately turned off, albeit more offhandedly than as a slur ... but still (also since it was part of an inner monologue it was never, imo, properly addressed)
- I don’t want to use it’s length against it but it is quite short so nothing is really developed it’s very superficial-instacrush WHICH can be great as well as just ok
- This was just ok

[celia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I'm only giving this three stars, I would probably still recommend CRUSH for young queers. It's a quick read, definitely feels like a good book for summer, and really not that bad.

I'm just at a point in my life where "oh my god I like a girl, does this make me gay? am I queer now????" is not at all a narrative I'm interested in.

[kyky · Rating 3 out of 5]

so short. so underdeveloped. cute idea. i wanted more of our girlies and their two twins. could've been SO GOOD if it was like 300 pages of development and growth and not like 100 pages of insta-love with one page of like "im not homophobic but im definitely not gay i do not want to be queer...omg cute Nat" y'know?

[Angel Shaw · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this from the library and got through it in a day. It was ok, but I just wish there was more time to flesh out Hope and Nat’s relationship. It felt a bit rushed as well. The most interesting character was Joy, but that’s because we knew the most about her. I think the book just needed to be longer.

[misty haze · Rating 5 out of 5]

....that's it!?

Oh my god. I loved this book. I wish there was more to it. The ending was so abrupt (cute, but too fast). I wanted it to keep going! It kept me interested through the entire (SHORT) book. More, more! I want more.

[Danie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A cute quick read. I've read this book twice, once as a young teen and once this year at almost twenty years old. Loved it each time for different reasons based on my life at the time and I can't wait to read it again in five to seven years to see what new reasons I find.

[Jamie (TheRebelliousReader) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars. This was light and fun. Nothing fantastic but I thought the characters were quirky and likable. I especially loved Hope’s parents. They were so loving and supportive and cool. Hope and Nat are adorable but I wanted more of them together. Very enjoyable and quick read.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. I Love this book. I LOVE this book. All I can say is that I LOVE this book.

[JKH · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was 5/5 for what I needed when I read it (short, sapphic, easy, brain numbing) but 2.5/5 in terms of a book.

[charlotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

nothing’s got my back quite like 2000s sapphic fiction

[Ember · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt like it ended pretty abruptly. I didn’t notice how close I was to finishing the book and suddenly the author’s bio page came up. Would have loved if it were longer. Cute story of coming out.

[Everyonewantsu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought it was really cute and her parents seemed so corny but I loved it.