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The Big O: The Ultimate Sex and Relationship Guide from Twitter Guru and Laidbare Podcast Host Oloni
‘The reigning sex and relationship guru of Twitter’ VOGUEAre you ready to have the best sex of your life?Oloni – Twitter’s famous sex and relationships educator – is on a mission to empower women to explore, express and embrace their sensual, sexy selves.The ultimate sex-positive manifesto will show you how to reclaim and pursue your sexual desires, sensuality, autonomy, and pleasure. By breaking down taboos, rejecting shame, and refusing repression, we can all harness the power of sexual freedom and start enjoying the – sex – life we’ve always dreamt of.With infectious energy, honesty, and humour, The Big O gives women a space to celebrate topics and conversations that have historically only been whispered behind closed doors. This book will inspire you – and educate you – on how to communicate with your partner (and yourself!) to have the best sex of your life, as well as debunking taboos and delving deep into important topics that need bringing into the spotlight; from masturbation and sex toys, to kinks, virginity, sexual identities, and sex positions you won’t know how you ever lived without.Everyone and every body needs Oloni in their life, even if they don’t know it yet…So ladies, shall we have some fun…?
368 pages, Paperback
First published September 29, 2022
88 people are currently reading
546 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
September 12, 2025
a good, informative book that wants to destigmatise sex and taboos surrounding it
whilst the demographic is clearly for women, i think certain chapters are useful for men, tbh, would genuinely be a good read for a young adult for their sex education
basically if I read the netflix Sex Educstion show as a book
whilst the demographic is clearly for women, i think certain chapters are useful for men, tbh, would genuinely be a good read for a young adult for their sex education
basically if I read the netflix Sex Educstion show as a book
March 17, 2023
Great book! Very informative! Whether you are sexually active or not, I believe this is a book you should get and read! I will be referring to this when needed. Very educational and covers a wide range of topics within sex and relationships.
February 5, 2023
“So what kind of sex should we be having? The kind that puts our pleasure up front and centre. Because when our pleasure isn't prioritised, we are NOT going to be having our best sex.”
One of my most anticipated reads of 2023. I got myself this book for Christmas and I was so excited to read it, I put it at the top of my to be read for 2023. I thought with this excitement I would race through this book but— it did not go that way. Now, I’m not saying I hated the book but I also didn’t love it. I’m on the picket line with this one.
If you haven’t heard of Oloni then you may be living under a rock, literally. This woman is phenomenal and bloody good at what she does. Her “Ladies, shall we have some fun?” Twitter threads has caused many controversy both good and bad. It’s fair to say Oloni is a voice for many young women who are proudly stepping into their sexuality.
"The Big O" is a guide to "dating, loving & †**king", has been created to get to increase sex positivity, and to encourage women to demand more in the bedroom. I definitely enjoyed learning more about my vagina and sexual heath. Not to mention reading about kinks, different sex positions, how to make consent sexy, sexual compatibility and sex toys. This book had it all!!
Although I enjoyed aspects of this book. I really struggled with the length and repetition. I do believe it could have been condensed much more as Oloni repeated herself many Overall, I enjoyed "The Blg O". Sex is definitely something we should be discussing more.
One of my most anticipated reads of 2023. I got myself this book for Christmas and I was so excited to read it, I put it at the top of my to be read for 2023. I thought with this excitement I would race through this book but— it did not go that way. Now, I’m not saying I hated the book but I also didn’t love it. I’m on the picket line with this one.
If you haven’t heard of Oloni then you may be living under a rock, literally. This woman is phenomenal and bloody good at what she does. Her “Ladies, shall we have some fun?” Twitter threads has caused many controversy both good and bad. It’s fair to say Oloni is a voice for many young women who are proudly stepping into their sexuality.
"The Big O" is a guide to "dating, loving & †**king", has been created to get to increase sex positivity, and to encourage women to demand more in the bedroom. I definitely enjoyed learning more about my vagina and sexual heath. Not to mention reading about kinks, different sex positions, how to make consent sexy, sexual compatibility and sex toys. This book had it all!!
Although I enjoyed aspects of this book. I really struggled with the length and repetition. I do believe it could have been condensed much more as Oloni repeated herself many Overall, I enjoyed "The Blg O". Sex is definitely something we should be discussing more.
October 4, 2022
If you’re in your twenties, you need to read this book!
December 27, 2022
“To the women who refuse to let society dictate what they should and shouldn’t do with their bodies.”
If you have never heard of Oloni, I am inclined to believe that you may have been living under a rock for the last few years 🤭. Oloni, is one of the most controversial public figures of our generation. A sex, relationship & dating guru, who’s “Ladies, shall we have some fun?” tweets, have left many in awe, & feeling empowered. But on the flip side this has left many outraged & distrustful of women. But why? “The Big O” is bound to ruffle some feathers, but more importantly this guide to “dating, loving & f**king”, has been created to get to increase sex positivity, garner a better understanding, education attitude towards sex.
It is no great secret that the not-so- Great Britain, has a very reserved attitude towards sex, which lingers on the side of being prudish. Oloni, both on & offline, has constantly put herself in the firing line to push the conversation of sex in Britain to the forefront, primarily in the black community. With discussions on consent, sex education, sex toys, sex positions, kinks & festishes, disability, monogamy and a whole lot more, Oloni leaves no corner uncovered (for cis het men/women mainly) in “The Big O”.
I definitely enjoyed checking my privilege in regards to sex, because I infrequently think of how non cis-het individuals are excluded from discussions and education of sex. My favourite sections of this book were definitely the submissions from Oloni’s followers (Lord have mercy), along with my favourite chapter - Sexual health.
I did struggle with the length & girth (sorry I couldn’t resist 🤣) of the book. There are a total of 368 pages! Now my struggles may have been rooted in the fact that non-fiction is not generally my thing, but in my honest opinion I feel the chapters would have benefitted from being shorter and condensed.
Overall, I enjoyed “The BIg O”. It's provided me with lots of discussions & debates within my marriage & friendship groups. Sex is definitely something we should be discussing more.
For fans of “Sex Lives of African Women” & “Block, Delete, Move On”, this one may be right up your street!
If you have never heard of Oloni, I am inclined to believe that you may have been living under a rock for the last few years 🤭. Oloni, is one of the most controversial public figures of our generation. A sex, relationship & dating guru, who’s “Ladies, shall we have some fun?” tweets, have left many in awe, & feeling empowered. But on the flip side this has left many outraged & distrustful of women. But why? “The Big O” is bound to ruffle some feathers, but more importantly this guide to “dating, loving & f**king”, has been created to get to increase sex positivity, garner a better understanding, education attitude towards sex.
It is no great secret that the not-so- Great Britain, has a very reserved attitude towards sex, which lingers on the side of being prudish. Oloni, both on & offline, has constantly put herself in the firing line to push the conversation of sex in Britain to the forefront, primarily in the black community. With discussions on consent, sex education, sex toys, sex positions, kinks & festishes, disability, monogamy and a whole lot more, Oloni leaves no corner uncovered (for cis het men/women mainly) in “The Big O”.
I definitely enjoyed checking my privilege in regards to sex, because I infrequently think of how non cis-het individuals are excluded from discussions and education of sex. My favourite sections of this book were definitely the submissions from Oloni’s followers (Lord have mercy), along with my favourite chapter - Sexual health.
I did struggle with the length & girth (sorry I couldn’t resist 🤣) of the book. There are a total of 368 pages! Now my struggles may have been rooted in the fact that non-fiction is not generally my thing, but in my honest opinion I feel the chapters would have benefitted from being shorter and condensed.
Overall, I enjoyed “The BIg O”. It's provided me with lots of discussions & debates within my marriage & friendship groups. Sex is definitely something we should be discussing more.
For fans of “Sex Lives of African Women” & “Block, Delete, Move On”, this one may be right up your street!
October 31, 2022
Oloni is best known for being a sex and relationship guru of Twitter . She encourages women to explore and reclaim their sexuality. Oloni is also known for sharing her followers dilemmas on her twitter which can be both entertaining and shocking! She includes some of the dilemmas in this book and let me tell you they are juicy!!!! Some of the dilemmas and views will definitely have men questioning women 😅
Not only was this book entertaining it was also very educational. I loved that Oloni did extensive research into sex and relationship, consent, virginity, sexual health and range of other important topics. I loved that she was very open in this book about her own sexual experiences. She discusses the need for women to be able to enjoy sex just as much as men and offers some very helpful tips.
I did feel the book was longer than it needed to be. Some of the information included could have been left out as it did at times feel repetitive. However, this is a book that everyone can benefit from in order to get to know themselves better and to have “the best sex of your lives” (in the words of Oloni).
I read this book as part of a book club which made for some interesting discussions.
If you are planning on reading this book, get yourself a note pad or sticky tabs because there are a lot of helpful tips and things to learn.
⭐️⭐️⭐️.5 but rounded to 4.
Not only was this book entertaining it was also very educational. I loved that Oloni did extensive research into sex and relationship, consent, virginity, sexual health and range of other important topics. I loved that she was very open in this book about her own sexual experiences. She discusses the need for women to be able to enjoy sex just as much as men and offers some very helpful tips.
I did feel the book was longer than it needed to be. Some of the information included could have been left out as it did at times feel repetitive. However, this is a book that everyone can benefit from in order to get to know themselves better and to have “the best sex of your lives” (in the words of Oloni).
I read this book as part of a book club which made for some interesting discussions.
If you are planning on reading this book, get yourself a note pad or sticky tabs because there are a lot of helpful tips and things to learn.
⭐️⭐️⭐️.5 but rounded to 4.
March 9, 2023
Well, this was a fun and interesting read, but if you've ever seen Oloni's Twitter timeline, it's kind of her brand.
This is an incredibly detailed book that everyone should read if they want to fully understand the world of sex - frankly, it's one of those books that every in their 20s should read. It's a fun, honest and educational insight and touches on everything from sex and relationship, consent, virginity, sexual health and a range of other important topics. That said, I didn't particularly like her take on porn addiction and how it's society's way of trying to shame people for watching porn - felt like that was a little reckless and misleading.
On the other hand, I did appreciate how open and honest Oloni was about her own sexual experiences and she also provided insight into what other people are going through by sharing a few DMs that she gets. For the record, you should probably not pick up this book if you consider yourself judgemental because a few of those entries are a little.. interesting - not that I'm judging (I totally am. Stop cheating on your partners, it makes you a See You Next Tuesday).
Additionally, the book did feel repetitive at times and it could have been condensed but nonetheless, it was a great read and frankly, after the DM's I've seen Oloni receive, people should really be talking about sex and the "big o" more.
This is an incredibly detailed book that everyone should read if they want to fully understand the world of sex - frankly, it's one of those books that every in their 20s should read. It's a fun, honest and educational insight and touches on everything from sex and relationship, consent, virginity, sexual health and a range of other important topics. That said, I didn't particularly like her take on porn addiction and how it's society's way of trying to shame people for watching porn - felt like that was a little reckless and misleading.
On the other hand, I did appreciate how open and honest Oloni was about her own sexual experiences and she also provided insight into what other people are going through by sharing a few DMs that she gets. For the record, you should probably not pick up this book if you consider yourself judgemental because a few of those entries are a little.. interesting - not that I'm judging (I totally am. Stop cheating on your partners, it makes you a See You Next Tuesday).
Additionally, the book did feel repetitive at times and it could have been condensed but nonetheless, it was a great read and frankly, after the DM's I've seen Oloni receive, people should really be talking about sex and the "big o" more.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 29, 2023
I think every women should read this! Such an entertaining and enlightening book. In a world where the orgasm gap is still bigger than ever, this book offers golden nuggets of advice and positive talk, helping women to dispel the sex negative attitudes that society has bestowed upon them. Although, it was written from a heterosexual point of view, I felt like most of the information is applicable for us bisexuals too.
Main takeaways :
(1) sex is a partnership and although we live in a phallic society, do not sacrifice your pleasure to appease the world around you (I.E abstain from sex because you are being told to, have sex with someone to keep them..etc)
(2) communication is super sexy and when engaging with casual partners or even in a relationship, checking in with one another doesn’t have to be awkward. In fact, it’s rather sexy.
(3) being sex positive means that you are taking responsibility for both your pleasure and sexual health. It’s not just about having sex with whoever without safe sex practice.
(4) the only person that should care about how you conduct yourself sexually is you. People can judge, but it just goes to show how ignorant they are. Your sex life is your own and anyone that chastises you for it, is a dick or possible jealous.
Main takeaways :
(1) sex is a partnership and although we live in a phallic society, do not sacrifice your pleasure to appease the world around you (I.E abstain from sex because you are being told to, have sex with someone to keep them..etc)
(2) communication is super sexy and when engaging with casual partners or even in a relationship, checking in with one another doesn’t have to be awkward. In fact, it’s rather sexy.
(3) being sex positive means that you are taking responsibility for both your pleasure and sexual health. It’s not just about having sex with whoever without safe sex practice.
(4) the only person that should care about how you conduct yourself sexually is you. People can judge, but it just goes to show how ignorant they are. Your sex life is your own and anyone that chastises you for it, is a dick or possible jealous.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 24, 2023
last week i went to my first @booksandlooksbookclub hosted by @jotheblackbookworm our book of the month was ‘The Big O’ by @oloni so you already know there was lotssss to talk about! on top of meeting some great people we were also given the most amazing goody bags and it was such a good time!
i think Oloni has done a great job at producing a super honest, comprehensive and entertaining ‘guide to loving, dating and f**king’ with this book. in true fashion she doesn’t really shy away from anything, i went for the audiobook version and i was defo blushing on the tube (idk if some parts were intentionally 🌶 or if that was just me??) but i definitely felt like i got a lot from it. what i liked most was that it wasn’t focused on how to audition for the next Cirque du Solei show (although it was included) but was grounded in the fundamentals of consent, communication and having safe, pleasurable sex. i would defo say that the book was focused on the experiences of people with vulvas who have sex with people with penis(s) but I think Oloni was conscious of that as a writer and and brought in great experts to share their different experiences.
i think Oloni has done a great job at producing a super honest, comprehensive and entertaining ‘guide to loving, dating and f**king’ with this book. in true fashion she doesn’t really shy away from anything, i went for the audiobook version and i was defo blushing on the tube (idk if some parts were intentionally 🌶 or if that was just me??) but i definitely felt like i got a lot from it. what i liked most was that it wasn’t focused on how to audition for the next Cirque du Solei show (although it was included) but was grounded in the fundamentals of consent, communication and having safe, pleasurable sex. i would defo say that the book was focused on the experiences of people with vulvas who have sex with people with penis(s) but I think Oloni was conscious of that as a writer and and brought in great experts to share their different experiences.
October 22, 2023
In "The Big O: An Empowering Guide to Loving, Dating and F*cking," Oloni fearlessly delves into the intricacies of modern relationships and sexual empowerment. With unapologetic honesty, she champions self-love and open communication, although some may desire more practical relationship guidance. Despite its occasional lack of structure, the book's celebration of inclusivity and taboo-shattering narratives makes it a powerful manifesto for those seeking a fresh perspective on intimacy and self-acceptance.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.
December 14, 2025
The contents of this book are a solid beginners guide to modern sex, dating and feminism though clearly targeted for straight women.
The two star rating reflects the contents of the link chapter, and two stars is generous. The interview in this chapter describes scenarios that lack clear consent; wildly irresponsible for a book built on how to have sex safely.
The two star rating reflects the contents of the link chapter, and two stars is generous. The interview in this chapter describes scenarios that lack clear consent; wildly irresponsible for a book built on how to have sex safely.
February 21, 2023
I’ve listened to Laid Bare for years and adore Oloni and how she uplifts women in such a funny, positive way and this book was no different! The entire book was full of sexual empowerment for your body and your mind and I even learnt a few things I wasn’t aware of. I think as a 24 year old woman who has experienced a long journey of finding her confidence this book only served as a reminder to me. However, anyone younger and struggling to figure out how to take that journey this book is really honest and helpful! Loved
March 8, 2025
Переклад українською пречудовий. Насміялася від душі. Начитка топ! Приємно слухати. У тексті багато повторів і, в принципі, небагато нової інформації, але стиль викладу (стендапівський) і потужний буст самооцінки в одній книжці це цінно і щоб повторювати.
January 7, 2023
Oloni’s knowledge is highly valuable and extensive, I will be referring back to this in future !
January 24, 2023
I think every girl needs to read this book!
March 6, 2023
Beautiful and empowering book that tackles women's sexuality and sexual liberation
March 7, 2023
Would be great for those in their early twenties! Enjoyed the discussions around sex education and society's view on womens sexuality. But there was a lot of general information and repetition.
March 22, 2023
Very informative for a young woman, would recommend to everyone!
October 30, 2023
Took a long time to read since I felt uncomfortable reading on public transport. A bit triggering, however, as the year has passed it’s reinforced my boundaries and self-respect.
December 31, 2023
I really enjoyed this honest portrayal of sex, orgasms and relationships. Really genuinely empowering. I loved her honesty.
January 9, 2024
Really good topics, inclusive language used (around gender), however it was a bit cringey at parts
January 27, 2024
Fun read but could have been shorter
March 21, 2024
Important and informative
March 27, 2024
I’m a sucker for a feminist sex positive read. Incredibly interesting, informative and important read . Covers loads of things from sex positivity, consent to body positivity etc
November 13, 2024
Really enjoyed this one 🥹🥹🥹 Oloni is such a girl’s girl for this offering. Nothing groundbreaking though; just a fun book that educates so subtly. Could have been a bit shorter
March 28, 2025
nice and informative and empowering, i liked this a lot
February 18, 2024
Delicious book & super informative!
sexually active or not, it’s important to get comfortable with your body before, or during your journey into your sexuality!
i wish i had this book at 18
sexually active or not, it’s important to get comfortable with your body before, or during your journey into your sexuality!
i wish i had this book at 18
November 1, 2025
4.5 stars
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews