Creating Harmonious Relationships: A Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy

by Andrew LeCompte

[This edition is out of print.] Creating Harmonious Relationships will show you how to build loving intimate relationships, develop and maintain friendships, positively influence people at work, and turn conflict into understanding.
Revised Edition now available here https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...

Genres: Relationships

256 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 1999

About the author

Andrew LeCompte is an author, counselor, and teacher dedicated to helping people live more authentically and create truly harmonious relationships.
With a Master’s degree in Humanistic Psychology, he developed a practical method of empathic communication that he has taught in schools, hospitals, universities, and international corporations. His first book, Creating Harmonious Relationships, sold over 5,000 copies and has now returned in Spanish as Creando Relaciones Armoniosas: Una Guía Práctica para el Poder de la Verdadera Empatía.

Years later, he published his second book, Finding Miracles: Escape from a Cult—the testimony of his experience in a harmful spiritual community and the journey of resilience and healing that led him to regain his freedom.

Two sides of his work: practical tools for better communication, and an inspiring story of recovery and personal growth.

Reviews

[Olia Braguța · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books i’ve ever read- hands down!

Study cases, accessible language despite the amount of mind work that is explained in the book.
I feel like reading it once is not enough for me, because going chapter by chapter and applying the learnt information is the toughest of this all.

[Andrew LeCompte · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Creating Harmonious Relationships, a Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy, you will learn how to
• build loving intimate relationships
• develop and maintain friendships
• positively influence people at work
• turn conflict into understanding
Andrew LeCompte has helped thousands of people to communicate more effectively and more lovingly. In this book he presents “true empathy,” the key to understanding and communicating with people. With it you will experience the joy and contentment of harmonious relationships.

Creating Harmonious Relationships: a Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy Revised Edition is empowering in a heartfelt way. It teaches the reader how to communicate wisely and effectively with other people. The basic technique is easy to grasp, and it is taught in a step-by step manner. It teaches how to listen in a way that invites the other person to open up and disclose what is really bothering them while also encouraging them to cast what might be their negative complaint into a positive hope. This is the use of “true empathy.” It is particularly useful in defusing an argument when emotions are running high.

“True empathy” involves first acknowledging the other person’s feeling state, as in “Are you upset because…?” This guess shows concern for the other person’s feeling state and invites their correction. They might say, “I’m angry at you because you’ve only been criticizing my idea.” Then you guess at what their positive hope might be that is behind their feeling criticized. You might reply, “So you’re angry because what you really want is some positive support.” Then they will supply what their hope is, in this case probably involving some kind of help. Then their emotional energy is defused.

Hopes are a key concept in interpersonal communication. We are all motivated to get our hopes met. Hopes are such things as to be heard and understood, to be accepted. These are connection hopes. We also have freedom hopes such as to express our creativity and to be treated with honesty. Hopes are positive needs that can be met without infringing on someone else. They are at the heart of effective conflict resolution.

This method of communicating is the culmination of techniques that have been practiced and refined over many decades. Thousands of people have learned and benefited from the first edition of Creating Harmonious Relationships: a Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy.
The book was sold out and the Revised Edition came out in January 2024.

[Lizzy Jeremko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great synthesis of psychological thinkers ranging from Maslow to Freud to Carl Rogers to Goleman. Offers helpful critique of existing frameworks that still have gaps (i.e. emotional intelligence book). Concrete, helpful examples and reference tables.

[Andrew LeCompte · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the 2002 Edition (which is out of print.)

Look for the Revised Edition. Expected publication January 24, 2024

Creating Harmonious Relationships: A Practical Guide to the Power of True Empathy (Paperback)