What do you think?
Rate this book
No Turn Unstoned: The worst ever theatrical reviews
Venomous, vitriolic, vituperative - there have been critics around for as long as there has been a play or an actor to criticize. And no one has ever escaped the critics' wrath.
In NO TURN UNSTONED, Diana Rigg has gathered together the worst reviews of all time for everything and everyone from 'Romeo and Juliet' and Sarah Bernhardt to Alec Guiness and 'Evita'. They make compulsive - and devastatingly funny - reading.
In NO TURN UNSTONED, Diana Rigg has gathered together the worst reviews of all time for everything and everyone from 'Romeo and Juliet' and Sarah Bernhardt to Alec Guiness and 'Evita'. They make compulsive - and devastatingly funny - reading.
304 pages, Paperback
First published September 13, 1982
2 people are currently reading
152 people want to read
About the author
Diana Rigg
11 books4 followersDame Enid Diana Elizabeth Rigg, DBE was an English actress. She played Emma Peel in the TV series The Avengers, Countess Teresa di Vicenzo, wife of James Bond, in On Her Majesty's Secret Service and Olenna Tyrell in Game of Thrones. She won numerous awards for both screen & stage.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
June 20, 2019
"'A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned,' as my friend the Reverend Joseph McCulloch once remarked to me, and from this maxim came my idea for the book. It followed, surely, that everyone in my profession must, at some time, have been given a bad notice. So I wrote to all the well-known actors and actresses of today and asked them to donate their worst/funniest review."
(From the author's Introduction.)
Diana Rigg is one of the greatest living stage and film actresses, winner of the Tony Award for the title role in Medea. She is also a CBE and a Dame for her service to the arts of drama. Most people my age, though, remember her from the unforgettable role of Emma Peel in the British cult TV series of the late 1960s, The Avengers (please note that it has absolutely nothing to do with the Hollywood Avengers of today, and is of stellar quality instead, sort of like Monty Python of science-fiction; if anything, it might be considered a precursor of X-Files.) I was a late teenager in the late 1960s and like tens of thousands of other teenagers I was in love with Ms. Rigg. She also appeared in one Bond movie, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, and James Bond actually married her. Well, had I been James Bond I would have married her too. Most men would. Anyway.
No Turn Unstoned (1982) is a collection of fragments of "the worst ever theatrical reviews" compiled by Diana Rigg. There is no good way of reviewing a book that consists of a thousand or so quotes. Let me only say the collection is very funny, and even if the readers have not heard about many people that are criticized, often brutally but almost always wittily, they will laugh out loud anyway. But before I quote a few of my favorite bits and pieces, here's a partial list of really famous actors who are skewered by the reviewers: Judi Dench, Tom Courtenay, Sarah Bernhardt, Julie Christie, Mia Farrow, Albert Finney, John Gielgud, Ian Holm, Anthony Hopkins, Glenda Jackson, Laurence Olivier, Orson Welles, Marlene Dietrich, Katherine Hepburn, and Vanessa Redgrave. Each one of these giants of acting took a beating from critics at some point of their career. What about Diana Rigg herself? Sure, she gets made fun of too:
Three-and-a-half stars.
(From the author's Introduction.)
Diana Rigg is one of the greatest living stage and film actresses, winner of the Tony Award for the title role in Medea. She is also a CBE and a Dame for her service to the arts of drama. Most people my age, though, remember her from the unforgettable role of Emma Peel in the British cult TV series of the late 1960s, The Avengers (please note that it has absolutely nothing to do with the Hollywood Avengers of today, and is of stellar quality instead, sort of like Monty Python of science-fiction; if anything, it might be considered a precursor of X-Files.) I was a late teenager in the late 1960s and like tens of thousands of other teenagers I was in love with Ms. Rigg. She also appeared in one Bond movie, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, and James Bond actually married her. Well, had I been James Bond I would have married her too. Most men would. Anyway.
No Turn Unstoned (1982) is a collection of fragments of "the worst ever theatrical reviews" compiled by Diana Rigg. There is no good way of reviewing a book that consists of a thousand or so quotes. Let me only say the collection is very funny, and even if the readers have not heard about many people that are criticized, often brutally but almost always wittily, they will laugh out loud anyway. But before I quote a few of my favorite bits and pieces, here's a partial list of really famous actors who are skewered by the reviewers: Judi Dench, Tom Courtenay, Sarah Bernhardt, Julie Christie, Mia Farrow, Albert Finney, John Gielgud, Ian Holm, Anthony Hopkins, Glenda Jackson, Laurence Olivier, Orson Welles, Marlene Dietrich, Katherine Hepburn, and Vanessa Redgrave. Each one of these giants of acting took a beating from critics at some point of their career. What about Diana Rigg herself? Sure, she gets made fun of too:
"Diana Rigg is built like a brick mausoleum with insufficient flying buttresses."Some of my other favorites: About Katharine Hepburn:
"An actress of such strikingly limited ability that, in professional company, she seems almost amateurish [...] You know she can't act, yet you do not particularly mind."About John Gielgud:
"Mr. Gielgud has the most meaningless legs imaginable."About Glenda Jackson:
"Glenda Jackson has a face to launch a thousand dredgers."About a certain play:
"I can certainly add that, unpleasant though the prospect of being kicked in the stomach by a horse may be, I would certainly rather be kicked in the stomach by a horse than see the play again."A devastating, sometimes cruel, and very funny collection!
Three-and-a-half stars.
October 9, 2020
Hilarious if you 1) like sharp writing --- the criticisms range from meat cleavers to scalpels, but they are well-written 2) know the reputations of the actors, many of whom generously sent Rigg their most insulting reviews or 3) like a book perfect for bite-sized reading that doesn't have to be linear. If you actually work in live theatre (guilty), this collection frequently ascends to the level of hysterically funny.
Rest in peace, Dame Diana. You will be missed as the superb actor and person you were.
Rest in peace, Dame Diana. You will be missed as the superb actor and person you were.
Read
March 31, 2020Hilarious, even though it can’t have been much fun to have been on the receiving end of some of these bad reviews. To the credit of the many involved, a goodly number of these “right pannings” were provided to editor Diana Rigg by the actors and other theatre people who first received them.
February 6, 2015
This book is a lot of fun to read. Ms. Rigg has brought together a wide variety of reviews from actors, actresses, playwrights, and directors familiar to most of us, and respected by us, that were written more to show off the writers' wit than to give a fair critique of what had "turned" on the stage. Where she had little response or wanted to add more evidence, she has done research and added pieces that trashed plays that are still classics centuries later.
Beginning with what she terms a "slender account of the early theatre and some of its enemies" in order to put today's theatre in context, Ms. Rigg illustrates how sometimes critics have decried productions because they cared about theatre, and how some have even defended a new playwright or actor: "for instance, Bernard Shaw and William Archer proclaiming the genius of Ibsen in the face of widespread opposition".
Rigg has organized the reviews in a number of categories. First, actors and actresses born in Great Britain, then, a section of reviews that have an obvious "critic's device" where they simply recap the plot without comment, the object being to "let the thing hang itself". When reviews were not forthcoming (such as from America where most actresses and actors deign not to dwell on or repeat negative reviews, Katharine Hepburn being one of the exceptions) Rigg has done research and come up with pieces that fit the bill, going as far back even as Walt Whitman who sometimes wrote for the Brooklyn Eagle, 1846.
One of my favourites, so far, is that of The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde, St. James's, February 1895 by an unnamed writer in Truth:
There are also critiques of musicals, reviews, variety shows and their stars, classic roles (such as Hamlet in 1698 and again in 1811), directors, production sets, and theatres. Her collection of reviews is meant to "give readers a laugh and, at the same time, a pause for thought". And so, it does. The reviews are very funny in context of what we ourselves know to be true of these now famous people and productions, and the original cartoons/ caricatures Rigg has added lend further support to her premise that no 'turn' upon the stage goes 'unstoned'. This is an easy book to pick up and read through any particular part, then come back later and read another. It is full of gems of wit and hilarity whether you are familiar with the actor, play, or what have you, or not. Lots of fun.
Beginning with what she terms a "slender account of the early theatre and some of its enemies" in order to put today's theatre in context, Ms. Rigg illustrates how sometimes critics have decried productions because they cared about theatre, and how some have even defended a new playwright or actor: "for instance, Bernard Shaw and William Archer proclaiming the genius of Ibsen in the face of widespread opposition".
Rigg has organized the reviews in a number of categories. First, actors and actresses born in Great Britain, then, a section of reviews that have an obvious "critic's device" where they simply recap the plot without comment, the object being to "let the thing hang itself". When reviews were not forthcoming (such as from America where most actresses and actors deign not to dwell on or repeat negative reviews, Katharine Hepburn being one of the exceptions) Rigg has done research and come up with pieces that fit the bill, going as far back even as Walt Whitman who sometimes wrote for the Brooklyn Eagle, 1846.
One of my favourites, so far, is that of The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde, St. James's, February 1895 by an unnamed writer in Truth:
Whether we should have heard as much as we have about it, had anybody else written it, is doubtful; but that only shows the importance of being -- Oscar . . . There is no attempt at characterisation, but all the dramatis personae, from the heroes down to the butlers, talk pure and undiluted Wildese.
There are also critiques of musicals, reviews, variety shows and their stars, classic roles (such as Hamlet in 1698 and again in 1811), directors, production sets, and theatres. Her collection of reviews is meant to "give readers a laugh and, at the same time, a pause for thought". And so, it does. The reviews are very funny in context of what we ourselves know to be true of these now famous people and productions, and the original cartoons/ caricatures Rigg has added lend further support to her premise that no 'turn' upon the stage goes 'unstoned'. This is an easy book to pick up and read through any particular part, then come back later and read another. It is full of gems of wit and hilarity whether you are familiar with the actor, play, or what have you, or not. Lots of fun.
July 19, 2015
I've enjoyed browsing through this, 10 - 15 minutes at a time. Like any book of what is essentially a collection of quotations, it’s not really designed for start to finish cover to cover reading. I should have very much liked the publisher to have gone to the extra expense of a red typeface to differentiate the reviewed from the reviewer: the blood from the body; as it were.
For example (p.120):
Production: Amadeus by Peter Shaffer, New York 1981.
Reviewed By: Robert Cushman (in the Observer).
“… The New York audience, the night I went, gave the play a standing ovation. A cynical friend maintains that Broadway audiences always do this to justify to themselves the mountainous cost of the evening out …”
There are many such gems between the covers of this book. It’s merely a question of applying the persistence to locate them before eyelids sleepily fall closed.
For example (p.120):
Production: Amadeus by Peter Shaffer, New York 1981.
Reviewed By: Robert Cushman (in the Observer).
“… The New York audience, the night I went, gave the play a standing ovation. A cynical friend maintains that Broadway audiences always do this to justify to themselves the mountainous cost of the evening out …”
There are many such gems between the covers of this book. It’s merely a question of applying the persistence to locate them before eyelids sleepily fall closed.
November 5, 2015
Brilliant, as is the authoress. Rigg assembles hilarious reviews from recent and long past theatrical history, illustrating what a bombastic group of bores some reviewers can be. Worth finding a copy and keeping it by the bedside for light reading at any time.
April 17, 2025
Amusing but dated, No Turn Unstoned offers many hilarious critical pans of both actors and plays from history through the 1970’s. It made me long to read a similar book, so far unwritten, of panned films and modern actors.
May 7, 2017
I had such a good time reading this book! My husband can testify to his bedtime reading being constantly interrupted by my chuckles, hoots and outright roars of laughter! I guess, as the wife, daughter, sister and aunt of actors, this was a pleasure tinged with guilt at being amused at the profession's suffering at the hands of critics, but justice was served on several critics who were also damned by colleagues for their dramatic offerings (including Kenneth Tynan, Clive James, and George Bernard Shaw)! My Dad actually got one of the best reviews of his life, albeit for a cameo, from Bernard Levin (see http://www.judithjohnson.co.uk/james-...). Incidentally, Dad had a guest villain role in one of Diana Rigg's episodes of The Avengers, when he played a mad ticket-collector trying to murder the British Prime Minister!
I recommend just reading a couple a night, as a late night dessert to follow your main course reading!
I recommend just reading a couple a night, as a late night dessert to follow your main course reading!
July 18, 2018
In these days we all need laughs, so find this book . Yes laugh at the lowest group of people in history, ACTORS! Watch and laugh, as they are savaged by the evil, evil, really evil villains...…..CRITICS!
It's not just actors that face the venom of these Imperial Stormtroopers of art, but the directors, sets, writers(in Hollywood they are lower then the actors) and even the poor theaters?!
So get a cold drinks and laugh, laugh and laugh at not a few of the international stars we think of as treasures....hint, hint....Diane Rigg has one of the worst(by John Simon...the Prince of Darkness of the NY theatre community) and funniest.
It's not just actors that face the venom of these Imperial Stormtroopers of art, but the directors, sets, writers(in Hollywood they are lower then the actors) and even the poor theaters?!
So get a cold drinks and laugh, laugh and laugh at not a few of the international stars we think of as treasures....hint, hint....Diane Rigg has one of the worst(by John Simon...the Prince of Darkness of the NY theatre community) and funniest.
July 26, 2018
This is a delightful compilation of unflattering to ferocious theater reviews for the famous and unfortunately, in some case, forgotten. A schadenfreude treat for theater folk who have felt put upon by a critic or critics at some point in their life. Though it is not a sit down and read through sort of book, that much schadenfreude can turn depressing. Rather it is book to read a chapter or two and to come back to later, to refresh your palate between other tomes.
September 14, 2020
Good collection of reviews from history and personal acquaintances. It was humorous, entertaining, and informative. I learned about plays and players about which and whom I want to find out more. The English stage is highlighted, but American theater and some Hollywood stars are featured as well.
January 29, 2023
A collection of deliciously acid theatrical reviews? Sure, that'll do just fine. It's an older book now, but it still lands.
November 28, 2016
Some of the reviews relate to the ancients and some not so old from the 18th and 19th centuries - its interesting that a number of these were probably funny when written but the humour hasn't survived the test of time. However there are some gems particularly from recent times among the impressive number of reviews that have been researched. Diana is obviously well respected among the acting profession has a number of top drawer performers have volunteered disparaging reviews about their performances.
September 8, 2017
As expected given the nature of this book, there are some gems and some clunkers. This book would probably be a lot more enjoyable if you just found the reviews that interest and amuse you and skip the ones that don't. The organization is lacking and some of the longer reviews are incredibly tedious.
July 29, 2011
Screamingly funny collection by Diana Rigg of some of the worst & most vicious theatre reviews of all time. Ranges from the completely clueless & stupid to the borders of outright slander. It's absolutely amazing what people have been able to say in print, and it's a very fun book.
April 4, 2012
....and you think you've had some bad reviews.
May 5, 2018
Good clean fun from a wide variety of sources. I can’t help but feel a better organisation system was warranted though.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews