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Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
With wisdom, compassion, and gentle humor, Parker J. Palmer invites us to listen to the inner teacher and follow its leadings toward a sense of meaning and purpose. Telling stories from his own life and the lives of others who have made a difference, he shares insights gained from darkness and depression as well as fulfillment and joy, illuminating a pathway toward vocation for all who seek the true calling of their lives.
128 pages, Hardcover
First published September 10, 1999
1240 people are currently reading
15249 people want to read
About the author
Parker J. Palmer
72 books568 followersParker J. Palmer (Madison, WI) is a writer, teacher and activist whose work speaks deeply to people in many walks of life. Author of eight books--including the bestsellers Courage to Teach, Let Your Life Speak, and A Hidden Wholeness--his writing has been recognized with ten honorary doctorates and many national awards, including the 2010 William Rainey Harper Award (previously won by Margaret Mead, Paulo Freire, and Elie Wiesel). He is founder and senior partner of the Center for Courage Renewal, and holds a Ph.D. from the University of California at Berkeley.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,235 reviews
July 8, 2011
I read this too fast, like eating an incredibly rich piece of cake that gives you a stomachache and a desire to never eat again. I read this too fast, because it's only 109 pages, and these days that's a Post-It note to me in a world of dissertations.
I will buy this book, and I will read it again, and I will take at least ten minutes for each page.
The thing about Palmer's writing is not that it is lofty or erudite or accompanied by some hidden soundtrack of thunderous drums and resonant string sections. It is that it is simple, and quiet, and in acceptance of brokenness. This is not a how-to-figure-out-what-you-are book, which is what I had been looking for; it is a why-to-accept-what-you-could-be book, which is what I actually needed. I applaud Palmer's honesty and willingness to discuss not knowing, not understanding, to admit that depression was a part of his journey without sensationalizing or diminishing it. It is the brevity that encourages me to go seek my own ideas of community and fellowship, to listen to my own life's voice, to disagree with his ideas of seasons and agree with his notions of soul solitude and fight to hold these oppositions, as we no longer learn to do. This is a book among the books that require thinking, praying, mulling, expanding, and never reading in a handful of days and gleefully moving on to the next volume. That makes it a worthwhile book--that I am not content to stop with this, and that Palmer never meant for his readers to do so.
I will buy this book, and I will read it again, and I will take at least ten minutes for each page.
The thing about Palmer's writing is not that it is lofty or erudite or accompanied by some hidden soundtrack of thunderous drums and resonant string sections. It is that it is simple, and quiet, and in acceptance of brokenness. This is not a how-to-figure-out-what-you-are book, which is what I had been looking for; it is a why-to-accept-what-you-could-be book, which is what I actually needed. I applaud Palmer's honesty and willingness to discuss not knowing, not understanding, to admit that depression was a part of his journey without sensationalizing or diminishing it. It is the brevity that encourages me to go seek my own ideas of community and fellowship, to listen to my own life's voice, to disagree with his ideas of seasons and agree with his notions of soul solitude and fight to hold these oppositions, as we no longer learn to do. This is a book among the books that require thinking, praying, mulling, expanding, and never reading in a handful of days and gleefully moving on to the next volume. That makes it a worthwhile book--that I am not content to stop with this, and that Palmer never meant for his readers to do so.
September 10, 2019
This is a reflective short book.
Parker talks about the difference between a goal and a calling in relation to a vocation. ...
...listening to our inner truths....our gifts, our limitations, regrets and mistakes...in the area of vocation.
His shares about his own life’s journey with depression, ( the ultimate state of disconnection), and shares about his position in leadership, and his connection with community.
By Parker sharing his experiences....his trials and tribulations.. we contemplate the different perspectives on what empowers and what dis-empowers our own choices.
As he reflected on his human modesty - authenticity - and consciousness- in human responsibility... we do the same. We look into our own lives.
I especially resonated with this excerpt: Its one I’ve looked at and explored a few times with Elkhart Tolle in his book “A New Earth”... awakening to your life‘s purpose”:
“Without a global revolution in the sphere of human consciousness, nothing will change for the better...and the catastrophe toward which this world is headed weather it be it ecological, social, demographic, or a general breakdown of civilization, will be unavoidable”.
Parker, in much the same way as Tolle does...
asks us to look at our life’s purpose.
Ha.... unfortunately it’s not something we only do once!
At every age and stage of our lives - our purposes are evolving...
Leaders like Tolle and Parker teach and empower us to be better people and be a contributor in building a better world.
For about the past 10 or 15 years....
I have had a request for myself: that I include in my reading ...at least once a year —
enlightening - uplifting- and spiritual books.... “read from the great spiritual leaders”.
‘Before’ my own calling came - late in life - ( reading called me late in life)...
I was constantly exploring transformation....with self and through organization.
The only books I read for pleasure during my young adult life were about awakening, consciousness, quality of life, meditation, well being, child development, nutrition, human growth, health, happiness, love, and full self expression.
Once I discovered the world of fiction, historical fiction,
and ‘stories’...( delicious storytelling),
I got away from reading books from our spiritual leaders and/ or nutritional leaders....
so as I mentioned about 10 or 15 years ago ...
I requested of myself that I not drop the ball completely...
So... at least once a year I make sure to read ‘something’ that taps into questions about my life’s purpose ...and how I might be a better human being.
Parker Palmer was new to me until months ago...a perfect-yearly- spiritual-choice.
He’s the real deal.
This was my second time reading one of his books.
Parker’s life journey and life’s work inspires.
This book is packed with truth.....
a gentle - non- preachy guidance through darkness into the lightness of finding one’s own calling.
Ha... and again... fortunately or unfortunately, it’s not something we can only ask of ourselves only one time in life.
It’s part of our life work.
Books like Parker’s... support us.
Once more - I have *Laysee *to thank for introducing Parker to me.
Thank You, Laysee!
Blessings to ongoing journeys: self & globally together.
Parker talks about the difference between a goal and a calling in relation to a vocation. ...
...listening to our inner truths....our gifts, our limitations, regrets and mistakes...in the area of vocation.
His shares about his own life’s journey with depression, ( the ultimate state of disconnection), and shares about his position in leadership, and his connection with community.
By Parker sharing his experiences....his trials and tribulations.. we contemplate the different perspectives on what empowers and what dis-empowers our own choices.
As he reflected on his human modesty - authenticity - and consciousness- in human responsibility... we do the same. We look into our own lives.
I especially resonated with this excerpt: Its one I’ve looked at and explored a few times with Elkhart Tolle in his book “A New Earth”... awakening to your life‘s purpose”:
“Without a global revolution in the sphere of human consciousness, nothing will change for the better...and the catastrophe toward which this world is headed weather it be it ecological, social, demographic, or a general breakdown of civilization, will be unavoidable”.
Parker, in much the same way as Tolle does...
asks us to look at our life’s purpose.
Ha.... unfortunately it’s not something we only do once!
At every age and stage of our lives - our purposes are evolving...
Leaders like Tolle and Parker teach and empower us to be better people and be a contributor in building a better world.
For about the past 10 or 15 years....
I have had a request for myself: that I include in my reading ...at least once a year —
enlightening - uplifting- and spiritual books.... “read from the great spiritual leaders”.
‘Before’ my own calling came - late in life - ( reading called me late in life)...
I was constantly exploring transformation....with self and through organization.
The only books I read for pleasure during my young adult life were about awakening, consciousness, quality of life, meditation, well being, child development, nutrition, human growth, health, happiness, love, and full self expression.
Once I discovered the world of fiction, historical fiction,
and ‘stories’...( delicious storytelling),
I got away from reading books from our spiritual leaders and/ or nutritional leaders....
so as I mentioned about 10 or 15 years ago ...
I requested of myself that I not drop the ball completely...
So... at least once a year I make sure to read ‘something’ that taps into questions about my life’s purpose ...and how I might be a better human being.
Parker Palmer was new to me until months ago...a perfect-yearly- spiritual-choice.
He’s the real deal.
This was my second time reading one of his books.
Parker’s life journey and life’s work inspires.
This book is packed with truth.....
a gentle - non- preachy guidance through darkness into the lightness of finding one’s own calling.
Ha... and again... fortunately or unfortunately, it’s not something we can only ask of ourselves only one time in life.
It’s part of our life work.
Books like Parker’s... support us.
Once more - I have *Laysee *to thank for introducing Parker to me.
Thank You, Laysee!
Blessings to ongoing journeys: self & globally together.
July 29, 2019
Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation is an insightful discourse on discovering one’s true self and vocation.
Many of us would be familiar with the experience of striving to live up to the expectations of others. We may even have made career choices or decisions that are far removed from who we really are. Parker J. Palmer invites us to reclaim the gift of our true selves. What I truly appreciated is Parker’s honest sharing of the detours he had taken before he found his true calling. It was good to learn that doors that are closed provide guidance too. Parker shared how opportunities that were denied him opened doors to others that enabled him to use his natural gifts and tap his potential. According to Parker, ”True vocation joins self and service.” He quoted Frederick Buechner, another of my best loved authors, who said that true vocation is “where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep needs.” How wonderful! There is certainly truth in this.
In one of six chapters, ‘All the Way Down,’ Parker wrote movingly about his clinical depression and what helpful responses looked like to a depressed person. It was eye opening to learn how the support some well-meaning friends extended to him (e.g., simplistic religious or scientific 'fix it' explanations) sadly drove him deeper into depression. He shed light on the kind of respectful support that brought healing. This chapter alone made this book extremely powerful and worthwhile.
My favorite chapter is the last titled, ‘There Is A Season.’ Parker used seasons as a metaphor for the movement of life. The cycle of our life mirrors the four seasons of the year and Parker wrote about the unique beauty in each season in language that was exquisite and elegant. He said, "The notion that our lives are like the eternal cycle of the seasons does not deny the struggle or the joy, the loss or the gain, the darkness or the light, but encourages us to embrace it all - and to find in all of it opportunities for growth.”
Parker has a gift of distilling the insights he gained from difficult circumstances and challenges he encountered. In introspect, he was able to recall them to himself and to us with a good dose of humor. There was a hilarious account of his first Outward Bound experience and a moment of epiphany that crystallized for him a life motto, which I too can use: "If you can't get out of it, get into it."
Again, as in the first Parker book I read, On the Brink of Everything, I refrain from quoting too much from this book in hope that others will read it for themselves. At only 115 pages, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation is a tightly written book full of wisdom and gentle reflection on the importance of being true to who we are and living the best life we can. Highly recommended.
Special thanks to my friend, Yim Harn, for loaning me her copy of this book and, most of all, for introducing me to Parker Palmer, who has become an esteemed mentor.
Many of us would be familiar with the experience of striving to live up to the expectations of others. We may even have made career choices or decisions that are far removed from who we really are. Parker J. Palmer invites us to reclaim the gift of our true selves. What I truly appreciated is Parker’s honest sharing of the detours he had taken before he found his true calling. It was good to learn that doors that are closed provide guidance too. Parker shared how opportunities that were denied him opened doors to others that enabled him to use his natural gifts and tap his potential. According to Parker, ”True vocation joins self and service.” He quoted Frederick Buechner, another of my best loved authors, who said that true vocation is “where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep needs.” How wonderful! There is certainly truth in this.
In one of six chapters, ‘All the Way Down,’ Parker wrote movingly about his clinical depression and what helpful responses looked like to a depressed person. It was eye opening to learn how the support some well-meaning friends extended to him (e.g., simplistic religious or scientific 'fix it' explanations) sadly drove him deeper into depression. He shed light on the kind of respectful support that brought healing. This chapter alone made this book extremely powerful and worthwhile.
My favorite chapter is the last titled, ‘There Is A Season.’ Parker used seasons as a metaphor for the movement of life. The cycle of our life mirrors the four seasons of the year and Parker wrote about the unique beauty in each season in language that was exquisite and elegant. He said, "The notion that our lives are like the eternal cycle of the seasons does not deny the struggle or the joy, the loss or the gain, the darkness or the light, but encourages us to embrace it all - and to find in all of it opportunities for growth.”
Parker has a gift of distilling the insights he gained from difficult circumstances and challenges he encountered. In introspect, he was able to recall them to himself and to us with a good dose of humor. There was a hilarious account of his first Outward Bound experience and a moment of epiphany that crystallized for him a life motto, which I too can use: "If you can't get out of it, get into it."
Again, as in the first Parker book I read, On the Brink of Everything, I refrain from quoting too much from this book in hope that others will read it for themselves. At only 115 pages, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation is a tightly written book full of wisdom and gentle reflection on the importance of being true to who we are and living the best life we can. Highly recommended.
Special thanks to my friend, Yim Harn, for loaning me her copy of this book and, most of all, for introducing me to Parker Palmer, who has become an esteemed mentor.
January 31, 2012
A friend whose Spiritual walk has given me a deeper understanding of courage and integrity suggested I may like this little book. I quickly became aware that the only thing diminutive about this tome was its size. When I began reading it, given the few pages it contained and the dimensions of those pages, I thought I would be finished reading it in a few hours. I spent 30 minutes reading the first five pages, I would read a paragraph and stare into the Middle Distance for five minutes considering what I had read and tracking its course through my body. Dr. Palmer writes so well that his words have the kind of power that can be physically felt.
Parker Palmer is an author whose writing has received multiple awards, recognitions and other well deserved kudos. What he writes speaks to the core of human existence with a hope founded in truth and reality. A Quaker by religious tradition, he invites the reader into the quiet knowing that is the heart of that faith system. This book is not about religious instruction; however, it is about life instruction, as cliché as that sounds. He confronts long held notions of success and “calling” by asking simple questions. Those simple questions were the cause of the frequent moments of “listening” I had while reading this book.
One of the privileges available to many of us is a plethora of choices of vocation (life’s work) we feel we have. The idea that “anyone can be anything they want to be if they strive for it hard enough” has caused more pain, depression and dissatisfaction than can be best related in this short narrative. Inherent in such statements is, if you do “succeed” in becoming that which you had dreamt of becoming but find dissatisfaction instead of fulfillment, then guilt is induced. However, if the dream is left unfulfilled, then it is because one did not work hard enough for it.
Dr. Palmer suggests learning to “listen to one’s life” in deciding the direction of one’s life rather than to the “shoulds,” “oughts” and “supposed to’s” often learned by the time we are in high school. This is done by being conscious of the successes (what brings one joy and fulfillment) as well as those moments when close in our faces. His opening statement is the heart of the remainder of the book, “the life I am living is not the same as the life that wants to live in me” (p. 2). The following chapters speak to the possibility of discovering the Life one’s life is trying to live. This process is neither a “to do list” nor does it offer steps for one to follow to come upon The Answer for which one has been searching; it is too intuitive and personal for such sterile maneuvers. This is a matter of listening, being honest and courageous enough to follow ones discovered path.
The chapters are gathered from previous writings Dr. Palmer penned for various publications and lectures but edited for a coherent, well-developed discourse on an important concept. There is no judgment or coercion in the course of the book which speaks to the author’s talent. I found it to be deeply spiritual but not religious; the author speaks of his Quaker faith but does so to “flesh out” the point he was making. In lesser hands his self-revelations could become a source of conceit; here they serve to give depth to the truths he is holding forth.
Reading this book requires: an open heart, a willingness to learn, a desire to listen and a fresh highlighter.
Parker Palmer is an author whose writing has received multiple awards, recognitions and other well deserved kudos. What he writes speaks to the core of human existence with a hope founded in truth and reality. A Quaker by religious tradition, he invites the reader into the quiet knowing that is the heart of that faith system. This book is not about religious instruction; however, it is about life instruction, as cliché as that sounds. He confronts long held notions of success and “calling” by asking simple questions. Those simple questions were the cause of the frequent moments of “listening” I had while reading this book.
One of the privileges available to many of us is a plethora of choices of vocation (life’s work) we feel we have. The idea that “anyone can be anything they want to be if they strive for it hard enough” has caused more pain, depression and dissatisfaction than can be best related in this short narrative. Inherent in such statements is, if you do “succeed” in becoming that which you had dreamt of becoming but find dissatisfaction instead of fulfillment, then guilt is induced. However, if the dream is left unfulfilled, then it is because one did not work hard enough for it.
Dr. Palmer suggests learning to “listen to one’s life” in deciding the direction of one’s life rather than to the “shoulds,” “oughts” and “supposed to’s” often learned by the time we are in high school. This is done by being conscious of the successes (what brings one joy and fulfillment) as well as those moments when close in our faces. His opening statement is the heart of the remainder of the book, “the life I am living is not the same as the life that wants to live in me” (p. 2). The following chapters speak to the possibility of discovering the Life one’s life is trying to live. This process is neither a “to do list” nor does it offer steps for one to follow to come upon The Answer for which one has been searching; it is too intuitive and personal for such sterile maneuvers. This is a matter of listening, being honest and courageous enough to follow ones discovered path.
The chapters are gathered from previous writings Dr. Palmer penned for various publications and lectures but edited for a coherent, well-developed discourse on an important concept. There is no judgment or coercion in the course of the book which speaks to the author’s talent. I found it to be deeply spiritual but not religious; the author speaks of his Quaker faith but does so to “flesh out” the point he was making. In lesser hands his self-revelations could become a source of conceit; here they serve to give depth to the truths he is holding forth.
Reading this book requires: an open heart, a willingness to learn, a desire to listen and a fresh highlighter.
December 24, 2009
When you're totally confused about a major life issue, it's so much nicer to think about what you're going through as a "process of discernment" rather than just a mess. I really appreciate Parker Palmer's gentle, thoughtful way of exploring how to make choices by being our best, truest selves, instead of thinking about what we should do or what we think other people want us to do. He also explores depression as a way of discovering that true self; not that he recommends becoming depressed, but he sees the possibility that depression can be a journey toward a sort of wholeness, and points out that it always has something to teach us.
February 3, 2019
A meaningful little book talking about the importance of letting your life speak. Even though I read this for class, I'm glad it was required because I felt like Palmer was talking to me - he's incredibly open and honest about his own struggles. Lovely read!
February 14, 2022
Recommended by my priest, Fr. David. Many good insights about the concept of true self and vocation. The author talks honestly about himself in a quasi autobiography.
It seems like there is a trend to title a book using the second person, when the author really writes about himself or herself. I understand that your own experience is the only one you have, but if you want to write a book about vocation, why not go out and interview people about their experiences, too?
“My struggle with my life choices and with my depression, and the way I finally found a satisfying narrative to integrate my life” would have been a more honest and accurate, although not very marketable, title for this book.
I found some of the content wise and useful, but I didn’t find anything original, and I highlighted a few portions as too vague and abstract to be helpful.
I’m reading Dante with great depth in these months, and although any author pales when compared to Dante, I have to say that Palmer’s book strikes me as saying with the strength of a little candle the same things that 700 years ago Dante said with the power of 1,000 volcanos erupting at the same time. And, before him, the sacred scriptures.
Prayer, reflecting on humility and on the gospel, the writings of the fathers of the church (and the saints!) remain the best ways to understand your true self.
…. and reading Dante, of course!
It seems like there is a trend to title a book using the second person, when the author really writes about himself or herself. I understand that your own experience is the only one you have, but if you want to write a book about vocation, why not go out and interview people about their experiences, too?
“My struggle with my life choices and with my depression, and the way I finally found a satisfying narrative to integrate my life” would have been a more honest and accurate, although not very marketable, title for this book.
I found some of the content wise and useful, but I didn’t find anything original, and I highlighted a few portions as too vague and abstract to be helpful.
I’m reading Dante with great depth in these months, and although any author pales when compared to Dante, I have to say that Palmer’s book strikes me as saying with the strength of a little candle the same things that 700 years ago Dante said with the power of 1,000 volcanos erupting at the same time. And, before him, the sacred scriptures.
Prayer, reflecting on humility and on the gospel, the writings of the fathers of the church (and the saints!) remain the best ways to understand your true self.
…. and reading Dante, of course!
January 19, 2012
I was reluctant to read this in a time when so few jobs are available; wouldn't it be worse to know my "calling" when there's little or no opportunity to practice it? In fact, there is no better book to help me confront and enlighten such pessimism. No matter if I never find a dream job, I still have a vocation. Palmer writes about big ideas in a small, quiet, reflective tone; I can't wait to read more of his work.
Though his book was given to me at an Episcopal group for underemployed recession-era 20-somethings, I recommend this highly to people of all ages, career statuses - and beliefs. Don't let the publisher-imposed genre, "SPIRITUALITY," sway you, as there is nothing faith-focused in subject or preachy in tone. Palmer, an education advisor and Quaker, shares contemplative, humble ideas about how to change our attitudes towards jobs and work and make sure that our lives, working and at play, suit our personalities and values.
Though his book was given to me at an Episcopal group for underemployed recession-era 20-somethings, I recommend this highly to people of all ages, career statuses - and beliefs. Don't let the publisher-imposed genre, "SPIRITUALITY," sway you, as there is nothing faith-focused in subject or preachy in tone. Palmer, an education advisor and Quaker, shares contemplative, humble ideas about how to change our attitudes towards jobs and work and make sure that our lives, working and at play, suit our personalities and values.
June 14, 2010
I tried to like this book because Palmer had some really good messages to get across, but unfortunately I found his writing way too self-indulgent and dramatic. The book is barely over 100 pages but it took me forever to read because I kept getting so frustrated and annoyed with the author's voice. I also disagreed with the main premise of the book that we all have a destiny....I think we make our own.
October 20, 2014
This is a small book both in page count and actual size but it packs much thought-provoking, soulful stuff. I took notes in my journal in order to be able to return the book to the library on time. Originally, I wanted to read it because I am one of those birds who---no matter how many years I live---I am always trying to ascertain if I am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing! This book doesn't talk about "vocation" as one's fantasy job or bread and butter career, but more about who we are when not clothed in our self-important worldly roles and garb. I was particularly drawn to how the author talked about having "an inflated ego that led me to think more of myself than was warranted in order to mask my fear that I was less than I should have been." Parker J. Palmer's writing style is very compassionate, loving, and yet clear-eyed. He encourages us to embrace the full paradox of our being, and reminds us that "We are here not only to transform the world but also to be transformed."
August 20, 2007
There seems to be an epidemic of inflicting this drivel on poor recent graduates. DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK AS A GIFT FOR ANYONE THAT YOU KNOW! It is meaningless, cliche, indulgent, and ultimately preaches a very self-focused message. There are so many better ways to figure out what to do with your life than reading Palmer's inane prattling.
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October 12, 2024I must leave this book unrated because I left such a long time between reading the first part to the second that I no longer know what the actual message is supposed to be.
However, I can find the autumn - or shall I say the dark October in about anything:
“Why must we go in and down? Because as we do so, we will meet the darkness that we carry within ourselves—the ultimate source of the shadows that we project onto other people. If we do not understand that the enemy is within, we will find a thousand ways of making someone ‘out there’ into the enemy, becoming leaders who oppress rather than liberate others.”
However, I can find the autumn - or shall I say the dark October in about anything:
“Why must we go in and down? Because as we do so, we will meet the darkness that we carry within ourselves—the ultimate source of the shadows that we project onto other people. If we do not understand that the enemy is within, we will find a thousand ways of making someone ‘out there’ into the enemy, becoming leaders who oppress rather than liberate others.”
November 12, 2012
a book which posits a question that it doesn't quite answer: how is one to know one's vocation when it calls?
at a certain point in life, those of us who have not found perfect satisfaction with life start asking Big Questions: what am i here for? how can i find my purpose, since my dissatisfaction is evidence that heretofore i have not? what can i know with certainty about choosing a new path to set my feet upon?
this is not the same question as: what job should i be doing? vocation and bill-paying are not perforce the same thing.
this book, near as i can figure, is an attempt to answer the question of how one is to know one's vocation. any attempt to answer a Big Question is grappling with a nebulous monster, and i respect all heartfelt attempts to do so. Big Questions are not amenable to checklists and quick fixes, and Palmer, to his credit, does not even consider approaching this one in that way. too, i believe he did approach the writing of this book with an earnest heart--he is trying to articulate the hard lessons he has learned in a way that will be helpful.
but still, the book is kind of a muddle, or perhaps a Zen koan of an answer. Palmer tries to show the path in part by the example of his own life, which is instructive only to a point. he is much more eloquent on what to avoid than on what to pursue.
i think for a young person, grappling with Big Questions for the first time with perhaps inadequate tools, there are some capital-T Truths to be gained here. you are not the faces you assume. you will not find fulfillment in the dreams of others, nor in avoiding unpleasant but fundamental facts about your own nature. those are important things to learn, but they are from my vantage point long in the rear-view; what i need is to look forward, and this book does not much help me with that.
so, for the young 'uns--you cannot at all be harmed by this book, and in all probability you will be helped; but for those of us with a few more winters behind us, you will probably not find the illumination you seek.
at a certain point in life, those of us who have not found perfect satisfaction with life start asking Big Questions: what am i here for? how can i find my purpose, since my dissatisfaction is evidence that heretofore i have not? what can i know with certainty about choosing a new path to set my feet upon?
this is not the same question as: what job should i be doing? vocation and bill-paying are not perforce the same thing.
this book, near as i can figure, is an attempt to answer the question of how one is to know one's vocation. any attempt to answer a Big Question is grappling with a nebulous monster, and i respect all heartfelt attempts to do so. Big Questions are not amenable to checklists and quick fixes, and Palmer, to his credit, does not even consider approaching this one in that way. too, i believe he did approach the writing of this book with an earnest heart--he is trying to articulate the hard lessons he has learned in a way that will be helpful.
but still, the book is kind of a muddle, or perhaps a Zen koan of an answer. Palmer tries to show the path in part by the example of his own life, which is instructive only to a point. he is much more eloquent on what to avoid than on what to pursue.
i think for a young person, grappling with Big Questions for the first time with perhaps inadequate tools, there are some capital-T Truths to be gained here. you are not the faces you assume. you will not find fulfillment in the dreams of others, nor in avoiding unpleasant but fundamental facts about your own nature. those are important things to learn, but they are from my vantage point long in the rear-view; what i need is to look forward, and this book does not much help me with that.
so, for the young 'uns--you cannot at all be harmed by this book, and in all probability you will be helped; but for those of us with a few more winters behind us, you will probably not find the illumination you seek.
December 28, 2018
I read it because Kristin Tippet suggested it on a recent podcast and it was fantastic. I wish I had read it earlier in my life--perhaps it would have helped me as I made decisions. I will recommend that my students and my daughters read it as they struggle to find their vocation.
January 6, 2024
Audio. DNF yawn
May 26, 2007
With warmth and wisdom throughout, Palmer describes in a most linear fashion his own triumphs and travails from institutions of many kinds: social, spiritual, and higher education. He is as inclined to quote some calming poetry as he is to lecture on leadership. He taps all the right people for their own thoughts on life and leading (Buechner, Dillard, Rilke, Rumi) and organizes the book's five chapters beneath simple metaphors--the changing of seasons, and those in one's life. He loves an analogy but staves off the hokey stuff.
Some will brand his style of writing and leadership to be simplistic for this less-than-utopic world, but very real strength and endurance seep through Palmer's pages to let the reader know that he's been in some precarious spots and lived to tell the tales. He does so from a professional-cum-personal standpoint that makes him highly readable and refreshing when so many other writers on leadership give us models for self-salvation or "principles" on how to get what we want, in so many words. Palmer is quick--and right--to dismiss this "power of positive thinking" as a waste of time. He doesn't have time for such tricks; he's lived too long and seen too much for that.
So yes, it's an easy little jam of a read, quick and simple. Leave it to the Quaker to pull no punches. He has some great insights about institutions and learning and vocation, as expected from the title, but he doesn't gloss over the dark times of his own life--depression and the like--but rather reveals plainly what these times meant for him and who he is today as a man and leader. He does all of this with a gentle wit and candor that's refreshing and lacking a hint of pretention. A lot of self-fashioned spiritual "leaders," many of whom have never met a stage or a microphone that they didn't like, could stand to learn from this candid prose and elegant man. The same is true for the everyday denizen such as you and me too. Give Palmer's peace a chance.
Some will brand his style of writing and leadership to be simplistic for this less-than-utopic world, but very real strength and endurance seep through Palmer's pages to let the reader know that he's been in some precarious spots and lived to tell the tales. He does so from a professional-cum-personal standpoint that makes him highly readable and refreshing when so many other writers on leadership give us models for self-salvation or "principles" on how to get what we want, in so many words. Palmer is quick--and right--to dismiss this "power of positive thinking" as a waste of time. He doesn't have time for such tricks; he's lived too long and seen too much for that.
So yes, it's an easy little jam of a read, quick and simple. Leave it to the Quaker to pull no punches. He has some great insights about institutions and learning and vocation, as expected from the title, but he doesn't gloss over the dark times of his own life--depression and the like--but rather reveals plainly what these times meant for him and who he is today as a man and leader. He does all of this with a gentle wit and candor that's refreshing and lacking a hint of pretention. A lot of self-fashioned spiritual "leaders," many of whom have never met a stage or a microphone that they didn't like, could stand to learn from this candid prose and elegant man. The same is true for the everyday denizen such as you and me too. Give Palmer's peace a chance.
December 18, 2010
Awful, awful, awful. Since reading, my life has been speaking a lot. It keeps asking me why I subjected myself to this.
February 21, 2018
A Great Set of Ideals From an Author Who Knows What It's Like to Go Up and Down
Don't let the cover and the title let you think otherwise - this is not a soft feel-good book. It is soft at times, and it can make you feel good - but Parker J. Palmer has had his share of ups and downs. Job changes, life changes, hospitalizations that he thought he could not escape - he's seen quite a bit.
What are his lessons?
There are too many to mention here but here are a few -
Don't let anyone tell you what you are - don't wear another's face
This happens to us all of course - we are shaped by society and by others. But still - try not to wear another's face at all times. We have to put them on every day of course - but make sure you find a way to take it off at least.
The Quaker ideal of making a Clearness Committee is pretty interesting
The name Clearness Committee sounds dubious - but it actually makes sense. Any life decision you make - bring it up with friends. They can not proffer advice - but must ask you questions for three hours. It actually leads to some great insights.
Leadership takes many forms
Parker Palmer was offered the presidency of a small college and he turned it down because - after talking with his Clearness Committee - he realized he only wanted it to get his name in the paper.
He would have had to give up writing to do this - perhaps writing this book. He led in a different way, on a smaller level perhaps - but he found his own way of leading.
The Western Industrial Society changes how we see things
His last chapter is on seasons - talking about how farming societies see the world with its ups and downs in different ways. Industrial societies 'make things happen' - so the mantra is to 'make something of yourself.' That's not necessarily a bad way of looking at things - but the seasons way of looking at things - seeing how the hard times in life, ie Autumn, are often the times where great seeds are sewn.
Bad times are valuable
Parker Palmer knows the value of bad times - they are not always to be avoided - because they bring great truths.
Conclusion
This is a great book - I highly recommend it!
Don't let the cover and the title let you think otherwise - this is not a soft feel-good book. It is soft at times, and it can make you feel good - but Parker J. Palmer has had his share of ups and downs. Job changes, life changes, hospitalizations that he thought he could not escape - he's seen quite a bit.
What are his lessons?
There are too many to mention here but here are a few -
Don't let anyone tell you what you are - don't wear another's face
This happens to us all of course - we are shaped by society and by others. But still - try not to wear another's face at all times. We have to put them on every day of course - but make sure you find a way to take it off at least.
The Quaker ideal of making a Clearness Committee is pretty interesting
The name Clearness Committee sounds dubious - but it actually makes sense. Any life decision you make - bring it up with friends. They can not proffer advice - but must ask you questions for three hours. It actually leads to some great insights.
Leadership takes many forms
Parker Palmer was offered the presidency of a small college and he turned it down because - after talking with his Clearness Committee - he realized he only wanted it to get his name in the paper.
He would have had to give up writing to do this - perhaps writing this book. He led in a different way, on a smaller level perhaps - but he found his own way of leading.
The Western Industrial Society changes how we see things
His last chapter is on seasons - talking about how farming societies see the world with its ups and downs in different ways. Industrial societies 'make things happen' - so the mantra is to 'make something of yourself.' That's not necessarily a bad way of looking at things - but the seasons way of looking at things - seeing how the hard times in life, ie Autumn, are often the times where great seeds are sewn.
Bad times are valuable
Parker Palmer knows the value of bad times - they are not always to be avoided - because they bring great truths.
Conclusion
This is a great book - I highly recommend it!
July 2, 2016
I was able to glean some interesting things to ponder from this book despite some significant (in my mind) differences in the worldviews of the author and myself.
First, he inserted a few unneeded political comments. It doesn't change his ideas or material but it did leave a sour feeling as I read since I disagreed strongly.
Secondly, he seems to be quite a mystical person. This clashes with my personality and worldview as I am primarily analytical and practical. Imagery, abstraction, and allegory are wonderful tools of writing, but only in the context of practical thought and narrative. He seems to live in the world of abstraction and it took me way too much brain power to figure out what he was really trying to say.
Thirdly, it appears (I'm not say this is what he intended) that he is pushing determinism. The idea that God has one calling for your life and if you don't find it and live it, you'll be unhappy. That God created your self, mind, and body for one purpose. It may be true, but it ignores our free will.
Finally, this is what I gleaned:
Looking at the common threads in your past can help you discover your passion. Not your calling necessarily, but your passion.
Sometimes, God leads by closing doors instead of opening them. It's not usually what we're praying for but it is a way that God leads.
There is a season for everything. There will be times of hardship and despair that require faithfulness. There will be times of growth where we can be excited as we witness our productivity. There will be times of harvest, where we can rest in the abundance of God. And there will be times of waiting in the broiling sun, where all it is being asked of us it to wait patiently on God.
Overall, I would not recommend this book unless you are a mystical person or think well with imagery and abstraction with little practical thought. However, if you choose to read it, take notes. There are things to be learned from this little book.
First, he inserted a few unneeded political comments. It doesn't change his ideas or material but it did leave a sour feeling as I read since I disagreed strongly.
Secondly, he seems to be quite a mystical person. This clashes with my personality and worldview as I am primarily analytical and practical. Imagery, abstraction, and allegory are wonderful tools of writing, but only in the context of practical thought and narrative. He seems to live in the world of abstraction and it took me way too much brain power to figure out what he was really trying to say.
Thirdly, it appears (I'm not say this is what he intended) that he is pushing determinism. The idea that God has one calling for your life and if you don't find it and live it, you'll be unhappy. That God created your self, mind, and body for one purpose. It may be true, but it ignores our free will.
Finally, this is what I gleaned:
Looking at the common threads in your past can help you discover your passion. Not your calling necessarily, but your passion.
Sometimes, God leads by closing doors instead of opening them. It's not usually what we're praying for but it is a way that God leads.
There is a season for everything. There will be times of hardship and despair that require faithfulness. There will be times of growth where we can be excited as we witness our productivity. There will be times of harvest, where we can rest in the abundance of God. And there will be times of waiting in the broiling sun, where all it is being asked of us it to wait patiently on God.
Overall, I would not recommend this book unless you are a mystical person or think well with imagery and abstraction with little practical thought. However, if you choose to read it, take notes. There are things to be learned from this little book.
March 24, 2012
This is a deeply spiritual book (though not necessarily religious) about discovering and listening to those promptings that guide us towards our unique life's purpose. It is a sad book for in reading you will see the many times you ignored Life's call. But it is also full of hope, life-affirming, life changing hope. For there is yet time. There is all the time you need.
April 28, 2025
Reading this book feels like coming home to yourself. Palmer's writing weaves in his personal story, including his struggles and discernment, to living in a way that was arising from his true self and vocation. I was particularly touched by his story about his granddaughter, as he watched her growing up. We are born not as blank canvases, but as specific, gifted individuals. Though we can often lose our ways in our 20s, 30s, 40s, living up to an idea of "vocation" that is just slightly out of our reach. Do we live life by a series of "oughts", what we ought to do or be? Or do we listen to the voice we already have—being animated by our gifts, passions, and inclinations? How do we come home to who we are? In the end, we aren't called to be the giants we look up to, we are just called to be authentically ourselves. A balm for the soul. Lots to think about and of course, live into on my own!
December 25, 2014
Why you should read this book:
"Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you. Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent."
"Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling the who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live — but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life."
"We are disabused of original giftedness in the first half of our lives. Then — if we are awake, aware, and able to admit our loss — we spend the second half trying to recover and reclaim the gift we once possessed."
"That concept of vocation is rooted in a deep distrust of selfhood, in the belief that the sinful self will always be “self-ish” unless corrected by external forces of virtue. It is a notion that made me feel inadequate to the task of living my own life, creating guilt about the distance between who I was and who I was supposed to be, leaving me exhausted as I labored to close the gap.
Today I understand vocation quite differently — not as a goal to be achieved but as a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice “out there” calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice “in here” calling me to be the person I was born to be."
Why wouldn't you read this book?
"Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you. Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent."
"Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling the who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live — but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life."
"We are disabused of original giftedness in the first half of our lives. Then — if we are awake, aware, and able to admit our loss — we spend the second half trying to recover and reclaim the gift we once possessed."
"That concept of vocation is rooted in a deep distrust of selfhood, in the belief that the sinful self will always be “self-ish” unless corrected by external forces of virtue. It is a notion that made me feel inadequate to the task of living my own life, creating guilt about the distance between who I was and who I was supposed to be, leaving me exhausted as I labored to close the gap.
Today I understand vocation quite differently — not as a goal to be achieved but as a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice “out there” calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice “in here” calling me to be the person I was born to be."
Why wouldn't you read this book?
January 25, 2022
The organization that I work for has its team members read this at the conclusion of their year. After reading it first as a team member myself two summers ago and again this year alongside my own team members, I have only a deeper appreciation for the wisdom and thoughtfulness crammed into this surprisingly short, digestible book. This time around, my reading was paired with a recent spike in curiosity around Quaker spirituality, which I think only added to my enjoyment of the book.
As a whole, I would describe this as a gentle exhortation into the "downward and inward" journey of doing the inner work in order to exist in the world a truer, more integrated version of the self God created us to be. I loved Palmer's articulation around the importance of not just shoehorning our lives to fit a mold we think is right (or even good) but actually listening to our lives and embracing integrity as our guiding principle. I think he did a good job of protecting his writing from being prescriptive rather than descriptive around depression, allowing it to yield meaningful wisdom without coming across like he was undermining the pain of it or encouraging people to seek it out. The ideas around consciousness preceding being and that being key to our participation in creating the world we live in were also especially resonant and exciting for me, and I enjoyed the metaphors of the seasons at the end. If anything, my main critique of the book is that it feels a bit meandering and incohesive, more like a collection of individual essays rather than a fluid idea that builds as it goes. Thankfully, each of those individual essays are brilliant and thoughtful and compelling, so it's not a real problem for me!
As a whole, I would describe this as a gentle exhortation into the "downward and inward" journey of doing the inner work in order to exist in the world a truer, more integrated version of the self God created us to be. I loved Palmer's articulation around the importance of not just shoehorning our lives to fit a mold we think is right (or even good) but actually listening to our lives and embracing integrity as our guiding principle. I think he did a good job of protecting his writing from being prescriptive rather than descriptive around depression, allowing it to yield meaningful wisdom without coming across like he was undermining the pain of it or encouraging people to seek it out. The ideas around consciousness preceding being and that being key to our participation in creating the world we live in were also especially resonant and exciting for me, and I enjoyed the metaphors of the seasons at the end. If anything, my main critique of the book is that it feels a bit meandering and incohesive, more like a collection of individual essays rather than a fluid idea that builds as it goes. Thankfully, each of those individual essays are brilliant and thoughtful and compelling, so it's not a real problem for me!
February 11, 2015
The bad: unapologetically postmodernist in its humanism, often seeming as though it's appropriating Christian language for a universalist, new-age, postmodernist moral - the same mantra all millennials grew up with (and, in my opinion, are being wrecked by): be true to yourself, as though all the raw material for fulfilled personhood is inherent solely in the individual. He even implies a distrust of any external voice in the discernment of personal calling - something which I find altogether terrifying. This is rank with individualism and tabula-rasa-inspired, clichéd ideas.
The good: really, REALLY makes you think and reconsider the trajectory of your life. While the extent of his self-actualization is too far-reaching in my opinion, the consequential self-awareness and introspection is wonderful. He doesn't paint exclusively with bright colors, but delves into the likelihood and usefulness of depression.
I read this for a class on vocational discernment in addition to "Under the Unpredictable Plant" by Eugene Peterson, which I thoroughly preferred.
The good: really, REALLY makes you think and reconsider the trajectory of your life. While the extent of his self-actualization is too far-reaching in my opinion, the consequential self-awareness and introspection is wonderful. He doesn't paint exclusively with bright colors, but delves into the likelihood and usefulness of depression.
I read this for a class on vocational discernment in addition to "Under the Unpredictable Plant" by Eugene Peterson, which I thoroughly preferred.
June 23, 2012
It was fine. Some interesting insights & a few "bumper sticker" quotes, but I didn't feel like it really addressed the process of discovering your vocation. Some pop psychology advice about listening for your inner voice, but really, this was a lot fluffier than I expected from someone whom a great many of my smartest friends admire so much. At least it was short...maybe that should have been my first clue.
March 30, 2022
4.5
I read this little gem in 2 bites in the middle of 2 nights.
Excerpts:
Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intense to do with you. Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, but your life tell you what treats you and body, what values you represent.
Vocation does not come from willfulness. It comes from listening. I must listen to my life and try to understand what it is truly about – quite apart from what I would like it to be about – or my life will never represent anything real in the world, no matter how earnest my intentions.
The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy. If we want to see a wild animal, the last thing we should do is go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out.
Location is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received.
We find our callings by claiming authentic selfhood, by being who we are. The deepest vocational question is not what ought I to do with my life. It is more elemental and demanding who am I? What is my nature?
True vocation joins self and service, as Frederick Buechner asserts when he defines vocation as “the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.”
The ancient tradition of pilgrimage – a transformative journey to a sacred center full of hardships, darkness, and peril. In the tradition of pilgrimage, those hardships are seeing that is accidental but as integral to the journey itself.
I had never stopped being a teacher – I was simply teaching in a classroom without walls. In fact, I could have done no other: teaching, I was coming to understand, is my native way of being in the world.
Vocation at its deepest level is, this is something I can’t not do, for reasons I’m unable to explain to anyone else and don’t fully understand myself but that are nonetheless compelling.
Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give up the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.
What we see is simple but often ignored: The movements that transform us, our relations, and our world emerge from the lives of people who decide to care for their authentic self hood.
Make a critical decision to no longer act on the outside in a way that contradicts some truth about yourself that you hold deeply on the inside. Your decision will ripple out to transform the society in which you live, serving the selfhood of millions of others.
The punishment imposed on us for claiming true self can never be worse than the punishment we pose on ourselves by failing to make that claim. And the converse is true as well: no reward anyone might give us could possibly be greater than the reward that comes from living by our own best lights.
The attempt to live by the reality of our own nature, which means our limits as well as our potentials, is a profoundly moral regimen. For a good man to realize that it is better to be whole than to be good is to enter on the straight and narrow path compared to which his previous rectitude was flowery license.
My gift is a teacher is the ability to dance with my students, to teach and learn with them through dialogue and interaction. When they refuse to dance, when my gift is denied, things start to become messy. When I understand this liability as a trade-off for my strengths, something new and liberating arises with me in me. I no longer want to have my liability fixed by learning how to dance solo, for example, when no one wants to dance with me. Instead I want to learn how to respond more gracefully to students who refuse to dance, not projecting my limitation on them but embracing it as part of myself.
Embracing the mystery of depression does not mean passive a day or resignation. It means moving into a field of force as that seems alien but is in fact one’s deepest self. That means waiting watching listening suffering and gathering whatever self knowledge one can and then making choices based on that knowledge, no matter how difficult. One begins to slow walk back to health by choosing each day things that enliven one’s self hood and resisting things that do not.
Blessedly there were several people who had the courage to stand with me in a simple and healing way. One of them with a friend who having asked my permission to do so, stopped by my home every afternoon, sent me down in a chair, knelt in front of me, removed my shoes and socks, and for half an hour simply massaged my feet. He found the one place in my body where I could still experience feeling and feel so much reconnected with the human race.
Rilke describes a kind of love that neither avoids nor invades the soul’s suffering. It is a love in which we represent God’s love to a suffering person, a God who does not fix us but gives us strength by suffering with us. “Love… Consists in this, that two solitudes protect and border and salute each other.” By standing respectfully and faithfully at the borders of another’s solitude, we may mediate the love of God to a person who needs something deeper than any human being can give.
After hours of careful listening, my therapist offered an image that helped me eventually reclaim my life. You seem to look upon depression as the hand of an enemy trying to crush you. Do you think you could see it instead as a hand of a friend, pressing you down to ground on which it is safe to stand?
I have been living in ungrounded like living at an altitude that was inherently unsafe. When we slip, as we always do, we have a long way to fall, and the landing they will kill us. The grace of being pressed to the ground is also simple: when we slip and fall it is usually not fatal, and we can get back up. I was living like this because I have been trained as an intellectual not only to think but also to live largely in my head the place in the human body furthest from the ground. Also, my ego was inflated which led me to think more of myself then was warranted in order to mask my fear that I am less than I should be. If things I ought to do don’t fit my God-given nature and my gift and call, they are doomed to fail.
The “befriending” impulse behind my depression. from early in my life, a friendly figure, standing a block away, was trying to get my attention by shouting my name, wanting to teach me some hard but healing truths about myself.
Pp. 68-70
You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done your fierce with reality. I now know myself to be a person of weakness and strength, liability and giftedness, darkness and light. I now know that to be whole means to reject none of it but to embrace all of it.
Embracing one’s wholeness makes life more demanding – because once you do that, you must live your whole life. One of the most painful discoveries I made in the midst of the dark woods of depression was that a part of me wanted to stay depressed. As long as I clung to this living death, life became easier; little was expected of me, certainly not serving others.
It has also given us something positive: A special capacity to look from time to time somewhat further than those who have not undergone this bitter experience. Someone who cannot move and live in normal life because he’s been under a boulder has more time to think about his hopes than someone who is not trapped in this way.
Two crucial features of any spiritual journey: one is that it will take us in word and download for the hardest realities of our lives rather than outward and upward toward abstraction idealization and exhortation. The spiritual journey runs counter to the power of positive thinking. Why go in and down? Because as we do, we will meet the darkness that we carry within ourselves – the ultimate source of the shadows that we projected onto other people. If we do not understand the enemy is within, we will find 1000 ways of making someone out there into the enemy becoming leaders who oppress rather than liberate others.
Rappelling: the only way to do this is to lean back as far as you can. We have to get your body at right angles to the cliff so that your weight will be on your feet. It’s counterintuitive but the only way that works. And at work bound motto: if you can’t get out of it, get into it!
Why would anyone want to embark on the daunting in her journey about which Annie Dillard rights? Because there’s no way out of once in her life, so I had better get into it. On the N-word and downward spiritual journey, the only way out is in and through.
The first shadow casting monster is insecurity about identity and worth. Extroversion sometimes develops as a way to cope with self-doubt: We plunge into external activity to prove that we are worthy – or simply to evade the question. When we are insecure about our own identities, we create settings that deprive other people of their identities as a way of buttressing our own.
A second shadow is the belief that the universe is a battleground, hostile to human interest. Yes the world is competitive, but largely because we make it so. There is another way of doing business, a way that is consensual, cooperative, communal. The gift we receive on the inner journey is the inside that the universe is working together for good. The spiritual truth that harmony is more fundamental than warfare in the nature of reality itself could transform everything.
A third shadow is functional atheism, the belief that ultimate responsibility for everything rests with us. That if anything decent is going to happen here, we are the ones who must make it happen.
That explains why the average group can tolerate no more than 15 seconds of silence: if we are not making noise, we believe, nothing good is happening and something must be dying. The gift we received on the inner journey is the knowledge that ours is not the only act in town. Some are even better than ours! We learn that we need not carry the whole load but can share it with others, liberating us and empowering them.
A fourth shadow is fear, especially our fear of the natural chaos of life. We, especially teachers and parents, want to organize and orchestrate things so thoroughly that messiness will never bubble up around us and threaten to overwhelm us. Insight we receive is that chaos is a precondition to creativity. When a leader fears cast so deeply as to try to eliminate it, the shadow of death will fall across everything that leader approaches – for the ultimate answer to all of life‘s messiness is death.
- [ ] We need to lift up the value of inner work. That phrase should become common place helping us understand the inner work is as real as outer work and involves skill one can develop, skills like journaling, reflective reading, spiritual friendship, meditation, and prayer we can teach our children something that their parents did not always know: if people skimp on their inner work their outer work will suffer as well.
- [ ] And though it’s a deeply personal matter, it is not necessarily private. The key to this form of community involves holding a paradox – that of having relationships in which we protect each other’s aloneness. We must come together in ways that respect the solitude of the soul, that avoid the unconscious violence we do when we try to save each other, that evoke our capacity to hold another life without dishonoring its mystery, never trying to coerce the other into meeting our own needs.
- [ ] We can remind each other of the dominant role that fear plays in our lives. Be not afraid. We all have fear but we do not need to be the fear we have. We don’t have to lead from a place of fear
Seasons is a wise metaphor for the movement of life. The notion that our lives are like the eternal cycle of the seasons does not deny the struggle or the joy, the loss or the gain, the darkness or the light, but encourages us to embrace it all and to find in all of it opportunities for growth.
A few years ago my father died. He was more than a good man, and the months following his death for a long, hard winter for me. But in the midst of that ice and loss, I came into a certain clarity that I liked when he was alive. I saw some thing that had been concealed when the luxuriance of his love surrounded me – saw how I had relied on him to help me question life’s harsher blows. When he could no longer do that, my first thought was, now I must do it for myself. But as time went on, I saw a deeper truth: it never was my father observing those blows but a larger and deeper grace that he taught me to rely on.
When my father was alive, I confuse the teaching with a teacher. My teacher is gone now, but the grace is still there – and my clarity about the fact has allowed his teaching to take a deeper root in me. Winter clears the landscape, however brutally, giving us a chance to see ourselves and each other more clearly, to see the very ground of our being.
In the human world, abundance does not happen automatically. It is created when we have the sense to choose community, to come together to celebrate and share our common store. Whether the scarce resource is money or love or power or words, the true law of life is that we generate more of whatever seems scarce by trusting its supply and passing it around. Authentic abundance does not lie in secured stockpiles of food or cash or influence or affection but in belonging to a community where we can give those goods to others who need them and receive them from others when we are in need.
I read this little gem in 2 bites in the middle of 2 nights.
Excerpts:
Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intense to do with you. Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, but your life tell you what treats you and body, what values you represent.
Vocation does not come from willfulness. It comes from listening. I must listen to my life and try to understand what it is truly about – quite apart from what I would like it to be about – or my life will never represent anything real in the world, no matter how earnest my intentions.
The soul is like a wild animal – tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy. If we want to see a wild animal, the last thing we should do is go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out.
Location is not a goal to be achieved but a gift to be received.
We find our callings by claiming authentic selfhood, by being who we are. The deepest vocational question is not what ought I to do with my life. It is more elemental and demanding who am I? What is my nature?
True vocation joins self and service, as Frederick Buechner asserts when he defines vocation as “the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.”
The ancient tradition of pilgrimage – a transformative journey to a sacred center full of hardships, darkness, and peril. In the tradition of pilgrimage, those hardships are seeing that is accidental but as integral to the journey itself.
I had never stopped being a teacher – I was simply teaching in a classroom without walls. In fact, I could have done no other: teaching, I was coming to understand, is my native way of being in the world.
Vocation at its deepest level is, this is something I can’t not do, for reasons I’m unable to explain to anyone else and don’t fully understand myself but that are nonetheless compelling.
Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give up the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.
What we see is simple but often ignored: The movements that transform us, our relations, and our world emerge from the lives of people who decide to care for their authentic self hood.
Make a critical decision to no longer act on the outside in a way that contradicts some truth about yourself that you hold deeply on the inside. Your decision will ripple out to transform the society in which you live, serving the selfhood of millions of others.
The punishment imposed on us for claiming true self can never be worse than the punishment we pose on ourselves by failing to make that claim. And the converse is true as well: no reward anyone might give us could possibly be greater than the reward that comes from living by our own best lights.
The attempt to live by the reality of our own nature, which means our limits as well as our potentials, is a profoundly moral regimen. For a good man to realize that it is better to be whole than to be good is to enter on the straight and narrow path compared to which his previous rectitude was flowery license.
My gift is a teacher is the ability to dance with my students, to teach and learn with them through dialogue and interaction. When they refuse to dance, when my gift is denied, things start to become messy. When I understand this liability as a trade-off for my strengths, something new and liberating arises with me in me. I no longer want to have my liability fixed by learning how to dance solo, for example, when no one wants to dance with me. Instead I want to learn how to respond more gracefully to students who refuse to dance, not projecting my limitation on them but embracing it as part of myself.
Embracing the mystery of depression does not mean passive a day or resignation. It means moving into a field of force as that seems alien but is in fact one’s deepest self. That means waiting watching listening suffering and gathering whatever self knowledge one can and then making choices based on that knowledge, no matter how difficult. One begins to slow walk back to health by choosing each day things that enliven one’s self hood and resisting things that do not.
Blessedly there were several people who had the courage to stand with me in a simple and healing way. One of them with a friend who having asked my permission to do so, stopped by my home every afternoon, sent me down in a chair, knelt in front of me, removed my shoes and socks, and for half an hour simply massaged my feet. He found the one place in my body where I could still experience feeling and feel so much reconnected with the human race.
Rilke describes a kind of love that neither avoids nor invades the soul’s suffering. It is a love in which we represent God’s love to a suffering person, a God who does not fix us but gives us strength by suffering with us. “Love… Consists in this, that two solitudes protect and border and salute each other.” By standing respectfully and faithfully at the borders of another’s solitude, we may mediate the love of God to a person who needs something deeper than any human being can give.
After hours of careful listening, my therapist offered an image that helped me eventually reclaim my life. You seem to look upon depression as the hand of an enemy trying to crush you. Do you think you could see it instead as a hand of a friend, pressing you down to ground on which it is safe to stand?
I have been living in ungrounded like living at an altitude that was inherently unsafe. When we slip, as we always do, we have a long way to fall, and the landing they will kill us. The grace of being pressed to the ground is also simple: when we slip and fall it is usually not fatal, and we can get back up. I was living like this because I have been trained as an intellectual not only to think but also to live largely in my head the place in the human body furthest from the ground. Also, my ego was inflated which led me to think more of myself then was warranted in order to mask my fear that I am less than I should be. If things I ought to do don’t fit my God-given nature and my gift and call, they are doomed to fail.
The “befriending” impulse behind my depression. from early in my life, a friendly figure, standing a block away, was trying to get my attention by shouting my name, wanting to teach me some hard but healing truths about myself.
Pp. 68-70
You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done your fierce with reality. I now know myself to be a person of weakness and strength, liability and giftedness, darkness and light. I now know that to be whole means to reject none of it but to embrace all of it.
Embracing one’s wholeness makes life more demanding – because once you do that, you must live your whole life. One of the most painful discoveries I made in the midst of the dark woods of depression was that a part of me wanted to stay depressed. As long as I clung to this living death, life became easier; little was expected of me, certainly not serving others.
It has also given us something positive: A special capacity to look from time to time somewhat further than those who have not undergone this bitter experience. Someone who cannot move and live in normal life because he’s been under a boulder has more time to think about his hopes than someone who is not trapped in this way.
Two crucial features of any spiritual journey: one is that it will take us in word and download for the hardest realities of our lives rather than outward and upward toward abstraction idealization and exhortation. The spiritual journey runs counter to the power of positive thinking. Why go in and down? Because as we do, we will meet the darkness that we carry within ourselves – the ultimate source of the shadows that we projected onto other people. If we do not understand the enemy is within, we will find 1000 ways of making someone out there into the enemy becoming leaders who oppress rather than liberate others.
Rappelling: the only way to do this is to lean back as far as you can. We have to get your body at right angles to the cliff so that your weight will be on your feet. It’s counterintuitive but the only way that works. And at work bound motto: if you can’t get out of it, get into it!
Why would anyone want to embark on the daunting in her journey about which Annie Dillard rights? Because there’s no way out of once in her life, so I had better get into it. On the N-word and downward spiritual journey, the only way out is in and through.
The first shadow casting monster is insecurity about identity and worth. Extroversion sometimes develops as a way to cope with self-doubt: We plunge into external activity to prove that we are worthy – or simply to evade the question. When we are insecure about our own identities, we create settings that deprive other people of their identities as a way of buttressing our own.
A second shadow is the belief that the universe is a battleground, hostile to human interest. Yes the world is competitive, but largely because we make it so. There is another way of doing business, a way that is consensual, cooperative, communal. The gift we receive on the inner journey is the inside that the universe is working together for good. The spiritual truth that harmony is more fundamental than warfare in the nature of reality itself could transform everything.
A third shadow is functional atheism, the belief that ultimate responsibility for everything rests with us. That if anything decent is going to happen here, we are the ones who must make it happen.
That explains why the average group can tolerate no more than 15 seconds of silence: if we are not making noise, we believe, nothing good is happening and something must be dying. The gift we received on the inner journey is the knowledge that ours is not the only act in town. Some are even better than ours! We learn that we need not carry the whole load but can share it with others, liberating us and empowering them.
A fourth shadow is fear, especially our fear of the natural chaos of life. We, especially teachers and parents, want to organize and orchestrate things so thoroughly that messiness will never bubble up around us and threaten to overwhelm us. Insight we receive is that chaos is a precondition to creativity. When a leader fears cast so deeply as to try to eliminate it, the shadow of death will fall across everything that leader approaches – for the ultimate answer to all of life‘s messiness is death.
- [ ] We need to lift up the value of inner work. That phrase should become common place helping us understand the inner work is as real as outer work and involves skill one can develop, skills like journaling, reflective reading, spiritual friendship, meditation, and prayer we can teach our children something that their parents did not always know: if people skimp on their inner work their outer work will suffer as well.
- [ ] And though it’s a deeply personal matter, it is not necessarily private. The key to this form of community involves holding a paradox – that of having relationships in which we protect each other’s aloneness. We must come together in ways that respect the solitude of the soul, that avoid the unconscious violence we do when we try to save each other, that evoke our capacity to hold another life without dishonoring its mystery, never trying to coerce the other into meeting our own needs.
- [ ] We can remind each other of the dominant role that fear plays in our lives. Be not afraid. We all have fear but we do not need to be the fear we have. We don’t have to lead from a place of fear
Seasons is a wise metaphor for the movement of life. The notion that our lives are like the eternal cycle of the seasons does not deny the struggle or the joy, the loss or the gain, the darkness or the light, but encourages us to embrace it all and to find in all of it opportunities for growth.
A few years ago my father died. He was more than a good man, and the months following his death for a long, hard winter for me. But in the midst of that ice and loss, I came into a certain clarity that I liked when he was alive. I saw some thing that had been concealed when the luxuriance of his love surrounded me – saw how I had relied on him to help me question life’s harsher blows. When he could no longer do that, my first thought was, now I must do it for myself. But as time went on, I saw a deeper truth: it never was my father observing those blows but a larger and deeper grace that he taught me to rely on.
When my father was alive, I confuse the teaching with a teacher. My teacher is gone now, but the grace is still there – and my clarity about the fact has allowed his teaching to take a deeper root in me. Winter clears the landscape, however brutally, giving us a chance to see ourselves and each other more clearly, to see the very ground of our being.
In the human world, abundance does not happen automatically. It is created when we have the sense to choose community, to come together to celebrate and share our common store. Whether the scarce resource is money or love or power or words, the true law of life is that we generate more of whatever seems scarce by trusting its supply and passing it around. Authentic abundance does not lie in secured stockpiles of food or cash or influence or affection but in belonging to a community where we can give those goods to others who need them and receive them from others when we are in need.
July 16, 2022
His chapter on depression is absolutely stunning. And timely. I will be reading it every day for the next few months. If I wasn’t an Anglican, I’d be a Quaker. 😂
February 19, 2018
7/52 books read in 2018.
1/20 bookshelf reads in 2018.
This was a great read, even while I was suffering from a massive reading slump.
It is short & offers insightful information into finding yourself and through that finding your path in life.
Parker J. Palmer is a christian (Quaker), but as an agnostic atheist I still found meaning in his words & thoughts.
1/20 bookshelf reads in 2018.
This was a great read, even while I was suffering from a massive reading slump.
It is short & offers insightful information into finding yourself and through that finding your path in life.
Parker J. Palmer is a christian (Quaker), but as an agnostic atheist I still found meaning in his words & thoughts.
May 31, 2025
Paraphrase: “your vocation is where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.”
January 3, 2020
I listened to the audiobook of this, and was surprised that I did't get much out of it. I found the author very self-centered, his deep thoughts yielding some trite advice. The author spends the first two thirds of the book giving examples of where he made mistakes and got depressed, and he analyzes events. On occasion, the author generalizes, but providing his personal perspective. It felt like you were listening to a self-centered friend, going through various topics with a loop of: this happened to me, and this is how I think about it. Often, Parker summarizes his thinking with what could be platitudes. One example, in my words, is that sometimes the past can guide your future. Not that the stories aren't interesting, quite a few were. But the outcome of his life experience is the advice to reflect on where you are and where you've been to help you decide where to go in your vocation. Nothing groundbreaking. I was worried that I missed something given all the excellent reviews of this book, so I re-listened to it a few days after first finishing it. My opinion hasn't changed.
Probably the most difficult aspect of this audiobook is that it is capably narrated by Stefan Rudnicki. Rudnicki has a very distinctive voice. He narrated much of Orson Scott Card's Ender series of science fiction books, and those books also discussed some deep subjects. Because of that voice, as well as the content, this felt like a digression of an Ender story, and I kept waiting for the action to begin. This was one of the first audiobooks where I thought a good job of narrating was wasted because of typecasting. I suspect I'm one of a very few that will have that reaction, though. Overall, a very short reminder that you can make life decisions based on what you know and have experienced. There's no need to wait for a sign.
Probably the most difficult aspect of this audiobook is that it is capably narrated by Stefan Rudnicki. Rudnicki has a very distinctive voice. He narrated much of Orson Scott Card's Ender series of science fiction books, and those books also discussed some deep subjects. Because of that voice, as well as the content, this felt like a digression of an Ender story, and I kept waiting for the action to begin. This was one of the first audiobooks where I thought a good job of narrating was wasted because of typecasting. I suspect I'm one of a very few that will have that reaction, though. Overall, a very short reminder that you can make life decisions based on what you know and have experienced. There's no need to wait for a sign.
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