What No One Tells the Mom: Surviving the Early Years of Parenthood With Your Sanity, Your Sex Life and YourSense of Humor Intact

by Marg Stark

A survival guide for mothers draws on the author's own hard-won wisdom, as well as on helpful advice from other parents and child care experts, to offer a series of valuable coping strategies for the first five years of motherhood, covering such topics as how to avoid Supermom stress, tips and tricks for training Dad, dealing with household chaos, and sex. Original.

Genres: Parenting

288 pages, Paperback

First published April 5, 2005

Reviews

[Mary Huyett]

This just really wasn’t for me.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very wordy at times and downright depressing, this book delivers a first hand accounts alongside her friends' and strangers' accounts of the problems they encounter throughout motherhood. It's honest and raw, but I really, in the end, liked it. It does not paint the happy picture. But at the same time, it is not entirely brooding. It's realistic and I appreciate that. She speaks about the arguments she had with her husband. She talks candidly about the moms out there that think they are perfect and never make mistakes. Those moms who would never do this or that. The judgemental ones.
All I can say is that I cannot wait to be a mom and I will do it to the best of my ability. I am not perfect and I will do my best not to compare myself with other moms, but instead try to learn from them and share with them. There is no point in dragging people down in the mud, especially other moms. We should ban together and lift each other up to help us together raise some bright, creative, talented, forgiving, humble, and kind children who will make a positive difference in our community.
This book was a reminder for how to be a better mom and a better person.

[Megan]

This book is currently scaring the everloving sh&% out of me...but I still want to be a mom. This book is basically a compilation of all the negative things I ever thought about motherhood. However, the author manages to avoid all the cutesy, flippant speech normally found in parenting/childbirth books, and her frank honesty about her own experiences keeps me reading.
Ok I read it and I think the mom had totally unrealistic expectations about what sort of sacrifices she would have to make as a mom....AND her husband seems like an abusive douchebag. One of the most repellent parts of the book includes a yuppie mom admitting that she often just goes to sleep and lets her baby cry for hours because, she explains, "sometimes you have to put yourself first so you can take care of them." Whatever. You're being a selfish prat. Don't try to frame it in love; admit that it's harder than you thought it would be. And for god's sake, stop telling other mothers it's okay--it's not!

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I would give this negative stars if I could. This is about the worst advice I've ever read, and I feel sorry for this author's kids. She thinks nothing of having a tantrum in the middle of the store, kicking her feet and banging her fists on the floor. Really? I'd like a book that tells how to avoid this kind of breakdown. Also, some of her advice includes becoming a swinger because having kids is probably going to change your sex life. So if that means swinging--with either men or women!--then do whatever you need to keep the fire alive. Right.

[Chelsea · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a nice surprise and gave me some keen insight to being a mom with 2 kids and not knowing what the hell I am doing half the time! I think this book is a must read for any new parent. To not be so harsh on yourself, and just go with the flow of mommy-hood, and be sure to take some time out for yourself. And not just an hour at the gym every now and then. I liked her insight on marriage and to be creative and to get a sitter and go out on a date with that guy you married.

[Sheralyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although a bit whiny and over-exaggerated....she brings up a few really good points....and some parts of it are really funny...

[Caulyne B · Rating 1 out of 5]

The only thing worse than What to Expect was this book. Rash generalizations and worst case scenarios are not what pregnant women need to read!

[Sylvia · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a negative book! Not getting me excited for motherhood that's for sure. I am not going to finish it.

[Charlotte B · Rating 5 out of 5]

one day i'm gonna get me a copy of this one.
why i haven't read this book before having kids is beyond me.

[Gretchen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good advice & input, but at times silly. I don't know...just not my style, I guess.

[Appel Aja · Rating 3 out of 5]

Liked how this mom emphasizes cutting moms some slack and letting go of perfectionism. Disagreed with some of the marriage advice like accepting a boring marriage.