Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

The Birthday Room: A Middle Grade Novel for Kids (Ages 8-12) – When a Letter From a Forgotten Uncle Changes Everything

Rate this book
"Two of the things Benjamin Hunter received for his twelfth birthday took him completely by surprise: A room and a letter. The room was from his parents. The letter was from his uncle."

Ben was just two years old when he and his uncle, Ian, were last together, so Ben didn't remember him. And no one in Ben's family ever talked about the man. Then the letter arrived, changing Ben's life, and changing his family in unexpected ways. And there was the birthday room...

176 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

14 people are currently reading
214 people want to read

About the author

Kevin Henkes

149 books1,214 followers
Kevin Henkes is an American writer and illustrator of children's books. As an illustrator he won the Caldecott Medal for Kitten's First Full Moon (2004). Two of his books were Newbery Medal Honor Books, Olive's Ocean in 2004 and The Year of Billy Miller in 2014. His picture book Waiting was named both a 2016 Caldecott Honor Book and a Geisel Honor Book. It was only the second time any author has won that combination of awards.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
52 (20%)
4 stars
91 (35%)
3 stars
78 (30%)
2 stars
23 (9%)
1 star
11 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
Profile Image for Josiah.
3,487 reviews157 followers
December 20, 2022
There's something about a Kevin Henkes novel that one doesn't find anywhere else. It's as if the characters that he creates are so real to him as he's writing them that fabricating a dramatic story to make their lives seem more interesting to readers would strike him as inappropriate ornamentation. Rather, Kevin Henkes gives his characters all the room they need to live their lives as naturally as any real person would, and trusts for something good to come out of what we're then able to observe. It's a storytelling approach that doesn't seem as if it would work, at least not in a culture glutted with visual stimulation nearly every second of the waking day, but it does work, perhaps even because of the overstimulation of the senses that affects most people. When a gentle, soulful, completely realistic story like The Birthday Room comes around, readers have shown that they are willing to turn down the volume on their lives for a little while and take a listen to the whispering of the author's voice. It is in this place of quiet attentiveness that one finds the genius of Kevin Henkes.

This story is so understated that it would be easy to miss parts of it completely. It's the type of tale in which the exact details aren't necessarily crucial; a year after reading The Birthday Room many of the plot's specifics will be fuzzy to most readers, but the feeling that the book aroused will still be crystal clear. Throughout the story there's a sense of reaching, on the part of both the characters and reader, toward something important that we never quite get our fingers around by the end. It's like having an intricate dream that one knows is very important while having it, searching for something that is lost or maybe never even was, only to wake from the dream moments before finding it. There's a sense that it was more than just a dream, that you really missed out on something by not grabbing it when you had the chance, and that's the same feeling cultivated by this book. I can't explain it in any more detail than that because I, too, was unable to find "it". I just know that there's something very deep and important about this book, something profound in the story that I don't fully understand even after having gotten so much out of the experience of reading it. Maybe there's no finding that deeper meaning in this lifetime, but I know that I've touched it, if only for a moment.

After a freak accident in the woodworking shop at age two that left Ben without a pinky finger on his left hand (a potentially gruesome scene that is mercifully left undescribed in the book so as to keep the story appropriate for the target audience), a rift has opened up between Ben's mother and his Uncle Ian, who was doing the woodworking that resulted in Ben's "minor" dismemberment. There were many smaller things that contributed to disharmony between the two siblings before the accident, of course, but the loss of her son's finger was the breaking point in Ben's mother's relationship with Ian, and now Ben hardly even remembers his uncle. That is, until the day of his twelfth birthday, when a letter arrives from Uncle Ian asking Ben and his parents to fly to Oregon and visit him. It's been a long time since the family connected, Ian says, and he'd like to get back in touch and find out what's been happening in their lives during the past ten years.

Ben's mother isn't really mad at Uncle Ian; there are still some underlying feelings of detachment and resentment to confront, though, and she doesn't want to send Ben off to the other side of the country by himself with a virtual stranger. So even though Ben's father can't make the trip, Ben and his mother depart to spend a week in Eugene, Oregon, uncertain of what sort of reunion awaits them.

There's not much point in walking through any more of the story than this, because the book isn't really about the specific events it describes. With a flow of heightened consciousness that relates the most mundane moments using the most beautiful of language, the story demonstrates that life is made up of a million tiny decisions, and the ones we will have to make tomorrow dangle and dance just out of our reach today so that there's no positively identifying them before their time has come. Those decisions will come at their own speed and as naturally as the flow of a river, and we will make them when we have to, without knowing in what new direction even the seemingly most inconsequential of them could spin us. All we can hope for is that the next set of decisions we make will lead us to a good place where the decision after that will be an even better one, and on and on as the right decisions we make lead us well, even if it's not where we had originally planned to go. The future moves up quickly and then in a snap is by us already in the rearview mirror, and we don't know how our decisions have affected our lives and the lives of those around us. We just deal with the present as it comes, however it comes.

There's no way that I would give this book less than two and a half stars, and I gave some thought to rounding that rating up instead of down. Kevin Henkes's novels are so understated in their delivery that it's easy to read one and think that it's about nothing; until later, that is, when in retrospect one realizes that a book like The Birthday Room truly is about everything, a permanently expanding eternity of love and hope and life that could never be captured between the two covers of a book, but is perhaps expressed most genuinely in a story that endeavors to be nothing more than a portion of real life, marked not by the intrigue of the unusual but by the sublimeness of the normal, the quietness and wonder of real life as lived by most people every day. While I would still rank Olive's Ocean as Kevin Henkes's best book, The Birthday Room was an unforgettable reading experience, and I'm sure that fans of the author's other novels will feel the same way. It is a gift to be savored.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
40 reviews
October 5, 2010

The Birthday Room is about a boy named Ben who recieves two suprising gifts for his twelfth birthday: a room and a letter. The room was from his parents, and the letter was from his uncle, who invited him to come and visit him in Oregon. Ben hadn't seen his uncle since he was two, when a terrible accident occured when his uncle was watching him. When they arrive in Oregon, Ben finds out that his aunt is expecting a baby. Will Ben be able to bring his family back together again?


I really enjoyed this book because it reminded me of something that happened in my family a few years ago. I'm extremely glad that it was resolved. I also liked this book because it has a good message, interesting characters, and good writing. I would recommend this book to middle schoolers.

Profile Image for Cheryl.
13k reviews483 followers
December 20, 2022
It's Henkes, and it's brilliant. The same concise & quiet & poetical kind of story about bringing a family together that Sarah, Plain and Tall, is. I want to meet a child who loves it... they must be a special sort of kid.
Profile Image for Janna Gifford.
30 reviews1 follower
October 29, 2012
The birthday room by Kevin Henkes is a contemporary realistic fiction book that has targeted the intermediate age group. This book is about the main character Ben getting a room in the house from his parents for his twelfth birthday to use as a studio. Ben is feeling pressured to now become and artist so when his Uncle Ian offers to have Ben visits, he jumps on the opportunity. Throughout his time with his Uncle Ian, many things happen to lead him to figure out that the birthday room should be used as a spare/guest bedroom. I decided that this book should get four stars based on the themes of the book. This book has a lot of themes that the children can explore to growing up to family affairs. I think that children who read this book can relate to so many issues in the story and the coming of age thinking that Ben does. Ben starts to see the world in a new light after reconnecting with his Uncle as well as many family issues are dealt with. I would not give this book five stars due to the sad nature of some of the events as well as this book would not appeal to all children. I think that this is a heartwarming story about how Uncle Ian prepares to have a child of his own, Ben’s mother and Uncle reconnecting and strengthening their sibling bond as well as Ben learning who he is and not feeling pressured to be something that he is not. I was glad that the book skipped over the part where Ben and Uncle Ian are in Uncle Ian’s workshop and Ben loses his pinky finger in an accident. This book allowed me to connect with the character Ben because what he goes through is not just out of this world problem but the basic problems that everyone goes through in everyday life. Having family that is not talked about or really interacted with is in a lot of people’s family as well as just the problems of pressure from your parents to be something that you have not discovered yet. I would use this book for students to study the themes of family dynamics and a coming of age story for students to read.
151 reviews
Read
January 11, 2009
The Birthday Room, by Kevin Henkes is a book about a boy who goes to visit his uncle. The main character is a boy named Benjamin Hunter. He likes to be called Ben. This book takes place in Wisconsin and in Oregon. Ben’s main internal conflict is that he doesn’t really like the room he got for his birthday. His main external struggle is that he got his finger cut of when his uncle was watching him when he was younger.

During my time reading this book I made a text-to-world connection. Throughout most of the book Ben was so afraid of showing or tells people about his missing finger. That reminded me of people in the world. Sometimes people in the world are afraid to tell people something because there afraid of what that person might think. Even though this happens they both find a way to get past it. They learn it’s not important bout what others think.

I would definitely give this book 5 star. This book had an amazing lesson. It had characters that were so believable. I would recommend this book to someone who likes a book about someone achieving something. Or about family coming together.
Profile Image for Lisa.
223 reviews1 follower
September 12, 2011
Benjamin hasn't seen Uncle Ian since Benjamin accidentally cut off a pinky finger at age two and a half in Ian's woodworking studio while Ian was baby-sitting him. On his twelfth birthday, Benjamin receives a letter from Ian, expressing a desire to reconnect and inviting him to his home in Oregon for a week. After some soul-searching, Benjamin and his mother--who has her own set of issues with Uncle Ian--decide to take the trip.

I thought this was a really good story. I loved how it touched on the issue of guilt and blame for accidents in dozens of small ways. This would be a very good book, I think, for an adult or kid who accidentally hurt someone. The portrayal of Benjamin's relationship to his missing pinky finger was very realistic, as was the estrangement between his mother and his uncle. Just a very well-done story, with excellent writing.
474 reviews20 followers
December 29, 2012
Minor spoilers included.

This was the first book for younger readers that I've picked up in a while: I usually stick to YA. At first the book appealed to me because the author is from Madison, but from the first page I was drawn in. The book is beautifully and simply written, and really is a simple story which touches on some deeper themes. When he's a toddler, the main character is the victim of an accident. His uncle is blamed. When he turns 12, he reconnects with his uncle, and his mother is asked to forgive her brother. I liked this simple story for how it looks at the idea of blame and forgiveness.
208 reviews17 followers
January 27, 2013
I thought this was a lovely book about figuring your place in life, your gifts and the evolving relationship with a parent as well as other adults in your life. The main character,Ben a just turned twelve year old boy, takes a short in real time journey; but long in the scope of the years and events and emotions leading to that present. The story leaves you with hope for the future of everyone in the story, especially Ben and his mother. The story is so well written that it engages and resonates with readers who are well beyond twelve.

In short this was a very good read and I would recommend it to readers of 5th grade age and up.
Profile Image for Kayla Cheadle.
3 reviews
April 26, 2013
The birthday room is by the author named Kevin Henkes .its about a boy who accidentally lost his finger when he was a little boy it had got cut off and his parents ends up giving him a room for his birthday and then later gets a card from a couple of his family members asking him if he would come down to visit cause they have not seen him ever sense the accident.but through out the book the parents were having some problems kind of agreeing on some things .my favorite character in the book was the boy
Profile Image for C&C Library.
303 reviews30 followers
January 4, 2014
Same kind of exploration of family dynamics that are original and exposing adult flaws (as Protecting Marie), which is nice. Sometimes Henkes gets sappy and plays the same chords over and over but there's always good stuff to explore. Kids do not gravitated toward his books on their own so he's one to encourage.
Profile Image for Maureen.
624 reviews
February 19, 2019
The problem with reading books long after they are published (1999) is that they might not have the same appeal to the audience as they had when they were published. This may be the case with The Birthday Room. If so, that's sad because this is a truly wonderful read. It manages to capture so many of the life challenges a twelve year old might have. And it does that in a fascinating way. The characters are quirky, very much to my liking. It's a spirited, imaginative and hopeful read.
Profile Image for Nancy.
157 reviews14 followers
January 31, 2011
Rich and beautiful; I had a couple of moments of Hey! wait! because the mother gets the wool pulled over her eyes, but in a very real-life way, that is just human, while it is a bit hurtful. So glad to read stories rich in emotion, showing shortcomings and sadness in life, but also beauty and strength.
Profile Image for Cynthia.
448 reviews
January 1, 2012
Ben is a boy who has been given an unexpected gift by his parents. He is an only child, thoughtful and artistic. He visits his uncle and meets people who help him see the world with new eyes. These new connections help him understand his family. I thought the story was told well, and I liked the descriptions. Another quiet but strong book by Henkes.
Profile Image for Elizabeth R.
766 reviews
January 2, 2013
Dear Kevin Henkes, Wisconsinite writer of fun picture books, you have the touch for children's writing as well. This book is an interesting take on loneliness and family dynamics, while being a happy book all in all. The families are atypical, which allows a variety of people to relate to this, I think. The Oregon setting is fun, too.
19 reviews
August 7, 2015
Benjamin Hunter received surprising presents,a room and a letter.the room from his parents and the letter from his uncle during his twelveth birthday.That is such an amazing thing because they shows how much they they do care about their special child and if I was him i would not even try to disappoint them after they had showed how loving they are.
Profile Image for Shanna.
699 reviews15 followers
September 7, 2019
On Ben's 12th birthday, he gets an invitation to visit an uncle who he hasn't seen since he was two. This uncle had a falling out with the family after an accident resulting in Ben losing a pinkie finger. The story is mainly about Ben's perspective on the relationship between his mother and his uncle.
Profile Image for Cheryl.
166 reviews5 followers
July 31, 2008
I enjoyed this book. It takes a look at how holding a grudge can become a huge part of someone's life and how it affects more than that person. Also, when you hold on to a grudge it can be very painful to try to make amends if left too long.
Profile Image for Mallory.
254 reviews
November 2, 2009
For Ben’s 12th birthday he receives two presents: a room for him to paint in and an invitation to visit his estranged uncle in Oregon. One of the presents is a great disappoint and the other is life-changing. This is a heartwarming story about a boy who learns to be comfortable in his own skin.
Profile Image for The Styling Librarian.
2,170 reviews194 followers
December 24, 2010
Quite a different story. I had an issue with the mom being so fixated on herself that she didn't think beyond her issues to address her son's needs at times... I love Kevin Henkes's picture books, I liked his other books like Bird Lake Moon and Olive's Ocean a bit more.
Profile Image for Sarah.
1,573 reviews15 followers
August 20, 2012
I like this book and the way it wrote about tween and teen issues in a sensitive way. It addressed larger issues and I like the way it was presented. The characters are relatable and I really appreciated the perspective. I would use this book in my classroom.
Profile Image for Nancy.
577 reviews4 followers
August 22, 2014
Very good book for late elementary school children to discuss causation--why things happen to people and whether it is someone's fault or not. Sometimes everyone in the situation feels to blame for circumstances. Very eloquently written--not heavy handed.
Profile Image for Ellen.
1,819 reviews43 followers
March 7, 2021
On Ben's 12th birthday he has no idea what present his parents have chosen for him. There is a huge bow on the door to an empty room his parents had planned to turn into a reading room. Ben is sure the gift is so large that it is behind the closed doors. To his surprise, but not necessarily his joy, he finds that the gift is the empty room itself. His artistically gifted parents have given Ben his own art studio to outfit in any way he sees fit. Although he swears it is the best gift ever he is less than thrilled. Also on his 12th birthday, Ben receives a letter from his mother Julie's brother Ian who Ben has not seen since he was 2 years old. At that time there was an incident with a power saw that cost Ben a pinkie finger when Ian was babysitting. The siblings became estranged over the years and now Ian has invited Ben and his parents to come visit. Although his mother is reluctant, Ben truly wants to see his Uncle Ian once again so she reluctantly agrees.

Ian welcomes his sister and nephew to his cabin in the Oregon woods. Ian is a talented woodworker, has married and is expecting a child soon. Ben loves the home Ian and his wife have created and quickly makes friends with 13-year-old neighbor Lynnie and her 5-year-old twin siblings. Julie and Ian retain a tentative and strained relationship but Ben is having a wonderful vacation. When a project the young twins had been working on goes drastically awry, Ben comes up with a plan that will hopefully help everyone's spirits rise and will help to heal the heartache between Ian and Julie.

This is a sweet story written for middle school ages. Full disclosure: I only read this because one of the categories in my library's year long challenge is to read a book you choose with your eyes closed. Sorely afraid of ending up with a 500+ page clunker that I didn't like, I decided to do this challenge in the children's side of the library. I figured at least the book would be short even if I didn't like it. I liked it.
Profile Image for Kimberley.
560 reviews4 followers
December 30, 2020
Okay, this is my third Henkes' novel, and I think this one may be my favorite so far. I loved Olive's Ocean, but I love this one, too, for different reasons. This book is about family relationships and old, unresolved hurt between adults...and the boy stuck in the middle of them.

It's a really good story and, like Henkes' other novels, I love the ending that doesn't really end...because it mimics life - we all just keep moving forward. But, like Olive's Ocean and Bird Lake Moon, the final words leave me with a smile and a hopeful heart.

This is a perfect middle school book but, as C.S. Lewis always said, a good story is a good story...no matter how old you are.

**Side note: After reading the book, I think the cover choice is perfect, but I think the title should definitely be different. I almost didn't read it because of the title with the cover. It didn't make sense. With a better title, students would be more likely to preview this one in a library or bookstore. Possible titles: The Biggest Gift, Let Sleeping Dogs Lie?, Revealed, Saying Sorry, Seek No Further, Icky Pee, Icky Pee is Gone!. I have to say, Seek No Further and Icky Pee or Icky Pee is Gone! would be my top choices, but you'd have to read the book to understand why they seem so perfect to me. And I know plenty of middle schoolers who would preview ANY book with Icky Pee in the title. Lol.
44 reviews1 follower
October 29, 2025
My 3-sentence book review of The Birthday Room by Kevin Henkes:
- This was not my favorite Henkes book, but it's not my least favorite either.... I at least finished this one.
- I know that some parents try to choose books in which the adults are portrayed in a good light, not in a manner that suggests that adults are the enemy. While I wouldn't say that the mom is an enemy in this book, she bears a decade-long grudge against her brother, and the 12-year-old protagonist often seems more mature than his own mother.
30 reviews3 followers
April 16, 2019
This book is a simple read although it could have been more clear in the end. The novel lacks some suspense and buildup to a climax. It's relatively calm and civil most of the time. There ares some surprises, though. Kids would like the book if they can relate (be an only child, meeting family unseen for a long time, having gone through and experience that changed life) but adults might find it tedious at times or struggling to find a storyline.
Profile Image for Cheryl.
782 reviews1 follower
March 12, 2023
As I've said in some previous reviews, don't underestimate youth fiction. Kevin Henkes packed a lot of story into under 200 small pages, and the characters were exceedingly realistic and believable. The "couldn't put it down" cliche actually applies here. I read the last 100 pages in one sitting.
Profile Image for Helen.
3,656 reviews82 followers
February 21, 2020
This is a book by Kevin Henkes for older readers: middle-school through teen. It demonstrates how adults need to grow sometimes. It illustrates forgiveness and the different sides of a situation.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.