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The Living Reminder: Service and Prayer in Memory of Jesus Christ

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“ The Living Reminder was like a visit from a friend I needed to speak with. The surprise for me was how much I needed to hear him say familiar things.”
— National Catholic Reporter

The Living Reminder is a gift from Henry J.M. Nouwen—along with C.S. Lewis and Thomas Merton , one of the 20 th century’s most beloved and important spiritual writers. Subtitled “Service and Prayer in the Memory of Jesus Christ,” Nouwen’s book presents  simple yet powerfully profound expressions of the joys of religious service, prompting the publication New Review of Books and Religion to note that we read Nouwen “to discover new possibilities in our own faith.”

80 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1977

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About the author

Henri J.M. Nouwen

453 books2,128 followers
Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest, theologian, psychologist, professor, and spiritual writer whose work profoundly shaped contemporary Christian spirituality. Born in Nijkerk, the Netherlands, in 1932, Nouwen pursued religious studies and was ordained a priest in 1957. His intellectual curiosity led him to study psychology at the Catholic University of Nijmegen and later at the Menninger Clinic in Kansas, where he explored the connection between faith and mental health. Throughout his life, Nouwen remained committed to integrating pastoral care, psychology, and spiritual theology in a way that addressed the emotional and existential needs of believers.
Nouwen held teaching positions at prestigious institutions including the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School. He authored over three dozen books and hundreds of articles, with notable works such as The Wounded Healer, The Return of the Prodigal Son, Life of the Beloved, and The Inner Voice of Love. His writing, often rooted in personal vulnerability and spiritual struggle, resonated with readers across denominations. Nouwen openly explored themes of loneliness, identity, intimacy, and the human desire for love and belonging, making his voice especially relatable and influential.
Though he was a gifted academic and popular speaker, Nouwen found his deepest calling later in life through his involvement with L’Arche, a network of communities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. After a transformative stay at the original L’Arche community in France, Nouwen accepted an invitation to become the pastor of L’Arche Daybreak in Richmond Hill, Ontario. There he developed a close bond with Adam Arnett, a core member with severe disabilities, which inspired the book Adam: God’s Beloved. At Daybreak, Nouwen discovered a deep spiritual home and a community that helped him embrace his humanity in profound ways.
Throughout his life, Nouwen wrestled with issues of identity, including his sexuality and his longing for connection, though he remained faithful to his vows. His openness about depression and inner conflict gave depth to his pastoral message, and his ability to turn personal struggle into shared spiritual insight made him one of the most beloved spiritual writers of the 20th century.
Henri Nouwen died in 1996 of a sudden heart attack, but his legacy endures through his writings, the Henri Nouwen Society, and the continued global reach of his message of belovedness, vulnerability, and compassionate community. His books remain bestsellers, widely read in seminaries, churches, and among individuals seeking a more intimate walk with God.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
Profile Image for Chad.
Author 35 books568 followers
August 28, 2018
This book is an incredible journey into the biblical understanding of memory. Profound insights for both ministers as they serve as ‘’Rememberers’’ and for us all.
Profile Image for Michael.
249 reviews
April 29, 2020
Nouwen is always a gift, but this one feels like a distilled version of some of his best insights. Really wonderful little book.
Profile Image for Alex Portillo.
36 reviews
January 14, 2022
Spirit and wisdom in every page. Nouwen distills the calling of the minister with clarity: pastor, priest and prophet in this book (healer of the past, sustainer of life in the present, and guide to the future).
Profile Image for Mitzi Kyrene Lacap.
9 reviews
March 11, 2024
It kinda felt all over the place tbh but did have some good insights. Not the greatest Nouwen novel but I love him and had such high expectations but was just disappointed.
Profile Image for Sally Falahat.
12 reviews
November 19, 2024
One of the best Christian books I’ve read. Very thought provoking and learned a lot from it
Profile Image for Alfred van de Weg.
53 reviews12 followers
February 8, 2025
Echt Nouwen. Pastoraat in navolging van Christus. Aanrader, maar langzaam lezen.
103 reviews2 followers
October 21, 2018
Once again a timely find at a used book store.

I heard the name Henry Nowen from many of the Christian, women leaders I follow online. I’ve wanted to check out his writings for a while. I wasn’t disappointed.

I’m simply going to leave quotes here for my future self & others to reference.

“ Service is prayer and prayer is service.”

“ ...much of what the Bible demands can be comprised in one word, ‘Remember.’”

“... to forget our sins may be an even greater sin than to commit them. Why? Because what is forgotten cannot be healed and that which cannot be healed easily becomes the cause of greater evil.”

“... much of their sense of self derives less from what happened than from how they remember what happened, how they have placed the past events into their own personal history.”

“... emotions are deeply influenced by the way we have integrated past events in to our way of being in the world.”

“By refusing to face our painful memories we miss the opportunity to change our hearts and grow mature in repentance. When Jesus says, “It is not that healthy who need the doctor, but the sick,” (mark 2:17), he affirms that only those who face their wounded condition can be available for healing and so enter into a new way of living.”

“ if ministers are reminders, their first task is to offer the space in which the wounded memories of the past can be reached and brought back into the light without fear.”

“ The great vocation of the minister is to continuously make connections between the human story and the divine story.”

“ by connecting the human story with the story of the suffering servant, we rescue our history from its fatalistic chain and allow our time to be converted from chronos into Kairos, from a series of randomly organized incidents and accidents into a constant opportunity to explore gods work in our lives.”

“ all of ministry rests on the conviction that nothing, absolutely nothing, in our lives is outside the realm of God‘s judgment and mercy.”

“ The challenge of ministry is to help people in very concrete situations – people with illnesses or in grief, people with physical or mental handicaps, people suffering from poverty and oppression, people caught in the complex networks of secular or religious institutions – to see and experience their story as part of gods ongoing redemptive work in the world. These insights and experiences heal precisely because they restore the broken connection between the world and God and create a new unity in which memories that formally seemed only destructive are now reclaimed as part of a redemptive event.”

“... in order to be a living reminder of the Lord, we must walk in his presence as Abraham did. To walk in the presence of the Lord means to move forward in life in such a way that all our desires, thoughts, and actions are constantly guided by him.”

“ when we no longer walk in the presence of the Lord, we cannot be living reminders of his divine presence in our lives. We then quickly become strangers in an alien land who have forgotten where we come from and where we are going. And we are no longer the way to the experience of God, but rather in the way of the experience of God.”

“ it is this unconditional and unreserved love for God that leads to the care for our neighbor, not as an activity which distracts us from God or competes with our attention to God, but as an expression of our love for God who reveals Himself to us as the God of all people.”

“ just as the memory of past wounds can prevent us from repeating the evil that wounded us, so also the memory of love can nurture us in our day-to-day struggles.”

“ when everything is dark, when we are surrounded by despairing voices, when we do not see any exits, then we can find salvation in a remembered love, a
love which is not simply a wistful recollection of a by gone past but a living force which sustains us in the present.”

“ although this ministry of presence is undoubtedly very meaningful, it always needs to be balanced by a ministry of absence.”

“... it is essential for patients and parishioners to experience that it is good for them, not only that we come but also that we leave. In this way the memory of our visit can become as important, if not more important, than the visit itself.”

“ we have to learn to leave so that the spirit can come.”

“ we ministers may have become so available that there is too much presence and too little absence, too much staying with people and too Little leaving them, too much of us and too little of God and his spirit..”

“ I would like to make a plea for prayer as a creative way of being unavailable.”

“... wasting time for God is an act of ministry, because it reminds us and our people that God is free to touch anyone regardless of our well meant efforts.”

“ we all have had the experience that in times of distress, failure, and depression it is the good memories which give us new confidence and hope. When the night is dark and everything seems black and fearful, we can hope for a bright new day because we have seen a bright day before. Our hope is built on our memories.

We do not always realize that among the best things we can give each other our good memories: kind words, signs of affection, gestures of sympathy, peaceful silences, and joyful celebrations. At the time they all may have seemed obvious, simple, and without any consequences, but as memories they can save us in the midst of confusion, fear, and darkness.”


“ The meditation on God‘s word is indispensable if we want to be reminders of God and not of ourselves, if we want to radiate hope not despair, joy and not sadness, life and not death.”



Profile Image for Rachel | All the RAD Reads.
1,254 reviews1,324 followers
January 30, 2022
never have i ever read and reread a book twice in one week, until this one. it was such a needed and rich reminder of what matters most in ministry life, exploring the minister as healing, sustaining, and guiding reminders of Jesus. so good!
Profile Image for Melanie.
78 reviews4 followers
January 1, 2016
Very inspirational book on the subject of how to maintain spiritual vitality and energy while serving in ministry.
Profile Image for Viggo van Uden.
115 reviews2 followers
October 4, 2025
The Living Reminder (1977) is a beautiful and profound book in which Henri J.M. Nouwen seeks to answer the question: “Who am I as a living memory of God?” The central theme is therefore memory, and the minister’s challenge is to become a reminder of God. Nouwen unfolds this theme in three chapters: (1) The Minister as a Healing Reminder, (2) The Minister as a Sustaining Reminder, and (3) The Minister as a Guiding Reminder. These three sections explore the dimensions of healing, sustaining, and guiding within the overarching framework of memory, presenting the minister as healer, sustainer, and guide. The book’s structure is clear and elegant, and Nouwen develops each part with spiritual depth.

In the Prologue, Nouwen states that his aim is to explore “the connection between ministry and spirituality”—a quintessential Nouwen theme. In this exploration, he examines “ministry as remembrance and the minister as living reminder of Jesus Christ” (p. 13).

The Minister as a Healing Reminder
In this chapter, Nouwen focuses on three aspects: the wounds, the healing, and the healer. He emphasizes the need to create space for the wounding memories of the past. The minister’s vocation, he writes, is “to continuously make connections between the human story and the divine story” (p. 24), aligning closely with a narrative approach to pastoral care. The challenge, he adds, is “to help people in very concrete situations (…) to see and experience their story as part of God’s ongoing redemptive work in the world” (p. 26). For the healer—that is, the minister—to truly be a healing reminder, it is essential to live spiritually and remain deeply connected to God.

The Minister as a Sustaining Reminder
Here Nouwen reflects on the sustenance, the sustaining, and the sustainer. He argues that we sustain one another through the constant interplay between absence and presence. Particularly insightful is his discussion of the ministry of absence, which I found both surprising and illuminating. While presence is clearly vital, absence, he explains, creates space for memory and the work of the Spirit. This requires what Nouwen calls “the art of creative withdrawal” (p. 47). The minister must avoid too much presence and too little absence, or, as he puts it, too much of us and too little of God and his Spirit. “When absence from people means a special presence to God, then that absence becomes a sustaining absence” (p. 50). Even in solitude with God—that is, in withdrawal—the minister continues to serve and sustain the congregation.

The Minister as a Guiding Reminder
Ministers are not only healers and sustainers but also guides. Accordingly, Nouwen considers the guidance, the guiding, and the guide. He explores conscious and unconscious memories, linking them to the great prophets of history (cf. Deut. 8:2–14; 10:19; Isa. 46:8–10). According to Nouwen, “our memories give us guidance” and “they are the blueprint for our future” (p. 62). Guidance occurs in two ways: (1) through confrontation—challenging people to confess and repent—and (2) through inspiration—stirring them to look up again with new courage and confidence. Nouwen also underscores the significance of storytelling in ministry. For the minister as guide, meditation is indispensable, ensuring that the Word is engraved in our hearts.

In this triad—healer, sustainer, guide—the minister emerges as pastor (healing the wounds of the past), priest (sustaining life in the present), and prophet (guiding others toward the future), as Nouwen writes in his Epilogue. Thus, the threefold office (munus triplex) of Christ is reflected in ministry, as are the three dimensions of time. In the same Epilogue, Nouwen warns against “the temptation to settle for an easy professionalism.” The true challenge, he writes, is “to explore our spiritual resources and to integrate the best of what we find there with the best of what we have found in the behavioral sciences” (p. 76).

This, precisely, is where Nouwen excels: he bridges pastoral practice and spirituality while drawing from the behavioral sciences—yet never at the expense of the proprium of pastoral care and ministry, which is spirituality. The Living Reminder is a deeply inspiring and beautifully written work that once again demonstrates Nouwen’s rare gift for integrating theology, spirituality, and pastoral care. A truly remarkable book to read.
Profile Image for Rev Ricky.
60 reviews2 followers
July 9, 2019
Reading the Living Reminder feels like spending a day with a mentor. Henri Nouwen draws from literature, his pastoral experiences and the Bible to remind ministers of what we do best: administering grace to dying and lonely people.

Nouwen starts out reminding us of the importance of our past. That which is unacknowledged controls us. What is forgotten cannot be healed and that which can not be healed easily becomes the cause of greater evil. The minister's job is to bring the pain of the past out into the open and expose it to the gospel that the injuries can be healed.

In the second chapter Nouwen discusses the importance of becoming a memory. Our memories of our friends dictate who our friends are to us. How we remember the holiday or vacation determines how we view the people we were with. A minister should take care to be absent occasionally, for regular prayer, so that a memory of him as a reminder of grace can be formed.

Finally, he calls ministers to remind people of the past in such a way that calls them to a better future. The great reformers reminded us of our heritage to call us to a better today. Luther called us back to the better theology. Wesley called us back to better practices. Theresa called us back to better service. Etc. Ministers need to know how to use stories to call their people back to their better selves.

I loved this book and I think you will too.
Profile Image for Cathy.
617 reviews12 followers
August 1, 2018
This is a very short book on the importance of spending time in prayer for Christians in full-time ministry. The author argues that: 1) Full-time ministry entails reminding people that God heals our past, sustains our present, and guides our future; 2) In order to remind people of these things, it's crucial for full-time ministers to spend time in prayer, because a) Our spiritual life will be stronger when we spend more time praying; b) Seeing ministers spending so much time praying will encourage believers and remind them how prayer can also sustain them; c) Prayer is not just a tool that helps make ministry more effective, but an important part of ministry itself.

I really like how the author's argument that individuals are basically shaped by our memories. We are what we remember. He describes our faith as our "memory" of Christ's healing, sustenance, and guidance. Seen from this lens, religious practices (studying the Bible, listening to sermons/encouragement...etc.) are basically attempts that aim at reminding believers of these past memories. And that is why Moses and the prophets continues to remind Israelites of their salvation from Egypt and the importance of following God's law. I thought this was interesting.
Profile Image for Luke Hillier.
567 reviews32 followers
November 3, 2025
Classic Nouwen and possibly one of my favorites from him as this feels like such a distilled offering, all meat and no bones. The contents were first presented as a trio of lectures that Nouwen gave at an ACPE conference for chaplains. One of the subtleties he is advocating for is a reclaiming and recentering of spirituality in the field, which he suggests has drifted too far into a strictly professional realm. He loves organizing his ideas into parallel structures and does so here with moving success. The first section draws from the pastoral image to promote the practice of being a healing reminder of God's solidarity in suffering to address the wounds of the past. Second, he engages the priestly image to encourage being a sustaining reminder who evokes God's presence (both through our presence and our absence) in present hardships. And thirdly he evokes the prophetic image as basis for being guiding reminders who use confrontation and inspiration to prompt movement towards the future.
Profile Image for Amanda Dora.
26 reviews3 followers
September 7, 2023
“It is not hard to see how many of our busy actions and restless concerns seem to be disconnected, reminding us of nothing more than the disorder of our own orientation and commitment. When we no longer walk in the presence of the Lord, we cannot be living reminders of his divine presence in our lives. We then quickly become strangers in an alien land who have forgotten where we come from and where we are going. Then we are are no longer the way to the experience of God, but rather in the way of the experience of God. Then, instead of walking in God’s presence we start walking in a vicious circle, and pulling others into it.” (p29)
Profile Image for Paige Sagach.
49 reviews10 followers
March 24, 2025
"Prayer is not a way of being busy with God instead of with people. In fact, it unmasks the illusion of busyness, usefulness, and indispensability. It is a way of being empty and useless in the presence of God and so of proclaiming our basic belief that all is grace and nothing is simply the result of hard work. Indeed, wasting time for God is an act of ministry, because it reminds us and our people that God is free to touch anyone regardless of our well-meant efforts."

A beautiful little book that doesn't quite mirror other how-to-be-a-better-minister books. A convicting and soul-warming read.
Profile Image for Tim.
752 reviews8 followers
April 13, 2018
Another wonderful little book on ministry by Nouwen. He seeks to incorporate knowledge from behavioral sciences while maintaining a spiritual focus - something that we might take for granted in a writer today, but I think it was more groundbreaking then.
He encourages the minister to heal past wounds through offering an accepting presence; he encourages the minister to sustain people through prayer & absence; and he encourages ministers to inspire with hope through meditating on the word, sharing it's stories, and embodying them.
137 reviews
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September 9, 2019
THE JIVING REMINDER
BY HENRI J.M. NOUWER

Ibought this book at our church book fair because I like Henri Nouwen. It is a small book only 78 pages.But in those few pages is a lot of wisdom. This book was written for ministers, It was written in
1977 . Although It Is 42 years old the wisdom in this small book still applies today even to lay ministers in the church.
Profile Image for Stephanie G.
32 reviews3 followers
May 15, 2022
One of the most remarkable books I have read and a book I feel all pastors should read. This is a book I will reference back to time and time again in the future. It was written years ago, but it’s concepts ring as true today as the days in which they were written. I wish this was required reading for every pastor in training and in every ministry school. I loved every word and feel so encouraged and inspired!
Profile Image for Rich Thornton.
297 reviews
January 25, 2023
I was given this book in 1980 when I was figuring out my way as a minister of Jesus. I have a lot underlined from that reading and now, 40 plus years later, it is still helpful and I am still figuring out my way as a minister of Jesus. Nouwen tells stories and shares ideas that help to point to what it means to remind others of Jesus. We do it sometimes by being there with someone and sometimes by being absent and they remember that we were there.
Profile Image for Mark Einselen.
338 reviews6 followers
June 17, 2024
Classic Nouwen. Simultaneously philosophical and practical. He has an effortless way of making incredible concepts immensely relatable. There were insights throughout, however I thought this particular book was a little light up until the epilogue. That is where Nouwen organizes his concepts into neat categories of "Pastor, Priest, Prophet" and concludes everything with clarity. That nudged it up to a 4 star rating.
Profile Image for Christopher Pokorny.
337 reviews10 followers
May 5, 2019
Nouwen explores the uniqueness of a minister as compared to a mental health provider. He outlines the life of Christ as pastor, priest and prophet. Many times we want to play deaf, dumb and blind instead of returning to our people, faithful to our vocation and growing in humility and love. Good book for the soul of a chaplain!
Profile Image for Laura Kisthardt.
671 reviews12 followers
March 26, 2019
What a wonderful short reflection from Nouwen! I read this book in one sitting. It was assinged in Spring 2019 for my pre-CPE course at Yale Divinity School. I wish every student had to read this at the beginning of seminary. This short book would make a nice gift for someone new to ministry.
Profile Image for Rachel.
4 reviews5 followers
May 16, 2024
Beautiful meditation on the nature of Christian vocational ministry. Has resonance with narrative therapy and seeing one's story as part of a larger Christian story. This is one I would pick up for encouragement when facing burn out or fatigue.
Profile Image for Keith.
349 reviews8 followers
February 5, 2019
Nouwen sets forth some essentials roles of the minister, describing their functions in the daily life of those around them. A very helpful reminder.
Profile Image for Cecily.
32 reviews2 followers
March 5, 2022
Exceptional book on leadership and ministry. Nouwen was a prophetic guide for those who seek to bring incarnation ministry to a despairing world.
Profile Image for Caitlin Grammel.
110 reviews1 follower
May 8, 2022
Minister is unavailable to me because he is with God! Love that. We must walk with God to be living reminders.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Ash.
56 reviews
October 13, 2022
A brief but good reminder of why I became a minister and my roles as pastor, priest, and prophet
25 reviews
April 17, 2025
An insightful look at the responsibility of the minister. As an aspiring pastor, it was an uplifting insight into what my responsibilities are as a steward of God's flock.
Profile Image for Trevor.
601 reviews14 followers
January 15, 2020
This is a very small book I bought in a used bookstore because why not? Nouwen is looking at the role of a pastor and suggests that an important aspect of it is to serve as a living memory of Jesus Christ. He complains at the end that the book ended up rather conventional but he guesses that is a good thing.

I'm not a pastor. But I am a Bible teacher and a missionary; in a way I serve a pastoral role to my students and so I still found this book to be pretty applicable.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews

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