The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent

by Ann Jacobus

Finalist for both the 2023 California Book Award for YA Literature and the Northern California Book Award for YA Literature. Eighteen-year-old Del is in a healthier place than she was a year and a half ago: She's sober, getting treatment for her depression and anxiety, and volunteering at a suicide prevention hotline. Her own suicide attempt is in the past, and living in San Francisco with her beloved aunt has helped her see a future for herself. But when Aunt Fran is diagnosed with terminal cancer, Del's equilibrium is shattered. As she struggles to care for her aunt, along with a looming first semester of college, and a visiting childhood crush, she has no choice but to prepare herself for the inevitable. Del must confront her own demons and rethink everything she thought she knew about life and death.

"Jacobus has done a beautiful job with many difficult subjects, striking just the right tone and treating her highly sympathetic characters with dignity and compassion." BOOKLIST

"Intensely emotional and honest." PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY

Readers "interested in mental and physical health will closely follow Del’s interactions with her family, fellow AA attendees, Nick, the crisis line callers, and Fran’s hospice coordinator, who helps Del understand the place of death within human existence. San Francisco forms a strong backdrop to this thought-provoking novel. Honestly and courageously explores sensitive topics.” KIRKUS

"A beautiful story of love, hope, and resilience...an extremely thoughtful and moving examination of death that focuses on the honor of being with someone when they die. A complex read that isn’t easy but is worth it.” SCHOOL LIBRARY JOURNAL TEEN LIBRARIAN TOOLBOX

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Contemporary, Mental Health, Realistic Fiction, Audiobook, Coming Of Age

352 pages, Hardcover

First published March 7, 2023

About the author

Ann Jacobus writes young adult novels, as well as fiction for younger readers, articles, essays, and the occasional poem. She has an MFA in writing for Children and Young Adults from Vermont College of Fine Arts. A former suicide crisis-line counselor, she's a mental health advocate and likes to shout out books for younger readers that deal well with the subject of mental illness. When not reading or writing, she binge-watches TV series, swims, and sails. She divides her time between California and Massachusetts.

Reviews

[♥︎ Heather ⚔ (New House-Hiatus)]

Because my bby Cara wrote such a compelling and stunning review... I'm convinced!

Twisting Meagan's arm to buddy read with me 😁

[Lydia Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book. This story really hits close to home for me because I went through some of the same things eighteen year old Del went through. Del's mom who was bipolar died in a suicidal car crash, her dad travels a lot due to business and her Aunt Fran is the only person she has in her life. She lives with her and works at her aunt's art gallery while also working at a suicidal hot line. Del deals with her own mental issues, alcoholism and suicide attempts. Her Aunt finds out she has cancer and Del has to learn to deal with losing her Aunt. What a heartbreaking story as Del watches her Aunt waste away. Del can't bare to lose her Aunt so she does everything she can to try to hold on to her as long as she can. Del grows from these tragedies and becomes closer to her Dad. There is also a hint of a romance in this story between Nick and Del. I finished this book in one day. I highly recommend it.

[Destiny · Rating 5 out of 5]

In The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent, eighteen-year-old Delilah ("Del") is recovering from her own suicide attempt, getting treatment for her depression and anxiety, and most importantly, maintaining her newfound sobriety. Living with her beloved aunt and working at a suicide prevention crisis line, Del is making a way for herself in San Francisco.

Del's progress is upended when her Aunt Fran is diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. Now left to help tend to Fran's hospice care and one mind-boggling final request from Fran herself, Del is forced to rethink her whole life and face many hard decisions, meanwhile tackling her own demons along the way.

Ann Jacobus writes a courageous story of a brave girl learning to cope with her own problems while being side-swiped by a whole new reality. Del's struggles are so universal and relatable that even if you've never faced addiction or attended AA, you can still feel your soul be moved by her epic journey of self-discovery and growth along the course of the novel.

The writing is beautiful and moving throughout. In fact, the poetry written by Aunt Fran that is interspersed periodically really tugs at the heartstrings and sets your emotions on high.

Further, if you're like me, and are as riveted by the novel's conclusion and find yourself reading the Author's Note, you'll see how this gorgeous book came to pass and I can guarantee your eyes will no longer be dry, if they aren't already waterfalls!

[Liralen · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I adored Jacobus's first novel, Romancing the Dark in the City of Light, so I leapt at the chance to read The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent. It didn't disappoint.

Set in 2015, The Coldest Winter follows Del, who lives with her aunt Fran in San Francisco. With a complicated family history and her own struggles with depression, addiction, and anxiety, Del's not sure that her loved ones fully trust her with her life—and she's not sure they should, either. Still, Del's holding it together—until Fran is diagnosed with cancer, and Del's carefully crafted present and future start to crumble.

Until about the midpoint of the book, I wasn't sure about Del. One of the things I loved so much about Romancing the Dark was how distinct it felt from so much of the YA I've read—how much it felt like the protagonist had aged beyond her time. Del, too, has been through the wringer, but it's not until later in the book that that experience truly starts to shape her into who she can become.

When things get hard for Fran, though: that's when the book starts to sing. I spent 2022 in what we'll call a family cancer plotline of my own, and I'm not sure I would have been able to finish the book—wait, keep reading, that's a compliment—if Fran's cancer had been more similar to my family's experience. Del's grief, and perhaps more to the point her pre-grief, are palpable, and by the end of the book I could read only a few pages at a time before pausing and turning to something else for a few minutes. Only three books in the history of ever have made me cry, and I'm not looking to add to that list. If I'd stopped to think about it, I probably would have concluded that I wasn't in a place to read this right now—but it's just as well that I don't have a lot of bookish self-control. For all that this is set in 2015 (and there are reasons for that, but I won't spoil them), this is one of the most up-to-date looks at depression, grief, and (again, no spoilers) things surrounding those topics that I've seen in fiction in quite some time.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

[Stephanie Fitzgerald · Rating 4 out of 5]

A tough book to read, due to the subject matter. I’m glad I chose to read it, though. It’s the type of book that stays with you long after finishing, with major food for thought.

Trigger Warnings:
Mentions of attempted suicide; a completed suicide takes place; mental illness and depression; teen drinking and drug use; death of a family member due to lingering illness.

*The title comes from a quote usually attributed to Mark Twain, but some have disputed that claim.
“ The coldest winter I ever spent was the summer I spent in San Francisco.” I would have to agree; years ago, walking back from a night tour of Alcatraz, all I could think of was hot chocolate and that I hadn’t been this cold in Alaska!*

[Sarah (berriesandbooks) · Rating 1 out of 5]

For anyone who is interested in reading books that deal with the topics of suicide and anxiety with the reverence and severity they deserve, please message me. Stay away from this book. I have truly never read such a callous and flippant take on such a serious subject matter. Trigger warning: a suicide attempt is mentioned in the review below.

Suicide and depression are not light matters, yet Del, our main character, did not seem to understand this. The first chapter starts out with Del, volunteering at a suicide-prevention call line when she gets a call from a girl who is about to jump off a bridge. It is an intense and scary exchange that will hit close to home with many readers. After successfully getting the girl aid, I was interested to see how this would segue into Del's trauma from her own suicide attempt a year and a half ago. Instead, her response made me sick to my stomach. Her immediate thought afterward is how this will prove to her aunt that she is mentally well and capable of going to college on her own. Her second thought is about how this story will impress her crush. I had to put the book down after that part. This is such a cold view of a horrific circumstance. For a main character who has attempted to take her life before, how is she so callous, and sees this as something to be exploited for personal gain? How is someone with such a recent own attempt on her life allowed to work at a suicide prevention line? How would Del feel if the people that "saved" her, used her attempt as a story to attribute to their own heroics? Admittedly, after that, I had a feeling I would not like the rest of the book, but I continued on. However, after she was more concerned about an incoming text from her crush while in an AA meeting, and how she did not want her crush's service dog third wheeling on her "date," I was done. Maybe Del changes along the way, but I do not care. Suicide, anxiety, and depression are topics that should be handled with the utmost respect. Please, run fast and far away from this book.

Thank you to Net Galley and Lerner publishing group for the advanced copy. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Autum]

Saw Cara’s review and immediately came here to add it fr

[Sheila Samuelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

❗❗ TRIGGER WARNING❗❗
If you or someone you know has suffered with or has Sucidal Thoughts, Depression and Anxiety Issues then this book is DEFINATELY one you dont want to read since those issues are discussed VER HEAVILY in this Book!!

Rating: 5 Stars!!
Review:
Thank you to BookInfluencers and Ann Jacobus for picking me to participate in this Paid Promotion Book Tour earlier this year!! This book really grabbed at my heartstrings and touched on certain feelings of My Grief since losing My Dad 20 1/2 Months Ago.

The Characters were so interesting to read about. Delilah and Aunt Fran were definately my favorites. Loved how close they became as Aunt and Neice, makes me wish i was closer to my own aunts.

The Setting was beautifully described which made me feel like i was actually in San Francisco California while reading especially when the scenery was described.

Overall a Phenomenal Mental Health Novel for all Teens and Adults to read!! Can't wait to read more by Ann in the future!!

[Dana Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book! It’s super emotional and deep, and it’s written so well. The story was incredible and powerful. I couldn’t put it down!

[Kaitlyn Hoyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book about grief, death and dying, suicide, addiction, mental illness, physical illness, honesty, family, and probably more. It just covers it all in a novel and I’m glad to have stumbled across it.

[Dianne Alvine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not an easy read because it deals with Suicidal ideation, drug/alcohol addiction, hospice, and end of life. The two main characters are Del, and her Aunt Fran, who are each dealing with several of these issues. Ann Jacobs has written a true to life, heartfelt story, and with her background in suicide prevention, as well as being a mental health advocate, she presents the reader with well founded knowledge, and treats her characters with much love. I can empathize with the pain and suffering that we, as humans, go through in this life. It was a very well written story, but having recently lost a very dear friend, who passed away after much pain and suffering, the landscape of grief, loss and sadness was a very palpable hit to my heart and gut.

[Karin houdt van boeken · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks for the review copy!
‘This book involves discussions of suicidal ideation and references to suicide’. That was what I read on @bookinfluencers. Without a doubt I registered for this book. I love heavy reads, so I NEEDED to read this one. And I did!

Unfortunately I’m well known with depression and being suicidal. I’m glad that it’s all over for me now since a couple of years. But it makes these kind of subjects more interesting for me. I went through it for about 20 years.

And now the book:

The first chapter hit like a truck. I almost cried reading this first chapter. That never happened to me before, this soon. Well at least I knew now this read was gonna be an emotional ride.
Del is a young girl who works at a suicide hotline. She had some problems herself with addiction and depression. She lives with her aunt Fran. Del is not a typical girl I think. She felt more like a boy to me. And I don’t really know why, but I did like it.
But it’s also a book about cancer. Del’s aunt gets cancer again.

The book is really funny. Which I always love with the more heavy subjects.
But ofcourse it’s not all funny. There were a lot of talks about depression and being suicidal. I really felt that because of my past.

If you want to know how it really feels to have a depresssion, read this book! It gives you a good view of it.

Absolutely loved this one. This was perfection ❤️
It was very difficult to put this book away every now and then.
The book really crawls under your skin and I really like that in a book.

Pls people. Just read this book, it’s worth it!
I wish I could read this book for the first time again.
I started the book crying and ended that way again. Wow.

I give this book:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Hellerzilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who lost her grandmother to cancer, this was a difficult but empowering read. Mental health is always a top priority for me, and I highly recommend always checking in on loved ones because we're all human fighting our own battles.

Be kind to one another and say you love each other whenever you get the chance. ❤️

[Connor Adamson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book was a welcome reprieve and reminder that skilled writers prove true the idiom that it's not what a story is about, but how it is about it. The premise of an entire book about a depressed teenager/young-adult constantly in her head about her anxieties sounds like it could be fuel for absolute schlock and melodrama. And indeed, I've read two other YA books with similar protags and premises that were torturous to read because the authors failed to invest me in their lead character and failed to do anything more than repeat the same overdrawn bits about the character's internal issues.

Not so with The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent. Ann Jacobus's skill as a writer is apparent, and she has honed her craft well to make what is a very depressing book not only engaging, but cathartic even. She manages to channel the internal voice of her protagonist in a more relatable and realistic way, one that isn't overdrawn. Instead, she is highly empathetic.

It helps that the narrative is not focused just on the lead character, Del's, depression and suicide. This is background information that informs the character throughout the narrative, which instead focuses on her aunt dying from cancer and trying to find balance and acceptance in that while also dealing with typical teenager things like crushes and attending college. While this is not any less sad of a plot premise, Jacobus's wise choice to craft strong narrative structure, even in what is a very experiential-type story, keeps the matter moving along.

The internal monologue of Del is also written in a very deft way. We are given an immediate look into her thoughts and the doubts that plague her and drive her towards suicide and alcoholism (she is also an addict), but rarely do these thoughts directly repeat each other. They come at appropriate times in the narrative and the actual dialogue of them feels far more realistic and grounded than many of these books often convey. Del is not just depression girl, but is someone dealing with depression in the context of all else going on.

The book also provides a deep and highly empathetic look into advanced cancer patients. The suffering that Aunt Fran endures in the book is described in lots of detail and helps ground the realism. The emotional pain that Del feels and struggling to come to terms with reality is likewise grounded and anyone who has lost anyone to cancer will undoubtedly deeply relate to this. The afterward certainly informs that the author has dealt with these things.

On top of all of this, the book even manages to slide in a moral debate about assisted suicide and the varying opinions and approaches to it. That this debate is juxtaposed with a main character who attempted suicide and works at a suicide prevention hotline was a bold and interesting choice from Jacobus and lets the reader debate the value of life. There are even sprinklings of religious philosophy, though this feels the most underdeveloped of the various themes out there. Needless to say, this book packs a lot in.

The book isn't perfect. A few aspects feel underbaked or underwritten. The book's second half takes such a deep focus on the advancing of Aunt Fran's cancer that it feels like other plot points get somewhat swept aside. But these are minor complaints on what is an overall strong book. It is certainly a sad and heavy novel and should be entered into with caution. Yet it is a strongly written book. When the big emotional bits at the end drew me to genuine tears, instead of eye-rolls, I knew the book had done its job.

My Casting

Mckenna Grace as Del
Fran Drescher as Aunt Fran
Jason Bateman as Dad
Bryan Tyree Henry as Harold
Jack Champion as Nick

[Annemarie O'brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ann Jacobus's "The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent" is a mesmerizing novel that combines suspense, heartache, and hope into an unforgettable tale. With its evocative prose and well-crafted characters, this book delves into the complexities of human relationships, showcasing the power of resilience and the indomitable spirit of the human heart.

Jacobus's vivid descriptions effortlessly transport readers into a realistic world, where the San Fran backdrop mirrors the emotional challenges faced by the characters. Del, the protagonist, with her unwavering determination, captivates our hearts as we follow her journey of self-discovery.

Balancing moments of introspection with thrilling twists, the author keeps us engaged from start to finish. Themes of grief, forgiveness, and the healing power of connection are expertly explored, leaving a profound emotional impact.

"The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent" is a triumph of storytelling. Jacobus's accessible writing style draws us in, weaving a tale that both captivates and inspires. This book reminds us of the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative potential that lies within each of us.

In summary, if you're searching for a thought-provoking and immersive read that celebrates courage and redemption, look no further than "The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent." Ann Jacobus's masterful storytelling will leave you moved and inspired, long after you've turned the final page.

[Kim Loves Reading! · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this story, so powerful and relatable, don't get me wrong it does have triggers. I struggle with mental health and so this story is moving and inspiring. This is just a tough subject write, few can do it from the heart and make it relatable. Jacobus did it with such conviction that you were cheering for the main character. It has all the struggles of addiction, mental health, loss and finding yourself.

Del is a better place now they she was a year and a half ago. She is sober and getting treatment for her mental health. She is living with her beloved Aunt Fran, who has helped her see a future for herself. But when Aunt Fran's cancer comes back, Del starts to spiral, can you hold it together to save herself and have the strength to care for someone else?

She must confront all her demons and rap her mind around a request from Aunt Fran. With all this her love life looms with possibilities.

This is story of courage in the face of what looks like an impossible decision for someone other than herself.

Read this story this fall/winter, you will not regret it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Lerner Publishing Group for a copy of this book for my honest review.

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Intense! I have all the same situations in my family and I was moved by Del’s struggle with life and death. Her life has been a constant roller coaster of emotions. Her mother died in a car accident; her father is distant. The loving support of Her Aunt Fran has helped her immensely. But now Fran has stage four cancer and young Del is the only one to help her. A well written story of loss and growth. Attaining personal strength. Coming to terms with death.

[Michelle Smith-Palmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Delilah, a soon-to-be college student who also is a volunteer for a suicide crisis line, lives with her favorite aunt, Fran, in an apartment in San Francisco, California. Del enjoys making art collages and rollerblading. Fran manages a successful art gallery and has a charismatic yet easy-going personality which is what anxiety-driven Del needs in her life. Aunt Fran became Del's lifeline following her suicide attempt as a teenager and has since helped Del to get sober and ready to enter college on her own. A childhood friend, Nick, becomes a part of Del's social circle in San Francisco because of an internship and soon Del is feeling more than friendship for him, but does he feel the same way? Del thinks the summer could be looking up for her, but as she seems to be at a place in her life where she could finally get her life together, her aunt tells her that she has cancer. The cancer unfortunately is terminal. The summer is filled with Del taking care of her aunt and learning how to cope with being introduced to the dying process through Fran's hospice care. Del learns that maybe being closer to understanding our deaths, helps us to become more aware of living fuller lives.

Though death and suicide are difficult topics, Jacobus takes the reader to respectful inquiry on these subjects through each of her characters. The main character, Del, is faced with a tough job, taking care of her aunt at the end of her life, but she learns how death can be a holy process and ultimately it ignites a greater fire in her to live after her aunt's passing. The accounts that are depicted of people that call into the crisis center are honest but helpful to the story as we see how this volunteering affects Del and her understanding of respecting others' choices about their lives and deaths. She also learns important lessons about mental health care throughout the story. The reader is privy to how Del copes with her own mental health in both constructive and very destructive ways. Readers who are going through similar life experiences and lessons surrounding death, mental health issues, suicidality, anxiety, cancer, etc., may find this story relatable and comforting. This book contains complex and emotional topics. This book should be for audiences of mature young adults to adults.

[Anna Kefalas · Rating 5 out of 5]

picture this: an 18 year old girl sitting criss cross applesauce on the floor in a navy A-line rehearsal skirt, black 2-inch character shoes, and mismatched polka dot socks, so immersed in the book she is reading that she nearly misses her cue to enter for act 2 of the chekhov play she is currently performing in.
yeah. that's me.
i devoured this gem of a book in mere hours. as such, i was also reminded why i cannot read books in rehearsal. ach, live and learn.
but that's what i got from this book.
live.

[Telina Duvall · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don't let 3 stars trick you, its a good read. Its just not one I will be recommending to the masses. Its a wonderful story about life, grief, depression, suicide, and so much more. Just losing my own grandfather 2 months ago made this one a hard read, especially at the end for me. It def has an audience and I am glad the author wrote it.

[Regan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gift for anyone -- anyone who knows someone who has suffered from depression or addiction, anyone who has suffered from those illnesses themselves, anyone who has lost someone to terminal illness...basically everyone. It is beautifully written and although a tough subject it is not a tough read. It is true and emotional and somehow life affirming.

[Karen Siddall · Rating 5 out of 5]

After a challenging journey, there was peace at the end.

Although Del, the young protagonist, travels a tough journey, there is ultimately peace and hope for all in The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent, the new contemporary young adult novel by Ann Jacobus. The book tackles some of the most difficult topics, too: suicide, alcoholism, and death, so ending up with such a compelling and satisfying story, the author has met and overcome some big challenges. This story is special.

Del, the eighteen-year-old main character, although doing better than she had been a year and a half earlier, is maintaining a fragile balance between recovery and relapse. She is beset with anxiety, depression, alcoholism, and the heavy, awkward baggage that comes from how people react to her past. It was eye-opening to realize how maintaining that balance was a constant battle for her, seeing her coping well one minute and then not the next.

Her Aunt Fran’s terminal diagnosis is a tipping point for Del, who continues to grasp at cures long after her aunt has recognized the futility and decided on an altered path for her future. The story explores in depth through Fran and Del’s ensuing experiences of the dying process: our modern removal or distancing from the process, attitudes, and physical stages. Fran’s death is not done behind closed doors. Del, and subsequently the reader, is there for the pain, symptoms, and bodily changes. Fran’s final weeks are assisted with hospice care, and how that works is part of the story.

Complicating matters are Del’s relationships with the two men in her life: her father and her childhood friend, Nick. Her father had turned over his daughter to his sister and abdicated his presence as a parent through fear and grief. Del had also pinned some romantic hopes and dreams on Nick after a visit the previous year had ended with a kiss. She’d spent the time since obsessing over that single kiss and building it up in her mind, while Nick had not. The mismatch in expectations when he comes to nearby Berkley for a summer internship, makes for an awkward reunion and heartbreak for Del.

The audiobook, skillfully voiced by narrator Jen Zhao, imbues the work with the solid feel of reality. Jen became the voice of Del, and I felt like I was hearing the character herself pour out her heart and soul to me. Zhao alters her voice appropriately to distinguish the other characters from each other. I thought her performance enhanced an already great book.

I recommend THE COLDEST WINTER I EVER SPENT to readers of contemporary young adult fiction that includes serious topics such as suicide, death, and dying.

I voluntarily reviewed this after receiving an Advanced Review Copy from the author through Lone Star Book Blog Tours.

[Shelley]

Author's guest post at my blog:
https://bookfare.blogspot.com/2022/12...

[Dianne White · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE COLDEST WINTER I EVER SPENT is a brave and honest look at extremely important topics, one or more of which have touched most of us by way of family, extended family, friends, or friends of friends. These are topics many people are reluctant to talk about, and yet, in order to honor and acknowledge the truth of them, we need to bring these conversations into the open.

Ann Jacobus has done just that, writing a stunning and powerful novel that is not afraid to speak openly about terminal illness, substance abuse, and suicide prevention/suicide. In this way, THE COLDEST WINTER I EVER SPENT offers information, comfort, and encouragement to a reader with a family member or friend who is struggling, or a reader who is, themselves, going through a hard time.

Powerful and unflinching, this is a book of hope and resilience. Beautifully crafted and told, I could not put it down.

[Jame_EReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @purpleshelfmedia and @lernerbooks for this heavyweight and eye-opening read and also for having me on this booktour. My daughter read this book and her review as follows:

This heavy topic book is so cringy but super interesting and good! This is almost Patricia McCormick’s Cut and more. Suicide, alcoholism and depression are scary topics and I am happy to have read this book to be more aware of the problems happening everywhere. Del’s life is so sad and I am sure nobody wants to be in her shoes. After knowing her aunt’s cancer diagnosis, her life spiraled even out of control. And when her crush Nick came back, this gave her the opportunity to see better days. Also her volunteering job at the suicide hotline helped her see things differently. It is such a great book and I hope everyone gets the chance to read this book! I really love this book!!!

[Arrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book perfectly captures a person who is spiraling because it feels like the world around her is falling apart. It discusses controversial and/or triggering topics such as suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism, addiction, cancer, hospice, and assisted suicide. The pacing of the book helped the plot flow smoothly.

[natalie ✧˚ · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW.

I wasn't sure what to expect going into this book, but it is safe to say that I am coming out of it in tears. This book has a beautiful sentiment that reminds the reader that death is a normal and beautiful part of life, and that it is an honor to be able to support someone through their final stage. This book hit very close to home for me, especially since I finished this book on the one-year anniversary of the death of someone that I loved and was very close to.

The topics covered in this book are heavy, but the author doesn't sugarcoat or attempt to glorify any of them. As someone with firsthand experience to many of the events that this book goes through, it is very realistic. As a side note, I appreciate the author's note at the end of the book, as that details the author's experience with death and the dying process in her own life.

Delilah and Aunt Fran are beautiful and complicated characters, and it's not always easy to convey such complex personalities and experiences in writing. This book will hold a special place in my heart forever, and I cannot wait to purchase the physical copy once it is published.

A huge thank you to Ann Jacobus, Lerner Publishing Group, and NetGalley for providing me a digital ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Sue LaNeve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ann Jacobus is a highly skilled researcher, wordsmith, and storyteller. In her masterpiece, The Coldest Winter I Ever Spent, her powerful opening chapter sucked me in and engaged me with characters I grew to care about and will never forget. The protagonist's experience of depression and anxiety pierced my heart as she dealt with suicide and its prevention. Her relationships felt true to life, one leading her to face the questions of Death with Dignity, a brilliant layering of relative issues. Each subsequent chapter, filled with engaging subplots, moved me with fresh metaphors and sensory detail that elevated my experience of reading beyond anything I've read in quite a while. Jacobus' significant research, family history, and background informed and entertained me. I was honored and privileged to read the manuscript before its release. The experience, however, proved to be an evocative explosion of memory and emotion. Highly recommend.

[Stephanie G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Bay Area Crisis Line. This is Del, how can I help you?" From the first sentence to the last, in a voice whose authenticity is unmistakable, THE COLDEST WINTER I EVER SPENT tells the riveting story of 18-year-old Del and her day-to-day battle to stay afloat in spite of crippling anxiety, depression, weekly AA meetings, and her attempt at suicide eighteen years earlier that no one around her seems able to forget - or let her forget. Living with her beloved aunt in San Francisco helps, as does her friendship with a boy she's known all her life. But when her aunt receives a terminal cancer diagnosis and the man who Del's trying to help on the crisis line throws himself off the building from which he called, she loses her tenuous grip on life. Spiraling out of control and questioning being alive seem inevitable. But the surprise and wonder of this novel is that instead of falling apart, Del survives. Her strong aunt, helpless and dependent on Del as she approaches the end of life, is fighting every step of the way. Seeing her courage finally gives Del the skills she needs to live her own life. She learns how to cope. She learns how to handle what life throws at her, without fear. Life is all there is; life is worth fighting for.

[Tracy Shouse · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the saddest books I have ever read. This one will make you ugly cry, especially if you have ever watched a loved one leave this world. Jacobus handles the topic of death with honesty and grace. This is a beautifully written story about addiction, mental health, hospice care, love, and dying with dignity. The characters in this book will draw you in emotionally and you will not be able to put the book down. The realistic portrayal of being there for someone in the end is powerful and compelling. A must read for all ages but be aware of the trigger warning in the beginning.