“ Hot and Bothered removes the shame, disdain, and mystery that’s surrounded menopause….An informative, entertaining and desperately needed book.” —Jen Sincero, author of You Are a Badass
When Jancee Dunn hit her mid-forties, she was bombarded by seemingly random rampant insomnia, spring-loaded nerves, weirdly dry mouth, and Rio Grande-level periods. After going to multiple doctors who ran test after fruitless test, she was surprised to finally discover the culprit—perimenopause. For more than two decades, Jancee had been reporting on mental and physical health. So if she was unprepared for this, what about all the women who don’t write about health for a living?
Hot and Bothered is the book she wishes existed as she was scrambling for an empowering, research-based guide on how women can tackle this new stage of life. Menopause isn’t a disease, but a natural, normal life transition. Why, then, are we still speaking in whispers about something that affects half the earth’s population?
Through in-depth interviews with renowned menopause experts and trusted authorities, Dunn peels back the layers on this still-mystifying topic with her trademark humor and unpacks the science on both hormonal and nonhormonal treatments. She provides actionable ways to improve sleep, sex, moods, mental clarity, and skin; details the latest treatments for hot flashes; and explores the best practices to stop “peezing” (that would be peeing when you sneeze, thanks to your new urinary issues). Dunn’s clear, easy-to-follow advice will help you reclaim yourself—and fully embrace life’s next chapter.
New York Times bestselling author Jancee Dunn has written five books, among them the rock memoir But Enough About Me and the essay collection Why Is My Mother Getting A Tattoo? And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had To Ask, which was a finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor. Her latest book, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids, will be out in March 2017. She also writes for many publications, among them The New York Times, Vogue, Parents, Health, and Travel and Leisure. She lives in Brooklyn.
I saw this one on Libby, so I thought I'd give it a whirl since I've been in menopause for a few years now.
While I cannot relate to all of the information provided I found it to be very well researched. I wish I could quote some things, but since I was listening I'm not able to. The biggest takeaway might be how we should not consider this a stigma. It's not embarrassing or gross (well you might feel gross with the lovely night sweats), but it's something every lady will go through and shouldn't be hidden or shied away from. If we're living through it then it means we're alive and what more can we ask for.
Narration notes ~ the author narrated for 6 hours and 59 minutes and did a fine job.
My story Most ladies are eased into menopause by first going into peri~menopause. Not me, I went into surgery and woke up right into the joys of full blown menopause.
Being BRCA positive increases the risk of male and female breast cancer, ovarian cancer (including fallopian tube and primary peritoneal cancers), and to a lesser extent other cancers such as prostate, pancreatic, and melanoma. Since I carry the BRCA 1 gene mutation I chose to have a full hysterectomy and oophorectomy in March 2019 (and a double mastectomy in June 2019). This was my first surgery I had ever had, so I figured while the Dr was in there she might as well take everything, so now I don't have to worry about uterine, fallopian tube or cervical cancer either. About 1.2% of women in the general population will develop ovarian cancer sometime during their lives (1). By contrast, 39%–44% of women who inherit a harmful BRCA1 variant and 11%–17% of women who inherit a harmful BRCA2 variant will develop ovarian cancer by 70–80 years of age.
TMI Since I lost the ovaries I wear a estradiol patch every day to ease my symptoms, which it does if I change it on time. Sometimes I go a little longer before changing it than I should because I'm cheap. And, also, I forget because my short term memory isn't like it used to be. But I can certainly tell you something my hub did 16 years ago that made me mad 🤣. If I wake up with a migraine I know it's time to change it. If I'm a meany pants to my family I know it's time to change it. Since I lost the uterus I take progesterone once in a while. Again, not as often as I probably should because I'm cheap. (I had my surgeon take a picture of my uterus ~ so cool to see) I have to make sure I get enough calcium, so my bones don't deteriorate too quickly. Got to watch out for heart disease too, but don't we all since it's the #1 killer of women. My hair is dry and I only need to wash it 2x ~3x a week, which does wonders for my brazilian blowout. It used to be a greasy frizz mop, but not anymore. Anyway, I always like to take a quick opportunity to raise awareness about BRCA when I read a book that touches on the subject.
I wanted to like this book more than I did. It started out funny and relatable. However it quickly degraded into a medical book basically disregarding natural therapies and pushing the reader to go to their doctor. A lot.I found myself getting bored and skimming whole chapters.
That being said there was some good research on history and beliefs about menopause.
This book should be provided to every woman when she hits the age of 40. Without Hot and Bothered, I would continue to think I'm the only woman on planet earth whose body went haywire at the start of perimenopause.
Women after 35 are treated as invisible in so many aspects of their lives, so it comes as no surprise that something 50% of the world population will go through is swept under the rug. But with books like this, and writers willing to ask questions about why we ignore menopause as a medical condition, maybe change can occur.
There are no easy answers in here because research isn't happening with regard to this part of women's health. On the upside, Dunn will inspire many of us to start becoming the squeaky wheel and no longer accept the it-is-what-it-is or it's-all-in-your-head answer.
************************* Thank you to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam's Sons for the ARC in exchange for an honest review. Expected publication May 22, 2023.
If you could have told me five years ago that I would be reading the upcoming Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You about Menopause and How to Feel Like Yourself Again, I would have scoffed. Menopause is something my MOM and her friends go through, not me and my “girls”. After all, I’m too young for all of that.
And yet, it’s true. One day you’re carded everywhere you go, the next the check out girl is saying ma’am, causing you to look around until sadly, you realize it’s you she’s addressing. 😞
At 45, I am a mere few weeks ago from officially being in the stage of life known as menopause. Younger than most, but old enough for it to be possible, my OBGYN sadly confirmed what I already knew to be true at my annual visit.
While he did mention the somewhat controversial, hormone therapy (also directly addressed in this book), right now my symptoms are mild- i.e. a few extra pounds I frustratingly can’t seem to shed and hot flashes, controlled thus far by black cohosh.
Still, as I gingerly enter this next phase of my life, I plan to tackle this as I have any other aspect of my health- with careful research and fierce determination. You could say in many ways this book found me at the right time. Author @janceedunn acknowledges there’s a lot of misinformation coupled with lack of information, but that this generation is more open about what they are experiencing, encouraging more discussion and less of a death sentence.
Non fiction can be hard to review. I found myself highlighting a lot of the passages that referenced specific products, experts, and resources. This book is a great jumping off point, but the author herself makes no bones about no one resource being the end all be all. That being said, I did find a lot of points that seem worth returning to and would gladly recommend this resource to my women friends who haven’t quite joined me on this leg of life’s journey…yet.
Holy crap, this book is depressing. I thought I could count on humor and a balanced perspective from Dunn, a writer whose books I’ve enjoyed in the past. I was wrong. The book begins by acknowledging the almost complete lack of research, understanding, instruction, or concern in the medical community about women in this stage of life. But then Dunn turns to a select few “menopause specialists,” who insist that “really, it can all be easily treated, if you just ask the right questions to the right people.…” Neither Dunn nor her cohort of rare experts explain how, or with what. There is just the suggestion that women should spend the better part of their 40s & 50s in medical offices, having disconnected conversations where no one really knows what to say or do. Perhaps my biggest frustration is that Dunn doesn’t really address the questionable wisdom of entrusting our bodies to medical solutions that are almost completely untested (although apparently there are, somewhere, a few intrepid researchers pouring saline into tiny mouse vaginas in search of medical breakthroughs to sell us…) I kept waiting for a light moment, or even a personal anecdote. Something to break up the horror. But unless you count the story of how Dunn attracted a school of piranha when an unexpected late period started while she was swimming in the Bahamas, there is no break to be found.. The book just goes on and on, in page after page of horrific examples of every awful thing that this stage of life can hold for women, pausing only to wonder, repeatedly, why we avoid this delightful subject in everyday conversation. My eyes could not roll far enough back in my head as she kept quoting this odd mix of gynecologists and celebrities who insist we should all be talking about this openly and often…because more time discussing the hot flashes will….well, she doesn’t say. She just wants us all to talk about it all, in excruciating detail. While I certainly hope the research with the tiny mouse vaginas leads to something helpful, I think I’ll opt out of this conversation until the results are in. There’s still a good life to be lived, and focusing intently on unavoidable challenges is rarely the path to enjoying it.
Thanks (sort of) to NetGalley for providing a copy of this book.
This paints a bleak picture about perimenopause itself and how negligently it’s addressed by medical professionals. The tone is conversational as I’m told to get a (rare) menopause specialist as I face gaslighting from most medical professionals along with osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease, depression, ageism, and the slew of symptoms on the way. I read this to be better informed but it certainly makes your 40s and 50s sound like the worst time to be a woman. Certainly not when Gwyneth Paltrow is highlighted as a menopausal aspirational woman. I’m all for normalizing menopause, addressing symptoms, and bringing it into the open, but I’m certainly dreading the experience after reading this.
At a particularly relevant moment in my life, I decided to pick up this book. Within, is some autobiographical and a slew of informational detail of menopause. I found myself snickering aloud at some of the scenarios, having been there myself.
But more than that, this book provided me with resources of where to go to get the answer to seemingly hundreds of questions I have about my own body right now. And you can’t put a price on that.
Jancee Dunn and I happened across each other (or rather I chanced upon her) at exactly the right moment in my life. I am forever grateful.
I learned more from this book (and The Menopause Manifesto by Jen Gunter) than I learned from three different doctors I went to look for relief from perimenopause hell- one doc told me to take an ibuprofen, another sent me to therapy, and the last one did hormone testing which I learned in this book, is useless.
Not only is this informative but also a perfect blend of personal experience and science and I found it super relatable. It gave me the tools and the information needed to get actual help. I'm currently awaiting my prescription for MHT and for once I feel something other than apathy (a peri symptom). Recommended for anyone who feels like a feral demon and can't understand why. If you're over 35, chances are it's perimenopause and chances are you'll get zero answers from your doc. So get this book and empower yourself.
As with the also-excellent “Menopause Manifesto,” I bought a hard copy of this book so I could keep it as a resource as I go through perimenopause and beyond. Both have been a wealth of information I haven’t found elsewhere, including from doctors who have blown off my symptoms with “but you’re still having periods?” Her folksy detours into conversations with her sisters and friends are annoying, but don’t take away from the value of the factual information. There are also a number of passages I’d characterize as “pep talks,” such as a script for talking to your partner about hormonal changes, and will just be silly for most adult women with basic communication skills. Additionally, if you already work out daily, eat right, and don’t drink, as I do, the “pep talks” for these health habits take up a lot of wasted space. However, I just skimmed over these parts and still got a lot of useful information, including from the thorough list of references at the back. I prefer “Menopause Manifesto” over “Hot and Bothered,” but I think both are worth reading.
I’m not in menopause yet but one of my clients is so we read this together. There’s a lot of good information in here and validation and I’ll probably look back on this review and laugh when i get to The Change. I struggled with the health article style of the whole book but that is literally this author’s job, she’s a health reporter so duh. It just felt like some of the heavily researched information could have been delivered through real world anecdotes instead of meta analysis of study findings, especially for things like “self esteem is good for you”. Research for medical conditions is obviously important but I think this author missed an opportunity to speak to something deeper than which topical vaginal cream is best. She kind of gets there in the last chapter but then the book ends. Informative but boring to read.
I'm so grateful for receiving and advanced copy of this book. I just turned 52 and I'll be honest, I'd rather not think about menopause and most days I'm in denial that I'm beginning this transition. I'm so glad I read this book!! First, I'm not alone ! This book is surprisingly entertaining as the author shares her experiences and lots of information, medical references and resources. Most importantly she advocates for menopause education and acknowledgement! I learned alot and have tons of resources now! You won't regret picking this book up and reading it.
Humorous and eye-opening, this exploration of menopause discusses the glaring lack of information and discussion surrounding menopause in our society. A seasoned health journalist, the author highlights how women's health often takes a backseat once they've reached a certain age but does so in a way that often made me laugh out loud. She shares her journey into perimenopause, the period leading up to menopause, which typically occurs in a woman's forties. One of my favorite passages was about dry skin: "Dryness is a recurring theme, which in my case tracked. Everything on my body that could become parched did so, from scalp to feet. Even my ears, normally fairly supple as far as ears go, assumed the precise leathery texture of Trader Joe's Unsulphered Just Mango slices." The author tells of trying to hide hot flashes during an interview and grappling with the physical and emotional challenges of menopause. She offers a range of treatments and solutions for menopausal symptoms, acknowledging that every woman's experience is unique. She encourages open discussions about menopause, aiming to make it a normal conversation rather than a hidden, uncomfortable secret.
The book was candid and funny and offered valuable insights into the broader issues surrounding this life stage. It serves as a call to action for open discussions, better education, and increased empathy, ultimately hoping to empower women to navigate menopause with confidence and dignity.
Besides being laugh out loud funny this book is such a resource on all things peri and menopause related. Easy to read and interesting, it’s a comprehensive guide to changes related to skin, hair, mood, sleep, sex and of course hot flashes. The author is brutally honest in sharing her own unique journey. I love the quotes of some many women leaders and icons sprinkled throughout. I feel lucky that so many influential women are going through “the change” and speaking out about it so that it is no longer taboo.
Personally it feels like such a mystery and surprisingly my ob/gyn and primary physician were no help so now I have to advocate for myself.
I will recommend this resource to all my girlfriends.
“Being perpetually baffled makes you feel powerless. The more you know about menopause, the calmer you will be. Knowing that symptoms can be treated, or at least managed, dials down the fear and worry.”
Every woman over 35 should read this book. I listened to the audiobook and I will get an actual copy to underline. This is essential for perimenopause and menopause management. I have been going through this for the past 10 years and it is daunting. I am still trying to ride the highs and lows and find what works for me. The author states that we need to start normalizing a normal part of life and having real conversations about this stage of life.
Informative book about an important topic written in an accessible and light-hearted manner. Interviews with doctors and scientists are interspersed with anecdotes about the author's own journey through menopause. If nothing else the reader will come away with an understanding of how little we understand about menopause and how ill-equipped most healthcare providers are to help their patients through it... the patriarchy is alive and well in healthcare.
There is reference section at the end for readers who are looking for help.
Not a steamy romance! Get a leg up on menopause (heh heh) by reading this fun & informative primer from longtime kickass journalist, Jancee Dunn. Dunn breaks it all down and offers well researched practical tips & solutions for managing a big health event most women will meet with zero preparation. Will be recommending!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Audio (Libby). I feel prepared for menopause!! Too bad I will forget most of the helpful information when I really need it. That's ok, I would not mind reading or listening to this book again. I especially appreciate the author's effort to convince readers to do their part in breaking down the stigma of talking about menopause. Some parts are quite funny!
An absolute must read or listen for anyone dealing with perimenopause. A wealth of information and resources backed by doctors and specialists and research with great stories of what the author went through. I finally don’t feel crazy at some of my symptoms and feel better prepared for this next phase of life.
This is one of the better books on perimenopause and menopause that I have read. Lots of good information with a side of humor. Very easy to read, blew through this one in a day.
The beginning was a history lesson that I could have skipped. The rest was well worth it! I appreciated the funny reality and the push to support each other. I agree it’s time to make the topic common. Well done!
I wasn’t sure what to expect since I placed the book on hold with my local library quite a while ago but I was pleasantly surprised with the stories and advice located within. She gives some interesting insights into menopause that I don’t think most women realize. If you are getting close to the age of menopause, or are going through menopause, I would definitely recommend this book!
An excellently informational book about a topic I know so little about despite the inevitability of menopause significantly impacting my life in the next 10 years. Bonus points for the hilarious vulnerability and stories told alongside the information.
I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I've read other books by this author, and I also enjoyed this one. While this book has some humor in it, it is mostly chock full of GREAT information about menopause. I took so many notes while reading this! She explains this phase of life well, and not clinically. Easy to read and understand. I want to get copies of this to give away to women in their 30s, so they'll be prepared. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one with itchy skin, etc. Thank you for writing this, Ms. Dunn!!
P.S. Also the book has good products mentioned in it, and other sources of information.
Man, did I identify with just about everything in this book. Menopause sucks! But, there are so many things that can be done to make it better, including not being afraid to talk about it. This book was exactly what I needed right now!
While I knew a lot of this information, I did learn a few things. This was very informative, and I thInk should be given to every 40 year old woman - sort of like that little pink booklet my mother gave me when I was 10.