Hikikomori

by Jeff Backhaus

« Un premier roman merveilleux au style limpide. » Wall Street Journal

« Un incontournable. » The New York Post

« Je ne suis pas entré dans cette chambre un beau jour en fermant la porte derrière moi et en décidant de ne plus jamais ressortir. J’avais besoin d’une journée, pour pleurer seul. Puis d’une semaine. Puis d’un mois. J’étais fatigué, j’ai fait un somme. Quand je me suis réveillé, il faisait noir. Les murs étaient hauts. Il n’y avait plus moyen de sortir. »

Voilà trois ans que Thomas Tessler vit reclus dans la chambre de son appartement à New York. Trois ans que sa femme essaie de l’aider à surmonter le drame qui l’a conduit à déserter toute forme de vie sociale en renouant le dialogue avec lui, derrière la porte close. Trois ans qu’elle se heurte à un silence obstiné. Sa dernière chance s’appelle Megumi. Cette jeune Japonaise a fui sa famille quelques années auparavant. La porte close, elle sait ce que c’est : son frère était hikikomori, et elle a tout fait pour le sauver. Le destin de Thomas est désormais entre ses mains.

Un roman bouleversant sur le phénomène de la réclusion volontaire. Aujourd’hui, près d’un million de Japonais vivent entre les quatre murs de leur chambre, marquant ainsi leur refus de prendre part à la marche du monde, mais aussi parfois leur impossibilité à surmonter un échec ou un drame personnel. Pour maintenir un lien avec le hikikomori, des sociétés spécialisées mettent à disposition des familles concernées des « frères » et « sœurs » locatifs qui ont pour mission de les convaincre de renouer avec le monde extérieur. Alors que les sociologues croyaient avoir affaire à un phénomène japonais, les cas de hikikomori sont de plus en plus fréquents dans le monde. Un livre qui parlera à tous ceux qui, derrière une porte close ou un mur d’émotions, ont tenté de renouer le dialogue.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Japan, Literary Fiction, Novels, Asia, Literature

288 pages, Pocket Book

Published September 23, 2016

About the author

Jeff Backhaus has worked as a cook, an art director, and a professional pilot. He has lived and worked in Korea, and now lives in New York.

Reviews

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hikikomori is a Japanese term for social isolation, a withdrawal from society. Thomas withdraws after the death of his son. He feels guilt and depression from the death. He isolates himself for over 3 years. His wife, Silke, hires a "rental sister" who the Japanese use to try and lure the isolated out of his room. Megumi, the young Japanese immigrant (who is hiding from her own past) is the hired person. Megumi had a brother who suffered from the same condition. Because of the circumstances, Megumi and Thomas end up falling in love because they reveal so much of their selves and past while healing. It's a love triangle that actually ends well. Interesting story idea.

I'm adding an addendum in that it is now 2023 and I still remember the story. It had some hang power. Hence I gave it more stars...

[Evie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Knowing that I am going to be separated from my physical library for a long time has thrown me into a reading frenzy. It's like Sophie's Choice around my house lately. Which books to read (or save) before I say my goodbyes? I don't know if you're guilty of this too, but I mostly hold off on reading books that I know I will love and cherish, and instead read ones that I know I'll just "like". It's like saving the best pieces of a chocolate box until the very end; reading okay books seems to make the real treasures that much more tastier. Am I weird? Am I wrong? Tell me I'm nuts.

Well believe me when I tell you that Hikikomori and the Rental Sister was like a frakkin' chocolate truffle! I'm going to say upfront that it's not a book for everyone, but in my case it was so beautiful and even spiritual! It was odd and unique, but also elegant in light of the Japanese influences related to the story and characters.

Hikikomori is a Japanese word used to describe a person who withdraws from the world and into themselves. Usually some kind of trauma known only to the the person causes this phenomena. Thomas and his wife Silke have experienced a tragic event in their lives, causing Thomas to retreat into his bedroom and never leave it. As a final measure, Silke seeks out a Japanese "rental sister" to lure her husband back into the world. What follows is a unique friendship and understanding between Thomas and Megumi, his hired "rental sister." Reluctantly thrown together, the two soon learn that they haven't fully grieved or accepted their losses.

I stayed up all night and finished this book. I value my sleep, so that means this was pretty darn close to perfection. Who the heck are you, Jeff Backhaus? Where did you come from, and why does the back leaf of your book only include three sentences? Most importantly, what are you working on now? Geez! I need to get it together. I just may be going a little off the deep end here.

[Nafiza · Rating 1 out of 5]

The concept sounds cool, yea? I’ve been interested in Hikikomori for a while now after I watched a Japanese movie that featured one as a character (I actually watched the movie mainly for Aoi Yuu) but anyway. They are interesting and sad – what provokes a person to withdraw completely from society? I thought I’d get something interesting, something substantial – a philosophical meandering of sorts that I would enjoy. Perhaps in the same tone as a Murakami book. Something that tried to look beyond the surface.

But no.

This book is more like a middle aged man’s sexual fantasy. I wish I was joking. I really do. All the women in this novel were defined by their use to the men. By their physical selves and oh, they were objectified. Megumi is actually defined by men in totality. Her father, her brother, Thomas, the various men she hooks up with in bars – they all define her. She doesn’t spend any time with herself, existing as an individual. No, she’s always seeking or giving sexual gratification. Oh, and she is very much orientalized. She is even the victim of a sexual assault and no one thinks to call the police. The oriental woman. In the descriptions of her physical self and how she makes Thomas feel. And once she has been used up, she is abandoned so good old Thomas (with the appropriate waffling prior) can return to Silke who, once again, only exists inasmuch as she is of use to Thomas. She cooks, cleans and waits for him. She cries for him.

Okay, let’s move on to Thomas. If I was supposed to feel sorry for the man, then it didn’t happen. If anything I was vastly irritated with him. I understand his kid died – but not as tragically as I had thought. If he had intimately been involved in the murder of the kid, if the kid had been murdered, yes I know it sounds callous but people die every day. Grief is different from a withdrawal of society. He didn’t withdraw from society because he was sick of society, he ran and hid because he felt guilty. If I were a hikikomori, I’d feel rather pissed at this American trying to emulate my behavior. I’m just saying that there are levels of complexity and layers of emotions that is entirely missing in this novel.

Yeah. I did not like this book at all. I did not like the way it portrayed people who legitimately revile society for reasons this book doesn’t fathom as evidenced by its portrayal of Thomas. And I hated the way women were objectified and treated. Ughhhh. I wish I could scrub my eyes or something.

[Bandit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Abbreviated from its original name to omit Hikikomori, the word and lifestyle unfamiliar to many, but of a real presence in its native Japan. Hikikomori are shut ins, those who no longer wish to be part of the world. It's a fascinating thing psychologically and there isn't much about it in fiction, so I was glad to find this book. I even thought I might like it, but I didn't expect to like it quite so much. It's a quiet work of sheer beauty, mesmerizing narrative with profoundly flawed protagonists struggling to find their way. After a traumatic experience, the main character, Thomas, retreats emotionally and spatially, when we meet him, he hasn't left his self chosen confinement in three years, at which point his spectacularly patient wife decides quite radically to hire him a rental sister. Japanese solution for a Japanese problem. The idea is to shake up the intolerable status quo, but human beings and their feelings being what they are, soon the characters find themselves entangled in a web of emotional complexity that changes the course of their lives. It's a fairly generic description and certainly, much like this review itself, doesn't quite do the novel justice. But what a debut, such confident, lovely writing, such well compose engaging characters, such thought provoking moving story about grief, sadness, love, forgiveness, redemption, all the primary colors of the human palette, all the makings of great literature. Very enjoyable read. Highly recommended.

[Deborah Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am in literary heaven lately. I have had the joy of reading such transcendent books that they all deserve the highest accolades, and this one is no exception.

Hikikomori is the name in Japan for a person who retreats from the world after a tragedy. In this case, Thomas and his wife live in New York and lost their young son in an instant to what was considered an unavoidable accident, but Thomas blames himself and has stayed cloistered in his small room for three years. His wife, Silke, has tried everything to entice him out - entreaties, tempting him with little things that embody their life on the other side of the door, and finally raging against him and unable to go on. In her desperation, she hires a "rental sister", as it is known in Japan, a strange phenomenon, completely without an equivalent in the U.S. Megumi, a young Japanese Korean has some familiarity with Thomas' condition through her own experience with her brother. In her brother's case, it ended in tragedy, and Megumi begins her role with Thomas as initially a reluctant participant.

What unfolds is a fascinating, slow dance between three people - Thomas, Megumi and Silke - all damaged in their own ways and all trying to find their way back to something that approximates normal. A fabulous, moving, unique book. I kept looking at the author's bio - cook, art director, professional pilot - wondering how on earth did this enormous talent and such nuanced 'knowing' come from these professions.

[rachel]

Abandoning this one around page 50. It comes with a heavy heart.

I'm extremely fascinated by the ideas of, as the jacket flap says, the "risk of intimacy" and "whether another woman can bring a husband back to his wife." I've been emotionally cheated on, been the unwitting other woman in a monogamous relationship (more than once, thank you internet), been the third party in an non-monogamous relationship, been invited to be a part of a menage a trois with a couple I am friends with (I declined but we are still friends).

All of these situations carry different implications about intimacy and how we seek it and why, and being a part of all of these experiences has led me to much internal reflection. This is the new (old) intimacy. Being a person who finds it hard to even have a conversation with more than one other human being at a time, it fascinates me that for many these entanglements are the norm.

So, although the subject matter clearly fascinates me, the problem I'm having is that this book is foremost about a marital disconnect caused by grief. One of my personal preferences is that I find prosy writing about depression to be tedious and inert and that is the case here. It's a short book, but it's overwritten and sentimental for my tastes.

(If anyone has recommendations for me based on what I've said above, though, I'd LOVE to hear it.)

[Leo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Couldn't see the deeper meaning of this book. Its just seemed to me to be a vaile man's fantasy. A depressed man who lived the last few years locked up in a room cheats with his wife with the Rental Sister his wife just hired. Didn't like the way wrote the characters and the whole story seemed of for me. Not my thing.

[Sonja · Rating 1 out of 5]

You just see 'ultimate male fantasy' fulfilled in this Haruki Murakami-esque --only superficially, though--tale, and why people liked it, if they did. This remotely reminded me of another half-done and shallow work that came out a decade or so ago--Jiro Adachi's YA (--ish) novel--The Island of Bycicle.. something.. I can't even remember the title exactly. Still I clearly remember that the novel also made me barf for its male fantasy imposed upon the same kind of cardboard cutout Asian female tourist characters and the outsourced dirty work sadly those women had to take for their having fewer options. I bet these authors had the time of their lives. I should also note that the protagonist in Bicycle something was also set as Half Korean and she was having her identity crisis over the subject as not fully human not because of this treatment she got from White male supremacist but because she was half Korean and half Japanese. Like these authors going crazy over this rudimentary level of discovery of their ethnic shuffle--with no serious data and research on the subject matter FYI-- while it is just the easiest solution for novel ideas.

Come to think of it, Jiro Adachi's biggest inspiration was blossomed by his being an ESL instructor in NY and interaction with semi-lingual (non lingual?) Asian women, who were almost unconditionally subjugated to him. He was the typical case of men who discovered his niche harem once he contacted the others: Asian, women, who can't talk back to them. I bet he certainly had a blast. But I also remember Island of.. for the simple fact that the novel was poorly done.

So was this by Backhaus.

Now I establish the theory; for men from the US, immersion to Asian females who endlessly are subjugated to them triggered the male fantasy explosion, out of control.

For shuttering down (hikkikomori), the remedy is not to tend the case and promptly kick the kind out of the entire household once observed. Supporting him would only indulge his illness and the case gets worsened over the course of time. The biggest mistake of the novel is to portray if the culture caters to a man as the protagonist. Sorry to disillusion you guys but the mechanism is no different from alcoholics and/or drug addicts; they have to be left alone and think for themselves. And earn. Or go homeless to meditate til their hearts content.

Yet why did the author think it would pass without much criticism when the novel heavily relies upon the particularly racist/sexist attitude toward Asian and women had it not been for his own racist and sexist view?

I could not care less, after all. What the hell is the wife's name by the way? Silke? Too much porn the author watched, I bet.

[Camie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hikikomori means closing oneself off from the outside world in Japanese. Thomas Tessler has locked himself away in his room after the tragic death of his young son while under his care. This almost total isolation ( except for midnight mini -mart excursions) goes on for almost three years , as his wife Silke apparently goes on about her life in the rest of the house. Finally in total desperation , Silke makes one last attempt to salvage their marriage by hiring a "rental sister" Megumi. Megumi, is a young Japanese immigrant who has been through a similar situation with a family member so thus might prove helpful ( or not !!! ) This book was an Indie Next pick and an Amazon Book of the month. I like my space sometimes , so I thought it sounded interesting. It is actually a beautifully written and thought provoking book, but or should I say BUT: the thought of someone's wife sending a young courtesan to roust her husband from his room , really ??? in this century. Obviously written by a man who thinks a wife would actually take another woman' s shoes left by the front door and then place them in front of her husband's bedroom door in the morning. It's in there , seriously ? I would read this author again , but hope he figures out something to write about that doesn't make most wives cringe. 2 1/2 stars.

[Anita Lynch-Cooper · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title has been shortened to The Rental Sister. Look up Hikikomori for more info.

Thomas retreats to his room after his son darts out into the street and is killed while Thomas is trying to see the cardinal he hears. He blames himself for his son's death and assumes his wife does too. He locks himself in a bedroom, only sneaking out at night to buy food at a convenience store. His wife tries to get him to talk to her, cooking, crying, bringing other men home but to no avail. She finally brings in Megumi to act as a rental sister, a kind of counseler to get him out of the room.

The first two thirds were good, then it kind of went into older white guys Asian girl fantasy.

[Kurt · Rating 3 out of 5]

The bones of the story. Thomas blames himself for the accidental death of his young son, then locks himself away for 3 years in his bedroom. His beautiful wife, Silke, is forced to carry on without him, daily, nightly, begging and pleading for him to rejoin her in their life – albeit a childless existence now, irreparably wounded. After 3 years of this inadvertent, emotional abuse, Silke hires Megumi, a young, Japanese immigrant, to act as “Rental Sister,” a surrogate of sorts, in order to coax her husband from his self-imposed exile in the spare bedroom of their apartment. The Japanese term for those swallowed up by this extreme form of self-absorption is Hikikomori. Megumi, we learn, is chosen to play the role of Rental Sister because her brother had once locked himself away, as well. But with a more tragic result.

And yes, of course, Thomas slowly falls in love with his “pretty pest,” because literature loves its triangles, while Silke, less than oblivious to their delicately erotic affair, continues to implore him to emerge from his cocoon, forgive himself, so they may at least resemble a happily married couple again.

Jeff Backhaus' Hikikomori and the Rental Sister was a 4 and a half star novel for 18 and a half of its 26 chapters. The subtle, Japanese nuanced pathos of an amazingly original American story, the gentle, fluid prose of the first 2 thirds of this back and forth narrative were testaments to the author's talent, as well as his empathy. One feels through his writing, after living and working in Korea, Backhaus had obviously immersed himself in the understated elegance of Eastern literature and culture.

Then, swiftly, ridiculously, this wonderfully bittersweet and triangular love story went literally pyrotechnic – the way so many American screenplays do – eventually devolving into an embarrassment of Western sentimentality. All the graceful heartache and open-ended resonance swept away, until all that remained of my hopes for the book were 3 unremarkable stars.

[Heather Fineisen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have not read Hikikomori and the Rental Sister before. Anywhere. Jeff Backhaus has written something I haven't read before. Not just because this is his debut. Backhauus has created something fresh and relevant through his story of a man who has become a hikikomori after the death of his young son. As defined from wired.com, "Hikikomori literally means “withdrawal” in Japanese and is used both as a noun and as an adjective. Though there are differing opinions as to the precise nature of hikikomori, Japan’s Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare uses the following definition:

1. The person does not take part in society and is shut in his or her home for at least six months.
2. The person does not have any intimate relationships other than with family members.
3. The withdrawal is not a symptom of “other psychotic disorders.”
4. Social withdrawal: not taking part in social activities, school or work"

His wife hires a "Rental Sister", a young woman to bring him out of his shell, his room, his hopelessness. And with a mere three characters, Backhaus manages to sustain a story that I am still pondering, rehearsing on the stage in my head.

We have a fight or flight response and each of the characters, the husband, the wife and the sister represents a different place in that cycle through their choices and actions. Or do they? Backhaus manges to create some cringe worthy moments of human behavior and response while maintaining a balance of compassion and understanding. As I am neither Hikikomori, Rental Sister, or partner of such, Backhaus has evoked in me that I could be any or all three.

Other than one scene regarding the next door neighbor that seems forced but adds to the Rental Sister's vulnerability, this writing is seamless. And I am so glad that I had not read it before.

I received this copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hikikomori and the Rental Sister tells the story of a man named Thomas who has holed himself in his bedroom for 3 years. The Japanese term "hikikomori" means "pulling inward, confined", and it says on the back of the book that it's a Japanese phenomenon. His wife, Silke, hires a "rental sister" named Megumi, who's job is basically to help that the isolated person out of their room.

I bought this book off of a library sale cart, and I was so excited to read it. I'd never heard specifically of the term hikikomori, but it really intrigued me. And the idea to hire someone to help coax them out of their room...? It kinda reminded me of a therapist, but one that would come to them, so I was curious what the differences would be between a rental sister and a therapist.

...well, as you can see... the book was DEF a miss for me. It was just plain boring. I'm so sorry to say, but the author took an extremely intriguing concept, that not much is written on, and totally flopped with it! The story doesn't even make ANY sense! I had zero sympathy for ANY of the characters... and it doesn't even take a lot for me to have sympathy for characters usually lol! They just all annoyed the shit out of me. And honestly, Thomas treated his wife like shit, and I just could barely even stand to keep reading. I was so ready for it to end.

The only reason I'm able to give it two stars instead of one, is because the book somewhat had me interested in the beginning. The author did a somewhat good job at drawing the reader in the first few chapters so you think the book might have some hope, but the book honestly just gets gradually worse, and I would not recommend this book to absolutely anyone. I will be researching more on hikikomori and rental sisters, but I will not be getting ANNNNYYY of my information from this book. *face palm*

[aoibheann · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the first half but the longer it went on the more grating the story and writing became… The author is clearly a white guy writing about Japan based on what he read online, clearly someone who doesn’t really understand trauma based societal withdrawal, clearly thinks about women predominantly in relation to sex. Corny boots‼️ Flat characters, the most compelling being Megumi, who is made go through racist harassment, physical and sexual assault, and given a weird past as a sex worker, all for seemingly no actual reason!!

[Afaf Finan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully written story about loss and love.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me a while to get into. The last quarter of the book bumped up my rating. I really wanted to give it 3.5 but have yet to figure out if I can give half star ratings. I have to meditate on how I feel about a white man writing from the perspective of an Asian woman and the dynamic between her and the main character.

[cryptid jade · Rating 3 out of 5]

read convenience store women and wrote an essay on shiraha and now im here.. i kinda really liked this, read it in ine sitting so i think that says something about it!!

[Jenna (Falling Letters) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally posted 11 May 2014 on Falling Letters.

***

Wavering between 3 and 4 stars, I'm giving this one the benefit of the doubt as it has enough prominent 1-star reviews.

I added Hikikomori and the Rental Sister to my TBR list after stumbling across the book at the library. I can't recall why I initially added it, but I picked it up this month expecting a darkly humorous tale. The story's immediate poignancy prompted me to reread the back description - I wonder how I ever expected a black comedy!

Yet she stays, yet she comes down the hall, yet she believes in me. She thinks I'm the same man she married. And maybe I am, and maybe that's the problem, that I always have been this man and always will be. (14)

Thomas, an American hikikomori, has been living in his bedroom for three years, a behavior prompted by the death of his son. Silke, Thomas' wife, hires a young Japanese woman, Megumi, as a last resort to bring Thomas out of his hikikomori state. Megumi has experience with hikikomori, as her younger brother was one. The narration alternates between Megumi and Thomas, with Megumi's narration being in third person and Thomas' in first person. The hikikomori concept does not function merely as a gimmick. Backhaus uses the condition to explore the more universal conditions of love and grief. The book focuses on the relationships between Thomas, Silke and Megumi, and how those relationships are shaped by their experiences with grief and their love (or lack of love) for one another. I enjoy books in which character relationships really carry the story. I also like Backhaus' prose - clean, succinct, certainly contemporary but not too stylized. Some compare him to Murakami or Ishiguro, I would say Backhaus falls between the two. He infuses both the plot and the prose with melancholic sadness, but that sadness does not engulf in the story. The characters find healing in their own ways.

I did not come inside one day, shut the door, and never decide to come out. I needed a day to grieve. Then a week. A month. Tired, I took a nap. When I woke it was dark. The walls were high. There was no way out. (34)

I particularly like that Megumi is a fully developed character, and that the reader learns as much about her as they do about Thomas. She helps Thomas and he helps her. She has her own motivations beyond Thomas. She's not just a device to swoop in and transform Thomas' life - or is she?

Please Note : The next paragraph discusses to what extent Megumi's character is problematic, thus necessitating spoilers. Skip to The Bottom Line to avoid.


Megumi does have as much of a story as Thomas does. The reader hears from her perspective, learns her back story and comes to understand her as a whole character, rather than merely a device in Thomas' story. However, if you look at her role in the book: she enters Thomas' life, quickly engages in a sexual relationship with him, thereby rescuing him from his hikikomori state, and then returns back to Japan, allowing Thomas to return to his old life. Although Backhaus develops Megumi's character, she still functions as a device to rescue to Thomas. When I first finished the book, I thought Megumi and Thomas' roles in each others lives were balanced, but now I find that harder to argue. Additionally, Megumi is a young, sexy, Japanese woman written by a white man. Such a character could easily go wrong, and I still think Megumi could have been written a lot worse than she was. But the nature of the plot still subjects her to some Orientalism, no matter how much I tried to explain it away to myself in an attempt to justify my liking of this book. The Japanese woman rescues the American man, due to her Japanese-ness. I liked Megumi. She felt like a real person to me. The story felt real to me, I believed it could happen. Yet by making Megumi the white man's saviour, Backhaus reduces her character to 'the Other', the fantasized woman from a land far away. If you've read the book, please share your thoughts on Megumi - this was a difficult paragraph for me to sort out and I'm sure my opinion of the book could benefit from mutual discussion.

The Bottom Line: Backhaus explores the relationships between love and grief in this quiet, flowing tale. The story stood out to me in its balance of perspectives and its contemporary prose, but Megumi's role in the story remains problematic. I would like to read more by this author - hopefully he grows in his portrayal of race.

[Wilma · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a really strange book. A man who feels he killed his son (he was run over by a car while the father watched) locks himself into his room for three years. His wife hires a rental sister who is supposed to get him to come out of the room and back to living.

The rental sister is Japanese/Korean and her brother in Japan had locked himself away after being beaten up at school because he is half Korean. This phenomenon is called hikikomori and is common in Japan.

The rental sister is hesitant to take on the task but after talking to the man she is entranced.

The book is odd but I liked the characters and the story line.

[Leigh Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh. Just...ugh.

I'm not quite sure what Backhaus was trying to do here, but it didn't work. I can live with the fact that none of these people are very likable. What bothers me is how much it reads like some guy's fantasy about what it would be like to have sex with a Japanese girl, with a flimsy plot thrown around it.

Thomas (pronounced To-MAAAHS, because of course it is) has been living in his bedroom for the past three years, much to the despair of his wife, Silke. Because apparently therapeutic interventions and/or involuntary commitment would've been too difficult, Silke decides to hire a Japanese woman named Megumi to try to convince Thomas to come out of his room. Megumi's credentials for this particular mission are that her brother was hikikomori--someone who wouldn't come out of his room, basically--and she cared for him and tried to get him to come out.

A flimsy house of cards at best, made flimsier because Thomas lets Megumi into his sanctuary after only three or four visits, and of course they almost immediately have sex. Their dialogue reads like bad fanfic, which has the effect of making the reader feel covered in a layer of slime (the often-repeated phrase "pretty little pest" does NOT help). Megumi doesn't seem like a real person at all: she has a backstory, of course, but it seems cursory, tacked on so we have something to read when we're not focused on Thomas (it includes prostitution and other sexual hijinks because of course it does). And of course she falls madly in love with Thomas and of course she starts planning their future together, only to be heartbroken when he goes back to Silke in the end.

And this is where things really get weird, because Silke is the ultimate WTF character. None of the novel is told from her pov, so everything she does just seems--if you'll pardon the expression--batshit crazy. When you find out what drove Thomas to hide in his room, it totally makes sense why they're both pretty much barking mad, but even so, Thomas's grief seems logical and sensible; because we never see Silke's thought processes, she just seems like a dangerous lunatic, somebody no sane person would WANT to be married to. And yet, even though Silke has cheated on Thomas a zillion times during his hiding period and ends up SETTING THEIR APARTMENT ON FIRE in a desperate attempt to get him to come out...he still goes back to her. It makes no sense.
Especially since he really loves Megumi, and we know this because he gives her a whole bunch of pictures of himself and a book that lists all the scars he's ever received (yes, really). This whole novel reads like a poorly written fantasy in which a man, beloved by two women, gets to have his exotic rice cake and eat crumpets, too.

The only reason I finished this was so I could document the train wreck and warn the rest of you. Decidedly NOT recommended.

[Chihoe Ho · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Hikikomori" is a social phenomenon where individuals acutely withdraw from society and lead a solitary life within the confines of their own home. It is recognized by the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare in definable terms, and has such a rippling effect on those connected to hikikomoris, and on the fabric of Japanese society, that there are professionals who work towards helping such recluses out of their isolation.

Jeff Backhaus writes of a hikikomori living in New York. Thomas has shut himself in his bedroom away from the world for 3 years, only venturing out in the cover of night once in a while to stock up on food. His wife, Silke, is almost at her breaking point - she's just as lost as Thomas is, and in addition, is desperate to get the man she loves back. She hires Megumi, an immigrant from Japan as a "rental sister" as a last-ditch attempt to help coax Thomas out of his room.

"Hikikomori and the Rental Sister" unfolds in three acts: The Isolation, The Contact, and The Aftermath. Each act reveals something more of Thomas, Megumi, and Silke, and the circumstances that they have found themselves in. The matters and progression of the story can be tough to take at parts but they are handled in a very delicate manner as to not overwhelm or understate their importance. The unpredictable narrative goes back and forth between a first-person voice of Thomas, to a third-person mode accounting mostly Megumi's side of the story. This alternation was jarring initially, but it became quite the smart way to juxtapose the inner thoughts of the hermit and the characters' dealings in the external world.

Backhaus, with his experience working in Korea, seems to have a respectable understanding of the Japanese and Korean culture and society, and puts it to good use in his forthright portrayals of them. Even though the novel is set in the western world, it invoked an eastern air, and for most of the novel, I kept having to remind myself that the story wasn't set in Asia but in North America. This made it reminiscent to Haruki Murakami's novels, where they are mostly set in Japan but have a western tone to them. I'm a fan of Murakami, so I took a liking to Backhaus' style as well, and with a topic being something I've never heard or read of till now, "Hikikomori and the Rental Sister" is refreshingly intriguing and is a remarkable debut from Jeff Backhaus.

[Gaele · Rating 4 out of 5]

Retreating in grief and hiding to lick your wounds is not an uncommon phenomenon, but when that retreat progresses to an unhealthy isolation and can last for years, who are you indulging, and who is indulging you in your retreat from life. Just one of the several questions brought forward on the reading of this book. First I needed to check several sources to get the best feeling for a very Japanese idea that does not always translate well. Hikkomori: the closing off of oneself from the outside world, denying interaction with others, hiding where it’s safe. Of course, to properly practice this retreat, one needs to have someone who is supportive, who wants to listen, and who patiently will ‘wait the phase out’. As Silke has reached the end of her patience and ideas to help heal, she brings in a woman who, with her newness and strangeness may be able to reach and heal Thomas, or relieve him of some of the heaviness.

In a lyrically written piece, the author is not asking us to understand Thomas’ retreat, nor is he asking for forgiveness, but simply stating what is, as It happened, in all the odd permutations of this triad so desperate for healing. Intensely personal in feeling, the grief and guilt that Thomas carries within are palpable, and in a strange way, beautiful in its richness and detail. The three all need some form of healing and forgiveness, perhaps mostly from themselves, but the depths to which Thomas has sunk in his isolation, and the guilt Silke feels for letting it progress to such a degree are not instantly solved, but slowly eroded in little bits. With a very interesting, and at times puzzling, juxtaposition of the dual cultural approaches presented, and the author’s facile handling of the story that never runs to overt pathos, this is a gripping read that is intense in both the story and the thoughts it leaves behind.

I received an eBook copy from Publisher through NetGalley. I was not compensated for this review, and all conclusions are my own responsibility.

[Beverly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a 3+ read for me.

Hikikomori and the Rental Sister paints a graceful portrait of individuals traumatized by grief and unhinged by guilt. Thomas Tessler was happy with his life until the death of his young son three years ago. Needing just one day to be alone with his grief turns into three years of living within himself behind the dead bolt of his room. Thomas is “hikikomori” – a Japanese phenomenon of complete social withdrawal by turning inwardly and isolating one’s self. Silke, Thomas’ wife, has been patiently waiting for Thomas to come out of his funk and will try one last attempt to salvage their relationship – the hiring of a “rental sister”, Megumi, to draw Thomas back to reality by any means necessary. Megumi, a young Japanese immigrant, is running from her own grief and guilt is not sure how much of a help she will be but will give it a try. But a desperate act by one causes a crisis propels the others to decision that was looming all along.
I will admit that Megumi’s story was the most engrossing and heartfelt for me. Her voice was rich, and poetic yet edgy. It was Megumi who had to bare soul for a job she did not want to do – but “the heart’s sorest spot is also its softest.”This debut novel is best enjoyed if you turn off your reality antennae and delve into the hauntingly intimate look at individuals stymied by innocent guilt. Rich characterization, quiet yet elegant phrasing showcases the author’s writing of an American story with Japanese sensibilities.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading lots of YA and kids stuff, which I love, it was not too bad to get into bed with a grown up book. This is an odd story. Really odd. Man loses young son and locks himself in the bedroom for 3 years. Odder yet is that his wife sticks around cooking dinner for herself and talking to him through the door. At times she's shouting, at times she's bringing home a tumble buddy to try and make him jealous enough to come out and fight for her. Apparantly, in Asian cultures, people with agorophobia are fairly common. Common enough that they have both a name (hikikomori) and a solution (rental sisters.) A rental sister is someone who will sit outside said door and talk to the shut-in until they emerge. So, for reasons I find too strange to explore, this man's wife hires a young, nubile Asian woman to sit outside and lure her husband out. Instead she makes her way in and they get it on. Now. If I still have your interest, bear with me. Backhaus' writing is flawless. Seriously beautiful stuff. There is a paragraph in which he describes the moment just before his son is hit by a car and all of the things that he did in that moment...and it is breathtaking. I kid you not. Really. The emotions that the wife experiences are so precise and so crushing that it blew my mind. I empathized with every character in this book. It's one of those times where you come out the other end of a story and realize that you lived through each person inside of it.
This is some good stuff. Now go read it.

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

A colleague rightly pointed out that this intriguing read is in the style of Murakami and Ishiguro: elegantly crafted prose that may still only have a limited audience. Thomas Tessler has, in response to a family tragedy, withdrawn into his room for three years. Through a local Japanese bakery, Thomas' wife comes to recognize his plight, apparently common in Japan, as requiring a particular response. She hires Megumi, a young Japanese woman grappling with her own emotional pain, to help her husband re-enter the world. This book is packed with themes of love, loss, healing, patience, and sacrifice. The plot, at times, seems a little forced (the main characters conveniently frequent the Japanese bakery whose employees recognize their problem) and there is a predictability to the story. The writing, however, avoids overwrought emotional scenes in its sparseness and simplicity, while the exploration of the cultural phenomenon at play keeps the reader's interest high. The book resembles an excellent festival stage play: a small number of characters deeply explored within a confined scene.

I'm on Twitter: @Dr_A_Taubman

[Doriana Bisegna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a hard time buying into this story. A man refuses to come out of his room due to a tragic incident that occurred in his life and his wife accepts this for three years. Not only does she accept this hermit for three years, she hires a beautiful, Japanese woman to try to lure him out of his room and become a husband again. What ensues is mind boggling, crazy, totally unbelievable and I just kept asking myself....who in their right mind would ever do that? If the story was set in Japan where this is practiced...fine but in New York City...two Americans...nah, I don't think so!! If you thought having a sexy young nanny was a problem can you imagine having a woman enter your husband's room and stay for hours behind closed doors...I mean come on!! Let's get real, here! TOTALLY LUDICROUS!!!

[Kaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hikikomon and the rental Sister explore a fascinating cultural phenomenon of hikikomori. Found to be unique to Japan, a million young people, mostly male, withdraw from the world. Most do not leave their rooms. Some will roam only at night. Many live in their bedrooms for years. Yet, this hikikomori is American, and he lives in New York City.

His wife elects to bring in a ‘rental sister’ seeking to help her husband using a traditional Japanese cure. Both women can see the sadness within Thomas. There is much that is good, much that he can no longer see.

The book is very well written and a pleasure to read with well developed and interesting characters. Thomas does not try to rationalize his behavior or seek forgiveness.

I found this book very interesting and enjoyed it very much.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was fascinating partly because it was so out of the realm of my experience, and partly because I thought it was very sensitively written. I found the main characters, Thomas and Megumi, full, rich and complexly wrought. (Silke, the long-suffering wife, not so much.)
I've heard of hikikomori, the Japanese phenonmenon, but it was a very abstract concept. Jeff Backhaus did a very good job of bringing it to life -- why someone like Thomas would/could retreat from the world. I suppose with the support of someone (Silke in Thomas's case, or Megumi's family in her brother's case, a person who so fully retreating the world would just leave, as total anonymity would have similar results).

[JMM · Rating 2 out of 5]

This novel is about social withdrawal (hikikomori is a Japanese term referring to those who choose extreme isolation). The hikikomori in this story is an American man who retreats to his room, only sneaking out late at night to buy food. His wife hires a “rental sister” – in Japan, these outreach counselors sometimes succeed in bringing the isolated one back into the world – and their relationship forms the backbone of the story. Though I found the premise interesting, I felt that the groundwork was not properly laid so that events and emotional developments seemed unlikely or even questionable. Ironically, I felt removed from the characters and story.

[Iejones · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this debut. The pathos of the principle character explored the fragility of the human heart and mind. While the person sought to help him needed as much help herself. Great story about the human heart and the scars acquired during life - how do wounds heal and how does one navigate guilt and shame?? Backhaus teases out an answer - I agree with his conclusion