Following Foo: The Electronic Adventures of the Chestnut Man

by B.D. Wong

Every now and then there comes along a literary voice so strong, so originally sincere, and so uniquely distinct that the words on the page seem to sing and to scream and to dance -- all at once and all on their own. Such is the wonderful writing debut of acclaimed actor B.D. Wong. With a remarkable mixture of upbeat optimism, unexpected hilarity, and heart-wrenching sadness, Wong takes the reader deep inside both his psyche and the neonatal intensive care unit where he spent the better part of three months following the harrowing medical twists and turns that took place after the premature birth of his twins."Once upon a time," as Wong explains in his true story, Following (the electronic adventures of the Chestnut Man) , "my partner and I found ourselves expecting, with the help of a surrogate mother, modern medical science, and lots of good luck and prayers. To add to our blessing, she was carrying twins! Things were pretty swell ... until the twins arrived almost three months early. For those of you who don't know, babies that come almost three months early are pretty little, and boy are they scary-looking. Especially when you're their dad ... " Originally based on a series of real-time E-mails sent to keep his friends and family abreast of the daily madness and miracles of "early" parenthood, this book is a gem, a joy, and an inspiration to anyone who has ever taken a ride on the roller coaster of life and tried to keep both sense of humor and sanity intact.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, LGBT, Parenting, Gay

400 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 2003

Reviews

[David Jay · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love B.D. Wong. I think he is a beautiful man and a wonderful actor. I saw him on the beach once and nearly fainted. I saw him in "M. Butterfly" on Broadway twice.

I felt the need to share all of that, so that maybe you will understand why I actually read this book until the last page in spite of the fact that it was probably the most boring book I've ever read.

B.D. Wong and his then partner, Richie Jackson, have a baby via surrogate. Complications ensue. Debating whether I will donate book to Salvation Army or simply throw it away.

[Asher · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was hoping to really enjoy this book, considering I like the author on Law and Order: SVU. Mostly I felt irritated by the funky, yet twee writing style. I did find his son's journey through the NICU compelling. I had to keep reading to make sure he was okay, even though I didn't particularly like the book itself. I felt like his writing style often tried for funny, but fell flat.

[Brenda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book because I love BD Wong. I kept reading it because I love BD Wong.

I will say it was boring, out of date a bit, and long for what it was.

1.5 stars .5 for BD Wong, 1 for the times it made me cry as the story is moving.

Anyway that’s not a very helpful review, but it’s honest.

[Douglas Lord · Rating 5 out of 5]

When twin sons are born prematurely to actor Wong (Law & Order: SVU) via a surrogate mother, he is swept up in the ensuing maelstrom, feeling “like Noah Wyle from ER when he hasn’t read the script.” The first twin dies, and the second begins his journey to eventual health like all preemies–one day at a time. Elaborating on “real-time” e-mails written to friends, Wong retells the events surrounding the birth and ensuing months. Personal and heartfelt, he jumps around a bit yet captures perfectly the simultaneous heartbreak and joy of many difficult, disorienting moments. The minute detail will make readers feel like a close friend getting the story over a pot of coffee, and Wong’s engaging tone and unerringly positive attitude compensate for touches of self-indulgence and rambling. Although Wong is a gay father, that is not the point of the narrative. Recommended for all parenting collections.

Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

It must be heartbreaking and scary to go through this period of B.D.Wong's life. Good thing he found a good way to express his emotions and the supports he got. Can't wait to read Jackson Foo Wing's other dad's book now.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I dig the hell out of this book, I feel like it's important for parents and those looking to become parents. It gives you an inside look at surrogacy and neonatal modern medicine and especially intensive care, which was very interesting, this is a world not a lot of people experience and it was very educational for me. The format of the book was emails passed back and forth, conversations, blog updates etc, all of it real correspondence and real raw emotions. I appreciate that Mr. Wong was willing to be so open and share these personal emotional moments with the rest of the world, the reader truly felt involved and connected. I cried at points and cheered at others. He was very brave to put such an intense time in his life out on the printed page like this.

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

BD and Richie (his partner) had a surrogate mother carrying a twin pregnancy for them, and she went into labor 11 weeks early; one twin died, and the rest of the book is about the struggles of the other twin in the NICU. BD was writing email updates to his family and friends, and those updates are the central kernel of this book. The early NICU parts made me cry - I have a friend who had a baby that early, and it's just awful and hard and scary. Overall, BD should learn to trust his material - he has a great story here, but he doesn't seem to believe that, and so he tries too hard. It ends up feeling rather gimmicky and overdone. (Plus, he feels compelled to include some of the glowing email responses he got to the original updates, and takes every opportunity there to name-drop.)

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

An account of the insanity of becoming a parent while your newborn is in the NICU for months due to prematurity. Having personally experienced having a child cling to life in an ICU (though not as a newborn), I can say this book reflects the terror, the love from others, and the otherworldliness of trying to function while your heart is outside your body, struggling to survive. Put together from e-mail and website postings to keep everyone updated (a process I also went through) you are taken through this journey as it unfolds.

[Sabrina Eads · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sorry, B.D. Wong, but this book could've been summed up in a teal dear and I would've been fine. I didn't really find myself gripped by this story, despite the engaging style it was told in. I'm sure that when the kid grows up enough to be interested in his origins, it will either fascinate, embarrass or both, at different times. Overall, I have to rate this a 1 as it took me the better part of 2 months to wade through.

[Bekah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book--though I wouldn't call it particularly well-written or memorable.

The bog takeaway message for me is that it doesn't matter if you are gay, or a celebrity, or a mom or a dad. When a parent faces a crisis, all those other parts of you are inconsequential, and all that matters is the raw guts of parenting.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story of two dads and their child(ren) being born too early and all the ups and downs in a NICU. Made me laugh many times and tear up plenty of times also. Love BD Wong as an actor on Law & Order, SVU and it was great to read a book by him and see more of him in it.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful, heartwarming story of two gay men and their baby (Foo), born very prematurely...written by BD Wong, who plays the psychiatrist on "Law and Order: SVU."

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartwrenching and heartwarming!

[Ajs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quirky, random and heartbreaking. Fun to read because it's a collection of emails, replies and a story. Loved it.

[Avid Reader and Geek Girl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great perspective, interesting story, sweet, but a little long

[Jay Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing journey!

[Mark Hand · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book held my attention. I couldn't wait for breaks at work to read more. I smiled, I cried, I loved it. I feel lucky to have an autographed copy from a signing in San Francisco. Thanks B.D.