****HERE THERE BE SPOILERS****
Do you like reading about monsters?
More specifically, do you like to read about monsters of the deep that have been thought dead for millions of years?
If you do, search no further -- Steve Alten's MEG will not disappoint.
From the epic beginning of a T-Rex getting its terrible-lizard ass handed to itself to the absurd gastronomic defeat of the Megalodon, this book keeps the action flowing at a constant rate throughout.
There is a really lame extramarital affair sub-plot, but in the end it works, I guess. Enough about that. To the real story.
Jonas Taylor, a deep-sea expert, ex-Navy submersible extraordinaire, and also the world's foremost expert on the extinct Megalodon, is called upon to inspect some sensors that have gone off the grid in the Mariana Trench. Problem is, he has already been to the Trench before; it wasn't a pleasant experience for him. During this previous exploration he freaked out, and it cost the lives of two coworkers. Because of this he is kinda considered a pariah in the deep-sea community. Now, the only place he really explores is the lecture circuit, where his theories of the ancient shark being alive are mocked and derided in glorious fashion.
If you're still with me, I'm sure your cheeseometer is probably going crazy. Well, you ain't heard nothing yet.
So he decides to help a billionaire (really, who else could afford to fix sensors in the deepest part of the ocean?) and go back down into the abyss in one submersible while the billionaire's son goes down in another. Needless to say, it doesn't work out so well for the son. And so begins a tale of revenge. But don't think MOBY DICK, folks. MEG is nowhere in that class.
Think JAWS, on steroids.
People begin dying left and right in some gruesome ways. I'll let you experience those for yourself. But I will say that if you like every scene of carnage to include the words: entrails, teeth, entrails some more, some more teeth, and, yes, entrails again, then you'll love how creative Alten is with his descriptions.
But the Meg does not only attack humans.
Whales and subs (yes, I said subs -- not the Jared kind, but the decommissioned WWII variety) are also its prey.
At one point I laughed so hard while reading a battle scene between Meg and sub that I snorted...then farted. Don't ask. I'm still trying to figure that one out myself.
But Alten does save the best for last.
STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING!!
When the final battle scene takes place, Jonas finds himself in the belly of the beast. Literally, folks. Alten tries to explain this in some pretty creative ways. None of them really make much sense, but, hey, it's his book. All Jonas can do is start hacking at the best with his knife. I'll let you read the book to find out the rest.
Like I said, cheese cheese cheese. But it's summer and this type of book is the perfect beach read.
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