Jump at the Sun

by Kim McLarin

After a series of stressful personal transitions, Grace Jefferson finds herself in a new house in a new city and in a new career for which she feels dangerously unsuited: a stay-at-home mom. An educated and accomplished modern woman, a child of the Civil Rights dream, she is caught between the only two models of mothering she has ever known—a sharecropping grandmother who abandoned her children to save herself and a mother who sacrificed all to save her kids—as she struggles to find a middle ground. But as the days pass and the pressures mount, Grace begins to catch herself in small acts of abandonment that she fears may foretell a future she is powerless to prevent . . . or perhaps secretly seeks. Jump at the Sun is a novel about an isolating suburban life and the continuing legacy of slavery, about generational change and the price of living the dream for which our parents fought. In her bold and fearless voice, Kim McLarin explores both the highs and lows of being a mother, and how breaking the cycle of suffocation and regret, while infuriatingly difficult, is absolutely necessary.

Genres: Fiction, African American, Female Authors, Contemporary, Novels

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[Stacey Peters · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a difficult book to admit to liking because of the subject matter. The author is not a good mother or wife and thus not real likeable, which was fine too. She is selfish, just this side of neglectful. Motherhood is supposed to be sacred, and what good mother would ever admit to understanding the feelings of the author, but I did. For 300 pages, the author agonizes about leaving her two daughters and husband. I kept saying to myself that the kids were spoiled, but that was partly her fault. The husband was not a perfect, but far from the hunchback of Notre Dame. Within the first 50 pages, I empathized with her, but what happened to active and open communication? She never says what would make her happy. Since the beginning of time women have had to abandon and delay dreams because they had no right to choose their path. The author was struggling due to her own mistaken steps. And now she could not see herself following through with her choices. I kept thinking she should leave, what was taking her so long? Could you raise happy, healthy children being so detached? Does she hurdle the sun or get fried like toast? The author is a very talented writer, I will definately read her again. The passages from the past were very, very good. The author ties in similar situations with her own mother and grandmother 'abandonment issues' and the imagery and descriptions of their lives reminded me of just how far weve come in race and female equality related issues. This book won't easily be forgotten.

[Dedra · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book in one day, partly to see how the character finally dealt with her dis-ease and conflicting feelings of obligation and partly to get the book done--I didn't want to have to read it a second day, if that makes sense. It's well-written and makes the right moves in the right places and though the reactions and behaviors of characters may be true-to-life, they feel...like shorthand in the book, one scene or a scene and a paragraph of narrator rumination set a character. I was never...surprised, except by a death late in the book that is fully explained, ignored health condition, guilts and sorrows, and the surprise was not a rocking of the fictional world and the effect on the character seemed forced to me. The blurbs call her a "brave" writer and though she does include some of the not-nice thoughts and things good mothers (non-abusive, -psychotic, etc. mothers) do, there is nothing ultimately revealed in a breathtaking or expanding way, either in the content or the prose. What rings with me after the book is that nothing does ring. For a light read, it needs to be shorter and tighter. For a heavier read, it needs less expectedness/predictability. The end is very well done and I think I liked the last 10 or so pages the most.

[Tori · Rating 2 out of 5]

I could not wait to get this book. I read the preview in People Magazine and was too excited to get my hands on it...only to be disappointed. I just kept wanted to insert myself into the story so that I could meet Grace and tell her to grow up already. It's not that I could not relate to her plight, but she just felt so damn whiney to me. Overall I found this read just "so-so."

[Maria · Rating 2 out of 5]

It wasn't a bad read; it was an interesting journey but I was disappointed by the ending. I needed more closure.

[Phyllis | Mocha Drop · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kim McLarin has penned a wonderfully introspective novel that examines the innermost thoughts of a young, BUPPIE woman facing the pressures of marriage, motherhood, and a stalled career in academia. Grace Jefferson is a highly educated, driven wife and mother of two toddlers who has recently moved to the Boston suburbs. In between jobs, she finds her life as a stay-at-home mom to be stifling and demanding. Loving her children but hating the demands and sacrifices of motherhood, she finds herself torn between the freedom and bravado embraced by her absentee grandmother, Royal Rae, and the security and comfort bestowed by her mother, Mattie Mae.

Through carefully laid flashbacks, the author paints a vivid picture of Royal Rae's impoverished beginnings as a Mississippi sharecropper and her thirst for the lush life that causes her to leave her children in the care of "Aunt" Eba as she gallivants from town to town and man to man. Mattie Mae, Royal Rae's oldest child, seemingly suffers the deepest from her wayward mother's abandonment and strives to earn her mother's love and attention for the rest of her life. Vowing not to be like her mother, Mattie Mae sacrifices love, education, career, and ultimately her life for her own children only to smother them with laments of martyrdom. The parenting techniques of these two very different women leave Grace in emotional turmoil filled with anxiety and confusion. She searches to find a balance amid plots of escape from marriage and motherhood. Leaning on her background in psychology, her latest attempt to cope is to find her long lost free-spirited grandmother, Royal Rae, to get some answers to long avoided questions and closure on hidden family secrets.

Amid the backdrop of the eras they were born, McLarin uses these three women to illustrate how the social constraints (gender, race, economics, education, etc.) and psychological stresses could affect their offspring and the subsequent generations that follow. She obviously has done her homework because she layers complex factors such as the effects of slavery, labor laws, civil rights, segregation, legalization of abortion, birth control, etc. along with apt sociological observations and pertinent psychological theories to weave a compelling and timely novel. Her writing and characters are intelligent, poignant, and real; their emotions are raw and believable. This is a mature and moving work of literary fiction. I loved this book and look forward to the author's next release! Well done!

[Ericka · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has grown into one that I love since reading it. I changed it from 3 stars to 5. I knew I'd been in a terrible mood during the time I was reading it, but now I completely blame that;-)
This book demands that we turn what we know about the lives & histories of Black women in America into something more than what we are proud to know. It asks us to have compassion for a woman whose self-knowledge and emotional world are limited by that history, even as she invested much of her life in resisting and overcoming the material and intellectual limitations of historical, systemic racism. This book makes demands and I'm loving that.

** Original review
The book is fine. I listened to audiobook, the reader is ok, but I do feel like her reading negatively influenced the reading experience. The baby voice she gives children is nerve jangling.

My feelings about the book might be me and the mood I’m in. Even when I identified with her, which was often, I just didn’t care. I felt like I’ve read this book dozens of times before and personally I didn’t need to read it again.

An upper middle class stay-at-home mom married to a blandly shitty man who tries to force a pregnancy on her, pushing her to a breaking point on a number of issues that had been bubbling beneath the surface. Two small kids. Drained & miserable, but feeling guilty for it because her life is secure, the protagonist is an African American woman who batters herself emotionally in the way women are taught: didn’t women in previous generations have more difficult lives, so why are you so sad? Like a washing machine makes up for a life where your own husband doesn’t think you’re a person.

This is also a book about how long it can take to heal and become a person of average mental health after the generational trauma of slavery, Jim Crow, and contemporary racism. It explores how economic security is a foundation for personal and community recovery, not a substitute.

I think I would have liked the book a lot more, if I'd not been listening to it, because it explores so much.

[Bridgit Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though I am not a mother as of yet, Grace reminded me so much of my self, especially from the perspective of having a mother that gives and sacrifices her life and dreams. I tend not to want to connect my mother's sacrifices to abandonment issues that she suffered as a child, but this book made me look real hard at the issue and its affects on even me. I never thought to link abandonment to the legacy of slavery and the legacy of slavery to "cheerful" giving. it is about time we had some books that show the intergenerational links between why we give and why we do not. It also paints a very familiar picture of what it means to be a middle class black woman at the dawn of the 21st Century. I'm so glad the author took the time to try to explain it because trying to track how I came from slaves to where I am today is a bit overwhelming. It's gratifying to see someone present an honest portrayal of what you know as truth. I'm so glad to know that i'm not the only one walking around with a story about a great-great grandmother who braved the world as a slave. I was beginning to think that the old folks were pulling my leg. How could they have possibly known their grandmother who was born a slave? It was so long ago! But the truth of the matter is that our success as black women is built on nothing less than our great grands and grandmothers who came before us. I was so happy when Grace found her grandmother and I loved how the author timed it all so perfectly. My favorite part in the book was when Grace was preparing to leave the man, and the kids all behind. God has an interesting way of revealing himself when we make up our minds and do what our spirits tell us to do.

[Connie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written book which explores life, station, circumstances and choices. The characters are all black, but I feel that this story could fit for anyone of any race or creed. It is a story of selfishness, confusion, anger and fear. I hazard to say though that any woman who has kids has at some time in her life felt the same feelings of these characters whether they want to admit it to themselves or not. This one is a keeper for me.

[Kaylin Ruth Vandermissen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book tackled a topic which is taboo in most circles. It often seems that women are expected to become mothers and to enjoy the act of motherhood. The varying perspectives in this book portrayed three women whose own experiences with being mothers left them unhappy for completely different reasons. The pendulum swings from abandonment to overprotectiveness and back again. In the end though, despite the extreme contrast in their actions and outlooks, all three women were facing the same toxicity. This book questions what it is to be a mother and defies the myth of the suburban dream.

There are far too many questions this book brings up than can be answered in only 300 pages. I was left unsure by the conclusion, wondering as Grace does if the pendulum can be stopped “dead in its tracks.”

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed how this book explored motherhood from various perspectives/generations. I found myself empathetic to the main character as she struggled with her feelings toward the life she was living. I know without a doubt in my mind that I would have had many of the same feelings if I’d had children (which is one of many reasons why I do not haha). This story was beautifully written and made me take a deeper look within.

[Corrinn Cobb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome. Gobbled it up over the weekend. Was rooting for each generation of woman, even when I didn't agree. McLarin is an awesome writer whose style is engaging but not pedantic or preachy. Thoroughly enjoyed.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars, amazing until the end, then pace changed abrubtly.

[Nichelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that touches me or makes me think about my life always gets five starts..

[Valarie Hernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ehhhhh

A good read but didn’t like the ending. I guess it wants you to come up with your own ending. Hopefully she goes back home.

[Kristina]

I am not rating this book (which I would give a three) because I don't want to affect the overall rating, since I suspect some people are giving it a low rating because they don't like the idea of a woman talking about not enjoying motherhood. This is not why I did not love this novel. I think, actually, that most mothers are probably annoyed with their children, lose their temper, feel overwhelmed, and fantasize about leaving. Even those who do not do the latter certainly long for days or even just hours to themselves and feel unencumbered when they are able to go somewhere without them. Every working mother I've ever known feels at least a little bit of relief going to work and having someone else watch the kids for a while. None of this seems unusual or groundbreaking. Maybe it's just because I never had children, but the downsides to it seem really obvious to me, and every mother I've ever known had complained about being a parent at some point. So the fact that this book, in stating these feelings outright, is considered "brave" says perhaps more about our society and its attitude toward women and mothers than it does about the author or anything else. It's not like the protagonist ever did anything to her kids; in fact, all she is seen doing (other than, ok, yelling at one of the kids once and grabbing her too tight) is taking care of them: rushing them to the doctor when they have a fever, playing with them, feeding them, caring for them, holding them when they get upset.

So this is my problem with the book: I never for one little minute believed this woman would ever leave her kids. It seemed so obvious she was not going to, yet we are supposed to believe this is the main conflict? Will she or won't she leave her children behind? It just never seemed like a real question. And thus, it was so incredibly obvious from the beginning that the book was going to be an exercise in rehabilitating motherhood for this woman. Which might be ok, if they didn't try to pretend that her leaving was a real possibility. The book never once surprised me.

Maybe another reason why I was unconvinced by the book is that it's not like Grace's grandmother (who provides that precedent for leaving) had some type of enviable life, or was free in any real sense of the word. Another reason is that it didn't seem like Grace was giving up some kind of amazing career for these kids. Her lack of employment seemed temporary, and plus, she didn't seem to like academia -- so... what was she missing out on? Other than the very understandable desire to get out of the house?

Her husband was a dick, though. He sort of bullied her into having children, and then and tried to convince her to have more kids even after she said two was the limit. And was mad at her for using contraception. Why? So he could have a son? Great reason. Especially when you're not the one who has to stay home and take care of them, buddy. If the book was about leaving *him,* I would totally believe it.

What I did like about the book was the switching perspectives, and the commentary on how race complicates motherhood for Grace and her mother and grandmother. Overall, I did like the book, I was just annoyed that the main stakes felt like a straw-man plot.

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

(FROM JACKET)Grace Jefferson is an educated and accomplished modern woman, a child of the Civil Rights dream, and she knows it well. But after a series of rattling personal transistions, she finds herself in a new house in a new city and in a new career for which she feels dangerously unsuited: a stay-at-home mom. Caught between the only two models of mothering she has ever known-a sharecropping grandmother who abandoned her children to save herself and a mother who sacrificed all to save her kids-Grace struggles to embrace her new role, hoping to find a middle ground. But as the days pass and the pressures mount, Grace begins to catch herself in small acts of abandonment-speeding up on neighborhood walks, closing doors with the children on one side and her on the other-that she fears may foretell a future she is powerless to prevent. Or perhaps it's a future she secretly seeks.

"Jump at the Sun" is a novel about an isolating suburban life and the continuing legacy of slavery, about generational change and the price of living the dream for which our parents fought. Primarily it is a novel about motherhood, and not a sentimental one. As Grace struggles not to damage her children with her own fears and complications, her thoughts stray far from the greeting-card picture often expected of mothers in society today. In her bold and fearless voice McLarin explores both the highs and the lows of being a mother and how breaking the circle of suffocation and regret is infuriatingly difficult, and absolutely necessary

*Other than a few editorial oversights(one of my BIGGEST pet peeves): i.e. page 189 "just deserts" vs "just desserts" it was an enjoyable read. I could empathize with Grace's struggle

[Betsy Ashton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bold writers tackle difficult topics; brave writers tackle taboo topics. Kim McLarin is a brave writer.

Too many writers today delve into the darker sides of human nature, fascinated by what goes on in the mind of a serial killer, a run-of-the-mill murderer, a pedophile, without giving the reader a sense that the writer actually has been there. McLarin gives the impression that she or her close family and friends have been where she is.

A black female author who writes in this book about black women who break one of the most enduring stereotypes, that of mother, challenges readers to rethink those same stereotypes.

Grace Jefferson is the latest in a line of black women in one family who go back to slavery. She struggles with a lack of motherly feelings about her children. In searching to understand why she is not fulfilled with motherhood, she revisits other women in her family. Her grandmother left the share cropper farm where they lived after the end of the Civil War, left her daughter, followed a local man to the big city where life was supposed to be better. The man returned to the country; the woman stayed. Years later, the woman sends for her oldest daughter to help with new babies she's had since leaving.

The daughter in turn doesn't display a deep sense of maternal feelings when her own children come along. And Grace, with her PhD and an upwardly middle class lifestyle, isn't satisfied. Grace seeks answers from her mother and grandmother, only to realize she is the only one who can resolve her feeling about her children.

Powerful, rich in language, dangerous in daring to challenge stereotypes, this literary novel begs to be enjoyed slowly, savoring each page, each paragraph. You won't be disappointed.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s something about reading a book by someone you see on a regular basis—something that makes the book somehow more personal, more complex, more relevant to your own daily life than it would be had it been written by a complete stranger. This is how I felt, at least, when reading Jump at the Sun, the newest novel by Emerson Writer-in-Residence Kim McLarin. With each page, heroine Grace Jefferson’s story seemed entwined with my own.

Except that Grace Jefferson is an affluent, married, African-American mother of two—demographics I know nothing about. Also, though McLarin is a familiar face around Emerson, I have never had her as a professor or really even spoken to her. So why was reading this book such a personal experience? McLarin’s writing is so visceral and her characters so real that we, as readers, are drawn inside the book.

Jump at the Sun tells Grace’s story from her own point of view, with flashbacks woven in throughout telling the stories of her grandmother and mother. As this triumvirate of narratives unfolds, McLarin deftly explores questions of race, marriage, class, and motherhood—questions that span geography and generations.

Though Grace Jefferson is blessed with a beautiful home, healthy children, and a loving husband, she feels like an impostor in her own life. Confronted with her feelings of regret and doubt, she must try to find a happy medium between the two models of motherhood in her life—her mother’s nearly self-destructive degree of devotion to her children and her grandmother’s tendency to cut and run. Grace’s search for answers culminates in a breath-taking climax you won’t soon forget.

[Valerie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am so surprised with the rating this book received.

This was by far one of the worst books I have ever read or should I say listened to since I had the book on CD.

This book was a combination of thoughts, whining, complaining, and stuff. For the first several chapters the story’s main character whined about her life. The things she complained about were so stupid and insignificant that it was actually irritating to listen to. The only parts of the story that held any interest for me was the discussion about her grandmother.

I will give the author credit for having done a really good job of character development. The development was so good on most of the characters that you really felt you knew them. Of course this character development was only on the characters surrounding her grandmother.

The book was filled with cliques and predictable responses. I got the impression this was a well educated author and she tried to let everyone know with the way she threw in comments here and there. It was just plain stupid. I typically keep a list of the books I have read and note whether I would recommend the book to anyone else. Can you guess what my recommendation will be for this book? Such a disappointment.

[Demetria Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

One word for this book. Phenomenal! The topic was raw and in your face. The characters were layered, flawed, and remarkably textured with full-bodied flavor. I loved every minute I spent buried in it. The lead character, Grace, has found herself in a new career for which she feels dangerously unsuited: a stay-at-home-mom. It was this one sentence I read inside the book's jacket that hooked me immediately. I knew who Grace was before I even opened the book. I can relate to this story on so many levels. This is a great read and I recommend it to everyone. This is my first time reading work by this author. I stumbled upon the book while browsing the shelves of Barnes & Noble and I'm so glad I did. Kim McLarin is now on my list of favorite authors and I'm on the hunt for all of her books. Phenomenal!

[Jamaie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was great from the first page. I highly recommend it. It is about an african-american woman who consistantly downs herself even though she is a very intelligent, well-schooled woman & is married to a successful man. It's as if she believes she isn't worthy of the successes she has in life. I can't wait to see how it ends. Every page is told from her point of view & is just excellent. It's like I know her now & want to know what happens next. I have now finished the book. Nonetheless, it basically ends with 3 generations coming together for forgiveness. It's beautiful.

[M. Korte · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book group at a public library in Harlem loved this book. The writing was fresh. The story was an interwoven history of three generations of African-American women from the same family. It focused on Grace and but described how they dealt with, and were dealing with their circumstances and desires. Love and freedom the absence of both and the desire of both are the themes, though there's a lot of different ideas and pieces of information. The author was controlled and stayed on theme the entire time.

[Desiree · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this book on my commute to/from work and around town. Good book. This novel tells the story of mother who was once a Sociology Professor and now stays at home with her children. Through her character, you learn the trials and joys of stay at home mothers. The author also includes stories of the character's mother and grandmother and at the end of the book, connects all of their lives and you see that indeed, history does tend to repeat itself.

Overall: good novel, author kept my interest (which can be hard to do, I tend to daydream a lot) and would read another of her books.

[Tabitha · Rating 3 out of 5]

McLarin's book was a quick read that touched on modernization, race, privilege, and motherhood. By comparing the stories of her great grandmother, mother, and herself, she highlighted the differing mothering styles and the implications of privilege on "the problem that has no name." I wanted a bit more from this book, but overall it proved to be a solid story that unflinchingly touches on the joys and sorrows of motherhood and the continued desire to never be owned by others without retaining a bit of yourself.

[Deborah]

I enjoyed reading this author for the first time. She writes with a lot of spunk about characters who are dimensional and real. The story itself was a compelling look at motherhood -- the social stigma and personal turmoil that ensues when a woman, a mother, does not embrace and delight in that role. But rather like the protagonist in this story (Grace), longs to be free of it. The author analyzes this malady from a generational perspective that makes for some interesting, thought provoking reading.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't understand why this book isn't on the NY Times best seller list....for 40+ months! Anyone interested in race relations should read this book. The saying goes, "No one understands another until they walk in the other's shoes for twenty-four hours..." I'm not saying I get it as a white woman, but McLarin's voice, brilliantly echoing the struggle of three generations of black women, shares a perspective that is unforgiving, raw and brutally honest. Perhaps that is the reason it hasn't made the list....We're not strong enough.

[Crystal · Rating 1 out of 5]

Initially I had mixed thoughts about this book but by the end they were quite clear. I did not find the tale of the once professional now bitter housewife honest at all. She was plain bratty and selfish. I had such hopes for this novel as it traced the lives of three generations of black women, but it was a huge let down as the author made it a point to relive and account for ALL the injustices and struggles black Americans have ever experienced. Which in turn felt like overload.

[Jeanetta · Rating 3 out of 5]

The protagonist of this novel is an educated mother who isn't sure that she wants to be a mother. As someone who hasn't yet had children, and who assumes that I am missing something, I appreciated the opportunity to get a window into the world of someone who doesn't think having children is all that great.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rather weak characterization. I read this with my book club, and we had to fill in a back story for the main character to make sense of her. The author does have a talent for writing a page-turning story however, and I enjoyed her dips into the history of her family. She may have been a victim of fierce editing. There seemed to be gaps in the story.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this book may not have earned "4 stars" for the quality of writing, it definitely deserved all 4 for the taboo topic the author chose to explore. Very brave, previously unheard of subject matter. An enjoyable "quick read"...although definitely with potential to be offensive or emotional to some.