Finding the Words: Candid Conversations with Loved Ones

by Susan P. Halpern

Finding the Words offers principles and practical suggestions for those moments in relationships when one wants to be kind but also must discuss a sensitive matter. In thoughtful prose, Susan Halpern explains how to communicate with care in order to strengthen and increase our loving connections. The principles provided in the book—speaking from the heart, stating intentions, and deep listening—enable readers to navigate difficult encounters.
 
Halpern draws on her years of experience as a psychotherapist, wife, and mother to suggest possible, scripted solutions and positive outcomes for a wide range of a partner who needs to talk about the irritations of joint living, parents of an adult child who requires unexpected financial support, grandparents who don’t know how to intervene, siblings who disagree about politics or religion, and couples in times of crisis, illness, affairs, and divorce. An essential book for finding one’s way back to intimacy from conflict, nagging discomfort, and anger, Finding the Words teaches methods of responding, negotiating, and compromising. While there are numerous guides to relationships, no other book presents life situations—along with actual words that can be used to cope with them—with such vitality and wisdom.

248 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

Susan Halpern has been a social worker and psychotherapist for more than thirty years. Her first book, The Etiquette of Illness: What to Say When You Cant Find the Words, continues to be an important go-to manual for difficult times. Now in Finding the Words, Halpern offers principles and practical suggestions for those moments in relationships when one want to be kind but also must discuss a sensitive matter. She explains how to communicate with care in order to strengthen and increase our loving connections by speaking from the heart, stating intentions, and using deep listening while enabling navigation of difficult encounters.

Finding the Words, drawn from Halperns years of experience as psychotherapist, wife, and mother, suggests possible, scripted solutions and positive outcomes for a wide range of situations: a partner who needs to talk about the irritations of joint living, parents of an adult child who requires unexpected financial support, grandparents who dont know how to intervene, siblings who disagree about politics or religion, and couples in times of crisis, illness, affairs, and divorce. Presenting life situations along with the words that can be used to cope with them, Halpern offers honesty with a great deal of vitality and wisdom.

Reading Finding the Words is like taking out an insurance policy on the most precious of our relationships. It will carry you through times of crisis and enable you to rebuild the relationships that are the foundation of your life, often making them stronger and better than before. Rachel Naomi Remen, MD"