Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child

by Katie Allison Granju, Betsy Kennedy, William Sears

Grow a secure attachment with your children by listening to your heart
Popularized by bestselling pediatrician Dr. William Sears, "attachment parenting" encourages mothers and fathers to fully accept their babies' dependency needs. According to the growing numbers of attachment parenting advocates, consistent parental responsiveness to these needs leads to happy and emotionally well-balanced children.
This practical, comprehensive, and first-ever guide to today's most talked-about nurturing style, Attachment Parenting shows how some conventional childrearing advice can be detrimental, and urges you to trust your instincts on such important matters

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Family, Psychology

336 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 1999

Reviews

[Alana Garnica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would say for the most part I am an attachment parent
..I co sleep..I breastfeed on demand...I cloth diaper I carry my baby in a sling...but this book is very judgemental....I use bottles and have used formula when my supply dropped and I needed to cover a few feeding gs here and there...and I work....so this book makes it seem like I'm a bad mom for doing those things ...and some of the language....calling a crib a baby cage? really? my baby loves napping in his crib. ..maybe it's cause this book is from 1999? but it just came off as extremely judgmental

[Nathalie Coppens · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book from my parents who read it when my mum was pregnant with me so it's a bit outdated in the numbers and some research but the base is just as true now as it was 24 years ago.

I recommend every (to be) parent reads this book as the insights into parenthood are really good. I read it when my daugter was 4 mounths old while walking her in the sling up and down our road and it made me feel empowered in the choices my partner and I have made in looking after our daughter. We receive quite some backlash from his side of the family so having evidence helps a bit.

I bought the updated version in dutch for his parents to read as they will be looking after our daughter once a week. Hope it helps then in understanding and utilizing the info.

I would say that this version of the book can be rather judgmental e.i. Calling a playpen "The baby prison" while people with for example dogs would maybe feel more secure going to the toilet when they know their baby is safe in the playpen. So some wording could be less judgmental. I did see that in the updated book it's a lot less like that. So I would reccomend getting the new version if possible (if it's secondhand or something this one is also fine just be mindfull that their words aren't law 😉)

[Evelyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has some great things to say. As with pretty much every baby / parenting book I read, there are things I agree with and things I don't. I don't agree with AP's hardcore stance on things like the family bed, and wish they would calm down their inflammatory vocabulary choices (crib = "babycage" p.36). AP is all about breastfeeding on cue or on demand, and pretty much gives the impression that if you don't breastfeed, you're a terrible mother. I DO plan to nurse (hopefully for at least a year, maybe longer), and completely agree that breastfeeding is the best source of nutrition and calories for a growing infant, and that it provides the most special & intimate source of bonding, closeness, and comfort for a baby's developing senses & world. That being said, I have several close friends who have not been able to breastfeed their babies for one reason or another, and they are the most incredible mothers to their children. I would never want them to feel guilt-ridden or like they're somehow less of a mom.

Overall impression: some great things to think about, but mostly an encouragement to follow my instincts when my baby arrives and focus on parenting him in the most natural, close, loving, gentle, and active way possible.

[Melody · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parenting/Family
I was so grateful for having read this book before having my baby. It helped me to look further into the future, to see the kind of relationship that I hoped for with my child.

[Inder]

I need to stop reading this parenting crap (among other problems, it all seems to say the SAME THING) and get back to some Victorian novels. Back to the library ... and the "to-read" list.

[Karen Otis · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was written by a woman whose son as a baby she let run around without a bath for days, naked, and did not set rules for him to the point she called it bohemian parenting. He died at 18 from a drug overdose, and told family nothing she wrote was how she raised her kids. She nursed her daughter til she was 4 years old and had 3 children and a dog sleep in the same bed. At 12, her son said there was no room for him. At 6 years old, he climbed on the roof of their house and she said this was normal. She would not listen to anyone as she promoted herself and exploited her children on the internet making a joke of parenting in a local column called Parentis Locos. She was too busy to be a parent, and had a total of 5 children without considering their quality of life is she was depressed or absent.

[Mary Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think all expecting parents should read this book, even if you don’t do everything to a T. This book talks about how mothers have parented their children for thousands of years by being with the them, letting their baby eat when they want and sleep when they want. By the baby being attached to you they have and ease and a confidence to go out into the world. I will rely on this method until age 2, then will move on after.

[Kayli Knowles · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is very judgmental to any parenting practice that does not fall under their strict outline of attachment parenting. While I do love and follow some of the guidelines because they feel natural for me, it demonizes every practice that goes against it. The tone of the book claims to know what's best for every parent and every baby.

[Kitty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Still need to read Dr sears original, but this is a good AP book. Way more understanding and less judgy than most. (Ugh, beyond the sling) it has a use what works for your family and there's nothing wrong with working moms disclaimer.

[Georgi Nenov · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe that every parent-to-be should read or listen to this book, if we want to have happier and emotionally intelligent kids.

[Samantha · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this book looking to understand what exactly "attachment parenting" means in practice, but I didn't feel like I really learned all that much. I found myself skimming the majority of the book, as much time was spent on justifying (what I thought was) commonsense/obvious reasoning behind the different recommendations, and not enough time was spent on the actual recommendations themselves (with the continuous cop-out that the author does not know your family and therefore cannot make specific recommendations... which pretty much means I should rely on my intuition alone, which defeats the purpose of this book existing, no?). There are pages and pages of resources for further reading at the end of each chapter, but in the end, I guess I just felt like the practical guidance actually offered here could be summed up in about 6 pages, and the rest of the book was not really useful to me (though I did find it very entertaining - having just finished the Babywise book before this - that the author took the time to disparage the Babywise methods right in the first paragraph, haha). I felt this book could have used more concrete examples of what TO do, instead of focusing solely on what NOT to do, and I was a bit turned off by the tone and some of the (very judgmental) language, e.g. calling a crib a "babycage" and outright dismissing any and all safety concerns about cosleeping (even going so far as to indirectly criticize anyone who doesn't want to sleep in a communal room with mattresses on the floor, aka a crack den, as being a Martha Stewart wannabe). Overall, I would probably refer a friend to an article or blog post about attachment parenting rather than to this book, since I feel like you can find all the same information online (for free) much more quickly than skimming these 300+ pages.

[Dagnija Segliņa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pret bērniem ar mīlestību, cieņu, pacietību, izpratni. Nekā diži jauna, bet varbūt tāpēc, ka nu jau apkārt ir tik daudz labas info.

[Dara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This would be a very good introduction to attachment parenting, if it were not for the author's decision to use (hilariously!) loaded language to describe other methods and tools of parenting. Some choice examples include, "artificial baby milk" instead of the more neutral (and perfectly well understood) "formula" and "baby cages" to describe cribs. This tactic actually weakens her argument and plays into the hands of those who would paint AP parents as extremist. That said, if you can read those phrases with a healthy sense of humor, Granju does a good job of explaining the theory and practice of AP in a fairly accessible way. The resource lists in each chapter are also quite useful.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first I was a bit turned off by the tone of this book--the authors definitely have an agenda and that agenda is to sell you on attachment parenting practices and principles. That being said, I think there are some great suggestions for people who want to parent this way. From breastfeeding beyond the first year, to the pros and cons of different sling types and baby carriers, this book is chalked full of information. It is also contains an enormous amount of outside references and resources. If you want to learn how to be close to your baby via attachment parenting, this book is a must. It's definitely part of my parenting library and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to confidently raise their baby by learning from the best teacher--their own child!

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

From the title alone it should be clear that this book is encouraging a specific style of parenting. If you are new to the foundational principles of gentle parenting, this book will spell them out for you very clearly and will use some research to back up its suggestions. Much of the focus of the book is on breastfeeding, baby wearing, and co-sleeping/sleep training. It gives advice in all of these areas. It does not, however, do much to address the concerns that have been raised around these issues and it does not do a good job of citing research. It is a general information book for parents who are likely already predisposed to this parenting philosophy. For more actual research, I would suggest Meredith Small's "Our Babies, Ourselves" which is quoted often in this book.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

dr. sears popularized the concepts from this book in his "attachment parenting" series. though i respect sears and like his books, i'd recommend reading this first. it is so well-researched and documented. the information on breastfeeding alone is worth the purchase of this book. she writes with warmth and wisdom and espouses a parenting philosophy that is humane (as opposed to other "experts" who emphasize a strict, power-based rewards and punishments system).

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. Being a new parent, I was searching for philosphies that felt natural to my instincts for raising our new little one. This book offered many explanations and reasonings to the way I was already parenting. What I appreciated most about this book was that it made me question and think about parenting philosophies, without making me feel that there is an absolute "right" or "wrong" way. In the end, I felt it was a valuable source of information.

[Leahjoypro · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned so much from this book, but also had the feeling that much of it was something I already knew and felt in my heart, but got reassurance of (and research to back it up!) by reading this book. I wish I had read it earlier, when I was still in the stages of early parenting with my first. I particularly enjoyed the special articles inserted throughout the book from various authorities in the field.

[joy *the clean-reader extraordinaire* · Rating 4 out of 5]

i have to say, i did not set out to be an "attachment" parent, but it is indeed the way my instincts tell me to parent. this book is great! it spends a lot of time on the various ways that attachment parenting eases new baby care, and includes well-researched sections on feeding, babywearing, cosleeping, and more. the book was written and organized well and easy to read, even for a new mommy with a choppy reading schedule. i highly recommend it.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting intro to attachment parenting. While much of it seemed to be common sense and lifted from other resources (such as anything by Dr. Sears) it was a simple and fast read. I think this would be a great resource for new parents looking for an explanation of attachment parenting. However, for those looking for clear evidence rather than biased anecdotes, another book may be more appropriate.

[Christine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although I generally support an attachment-parenting philosophy, I found this book to be another annoying parenting manual --- less preachy than many others, but preachy nonetheless. The book is mainly on breastfeeding with much shorter sections on other aspects of attachment parenting. I also think that the book incorrectly de-emphasizes stay-at-home parenting as a significant aspect of attachment parenting.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book makes me feel so validated in how I am choosing to parent my son. I was concerned I was doing too much especially when hubby says I'm spoiling him; but this book shows it is a new concept to have your baby away from you so much of the day in baby "cages" (cribs/strollers/swings). It is the historical and natural norm to keep your baby with you constantly. Love it!!! Definitely read if you are making decisions on how to raise your child.

[Faye · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice, easy to read overview of attachment parenting with fabulous information on breastfeeding and recommended resources. I am a devoted follower of attachment parenting, but I found Granju's tone a bit off-putting at times. I wish she would have provided references to a lot of the claims, such as that studies have found correlations between IQ and breastfeeding duration.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this when my eldest was a baby. There is a lot of good info in this book, but Granju's tone is preachy at times. I really cannot see someone new to attachment parenting being convinced by this book-- if anything, it might be off-putting to new parents who are trying to learn about attachment parenting. I would recommend any of William and Martha Sears' books over this one.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm totally sold on attachment parenting after reading this book. I want to read more on the subject, though, because this book felt very incomplete. It talks a lot about breastfeeding/nursing! It also talks about co-sleeping and babywearing, but little about other parenting issues.

[Maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good introduction to AP. Always things to agree with or disagree with, but generally I liked it and it gave me a few things to think about. Especially baby wearing... loved that information!http://www.goodreads.com/review/edit/...#
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[Kristyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

The most valuable and interesting parts of this book include the anthropological studies and the book and media resources. As a parent, it helps to get a wide range of beliefs and practices in order to think through parenting choices/styles.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book (although it was certainly very biased, and the information on circumcision is now outdated - the AAP has withdrawn it's support of the cited study). The language is a little pushy at times but I still really enjoyed it and found it very informative.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I agree with many of the concepts this book discusses, I think the authors harp too long on reasons readers might not agree with the concepts presented. They are also very judgey and redundant - too much theory (without any real science to back it up) and not enough practicable advice. Boo.

[Michelle Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is a good overview of a parenting style that advocates a deep bond between parent/child...it encourages communication (yes even with a newborn)