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jaded: a poetic reckoning with white evangelical christian indoctrination
"An unrelenting love letter to the deconstructing exvangelical in all of us, jaded kicks your ass in all the ways you never knew you needed." —Stacey Chomiak, Still My Gay Christian Coming-of-Age Story
For those of us who are picking up pieces of life and faith and figuring out how to heal and move forward, a poetic reckoning with white evangelical christian indoctrination is a collection of poems—short, thoughtful, brave, and spicy—about getting stuff off our chests. Covering topics like evangelical scare tactics, sex and purity, patriarchy, white supremacy, and how the church treats the queer community, these poems say more in fewer words and with zero sugar-coating. With an appendix jam-packed with books to read on your journey, this is a book that will open you up and take you forward. you might not be able to put it down.
After author Marla Taviano wrote unbelieve, a book of poems chronicling her faith deconstruction, her plan was to move on from white evangelical Christianity to bigger, lovelier, more all-embracing thoughts. But she couldn’t do it. Why? Because she was still jaded—and knew there was work left to do.
Jaded is this former good Christian girl’s offering—a labor of anger and love. We might not need to stay here forever, but we need this now.
For those of us who are picking up pieces of life and faith and figuring out how to heal and move forward, a poetic reckoning with white evangelical christian indoctrination is a collection of poems—short, thoughtful, brave, and spicy—about getting stuff off our chests. Covering topics like evangelical scare tactics, sex and purity, patriarchy, white supremacy, and how the church treats the queer community, these poems say more in fewer words and with zero sugar-coating. With an appendix jam-packed with books to read on your journey, this is a book that will open you up and take you forward. you might not be able to put it down.
After author Marla Taviano wrote unbelieve, a book of poems chronicling her faith deconstruction, her plan was to move on from white evangelical Christianity to bigger, lovelier, more all-embracing thoughts. But she couldn’t do it. Why? Because she was still jaded—and knew there was work left to do.
Jaded is this former good Christian girl’s offering—a labor of anger and love. We might not need to stay here forever, but we need this now.
330 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 14, 2022
18 people are currently reading
198 people want to read
About the author
Marla Taviano
29 books53 followersMarla Taviano is into books, love, justice, globes, anti-racism, blue, gray, rainbows, and poems. She reads and writes for a living, wears her heart on her t-shirts, and is on a mission/quest/journey to live wholefarted (not a typo). She’s the author of unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic and jaded: a poetic reckoning with white evangelical christian indoctrination. Marla lives in South Carolina with her four freaking awesome kids. Find out more at marlataviano.com.
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September 19, 2024Books like this are such a gift and make me feel so seen in my anger and confusion and grief and need to keep thinking and writing and processing. And READING--never read a poetry collection with such an extensive bibliography and I'm so here for it.
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March 22, 2024I'm really struggling with how I want to talk about this book, and I sort of want to use this review to process how I feel about it. Some of this will be super personal to me, and less about the book, but well here we are. I'm not going to rate it, because honestly when a book feels this personal it feels a little weird to do so.
A few quick comments about my opinions of this book. I don't like the poetry style. It does not work for me. It's absolutely a preference thing but I just did not vibe with it even when I vibed with what Marla was saying. I also felt like often the most profound things in this book were quotes by other authors. And I didn't feel like some of them needed to be put in the format of a poem. Marla addresses some of this in an interesting and thought-provoking way in When Words Fail (a poem towards the end of the book) that softened some of my opinions of it. To be frank - the quotes are also amazing, it's well-curated, but I was usually more interested in what other people had to say about the topic than Marla. It is what it is.
With the title, perhaps I should've been prepared for the anger. I was, to an extent, it's an anger I know pretty well, though slightly more impersonally than Marla. I went through the beginning of my deconstruction way earlier than most people I know, and most of it was deconstructing of cognitive dissonance I was always feeling and didn't have words for. I often thank my parents for saving me from the worst of religious trauma, because for all the bullshit I heard from church, my parents didn't often repeat it (still their fault for exposing me, but thanks for the cognitive dissonance mom and dad, it made me reconsider it a lot sooner). While I was learning about purity culture, my mom was asking me if I needed birth control and reminding me I could ask her for it (I had just literally run away from the first person who'd ever shown me any interest, so...no, but I appreciate the thought mom). I was saying 'love the sinner hate the sin' as a teenager because it was the only way I could reconcile what I was hearing in church with my Christmases with my Jewish lesbian 'aunts' (and my mom being best woman at their 'wedding' (prior to legality)) (I let go of this real quick, even if I didn't say it aloud to anyone for years who wasn't online). That's just a couple of quick examples, but I think it paints a picture. So while parts of this book were very relatable, there's a way Marla was entrenched in all of this that I never was. I think that meant I wanted more from it, I wanted anger, but I also wanted grief and lament, I wanted hope (which the book gets to at the end, a little), I wanted other emotions and other ideas. I've done anger. I'm looking for more (and that's not just as a reference to her planned third poetry deconstruction book, though I'm very interested in that).
But, honestly, it's really not Marla Taviano's problem that I didn't get what I wanted out of her deconstruction poems. I think she'd sympathize and empathize, politely point out that she never promised me sweetness of any kind, and in fact warned me I wouldn't get it, and then point out that maybe her deconstruction wasn't about me.
Point taken, Marla. I do get it. I promise.
A very interesting book that I didn't structurally enjoy, whose quotes I liked better than its poems, but was personal and interesting and worthwhile.
I will say I fucking love Why the Paul Fetish? and Darth Paul, those poems are cosigned by me personally.
A few quick comments about my opinions of this book. I don't like the poetry style. It does not work for me. It's absolutely a preference thing but I just did not vibe with it even when I vibed with what Marla was saying. I also felt like often the most profound things in this book were quotes by other authors. And I didn't feel like some of them needed to be put in the format of a poem. Marla addresses some of this in an interesting and thought-provoking way in When Words Fail (a poem towards the end of the book) that softened some of my opinions of it. To be frank - the quotes are also amazing, it's well-curated, but I was usually more interested in what other people had to say about the topic than Marla. It is what it is.
With the title, perhaps I should've been prepared for the anger. I was, to an extent, it's an anger I know pretty well, though slightly more impersonally than Marla. I went through the beginning of my deconstruction way earlier than most people I know, and most of it was deconstructing of cognitive dissonance I was always feeling and didn't have words for. I often thank my parents for saving me from the worst of religious trauma, because for all the bullshit I heard from church, my parents didn't often repeat it (still their fault for exposing me, but thanks for the cognitive dissonance mom and dad, it made me reconsider it a lot sooner). While I was learning about purity culture, my mom was asking me if I needed birth control and reminding me I could ask her for it (I had just literally run away from the first person who'd ever shown me any interest, so...no, but I appreciate the thought mom). I was saying 'love the sinner hate the sin' as a teenager because it was the only way I could reconcile what I was hearing in church with my Christmases with my Jewish lesbian 'aunts' (and my mom being best woman at their 'wedding' (prior to legality)) (I let go of this real quick, even if I didn't say it aloud to anyone for years who wasn't online). That's just a couple of quick examples, but I think it paints a picture. So while parts of this book were very relatable, there's a way Marla was entrenched in all of this that I never was. I think that meant I wanted more from it, I wanted anger, but I also wanted grief and lament, I wanted hope (which the book gets to at the end, a little), I wanted other emotions and other ideas. I've done anger. I'm looking for more (and that's not just as a reference to her planned third poetry deconstruction book, though I'm very interested in that).
But, honestly, it's really not Marla Taviano's problem that I didn't get what I wanted out of her deconstruction poems. I think she'd sympathize and empathize, politely point out that she never promised me sweetness of any kind, and in fact warned me I wouldn't get it, and then point out that maybe her deconstruction wasn't about me.
Point taken, Marla. I do get it. I promise.
A very interesting book that I didn't structurally enjoy, whose quotes I liked better than its poems, but was personal and interesting and worthwhile.
I will say I fucking love Why the Paul Fetish? and Darth Paul, those poems are cosigned by me personally.
March 9, 2023
This book of poems records a journey of deconstructing harmful ideologies while learning to give space to marginalized voices.
Marla’s book is full of spicy comebacks to white evangelical’s contempt for her growth and healing. A book that devotes chapters to topics like purity culture and the Patriarchy. I felt seen.
But Marla doesn’t stop at ideologies that harmed herself. She also brings up topics such as colonization, evangelical scare tactics, and white supremacy where Marla’s admits involvement. I was right there with her.
She shares what’s she’s learned about mama earth, the “queerly beloved” and loving herself. And I recognized those lessons as I have begun to learn.
Once upon a time I used to write in the margins of my Bible…. Parroting thoughts of old white preacher men.
It was healing to write my thoughts in the large white spaces next to Marla’s poems. Next to the words of Black, disabled, queer, and Indigenous people. Her book gave me permission to declare, admit, and resolve.
I am in love with Marla’s anger and determination. Her spunk and her humility. I admire how she can stand up for herself while also admitting where she was wrong. I want to grow up to be Marla.
Marla’s book is full of spicy comebacks to white evangelical’s contempt for her growth and healing. A book that devotes chapters to topics like purity culture and the Patriarchy. I felt seen.
But Marla doesn’t stop at ideologies that harmed herself. She also brings up topics such as colonization, evangelical scare tactics, and white supremacy where Marla’s admits involvement. I was right there with her.
She shares what’s she’s learned about mama earth, the “queerly beloved” and loving herself. And I recognized those lessons as I have begun to learn.
Once upon a time I used to write in the margins of my Bible…. Parroting thoughts of old white preacher men.
It was healing to write my thoughts in the large white spaces next to Marla’s poems. Next to the words of Black, disabled, queer, and Indigenous people. Her book gave me permission to declare, admit, and resolve.
I am in love with Marla’s anger and determination. Her spunk and her humility. I admire how she can stand up for herself while also admitting where she was wrong. I want to grow up to be Marla.
December 24, 2022
Occasionally exuberant, often acerbic, constantly insightful, Jaded is a collection of poems that confronts the toxic fundamentalism that has clasped much of American Christianity in its jaws for decades…and bites back. It questions and indicts harmful belief systems with the wisdom and weariness of a survivor but also with the shaky joy of a freed captive. The author writes with an intimate understanding of the full spectrum of complex emotions felt by those who leave behind the seeming security of their old ideologies and gives poignant expression to all of them.
But Jaded does much more than lament, call out, or poetically process old systems and deep feelings, it also lovingly leaves a trail of beautiful breadcrumbs to those voices ignored, silenced, or slandered under the old systems. Words and thoughts from black, indigenous, queer, and disabled spaces are highlighted and given room to speak for themselves, and readers are invited to become learners alongside the author and to take the journey to discover more.
In short, Jaded is a passionate, challenging, and beneficial poetic companion.
But Jaded does much more than lament, call out, or poetically process old systems and deep feelings, it also lovingly leaves a trail of beautiful breadcrumbs to those voices ignored, silenced, or slandered under the old systems. Words and thoughts from black, indigenous, queer, and disabled spaces are highlighted and given room to speak for themselves, and readers are invited to become learners alongside the author and to take the journey to discover more.
In short, Jaded is a passionate, challenging, and beneficial poetic companion.
December 6, 2023
They say to write from your scars, not from open wounds. And I think there is wisdom there. But…
I think we also need records of the wounds in our world. We need words that flow out of the messy middle, that are raw and haven’t had the edges sanded off yet. Because they stand as a reminder that this, too, is truth. Writing from our wounds can let other know that they are not alone. They remind us that these middle parts of life have value, not just as passageways but also as rest stops.
Marla’s beautiful, raw poetry takes us on a journey of discovery and grace. It is both edgy and hope-filled in all the best ways. It may not be for everyone, but if it’s for you then I think you will find it incredibly comforting and cathartic and delightful. (It is definitely for me!)
Since Marla’s poetry is autobiographical I highly recommend reading her first poetry collection, Unbelieve, (which is also excellent) before you pick up Jaded.
I think we also need records of the wounds in our world. We need words that flow out of the messy middle, that are raw and haven’t had the edges sanded off yet. Because they stand as a reminder that this, too, is truth. Writing from our wounds can let other know that they are not alone. They remind us that these middle parts of life have value, not just as passageways but also as rest stops.
Marla’s beautiful, raw poetry takes us on a journey of discovery and grace. It is both edgy and hope-filled in all the best ways. It may not be for everyone, but if it’s for you then I think you will find it incredibly comforting and cathartic and delightful. (It is definitely for me!)
Since Marla’s poetry is autobiographical I highly recommend reading her first poetry collection, Unbelieve, (which is also excellent) before you pick up Jaded.
March 5, 2023
Underlining every page,
There’s a whole lot of truth
In the things we undo.
See also: in Mara’s poetic verse.
There’s a whole lot of truth
In the things we undo.
See also: in Mara’s poetic verse.
March 12, 2023
The ways Marla Taviano says so much and tells truth in such few and beautiful words tugs strings in my brain and helps immensely in identifying my own stance more clearly.
Also, I LOVE the appendix’s of books to read in jaded and unbelieve. I can’t wait for more!
Also, I LOVE the appendix’s of books to read in jaded and unbelieve. I can’t wait for more!
March 20, 2024
To humorous, sometimes startling effect, Marla Taviano expresses anger, resentment, grief, and even shame arising from the wounds of toxic Christianity. Her gratitude is also palpable throughout – for how far she’s come, for her children, for her friends, for incredible, diverse writers, and for the life she is creating with open eyes and an open heart. Jaded could be a lifesaver for people currently trapped (by unhealthy/abusive churches, marriages, etc.) or just beginning similar journeys of reckoning who will take comfort in Taviano’s fearless truth-telling and resiliency. But this book is at least as important for Christians who do not have personal experience with evangelicalism, do not realize how extreme some churches are, or assume everyone who is part of such a church is there happily and voluntarily. Jaded is also an important book for Christians who have never noticed or manage to overlook the ways mainline churches can also cause harm or not feel like safe spaces.
Whether I was rooting her on, feeling righteous anger on her behalf, or wanting to invite her to my church when no one is there, I felt like I came to know the author as I read. Because I loved Jaded and the book before it, unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic, so much, I am also eagerly awaiting her next book, whole: poems on reclaiming the pieces of ourselves and creating something new. Taviano may be jaded, but she is also hopeful and loving, and always learning, all of which comes through in her poetry, inviting the reader to join her on a journey toward something better.
Whether I was rooting her on, feeling righteous anger on her behalf, or wanting to invite her to my church when no one is there, I felt like I came to know the author as I read. Because I loved Jaded and the book before it, unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic, so much, I am also eagerly awaiting her next book, whole: poems on reclaiming the pieces of ourselves and creating something new. Taviano may be jaded, but she is also hopeful and loving, and always learning, all of which comes through in her poetry, inviting the reader to join her on a journey toward something better.
December 22, 2022
Like Marla’s first book, Unbelieve, Jaded is chock full of quotes from other authors (not surprising, because Marla READS MORE THAN ME and shares at her @whitegirllearning Instagram account) and musings from her own experience that will make someone (particularly someone who has grown up with the fundamentalist flavor of evangelical Christianity) think. Or question. Or throw the book across the room because the questions feel threatening if you’re immersed in a culture that wants to act like it knows all the answers. Jaded has a few more f-bombs than her purple-covered sister and starts out pretty salty and sassy, but then veers into disability justice, racism, lgbtq issues, purity culture and patriarchy. And you also get some glimpses into Marla’s journey of heartbreak, pain, and piecing together her life after her husband left their family.
Marla is proud to still be “in process,” to still be learning and growing, and she invites the reader into their own journey of growth and discovery. Even if your orthodoxy lands in a different place than Marla, your examination of your beliefs will make you the better for it.
Marla is proud to still be “in process,” to still be learning and growing, and she invites the reader into their own journey of growth and discovery. Even if your orthodoxy lands in a different place than Marla, your examination of your beliefs will make you the better for it.
January 6, 2023
Marla Taviano’s jaded follows in the footsteps of unbelieve with some spicy detours. Memoir, critique, encouragement—Marla uses her personal story to confront injustice. She uniquely weaves her original poems with words written by marginalized and oppressed voices and excerpts from theologians and subject-area experts. From purity culture to patriarchy and white supremacy to colonization, Marla hits on many topics that need to be acknowledged by those of us who are currently causing/have previously caused harm. Including the harm and hurt we’ve done to ourselves along the way. She has a heart for learning, changing, and taking action and as a reader, I can’t help but want to join her on this journey.
December 22, 2022
Marla Taviano does it again! Like its predecessor unbelieve, jaded puts into words what so many in the deconstruction community have thought, felt, and experienced. Through Marla’s conversational poetry, you’ll feel like you’re sitting across from a dear friend as you read. Thank you, Marla, for sharing such raw and tender moments with your readers and receiving our raw and tender moments, too.
January 8, 2023
I read this book in less than a day. It hurt to put it down. Every single page I read had me laughing or crying or texting a friend. Marla articulates incredibly well how she’s currently feeling about Christianity and activism and more and I relate 100%. If you’re deconstructing your faith and wanting more out of life, you will love this book.
December 20, 2022
Like in Unbelieve, I love Marla’s story across her poetry. I spent half the time reading this cackling at the snark, feeling the rage, and appreciating that I too feel jaded. The other half I dived into the story that Marla weaved throughout, nodding my head thinking, “mmmm, yeah. That’s so true.”
December 24, 2022
Sassy, honest, & bold, Marla’s newest book, jaded, is even better than her last. She speaks directly & with no holding back, challenging readers to think outside the box. It’s a fun read with a lot of relatable moments & exactly what is needed in the world today.
January 6, 2023
as an exvangelical & queer christian, I strongly resonate with the sentiments expressed in jaded. looooovee this book and highly recommend for anyone in the same boat.
January 23, 2023
So much fun to read. Marla helps you express what you're feeling about the changing world of religion and puts you in a better space, better ready to move forward.
December 31, 2025
I had to get up at pg18 to get my highlighter. There were so many things I did not want to forget. I do not understand how Marla weaves all the parts of being a deconstructing evangelical white Christian woman into one book (well, a series of three books) but she does, and she does it so well. I relate to her story in so many ways, and I know that she and I are not alone. If you've been on this journey, you will absolutely love this series. I felt a little bad about how fast I read this (and book 1 too!) but then I got to page 300, to a poem called "worth every minute" and I laughed out loud. Marla is well aware a book of poetry doesn't take too much time to read, but I'm thankful for every minute she took writing this series.
April 27, 2023
I found Marla on Instagram (@whitegirllearning you should definitely follow her). She spends so much of her time lifting, celebrating and supporting BIPOC authors it only seemed right to support her as well. This is book two of her poetry trilogy. I enjoyed her first, Unbelieve, but loved Jaded. It was so fiery, she doesn’t hold back and tells it like it is. Looking forward to her next book. This is not my usual genre, but I learned so much and have enjoyed seeing Marla’s growth. Would definitely recommend.
October 15, 2023
Truly a phenomenal read. That said, I’m not sure the author truly understands how to use line breaks effectively and some of these “poems” feel more like a tweet where she randomly pressed the “enter” key. My only problems were stylistic though. I loved everything she had to say and would recommend this to anyone who’s gone through personal religious transformation or wants to understand people who have. Rarely do I feel glad to have purchased a book before reading it, but this one wasn’t available at the library and I’m so happy to own it.
February 27, 2024
Not so much agnostic as diagnostic
In this incisive and inspiring follow-up to the self-published unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic, Marla Taviano takes apart the white evangelical Christian doctrines which not only kept her in the dark for decades but also wrought incalculable harm upon marginalized communities - and again she introduces us to many of the authors who have facilitated her evolution. I would especially recommend the audiobook, engagingly narrated by Kim Ramon.
In this incisive and inspiring follow-up to the self-published unbelieve: poems on the journey to becoming a heretic, Marla Taviano takes apart the white evangelical Christian doctrines which not only kept her in the dark for decades but also wrought incalculable harm upon marginalized communities - and again she introduces us to many of the authors who have facilitated her evolution. I would especially recommend the audiobook, engagingly narrated by Kim Ramon.
August 30, 2023
Thought-provoking, raw, insightful. Jaded is the second book I’ve read from the author, and I am again thoroughly impressed. The collection of poems and quotes had me sitting in deep thought and asking myself many questions. Jaded is the sort of book our generation needs— a book written by someone who unapologetically calls out what’s been happening in our society for far too long while poetically challenging the “system.”
A highly recommended read. Bravo to the author!
A highly recommended read. Bravo to the author!
June 14, 2024
I took my time with this one and had to set it aside for a few months both so I could savor it and because it hit too close to home at times. This was spectacular and I love that her work is so moving and powerful in such few words....just wonderful! I LOVE Marla and her work in these poetic reckonings. Just ordered Whole from a local bookstore and can't wait to dive in.
January 24, 2024
a fun listen! i don’t feel as jaded as the author but i agree with most everything she’s pointing out. maybe if i’d been deep in the conservative circles for more of my adult life and been cheated on by my misogynistic husband i would be though. GOOD CHANCE
June 13, 2024
Jaded is a cathartic poetic journey. Marla puts words to feelings with wit and honesty. She gives her readers an open door to feel all the rage, disappointment, and sadness that come with reevaluating your beliefs.
August 12, 2024
I've never read a book like this. While I think some of these poems lacked polish, they made up for it in feeling. The author's anger and sadness were palpable on the page, and I related to many of the feelings of disillusionment with white evangelicalism. She left no stone unturned and pulled no punches.
December 30, 2022
4.5 stars. An excellent follow-up to Unbelieve. Definitely relate to hoping you get more peaceful and actually finding there is still more anger and hurt to wade through.
January 6, 2023
Marla puts words to ideas I dwas having but couldn't express. It feels validating.
January 8, 2023
Sassy and unfiltered. Poetic. Part nonfiction, part memoir. A quick read that will make you think and nod your head.
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December 28, 2025$.50 at the thrift store so why not. Exactly what you’d expect.
April 4, 2025
If you are looking for some deconstruction poetry, Marla Taviano has written three books full!
She delves into topics like deconstructing sexuality and purity culture, deconstructing racism and whiteness, deconstructing evangelicalism, church and missions work.
Her poetry is part memoir, sharing about her husband’s affair, divorce, parenting and living in another country as a missionary.
She disrobes the patriarchy with her prose—uncovering white male supremacy and helping dismantle it. She affirms queer people and their relationships, repenting of past harm.
Marla’s poetry is emotional, expressive, sometimes angry and jaded, she expresses doubt, and a passionate journey to loving oneself and forming a new identity post-deconstruction. She draws on other authors and commemorates Rachel Held Evans. She is witty and funny, but also supports grief, sadness, and tears.
Her books are very relatable for people experiencing faith deconstruction with elements of reconstruction (in queer-affirmation, anti-racism, gender equity etc.).
Read it and weep!
She delves into topics like deconstructing sexuality and purity culture, deconstructing racism and whiteness, deconstructing evangelicalism, church and missions work.
Her poetry is part memoir, sharing about her husband’s affair, divorce, parenting and living in another country as a missionary.
She disrobes the patriarchy with her prose—uncovering white male supremacy and helping dismantle it. She affirms queer people and their relationships, repenting of past harm.
Marla’s poetry is emotional, expressive, sometimes angry and jaded, she expresses doubt, and a passionate journey to loving oneself and forming a new identity post-deconstruction. She draws on other authors and commemorates Rachel Held Evans. She is witty and funny, but also supports grief, sadness, and tears.
Her books are very relatable for people experiencing faith deconstruction with elements of reconstruction (in queer-affirmation, anti-racism, gender equity etc.).
Read it and weep!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews