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Scars That Have Shaped Me: How God Meets Us in Suffering
MP3 CD Format Twenty-one surgeries by age thirteen. Years in the hospital. Verbal and physical bullying from schoolmates. Multiple miscarriages as a young wife. The death of a child. A debilitating progressive disease. Riveting pain. Abandonment. Unwanted divorce.
Vaneetha Rendall Risner begged God for grace that would deliver her. But God offered something his sustaining grace.
In The Scars That Have Shaped Me , Vaneetha does more than share her stories of pain; she invites other sufferers to taste with her the goodness of a sovereign God who will carry us in our darkest of days.
Vaneetha Rendall Risner begged God for grace that would deliver her. But God offered something his sustaining grace.
In The Scars That Have Shaped Me , Vaneetha does more than share her stories of pain; she invites other sufferers to taste with her the goodness of a sovereign God who will carry us in our darkest of days.
1 pages, Audio CD
First published October 1, 2016
253 people are currently reading
1587 people want to read
About the author
Vaneetha Rendall Risner
9 books93 followersVaneetha Rendall Risner is a freelance writer and a regular contributor to Desiring God. She blogs at danceintherain.com, although she doesn’t like rain and has no sense of rhythm. Vaneetha is married to Joel and has two daughters, Katie and Kristi. She and Joel live in Raleigh, North Carolina.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 151 reviews
February 4, 2017
Vaneetha Rendall Risner's occasional blog posts at Desiring God’s website had already won my respect and provided me much help, so even without those introductions I knew that her first book, The Scars That Have Shaped Me: How God Meets Us in Suffering, was one I wanted to read, and soon. The book, adapted from material first presented on her personal blog, did not disappoint.
If you have found encouragement in the words of Joni Eareckson Tada or Amy Carmichael, writing as they have from suffering into suffering, you will probably appreciate Mrs. Risner's words as well. If you are groping for a candle in a dark season of pain, you will find one here.
My eBook is replete with highlights. At some point, the markings lose some of their meaning and the question becomes, "Okay, what's not highlighted?" Here are a few of my most favorite passages, in the prayer that they will encourage you and pique your interest enough to read the whole book.
On lament:
Lamenting keeps us engaged with God. When we lament, we invite God into our pain so that we can know his comfort, and others can see that our faith is real. Our faith is not a façade we erect to convince ourselves and others that pain doesn’t hurt—it is an oak tree that can withstand the storms of doubt and pain in our lives, and grow stronger through them (Kindle Location: 409).
On knowing God:
God is valuable not because he makes our lives easier. He is valuable because he is the Lord of the universe and knowing him is better than anything in this life. Knowing him is the ultimate joy. Knowing him is worth any ordeal we may endure. This is a God worthy of worship (Location: 918).
On how to work through the spiritual deserts:
So what do we do when we feel drained and empty? When no one understands our suffering and no one seems to care? When we feel discouraged and tired and unbearably lonely? Read the Bible and pray. Read the Bible even when it feels like eating cardboard. And pray even when it feels like talking to a wall. Does it sound simple? It is. Does it also sound exceedingly hard? It is that as well. But reading the Bible and praying is the only way I have ever found out of my grief. There are no shortcuts to healing. Often I wish there were, because I’d like to move on from the pain. But in many ways, I am thankful for the transformative process I undergo. A process requiring that I read the Bible and pray (Location: 1039).
On suffering for the kingdom and glory of God:
God’s glory is on display for the angels and demons when people demonstrate that their hearts are satisfied in God alone rather than in his gifts. When we declare that God is more precious than our health, our happiness, even our very lives, we highlight his supreme worth to an immense, invisible audience. That message helped me through years of struggle. I speak and write about suffering, and sometimes my words inadvertently make it sound wistful and romantic. Almost noble. Talking about “crying myself to sleep” sounds a lot more beautiful than what it really is—feeling nauseated in a dark, lonely room, with an empty box of Kleenex and a raging headache from sobbing. There’s nothing even remotely appealing about raw pain. When no one sees or knows or even seems to care. When morning brings a cold numbness that permeates your soul and makes you feel completely dead inside. When every day seems harder than the day before, and you wonder how much longer you can go on. When life seems grueling and gritty and even gruesome, and death seems like it would be a welcome relief. And yet, in the midst of crushing circumstances, we know something else is going on. Something bigger than we can imagine. Something that puts our pain into a larger context (Location: 1192).
On the merits of grace that comes daily like manna:
Delivering grace or sustaining grace. Which is more precious? We Need Both
In delivering grace, we see God’s glory. Everyone can see the miracle he has wrought for us. And usually our lives are easier as a result. We have what we asked for. And we thank God for it. But after a while, we go back to the business of living. New difficulties come up. And we may even forget about what he’s done because we aren’t continuously going back to him. Sustaining grace also showcases God’s glory. But with sustaining grace, people can see the miracle he has wrought in us. Our lives are easier because our perspective is different. With sustaining grace, we must continually go back to God. This grace is not a one-time thing, just as manna was not a one-time event. We need it every day. And it keeps us dependent on God. With sustaining grace, we get more of Jesus. His comfort, his nearness, his very presence. Both delivering grace and sustaining grace are essential in the Christian life. They are interconnected. Delivering grace is vital. We need to pray for it. It’s biblical. Life can be relentlessly hard, and we need to know that deliverance is possible. That our prayers are effective. That our situation can change. Without the possibility of deliverance, we’d lose hope. We might stop praying. We could succumb to total despair. But it is in the asking, even begging, for deliverance, and in the subsequent waiting for it, that we get sustaining grace, the grace to press on in the blazing heat. And this grace is accompanied by the intimate presence of the living God. So when I am sustained but not delivered, God is inviting me to see the miracle I have received. It is a more precious answer to prayer than I ever realized. Manna, my daily bread, the Bread of Life himself. He alone sustains me in the desert (Location: 1329).
My only (and very minor) quibble with this book was that there were some formatting issues in the Kindle book. For me these were not deal-breakers, but I mention it because I know there are some readers for whom that would be enough of a distraction that they would prefer the paperback because of it.
In short, Mrs. Risner is a bell sheep, one who has listened to the heartbeat of the Shepherd who sustains her and who now rings her bell to point others to His presence, even in the darkest valleys. My heart goes out to her and her family in the intense suffering they have endured and are enduring, but I praise the Lord for the miracle of His sustaining grace in her life and the bell-ringing testimony in this book.
If you have found encouragement in the words of Joni Eareckson Tada or Amy Carmichael, writing as they have from suffering into suffering, you will probably appreciate Mrs. Risner's words as well. If you are groping for a candle in a dark season of pain, you will find one here.
My eBook is replete with highlights. At some point, the markings lose some of their meaning and the question becomes, "Okay, what's not highlighted?" Here are a few of my most favorite passages, in the prayer that they will encourage you and pique your interest enough to read the whole book.
On lament:
Lamenting keeps us engaged with God. When we lament, we invite God into our pain so that we can know his comfort, and others can see that our faith is real. Our faith is not a façade we erect to convince ourselves and others that pain doesn’t hurt—it is an oak tree that can withstand the storms of doubt and pain in our lives, and grow stronger through them (Kindle Location: 409).
On knowing God:
God is valuable not because he makes our lives easier. He is valuable because he is the Lord of the universe and knowing him is better than anything in this life. Knowing him is the ultimate joy. Knowing him is worth any ordeal we may endure. This is a God worthy of worship (Location: 918).
On how to work through the spiritual deserts:
So what do we do when we feel drained and empty? When no one understands our suffering and no one seems to care? When we feel discouraged and tired and unbearably lonely? Read the Bible and pray. Read the Bible even when it feels like eating cardboard. And pray even when it feels like talking to a wall. Does it sound simple? It is. Does it also sound exceedingly hard? It is that as well. But reading the Bible and praying is the only way I have ever found out of my grief. There are no shortcuts to healing. Often I wish there were, because I’d like to move on from the pain. But in many ways, I am thankful for the transformative process I undergo. A process requiring that I read the Bible and pray (Location: 1039).
On suffering for the kingdom and glory of God:
God’s glory is on display for the angels and demons when people demonstrate that their hearts are satisfied in God alone rather than in his gifts. When we declare that God is more precious than our health, our happiness, even our very lives, we highlight his supreme worth to an immense, invisible audience. That message helped me through years of struggle. I speak and write about suffering, and sometimes my words inadvertently make it sound wistful and romantic. Almost noble. Talking about “crying myself to sleep” sounds a lot more beautiful than what it really is—feeling nauseated in a dark, lonely room, with an empty box of Kleenex and a raging headache from sobbing. There’s nothing even remotely appealing about raw pain. When no one sees or knows or even seems to care. When morning brings a cold numbness that permeates your soul and makes you feel completely dead inside. When every day seems harder than the day before, and you wonder how much longer you can go on. When life seems grueling and gritty and even gruesome, and death seems like it would be a welcome relief. And yet, in the midst of crushing circumstances, we know something else is going on. Something bigger than we can imagine. Something that puts our pain into a larger context (Location: 1192).
On the merits of grace that comes daily like manna:
Delivering grace or sustaining grace. Which is more precious? We Need Both
In delivering grace, we see God’s glory. Everyone can see the miracle he has wrought for us. And usually our lives are easier as a result. We have what we asked for. And we thank God for it. But after a while, we go back to the business of living. New difficulties come up. And we may even forget about what he’s done because we aren’t continuously going back to him. Sustaining grace also showcases God’s glory. But with sustaining grace, people can see the miracle he has wrought in us. Our lives are easier because our perspective is different. With sustaining grace, we must continually go back to God. This grace is not a one-time thing, just as manna was not a one-time event. We need it every day. And it keeps us dependent on God. With sustaining grace, we get more of Jesus. His comfort, his nearness, his very presence. Both delivering grace and sustaining grace are essential in the Christian life. They are interconnected. Delivering grace is vital. We need to pray for it. It’s biblical. Life can be relentlessly hard, and we need to know that deliverance is possible. That our prayers are effective. That our situation can change. Without the possibility of deliverance, we’d lose hope. We might stop praying. We could succumb to total despair. But it is in the asking, even begging, for deliverance, and in the subsequent waiting for it, that we get sustaining grace, the grace to press on in the blazing heat. And this grace is accompanied by the intimate presence of the living God. So when I am sustained but not delivered, God is inviting me to see the miracle I have received. It is a more precious answer to prayer than I ever realized. Manna, my daily bread, the Bread of Life himself. He alone sustains me in the desert (Location: 1329).
My only (and very minor) quibble with this book was that there were some formatting issues in the Kindle book. For me these were not deal-breakers, but I mention it because I know there are some readers for whom that would be enough of a distraction that they would prefer the paperback because of it.
In short, Mrs. Risner is a bell sheep, one who has listened to the heartbeat of the Shepherd who sustains her and who now rings her bell to point others to His presence, even in the darkest valleys. My heart goes out to her and her family in the intense suffering they have endured and are enduring, but I praise the Lord for the miracle of His sustaining grace in her life and the bell-ringing testimony in this book.
May 5, 2019
This is an excellent book. Vaneetha is so real with her pain and raw in her writing style, making her easy to relate to. Yet at the same time, her faith is so deep and her points are so scripturally strong. She highlights a beautiful point that is often missed in Christian culture - it's ok to be heartbroken and angry, it is ok to lament to God, and it is ok to admit defeat. She so eloquently removes the need to shove aside our feelings in order to be "content," and shares what a blessing it is to be real. My only complaint about this book is that it felt a bit disjointed in its writing - more like a collection of blogposts instead of a cohesive book - but that is a minor complaint, and overall the book is still wonderful.
January 10, 2017
I have admired Vaneetha Rendall Risner's writing on suffering, both on her blog and on the Desiring God website, for some years now- especially as I have been facing my own battles with health, disappointment and unfulfilled longing. Unlike many other writers and fellow Christians, Vaneetha has become a kindred spirit in her suffering because of her honesty about the ongoing struggle to trust God in the midst of incredibly dark times and seemingly never-ending traumas. I am so glad that Desiring God have recognised her talent for sensitively reflecting Jesus in her pain. Her responses are not trite, her encouragements are real and come from a place of genuine understanding. This volume includes a collection of her writings on various experiences of suffering, and the real relationship with God that underlies them. It does not have to be read in a linear fashion, though it can be. The benefit of the structure is that on a day when you are struggling with loneliness, illness, weakness or grief, you can dwell on the truths of God with a fellow traveller and realise that though much suffering must be carried alone, there are many others who share that road, with whom we find comfort and community. I pray the sensitivity and authenticity of this one woman's difficulties and joys (firmly rooted in Jesus) can be example to believers everywhere. Instead of hiding our pain, we should see it as a blessing, as a way to comfort others and depend on God closer than ever, even if he seems far. I do hope Vaneetha continues to write and that others like her will follow.
July 1, 2024
A moving testimony of God's mighty work of love within our suffering.
One of my favorite quotes:
“This is the most precious answer God can give us: wait. It makes us cling to him rather than to an outcome."
One of my favorite quotes:
“This is the most precious answer God can give us: wait. It makes us cling to him rather than to an outcome."
May 25, 2017
I've read other excellent books on the subject of suffering: Joni Tada's "When God Weeps." DA Carson's "How Long, O Lord?" Tullian Tchividjian's "Glorious Ruin."
But this debut book by a woman who has walked a road of much suffering since childhood, is by far the most authentic, most practical, most HOPEFUL book I've read. She assumes her reader is presently wrestling with painful circumstances; so she writes brief, topical, helpful chapters on a variety of topics, weaving scripture, her own experience, and wisdom from others into her chapters.
I have already given copies of this book to several friends, and plan on getting more to pass around! A God-glorifying, helpful look into how to respond to the suffering in your life with honesty and trust in the Lord.
But this debut book by a woman who has walked a road of much suffering since childhood, is by far the most authentic, most practical, most HOPEFUL book I've read. She assumes her reader is presently wrestling with painful circumstances; so she writes brief, topical, helpful chapters on a variety of topics, weaving scripture, her own experience, and wisdom from others into her chapters.
I have already given copies of this book to several friends, and plan on getting more to pass around! A God-glorifying, helpful look into how to respond to the suffering in your life with honesty and trust in the Lord.
July 7, 2017
This book felt disjointed and repetitive. I get that it is a collection of blog posts, but it could have been better edited to make it feel more cohesive. While the author's thoughts on suffering are sometimes moving, it isn't a very deep or scriptural book. There are better books on suffering available.
As a side note, the formatting on the Kindle version is terrible. No breaks between chapters, the headings in the chapters run into the paragraphs, occasionally there is a page number in the middle of the page, and the footnote numbers aren't formatted to take you to the footnote and back by tapping on them. If you want to read this book, I recommend getting the paperback.
As a side note, the formatting on the Kindle version is terrible. No breaks between chapters, the headings in the chapters run into the paragraphs, occasionally there is a page number in the middle of the page, and the footnote numbers aren't formatted to take you to the footnote and back by tapping on them. If you want to read this book, I recommend getting the paperback.
December 23, 2016
I have followed the author's blog for a while, so some of the book was familiar to me. There are some wonderfully encouraging truths for suffering Christians (or really any Christian) in these pages. I do think the book would have benefited from some further editing, as some things were repetitive, and parts felt disjointed. Highly recommended overall.
March 31, 2018
I am grateful for this book. Vaneetha shares her story of suffering that has led to "an abiding joy in God." I worked my way through it slowly, as I found myself needing to reread and mediate on the powerful truths she shares.
January 24, 2023
4.5 stars. This is an excellent book on suffering and the sovereignty of God in suffering from an author who is no stranger to extraordinary hardship and deep pain. It caused me to shift my gaze to Christ and dwell on His goodness and His nearness even in pain. I do have some doctrinal disagreement with parts of the book (the author seems to lean more continuationist), but it was still a Biblically faithful, Scripturally saturated, Gospel centered book. I underlined so much and marked several chapters to come back to for reference and encouragement.
The chapters are short and easily digestible, as they are blog posts/short essays of the author’s. Because of this, certain parts can seem a little repetitive, but that didn’t bother me too much.
The chapters are short and easily digestible, as they are blog posts/short essays of the author’s. Because of this, certain parts can seem a little repetitive, but that didn’t bother me too much.
March 11, 2024
Vaneetha Randall Risner’s occasional blog posts on Desiring God had already earned my respect. She is a woman who knows suffering in most of life’s deepest capacities. From burying a child, an unwanted divorce, raising angry teenagers, and suffering with years of a debilitating disease; she is one familiar with disappointment in God and has been entrusted with such wisdom to speak into suffering.
I slowly worked my way through this book and could not put it down, except to wipe my tears. I’m thankful for the grace God has given Vaneetha and how she has used her suffering to elevate God’s glory. This book was a balm to my aching heart.
I slowly worked my way through this book and could not put it down, except to wipe my tears. I’m thankful for the grace God has given Vaneetha and how she has used her suffering to elevate God’s glory. This book was a balm to my aching heart.
September 5, 2022
This author has an astounding testimony- not just of all the tragic and painful things she has suffered in this life, but the comfort and help and unfailing faithfulness of the great God who has sustained her with his love through it all. She calls us to treasure Christ above all, even above his good gifts that we might be tempted to cling to in this life. I highly recommend it to anyone trying to navigate the disorienting pain of loss and difficult trials.
February 27, 2020
Final score for this book: 39.75/50. If one wrote a (relatively) average book they'd receive 7.5 on each point (37.5). See Template on "Why I am Not A Christian" - Bertrand Russell.
1. Writing: 7
2. Concepts: 8.5
3. Coherence: 8
4. Arguments: 7.5
5. Pleasure: 8.75
I definitely think if I were most reviewers I'd give this book 5 stars. This is a profound, helpful, clear, graceful, God-centered, Gospel preaching, Christ exalting, Spirit driven, joy provoking book. Risner has obviously experienced some really sanctifying suffering and has been blessed with a articulate mind to express it. She does an incredible job detailing many aspects of suffering that is always met with plenty of biblical insight, helpful application points, and heart changing theology. I definitely don't suffer from a long series of physical sufferings, but what surprised me the most is how much suffering can be physical, emotional, AND spiritual. I struggle a lot with doubting God's existence as well as self-pity and, at times, depression and this book was incredibly helpful with understanding the suffering, going to God with the suffering, and finding joy in my savior who overcame it. Due to the reality that sin has affected everyone and therefore everyone suffers, I'd recommend to everybody.
There were a few things that contributed to the rating which were less than satisfactory. The first thing which made this book really difficult to read was that chapters are each like 5 pages and each chapter can be read alone, meaning everything you read before doesn't directly pertain to what you're reading now. At times, it was incredibly boring due to this and not to mention very superfluous - I mean I probably read some sentences upwards of 10 different times. You might think that overall this would aid to your recall of the book, but due to each chapter being so short and left alone, it was hard to really draw out a concept to its fullness. This wasn't always the case, but it happened enough to really decrease my joy in reading when the material itself was simply incredible. For the record, I don't blame Risner, I think these were all taken from blogs. However, it was not super entertaining in book format.
All in all, there are only two real critiques I could mention. First, for certain chapters or concepts, the biblical support seemed lacking and some things weren't that helpful. On the flip side, the best and most helpful points were the ones that had such rich biblical support (e.g., chapter on lament). Secondly, there were multiple times where Risner seemed to express a problem and merely express that it was solved. Risner was very authentic and honest, so I don't doubt that there was a helpful solution, but there was several occasions where she'd express different sufferings or problematic situations and then not really explain HOW they were solved or at least explanations that pertained well to the subject at hand. I could easily say I used to have really intense desires for intimacy that were fulfilled by God, but how does that help someone who's desires aren't being fulfilled? God, no doubt, but my desires for intimacy can be met with being fully known and yet fully justified by the very God you stand sinfully condemned against.
My critiques weren't perpetual and really shouldn't be reasons for not reading. Overall, immensely helpful, probably in the top 3 most helpful books I've read, and wonderfully God-glorifying. What more can be said? I know, read it!
1. Writing: 7
2. Concepts: 8.5
3. Coherence: 8
4. Arguments: 7.5
5. Pleasure: 8.75
I definitely think if I were most reviewers I'd give this book 5 stars. This is a profound, helpful, clear, graceful, God-centered, Gospel preaching, Christ exalting, Spirit driven, joy provoking book. Risner has obviously experienced some really sanctifying suffering and has been blessed with a articulate mind to express it. She does an incredible job detailing many aspects of suffering that is always met with plenty of biblical insight, helpful application points, and heart changing theology. I definitely don't suffer from a long series of physical sufferings, but what surprised me the most is how much suffering can be physical, emotional, AND spiritual. I struggle a lot with doubting God's existence as well as self-pity and, at times, depression and this book was incredibly helpful with understanding the suffering, going to God with the suffering, and finding joy in my savior who overcame it. Due to the reality that sin has affected everyone and therefore everyone suffers, I'd recommend to everybody.
There were a few things that contributed to the rating which were less than satisfactory. The first thing which made this book really difficult to read was that chapters are each like 5 pages and each chapter can be read alone, meaning everything you read before doesn't directly pertain to what you're reading now. At times, it was incredibly boring due to this and not to mention very superfluous - I mean I probably read some sentences upwards of 10 different times. You might think that overall this would aid to your recall of the book, but due to each chapter being so short and left alone, it was hard to really draw out a concept to its fullness. This wasn't always the case, but it happened enough to really decrease my joy in reading when the material itself was simply incredible. For the record, I don't blame Risner, I think these were all taken from blogs. However, it was not super entertaining in book format.
All in all, there are only two real critiques I could mention. First, for certain chapters or concepts, the biblical support seemed lacking and some things weren't that helpful. On the flip side, the best and most helpful points were the ones that had such rich biblical support (e.g., chapter on lament). Secondly, there were multiple times where Risner seemed to express a problem and merely express that it was solved. Risner was very authentic and honest, so I don't doubt that there was a helpful solution, but there was several occasions where she'd express different sufferings or problematic situations and then not really explain HOW they were solved or at least explanations that pertained well to the subject at hand. I could easily say I used to have really intense desires for intimacy that were fulfilled by God, but how does that help someone who's desires aren't being fulfilled? God, no doubt, but my desires for intimacy can be met with being fully known and yet fully justified by the very God you stand sinfully condemned against.
My critiques weren't perpetual and really shouldn't be reasons for not reading. Overall, immensely helpful, probably in the top 3 most helpful books I've read, and wonderfully God-glorifying. What more can be said? I know, read it!
March 5, 2022
Living with a rare birth defect, early childhood illness, and chronic pain, I occasionally read books about how others cope with the physical, spiritual, and social challenges of disability. But I do not do it often. There are not many voices I trust, and a long look down the train tunnel of physical challenges can add, instead of unburdening, heavy freight.
Veneetha Risner’s The Scars that Have Shaped Me: How God Meets us in Suffering is one I would recommend. This is an intensely personal testimony of how God has used illness from an early age to shape her life. It is also the story of a women who literally embodies exceptional challenges she would not have chosen for herself.
This is a prolife book that avoids pity. Risner illustrates that even a disabled life is a life WORTH LIVING, that is formed in God’s image, walking in God’s presence, and dependent on God’s gentle shepherding. Risner presents an authentic struggle that restricted people engage if we are to be matured through our suffering instead of destroyed by it. The field of this engagement is more apparent for those with physical limitations, while the challenges of those physically whole come in other arenas.
The Scars that Have Shaped me took me into the deepest struggles of my soul. As with Risner, I have found that while the source of the difficulty is physical, my deepest battles are in the immaterial soul, not necessarily when the physical pain is the highest, but when the growth of endurance is most painful. Risner writes of despair when life piles on relational, financial, and spiritual struggles – from which the physically disabled are not immune. She asks honest questions of God, some of which I have never discussed with others. And she finds the blessings of illness. Isolation becomes a way to draw near to God alone. Pain forces you to prioritize what you can and cannot do. Insecurity reveals the reality of our complete dependence on God. Our weakness and neediness brings us to a loving Father Who provides, a gentle Shepherd Who guides. Later chapters reference the ministry of Joni Earickson Tada, another trusted source who has buoyed me in my darkest storms. Risner is writing in the same vein. Other books I’ve read by Tada that I particularly recommend include:
When God Weeps: Why Our Sufferings Matter to the Almighty, Joni Eareckson Tada, 1997
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Joni: An Unforgettable Story, Jone Eareckson Tada with Joe Musser, 1976
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
And to these Risner’s recommendation added the following to my to-read list:
Beside Bethesda, Joni Eareckson Tada, 2014
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
This is not an easy, happy-happy-clap-clap book. Rather, it is one that is good, true and powerful, because it focus’ on a God Who is good, true and powerful. Authentic truth is a salve to authentic pain. This is the God you need when you are living on the cusp of your strength every day. I highly recommend The Scars that Shaped Me to people struggling with chronic illness, who are Risner’s stated primary audience. Rather short chapters allow for reading as you have ability. Somewhat repetitive, you won’t notice when reading through a flair up requires reminders, or when you’ve left it on your nightstand for a few weeks. I was weak and heavy laden. Risner led me to soul rest in Him. I hope you will find soul rest, too.
Veneetha Risner’s The Scars that Have Shaped Me: How God Meets us in Suffering is one I would recommend. This is an intensely personal testimony of how God has used illness from an early age to shape her life. It is also the story of a women who literally embodies exceptional challenges she would not have chosen for herself.
This is a prolife book that avoids pity. Risner illustrates that even a disabled life is a life WORTH LIVING, that is formed in God’s image, walking in God’s presence, and dependent on God’s gentle shepherding. Risner presents an authentic struggle that restricted people engage if we are to be matured through our suffering instead of destroyed by it. The field of this engagement is more apparent for those with physical limitations, while the challenges of those physically whole come in other arenas.
The Scars that Have Shaped me took me into the deepest struggles of my soul. As with Risner, I have found that while the source of the difficulty is physical, my deepest battles are in the immaterial soul, not necessarily when the physical pain is the highest, but when the growth of endurance is most painful. Risner writes of despair when life piles on relational, financial, and spiritual struggles – from which the physically disabled are not immune. She asks honest questions of God, some of which I have never discussed with others. And she finds the blessings of illness. Isolation becomes a way to draw near to God alone. Pain forces you to prioritize what you can and cannot do. Insecurity reveals the reality of our complete dependence on God. Our weakness and neediness brings us to a loving Father Who provides, a gentle Shepherd Who guides. Later chapters reference the ministry of Joni Earickson Tada, another trusted source who has buoyed me in my darkest storms. Risner is writing in the same vein. Other books I’ve read by Tada that I particularly recommend include:
When God Weeps: Why Our Sufferings Matter to the Almighty, Joni Eareckson Tada, 1997
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Joni: An Unforgettable Story, Jone Eareckson Tada with Joe Musser, 1976
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
And to these Risner’s recommendation added the following to my to-read list:
Beside Bethesda, Joni Eareckson Tada, 2014
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
This is not an easy, happy-happy-clap-clap book. Rather, it is one that is good, true and powerful, because it focus’ on a God Who is good, true and powerful. Authentic truth is a salve to authentic pain. This is the God you need when you are living on the cusp of your strength every day. I highly recommend The Scars that Shaped Me to people struggling with chronic illness, who are Risner’s stated primary audience. Rather short chapters allow for reading as you have ability. Somewhat repetitive, you won’t notice when reading through a flair up requires reminders, or when you’ve left it on your nightstand for a few weeks. I was weak and heavy laden. Risner led me to soul rest in Him. I hope you will find soul rest, too.
February 29, 2020
raw, eye watering, and powerful.
It was a very heartbreaking yet some how encouraging story of heartache and loss. Vaneetha's life has been a constant struggle with paraplegia and loss. I personally, can't imagine being limited in simple tasks such as feeding myself. while at the same time thinking, is this the last time ill be able to lift my arm. paraplegia, 20 something surgeries as a young teen, a two year old sons death, and a unwanted divorce. her dealings with sorrow and limitations brings a raw truth about the reality of her state
it was encouraging to see that even through all of her sorrows, God preserved her. my favorite chapter was the chapter on sustaining Grace and how God gave her his daily bread, and that was what she needed. "just as he did the Israelites in the desert she writes". what a testimony
however, I felt at times the story seemed to be quite repetitive. maybe this is good thing, but I felt it to be somewhat boring. for this reason I would rate it 3.5. by no means is this a bad book rather very powerful. just simply repetitive. i would recommend especially to someone who is in the mist of suffering.
It was a very heartbreaking yet some how encouraging story of heartache and loss. Vaneetha's life has been a constant struggle with paraplegia and loss. I personally, can't imagine being limited in simple tasks such as feeding myself. while at the same time thinking, is this the last time ill be able to lift my arm. paraplegia, 20 something surgeries as a young teen, a two year old sons death, and a unwanted divorce. her dealings with sorrow and limitations brings a raw truth about the reality of her state
it was encouraging to see that even through all of her sorrows, God preserved her. my favorite chapter was the chapter on sustaining Grace and how God gave her his daily bread, and that was what she needed. "just as he did the Israelites in the desert she writes". what a testimony
however, I felt at times the story seemed to be quite repetitive. maybe this is good thing, but I felt it to be somewhat boring. for this reason I would rate it 3.5. by no means is this a bad book rather very powerful. just simply repetitive. i would recommend especially to someone who is in the mist of suffering.
March 13, 2018
Absolutely one of THE MOST powerful books I’ve read on suffering. I was challenged at every page to see my scars and suffering as gifts that have grown me. I pray I never lose the sense of thankfulness I have for the gift of pain as I have right now finishing this book.
February 27, 2020
A beautiful book. It’s hard to “review” a book like this. She has been through manifest and manifold suffering. Who am I to analyze how she talks about it, especially when it is so raw, honest, and open?
On one hand, that’s how I feel: Who am I, someone who has not suffered anywhere near her depths, to say anything? But on the other hand, I also feel like we as Bible-Christians can “review” books like this, because 1) negatively, if she were to be raw but deny God or demean him, I do believe we as Christians have a right to deny it, even though it is coming from an indescribable place of pain; and because 2) positively, when you read someone’s suffering, they have the ability write in such a way as to move you to empathize and see God more beautifully. And Risner, on both of these accounts, did spectacularly: 1) she wrote with raw and honest accounts of her pain, making me able to sympathize, even if in only a small way, and through it all did not look for pity or blame God; and 2) she did this while showing forth the sovereignty and beauty of her God. She made him look glorious from beginning to end, and uniquely so because of her suffering.
And that second aspect is particularly what makes this book wonderful. You can tell she is a blogger, and so the chapters aren’t fancy. Neither is her writing. And this isn’t anything like is a clear, organized biblical account on suffering and why God allows it. But it a compilation of 31 snippets of honesty coupled with beautiful, doxological theology.
In each of these 31 chapters, she reflects on suffering, but then she also is able to beautifully praise God with deep theology she clearly believes with all her might. And she does this over and over, twisting and turning the jewel of her suffering in the light of God’s control and God’s grace, so that the reader is able to 1) sympathize with her (even if only a little bit), and 2) see the beauty of God’s light shining through her suffering, and apply that same God and same light to my current circumstances (even if they aren’t as deep as hers are).
So, overall, very well done. My sister in Christ (although I don’t know her at all, it does seem fitting to call her that, because I feel I empathize for her like a sister, reading all she’s gone through, knowing she too is a lover and follower of Christ) has done an excellent job being raw and praising our God. It is beautiful from beginning to end. And *this* is what it looks like to believe in a totally good and totally in-control God.
I recommend it to anyone. I know I will pick it up in years to come, especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed or when certain suffering hits.
On one hand, that’s how I feel: Who am I, someone who has not suffered anywhere near her depths, to say anything? But on the other hand, I also feel like we as Bible-Christians can “review” books like this, because 1) negatively, if she were to be raw but deny God or demean him, I do believe we as Christians have a right to deny it, even though it is coming from an indescribable place of pain; and because 2) positively, when you read someone’s suffering, they have the ability write in such a way as to move you to empathize and see God more beautifully. And Risner, on both of these accounts, did spectacularly: 1) she wrote with raw and honest accounts of her pain, making me able to sympathize, even if in only a small way, and through it all did not look for pity or blame God; and 2) she did this while showing forth the sovereignty and beauty of her God. She made him look glorious from beginning to end, and uniquely so because of her suffering.
And that second aspect is particularly what makes this book wonderful. You can tell she is a blogger, and so the chapters aren’t fancy. Neither is her writing. And this isn’t anything like is a clear, organized biblical account on suffering and why God allows it. But it a compilation of 31 snippets of honesty coupled with beautiful, doxological theology.
In each of these 31 chapters, she reflects on suffering, but then she also is able to beautifully praise God with deep theology she clearly believes with all her might. And she does this over and over, twisting and turning the jewel of her suffering in the light of God’s control and God’s grace, so that the reader is able to 1) sympathize with her (even if only a little bit), and 2) see the beauty of God’s light shining through her suffering, and apply that same God and same light to my current circumstances (even if they aren’t as deep as hers are).
So, overall, very well done. My sister in Christ (although I don’t know her at all, it does seem fitting to call her that, because I feel I empathize for her like a sister, reading all she’s gone through, knowing she too is a lover and follower of Christ) has done an excellent job being raw and praising our God. It is beautiful from beginning to end. And *this* is what it looks like to believe in a totally good and totally in-control God.
I recommend it to anyone. I know I will pick it up in years to come, especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed or when certain suffering hits.
March 1, 2019
I’ve read this book 3x so far and it keeps getting better and better. The truths about who God is in the midst of trials and suffering, prayer in the midst of suffering, and suffering well while having an eternal perspective are good things to remind myself of frequently.
April 27, 2021
Oh goodness, these words are wonderful! It really is balm for the soul to see and listen to the wisdom of people who have taken the hard turns and walked the rough paths. Vaneetha speaks with honesty, vulnerability, and a deep faith. For weak and weary Christians like me, this will be a most welcome blessing. It's a tonic for trust in God. Please go read and be filled up!
February 3, 2024
Powerful testimony. Excellent theology of suffering. Definitely recommend.
June 16, 2022
5 for content (dealing with grief and chronic health issues), 3 for format (blog-post style chapters).
August 23, 2020
I "stumbled" onto this book on when I wasn't looking for a book on the subject. However, living with a rare medical condition myself drew me to the book and I couldn't put it down although I read it slowly because it didn't take me long to realize that I had a lot to learn from it. The author herself suffers from a rare medical condition and was real about the difficult impact it had on her life. Life with a rare medical condition(s) has a unique set of challenges and loneliness can be a part of it. The lessons I took away from this book weren't about being ill, however. She was so honest about being human and didn't try to spiritualize suffering as authors sometimes do. Yet in her humanity, she cried out to God and He answered her, as He is faithful to do. Yet not in the way she longed for Him to do, as is often the case. What I took away from this book was not about being illness itself, but about how God can work through the painful, most confusing, most misunderstood (by others) times in our life. It's a book whose genre is not uncommon for authors to choose to delve into, but it's lessons, the manner in which the realty of God being there is unique among Christian authors. I hope to see future writing from this author.
January 22, 2020
If I could, I'd give this 3.5 stars - it's a little too "meh" for 4 stars but has a few gems that make it worth more than 3. At the beginning, the author says that the book doesn't need to be read front to back, but since I listened to an audio book, I didn't have much choice. I guess the chapters were originally written as separate blog posts, because there was quite a bit of redundancy that I don't think would have been present otherwise. This book is a good choice if you haven't read other books on suffering, but there are better ones out there. Still, I don't want to be too harsh - she is living/has lived through things that I am thankful I have not, has learned from them, approaches the subject from a Scriptural standpoint, and uses theology that is sound.
September 20, 2018
When Vaneetha Rendall Risner was a baby in India, she contracted polio before her inoculation. The doctor had never seen a case of polio before, misdiagnosed it, and prescribed a wrong treatment which left Vaneetha paralyzed. Vaneetha had twenty-one operations from age two to thirteen. She spent much of her young life in the hospital and felt safe there and at home, but was “openly picked on at school.”
She wanted “nothing to do with God because he had allowed all this to happen,” but when she was a teenager, He drew her to Himself.
Vaneetha’s trials weren’t over, though. After her first daughter was born, she had three miscarriages. Her son was born with a heart defect which surgery corrected, but a doctor’s mistake led to her baby’s death at the age of two. Then she contracted post-polio syndrome, which causes “increasing pain and weakness, which could potentially result in quadriplegia.” There is no cure. Then her husband left her.
The magnitude of any of one of those trials weighs heavy, but all of them together are crushing. How does a person cope with all of that?
Vaneetha tells her story in short order in The Scars That Have Shaped Me: How God Meets Us in Suffering and then spends the rest of the book sharing what God has taught her through her trials. Her words, like Joni Eareckson Tada’s, carry weight because they are based on Scripture and they’ve been tried in the trenches.
It’s hard to summarize a book like this, so I’ll just share a few quotes:
One concept she brought out that what we think of as the lowest points of our lives are actually the highest, from God’s viewpoint, because that’s often where the most change and growth occurs in our lives. Another concept she described was that we often feel our prayers have not been answered when God doesn’t deliver us out of a situation, but His grace sustaining us through a trial is just as much an evidence of His power as a miraculous deliverance.
Like most of us, I would rather learn from others about suffering than have to go through it myself. But some portion of suffering is allotted to all of us, and I am so thankful for a godly example like Vaneetha’s. Much of what she said spoke to my heart even though my trials have been different.
She wanted “nothing to do with God because he had allowed all this to happen,” but when she was a teenager, He drew her to Himself.
Vaneetha’s trials weren’t over, though. After her first daughter was born, she had three miscarriages. Her son was born with a heart defect which surgery corrected, but a doctor’s mistake led to her baby’s death at the age of two. Then she contracted post-polio syndrome, which causes “increasing pain and weakness, which could potentially result in quadriplegia.” There is no cure. Then her husband left her.
The magnitude of any of one of those trials weighs heavy, but all of them together are crushing. How does a person cope with all of that?
Vaneetha tells her story in short order in The Scars That Have Shaped Me: How God Meets Us in Suffering and then spends the rest of the book sharing what God has taught her through her trials. Her words, like Joni Eareckson Tada’s, carry weight because they are based on Scripture and they’ve been tried in the trenches.
It’s hard to summarize a book like this, so I’ll just share a few quotes:
Our faith is not a facade we erect to convince ourselves and others that pain doesn’t hurt—it is an oak tree that can withstand the storms of doubt and pain in our lives, and grow stronger through them.
I’ve often been devastated when he tells me no, but as I submit to his will in those situations—even with disappointment and tears—he assures me he’s working for my good. I see only part of the picture. He has a purpose in his denials. The Father said no to the Son [in Gethsemane]. And that no brought about the greatest good in all of history. God is not capricious. If he says no to our requests, he has a reason—perhaps ten thousand. We may never know the reasons in this life, but one day we’ll see them all. For now, we must trust that his refusals are always his mercies to us (emphasis mine).
In this life, I may never see how God is using my trials. But one day I will be grateful for them. All I can do now is trust that he who made the lame walk and the blind see, who died on a cross so I could spend eternity with him, is going to do the very best thing for me.
This is the most precious answer God can give us: wait. It makes us cling to him rather than to an outcome. God knows what I need; I do not. He sees the future; I cannot. His perspective is eternal; mine is not. He will give me what is best for me when it is best for me (emphases mine).
Replacing “what if ” with “even if ” in our mental vocabulary is one of the most liberating exchanges we can ever make. We trade our irrational fears of an uncertain future for the loving assurance of an unchanging God. We see that even if the very worst happens, God will carry us. He will still be good. And he will never leave us.
So what do we do when we feel drained and empty? When no one understands our suffering and no one seems to care? When we feel discouraged and tired and unbearably lonely? Read the Bible and pray. Read the Bible even when it feels like eating cardboard. And pray even when it feels like talking to a wall. Does it sound simple? It is. Does it also sound exceedingly hard? It is that as well. But reading the Bible and praying is the only way I have ever found out of my grief. There are no shortcuts to healing.
When I say read, I don’t mean just reading words for a specific amount of time. I mean meditating on them. Writing down what God is saying to me. Asking God to reveal himself to me. Believing God uses Scripture to teach and to comfort me. To teach me wonderful things in his law (Ps. 119:18). To comfort me with his promises (Ps. 119:76). Reading this way changes cardboard into manna. I echo Jeremiah who said, “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart” ( Jer. 15:16).
One concept she brought out that what we think of as the lowest points of our lives are actually the highest, from God’s viewpoint, because that’s often where the most change and growth occurs in our lives. Another concept she described was that we often feel our prayers have not been answered when God doesn’t deliver us out of a situation, but His grace sustaining us through a trial is just as much an evidence of His power as a miraculous deliverance.
In waiting for the huge, monumental deliverance—the kind where I can put my issue to bed and never have to pray about it again—I’ve overlooked the grace that keeps drawing me to him. The prayers that may appear unanswered, but actually are fulfilled in ways that keep me dependent, tethered, needy.
Like most of us, I would rather learn from others about suffering than have to go through it myself. But some portion of suffering is allotted to all of us, and I am so thankful for a godly example like Vaneetha’s. Much of what she said spoke to my heart even though my trials have been different.
January 31, 2021
Im a pretty tough audience perhaps because I tend to find a lot of Christian books, especially about suffering, trite & annoying. So i feel really glad to have found & read this :) Beautiful. Sincere. I loved it. One very helpful aspect was the short chapters; readable when youre in the thick of it.
December 15, 2017
This book has such rich truths. It is a compilation of essays so there is some repetition which was a little distracting, but the material, particularly the second half, is so good.
November 8, 2023
had some helpful thoughts. The chapters "Talking Myself Through Suffering," "Ever on Display," and "Sustaining Grace" stood out
February 3, 2021
”Those of us with scars should wear them like jewels, treasured reminders of what we’ve endured. It’s okay to show our imperfections. It is even courageous. And perhaps we’ll discover the beauty in our scars.”
A misdiagnosis leaving her paralyzed as an infant.
Twenty one surgeries by the age of thirteen.
A limp that left her bullied and isolated.
Three miscarriages.
A two-month old son's death caused by a doctor's mistake.
Limited energy reserves and the challenges of post-polio syndrome.
An unwanted divorce.
Any one of these things would be enough to make me want to curl up into a ball and beg the Lord to take me home, but Vaneetha Rendall Risner has endured all these things and continues to praise God in the midst of her suffering.
This is a book that everyone needs to read at least once because suffering will come for all of us, and the truths in this book are footholds to cling to when waves throw us against the Rock of Ages. I read this book towards the tail end of a global pandemic and my own personal bout with illness. During this awkward in-between period of being better but not quite well, Vaneetha's book has been such a blessing to me. It's filled with Scripture but also deeply personal. She encourages and bolsters her readers but is raw and honest as she address the pain and struggle of suffering. She tells her readers, "I have been there, but God has seen me through the storm" and shows them the way back to the cross. Her example of joy and hope in the midst of unimaginable affliction is such an encouragement because if God can preserve and sustain her through all that, I know He can and is doing the same for me.
Each chapter is short and can stand on its own, which is especially helpful because it can be hard to read or process a ton of information when you're already going through a lot. In the grand scheme of things, this is a quick read but so, so good. Vaneetha is economic in her use of words made me, and I found myself wanting to highlight everything because each page was filled with nuggets of wisdom and insight.
*How I read this book
This is definitely a book I will come back to. It sits with readers in their tragedy while remaining fixed on Biblical truth. This could easily have devolved into an autobiographical book highlighting Vaneetha's experiences and exalting her endurance, but instead she spends most of the book pointing to Jesus. This isn't a book filled with trite advice or platitudes. There are no rose-colored sermons on God's sovereignty in the midst suffering. Vaneetha speaks of suffering with the kind of gut-wrenching emotion that can only come from personal experience. Like the lamenting psalmists, she pours her heart, her messy emotions, her anguished sobs out onto the page, but after the tears come truth, and after the truth come praise. She shows us how to fight for joy in the midst of affliction by the example of her life. She is a lone figure, often with tears in her eyes, standing firmly grounded in God's character and promises, pointing the weary to Christ.
”As I look back over my life, those simple, lighthearted days are not the ones for which I’m most grateful. I’m most grateful for the days when I’ve had to fight for faith. The days I’ve called out to God in desperation and pain. The days I have barely survived, struggled to make it through, wondered if life was worth it, after all. The days that have driven me to my knees. These have molded my character, grown my dependence, and made me see Jesus.”
October 12, 2022
I wanted to read this book slowly to allow time to digest it. However, there were times I just couldn’t put it down. The biggest take away for me: “You never hear anyone in the Bible complaining about the Red Sea… Everyone loves the grace that delivers us. But the Israelites, like us, were dissatisfied with daily manna. We all complain about the grace that merely sustains us.” She goes on to discuss delivering grace and sustaining grace and the miracle that both are. “But it is in the asking, even begging, for deliverance, and in the subsequent waiting for it, that we get sustaining grace . . . And this grace is accompanied by the intimate presence of the living God.” This isn’t new information for me. But the author presented it in a way that has really exhorted me. It hit me in such a way that I keep coming back to it in my thoughts and sharing it with others as I process. And isn’t that the mark of a good book?
March 10, 2021
This deserves 5 stars because of the depth of suffering of this author and her ability to write about it in a way that speaks to others, whether you have suffered great or little. She deserves to be heard because of her first-hand knowledge. She has found a place that I want to be, the place where instead of “What if...nothing ever gets better?” I can say “Even if...God is still good.” And the place where I can rejoice that God loved me enough not to rescue me because I needed to know Him more than I needed rescue. I think these have to be learned over and over again, but hopefully quicker to learn each time. Read this if you’ve suffered or know others who have or will (that means everyone!).
January 18, 2025
This book is incredible! I've read A LOT of books on suffering and chronic illness, and this one is incredible. This is the handbook I will now be gifting frequently. This book is personal in tone, filled with stories making it easy to read, and Biblically sound, while also being practical and nuanced concerning the struggles of a long term health condition. Highly recommend!
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