Unrequited Love: On Stalking and Being Stalked a story of obsessive passion

by Gregory Dart

"She won't stop writing to me - e-mails, letters, text messages, cards. But it's not merely because I hardly know her that I no longer reply. Sometimes her complaints seem so plausible that I wonder if I am not the one to blame. At others, it is the pure flame of her hatred that mesmerizes me - and it is then that I begin to feel afraid." "Unrequited Love" is the story of a London University lecturer's unwilling encounter with the spectre of obsession. Not until he himself fell victim to the charms of a virtual stranger did he begin to understand the psyche of his own hopelessly impassioned admirer. Dating, as Gregory Dart finds, has become a dangerous game. Whatever happened to the good old rules of courtship? Are we all potential stalkers now?

Genres: Nonfiction

160 pages, Paperback

First published April 7, 2003

Reviews

[Samuel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perhaps it was rather stalkerish of me to read this, but then he is my tutor and I confess that I couldn't resist.

It begins as a relatively absorbing story of Dart's personal experience with a PhD student in his field (but not at his university) who, over the course of a year, became obsessively infatuated with him. However, when he admitted that he didn't feel quite the same way, she became bitterly resentful of him, accusing him of leading her on and deliberately hurting her feelings. A string of persistent and aggressive texts and emails followed as Lucy attempted to fill Dart with guilt and turn his colleagues against him. However, this strand of the book is then just abruptly abandoned, left hanging without a real end, and instead Greg takes us on some academic diversions into the subjects of stalking and unrequited love as found in literature, from Dante to Stendhal to Poe. There are some lovely wise aphorisms throughout that wouldn't look out of place in a book by Alain de Botton.

So, overall, I'm glad I read it and satisfied that niggling curiosity about this mysterious little book. I shan't criticise it too much though since he is my tutor after all and good grief, what if he's reading this?!

I know for a fact he isn't though, 'cause I'm watching him through his office window...

[Jasmine · Rating 3 out of 5]

So I don't honestly have any idea where I got this book, or in fact why I got this book. it looks very old and the pages are all yellow, and the subtitle is weird... and in fact the goodreads title is slightly incorrect I will fix it when I finish this review if I remember.

This is a book about stalking. and we know that either you've been stalked or you know someone who's been stalked and that stalking is super super creepy. RIGHT? right? this book covers everything from the annoying texting to the actual stalking and it does it through the eyes of someone who has clearly read too many books. It's a bit he did it to her, she did it to me, I did it to this other chick, but it's interesting.

I honestly don't know if it's worth it to go out there and find it, it depends how available it is, but if you happen upon it on a park bench it's worth picking up.

[Kaplumbağa Felsefecisi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kovalamak ve kovalanmak üzerine alt başlığı ile yayınlanmış bir kitap. Hepimiz için en güzel olanı bizim yaşadığımı aşk; en korkunç olanı ise bizim bitirdiğimiz ilişkidir. Aşkın tamamen kişisel, o iki kişilik asla olmayan yapısıyla incelemiştir yazar. Doğrusu da budur sanki!
Kişiselleştirdiğimiz ilgi, odak noktası, sempati ve duygular bize derin fragmanlar bırakır. Bizde onların seyriyle başka bir şey görmeme noktasına geliriz. Seyirlik olan kendimizizdir aslında, yazar da o seyre kendinden başlayarak başlamış anlatmaya. Yormayan, kolay anlatımı olan bir kitaptı.

[Robert Day · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet little book that's says a lot and says little - both at the same time. It's a story and a history spun around nothing much more than an anecdote. He had a stalker and then he stalked and he learned something about himself in the process of experiencing these things.

Incredibly easy to read. The words flow like velvet. Not, of course, that velvet flows as such, but if water were velvet or velvet were water then they would flow in much the same way that the prose in this book does.

The author is obviously learned. I wonder what else he's written.

Read if you want a sweet little distraction for a few hours.

[Jade17 · Rating 1 out of 5]

The story of the alleged 'stalking' itself was interesting but it goes downhill from there and we're still nowhere half of the book.

[Esra · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Her şeyi meta ola­rak algılayan sistem, bize “Ortada alınmaya müsait bir şey var­sa, o orada elde edilmek için bulunmaktadır” öğretisini benimsetmiştir. Hepimiz, giderek daha çok egemenliği altına girmek­teyiz bu sahip olma rüyasının. Belki de bu sebepten, günümüz­de karşılıklı aşk yaşayan sevgililer böylesine vefasız ve ayran gönüllü; ve aşklarına karşılık bulamayan insanlar da böylesine kızgın oluyorlar."

[Robbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had to power through this one. It’s not exactly a novel but I did enjoy the bits of information and historical facts.

[Maj · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Not the object only, but also the obstacle, helps define the desire.”

[Jamie Emerson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, engaging, wide-ranging and gripping.

[Chris Waterford · Rating 2 out of 5]

This started out as a memoir of sorts and then went on to be part of a research project which was a lot less interesting.
5.5/10

[Sugandha Garg · Rating 1 out of 5]

this book hardly has any story about main protagonists, this is more about the type and kinds and all sorts of stalkers.the books that have been written on stalking. well this is the idea i got from reading first 40 odd pages. i so wanted to finish it considering it is a small book but could not.. sigh#sad#fornothavingfinishit.

[Karl · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at 10%

For me a DNF is like the FU* equavalent to books. If books were obsessed girls they would say "WTF? Why would you DNF me? I dont deserve this!"




Maybe at some time I would try to read this again. Maybe.

[Thabs · Rating 2 out of 5]

It reads as a collection of essays pertaining to the topic stated in the book's title sprinkled with a series of the author's personal anecdotes. From an literary standpoint, it was rather thought - provoking. It could have been structured better - less scattered in its references.