Is It a Lost Cause?: Having the Heart of God for the Church's Children

by Marva J. Dawn

How can we help the church's children not to make the same choices as the children of the dominant culture around them concerning their sexuality, their use of money and time, their attitudes toward work and life? Is it still possible in our post-Christian, post-modern society to raise children with Christian faith and moral character? In this sensitive and astute work, Marva Dawn insists that forming genuinely Christian children is not a lost cause if congregations, pastors, and parents wake up to the present crisis of a society at odds with the gospel and to the crucial need for deliberate formative efforts and intensive discipleship in both home and Church. Drawing on thirty years of experience working with young people in churches and schools, convocations and camps, Dawn examines some of the forces in our culture that harm our children's spiritual development and suggests biblically centered parenting and mentoring habits that are necessary for producing godly and faith-full children today.

Genres: Theology, Christianity, Childrens, Christian, Christian Living, Education

264 pages, Paperback

First published September 19, 1997

About the author

Marva J. Dawn is an American Christian theologian, author, musician and educator, associated with the parachurch organization "Christians Equipped for Ministry" in Vancouver, Washington. She also serves as Teaching Fellow in Spiritual Theology at Regent College in Vancouver, British Columbia. Dawn is generally perceived as a Lutheran evangelical.

Reviews

[Matthijs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vorming van kinderen tot navolgers van Christus in een post-christelijke maatschappij

Is de christelijke gemeenschap nog in staat om kinderen te vormen als navolgers van Christus? Of is de invloed van de postchristelijke maatschappij op het denken en handelen van de kinderen, die bij de christelijke gemeenschap horen, te sterk?

Marva J. Dawn, theologe, auteur en spreekster, maakt zich grote zorgen over de geloofsopvoeding. Niet alleen omdat de geloofsopvoeding in een postchristelijke maatschappij niet zo gemakkelijk is. Ze maakt zich vooral zorgen, omdat ouders de geloofsopvoeding verwaarlozen en de vorming van hun kinderen aan de maatschappij overlaten, waardoor ze niet de christelijke waarden en normen meekrijgen. Daarom schreef ze het boek Is It a Lost Cause? voor ouders en de gemeenschap, zodat zij leren het belang hiervan in te zien. Ze wil waarschuwen, alternatieven aanreiken en het gesprek op gang brengen.

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Machten en wereldbeheersers
Dawn kon door lichamelijke beperkingen zelf geen kinderen krijgen, maar is juist daardoor erg begaan met de kinderen van de christelijke gemeenschap. Ze trekt veel met jongeren op, geeft cursussen aan jongeren en spreekt hen op bijeenkomsten toe. Zij promoveerde op het werk van de Franse socioloog Jacques Ellul. Van hem heeft ze geleerd dat een christelijke opvoeding ook inhoudt, dat je je kinderen leert niet onder de invloed te laten komen van de ‘machten en wereldbeheersers’ (Efeze 6:12).

Geschenk
Kinderen zijn een geschenk van God. Daarom zijn ouders aan God verplicht de kinderen een goede, christelijke opvoeding te geven, waarbij de normen en waarden gestempeld zijn door de Bijbelse normen en waarden en niet door de opvattingen van wat in onze cultuur gebruikelijk is.

Gemeenschap
Ouders staan er niet alleen voor. Zij hebben de christelijke gemeenschap om zich heen. Kinderen maken onderdeel van die gemeenschap uit. De opvoeding en de vorming van kinderen tot navolgers van Jezus is een taak voor heel de gemeenschap. Het is de ervaring van Dawn dat kinderen het beste worden gevormd door de liturgie van de eredienst en door een christelijke gemeenschap die ook echt een gemeenschap is. In die gemeenschap hebben kinderen een eigen plaats, maar worden ze ook gevormd en krijgen ze bagage voor hun levensreis mee.

Geestelijke bagage
Elk hoofdstuk wordt daarom voorafgegaan door een lied, waarin iets verwoord wordt van wat voor de vorming en geloofsopvoeding van kinderen van groot belang is. Het is haar eigen ervaring dat liederen een enorm vormend effect hebben. Zij vindt het daarom van groot belang dat kinderen liederen aangeleerd krijgen als geestelijke bagage.

Post-christelijke tijd
Deze tijd is volgens Dawn niet de makkelijkste tijd om kinderen op te voeden: we leven in een post-christelijke tijd. De maatschappij leert de kinderen geen christelijke waarden en normen meer aan. De normen en waarden van deze maatschappij staan in veel gevallen juist haaks op deze maatschappij.

Media
Bezorgd is Dawn over de invloed van televisie en internet. Ze snapt niet waarom ouders hun kinderen afschepen met wat ze op televisie te zien krijgen in plaats van zelf tijd en energie te steken in het aanleren van goede, christelijke waarden en normen:

Door de televisie worden kinderen overspoeld met informatie. Met die informatie kunnen ze heel weinig. Daardoor ontwikkelen kinderen een passiviteit. Ze noemt dit in navolging van Neil Postman de Low Information-Action Ratio (L.I.A.R. = leugenaar). Deze passiviteit is dodelijk voor het engagement van kinderen op de nood van deze wereld. Deze passiviteit is ook dodelijk voor het geloof van Gods betrokkenheid op deze wereld.
In plaats van de kinderen tv te laten kijken, is het beter om hen de waarde van verhalen te leren ontdekken. Of om hen mee te nemen in de sociale betrokkenheid op mensen die minder hebben. Tegenover de overkill aan informatie van de media zou de christelijke gemeenschap de kinderen levenswijsheid moeten aanleren.
De tv leert kinderen om consumenten te zijn. Daardoor leren ze dat ze wat ze hebben willen gelijk kunnen krijgen. Samen met de welvaart die er is, leren ze niet meer te wachten op iets wat van waarde is. Doordat ze niet meer kunnen wachten en sparen, zijn ze niet goed in volharding en geven ze bij het minste of geringste op. Daardoor leren ze ook niet, dat lijden en ascese wezenlijke onderdelen van het leven zijn.
Door tv en internet leren christelijke kinderen waarden en normen, die niet streven bij de christelijke ethiek. Ze leren dat geweld gewoon is. Ze leren niet dat trots en egoïsme verderfelijke eigenschappen zijn. Ze leren dat seks verkrijgbaar zou moeten zijn op het moment dat je er behoefte aan hebt.

De christelijke gemeenschap is geroepen om in deze wereld een andersoortige gemeenschap te zijn, die Jezus als model heeft. Om de kinderen tot voorbeeld te zijn dienen alle leden van de gemeenschap te leven uit die normen en waarden.

Zuigkracht
De zuigkracht van deze wereld is sterk. Dat komt, omdat de wereld waarin wij leven, ook probeert om het verlangen dat er is naar verdieping, naar leven, naar ervaring ook wil vervullen, maar dan zonder een leven met God. In navolging van C.S. Lewis noemt ze dat Sehnsucht. De machten en wereldbeheersers willen via die Sehnsucht invloed uitoefenen op ons denken, onze ervaring, op ons handelen. Dat doen ze door een snelle bevrediging van die Sehnsucht te beloven. Daarmee gaan ze de concurrentie aan met God.

Hart van God
De regels die God gegeven heeft zij er echter niet voor niets. Ze zijn er ter bescherming. Ze zijn er om werkelijk leven te vinden. In Hem. De christelijke gemeenschap moet het hart van God hebben voor kinderen. Wanneer men dat alleen met de mond belijdt en dat geen handen en voeten geeft in de liturgie, in de gemeenschap en de opvoeding zijn de kinderen verloren voor de kerk. Om de kinderen te bewaren bij Christus wordt er inspanning gevraagd van ouders en de gehele gemeenschap:

Door de machten en wereldbeheersers en hun verleidelijke trucjes te ontmaskeren.
Door op tijd ‘nee’ te zeggen tegen media, series, films en andere invloeden wanneer de invloed te schadelijk is.
Door de gemeenschap een gemeenschap van liefde, vriendschap, verantwoordelijkheid en betrokkenheid te laten zijn.
Door de ene, ware God (Vader, Zoon en Heilige Geest) te dienen in de eredienst
Door als gemeenschap afstand te doen van alle afgoderij, die het vervullen van de Sehnsucht buiten God om belooft.
Door als ouders en gemeenschap zich te laten vormen door Christus, door Gods Woord.

[Jeremy Manuel · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of the book may have you thinking that it is about how to do activities or programs in the church better, but it isn’t. The aim of Is it a Lost Cause? is much deeper and looks to strike at the heart of the matter rather than the outward trappings. Dawn’s center of focus rests on the idea of those who claim to be following and claiming Christ to be an alternative parallel society to the “principalities and power” of the world. While that focus is not necessarily one I would disagree with, they are rather vague ideas. What does an alternative parallel society look like? It is often in these details that I find myself disagreeing with Dawn.

Let’s start with what I do agree with. It is always so easy to point out the disagreements, but I’d rather start with the focus on what I do agree with her about. The main idea that I agree with is the church functioning as a community that is focused on Christ. What does that look like? One of the first principles that Dawn gives on this matter is that we must reject the improper focus on individualism. If you have a group of people all focused on themselves then a true community is never able to be established. Our faith is not meant to be a solo path, but I agree with Dawn that many people seem to try to do it alone or at least within their own family unit. Her call is that we be connected as community and for that community to be involved with the development of each other and of children, even if they are not your own.

Now this commitment brings out a number of challenges that Dawn highlights. Are we willing to wrestle as a community with texts of scripture that challenge us? Are we willing to give and receive admonishment from those around us in the community? Are we willing to have people in our community that we disagree with and can practice humility and reconciliation? Are we willing to have people in our community that reflects the diversity of our local makeup? Is the community involved in sharing their gifts and talents in the life of the congregation and the life of the local area for Christ’s sake? Are the leaders equipping and challenging people to be willing to go towards service instead of being served?

Currently, community has become somewhat of a buzzword, but I think that Dawn does a good job of presenting the real challenges and difficulties that real community entails. It is no completely idealistic view of community and how easy it is, rather it is a look that says real community takes work, but it is a work that is worth it. These aspects of Is it a Lost Cause? are challenging, but they are a challenge that I feel we need to face.

Now while developing such a community is indeed part of this parallel or alternative society, she believes that there are other challenges that we face from what is in our culture. These challenges are the ideas of avoiding suffering, materialism, focus on entertainment, information overload, violence and sexuality. These are all topics that I feel need to be addressed, but I often found myself at odds with her practical suggestions on how to face these challenges.

With that said, it is probably time to get into some of the problems of I have with Dawn’s book. I guess one thing that bothers me about this is that she puts a lot of focus on education and behavior. She tends to propose a view that says if we teach and model certain things to our children and do not expose them to negative influences in culture that we will have children that follow in the faith. While I don’t believe this is a bad thing, I don’t know if it is true. Perhaps it is just because I do not come from a Christian family that I view things this way. My commitment to following God and serving Him isn’t based off of my education growing up or my avoiding certain influences.

I guess I feel that a lot of the focus ended up on behavior, and to me the danger there is religiousness. An ability to look very good and moral, but not necessarily being connected to God or really seeking after Him. I got that vibe from the two or three times where Dawn mentions that she doesn’t own a television and that nothing would change her mind. I’m okay with that being the position she has, but she mentions it a good number of times and while she tries to say it is okay if one is different, the time she talks about the topic doesn’t really leave you the idea that she is okay with people watching TV, because she finds nothing worth watching on it. While I do believe behavior is an aspect of our walk with Christ, I don’t think it is the only one, after all we can’t behave our way into the Kingdom of God.

Beyond this I just found some of her practical solutions as not really addressing the issue at hand. Like in the chapter on consumerism she talks about how she doesn’t think that Christians should teach their children about Santa Claus and commercialize when we celebrate Christ’s birthday. I can understand these concerns, but her solutions just didn’t seem to make much sense to me. One suggestion was to replace Santa Claus with the Christ Child as the one who delivers gifts. I think I’d rather keep Santa than turn the Christ Child into some gift delivering persona. It just seems like a reduction and false use of Christ.

The other idea she presented regarding getting rid of the commercialism of Christmas was to give gifts on alternate holidays, like Epiphany or the Festival of St. Nicholas. To me changing the date really doesn’t matter, you’re doing it to replace giving gifts on Christmas and it is therefore still Christmas that results in the exchanging of gifts. This is not to say she doesn’t give some good options, but that they are just very hit or miss.

Another aspect of the book that doesn’t set well with me is that Dawn has a decided anti-technology streak. Again she tries to say that she doesn’t view technology as a negative, but often that is said after she has a number of paragraphs on the negatives of technology. She may be trying to be unbiased, but those attempts just don’t ring true to me. I don’t see how someone can call things a waste of time and full of filth and truly say that she doesn’t view it as inherently bad and something that should be completely avoided.

I guess what gets me is why she hits on technology so hard. I somewhat understand it, but at the same time the things she presents as alternatives are not necessarily inherently good either. I’m sure that there are many books that are full of things that are not family friendly. Reading is also a very anti-social activity often. I say that as one who grew up loving to read and still does. It may be an act that uses and develops intelligence more than TV, but even reading has its negatives. Sports and the even the arts can become selfish ventures where it is more about becoming the best at the expense of others rather than fostering true community. To simply label these things as good and technology like TVs and computers bad seems neither fair nor very accurate. I honestly wonder what she thinks about such things now, this book was written in 1997, and in the past 15 years things have only progressed with technology.

Lastly, I guess I just get a vibe of the old times were better from the book. Or maybe if it isn’t that, it is the idea that Dawn had the ideal upbringing as a child and that all parents should follow that example. I don’t think that she believes this possible, but I felt that it was there at times. There just seems to be the idea that if we didn’t have TV or computers, or things like that then there would be more children who grow up to become Christian. There are negatives to the introduction of new technologies, of that I have no doubt, but I do feel that there are positives as well. Is technology or television a replacement for parenting? No, but neither is it something to be avoided at all costs either. I imagine that there were those who didn’t follow the Christian faith even before television, and that there will continue to be those who do not as well.

So these are my final thoughts on Is It a Lost Cause? As I said at the beginning I thought the book had good principles and challenging thoughts, but it just rubbed me the wrong way in places. I won’t say that I enjoyed reading the book. However, I will say that it is the kind of book that needs to be read even if it isn’t enjoyable. It will probably challenge you at least on one level if not more. I don’t always think that Dawn represents the subject she tackles completely unbiased or always at the right angle, but I would say that it seems her heart is definitely in the right place.

[G. Clay · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

This book did not cover what I hoped, but that does not mean Dawn failed to produce what she intended.

Theological and doctrinal differences aside, Dawn presented a thorough case for redeeming our children from the influences of a sinful world. Though written in a scholarly fashion, the book remained accessible. Dawn backed most of her recommendations with research and Scripture.

The most distracting aspect of this book for me was Dawn's contradictory position. She presented as a scholar, and a mainline Protestant Christian. As a scholar, she carefully constructed her language, avoiding, for example, to refer to the Old Testament as such. As a historic/mainline Protestant, Dawn referred to Scripture but attempted to distance herself from fundamentalist positions.

One can be a scholar and a mainline Protestant. One can even be a scholar and a "fundamentalist," if that simply means believing in the inerrancy of Scripture. Yet, Dawn's presentation of her positions as a scholar and mainline Protestant undercut each other. Perhaps the most blatant example of this was her position on homosexuality. She argued that the practice of homosexual behavior cannot be justified in the light of Scripture. If, however, the inerrancy of Scripture is an open debate, then we have no business drawing such conclusions about any behavior.

I found myself agreeing with much of this book, but I also found myself shaking my head in frustration because of the internal contradictions.

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most important books out there for anyone involved in the discipleship of children. It's not a quick read, but it is worth it.

[Jasonlylescampbell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Random learning and ideas generated from reading (as Father):

When teaching anatomy (or perhaps as parrallel lessons) teach symbolic anatomy - Hand signfies action; forehead signifies thinking (reference to understanding Duet 6:8), etc.

The art of parenting (or farming): "The finest farmers [parents] are masters of form. They must know how to do one thing while remaining mindful of many. They must bring many patterns into harmony. They must understand how diversity may be comprehended within unity. They must know how to deal with the unforeseen. And these are all characteristics of the finest poets." (Wendell Berry)

Main Tools of the craft/art of parenting are: time; rituals like Sabbath keeping; conversation; storytelling; singing together ... (p. 120-123)

In the second part she addresses the main idols of our culture:

Worship of ease and convenience - Reality, the world is full of suffering and we must sacrifice for the sake of righteousness whether a difficult moral decision or the daily stuff of family life: giving up leisure time to do chores, clean house, cook dinner, etc.

Materialism/Consumerism - Holiday or Holy day - see p. 151 for good Advent candle and singing ritual idea (making from nails and a board a candle a day with bigger ones for the Sundays in advent) and lighted them all each night while singing hymns ... Also, the importance of teaching stewartship (100% belongs to God and we are in charge of his gifts).

Media - Media Consumption six dangers - 1)Wastes time; 2) stifles imagination; 3) actually inhibits the development of the brain (because of lack of verbal output, the constant input fails to bridge the hemispheres of the brain and decreases the proliferation of the dendrites). She also comments that we are mostly unaware of the problem because it is hidden by the yearly dumbing down of school tests (Jane Healy compares reading tests from 64 and 82 and show how vastly different they are. In order to find one comparable to the 4th grade reading test from 1964 she had to compare it to a 1988 advanced 9th grade reading test!!)

4) Postman's ideas that it causes passivity and takes away motivation to think ... "Sesame Street undermines what the traditional idea of schooling represents. Whereas a classroom is a place of social interaction, the space in front of a television is a private preserve. Whereas in a classroom, one may ask a teacher questions, one can ask nothing of a television screen. Whereas school is centered on the development of language, television demands attention to images. Whereas attending school is a legal requirment, watching television is an act of choice. Whereas in school, one fails to attend to the teacher at the risk of punishment, no penalties exist for failing to attend to the television screen. Whereas to behave oneself in school means to observe rules of public decorum, television watching requires no such observances, has no concept of public decorum. Whereas in a classroom, fun is never more than a means to an end, on television it is the end in itself." (Neil Postman)

5)constant ads encourage greed and materialism

6) muddled our perception of reality - news for instance fosters a catastrophic, fragmentary, and inadequate view of the world.

The next one she calls L.I.A.R - Low-Information-Action-Ratio (from Neil Postman). We are constantly given an overwhelming amount of information that we are, in no way, expected to act upon. There is much you can immediatly imagine to consider with this (both for your own life as an American and for your children). Let me just quote one section on combating this idol through prayer:

"prayer bestows upon action its greatest authenticity. It rescues action from activism, and it rescues the individual from bewilderment and despair in his action. It prevents his being engulfed in panic when action fails, and from being drawn into activism, when he is incited to more and more activity in pursuit of success, to the point of losing himself. Prayer, because it is the warrent, the expression of my finitude, always teaches me that I must be more than my action. . . . It is prayer which is the qualifying factor, the significance, the foundation of the truth of the action." (Jacques Ellul from Prayer and the Modern Man)

Violence - media has corrupted our own basic habits of speech - ie nasty comebacks, discoureous remarks, name-calling, etc. (she has more to say ... )

Sexuality - She strongly urges parents and churches to talk with their children about sexuality. She gives church youth conferences on the biblical perspectives on this topic and regularly hears that no one (no one) has ever talked to them any of this.

[Eric Chappell · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first Marva Dawn book was such a rewarding experience.

This book is about raising children in the current culture. We live in a weary, thirsty, dark world that tries to fulfill our restless longing, what C.S. Lewis called Sehnsucht (Joy), by either satisfying it through counterfeits or repressing and ignoring it. Both Lewis and Dawn invite us into the longing for another world for which we were made. How does that heady truth connect to parenting and discipling children in a postmodern world where God, authority, and truth are all despised? The first part of the book is Dawn's positive argument on how God's heart revealed in Scripture, Community, and Worship changes our hearts. The second half of the book involves Dawn's negative critique (with positive application) of our cultural idols of ease, materialism, entertainment, violence, and misused sexuality.

In short, raising authentically Christian children in our culture is not a lost a cause if we make the Gospel Story central to our lives as the guiding meta-narrative; If we incarnate (imperfectly now) the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven and its alternatives to ease, entertainment, materialism, violence, etc; If we worship God with integrity, depth, excellence, and faithfulness; If we as a Church offer an alternate community that is love-centered and character-forming; If we as a Church equip others to foster a culture of nurturing children and supporting parents; and If stand with an alternative ethic that is motivated by Jesus' example, finished work, and the Spirit's indwelling power.

I really liked this book. Marva Dawn is a lucid, informed, thought-provoking writer. She reminds me a lot of Eugene Peterson. This book would be an excellent read for parents, pastors, and children's ministry leaders. I plan on directly incorporating some of the things I learned here into my philosophy of children's ministry. My one (slight) critique of this book is Dawn tends to be a little too critical of our contemporary culture without any commendation. For example, she paints with too broad a brush when she negatively critiques basically all television and "rock" music. Other than that, I think this book is fabulous.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gives insight into how the church should take care of its children, without all the programs and entertainment that pass as worship these days. Basically, it's about getting involved in your children's lives, keeping thir media influence at bay, and involving children in all aspects of the church, especially serving others and considering the poor. Don't expect too many practical ideas on how to "do" children's church...this isn't that kind of book. This is a book to ponder the kind of choices that we as parents or leaders in the church make that shape our children's lives. There are discussion questions at the end of each chapter, and I think this might be beneficial as a group study, since most of what she says acts as a springboard and invites discussion.

[Mjschuurman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Marva J.Dawn schreef een boek over de betekenis van de christelijke gemeente en de ouders voor de geloofsopvoeding van kinderen. In een post-christelijke gemeenschap is het van belang dat kinderen gevormd worden door liturgie en gemeenschap

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book long before Olivia. It is not a book about childrens' ministries in churches. It radically changed the way I viewed the Church and my role in, connection to it.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marva Dawn amazes me with her incisive view of where the Church stands today and what it means to bring up our children in it.