Inconceivable: Winning the Fertility Game

by Julia Indichova

One in six couples in America will experience reproductive problems. Julia Indichova and her husband were part of that statistic. According to several fertility specialists Julia's high FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) level was an indication that her body was no longer producing fertilizable eggs. Her only chance of conceiving, they said, was in-vitro-fertilization with a donor egg. After a futile quest for a more hopeful prognosis, Julia searched through a variety of holistic alternatives and finally decided upon a personal healing regimen. She followed it as single-mindedly , as one would follow a doctor's prescription of antibiotics. Her daughter Adira was conceived naturally, eight months later, and was born on April 29, 1994.

Genres: Nonfiction, Health, Memoir

201 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 1998

Reviews

[Rachel · Rating 1 out of 5]

A woman experiences secondary infertility, is told by the "experts" that she's a lost cause, experiments with alternative treatments until she finds something that works for her, radically alters her diet and lifestyle, takes care of herself, and, just when she's about to give the experts another go, discovers she's gotten pregnant the old fashioned way. (Take that, fertility industry!)

Hurrah for Julia and all that, but I'm not that taken with this book. One cheer for reminding us not to let the medical-industrial complex strip us of our humanity and take over our lives, but I cringe at the counter-stance that we are the "experts" on our own bodies. If I have to be the expert on my body, I feel like (and maybe this is my own neuroses speaking) I now suddenly having to learn, in my spare time, all the information that my physician went through a decade-plus of training to learn, plus the whole gamut of alternative alternatives. Makes me tired just thinking about it. And if I'm the expert, and my experiments don't have the desired outcome, does that make it all my fault?

Which brings me to another thing that bugged me about the book. The author confesses that part of the pain of her infertility was the feeling that she was letting her husband and her daughter down, failing to provide another child/sibling. Not that she doesn't have the right to wrestle with and express those feelings, but I wasn't satisfied with the solution: she finally gets pregnant and has the longed-for child. Because not every infertile woman who reads this book looking for hope is going to wind up getting pregnant, naturally, supernaturally, or technologically. And that's a huge psychological burden to introduce into the story and then just leave sitting there like an elephant in the living room.

Maybe I'm too much of a pessimist. Or am unwilling to let go of faith in the medical establishment. Or just haven't had to deal with this stuff myself. Anyway, it's not my favorite infertility memoir. But it did prompt me to make better choices about my diet. At least until I remembered where I hid my candy bar stash.

[Karah Spahn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not sure how this book landed in my hands, but I'm so happy that it did. Personally, after experiencing consecutive miscarriages, I felt very confused and discouraged. I also felt such a lack of control-- I kept being told there was nothing I could do. I was searching for stories of hope, but they seemed few and far between. Then I stumbled upon this book and loved it from the moment I picked it up. Julie Indichova writes about her struggle with secondary infertility and the difficulties she encountered when seeking Western medical interventions for help. After being told by numerous doctors that her FSH levels were too high and that there was little to be done for her, she listened to her instinct and began to heal herself from inside. She completely changed her diet-- eliminating toxins and increasing healthy alternatives. She also added yoga and meditation to her daily routine and started listening to her own instincts rather than her doctors' orders. Gradually, her FSH levels lowered and she began to feel more healthy and empowered. Eventually, against all odds, she conceived naturally without any medical interventions-- and delivered a healthy baby girl nine months later.

The last few pages of the book give brief stories of five other women who experienced similar situations. I'm not suggesting that drinking herbal teas will help you miraculously conceive a child, but I love that they all had a positive outcome after first taking care of themselves.

Although her struggle does not parallel mine, Julia's desire to gain a little control and find some peace of mind reminds me of my own. I feel like I'm on a similar quest and love the changes she made in her life. Even if she had not been blessed with a daughter at the end, she made some great lifestyle changes that were definitely for the better.

[Stacy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Indichova writes about her infertility journey - from Why am I not preganant yet? through visits with eminent doctors, shady "shamans", acupuncturists, colonic cleansers, and surrogate mothers, towards self empowerment and pregnancy. Indichova's long and winding road to fertility ran through the health food store and the yoga studio rather than the ivf clinic.

Indichova clearly clearly found it empowering to reject her doctors' pessimistic council and persist in her quest. The whole struggle was a learning experience in which the lessons included trusting herself, taking care of herself, and continuing to hope. Along the way, she gave up her complete faith in western medicine and replaced it, in part, with faith in the power of faith itself. She seems to value the journey as much as the child she finally conceived.

Well, good for her. But I'm not convinced yet. It's possible that the Chinese herbs strengthened her uterus. But isn't it also possible that she would have gotten pregnant anyways? If a woman has a one in 1000 chance of getting pregnant... and then gets pregnant... it may feel like success/fate/God's plan... but maybe it's just luck.

[Jess B · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this book was going to be something I could relate to but it really wasn't. The struggle she may have actually felt was not properly conveyed in my opinion. It seemed like she saw doctor's who said it wasn't medically possible for her to have a SECOND child.....she was 42, after all. She didn't take no for an answer and then seemed to achieve her goal relatively quickly. (Not something I can relate to or feel empathy for). This is a story of good fortune and beating the odds sure, but not a story of infertility. Infertility at 42 is a product of biology which all woman are aware of. I guess I don't agree with the way the book is marketed.

The one thing I did take away from this book is a determination to eat better and take better care of myself. So in that way, it did impact me. I also enjoyed the end of the book with the various struggles of others and what they did to overcome the circumstances.

[Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I felt the author focused more on the changes she made to her diet/exercise routines than actually exploring the emotional experience of being unable to conceive. I also thought that the author's views of fertility doctors was a little off; she mentions the expensive nature of the treatments several times in the book and implies that this is entirely due to the greedy nature of the doctors, but doesn't go any deeper than that - for example, the fact that most insurance policies provide absolutely no coverage for infertility.

I found the book to be ultimately unconvincing and unhelpful at best - at worst it is a validation for those who believe that the couples that experience infertility somehow bring the condition upon themselves and/or exacerbate their struggle by seeking medical help instead of eating organic food and doing yoga.

[Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not a fan of this woman or this woman's writing. There's something really off putting about her. The idea that we are the experts of our own bodies is ridiculous to me...I would have zero ability to perform an emergency surgery on myself. While Dr's are far from perfect, they are way more educated than most of us when it comes to the human body. I did, however, find Julia's approach to curing her infertility through her diet very insightful. So for that, I gave it one star.

[Katy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought at first I loved the book, but the more distance I get from it I think less of it. It's just one more infertility book that ends happily with a baby in tow. It also can give a bit of false hope. Didn't love how the message that came across to me was that if you hope hard enough, do enough yoga, and eat enough organic food you'll get your child. Bleh...

[Visda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Chapter 11 she gets pregnant. In this chapter she mentions she celebrated her husband's great aunt's 93rd birthday on July 16 with getting her period. Her appointment with the specialist is "beginning of August". And she does a pregnancy test, which comes back positive on the day of her visit of this specialist. "beginning of August" any date earlier than August 11 doesn't make sense at all?

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by another woman at my fertilty clinic, she said it was an upbeat easy read about a woman struggling with fertility that she likes to read before her treatments. I borrowed the book from her and read it quickly. It's a true story about a woman in her forties trying to have a second baby, but doctors refuse to treat her because of a high FSH level. She continues to search various specialists in multiple areas including doctors, Chinese medicine practitioners, yogis, gurus, etc. and slowly over time gets to know her body better. After 2 years she falls pregnant naturally and then works to connect with others who are trying to get pregnant.

I thought the book was okay. The main take-away is find your own journey or path to parenthood and trust your instincts. Sometimes that does mean working with fertility doctors for treatments, but if it doesn't then that's okay too.

[Jeanette · Rating 3 out of 5]

1. I don’t like that she considers herself an expert, when she’s not
2. Nothing will work if you only do it one time- whether it’s ivf, acupuncture, medicinal herbs, etc.

I think that this is good because it encourages people to educate themselves, change their diet (or at least seriously look at what you’re eating) and look at different types of remedies. I also like that it’s very pro-Resolve- a great organization! BUT- she’s just so full of herself!

[Meredith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really inspiring story that teaches us to trust ourselves, not just doctors and statistics when dealing with infertility. Julia says, life is a teacher, and maybe we need to learn some things about ourselves and how to take care of ourselves before we become the mothers that we long to be.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I gobbled this up in 24 hours or less. It was really balm for my heart. Ironically, Indichova's book made me feel more empowered to engage with the medical field more (I've worked with midwives up to this point), with the knowledge that I can do so on my own terms. I recommend this book to anyone who has experienced the heartache of miscarriage or infertility.

[Kiana Bock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gives hope

A must read for anyone struggling with infertility. Gives you hope & strength to not give up. Thank you Julia.

[Arls · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn’t want to give it 4 stars, but it does offer hope that we change our bodies and outlook with a healthier and natural way and I think that is worth a lot more.

[Kristen EJ Lauderdale]

Definitely a natural health journey, which is not usually an area I’m interested in, but her optimism really did touch and inspire me.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fast and informative read. What a complex issue that so many face! Interesting to think there are so many homeopathic approaches and that this author tried them ALL.

[Purnima · Rating 5 out of 5]

I already reviewed this book on Amazon - but those reviews don't show up here. So I thought of writing a review here. I am seeing many critical reviews of this book. I can certainly see where they are coming from and the fact that it is frightening to think that one could become an authority of what is and isn't good for them. I think this may sound counter-intuitive to many individuals who favor rational thinking (or may favor treating everything with medicine). I have come from the Eastern world where a person is treated as an individual (for example, in Ayurveda or any non-mainstream medicine) and not generally given a blanket treatment for an ailment but an attempt is made to get to the root cause. So I felt much more receptive to the ideas in this book. What one may not realize in the first reading is that - there's so much more to Julia's story than just looking for experts outside and then suddenly falling pregnant. What the critical reviews have missed is the inner work that she did. There are many women who have benefitted from reading just Inconceivable and have made dietary changes and changes to their beliefs, their thoughts and have made themselves healthier.

In my mind, this book illustrates beautifully how attempting to connect the dots with your own thinking can do wonders and reveal more of who we are to ourselves and help us realize our real potential, realize our own worth. It can bring a unique change of mindset. That is what it did for me.

As some reviews pointed out, reading the stories at the end of the book may help drive home the message that is being conveyed in the book. I certainly think, it has helped me. And even more so, Julia's book that followed - the Fertile Female. I recommend both of these to any woman irrespective of where she is in her journey. I have given this book to a friend as a gift and she liked it too.

[Dude · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess it can feel hopeful to be reminded that a) people over 40 can and do have babies, and b) western medicine doesn't understand everything there is to know, and test results and diagnoses can't always predict how things are going to go for any given person. Also, c) eating a healthy diet and exercising are worth a lot more than we often give them credit for.

That being said, this book doesn't give much in terms of practical advice aside from a) eat healthy foods (wheatgrass juice seems to carry inexplicable special powers for the author), b) exercise (yoga seems to be her preferred modality here), and c) positive visualization and strong belief in one's healing modality of choice are crucial to allowing the body to heal itself. I'm not so sure I buy into the last point, but it does sound like a pleasant alternative to the crushing demoralization that can sometimes come along with western fertility treatments.

The author gives no data aside from personal anecdote to back up her advice, but why bother when the point is that you really just need to believe in whatever it is that you're doing in order for it to work?? One could actually design a study to evaluate the effect of strong belief and positive thinking on fertility, and it honestly would have been interesting to know if there's any evidence to back this idea up. Alas, it looks like I'm the one who's going to have to run a search on PubMed now... and I don't even have an editor or research assistant or whoever it is nonfiction writers get to help them figure these things out. :-/

[Kathleen F · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I'm going to have to add a category to my bookshelves that's titled "I had a baby and so can you!"

Julia Indichova's take on the fertility game post-40 is very interesting. After going the standard route with doctors (and being refused by all IVF clinics because her FSH was exceedingly high), she decided she'd try to figure things out on her own. She devised a new eating plan for herself, began a yoga regimen, and developed mind-body techniques that helped her feel more in control of her body. Eight months later (at age 43, I believe) she conceived a child naturally.

The book itself is quite short, but is like a little shot of hope in all of the fertility-crazed madness out there. All it suggests is that, if you take very good care of your body (and with it, your mind), you may well create an environment for conception. At the very least you will be a healthier and more grounded person, ready to take on the challenges of motherhood in any way it comes to you.

After reading it, I'm going to dust of the juicer that's sat unused for a couple of years on my kitchen shelf. And I've already started looking into yoga classes...

[Diary · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a quick read. I had picked it up at the library with two other books and this was last on my list. When I realized it was due the next day I tried to renew it but it had a hold, so I decided to breeze thru the 200 pages that night.
The book was basically about a women's obsession with getting prego and in her desperation to do so, she tries everything eastern, western and a little weird. While reading the book I kept thinking "something seems a little off about this girl." I couldn't place it but her thought patterns threw me a bit. A little later in the book she mentioned spending some time in an institution previously.
In the end she gets prego and attributes her success to the positive thinking, meditation, yoga, herbs and envisioning. All of those things are positive changes, but you need to keep in mind that it could also be attributed to an odds game...there was a long period of trying to get prego.
All in all if you're looking for some recommendations, this isn't going to give you any but it may encourage you to look into more of an eastern medicine standpoint.

[Lucy Bilik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book about mother who listen to her own body to bring on the healing that resulted in joy of another child. I was moved and learned alot from it, given I have a feminist streak in me I felt like invincible and indestructible even when in pain. I have learned from the stories to treat my body with love and cherish by giving it rest and not push myself too much as was my habit.

I believe that this book is true source of incouragement to let nature heal and when needed seek medical professional help. Good luck to all mothers and mothers to be.

[Ariadne · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a good book. I have been in need of an inspirational story regarding fertlity and this really is one. Is there part of me that thinks her outcome is just pure stroke of luck? Yes, but at the same time the optimist side of me hopes it was b/c of all the things she did to improve her lifestyle at the same time. Being currently in the thick of infertility...I struggle to find the positive and this did it for me.

[Gabrielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good, fast read about an older woman facing infertility. Ms. Indichova tells the story in a way that keeps you reading and for an older woman like myself, it can give you hope. Her methods in trying to conceive may seem a bit extreme to some and maybe a bit hard to add to daily life. It is also a book about secondary infertility and women who have primary infertility may have a hard time relating to her struggles.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

I share Indichova's diagnosis of seconder infertility although mine is unexplained. I've visited the specialists, been through the test, done inseminations and IVF. Over and Over the medical community has told me there is nothing that can be done. This book is a very accurate portrait of living with this type of diagnosis in today's medical community. I am inspired by her to take control of my own fertility and to make the changes necessary to be successful. absolutely loved this book.

[Mindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is what really got me thinking about how life styles and diet can effect fertility. The author wrote the book about her own struggle to get pregnant. She was 42 and her FSH was really high and all the fertility clinics she went to told her they could not help her, and after all that she brought her FSH levels down and got pregnant by changing her diet and using alternative medicine.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

The last 50 pages or so of this book really saved it for me. It was a quick and easy read, so I was muddling through just to finish it. Maybe it was the positive ending or the additional personal accounts that changed my feelings, but whatever the difference was, it worked.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

So it was definitely more of a book for personal strength and inspiration. I didn't personally relate to any of the issues the author had or the other women who contributed stories, but it gave me a nudge of trying to trust my body and help myself overcome the obstacles I face.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was interesting, while I was struggling with infertility, to hear what the author did in order to conceive a child.

[Lynda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book literally changed my life. Corny, but true.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very good book about a woman's search to cure her infertility after doctors told her that they couldn't help her.