More Than a Match: The Five Keys to Compatibility for Life

by Michael Smalley, Amy Smalley, Mike Yorkey (Contributor)

Prepare Yourself for Lasting Love

You’ve searched a lifetime for that special person, but how can you be absolutely certain that you’ve found “The One”? And more important, how can you hold on to that love for the rest of your life?

More Than a Match explores the “compatibility factor,” demystifying the science behind matchmaking and giving you the tools you need to find the love you want. You’ll learn how to apply the specifics of good compatibility to a prospective date or mate, as well as how to break things off when you find yourself in the wrong relationship.

But since great relationships aren’t built on compatibility alone, marriage experts Michael and Amy Smalley also delve into the “forever factor,” giving you the skills you need to turn your romance into a lifelong love affair. You’ll learn how to deal with conflict, how to develop a healthy sex life, and how to recover when you inevitably hurt one another.

Fantastic marriages begin long before the exchange of the rings; they start when two people in search of love commit themselves to learning to how to love well…and forever. Because finding and keeping the love of your life is about much More Than a Match.


From the Hardcover edition.

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Marriage

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 16, 2007

Reviews

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't get the new title of this book, it too unstructured to be about "5 keys", but maybe it is revamped to fit it in the newer editions. It's not really worth 4 stars(more 3.5), but I gave it due to that it is mostly a very easy and pleasant read, told from both Amy and Michael in a good conversational style that matches the contents strong parts really well. I found it to be more of their story about their relationships, all from their first meeting to a few years into their marriage sprinkled with some relationship tips and tricks. Like a "what can you learn about dating and love from our story" more than a "what can you learn from several years of insight from counseling". That means, it is not that substantial at all(and it should be as they both have degrees in psychology), but it inspires and gives a good example of the relationship of the authors. There are some very good parts that seem to dive a bit deeper, but the meat of the book lies in the story, making it a bit uneven.

[Amydeanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

So what is this book about? I think Amy Smalley summerizes it up very nicely in this first chapter:

What these online dating services overlook is that finding a compatible person is far easier than mastering what it takes to make a relationship work long term. Compatibility is the easy part; learning how to love is the more difficult task. Compatibility doesn’t mean happiness. What are some things that couples need to master before they are truly compatible? I believe couples on the road to marriage must learn how to communicate, how to forgive, how to get rid of anger, how to create safety in their relationships, and how to resolve conflict. That’s why Michael and I are writing More Than a Match. We want to teach couples how to arrive at win-win solutions for the issues threatening to divide them. When you really like someone—someone you think you may marry— it’s imperative that you ask the big questions. Many times couples in a relationship assume they know all the big questions to ask. Our encouragement to you is, don’t let any of these questions fall through the cracks.

Michael and Amy provide a great foundation of questions and things to look for BEFORE you get married. I think if I would have had this book before I got married it would have saved me a lot of time on issues that took us YEARS to resolve. (or maybe not, I'm a bit stubborn! lol)

I appreciate the honest candor about not only intellectual and emotional questions, but sexual topics such as premarital sex. Often this is overlooked or brushed under the carpet because it happens all too often (80% of Christian couples included in that!!!). The Smalley's discuss in-depth details on the sexual front, which I think are important for "engaged" couples to consider regardless of their previous sexual experience.

I found the book to build with each chapter. It became more and more interesting in the end as the two give examples of their frustrations through married life and how they created some win-win situations. I think that really brought a grounding to this book-- that they are parterners in marriage, and that is what it is about.

I would gladly pass this book onto my unmarried friends who are considering taking the plunge, or longing for deeper relationships.


** This copy was provided for me for my honest review by Water Brook Multnomah

[Christy Trever · Rating 4 out of 5]

More Than a Match by Michael & Amy Smalley is an enjoyable and incredibly honest look at how to successfully go from dating to happily married. The authors are brutally honest about the mistakes they made in their dating and early in their marriage, offering up their errors as lessons for the reader. They focus on the compatibility studies from various dating sites that promise a perfect match, but marriage is more than being compatible. It's about communication and respect, and the authors, both counselors, have plenty of advice. They encourage readers to make a check list of what's most important to them and then honestly evaluate relationships in the light of the list. Their insight on sex (especially the wedding night) is right on the money and almost shockingly open. While the book is aimed at those in the dating pool, it also has great advice for communication for everyone, even couples with several anniversaries under their belt. This book may be a bit too mature and graphic for teen audiences, but for college age and up, it's a terrific guide to getting relationships right.

[Cmay]

I'm looking forward to reading this!