Retromancer

Brentford #9

by Robert Rankin

In the newest madcap adventure from Robert Rankin, history has gone askew and it's up to the one and only Hugo Rune to face down aliens and monsters galore in order to put everything in its right place   There is big and evil magic upon the face of the Earth, and history has consequently been changed. The Germans have won World War II; America is a nuclear wasteland; and worst of all the breakfast menu at the Wife's Legs Café in Brentford is serving bratwurst rather than the proper British sausage. When the world is all wrong and it needs setting right, the only hope left is Hugo Rune, a man who offers the world his genius and asks only that his expenses be covered. Hugo, also known as the hokus bloke, the Lad Himself, and the Retromancer, sets out to rewrite history the way it should be, with the aid of his faithful acolyte and companion Rizla. Together they return to war-torn London to solve the 12 cosmic conundrums based upon Hugo's personal tarot deck, each mystery leading them closer to a final terrifying confrontation. They must match their wits against beautiful spies, advanced alien technology, killer robots, and death rays; do battle with an ancient god; and come face to face once more with Hugo Rune's arch-enemy, the sinister Count Otto Black.

Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Steampunk, Comedy, Science Fiction, Humor, Comic Fantasy

368 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

"When Robert Rankin embarked upon his writing career in the late 1970s, his ambition was to create an entirely new literary genre, which he named Far-Fetched Fiction. He reasoned that by doing this he could avoid competing with any other living author in any known genre and would be given his own special section in WH Smith."
(from Web Site Story)

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales, a fitting description, assuming that he isn't lying about it. From his early beginnings as a baby in 1949, Robert Rankin has grown into a tall man of some stature. Somewhere along the way he experimented in the writing of books, and found that he could do it rather well. Not being one to light his hide under a bushel, Mister Rankin continues to write fine novels of a humorous science-fictional nature.

Reviews

[Jonathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If it's escapism and fun you are looking for, then this is definitely a book worth adding to your collection. Whenever you start to read any of Robert Rankin's novels you know you’re in for an insane, yet highly funny experience. He seamlessly combines his own quirky imagination with wild adventure.
The way Rankin plays with the conventions of both language and storytelling is a wonder to behold. Clever one liners, self-deprecating humour, and running jokes are the order of the day. He compares well to his contemporaries like Terry Pratchett and Neill Gaiman with his amusing storytelling.
I cannot praise this book enough, I laughed from start to finish, even elements that can be annoying in some books are brilliantly handled, for instance the countless pieces of annotation can often bore after a while, but even these are some of the funniest I have read. Admittedly Rankin is not to everyone's taste, his humour can be very broad and out there at times.
As a writer I also think Robert Rankin is very brave, never is he afraid to challenge convention, be it blatantly drawing our attention to a running joke of beer having word processor font names, or massive plot holes openly mocked. I feel that this book in particular, should be regarded as one of Rankin's career highlights and it is only a matter of time until he is regarded as one of Britain's finest fantasy/science fiction writers.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

After his previous adventures with Hugo Rune (detailed in other books, which I haven't read, though that isn't necessary to get into this one), his acolytle Rizla wakes one morning to find that history has taken a wrong turn - the Germans won World War II and all Rizla can now get for brekkie is bratwurst. Therefore, he and his mentor set out for the past to try and put things right.

What follows is an absurd and punny comic tale, which amuses and irritates in equal measure; to put right the past they must solve twelve cases and this they do by eating large amounts of breakfast, drinking copious amounts of ales named after typefaces, and holding random conversations before Rune pulls the solution out of his ass (or may as well do, for all the relevance it has to what's gone on).

While I did like this book and it was a very easy, undemanding read that did make me smile on occasion, I did feel throughout as though Rankin was reading over my shoulder, congratulating himself on taking up Douglas Adams' mantle while chuckling to himself at his own jokes and nodding smugly at the knowing winks directed at the reader. This was a feeling that only intensified as the book progressed and Rizla and Rune kept commenting that it was 'best to not to be too picky' about the the dodgy continuity and improbable occurences.

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wahey! Another Robert Rankin masterpiece, I felt sometimes the humour element was somewhat misplaced (a more serious situation watered down by it), but generally Rankin has managed to fuse British comedy with American heroism.

Would I recommend it to someone else? Certainly! Regardless of your preferences, this is in my eyes a great book to pick up and a must-have for any bookcase!

[Brian Clegg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Robert Rankin is an acquired taste - but one I acquired many years ago. In fact I remember being really irritated once because I accidentally picked up a book by a new author, close on the shelves, with very similar covers, some upstart called Terry Pratchett.

Rankin write totally bonkers humorous fantasy, and has broadly gone through three phases. He started off with a cracking three books - the Brentford trilogy which were superb. After that he wandered around a bit with books that often had wonderfully mad ideas (try a plot combining Elvis, Jesus's twin sister and an intelligent time sprout called Barry), but didn't work quite as well in terms of narrative thrust. They lacked comprehensible plot. Lately, though, several of his books have returned to his early genius.

Retromancer nearly but not quite makes the top ranks. It features Hugo Rune, who initially appeared (Rankin's books have a set of characters who regularly crop up) to be a fraudulant magus, but by this book (and its predecessor the Brightonomicon) had turned out to be genuine, if a scrounger as most of Rankin's good guys are. But the main character is 'Rizla', Rune's young assistant, who turns out to be a younger version of one of the main characters of the Brentford trilogy. Here they are plunged through time to prevent an alternative universe where the Germans won World War 2 taking place. Sounds a hoary old plot? Not in the hands of Rankin.

It doesn't get five stars as it does seem to coast just a little occasionally, and the format is lifted straight from Brightonomicon (being Rankin he effectively tells us this). But it is hugely enjoyable if you like a bit of Rankin.

[John Montagne · Rating 1 out of 5]

I liked this novel in the very beginning - but it quickly spiraled down. The quick descent started with the introduction of the pompous hero who is pompous because its suppose to be funny. Other self-absorbed hero characters can pull this off, not so here. I quickly became bored with it and found him annoying, his self-assurance always panned out for him - which makes for an infallible character whom I can't empathize with. The main(?) character - a young English lad, I liked, a pragmatic fella. But he is toted around on the coat tails of the superman (Hugo Rune). Furthermore, Rankin does the Sherlock Holmes (annoying) tactic "of course Mister Watson" more-or-less. Doyle could do this, Rankin can't. And Hugo Rune likewise had a solution for everything - and none of these solutions are so much as hinted at beforehand to the reader... so there is no "figuring out" goodness for the reader. The action was lame - including the descriptions - just gloss overs. The plot itself was ok, though I've read similar. This was a "forced read" for me... Interviews with the author and the several premises of his books led me to thinking I'd really like them. SPeaking of which, I happened upon and read three separate interviews with Mr. Rankin, who comes across rather absurd in a funny way. It's unfortunate that this doesn't come across in the novel.

[Tim Hicks · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rankin is trying to create his own niche in fiction, and I suppose he has succeeded. But this book makes me think of the generic British character who laughs uproariously at his own jokes and punches you on the shoulder while shouting, "Geddit? Geddit? HAHAHARHAR!"

I never cared for Adams's Infinite Improbability Drive, and Rankin takes it a step beyond, not only pulling things out of thin air but also repeatedly pointing out that a continuity gap has just occurred. Even Doctor Who does better than that.

All in all, this feels like something written in class by a fifth-former who's making it up as he goes along.

To echo the book's language, I am doing the frowning at this book.

I've read other Rankin work, and I understand that it's hardly meant to win any Intellectual Prose awards, but even against a relaxed standard this was weak.
Just makes me appreciate Pratchett and others more.

[Basicallyrun · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh, I should've liked this book so much more than I did. Alternative history! The Second World War! Unexpected Alan Turing! (And really, I should do a tally at the end of the year to see just how many books I've read featuring him.) It was fun, I'll give it that, and I honestly did like Rizla, the narrator, but I honestly never understood why anyone was doing anything. I have this feeling Rankin was trying to lampshade the way fantasy heroes do things for no apparent reason - or because of Fate-with-a-capital-F - but it didn't really work for me. Why was the villain doing what he was? Because he's the villain, duh. So yes. Rankin went too much for the cool factor and not enough for the substance - the only character I gave even the slightest bit of a damn about was Rizla, and even then I never had any fear he'd come out of it all right.

[Fraser Cook · Rating 1 out of 5]

Occasionally witty but mostly annoying. Not as clever as it thinks it is and mostly pointless. Too much self referential winking at the story without actually bothering to make a story. And having characters pointing out the gaps during the story doesn't make it the less poor. Lazy isn't necessarily funny.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Retromancer by Robert Rankin tells the tale of Hugo Rune and his acolyte Rizla and their heroic efforts to save the world from a grim fate.. One where Nazi's have won the Second World War and it is no longer possible to get a full English breakfast anywhere in Brentford. Just how they do this will require them traveling back in time and solving 12 cosmic riddles, each based upon a different card in a tarot deck. With each card drawn and with each seemingly inconsequential resolution to some ridiculous anecdotal mini-adventure, they draw closer to their final encounter with Count Otto Black. If you are a fan of Rankin, this book has it all. There are running gags and intentional continuity errors. There is hyperbole, paradox, the brandishing of stout sticks, pints, punch-ups and even pirates. And Rankin's choice of arcane vocabulary words in this book are in and of themselves a work of art. Highly recommended if you enjoyed the Brightonomicon or any of other books which are considered part of the increasingly inaccurately named body of work known as the Brentford Trilogy". 4/5

[Andrew Lawston · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this was one of my favourite Robert Rankin novels so far, full of Hugo Rune and time travel and wonderfully tall tales. It starts off with a CJ Sansom Dominion-style vision of a 1960s Britain where the Allies lost the Second World War, which manages to be horrifying, credible, and very, very funny all at once, before embarking on a whole series of adventures. Best enjoyed with a pint of Comic Sans at the Purple Princess.

[Victoria Roe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Improved a lot as I got further into the story and managed to get used to/tune out some of the more annoying use of pointless flowery language (I know that's the point, it just grated). I really enjoyed the odd throwaway line and 4th wall breaking callback but I'm not sure I'll necessary rush to read any more by him. Reliably informed this is not the best through so never say never, and it was a quick and easy read.

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was really funny! I didn't realise it followed on from another story (I wish books would make this kind of thing more clear), and would like to go back and read the other one. It didn't affect the story much as it didn't follow a previous book story-wise, but I feel as if reading them in order would have introduced me to the characters better.

[Jon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mr Rankin has a distinct style of writing that won't be for many. But if you want a fun fast plot filled with stupidity and laughs then Retormancer hits the spot. The running gags and jokes are all very Carry On but I loved it all.

[Elmari Kruger · Rating 4 out of 5]

What! Just What! Why! Why! Why!

[Fran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terje likes his books. Says they are somewhat like Douglas Adams who I love. Library only has retromancer. And only has it in small print

[Carol Aldred · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny, but it tries too hard.

[Deserthomemaker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ridiculous, but not in a good way. It’s more of an eye-rolling-that-was-obnoxious sort of book.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

The definition of Gonzo - 1940s time travelling adventure that is saturated in Britishness.

[Nuala Marshall · Rating 2 out of 5]

Enjoyed it for about 2 chapters, then it got fairly repetitive and tiresome

[Isabel (kittiwake) · Rating 4 out of 5]

'You have a plan, do you not?' I said.
'Naturally. Twelve cases and we win the war.'
'Twelve cases, I see.' And I did. Well, sort of.
It is always twelve cases, as I have told you before. It is always to do with time and it always involves the solving of twelve Cosmic Conundra. It is what I do and what I am.'
'And I will be proud to aid you' I said.

The teenage Jim Pooley is surprised when his aunt serves him bratwurst for breakfast one morning rather than bangers. When he ventures out into the streets of Brentford, he finds that apparently Germany won the war and he seems to be the only person in Brentford who knows that history has been changed, and wonders if this could be because Hugo Rune had already interfered with his time-line, so that their year-long adventures in Brighton (as chronicled in "The Brightonomicon") appeared to have taken a single day. After a run-in with the German authorities, he finds himself
waking up in World War II London, and working with Rune to re-set history and ensure that the Allies win the war. This involves investigating twelve cases under the aegis of the Ministry of Serendipity, whose secret headquarters are underneath Mornington Crescent tube station.

A great improvement over Necrophenia, which I read a couple of months ago.

[Justine · Rating 1 out of 5]

I tried to make myself read it, I guess because at the time I was focused on wanting to read x number of books. After struggling so long, I reminded myself that I didn't actually HAVE to read this book and that I should actually be attempting to read things that I like/that are useful to me. Maybe I failed because I haven't read anything by Robert Rankin (it is obvious that there are recurring characters in the book) and this wasn't the best book to start with; more likely, I guess it was the writing style. I can never find this kind of approach to humor funny. Finally, I was bothered with the story itself. There is no kind of way to predict what may happen, as the solution to every scenario is ridiculous. What I mean is the author suddenly throws in inventions/circumstances/characters/information at the very last moment that almost suggests "I can't really be bothered coming up with a good reason why this stuff is happening, so I'm just going to make up some crazy object up out of thin air RIGHT NOW and that will satisfy everyone". I never got far enough through to really get anywhere because I got over this quite quickly.
Obviously this is an acquired taste.

[Nathan Dehoff]

This follow-up to The Brightonomicon has the young Jim Pooley once again teaming up with Hugo Rune to go back in time and prevent the Nazis from winning World War II with the aid of Rune's arch-nemesis Count Otto Black. Rune and Black are linked because the latter removed his name from the Book of Life so he could never die, and Rune's name was on the opposite side of the page, making him immortal as well. Of course, it's never entirely clear how much of what Rune says is actually true. He claims to have been Merlin back in the days of King Arthur, but another Rankin book posits that Professor Slocombe was Merlin. There are some pretty creative and funny ideas here, and we finally get to meet Pooley's father, but it largely suffered from the same fate as its predecessor in the solutions to things pretty much always coming out of nowhere. Granted, the characters acknowledge this, but at the same time I feel that many of Rankin's other books at least have plot threads you can follow even if they are totally far-fetched. I wouldn't recommend this as a stand-alone, but if you're familiar with Rankin's work, it's a nice return to his recurring characters and running gags.

[Steve Rippington · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a Rankin noob, so I wasn't sure what to expect from this. Unfortunately I chose the second book in a series to start with, although ultimately, I don't think it mattered.



From start to finish, Rankin writes with humour and pace. His characters are at once bizarre, funny, and likeable. I found the main body of the book formulaic: there are twelve cases for the main characters to solve, and each seems to start with a piss-up and some nosh in the local pub. I say formulaic, but in no way is that a bad thing in this instance. In fact, if anything, it seemed to keep the story, that was dangerously close to just floating off into existential weirdness, grounded and helped the reader to keep a sense of place.



I would heartily recommend Retromancer to anyone who has never tried 'far-fetched fiction' before. I'll certainly be trying out some of Rankin's other novels in the near future.

[Andrea (mrsaubergine) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been reading Robert Rankin religiously since 1992, but four years ago I lost my far-fetched mojo and gave up for a while. This book has been sitting by my bed all this time, and I regret not having picked it up sooner. I really enjoyed it, and found I had missed all Rankin's running gags (80s music references, beers named after type fonts, traditions and old charters and such).

Here, the teenage Jim Pooley wakes up in 1960s Brentford to find the Germans won WW2 and he has to eat bratwurst for breakfast. What else can he do but reunite with guru's guru Hugo Rune to go back in time to ensure the Allies win. Twelve tasks await them, all pulled off with Rune's standard flair and lack of funds. Needless to say, my mojo has returned and I shall now work my way through the other three beside my bed.

[John Defrog: global citizen, local gadfly · Rating 3 out of 5]

A sequel to Rankin’s The Brightonomicon, in which young Rizla (whose identity was revealed in the previous book) is reunited with Hugo Rune (The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived) to solve another dozen cases. At stake this time is the future – the Nazis have won WW2 by dropping an atomic bomb on America, and Rune and Rizla must travel back in time and change history back the way it was. As much as I like Rankin, I had trouble getting into this, mainly because it felt like he was basically stretching the premise of the previous book well past its limits to the point that it felt recycled (which is saying something, as Rankin has employed running gags through most of his books). It’s reasonably entertaining, but retreads a little too much old ground.

[TheIron Paw · Rating 3 out of 5]

As I wrote before: Rankin is utterly mad. However, portions of this novel may be construed as possibly having a semblance of logic (perhaps, maybe). A good yarn based on his Bentford series (which I have never read, so this seemed out of place to me) that is a series of quests as our protagonist strives to save the world while beating up cabbies and never paying for typeface font beer. This allowed me to take breaks from the novel to read simpler stuff like quantum mechanics.

While reading this, one must continually maintain a high state of alertness for the running gags and double or triple entendres that flow through the novel like a river of insanity. A good read for all those who feel reality is vastly overrated.

[Hal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Plot and characters are largely an excuse for some 400 pages of whimsical and playful experiments with language and all sorts of running gags. It fits right into the Rankin universe, complete with magic, fantasy, the loathing of paid work, Fangio the fatboy barman and references to famed detective Lazlo Woodbine. The structure of the book is built around 12 cases to solve for first-person hero "Rizla" and his larger-than-life gregarious mentor, Hugo Rune. The twists are standard and often far-fetched, but it's hard to be cross with a story that's so clearly aimed at delivering preposterous jokes, wordplay and an overall atmosphere of adventure.

[Blair · Rating 3 out of 5]

At times it felt like walking into a movie in the last ten minutes and not having a clue as to what had taken place in the first three-quarters. Robert Rankin must have suffered some debilitating nerve and muscle damage after the amount of winks and nods he inserted in "Retromancer". On the plus side, Rankin can sure spin a yarn. Gaping holes in the plot and narrative notwithstanding it was humourous, fast-paced, and intelligent. It has piqued my curiousity about the other books in the series. I will not be on a hot-foot to read them but they are at least on my radar now.

[Jr · Rating 3 out of 5]

This romp through time travel, magic, and science fiction tropes is a good laugh. It also seems to be at least part two in an ongoing storyline. This I didn't realize. But it's not so hard to pick up what was happening. Think Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett but a little more eccentric and you're on the right track. If you enjoy those authors you might like this one. I may yet read something else by Robert Rankin. It was decidedly silly and fun and occasionally very very strange.

[Samantha · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love movie comedies but it is rare that I like a funny book and I have read several in the past including Robert Rankin and each time they just miss my funny bone. I think the only recent one that comes to mind is Mystery Man by Colin Bateman which I enjoyed. So you ask why did I read this then well yet again it was the book club choice. I just found it silly and I love screwball comedies but I just can't read them. This is a fail for me and I'm sorry because I wanted to like it.