**3.5**
Virtue and the Grim Consequences Thereof is an incredibly apt name for this volume. Time and again, the Goon shows his kinder nature and helps someone out of a jam, only to pay for it later. With all of these bad results, you’d think he’d be more likely to tell them to scram!
In the first story, the Goon joins a football team. That’s right, the Goon being athletic! When a washed-up football player shows up with plans to raise the townspeople’s self-worth and dignity by giving them a local team to root for, the Goon can’t help but pitch in. They create quite a stir, coming under the scrutiny of two of the local crime families. What follows is tragic, but inadvertently allows for the Goon to expand his powerbase.
I’m always fascinated by the regular Joe’s reaction to the Goon. Even though we know he’s a thug who breaks legs and bashes heads, the normal person on the street doesn’t fear him as much as respect him. As one business owner says: “Only you keep the Black Hand off my back, Goon! They would have broken me by now if not for you! Sure, I pay you, but you keep it reasonable! And it is well worth it to know The Goon is keeping me safe! My mother, she pray for you every night!” I get the impression the man truly means it, rather than merely trying to butter up a dangerous ruffian. In the Goon’s world, this kind of logic makes sense. He’s sort of akin to the gentleman gangster who only picks on those who have voluntarily inserted themselves into a rough life. His turning a blind eye to small-time crooks also wins him favors--a few of which he cashes in on to build up the team roster. According to today’s standards, I probably shouldn’t approve of the racket he runs, and yet I still find the Goon an immensely likable character. He sticks his neck out for the little guy and despite the grim consequences, he’ll continue to do so.
In the next story, “the cast of The Goon would like to present…Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol (a complete bastardization of a piece of classic holiday literature).” Although the artwork is great as always, this one fell a bit flat. The most enjoyable part was seeing the Goon in the traditional furred green robes of the Ghost of Christmas Present--made more amusing by the inclusion of his own customary cap and a glimpse of polka-dot boxers!
Moving on, we see the return of Dr. Heironymous Alloy, certainly one of my favorite characters in the Goon-verse. Sending the Goon through what looks suspiciously like a Stargate, Alloy asks him to retrieve an element from a parallel universe. A parallel universe! The landscape and effects of which come off as an homage to a painfully bad acid trip, which only partially explains why we are treated to a panel of Franky wearing a top hat and tails, daintily sipping tea and sporting a rather distinguished monocle. Bizarre but fun.
As with everything involving the misguided Dr. Alloy, everything goes horribly wrong and mayhem ensues. Ohhhh, Dr. Alloy. If only everyone would purchase his genetically modified cream corn, things would go so much smoother.
Lastly, we have a prose story by Thomas Lennon. (I had to google him. He seems to be best known as an actor on Reno 911 and as a screenwriter for Night at the Museum. Thank you, google, oh massive aggregator of sometimes sketchy knowledge.) Franky is the narrator, and while I generally like the humor the misguided pipsqueak brings to the Goon, I didn’t particularly like this story. I think that without the Goon at his side, Franky is much more into straight up thuggery. He doesn’t have the aforementioned gentleman aspect that saves the Goon from my disapproval. Strange, since he had a solid upbringing compared to the titular character’s roving carnival childhood. They’re an argument for the fact that strength of character is not necessarily something you learn, but might be an inherent part of your being which is then cultivated through experience.
To sum up, five issues--three of which are great, two of which fall flat (oh, and a two page spoof ad for a character called The Atomic Rage which is just plain disturbing). An okay showing but worth it for the Goon’s continued effort to help out the people around him.