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If I Only Knew Then...: Learning from Our Mistakes
Writer, activist, and actor Charles Grodin delivers a fascinating collection of more than eighty intimate and revealing stories from friends and colleagues in the worlds of entertainment, sports, journalism, politics, and business-inspiring, entertaining, and heartfelt accounts of mistakes they've made and the lessons they learned.
Carol Burnett writes about an ill-fated meeting with Cary Grant. Rosie O'Donnell remembers her inability to express her love for a close girlfriend. Senator Orrin Hatch regrets voting against Martin Luther King Day. Goldie Hawn considers her last day on Laugh-In ...and that's just the beginning!
Alan Alda overprepares for an interview. Ben Stiller wonders whether he should have stayed in school. Kenneth Cole gets mixed up during an important speech. Lily Tomlin reconsiders a wardrobe choice. And what do Shirley MacLaine and Paul Newman regret? You'll have to read to find out.
IF I ONLY KNEW THEN... is that rare book that could change your life. We aren't always aware we're making mistakes. These wonderful stories offer insights that could keep us from erring in the future. Don't make the mistake of not reading this book!
All of Mr. Grodin's proceeds from this book will be donated to HELP USA, a not-for-profit organization with a mission to empower the homeless and others in need to become and remain self-reliant.
Carol Burnett writes about an ill-fated meeting with Cary Grant. Rosie O'Donnell remembers her inability to express her love for a close girlfriend. Senator Orrin Hatch regrets voting against Martin Luther King Day. Goldie Hawn considers her last day on Laugh-In ...and that's just the beginning!
Alan Alda overprepares for an interview. Ben Stiller wonders whether he should have stayed in school. Kenneth Cole gets mixed up during an important speech. Lily Tomlin reconsiders a wardrobe choice. And what do Shirley MacLaine and Paul Newman regret? You'll have to read to find out.
IF I ONLY KNEW THEN... is that rare book that could change your life. We aren't always aware we're making mistakes. These wonderful stories offer insights that could keep us from erring in the future. Don't make the mistake of not reading this book!
All of Mr. Grodin's proceeds from this book will be donated to HELP USA, a not-for-profit organization with a mission to empower the homeless and others in need to become and remain self-reliant.
240 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2007
12 people are currently reading
94 people want to read
About the author
Charles Grodin
16 books15 followersCharles Grodin is an Emmy Award-winning American actor, comedian, author and former cable talk show host.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
June 11, 2012
My two favorite excerpts:
From Rosie O'Donnell's essay about falling in love with a woman in college and being unable to tell the woman she loved her:
“Someone did a study on the cell phone calls made from the Twin Towers as they fell. The question: Was there any pattern in what people said? The researchers expected they would find repeated SOSes—pleas for life, asking for absolution—but there was remarkably little of that. Instead, what the people said over and over again as they died, what they sent out across the sea of static: “I love you. These words, when said sincerely, have the capacity to right our wrongs, and live on long after we have gone back to being stars."
From Kathy Lee Gifford's essay about how it's never too late to pursue a passion:
"My daddy. . . . . used to say, ‘Honey, find something you love to do and then figure out a way to get paid for it.’ He understood that where your true passion is, there your joy is also. And a joyful life is a truly successful life. Perhaps not by the world’s standards, but whose life is it anyway?"
From Rosie O'Donnell's essay about falling in love with a woman in college and being unable to tell the woman she loved her:
“Someone did a study on the cell phone calls made from the Twin Towers as they fell. The question: Was there any pattern in what people said? The researchers expected they would find repeated SOSes—pleas for life, asking for absolution—but there was remarkably little of that. Instead, what the people said over and over again as they died, what they sent out across the sea of static: “I love you. These words, when said sincerely, have the capacity to right our wrongs, and live on long after we have gone back to being stars."
From Kathy Lee Gifford's essay about how it's never too late to pursue a passion:
"My daddy. . . . . used to say, ‘Honey, find something you love to do and then figure out a way to get paid for it.’ He understood that where your true passion is, there your joy is also. And a joyful life is a truly successful life. Perhaps not by the world’s standards, but whose life is it anyway?"
April 28, 2008
Very interesting concept. Collect stories from famous people about mistakes they wish they didn't make. I figure with 80 different people responding, someone would hit a chord. Of the 80, I did recognize most of them but didn't really have any affection to any of them beforehand to care that deeply.
Kinda reminds me of Chicken Soup for the Soul series.
June 15, 2021
After the death of Charles Grodin, I borrowed his "If I Only Knew Then: Learning from Our Mistakes" from our local library. Rather than a book written by Grodin, he apparently sent a note to a thousand of his closest friends to ask if they'd share the wisdom that they gained from a mistake they had made in their lives. Apparently, a hundred of those folks wrote back, and their entries were compiled as the text of this book.
Unfortunately, very few of Grodin's interesting, insightful, or famous friends responded. Instead, the book is an compilation of bland, uninspiring, and shockingly meaningless drivel almost entirely from people unknown to me. While I know that Hollywood is not populated exclusively by vain and vapid people, but this book does little to dispel that notion. Ranging from those who had the arrogance to say that they never made a mistake to those who claimed their biggest mistake was not having a one-night stand with Marlon Brando, I'm not sure you could have intentionally collected such a pointless smattering of useless observations.
It was a semi-clever idea, poorly executed, and sure to disappoint any readers who aren't keen on pseudo-celebrity gossip and tedious humble-bragging. Thankfully, it was a quick read, but a few days after finishing, I can't remember a single thing I read. Seriously, prospective reader, you can do so much better than this...
Unfortunately, very few of Grodin's interesting, insightful, or famous friends responded. Instead, the book is an compilation of bland, uninspiring, and shockingly meaningless drivel almost entirely from people unknown to me. While I know that Hollywood is not populated exclusively by vain and vapid people, but this book does little to dispel that notion. Ranging from those who had the arrogance to say that they never made a mistake to those who claimed their biggest mistake was not having a one-night stand with Marlon Brando, I'm not sure you could have intentionally collected such a pointless smattering of useless observations.
It was a semi-clever idea, poorly executed, and sure to disappoint any readers who aren't keen on pseudo-celebrity gossip and tedious humble-bragging. Thankfully, it was a quick read, but a few days after finishing, I can't remember a single thing I read. Seriously, prospective reader, you can do so much better than this...
February 29, 2024
Like any collection of essays this book was filled with some 5 star pieces and some 1 starers...any imo 2 0 stars.
Overall a nice compilation of feel good stories that are quick reads.
Among the best for me: Alan Alda, Dr. Nicholas Perricone, Mary Steenburgen, and Grodin himself. His not so much the story itself, that was oft repeated in this collection; I wish I'd spent more time with my parents, but moreso the lesson he learned from it, which was original and movingly stated.
The ones I was unimpressed with: Shirley Maclaine who griped about the president and offered trite meaningless errors, some Dr who somehow turned his mistake into humble bragging about how good of a surgeon he is, a chick who's biggest mistake in life was to not get into NY real estate market when she was young, Sally Kellerman, who bravely barred her soul by admitting not having a one-stand with Marlon Brando was her greatest error in life, and last but not least Paul Newman who brusquely dismisses the project and says "Nothing!", proving to me that after reading his memoirs, he is indeed the a-hole he came off as.
Overall however, i enjoyed a lot of these quick little stories and found them uplifting and joyous. This is actually a book I will keep a copy of, as I think many of these quick essays will be worth a reread. I just know for sure the ones to avoid.
Overall a nice compilation of feel good stories that are quick reads.
Among the best for me: Alan Alda, Dr. Nicholas Perricone, Mary Steenburgen, and Grodin himself. His not so much the story itself, that was oft repeated in this collection; I wish I'd spent more time with my parents, but moreso the lesson he learned from it, which was original and movingly stated.
The ones I was unimpressed with: Shirley Maclaine who griped about the president and offered trite meaningless errors, some Dr who somehow turned his mistake into humble bragging about how good of a surgeon he is, a chick who's biggest mistake in life was to not get into NY real estate market when she was young, Sally Kellerman, who bravely barred her soul by admitting not having a one-stand with Marlon Brando was her greatest error in life, and last but not least Paul Newman who brusquely dismisses the project and says "Nothing!", proving to me that after reading his memoirs, he is indeed the a-hole he came off as.
Overall however, i enjoyed a lot of these quick little stories and found them uplifting and joyous. This is actually a book I will keep a copy of, as I think many of these quick essays will be worth a reread. I just know for sure the ones to avoid.
January 11, 2019
Nothing the eighty-some famous people confess in this book is likely to be new to adult readers, but this is prime-grade celebrity gossip. Movie stars, politicians, authors, and so on tell us in their own words to appreciate elders while they're still with us and appreciate children while they're still little, and be prepared, and if you want to accomplish something stop fantasizing and do it, and so on.
My favorite selection is Leonard Nimoy's explanation of how he was right to reject a piece of advice for the reason he rejected it at the time, and yet, at the same time, he was still wrong.
My favorite selection is Leonard Nimoy's explanation of how he was right to reject a piece of advice for the reason he rejected it at the time, and yet, at the same time, he was still wrong.
June 23, 2019
Interesting listening to this.....lots of stories and you learn things about people you didn't know. Admitting we’re wrong-interesting concept that too few people understand.
2 favs-Kathy Lee Gifford and Arleen Alda.
2 favs-Kathy Lee Gifford and Arleen Alda.
December 30, 2018
Entertaining stories from some well known people, is enlightening to see everyone makes the same mistakes as you.
May 12, 2019
Best book I’ve read in a long time. People admitting when they were wrong. If only more people did this...
February 22, 2020
Great little book... One minute you laugh out loud, the next minute you are moved to tears... Very entertaining, I enjoyed it much more than I would have ever imagined.
BTW - Favorite story - Barbara Feldon.
BTW - Favorite story - Barbara Feldon.
March 19, 2012
A somewhat interesting, if uneven, collection of 83 responses to the question "What's one of your biggest mistakes and what did you learn from it?" Most of the names were at least vaguely familiar to me, but there were only a handful of the vignettes and lessons learned that were memorable even shortly after closing the book.
Many of the stories had something to do with spending quality time with loved ones, appreciating loved ones while they are with you, or making sure they know of your love - one phrase that will stick with me is from Dan Raviv (a CBS news correspondent): "Tell all your loved ones that they are your loved ones." Even though the individual stories were heartfelt, the repetition made it come across as somewhat cliched.
Another common theme was simply listening. To others, to yourself, to experts, to strangers, to friends. Alan Alda encapsulated it as "Listening is letting the other person change me." I also appreciated Alan Alda's explanation of the several levels of ignorance: "The rudimentary level is imply not knowing anything and keeping quiet about it...A lower rung of ignorance hell is 'knowing' something that's not so--and then telling everybody else about it. An even lower rung, and maybe the most dangerous, is thinking that what you know, whatever it is, even if it's right, is all there is to know."
I laughed out loud at Carol Burnett's telling of her mortifying and painfully awkward meeting with Cary Grant. And I found Senator Orrin Hatch's answer intriguing; if he could change anything, he would go back and vote "yes" on creating the national holiday honoring Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. I'm sure another person would read this book and have completely different excerpts stick out to her and maybe that's the beauty of it, but it was fairly blah for me with the few highlights mentioned above.
For more book reviews, come visit my blog, Build Enough Bookshelves.
Many of the stories had something to do with spending quality time with loved ones, appreciating loved ones while they are with you, or making sure they know of your love - one phrase that will stick with me is from Dan Raviv (a CBS news correspondent): "Tell all your loved ones that they are your loved ones." Even though the individual stories were heartfelt, the repetition made it come across as somewhat cliched.
Another common theme was simply listening. To others, to yourself, to experts, to strangers, to friends. Alan Alda encapsulated it as "Listening is letting the other person change me." I also appreciated Alan Alda's explanation of the several levels of ignorance: "The rudimentary level is imply not knowing anything and keeping quiet about it...A lower rung of ignorance hell is 'knowing' something that's not so--and then telling everybody else about it. An even lower rung, and maybe the most dangerous, is thinking that what you know, whatever it is, even if it's right, is all there is to know."
I laughed out loud at Carol Burnett's telling of her mortifying and painfully awkward meeting with Cary Grant. And I found Senator Orrin Hatch's answer intriguing; if he could change anything, he would go back and vote "yes" on creating the national holiday honoring Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. I'm sure another person would read this book and have completely different excerpts stick out to her and maybe that's the beauty of it, but it was fairly blah for me with the few highlights mentioned above.
For more book reviews, come visit my blog, Build Enough Bookshelves.
July 6, 2009
I listened to this book on CD in my car and it was great. It's a compilation of short stories from various famous people regarding what they consider to be one of the biggest (or most memorable) mistakes they've made and what they learned from them. The stories range from funny to sad, light-hearted to serious, personal and professional. This was a perfect book to listen to in the car (for me) because the stories range from 2-10 minutes so I was able to listen to them when commuting back and forth to work, or out running errands. I also feel like I got this book at a time when I was most open to some of these lessons because I sometimes wonder if I'm in the midst of what I will look back and consider one of the times in my life when I made one of my most critical mistakes and these little stories have encouraged me to look at my life and reflect on this concept and what I can do to change things.
July 14, 2012
I listened to the audiobook, and it was pleasant company for the most part. I like Charles Grodin as an actor (I highly recommend "Midnight Run", my favorite film of both Grodin and Robert DeNiro), but I don't think he's best-suited to voiceover work. Another reviewer said it seemed like he was yelling though his parts (Marion Grodin voices the entries from women), and I have to agree.
It was interesting listening to anecdotes from other people's lives, but I don't guess I learned anything I didn't already know from making my own mistakes in life - when you care about someone, let them know, don't be afraid to take chances, be true to yourself, honesty is the best policy. It did start me thinking, not only about mistakes I'd made, but about the times when I actually did the right thing, and made the right choice. Maybe Grodin can compile another book titled "I'm So Glad I Did That."
It was interesting listening to anecdotes from other people's lives, but I don't guess I learned anything I didn't already know from making my own mistakes in life - when you care about someone, let them know, don't be afraid to take chances, be true to yourself, honesty is the best policy. It did start me thinking, not only about mistakes I'd made, but about the times when I actually did the right thing, and made the right choice. Maybe Grodin can compile another book titled "I'm So Glad I Did That."
September 9, 2011
Found this browsing and thought it might be good for my morning commute.* It was decent. Some stories were great, some were OK, a few were eh. I wish more were funnier. I'm glad I only listened to a few at a time; longer chunks bummed me out.
I don't mean to say the book is a downer. It isn't, mostly. But, I'm a worrier. Listening to stories where I know something is going to go wrong stresses me out. Like I said, I wish more would have been lighthearted.
A note on the audio: I like Grodin, but half the time his reading felt like yelling. Could have been an enunciation thing or him trying to stress points, but it was enough to bother me.
*I've got 20 minutes each way, plus four minutes at lunch when I change buildings. With regular books, it's just enough to get into the book and be frustrated that I have to stop.
I don't mean to say the book is a downer. It isn't, mostly. But, I'm a worrier. Listening to stories where I know something is going to go wrong stresses me out. Like I said, I wish more would have been lighthearted.
A note on the audio: I like Grodin, but half the time his reading felt like yelling. Could have been an enunciation thing or him trying to stress points, but it was enough to bother me.
*I've got 20 minutes each way, plus four minutes at lunch when I change buildings. With regular books, it's just enough to get into the book and be frustrated that I have to stop.
April 29, 2010
Charles Grodin asked a whole bunch of people he knew for stories.
The one that I thought was really funny was from Lorretta Swit. She played Hotlips Hoolihan on the M*A*S*H* TV show. She described coming to Hollywood young and virginal. She was completely in love with Marlon Brando and met and hung out with him several times. He hit on her and tried to get her into bed, but she refused because she was young and afraid and had never done that before. Her biggest regret was not sleeping with Marlon Brando when he was young and gorgeous.
It was a fun read, but Charles Grodin looks horible on the cover. It's like they tried to air brush all his wrinkles away and left him looking like someone wearing a Charles Grodin mask.
The one that I thought was really funny was from Lorretta Swit. She played Hotlips Hoolihan on the M*A*S*H* TV show. She described coming to Hollywood young and virginal. She was completely in love with Marlon Brando and met and hung out with him several times. He hit on her and tried to get her into bed, but she refused because she was young and afraid and had never done that before. Her biggest regret was not sleeping with Marlon Brando when he was young and gorgeous.
It was a fun read, but Charles Grodin looks horible on the cover. It's like they tried to air brush all his wrinkles away and left him looking like someone wearing a Charles Grodin mask.
December 5, 2014
A group of short essays- mostly by Grodin's show business friends and their friends, mostly about mistakes they made. I can't say I learned anything earthshaking, but some of the stories were moving (others less so, of course).
My favorite: Alan Alda's story about how, when questioning scientists for a TV program, he was so overprepared that he got in the way of the scientists instead of (in his words) "letting the other person change me." My least favorite: a story about someone who missed an opportunity to buy a condo, urging readers to "Buy something as soon as you possibly can"- a moral that seemed non-stupid when the book was written (2007) but in much of the U.S. now seems about as wise as "get your government to invade Iraq as soon as it possibly can."
My favorite: Alan Alda's story about how, when questioning scientists for a TV program, he was so overprepared that he got in the way of the scientists instead of (in his words) "letting the other person change me." My least favorite: a story about someone who missed an opportunity to buy a condo, urging readers to "Buy something as soon as you possibly can"- a moral that seemed non-stupid when the book was written (2007) but in much of the U.S. now seems about as wise as "get your government to invade Iraq as soon as it possibly can."
April 24, 2012
This book is a collection of stories (or mistakes) from some pretty significant people in politics and hollywood. I was bored by some of the stories (like Rosie O'Donnell - seriously still wondering why she was asked to write for this book....), but if I got anything out of this quick little read it was the mistake that Ben Stiller made by dropping out of college. It is something he regrets, or a mistake he made in his life. His story really struck a nerve with me. Therefore, I'm glad I read this book just so I could hear his story. (It also puts another check on my list of why I like Ben Stiller - he should write his own book. I would read it for sure!)
April 18, 2016
This was a good book with a mixture of valuable advice from a variety of interesting people...unfortunately, it seemed a bit dated for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty old, however I had to google more than half of the people in this book because I'd never heard of them before. Don't let that deter you from reading it, though - it still provided a lot of laughs, cringes and lessons worth hearing. I definitely don't want to see this book go away however I would love to see an updated version with, perhaps, a younger pool of advisors mixed in with some oldies but goodies.
January 14, 2008
Pete got me this book for Christmas, because of my childhood crush on Charles Grodin (it's true).
Interesting compilation of vignettes...though I would say out of the whole book there were only seven or eight that impacted me. I am marking those for Pete to read to save him the trouble of wading through the rest.
It's clear that some of the "friends and friends of friends" took Mr. Grodin's request more seriously than others.
One bonus: all proceeds go to charity, so we did some good. :)
Interesting compilation of vignettes...though I would say out of the whole book there were only seven or eight that impacted me. I am marking those for Pete to read to save him the trouble of wading through the rest.
It's clear that some of the "friends and friends of friends" took Mr. Grodin's request more seriously than others.
One bonus: all proceeds go to charity, so we did some good. :)
March 16, 2010
The copy I READ was not an audio-book (obviously as I READ it) but goodreads only listed an audio-book option. I'm not sure if it included more/different stories as two that were mentioned in the synopsis were unfamiliar with me although I remembered the rest clearly. The two I did not remember seemed like they WOULD have been memorable too. They were the ones on Irwin Redlener and Dr. Nicholas Perricone. Good book that is easy to read.
August 25, 2015
This audiobook would have been so much better if each contributor narrated their own contribution chapter. Parts of this book were very good while others not-so-much. A compilation book like this, is only as good as the contributions which have been provided. I was hopeful to get so much more meaning from this book. I am glad I took time to listen to it.
June 14, 2015
This is a nice idea, but a pretty boring collection of celebrities recalling a big mistake they've made and the lessons they've learned from it. The quality varies widely, but the proceeds did go to support one of Grodin's charities.
January 30, 2008
Entertaining, easy to read. Some of the writers' stories were better than others.
February 14, 2008
This is a great book because you learn so much about life from the mistakes of so many the people who contributed to the book.
June 6, 2008
I liked this book of life lessons. Some of the contributors enjoyed the excercise and most were interesting and fun
October 9, 2008
I did not read every entry. It was interesting to know the mistakes that successful people have made and that they own up to.
January 22, 2009
Easy to put down.
Want to read
May 3, 2009Looking forward to this one, I really liked his previous book called It would be so nice if you weren't here...
January 20, 2011
This was an easy read but I was a bit bored with the way some of the stories were presented.
October 9, 2011
I did not know that Peter Falk had eye cancer at age three and always wore a glass eye. He had a very good attitude about it that reminded me of my grandson Jordan.
April 2, 2014
I especially liked Arianna Huffington's story
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews