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The Attachment. Letters From A Most Unlikely Friendship
Dear Ailsa, Sometimes I wonder whether the friendship that has caught us both-a most unlikely friendship I must confess-might find an echo in a far off Irish village somewhere in the wild, windy hills of old Donegal. Or am I allowing that uncontrollable imagination of mine too much slack?
This is the story of an unlikely friendship.
When priest and Sydneysider Tony Doherty emailed Melbourne-based writer and performer Ailsa Piper to say how much he had enjoyed her latest book, he was met with a swift reply from a similarly enquiring mind. Soon emails were flying back and forth and back again. They exchanged stories of their experiences as sweaty pilgrims and dissected dinner party menus. They shared their delight in Mary Oliver's poetry and wrestled with what it means to love and to grieve. This energetic exchange of words, questions and ideas grew into an unexpected but treasured friendship.
Collected here is that correspondence, brimming with empathy, humour and a fierce curiosity about each other and the worlds, shoes and histories that they inhabit. Described by one reader as 'a demonstration of how to have a conversation and a friendship', The Attachment is an intriguing, entertaining and moving celebration of family, faith, connection-even the correct time of day to enjoy rhubarb.
Dear Tony, Funny how our ears tune in to things. How our priorities shift based on who and what we know. How we come to care about such abstract or remote things through the experience of another. Lovely, somehow, but so serendipitous. All the other things we might care about. All that we might have missed had we not stopped to care for this person. I'm glad we stopped for each other.
'To read this book is to be present at the unfurling of a tender friendship between two thoughtful, compassionate humans, and like all the best collections of letters it's also a discursive wander through life's big questions. It will make you grateful for what you have, while urging you to seize the day with the people you love… It will make you want to write good ones. I will read this book again and again.' Charlotte Wood, Stella Prize-winning author of The Natural Way of Things
'...captures the intoxication of being swept into a new and deeply nourishing friendship. It fizzes with joy and humour, wrestles with agonising questions, always anchored in compassion and wisdom.' Debra Oswald, author of Useful
'The Attachment made me want to notice my world, love my world, shape it into words. It is a book about friendship but more than that, these two letter-writers--these unlikely friends--are mature enough to know the value of the moment, the value of friendship, how precious and fleeting life is... I was moved, and surprised, and completed the book in a veil of tears...The book enriched me, and inspired me.' Sofie Laguna, Miles Franklin award-winning author of The Eye of the Sheep
'From the first seed of recognition, the feverish exchange of ideas and confidences to a deep and abiding appreciation, The Attachment is a candid, illuminating journey into the heart of a profound and unexpected friendship, and a testament to the art of correspondence.' Kat Stewart, actor
'...the chronicle of an unlikely but beautiful friendship that will inspire you to value your own friendships more highly, and to nurture them more carefully.' Hugh Mackay, author of Beyond Belief
This is the story of an unlikely friendship.
When priest and Sydneysider Tony Doherty emailed Melbourne-based writer and performer Ailsa Piper to say how much he had enjoyed her latest book, he was met with a swift reply from a similarly enquiring mind. Soon emails were flying back and forth and back again. They exchanged stories of their experiences as sweaty pilgrims and dissected dinner party menus. They shared their delight in Mary Oliver's poetry and wrestled with what it means to love and to grieve. This energetic exchange of words, questions and ideas grew into an unexpected but treasured friendship.
Collected here is that correspondence, brimming with empathy, humour and a fierce curiosity about each other and the worlds, shoes and histories that they inhabit. Described by one reader as 'a demonstration of how to have a conversation and a friendship', The Attachment is an intriguing, entertaining and moving celebration of family, faith, connection-even the correct time of day to enjoy rhubarb.
Dear Tony, Funny how our ears tune in to things. How our priorities shift based on who and what we know. How we come to care about such abstract or remote things through the experience of another. Lovely, somehow, but so serendipitous. All the other things we might care about. All that we might have missed had we not stopped to care for this person. I'm glad we stopped for each other.
'To read this book is to be present at the unfurling of a tender friendship between two thoughtful, compassionate humans, and like all the best collections of letters it's also a discursive wander through life's big questions. It will make you grateful for what you have, while urging you to seize the day with the people you love… It will make you want to write good ones. I will read this book again and again.' Charlotte Wood, Stella Prize-winning author of The Natural Way of Things
'...captures the intoxication of being swept into a new and deeply nourishing friendship. It fizzes with joy and humour, wrestles with agonising questions, always anchored in compassion and wisdom.' Debra Oswald, author of Useful
'The Attachment made me want to notice my world, love my world, shape it into words. It is a book about friendship but more than that, these two letter-writers--these unlikely friends--are mature enough to know the value of the moment, the value of friendship, how precious and fleeting life is... I was moved, and surprised, and completed the book in a veil of tears...The book enriched me, and inspired me.' Sofie Laguna, Miles Franklin award-winning author of The Eye of the Sheep
'From the first seed of recognition, the feverish exchange of ideas and confidences to a deep and abiding appreciation, The Attachment is a candid, illuminating journey into the heart of a profound and unexpected friendship, and a testament to the art of correspondence.' Kat Stewart, actor
'...the chronicle of an unlikely but beautiful friendship that will inspire you to value your own friendships more highly, and to nurture them more carefully.' Hugh Mackay, author of Beyond Belief
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First published March 29, 2017
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
December 19, 2018
This book contains emails between Ailsa Piper, an author, and Tony Doherty, an 80 year old Catholic priest. It all started when Tony sent Ailsa an email saying how much he had enjoyed her recent book. They began to correspond, and talked about anything, and everything. Turns out they were well suited to each other, and became solid friends. Eventually, they had in-person meetings and, of course, wrote this book together.
I enjoyed reading the thoughts they shared with each other, as both of them are deep thinkers, and adept at the art of writing.
3 Stars = Okay. It was worth reading.
I enjoyed reading the thoughts they shared with each other, as both of them are deep thinkers, and adept at the art of writing.
3 Stars = Okay. It was worth reading.
March 17, 2017
What an unexpected pleasure this book turned out to be! I was given it to read in preparation to the panel I'm chairing, and Tony Doherty is one of the speakers. This book contains no small talk - it is all about the big stuff in life. Death, grief, friendship, writing and more and more.
August 8, 2017
Want to read a book of letters between two unlikely friends, and enjoy a wonderful read? If so, read The Attachment, by Ailsa Piper who is 57 and Tony Doherty is 82. They are not only different in sex and age, but also in their beliefs, chosen career and pastimes. Back in 2012, Ailsa wrote Sinning Across Spain - about her 1300 km pilgrimage from Granada to Galicia, carrying other people sins. Tony read the book, sends a letter of appreciation, and hence the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Fair enough you say, but Aisla is agnostic in her beliefs and married to Peter. Tony is a Catholic Priest and is married to the Church. However, they are able to connect over letters on vaious matters from love, death, grief, sins such as child abuse in the Catholic Church; and other meaningful questions of life. They bond, they are 'companeros', and break bread together. A very satisfying read.
November 22, 2018
This book is deceptive as it appears to be quite light-weight to start but covers some big topics as it goes on. It led me to reflect on my own Caminoes and my life and my relationships and not many books can do that.It helps that the two authors are quite open and honest with each other (and with us).
November 7, 2018
The Attachment is the unlikely friendship forged through correspondence of an actress/writer and a priest. Ailsa and Tony first bond over her book where she walked a pilgrim trail through Spain (my goal!). Their friendship grew from there with discussions about life, death, family, the past and religion. I’ll be passing this one on to my Aunt who is walking the Camino in September.
September 8, 2018
Not my type of book
October 6, 2018
tried to, but couldn’t finish it. some interesting point of views but a bit repetitive and boring.
April 25, 2019
I didn't really 'get' this collection of letters between two dear friends.
March 20, 2018
Reading this book is a rare privilege, as reader being an observer of an extraordinary relationship between two apparently different people, who find a deep attachment around spirituality, culture and friendship.
Although not topics I usually think about, I learnt a lot about essentials of spirituality, about explanations of Tony's God to the world, about the worst and best of humanity. I was brought to notice aspects of myself I'd like to improve, by their example.
I learnt about how those (e.g. priests) who spend their lives helping others in times of deep emotions, find strength and purpose. I was pushed into considering the meaning of our existence, confirming my frequent conclusion - we can at least celebrate the love, the struggle and the achievements of people.
I was intrigued by Ailsa Piper's ability to encompass a broad love for many others, parallel and perhaps part of, a deep marriage. I also questioned the assumption that it is a good thing to struggle to find the true self versus the false self. It seems to ask all of us to be a pilgrim in life.
I was glad I'd read her book "Sinning Across Spain" first. These letters helped understand much of that pilgrimage.
Although not topics I usually think about, I learnt a lot about essentials of spirituality, about explanations of Tony's God to the world, about the worst and best of humanity. I was brought to notice aspects of myself I'd like to improve, by their example.
I learnt about how those (e.g. priests) who spend their lives helping others in times of deep emotions, find strength and purpose. I was pushed into considering the meaning of our existence, confirming my frequent conclusion - we can at least celebrate the love, the struggle and the achievements of people.
I was intrigued by Ailsa Piper's ability to encompass a broad love for many others, parallel and perhaps part of, a deep marriage. I also questioned the assumption that it is a good thing to struggle to find the true self versus the false self. It seems to ask all of us to be a pilgrim in life.
I was glad I'd read her book "Sinning Across Spain" first. These letters helped understand much of that pilgrimage.
October 28, 2021
What a remarkable book! Perhaps one of the standouts from the books I have read so far this year.
I am in awe of Tony and Ailsa feeling free to share a year of their personal correspondence. It gave me the opportunity to think about things through a different lens. The individual explainers between 'chapters' helped put some of the conversation into context.
The seanchaí and the priest, but it seems that those roles interchanged throughout the book.
For me this this was a book on love and of death and grief, particularly with the revelations at the end. For me personally, some of it was hard to read having recently lived through death and the ongoing grief of a loved one.
Since the initial correspondence was prompted by a book, "Sinning across Spain : walking the Camino", written by Ailsa Piper, and also mentioned and discussed throughout this book, I am eager to read that one too.
I am in awe of Tony and Ailsa feeling free to share a year of their personal correspondence. It gave me the opportunity to think about things through a different lens. The individual explainers between 'chapters' helped put some of the conversation into context.
The seanchaí and the priest, but it seems that those roles interchanged throughout the book.
For me this this was a book on love and of death and grief, particularly with the revelations at the end. For me personally, some of it was hard to read having recently lived through death and the ongoing grief of a loved one.
Since the initial correspondence was prompted by a book, "Sinning across Spain : walking the Camino", written by Ailsa Piper, and also mentioned and discussed throughout this book, I am eager to read that one too.
February 20, 2019
I was surprisingly impressed with this read.
I wasn't exactly sure why I picked it up, but it was at a writer's festival. You get a little caught up in the atmosphere :)
A priest was given the gift of a 'travel memoir' effectively; but with a difference. The author was on a camino pilgrimage, carrying the burden of other people's sin. He was inspired to contact her and so began a friendship and much intelligent and sometimes philosophical conversation (mainly via email letters).
I did find myself self-judging as usual, comparing and grumping about highly motivated go-getter types, but also thinking 'good on them for being confident and involved in life'.
Really, worth the read. An interesting and engaging perspective on other lives and how to interact comfortably with people, even if you don't always agree. Although, they find that they share a lot of 'coincidences'.
I wasn't exactly sure why I picked it up, but it was at a writer's festival. You get a little caught up in the atmosphere :)
A priest was given the gift of a 'travel memoir' effectively; but with a difference. The author was on a camino pilgrimage, carrying the burden of other people's sin. He was inspired to contact her and so began a friendship and much intelligent and sometimes philosophical conversation (mainly via email letters).
I did find myself self-judging as usual, comparing and grumping about highly motivated go-getter types, but also thinking 'good on them for being confident and involved in life'.
Really, worth the read. An interesting and engaging perspective on other lives and how to interact comfortably with people, even if you don't always agree. Although, they find that they share a lot of 'coincidences'.
December 29, 2017
I dipped in and out of this book over many months. It was a pleasure to do so. I do not think. I would have appreciated reading it straight, in a way I read it like I used to deal in letters when. I lived overseas for two years.
Thoughtful conversations over different topics, because the walker of the Camino trail carrying sins of others, met and then started writing to a priest who wrote back. They developed a friendship of words and thoughts, gathered here into a book. Did. I always agree with how they read situations,no,but did they give me different ways to think about things,to allow me to continue in my own musings and evaluations of life situations, YES. That is what made the reading of this book worthwhile, as for any book, but this one in particular.
Thoughtful conversations over different topics, because the walker of the Camino trail carrying sins of others, met and then started writing to a priest who wrote back. They developed a friendship of words and thoughts, gathered here into a book. Did. I always agree with how they read situations,no,but did they give me different ways to think about things,to allow me to continue in my own musings and evaluations of life situations, YES. That is what made the reading of this book worthwhile, as for any book, but this one in particular.
November 16, 2021
Totally different to Sinning across Spain; a friendship between a actress/author and a priest, documented through their collection of emails. Quite philosophical, with theological discussion, but embracing the joys of literature and good company. Dealing with the justifiable grief and distress over the sexual abuse within the Catholic Church forms a significant portion of the conversation, and you’d have to think it intrudes into Ailsa’s cogitations about faith. Very effective depiction of ‘Sydney’ sensibility, and I love Ailsa’s retelling in fine detail of the joy of hosting a dinner party for her friends.
May 14, 2019
I am listening to the audio read by Ailsa and Tony. It is moving, thought-provoking and so emotionally raw that I sometimes just have to sit still and let the book happen to me. Hearing their words in their own voices adds to the intimate experience and I somehow feel part of this special friendship. I love their insights and how they bring their personal histories to life. It has given me a new perspective on Celtic as well as Australian history.
A truly lovely experience.
A truly lovely experience.
February 13, 2019
This is the most beautiful book I have ever read. I loved every careful word. It is the letters / communication between Ailsa Piper and Tony Doherty. Even they thought they were an unlikely pairing, but their gentle words, laughter, tears and search to an understanding of life expressed in this collection of communications is heartfelt and wondrous. I devoured in in a day.
December 21, 2020
To say a book is inspirational is a bit cliched these days, yet it was inspiring. As a person who loves the old and almost forgotten art of letter writing, I just loved the banter between these "unlikely friends."
It was the energy of Ailsa and Tony that kept me invigorated throughout their exchanges and the highs and lows of their lively discussions.
It was the energy of Ailsa and Tony that kept me invigorated throughout their exchanges and the highs and lows of their lively discussions.
July 24, 2022
I enjoyed this very much. It includes letters between a 57yo writer and 83yo priest after they connect via their mutual interest in the Camino (both have walked parts of it). They become close friends and write about life, spirituality, grief, loss and so much more. I plan to look up Piper's previous book 'Sinning across Spain' now.
May 31, 2025
Totally pretentious waffle. They love using words like “trifle” and “awfully” like they’re Jeeves and Wooster. It’s obviously not for me and if it wasn’t for the testimonial by Hugh Mackay I wouldn’t have bought it.
If you’re elderly and middle class and have time to waste then this book is for you.
If you’re elderly and middle class and have time to waste then this book is for you.
July 1, 2017
I loved this book! So Inspiring! It was a gift to share such a beautiful friendship with the reader!
September 10, 2017
Listen to the audio book.
December 30, 2017
This is a beautiful gentle book that has inspired me to resume letter writing.
February 5, 2018
Melanie 2018
June 4, 2018
Our book club book of the month.
What a pleasure, a wonderful friendship.
What a pleasure, a wonderful friendship.
September 3, 2018
A correspondence between two people whose relationship begins with the gift of a book and grows into a deep, warm and supportive friendship. This book was an unexpected pleasure.
January 7, 2019
This book helped me open up again and taught me alot about unlikely friendships and life. Thank you to both of them for been so willing to open up their private letters.
October 31, 2019
So sweet. I loved it.
November 8, 2021
I loved this book. A trail of emails between two very unlikely correspondents who become firm friends after linking up through Ailsa’s book about walking The Camino.
May 15, 2024
Was gifted this book. Found it very boring and repetitive. Very hard to finish and glad to put it down.
September 5, 2020
So enjoyable. Note to self; write more letters.
December 26, 2019
What an interesting honest story.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews