A Ticket to the Circus: A Memoir

by Norris Church Mailer

A great American love story, this warm, funny, revealing memoir introduces the world to Norman Mailer’s greatest inspiration, his wife of more than thirty years. Like Zelda Fitzgerald before her, Norris Church Mailer has led a life as large and as colorful as her husband’s—and every bit as engaging.

Growing up a strict Free Will Baptist in the South of the 1950s, Norris Church, christened Barbara Jean Davis, was crowned “Little Miss Little Rock” at the age of three and always knew that life had more to offer her than the comforts of small-town Arkansas. But she could never have guessed that in her early twenties she would date future president Bill Clinton (and predict his national victory even after he lost his first run for Congress), or that the following year she would meet Norman Mailer, who was passing through town giving a lecture at the local college. They fell in love in one night—and their marriage lasted thirty-three years.

Despite her enduring love for the man, Norris found life with the writer full of challenges—from carving out her own niche in the wake of five ex-wives and numerous former girlfriends, to easing her way into the hearts of her seven stepchildren, to negotiating the ferocious world of Mailer’s fame, friends, and literary life. The couple’s New York parties were legendary, and their social circle included such luminaries as Muhammad Ali, Jacqueline Kennedy, Truman Capote, Gore Vidal, and Imelda Marcos.

Their decades-long obsession with each other, as seen in the intimate letters that Norris reveals here for the first time, was not without tests and infidelities; theirs was a marriage full of friendship, betrayal, doubts, understanding, and deep, complicated, lifelong passion.

With southern charm and wit, Norris Church Mailer depicts the full evolution of her life, from her childhood all the way through her intense marriage with Norman and his heartbreaking death. This unforgettable memoir will enchant readers with its honesty and insight into how we grow up and how we love.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Autobiography, History, Book Club, Family

416 pages, Hardcover

First published April 6, 2010

About the author

Best known as the last spouse (and then widow) of writer Norman Mailer.

Reviews

[Trish · Rating 2 out of 5]

I never write reviews, but I feel compelled to write one for this. This book has gotten rave reviews and I cannot figure out why. Norris Mailer comes across as selfish, deluited and as a doormat to her husband of more than 30 years. The man fucked everything that moved and she just put up with it. And claims theirs was a great love affair. She put her wants and desires before her kids and chose a father who wasn't a very good role model. Of course it's not my business. I don't know her and certainly can't judge her. But the book just annoyed me and I wanted to warn others.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating memoir from Norman Mailer's sixth (and longest-running) wife. This is a woman destined to sleep with greatness, I think, given as a small town Arkansas teacher she had sex with both Norman Mailer and Bill Clinton. I love how, many decades later, after the Lewinsky scandal broke some guy says to Norris, guess you're the only person in Arkansas he never slept with and she has to admit, "I’m afraid he got us all." In any case, I enjoyed her writing style and the ups and downs involved with being a part of Norman Mailer's life. She doesn't really make any apologies for his atrocious behavior and she is certainly no angel. I like memoirs that are scintillating yet don't make excuses and this is certainly one of them. Also, one of the best parts is how well-functioning the highly dysfunctional extended Mailer family (many kids, lots of wives) becomes. Norris Mailer really seemed the center of a family that included many ex-wives, included one she replaced. Oh and I'd be remiss not to mention Norman had a penchant for head-butting people who irritated him. He also stabbed a previous wife with a pen. This memoir is chocked full of such tidbits, mentioned off-handedly. If your husband head-butted Gore Vidal in public and it gets like only one sentence of your book you know you lead an interesting life.

[Paula Gallagher · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will forever be haunted by images of Mailer's hairy body and soccerball-like stomach.

[Judith · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a memoir by the last of the many wives of Norman Mailer. It was interesting and fun for a light read. What's really amazing about this book is that it's not a "tell-all", though it clearly could have been. She saw his many flaws, but she also saw his greatness and she loved him, though he cheated on her (well, duh.)
They had such an interesting life and she describes their adventures, including a trip to Cuba and a day spent with Castro, as well as parties with Jackie Kennedy and all of NYC society. But she also describes their day to day happy family life and she speaks with real affection of all the children in their blended family, (i think he had a child or two with each of his 7 wives) and of their summers at the shore. She wrote an interesting book and still managed not to criticize anyone. I usually am not fond of people who seem overly nice, but she seems like a nice person and still has a good story to tell without villainizing anyone.

[Anne Milford · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been on a huge memoir kick this year. I saw an article about Norris Church (and this book) in the NYT magazine and was shocked by a few stories she shared about her husband, the late Norman Mailer. It was classic "Wrong Guy" behavior. What was more fascinating to me was how sweet and likable Norris was. Who was this person who was able to draw 7 step-children together from 5 different mothers and create a family?

I really enjoyed this book. Although I would not want anyone I cared about to be treated this way. I wont go into details, but I don't think the excitement and adventure of their lifestyle outweighed Norman Mailer's ego and selfish behavior.

I also don't think it is fair to "review" or pass judgment on someone's life...So I will just say that this book offered an intriguing peek into the life of a "literary lion" and his family. As far as Norris goes, I think she was the most interesting character of all. She seemed very sweet and likable. She was funny, warm, and engaging. I would love to sit down and have a cup of coffee with her --no make that several glasses of wine--and learn more about her marriage.

Of course, I view everything through the lens of right guy vs. wrong guy. This book reminded me that everything is not always so black and white.

[Lynn Kearney · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I needed reminding why I've always disliked Norman Mailer, this book does it for me. She, on the other hand, is interesting, likeable and bright, apart from her major lapse in judgment in marrying N.M.

[Jeff Bursey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Competently written; not anywhere close to being an essential (auto)biography.

[Nicole Rea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of ridiculous at times; she talks about minute details of her life that I can't imagine anyone would really have any desire to know. But maybe that was just me. She also seems to give Norman Mailer *WAY TOO MUCH* slack for his perpetual infidelities and overall asshole-ness. He comes across as a coddled child, but she's okay with that apparently, because that's "just him." Gross.

An interesting read, though, overall. Her writing style is incredibly conversational (lots of asides in parentheses, like this) and easy going, and she has some funny anecdotes about the literary world and the circles she and he ran in back in the day. It's kind of sad, but also kind of good, that big authors apparently used to be treated like today's big film stars--all over the tabloids, personal lives on display, people actually gave a damn about them, etc. I can't imagine anyone caring about who Dave Eggers was seen with last weekend, or who Audrey Niffenegger is dating now. Which is obviously good, but I think also shows a general shift in what society values as a whole, and that is, I think, not-so-good.

Enjoyed one particular story about Hunter S. Thompson showing up at 6am the morning after a party and demanding pancakes after everyone else had gone home. The bits about Norman's complicated relationship with Gore Vidal were also intriguing. And love that Mailer was caught with a small bit of forgotten marijuana in his suitcase once on an international flight and was essentially held down and full body strip searched at every airport he entered from that point on for the rest of his life. Awesome.

[Bookmarks Magazine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This candid, entertaining memoir proves that Norman Mailer wasn't the only talented writer in the family. Norris unveils her life story with warmth, wit, and grit, despite some occasionally precious prose. While a few critics were disturbed by Norris's stated willingness to stifle her individuality and ambitions to please her temperamental husband, her frankness in sharing many of the grim and often humiliating particulars won them over, and she provides plenty of juicy details about Norman and his contemporaries. Skimming over his body of work, Norris paints an affectionate, if unappealing, portrait of Mailer as husband and father, and A Ticket to the Circus is a love story, as well as "both guilty pleasure and good read" (Cleveland Plain Dealer). This is an excerpt from a review published in Bookmarks magazine.

[Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

Autogiography has to be the most difficult genre to write. Too easily, writers abuse the first person singular, and "Then I did," or a variation on same can start every sentence. Ticket to the Circus suffers from this problem. It's an interesting story, but there is *WAY TOO MUCH* of the first personal pronoun. The author's husband, Norman Mailer, pronounced the book *not as bad as I thought it would be."* The words of a very loving husband. A tougher critic would have been more harsh. There's a great story under this disapointing read. It's really very sad: both the book and the writing of it. Norman Mailer, a brilliant writer, deserved a brilliantly written story by his last wife, the woman who knew him well for 30 years. Looking forward to a biography that's better than the autobiog.

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honest, gripping memoir from the last wife of Norman Mailer who, by herself, is an amazingly talented artist, actress, and writer.

Theirs is not the all-American love story, but it is an accurate portrayal of two people struggling to reconcile their differences, forgive betrayals, and embrace each other "for better or for worse."

The humanity in this book is worth reading. Norris has a gift of the artist's eye for the perfect image. Her style is very different than Mailer's, but it is engaging and moving all the same.

If you are looking for a great memoir about what it means to try to love the one you married for over 30 years, this is the book for you. There are no easy answers, but a lot of sharing and caring and honesty from a woman who has been there and done that.

[Rene · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story was not at all what I was expecting, based on the title. However, having reached the end of the book, it's an apt title.
I was propelled through the story to the end, always curious as to what would happen, a little amazed/shocked/doubtful about attitudes toward sexual relationships and love. Norris often states how there were things she really despised about her husband, but there were more things she loved. She had a lot of stamina and personal strength to keep going throughout her life. Considering the many sexual encounters in the book, it didn't strike me as too graphic. It seemed that she was able to pull the family together and even form friendships (at least at some level) with some of the former 5 wives of Norman Mailer.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Norman Mailer was married six times and this book is written by his sixth and final wife Norris Church Mailer. I wasn't sure if I'd like this book (considering he's the author, not her). But I was pleasantly surprised, the book was well written.

I thought this was a VERY entertaining and touching memoir written in an honest and frank voice.

Because of Norman's relentless cheating, some people did not like this book because they couldn't comprehend why Norris stayed with Norman -- but I disagree. I think relationships are complicated. The author never made excuses for her husband's behavior, and after learning about his infidelities she said "she took a step back from him" and they both chose to continue with their marriage to the best of their ability.

[Jenn Jurisprudence · Rating 3 out of 5]

So obviously Norman was the writer in the family. In spite of her lack of writing skill, Ms. Church Mailer manages to tell an interesting story. It couldn't have been easy , being married to a guy like NM and yet Ms. CM gives readers some insight into those difficulties without sounding bitter or resentful. Mostly it seems like everyone in Norman's life, including his kids, took a backseat to whatever his needs were. Kudos to Ms. CM for being able to put up with a huge fathead like that for 30+ years.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

After struggling to read a biography of Wallis Simpson--about whom I could find no redeeming qualities whatsoever--I picked this one up and found it much more enjoyable. Mailer, who died late last year after the book was published, was a much more likable, salt-of-the-earth heroine than Simpson and her memoir was fun and gossipy and self-deprecating without being the least bit catty. She seems like the stepmother that everyone would want to have (she was to Norman Mailer's seven children and had two sons of her own--one with Mailer).

[Deodand · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admire the author's fantastic ability to compartmentalize her life. There are a lot of places where she recounts something that may not have agreed with her inner compass, and she finishes with "...but I don't think about that" or some variant. She doesn't seem concerned about rehashing things that happened in Norman Mailer's life previous to her arrival, or about providing excuses or insight about her own issues. These things kind of just happened.

She also seems to have had an epic amount of patience.

[Kim · Rating 1 out of 5]

I blab blab blab I'm so wonderful and famous....then I blab blab blab....blab I sleep with Norman Mailer....I'm a model blab blab blab.....I met blab blab....Then I blab blab....I was so clever blab blab blab

The apartment was a circus with a trapeze in the living room and a bunch of kids raising themselves. She was just the last in a long line of young women he used and discarded. It was very sad to me. I couldn't read anymore, it isn't a love story about a great man or a memoir of an interesting person. its pathetic.

[Larissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I sort of hate the Mailers as people. I don't agree with their lifestyle choices nor general attitude towards life, however, putting my personal feelings aside, it sure was interesting. I think most people actually live pretty interesting lives if you break it down by chronological anecdotes. It does sort of make me want to read Mailer's work--in all honesty, I never have. But based on what his 6th and final wife wrote about him, he must have a tremendous imagination. The personal photographs sprinkled throughout the book were a nice touch, by the way.

[Roberta · Rating 3 out of 5]

A long, detailed,and humorous memoir of life with well-known author Norman Mailer written by his 6th wife, Norris. Their 30 year marriage contained some crazy drama, and yet they loved their families and the many children between them, most of whom went on to creative careers. I most enjoyed reading about the famous people they hung out with. Norris, for example, worked on Bill Clinton's campaign for governor in Arkansas. There are interesting reflections on his powerful personality and their relationship.

[Althea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Norris Church Mailer must be a saint to have lived with Norman Mailer for thirty years or so. She comes off as a genuine, real-life small town girl who became famous mostly because of her marriage to a well-known writer. However, she did, in fact, have a career (or careers really) of her own. It's interesting to see how she handled it all, especially toward the end of Mailer's life when she was dealing with multiple cancers and at the same time taking care of her husband and her mother. She is a class act.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an unexpectedly good memoir, written by Norman Mailer's widow (the last of his six wives). In the introduction, she writes "...I bought a ticket to the circus. I don't know why I was surprised to see elephants" and that is a concise summary of the book.

Mailer was indeed an elephant among mice in the literary world and this work is a loving, but unblinkingly candid, portrait of him.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Its been a long time since reading Norman Mailer's Tough Guys & Harlot's Ghost. I know I liked them both. I also read Windchill Summer about ten years ago, just to see if Mailer's wife was a good author in her own right. She is. This memoir was both funny and sad, honest and admirable. Along the same line as the Paris Wife & Loving Frank, it would be hard to love these womenizers, but their talents and vibrant persona make them irresistable to the women who love them

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoir by the late Norris Church Mailer, widow of literary icon, Norman Mailer. It's a love story between two extraordinary individuals--their passion for each other and the rocks in their road along the way. Talented and stunningly beautiful, Norris Church Mailer shares a view inside their interesting and often glittering lives, while never completely losing the funny, down-to-earth Arkansas girl she had been.

[Spideygirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

I knew nothing of the famous Mailer's before reading this memoir. I like memoir's and I indeed liked this book. It was well written and kept my attention.
Interesting content in this book. I don't want to comment on it though because it would be judging the people. All I can say is -I'm glad this is not my life.

[Daphne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel as though I have a greater understanding of Norman Mailer. Norris is an amazing woman. Her life is fascinating but more importantly, she writes well. I felt that she was honest and gave an intimate view of a marriage.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

i loved this memoir by norman mailer's sixth and final wife. she has an enchanting, endearing, disarmingly honest voice. i love that she admits that couldn't get into all of norman mailer's books, and that she still loves polyester.

[Katrina · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Ticket to the Circus is an enjoyable memoir by artist/writer Norris Church Mailer, wife of writer Norman Mailer. It is a very open and honest story of her life which was certainly interesting given her marriage to a larger than life and very complicated Mailer.

[Maureen Flatley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A charming, quirky memoir by Norman Mailer's widow.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating memoir, and it even made me like Norman Mailer a tiny bit more than before (which still isn't much).

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful book by a vibrant woman who generously shared her fascinating life with readers. I read this right after she passed away, and it really moved me.