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Love the One You're With
The New York Times bestselling author of Something Borrowed , Something Blue , and Baby Proof delivers another captivating novel about women and the choices that define them. This is the story for anyone who has ever How can I truly love the one I’m with when I can’t forget the one who got away? Ellen and Andy’s first year of marriage doesn’t just seem perfect, it is perfect. There is no question how deep their devotion is, and how naturally they bring out the best in each other. But one fateful afternoon, Ellen runs into Leo for the first time in eight years. Leo, the one who brought out the worst in her. Leo, the one who left her heartbroken with no explanation. Leo, the one she could never quite forget. When his reappearance ignites long-dormant emotions, Ellen begins to question whether the life she’s living is the one she’s meant to live. Love the One You’re With is a powerful story about one woman at the crossroads of true love and real life.
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First published January 1, 2008
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About the author
Emily Giffin
39 books25.8k followersEMILY GIFFIN is a graduate of Wake Forest University and the University of Virginia School of Law. The #1 New York Times bestselling author of eleven novels, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, Baby Proof, Love the One You're With, Heart of the Matter, Where We Belong, The One & Only, First Comes Love, All We Ever Wanted, The Lies That Bind, and the recently released Meant to Be, she currently lives in Atlanta with her family.
Website: www.emilygiffin.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 5,844 reviews
February 11, 2013
This book was awful. God, it was so awful. It isn't even worth a full review and so I will try to summarize it in a few lines.
Ellen: I love Andy SO SO SO MUCH!
Andy: I'm practically the epitome of a good person, and the author paints me in a way that makes me seem perfect. So yay: the story should just finish at this point.
Leo: *glances at ellen*
Ellen: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. SWOON!! No no no no no I love andy yes yes yes yes yes I love leo.
Andy: Let's move to Atlanta! Because I want to make you happy!
Ellen: Okay! I am going to completely agree to this but then make it out like you forced me to once we get there! And then, proving Emily Giffin's inability to characterize, you will suddenly become an anti-female dictator with no respect for your work. Because characters TOTALLY just flip their personalities towards the climax of the novel without any premeditation.
Leo: *glances at Ellen*
Ellen: I WILL ALWAYS LOVEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUU! But I'm still going to pick Andy and leave you hanging, although you clearly gave up your life for me.
Andy and Margot: We're going to take you back despite the fact that you're a cheating tease!
Ellen: I'm not going to give you guys ANY explanation to Leo or Andy regarding what a tease I am and won't ever tell anyone the extent of my cheating. I will justify this with three ending sentences in the novel which are supposed to be philosophical but have no actual link to the novel and is a sorry attempt on the part of Giffin to save the sorry excuse of a book.
Ellen: I love Andy SO SO SO MUCH!
Andy: I'm practically the epitome of a good person, and the author paints me in a way that makes me seem perfect. So yay: the story should just finish at this point.
Leo: *glances at ellen*
Ellen: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. SWOON!! No no no no no I love andy yes yes yes yes yes I love leo.
Andy: Let's move to Atlanta! Because I want to make you happy!
Ellen: Okay! I am going to completely agree to this but then make it out like you forced me to once we get there! And then, proving Emily Giffin's inability to characterize, you will suddenly become an anti-female dictator with no respect for your work. Because characters TOTALLY just flip their personalities towards the climax of the novel without any premeditation.
Leo: *glances at Ellen*
Ellen: I WILL ALWAYS LOVEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUU! But I'm still going to pick Andy and leave you hanging, although you clearly gave up your life for me.
Andy and Margot: We're going to take you back despite the fact that you're a cheating tease!
Ellen: I'm not going to give you guys ANY explanation to Leo or Andy regarding what a tease I am and won't ever tell anyone the extent of my cheating. I will justify this with three ending sentences in the novel which are supposed to be philosophical but have no actual link to the novel and is a sorry attempt on the part of Giffin to save the sorry excuse of a book.
July 18, 2008
I was very disappointed by this book. I really liked her other novels and found them to be quick, fun, beach-reads that still conjured up some feelings and life lessons. I felt nothing with this book except anger towards the main character and sort of annoyed at certain scenarios that were so incredibly far fetched that it made me say "Are you kidding me?" out loud. I wasn't rooting for anyone; I wasn't happy at the end of the book, or sad that it was over like I was with Something Blue. I found the story was lacking substance and that with a different spin, it could have been a much better, more believable story.
And what ex-boyfriend waltzes back in to his married ex-girlfriend's life 8 years later and thinks that he's good enough for her to leave her marriage even though they've had zero contact? I had a difficult time understanding or seeing the significance of Leo and Ellie's past relationship in order for it to have the obsession effect on her almost a decade later. I understand she was a mess when they broke up but shouldn't she have dealt with those feelings before she got married? Their interaction was minimal but when they were together, I didn't feel the intensity that she talked about so much. Which was why I felt the cheating part was so disgusting because there was nothing there. And I believe that she started cheating the moment she held hands with him on the plane - right up to the sneaky emails, texts, phone calls, and kiss scene at the end.
Even though in Something Borrowed, cheating is a main element to the story, she wrote it in such a way that you didn't hate Rachel or Dex for doing what she they were doing, instead you understood. You don't have to agree with something to understand it and that's what was lacking for me in this novel. I just felt like the story didn't go anywhere until the end and then everything happened in like a two hour span and that was that. She had all these life-changing moments squished into like three sentences.
And what ex-boyfriend waltzes back in to his married ex-girlfriend's life 8 years later and thinks that he's good enough for her to leave her marriage even though they've had zero contact? I had a difficult time understanding or seeing the significance of Leo and Ellie's past relationship in order for it to have the obsession effect on her almost a decade later. I understand she was a mess when they broke up but shouldn't she have dealt with those feelings before she got married? Their interaction was minimal but when they were together, I didn't feel the intensity that she talked about so much. Which was why I felt the cheating part was so disgusting because there was nothing there. And I believe that she started cheating the moment she held hands with him on the plane - right up to the sneaky emails, texts, phone calls, and kiss scene at the end.
Even though in Something Borrowed, cheating is a main element to the story, she wrote it in such a way that you didn't hate Rachel or Dex for doing what she they were doing, instead you understood. You don't have to agree with something to understand it and that's what was lacking for me in this novel. I just felt like the story didn't go anywhere until the end and then everything happened in like a two hour span and that was that. She had all these life-changing moments squished into like three sentences.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 27, 2008
The thing I like about Emily Giffin is that she doesn't talk down to her readers. Nor does she assume that everyone who wants to read a light, fun, chick book gives two hoots about what brand of clothing the heroine wears. Her books aren't cerebral by any means, but they're smart.
This is a story about a happily married woman who runs into the One That Got Away. The encounter brings up a host of memories and feelings and is the catalyst to a series of events that will leave her wondering if the life she's chosen is the life she was meant to have.
I thought the character of Ellen was written very well. So well, in fact, that it makes me wonder if the author has been in this situation or if a close friend of hers has. I particularly thought the fact that Ellen had lost her mother at an early age was handled very well. This aspect of Ellen's life influenced many of her decisions and gave some insight into her psyche. In almost every chapter Ellen (who is also the narrator) mentioned how much she missed her mother, and while some readers might think it was too much, it felt real to me. I've had close friends lose a parent and I know that it is something they think about every single day.
I also thought Giffin perfectly captured the nuances of a new marriage - both its simple joys and its bumps in the road. It occurred to me that unmarried readers might not fully appreciate Ellen's feelings or motivations as marriage is something you can really only understand if you've experienced it.
While the character of Ellen was superbly developed, I thought all of the supporting cast - including the husband, the ex-boyfriend, the sister, and the best friend - were lacking. Although the book is written in the first person from Ellen's perspective, I thought more could be done to make these other characters come to life. This is particularly true of the character of Margot, Ellen's best friend and sister-in-law. I just didn't care about her.
Finally, reading this book made me ache to return to New York! It wasn't about the glamour and superficiality of New York like so many "chick lit" books I've read, but I thought it really captured the essence of what NY truly is: the burroughs, the culture, the pace. The feeling of being at the center of the world.
This is a story about a happily married woman who runs into the One That Got Away. The encounter brings up a host of memories and feelings and is the catalyst to a series of events that will leave her wondering if the life she's chosen is the life she was meant to have.
I thought the character of Ellen was written very well. So well, in fact, that it makes me wonder if the author has been in this situation or if a close friend of hers has. I particularly thought the fact that Ellen had lost her mother at an early age was handled very well. This aspect of Ellen's life influenced many of her decisions and gave some insight into her psyche. In almost every chapter Ellen (who is also the narrator) mentioned how much she missed her mother, and while some readers might think it was too much, it felt real to me. I've had close friends lose a parent and I know that it is something they think about every single day.
I also thought Giffin perfectly captured the nuances of a new marriage - both its simple joys and its bumps in the road. It occurred to me that unmarried readers might not fully appreciate Ellen's feelings or motivations as marriage is something you can really only understand if you've experienced it.
While the character of Ellen was superbly developed, I thought all of the supporting cast - including the husband, the ex-boyfriend, the sister, and the best friend - were lacking. Although the book is written in the first person from Ellen's perspective, I thought more could be done to make these other characters come to life. This is particularly true of the character of Margot, Ellen's best friend and sister-in-law. I just didn't care about her.
Finally, reading this book made me ache to return to New York! It wasn't about the glamour and superficiality of New York like so many "chick lit" books I've read, but I thought it really captured the essence of what NY truly is: the burroughs, the culture, the pace. The feeling of being at the center of the world.
August 30, 2009
Possibly never have I disliked a book more than I did this one. If possible- I would give this book a negative star rating. Unfortunately goodreads will not allow me to do this. So instead I’ll describe why my initial response upon finishing this book was one of depression at the realization I’ll never get the time back in my life that I wasted reading this book. My extreme distaste for this story stems from a number of things. To begin, I pretty much hated all the characters. Every single one. Across the board they’re incredibly unlikeable and empty. Even the main character Ellen who I think we’re supposed to sympathize with, comes across as shallow. I'm incapable of feeling bad for her. When faced with picking between her wealthy, well connected husband and an ex-boyfriend from the past “the one that got away” she makes the wrong choice in my opinion. The ending of the book is predictable and entirely too neatly resolved. It left me wondering what the point of reading this was??! It will take something drastic to convince me to read another of Griffin's books again. Like maybe a natural disaster... in which I end up trapped somewhere with nothing to read but one of her books.
August 22, 2022
This is a Romance/Women's Fiction/Chick-Lit. This about Ellen fighting to find herself while fighting with herself about if she loves her old love or her new husband. I think if we are all honest with our self their is that one ex that we always wonder about. I have to say I love this book.
June 19, 2008
This was another great book by Emily Giffen staying true to her form of regular people making some tough and non-conventional choices. I both disliked, and related to Ellen. I also liked how the scope of this book covered both the modern love story (in that the one we end up with is rarely the 1st one we have loved) and how losing Andy would have meant losing so much more for Ellen.
It's hard to say what I would do if a smoldering love from the past were to appear - but as Ellie eventually found out -ex boyfriends are generally an "x" for that reason. However, someone who has broken up with you had a hold over you that isn't the same should you have broken up with them. This is something I have learned the hard way.
That said, I did not like Leo from the moment he first showed up. I agree with Margot in that he seems smug and full of himself - even years later. And while Margot didn’t have the right to make the decision she did – I understand why she did. All of Leo’s "sorrys" fall flat to me. I think Leo, always has been, and remains a very selfish man.
I thought it was interesting how Ellie wasn't sure if getting everything she wanted was pedantic, or a dream come true. I have the same internal struggle; I want a house and children. No! Wait! Too boring!
I never, ever agreed with Ellie’s choice to pursue a relationship with Leo & I firmly believe she had an affair and cheated on her husband. The plane flight, and of course when she kissed Leo. But I prayed and prayed that the title of the book would turn out to be true. Because while I understood the allure of Leo, there was never a moment I wasn’t rooting for Andy.
It's hard to say what I would do if a smoldering love from the past were to appear - but as Ellie eventually found out -ex boyfriends are generally an "x" for that reason. However, someone who has broken up with you had a hold over you that isn't the same should you have broken up with them. This is something I have learned the hard way.
That said, I did not like Leo from the moment he first showed up. I agree with Margot in that he seems smug and full of himself - even years later. And while Margot didn’t have the right to make the decision she did – I understand why she did. All of Leo’s "sorrys" fall flat to me. I think Leo, always has been, and remains a very selfish man.
I thought it was interesting how Ellie wasn't sure if getting everything she wanted was pedantic, or a dream come true. I have the same internal struggle; I want a house and children. No! Wait! Too boring!
I never, ever agreed with Ellie’s choice to pursue a relationship with Leo & I firmly believe she had an affair and cheated on her husband. The plane flight, and of course when she kissed Leo. But I prayed and prayed that the title of the book would turn out to be true. Because while I understood the allure of Leo, there was never a moment I wasn’t rooting for Andy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 28, 2016
2.5 stars.
Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.
I've done it. I've now read all of Emily Giffin's novels (so far). I avoided this one for a while though, because from the description, you get a bit of a feeling that it might deal with cheating. And cheating is a touchy subject with me...I finally decided to just give it a chance and see how it went, since I had yet to pick up a Giffin book that I didn't love...this might be that book, I think.
Ellen and Andy have a wonderful marriage. They live in an apartment in New York. Andy is a lawyer, Ellen is a photographer. They have been married less than a year, but so far, the marriage is all sunshine and rainbows.
Then one fateful afternoon, Ellen sees Leo, in the middle of a crosswalk...Leo, the one that got away. She goes into a nearby diner to try and collect herself, when her cell starts ringing. Turns out she has the same number that she did while they were dating all those years ago, so he took a chance and dialed that number. He asks where she went and when she tells him the name of the diner, he tells her he'll be there momentarily. And so starts the story.
I find myself wondering what exactly normal ever was. Were things normal when Andy and I started to date? Were they normal by the time we got engaged or walked down the aisle? Was I ever truly over Leo?
At one time I was sure that the answer was yes. but if seeing him again--and merely touching his hand--could peel back so many layers of my heart, then did I ever stop loving him the way you're supposed to stop loving everyone but the one you're with?
Ellen spends the whole of the novel grappling with her emotions, which are pulling her all over the place. Did she make the right choice in marrying Andy or did she settle for him? Was Leo the great love of her life? What would've happened if they had stayed together? Would they have made it? Throughout the book, Ellen had a ton of internal dialogue going on and would bounce between guilt for what she was feeling and then give herself false justifications for why she felt her feelings were understandable.
Even in the end, she was still not 100% honest about everything and I found the way her story ended to be a stretch, just a bit too unbelievable for me. Overall, I just wasn't very happy with this book.
Honestly, as a MC, Ellen just pissed me off...a lot. From the beginning of the book, she wasn't honest with Andy about anything, which is when I started to get frustrated with her. Especially since Andy is painted in a terrific light. Giffin makes him seem like the ideal husband...caring, wealthy, handsome, family man, good sense of humor. To me, Leo just didn't compare. So I couldn't really understand why, eight years after he and Ellen ended their relationship, she is still so affected by Leo. She has what she herself describes a wonderfully happy marriage, yet she starts walking a dangerous line, wondering "What if?". I just couldn't relate to her and that, along with the fact that her decisions just angered me, made it pretty hard to get through this book quickly.
But, I do still like Giffin's writing style. Out of all her novels, this is really the only miss for me. I'll continue to read her books in the future. But hopefully there will be no more about the one who got away.
Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.
I've done it. I've now read all of Emily Giffin's novels (so far). I avoided this one for a while though, because from the description, you get a bit of a feeling that it might deal with cheating. And cheating is a touchy subject with me...I finally decided to just give it a chance and see how it went, since I had yet to pick up a Giffin book that I didn't love...this might be that book, I think.
Ellen and Andy have a wonderful marriage. They live in an apartment in New York. Andy is a lawyer, Ellen is a photographer. They have been married less than a year, but so far, the marriage is all sunshine and rainbows.
Then one fateful afternoon, Ellen sees Leo, in the middle of a crosswalk...Leo, the one that got away. She goes into a nearby diner to try and collect herself, when her cell starts ringing. Turns out she has the same number that she did while they were dating all those years ago, so he took a chance and dialed that number. He asks where she went and when she tells him the name of the diner, he tells her he'll be there momentarily. And so starts the story.
I find myself wondering what exactly normal ever was. Were things normal when Andy and I started to date? Were they normal by the time we got engaged or walked down the aisle? Was I ever truly over Leo?
At one time I was sure that the answer was yes. but if seeing him again--and merely touching his hand--could peel back so many layers of my heart, then did I ever stop loving him the way you're supposed to stop loving everyone but the one you're with?
Ellen spends the whole of the novel grappling with her emotions, which are pulling her all over the place. Did she make the right choice in marrying Andy or did she settle for him? Was Leo the great love of her life? What would've happened if they had stayed together? Would they have made it? Throughout the book, Ellen had a ton of internal dialogue going on and would bounce between guilt for what she was feeling and then give herself false justifications for why she felt her feelings were understandable.
Even in the end, she was still not 100% honest about everything and I found the way her story ended to be a stretch, just a bit too unbelievable for me. Overall, I just wasn't very happy with this book.
Honestly, as a MC, Ellen just pissed me off...a lot. From the beginning of the book, she wasn't honest with Andy about anything, which is when I started to get frustrated with her. Especially since Andy is painted in a terrific light. Giffin makes him seem like the ideal husband...caring, wealthy, handsome, family man, good sense of humor. To me, Leo just didn't compare. So I couldn't really understand why, eight years after he and Ellen ended their relationship, she is still so affected by Leo. She has what she herself describes a wonderfully happy marriage, yet she starts walking a dangerous line, wondering "What if?". I just couldn't relate to her and that, along with the fact that her decisions just angered me, made it pretty hard to get through this book quickly.
But, I do still like Giffin's writing style. Out of all her novels, this is really the only miss for me. I'll continue to read her books in the future. But hopefully there will be no more about the one who got away.
December 4, 2013
First off, I couldn't put this book down, I started it on Sunday (late morning) and finished it Monday evening.
This is my second favorite Emily Giffin book (behind Something Borrowed). There was a similar dynamic between Ellen and Margot, much like that of Rachel and Darcy in Something Borrowed. While the premise of the book wasn't the same, you get the same test of loyalty since Ellen is married to Margot's older brother Andy. In fact, I would say that the test of loyalty might be stronger due to the blood relationship between Margot and Andy.
Anyways, I don't want to say too much, I had a feeling as to how the book would end given the title...it was just my intrigue to see how Ellen would get from point a to point b.
The premise of the story is something I think most people can relate to, male or female, as at some point in our lives I suspect we have all felt the same way about the road not taken. Whether it be a relationship, a job, college...etc. So this made Ellen very easy to relate to...
There is no tie to Giffin's other books so this one could be read before the others.
This is my second favorite Emily Giffin book (behind Something Borrowed). There was a similar dynamic between Ellen and Margot, much like that of Rachel and Darcy in Something Borrowed. While the premise of the book wasn't the same, you get the same test of loyalty since Ellen is married to Margot's older brother Andy. In fact, I would say that the test of loyalty might be stronger due to the blood relationship between Margot and Andy.
Anyways, I don't want to say too much, I had a feeling as to how the book would end given the title...it was just my intrigue to see how Ellen would get from point a to point b.
The premise of the story is something I think most people can relate to, male or female, as at some point in our lives I suspect we have all felt the same way about the road not taken. Whether it be a relationship, a job, college...etc. So this made Ellen very easy to relate to...
There is no tie to Giffin's other books so this one could be read before the others.
July 24, 2024
I enjoyed this story of revisiting first love ❤️ The appreciation of the now message is great 👍
December 31, 2015
Love the One You're With is a standalone, women's fiction/chick-lit novel written by author Emily Giffin. Ms. Giffin's novels have been hit or miss with me, and when they miss, they miss big time. I have zero appreciation for marital affairs or romantic deception in general that end in happily-ever-afters, so when the married female lead began making cringe-worthy choices when an old flame resurfaces, I considered doing a one-woman boycott. I finished the book though and I'm happy I did. Fortunately, this novel's title came true at the end, and although I had a “That was close!” feeling, I was left feeling hopeful and satisfied :)
An interview with Ms. Giffin was included at the end of the audiobook I listened to. I've often wondered why she doesn't write your typical, fun chick-lit with likable characters and she answered this by saying that real-world relationships aren't always pretty. They are far from perfect and people make choices that go against the grain sometimes, and she reflects this in her writing. As a reader, I can acknowledge the value in this. If all books were rainbow and unicorn brain-candy then many learning/growth opportunities would be lost. I guess today I was just craving more of an escape, and Ms. Giffin's real-life fiction didn't quite give it to me...I spent too much of my time squeezing my eyes shut at the sure-to-come consequences. But her style is obviously working for lots of readers, so read the synopsis of her some of her books and see if they're for you!
My favorite quote:
“I think of how life takes unexpected twists and turns, sometimes through sheer happenstance, sometimes through calculated decisions. In the end, it can all be called fate, but to me, it is more a matter of faith.”
An interview with Ms. Giffin was included at the end of the audiobook I listened to. I've often wondered why she doesn't write your typical, fun chick-lit with likable characters and she answered this by saying that real-world relationships aren't always pretty. They are far from perfect and people make choices that go against the grain sometimes, and she reflects this in her writing. As a reader, I can acknowledge the value in this. If all books were rainbow and unicorn brain-candy then many learning/growth opportunities would be lost. I guess today I was just craving more of an escape, and Ms. Giffin's real-life fiction didn't quite give it to me...I spent too much of my time squeezing my eyes shut at the sure-to-come consequences. But her style is obviously working for lots of readers, so read the synopsis of her some of her books and see if they're for you!
My favorite quote:
“I think of how life takes unexpected twists and turns, sometimes through sheer happenstance, sometimes through calculated decisions. In the end, it can all be called fate, but to me, it is more a matter of faith.”
May 19, 2008
I remember when Emily Giffin's first book came out, and since it dealt with cheating, I did not pick it up for the longest time. Then I read a thoroughly positive review of it (I think on chicklitbooks.com, which may no longer be around) and I decided I had to see what the fuss was about.
The reviewer did not do the book justice. It grabbed me from page one and wouldn't let go, even when it was dealing with messy topics such as betraying your best friend.
Since that first book, I have run out to buy each and every one of Emily Giffin's books, and even got one autographed by her. As much as I loved them all, I preferred the first one since on some level, it was just more emotionally gripping than the others. Love the One You're With has that same emotional depth, that same messiness that you cringe at but can't look away from or stop reading.
Ellen finally has all that she's dreamed of: a handsome husband she loves, a successful and satisfying career as a photographer, and an apartment in the city she loves. Then, walking across a random street, she sees the one other love of her life: Leo. Leo recognizes Ellen, calls her, and they talk; he then offers her the job of her career, which she cannot turn down. She chooses not to tell either her husband or best friend about this encounter, thinking it will end at this, but it doesn't. And the more she sees Leo, the more she questions her life with Andy, especially once they leave NY for Atlanta.
I won't say more since I don't want to give it away, but if you love a good, fast, riveting read, definitely pick this up.
The reviewer did not do the book justice. It grabbed me from page one and wouldn't let go, even when it was dealing with messy topics such as betraying your best friend.
Since that first book, I have run out to buy each and every one of Emily Giffin's books, and even got one autographed by her. As much as I loved them all, I preferred the first one since on some level, it was just more emotionally gripping than the others. Love the One You're With has that same emotional depth, that same messiness that you cringe at but can't look away from or stop reading.
Ellen finally has all that she's dreamed of: a handsome husband she loves, a successful and satisfying career as a photographer, and an apartment in the city she loves. Then, walking across a random street, she sees the one other love of her life: Leo. Leo recognizes Ellen, calls her, and they talk; he then offers her the job of her career, which she cannot turn down. She chooses not to tell either her husband or best friend about this encounter, thinking it will end at this, but it doesn't. And the more she sees Leo, the more she questions her life with Andy, especially once they leave NY for Atlanta.
I won't say more since I don't want to give it away, but if you love a good, fast, riveting read, definitely pick this up.
December 29, 2024
2/5
Alright, alright. I wasn’t really convinced with “Something borrowed”, since it basically (even if you don’t want to admit it) romanticizes cheating.
But this? This was insufferable.
You know that one person you have or used to have that is ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED with their ex? That no matter what happens, they still think about them all the time and even sometimes discuss them with you? That’s basically this book.
Now, people are allowed to talk about and think of their ex of course, but… why would you think of them so positively when you’re literally married?
And when your friends call out you on that you basically don’t listen to them and you dare to VICTIMIZE YOURSELF.
That was the problem with the main character. Look, I get the book is about questioning whether the life you’re living is the one you’re meant to live, but ummmm….. when was CONSIDERING CHEATING an option?
Mf ass main character should really try to read this book herself and try to follow the instructions of the title or something.
But then at the same time, the other characters contradicted themselves so badly and had double morals and were hypocrite, so this only got me annoyed at everyone.
Wasn’t fond of the plot, the whining and basically desperate begging of the main character to have her ex back, and the rest of the characters… they’re there, I guess.
Alright, alright. I wasn’t really convinced with “Something borrowed”, since it basically (even if you don’t want to admit it) romanticizes cheating.
But this? This was insufferable.
You know that one person you have or used to have that is ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED with their ex? That no matter what happens, they still think about them all the time and even sometimes discuss them with you? That’s basically this book.
Now, people are allowed to talk about and think of their ex of course, but… why would you think of them so positively when you’re literally married?
And when your friends call out you on that you basically don’t listen to them and you dare to VICTIMIZE YOURSELF.
That was the problem with the main character. Look, I get the book is about questioning whether the life you’re living is the one you’re meant to live, but ummmm….. when was CONSIDERING CHEATING an option?
Mf ass main character should really try to read this book herself and try to follow the instructions of the title or something.
But then at the same time, the other characters contradicted themselves so badly and had double morals and were hypocrite, so this only got me annoyed at everyone.
Wasn’t fond of the plot, the whining and basically desperate begging of the main character to have her ex back, and the rest of the characters… they’re there, I guess.
August 20, 2008
Emily Giffin is a very talented writer. Her first two books were nearly impossible to put down, she wrote the main characters so sympathetically and realistically that the stories truly came alive. Her third book was decent - not as mind-blowingly good as the first two, but still okay. This one, unfortunately, I couldn't even finish.
My problem does not stem with the plot - a married woman runs into an ex-boyfriend and starts wondering about him and how her life could have been different if she'd ended up with him. Granted, I thought the plot was on the weak side, but I had hopes that the author would pull this plot off. Sadly, it all just fell very flat, and I did not like the main character at all. I couldn't see why she'd ever dated this ex of hers, and I wasn't sympathetic to her plot because she just seemed so dumb. I made it maybe a quarter of the way through before just having to finally put it down. It just wasn't interesting.
Very disappointing, especially from an author who I know can write wonderful books. I'm sure others enjoyed this because she is a good writer, and even in this book her talent shows through, but for me, the writing wasn't enough to save it.
My problem does not stem with the plot - a married woman runs into an ex-boyfriend and starts wondering about him and how her life could have been different if she'd ended up with him. Granted, I thought the plot was on the weak side, but I had hopes that the author would pull this plot off. Sadly, it all just fell very flat, and I did not like the main character at all. I couldn't see why she'd ever dated this ex of hers, and I wasn't sympathetic to her plot because she just seemed so dumb. I made it maybe a quarter of the way through before just having to finally put it down. It just wasn't interesting.
Very disappointing, especially from an author who I know can write wonderful books. I'm sure others enjoyed this because she is a good writer, and even in this book her talent shows through, but for me, the writing wasn't enough to save it.
May 5, 2018
So I started sticky-noting this book on page 8. (Well, I started on page 12 and then retroactively stickied something on page 8.)
I will sometimes mark up books I own when I feel like it, but I usually prefer to use sticky notes if I find something I really want to reference in my review (they are easier to find and allow me to be more verbose than scribbly margin writing). But I don’t do this that often. When I sticky-note, it’s usually for non-fiction books, occasionally for books that are really, really good, and sometimes for books that are really, really cringe-worthy.
Sorry, Emily Giffin. But Love the One You’re With is not non-fiction, and it’s not winning any awards from me. It forced me to confront some of my attitudes towards chick lit as a genre and how I, as an ace, white man, critique that genre. Not only do I have little experience with chick lit, but I also feel like an outsider when it comes to the target demographic. While I’m certain not all women enjoy chick lit as characterized by Love the One You’re With, I’m also certain some women do (and many of them have written reviews here on Goodreads explaining why). So even as I attempt to deconstruct this book and what I perceive to be its subtext, I don’t want to seem prescriptive or judgemental about people’s reading choices here. Please go ahead and read this if you choose … but that doesn’t change the fact it’s not very good.
My sticky-noting died off a little bit before the hundredth page, for a few reasons. Firstly, I went to have a bath, where it is easy to read but hard to sticky-note. Secondly, my sticky notes would just have gotten really repetitive. I think the book actually improves as it goes on, but mostly Giffin repeats the same types of tropes and clichéd writing that led my initial bout of stickying enthusiasm. Here’s the passage that started it all:
There’s something about the phrase, “We were equally attractive” that set me off. It’s just so clunky. Do women really talk like that? I went to the trouble of finding a woman and asking her! My friend, who shall remain nameless, agreed this paragraph sounded more like plot device than serious internal monologue. And while I can understand that some women would probably have these sorts of attractiveness comparisons, the way Giffin chose to phrase it set the alarm bells ringing.
See, Giffin is clearly writing to an audience, and that audience is not me. It’s obvious in the way she tosses out little reminders that assume a like-mindedness I can’t muster:
And, a little later in the book, as Ellen talks about how she first met tantalizing ex-boyfriend, Leo:
It’s the “as any woman would” and “like most women” phrases that get under my skin. I’m sure some women certainly fit this rather narrow mould that Giffin realizes in Ellen, and perhaps those are Giffin’s target audience. But she does this audience a disservice when she serves up a story devoid of real controversy or conflict, filled instead with stereotypical characters and a pre-packaged plot that has been microwaved to room temperature.
Ellen is one of the most bland narrators I have encountered in a long time. I don’t usually hear a character’s voice in my head when a book is in first-person. But in this case I kept imagining Ellen’s voice as Kristen Stewart’s. Love the One You’re With is actually just an urbane version of Twilight (without the vampires and werewolves and if Bella had chosen Jacob over Edward). Leo is Edward: the attractive, subversive bad boy whom Bella—sorry, Ellen—just can’t help but find so dreamy. Andy is Jacob: the stable, safe, but slightly boring choice, who happens to be from an alien culture (Atlantan instead of Native American). And, like Bella, Ellen is spineless and indecisive, with the personality of an empty box of Tic-Tacs.
Ellen’s marriage with Andy is “perfect” (according to the back of the book) until she runs into Leo one day, a meeting that precipitates a crisis of careers as well as feelings. Andy wants to move back to Atlanta to practise law with his father and have a big, ostentatious house. Ellen doesn’t really want that, or pretends she doesn’t care, or something, but goes along with it because she wants him to be happy. Surprise, surprise, she isn’t happy when she suddenly has to be steeped in Southern Hospitality 24/7 and conform to certain social expectations. Then, she blames herself for her own unhappiness because “he gave me a lot of outs.” So instead of discussing the issue with her husband in a calm manner, she gives more thought to having an affair with Leo.
I suppose there are some legitimate issues that Giffin tackles here. Having never been married myself, I’m only going off what I know from books and romantic comedies, but it seems like resolving differences about where to live would probably be a big deal. Similarly, everyone in the book keeps asking, in one way or another, when Ellen is going to start popping out babies. Again, not something that I can speak about from experience, but I can understand why that would be annoying and even demeaning. So I can see how some women who read this book might identify with what Ellen is going through.
Yet for all the seriousness of these issues, Giffin never actually challenges or critiques them in any meaningful way. Without going into spoiler territory, let’s just say that a careful deus ex machina and predictable phone call result in a happy ending that just begs “motion picture, please!” Instead of contrasting Margot’s cheerful pregnancy with a more adamant desire not to enter into motherhood, Ellen, in her typical indecisive way, never really commits one way or the other. Giffin tries to tell us that Ellen is a strong, independent person: “Yes, I’m Andy’s wife. And I’m a Graham. But I’m also Suzanne’s sister, my mother’s daughter, my own person.” Ellen’s actions throughout the novel belie this claim, for she seldom forges her own path when another sees fit to offer her one to follow.
I don’t go for the defence that books like this are “beach reads,” are leisure reads, and should therefore get a free pass. Literature, all literature, is powerful, and being something read for leisure does not excuse it from being well-written or thought-provoking. There’s nothing wrong with craving something with more story than substance, but there’s a difference between a book that is light and fun and a book that is just shallow. Love the One You’re With, to be fair, does not land squarely in the latter category—but it dangles perilously close. Moreover, what saves it from this label is not so much any redeeming quality as it is the fact that, like the main character, this book suffers from an incurable case of blandness.
I will sometimes mark up books I own when I feel like it, but I usually prefer to use sticky notes if I find something I really want to reference in my review (they are easier to find and allow me to be more verbose than scribbly margin writing). But I don’t do this that often. When I sticky-note, it’s usually for non-fiction books, occasionally for books that are really, really good, and sometimes for books that are really, really cringe-worthy.
Sorry, Emily Giffin. But Love the One You’re With is not non-fiction, and it’s not winning any awards from me. It forced me to confront some of my attitudes towards chick lit as a genre and how I, as an ace, white man, critique that genre. Not only do I have little experience with chick lit, but I also feel like an outsider when it comes to the target demographic. While I’m certain not all women enjoy chick lit as characterized by Love the One You’re With, I’m also certain some women do (and many of them have written reviews here on Goodreads explaining why). So even as I attempt to deconstruct this book and what I perceive to be its subtext, I don’t want to seem prescriptive or judgemental about people’s reading choices here. Please go ahead and read this if you choose … but that doesn’t change the fact it’s not very good.
My sticky-noting died off a little bit before the hundredth page, for a few reasons. Firstly, I went to have a bath, where it is easy to read but hard to sticky-note. Secondly, my sticky notes would just have gotten really repetitive. I think the book actually improves as it goes on, but mostly Giffin repeats the same types of tropes and clichéd writing that led my initial bout of stickying enthusiasm. Here’s the passage that started it all:
As it turned out, I was right about both Andy and Margot. He was nice, and she was just about everything I wasn’t. For starters we were physical opposites. She was a petite yet still curvy, fair-skinned blue-eyed blonde. I had dark hair and hazel eyes, skin that looked tanned even in the dead of winter, and a tall, athletic frame. We were equally attractive, but Margot had a soft, whimsical look about her while my features were more easily described as handsome.
There’s something about the phrase, “We were equally attractive” that set me off. It’s just so clunky. Do women really talk like that? I went to the trouble of finding a woman and asking her! My friend, who shall remain nameless, agreed this paragraph sounded more like plot device than serious internal monologue. And while I can understand that some women would probably have these sorts of attractiveness comparisons, the way Giffin chose to phrase it set the alarm bells ringing.
See, Giffin is clearly writing to an audience, and that audience is not me. It’s obvious in the way she tosses out little reminders that assume a like-mindedness I can’t muster:
I know for an absolute fact that Leo and Andy met once, at a bar in the East Village. At the time time, it was only a brief, meaningless encounter between my boyfriend and a best friend’s brother…. But years later, after Leo and I had long broken up, and Andy and I had begun to date, I would deconstruct that moment in exhausting detail, as any woman would.
And, a little later in the book, as Ellen talks about how she first met tantalizing ex-boyfriend, Leo:
The thought took me by surprise as I wasn’t accustomed to assessing strange men in such a strictly physical way. Like most women, I was about getting to know someone first—attraction based on personality. Moreover, I wasn’t even that into sex. Yet.
It’s the “as any woman would” and “like most women” phrases that get under my skin. I’m sure some women certainly fit this rather narrow mould that Giffin realizes in Ellen, and perhaps those are Giffin’s target audience. But she does this audience a disservice when she serves up a story devoid of real controversy or conflict, filled instead with stereotypical characters and a pre-packaged plot that has been microwaved to room temperature.
Ellen is one of the most bland narrators I have encountered in a long time. I don’t usually hear a character’s voice in my head when a book is in first-person. But in this case I kept imagining Ellen’s voice as Kristen Stewart’s. Love the One You’re With is actually just an urbane version of Twilight (without the vampires and werewolves and if Bella had chosen Jacob over Edward). Leo is Edward: the attractive, subversive bad boy whom Bella—sorry, Ellen—just can’t help but find so dreamy. Andy is Jacob: the stable, safe, but slightly boring choice, who happens to be from an alien culture (Atlantan instead of Native American). And, like Bella, Ellen is spineless and indecisive, with the personality of an empty box of Tic-Tacs.
Ellen’s marriage with Andy is “perfect” (according to the back of the book) until she runs into Leo one day, a meeting that precipitates a crisis of careers as well as feelings. Andy wants to move back to Atlanta to practise law with his father and have a big, ostentatious house. Ellen doesn’t really want that, or pretends she doesn’t care, or something, but goes along with it because she wants him to be happy. Surprise, surprise, she isn’t happy when she suddenly has to be steeped in Southern Hospitality 24/7 and conform to certain social expectations. Then, she blames herself for her own unhappiness because “he gave me a lot of outs.” So instead of discussing the issue with her husband in a calm manner, she gives more thought to having an affair with Leo.
I suppose there are some legitimate issues that Giffin tackles here. Having never been married myself, I’m only going off what I know from books and romantic comedies, but it seems like resolving differences about where to live would probably be a big deal. Similarly, everyone in the book keeps asking, in one way or another, when Ellen is going to start popping out babies. Again, not something that I can speak about from experience, but I can understand why that would be annoying and even demeaning. So I can see how some women who read this book might identify with what Ellen is going through.
Yet for all the seriousness of these issues, Giffin never actually challenges or critiques them in any meaningful way. Without going into spoiler territory, let’s just say that a careful deus ex machina and predictable phone call result in a happy ending that just begs “motion picture, please!” Instead of contrasting Margot’s cheerful pregnancy with a more adamant desire not to enter into motherhood, Ellen, in her typical indecisive way, never really commits one way or the other. Giffin tries to tell us that Ellen is a strong, independent person: “Yes, I’m Andy’s wife. And I’m a Graham. But I’m also Suzanne’s sister, my mother’s daughter, my own person.” Ellen’s actions throughout the novel belie this claim, for she seldom forges her own path when another sees fit to offer her one to follow.
I don’t go for the defence that books like this are “beach reads,” are leisure reads, and should therefore get a free pass. Literature, all literature, is powerful, and being something read for leisure does not excuse it from being well-written or thought-provoking. There’s nothing wrong with craving something with more story than substance, but there’s a difference between a book that is light and fun and a book that is just shallow. Love the One You’re With, to be fair, does not land squarely in the latter category—but it dangles perilously close. Moreover, what saves it from this label is not so much any redeeming quality as it is the fact that, like the main character, this book suffers from an incurable case of blandness.
August 4, 2008
A modern yuppie romance.
Newlywed Ellen bumps into Leo, her old boyfriend, in the street in New York City on a rainy day. Stunned, she goes to a nearby coffee shop to gather herself. Leo calls her cell phone and asks where she is, showing up a few moments later. They have coffee and she tells him she’s married. He touches her hand and leaves but Leo doesn’t leave Ellen’s thoughts, not even when she’s with her husband, Andy, the man she loves and adores, the man she married.
Leo contacts Ellen again with a career-making offer to photograph a celebrity in Los Angeles. Her sister Suzanne goes with her because Suzanne is a fan and ends up acting as chaperone. Leo is writing an article about the celebrity and Ellen is taking the pictures. Ellen leaves feeling as though she has dodged a bullet until Leo shows up on the plane sitting next to her. They talk and fall asleep holding hands, waking the next morning and say goodbye once again, this time on Leo’s doorstep. Ellen doesn’t plan to see him again, but Leo has other plans, and so does Andy.
Andy quit his job at a high-powered law firm in New York and wants to move back to Atlanta to be near his family and partner in his father’s law practice. Ellen reluctantly agrees. She’s rich and her handsome husband loves her, but nothing feels right. She misses the electric excitement of New York City and her career – and she misses Leo. Did she make a mistake marrying Andy, moving to Atlanta, giving up her career . . . not giving Leo another chance?
Not everyone gets the dream – handsome husband, big house, country club, loving family, wealth – but Emily Giffin makes it seem possible in Love the One You’re With. Ellen, Leo and Andy are well ensconced in lucrative careers. The men are handsome and the women are beautiful. Everyone, except for Suzanne, is rich and not all that attainable for the average Joe or Jane. Despite these fantasies, Giffin’s tale of exploring the road not taken has much to commend it.
The emotions resonate clearly and the situation, although a little out of the average woman’s reach, is basic. What do you do when you find out your best friend kept you from reuniting with the man you loved? Even in the rarefied atmosphere of country clubs and jaunts across the country to photograph celebrities and feature articles, it comes down to the basics – relationships – and this is something Giffin portrays with a lack of guile and plenty of heart. Giffin’s prose is clean and uncluttered and the characters eminently authentic. Only one plot point seemed a bit contrived – a phone call at a crucial moment – but the rest of the story is one to which anyone caught between the present and the past can relate.
Love the One You’re With is a story that goes straight to the heart of what it means to love and be loved, and to find a way to live with difficult choices.
###
Newlywed Ellen bumps into Leo, her old boyfriend, in the street in New York City on a rainy day. Stunned, she goes to a nearby coffee shop to gather herself. Leo calls her cell phone and asks where she is, showing up a few moments later. They have coffee and she tells him she’s married. He touches her hand and leaves but Leo doesn’t leave Ellen’s thoughts, not even when she’s with her husband, Andy, the man she loves and adores, the man she married.
Leo contacts Ellen again with a career-making offer to photograph a celebrity in Los Angeles. Her sister Suzanne goes with her because Suzanne is a fan and ends up acting as chaperone. Leo is writing an article about the celebrity and Ellen is taking the pictures. Ellen leaves feeling as though she has dodged a bullet until Leo shows up on the plane sitting next to her. They talk and fall asleep holding hands, waking the next morning and say goodbye once again, this time on Leo’s doorstep. Ellen doesn’t plan to see him again, but Leo has other plans, and so does Andy.
Andy quit his job at a high-powered law firm in New York and wants to move back to Atlanta to be near his family and partner in his father’s law practice. Ellen reluctantly agrees. She’s rich and her handsome husband loves her, but nothing feels right. She misses the electric excitement of New York City and her career – and she misses Leo. Did she make a mistake marrying Andy, moving to Atlanta, giving up her career . . . not giving Leo another chance?
Not everyone gets the dream – handsome husband, big house, country club, loving family, wealth – but Emily Giffin makes it seem possible in Love the One You’re With. Ellen, Leo and Andy are well ensconced in lucrative careers. The men are handsome and the women are beautiful. Everyone, except for Suzanne, is rich and not all that attainable for the average Joe or Jane. Despite these fantasies, Giffin’s tale of exploring the road not taken has much to commend it.
The emotions resonate clearly and the situation, although a little out of the average woman’s reach, is basic. What do you do when you find out your best friend kept you from reuniting with the man you loved? Even in the rarefied atmosphere of country clubs and jaunts across the country to photograph celebrities and feature articles, it comes down to the basics – relationships – and this is something Giffin portrays with a lack of guile and plenty of heart. Giffin’s prose is clean and uncluttered and the characters eminently authentic. Only one plot point seemed a bit contrived – a phone call at a crucial moment – but the rest of the story is one to which anyone caught between the present and the past can relate.
Love the One You’re With is a story that goes straight to the heart of what it means to love and be loved, and to find a way to live with difficult choices.
###
July 5, 2008
I had both good and bad reactions to this book. Good: it definitely sucked me in. It was hard not to be constantly wondering what choices Ellen would make next. The last 30 pages were impossible to put down. I also though Giffin did a good job of examining love and choice from a variety of angles. A very multi-facted way of viewing the storyline.
Bad: Sometimes Ellen just STRESSED me out. She had great internal dialogue, but the fact that she would never talk to Andy about her feelings was absolutely maddening. Maybe that was supposed to say something about their relationship, but for a reader it was annoying at times. And I felt the ending was just odd--the "compromise" that they came up with was entirely unrealistic. I'm all for the unpredictable ending, but I felt like Giffin was reaching on that one.
Overall, I gave it a 4 because I liked the essential themes of this novel--true tests of love, deciding what it means to be truly committed, etc. I think everyone has gone through feelings of doubt like that at some point in their lives. But I can't say it's better than Giffin's first two novels, because the characters just got to me too much.
Bad: Sometimes Ellen just STRESSED me out. She had great internal dialogue, but the fact that she would never talk to Andy about her feelings was absolutely maddening. Maybe that was supposed to say something about their relationship, but for a reader it was annoying at times. And I felt the ending was just odd--the "compromise" that they came up with was entirely unrealistic. I'm all for the unpredictable ending, but I felt like Giffin was reaching on that one.
Overall, I gave it a 4 because I liked the essential themes of this novel--true tests of love, deciding what it means to be truly committed, etc. I think everyone has gone through feelings of doubt like that at some point in their lives. But I can't say it's better than Giffin's first two novels, because the characters just got to me too much.
May 28, 2008
This book spoke to me because it mirrored my own struggle with my decision to end my marriage. At times it was as if the author was in my head, telling my story, although unlike Ellen, I didn't stay with my husband.
Overall I really liked the book. However, there were a few things that bothered me. I thought that Ellen and Margot were too cliched. Ellen was the poor girl from Pittsburgh whose best friend Margot is the picture perfect Southern girl without a single flaw. Despite saying that she doesn't resent Margot, it's quite clear that she does. Ellen's husband Andy (who is also Margot's brother) was also just too picture perfect. The way he instantly forgave her after going to see Leo in NYC seemed way too unrealistic. I was disappointed that the author made a happy ending. Life just isn't like that, and I would have liked to have seen Ellen leave Andy, as it was clear to me that while she LOVED him, she wasn't IN LOVE with him. It would have been cool to see Ellen leave Andy and go live in NYC on her own.
Overall I really liked the book. However, there were a few things that bothered me. I thought that Ellen and Margot were too cliched. Ellen was the poor girl from Pittsburgh whose best friend Margot is the picture perfect Southern girl without a single flaw. Despite saying that she doesn't resent Margot, it's quite clear that she does. Ellen's husband Andy (who is also Margot's brother) was also just too picture perfect. The way he instantly forgave her after going to see Leo in NYC seemed way too unrealistic. I was disappointed that the author made a happy ending. Life just isn't like that, and I would have liked to have seen Ellen leave Andy, as it was clear to me that while she LOVED him, she wasn't IN LOVE with him. It would have been cool to see Ellen leave Andy and go live in NYC on her own.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 25, 2011
I'm curious to know whether Emily Giffin can write a book without a destroyed marriage or infidelity. Because every one of the books that I've read of hers include this, and not just as a secondary theme, but as the main plot of the book. Honestly, its monotonous. Infidelity is not at all something that I agree with, but granted, she writes the situations in a way that you can sympathize with the characters. That being said, every author has to have more than one plot line when they are writing multiple books. And frankly, no matter the character's jobs or the different ways infidelity was brought about, all of these books are the same. I may take a chance and read the byline to her next book, but if it has ANOTHER bad marriage, I won't read it. Giffin needs a new focus in her novels. Even John Grisham, who mostly writes books about lawyers and courtroom battles has different plots. It keeps it excited and not knowing what is going to happen. Giffin is a one hit wonder, it just so happens she has multiple books.
February 10, 2020
“...love is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together.”
― Emily Giffin, Love the One You're With
I did not like this book.
I LOVE Giffin's books..usually. Plot looked great. But I did not enjoy.
SPOILERS:
Usually I form attachments to the characters she writes because she is so good at writing the,. Not here. I was annoyed with the main character.
And what bothered me is....nothing happens at all through the book. Just alot of secret meetings with the heroine obsessing about what to do. She was really annoying frankly and I usually love Giffin's characters. She is so good at character development.
Also..the two do not have an affair..emotional maybe..but I found myself bored and skimming. I never ever skim Emily Giffin's books. But the repetition of the meetings and the "what should I do" grated on me. This is the only book by this writer I have read that I disliked.
Just a bad fit for me but I was let down.
― Emily Giffin, Love the One You're With
I did not like this book.
I LOVE Giffin's books..usually. Plot looked great. But I did not enjoy.
SPOILERS:
Usually I form attachments to the characters she writes because she is so good at writing the,. Not here. I was annoyed with the main character.
And what bothered me is....nothing happens at all through the book. Just alot of secret meetings with the heroine obsessing about what to do. She was really annoying frankly and I usually love Giffin's characters. She is so good at character development.
Also..the two do not have an affair..emotional maybe..but I found myself bored and skimming. I never ever skim Emily Giffin's books. But the repetition of the meetings and the "what should I do" grated on me. This is the only book by this writer I have read that I disliked.
Just a bad fit for me but I was let down.
May 21, 2008
I have to admit that I do like some "chick-lit" and that I have read all of Emily Giffin's books. That said, I really didn't think that this book was anything special. The plot was predictable, and the characters weren't particularly memorable. Giffin's first two books, "Something Borrowed" and "Something Blue" were certainly more engaging; I wasn't as impressed by "Baby Proof" or "Love the One You're With."
August 25, 2025
I know a lot of people didn’t like this book but this is one of favorites of Emily Giffin.
June 13, 2020
Is there anyone who doesn't have "the one that got away" somewhere in the back of their mind? This is an enjoyable novel about a woman who gets another chance to get it right with THAT guy, the passionate love of her life who broke her heart. But there's a problem - she's married to someone else now.
I am a firm believer that in marriage you have made your choice, and must do what it takes to honor that commitment and your relationship; so I actually didn't love the main character, Ellie. But I found her to be real and relatable as no one is perfect and we often act in stupid, selfish ways that undermine our own happiness. Ellie's relationships with Andy her husband; and Leo the old boyfriend, are presented with their good points and flaws. I was never sure which choice she would make, and that kept me reading right up until the end.
Not my favorite from this author, but I definitely recommend it for a quick, easy read in between something more intense.
I am a firm believer that in marriage you have made your choice, and must do what it takes to honor that commitment and your relationship; so I actually didn't love the main character, Ellie. But I found her to be real and relatable as no one is perfect and we often act in stupid, selfish ways that undermine our own happiness. Ellie's relationships with Andy her husband; and Leo the old boyfriend, are presented with their good points and flaws. I was never sure which choice she would make, and that kept me reading right up until the end.
Not my favorite from this author, but I definitely recommend it for a quick, easy read in between something more intense.
May 27, 2008
So, I was totally psyched to read the latest offering from Emily Giffin. I loved, loved, loved her other novels.
But her latest is different. It starts out slowly, almost slow enough to make me quit. And the protagonist, Ellen Graham, isn’t exactly likable. She is a photographer and a newlywed, and she has just run into her ex, Leo. This is where the story gets good!
Running into her ex leads to both physical and emotional reactions in Ellen. Is Leo the love of her life? Did she really ever get over him? And how does her husband, Andy, fit in? Was he the right choice, or did she settle for him?
This complex combination of feelings and questions sets up the rest of the novel. Ellen will grapple with love, lust, duty, and honor, all while just trying to achieve some level of happiness.
Once the story takes off, it’s difficult to put down this super fast read.
But her latest is different. It starts out slowly, almost slow enough to make me quit. And the protagonist, Ellen Graham, isn’t exactly likable. She is a photographer and a newlywed, and she has just run into her ex, Leo. This is where the story gets good!
Running into her ex leads to both physical and emotional reactions in Ellen. Is Leo the love of her life? Did she really ever get over him? And how does her husband, Andy, fit in? Was he the right choice, or did she settle for him?
This complex combination of feelings and questions sets up the rest of the novel. Ellen will grapple with love, lust, duty, and honor, all while just trying to achieve some level of happiness.
Once the story takes off, it’s difficult to put down this super fast read.
January 4, 2009
please, please, please don't bother...
the in demand shelves at the library beckoned...i listened...and am now a national spokeswoman to say, please do not bother. save yourself. re-read an old favorite book & you'll be oh that much happier, i guarantee :)
the in demand shelves at the library beckoned...i listened...and am now a national spokeswoman to say, please do not bother. save yourself. re-read an old favorite book & you'll be oh that much happier, i guarantee :)
July 19, 2008
It took me days to read this book which a chick lit book takes 1 or 2 days to read. I found the main character Ellen as a whiny, ungrateful brat. That is funny because the author wrote a sad background story for her: poor, pittsburgh breed, lost her mother as teen. However I felt angry as I read the book that she was such a bitchy woe is me kind of girl. I tried to think about my past relationships to connect with her feelings of her ex but I just don't think any of my ex's are worth the feelings that Ellen gave her ex. There is a reason your ex is your ex, you didn't do well together.
The book did send emotion through me but I normally like my light reading to be funny and make me feel good. I just felt hateful towards the main character and what she was doing. It's just too bad I waited a long time for this book to be returned to the library.
The book did send emotion through me but I normally like my light reading to be funny and make me feel good. I just felt hateful towards the main character and what she was doing. It's just too bad I waited a long time for this book to be returned to the library.
January 28, 2013
What. The. Hell.
That was what went through my mind when I was reading this book. As per usual, Emily Giffin uses the "cheating" plot, this time the main character is married and she's having feelings for her old flame.
God, this crap is getting old...
Not only is this cheating thing being worn out, but this book made the characters' personalities change way to many times. Like, one minute you are feeling bad for a character because they are so nice, and then Giffin does a 360 and makes them a complete a**hole. Then, changes it back at the end! I was getting whiplash, and this was happening constantly with multiple characters!
And the plot? Worthless. The book is pretty much this woman whinign about how much she likes her old flame and that she didn't get the chance to try again with him, and, then, when she is with him, she decides that she loves her husband (ergo: she loves the one that she's with).
What a waste of my life.
That was what went through my mind when I was reading this book. As per usual, Emily Giffin uses the "cheating" plot, this time the main character is married and she's having feelings for her old flame.
God, this crap is getting old...
Not only is this cheating thing being worn out, but this book made the characters' personalities change way to many times. Like, one minute you are feeling bad for a character because they are so nice, and then Giffin does a 360 and makes them a complete a**hole. Then, changes it back at the end! I was getting whiplash, and this was happening constantly with multiple characters!
And the plot? Worthless. The book is pretty much this woman whinign about how much she likes her old flame and that she didn't get the chance to try again with him, and, then, when she is with him, she decides that she loves her husband (ergo: she loves the one that she's with).
What a waste of my life.
February 20, 2009
Emily Giffin could very well be put in the category of genius women writers. When I was growing up, my mother would devour romance novels by Danielle Steel and Barbara Delinsky. When I asked her why she read so many of them, she told me that each of the books had a resonating undertone of the married life and the feelings that all married women feel at one point or another.
So, now, after I have devoured all of Emily Giffin's books, I feel the same way about her depiction of 25-30ish something independent women and the married life that they lead. Each one of the books had a character who I could easily identify with and for me, this book was the one that hit home.
A newlywed who runs into an ex-boyfriend...THE ex that things were never settled with and with whom she received no closure. I know that all married women experience this at some point and just reading a fictional novel about Ellen and reading Ellen's honest questions to herself...it made me feel like I was Ellen.
You always wonder if you have made the right choice, even if you are madly in love with your significant other. But every time there is a fork in the road and you choose the other path, your brain will always go back to the path not chosen and wonder what might have been. And I felt like it is okay to wonder that, not to dwell, but to question every once in a while.
Favorite quote: "...love is a sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together."
So, now, after I have devoured all of Emily Giffin's books, I feel the same way about her depiction of 25-30ish something independent women and the married life that they lead. Each one of the books had a character who I could easily identify with and for me, this book was the one that hit home.
A newlywed who runs into an ex-boyfriend...THE ex that things were never settled with and with whom she received no closure. I know that all married women experience this at some point and just reading a fictional novel about Ellen and reading Ellen's honest questions to herself...it made me feel like I was Ellen.
You always wonder if you have made the right choice, even if you are madly in love with your significant other. But every time there is a fork in the road and you choose the other path, your brain will always go back to the path not chosen and wonder what might have been. And I felt like it is okay to wonder that, not to dwell, but to question every once in a while.
Favorite quote: "...love is a sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 29, 2022
3🌟🌟🌟
This was an OK read, I liked the plot, but Ellen & many of the characters were a bit annoying. I actually loved Susan (Ellen’s sister). Not saying it was terrible, but it wasn’t amazing as some of her other books. Ellen never got closure from the one that got away. She ends up moving on and then one day he’s back. What shall the gal do, leave the rich husband and go with the one that got away OR should she stay with rich husband and leave the one that got away. I did read the author’s note and this story was influenced by her friends relationship/situation.
This was an OK read, I liked the plot, but Ellen & many of the characters were a bit annoying. I actually loved Susan (Ellen’s sister). Not saying it was terrible, but it wasn’t amazing as some of her other books. Ellen never got closure from the one that got away. She ends up moving on and then one day he’s back. What shall the gal do, leave the rich husband and go with the one that got away OR should she stay with rich husband and leave the one that got away. I did read the author’s note and this story was influenced by her friends relationship/situation.
June 23, 2008
A fine example of the current state of "chick lit" as the protagonists move from the search for the soul mate to what happens after the wedding. Here, our plucky girl in the city has just married a smart, successful, rich, nice, handsome guy who adores her and who happens to be the brother of her best friend from college. A chance run-in with her ex-boyfriend on the street somehow (inexplicably, in my view) leads to months of subterfuge and guilt-inducing internal dialogues about whether she belong with the good guy she's married to or the ex who gave her "intensity" but not much more. Half the agony stems from the fact that she feels she must conceal this contact from her husband, even though the most it amounted to was a cup of coffee in a diner, which of course leads to deeply twisted machinations when the ex-boyfriend gets her the career opportunity of a lifetime.
Despite the rather gaping hole in the center of the plot, and somewhat trite characterizations, at least the book moves along at a nice clip and provides a little enjoyable escape into its rather silly world. You could do worse for a summer read.
Despite the rather gaping hole in the center of the plot, and somewhat trite characterizations, at least the book moves along at a nice clip and provides a little enjoyable escape into its rather silly world. You could do worse for a summer read.
March 26, 2009
I really enjoyed this book. The subject matter really hit home for me. Having been in a simialr situation as Ellen I could relate to her plight and understand how confused and in turmoil she was. That first love who you love with such passion and then who breaks your heart is tough to forget. And like Ellen, I never really got closure so there was always the what if questions. But as you get older and more experienced in ways of the heart, you realize you change as a person in love and how you felt then may not be how it would be now. I am glad she stayed with Andy, her real true love. While Leo was exciting and passionate and Ellen seemed to like how she was with him, her life with Andy was who she was now and that life was good.
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