Bedtiming: The Parent’s Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep at Just the Right Age

by Marc Lewis, Isabela Granic

When it comes to getting your baby or toddler to sleep through the night, discover why when matters more than how

Are you tired of endless hours spent rocking your baby to sleep? Have you ?hit the wall? when it comes to sleepless nights? Teaching your baby or toddler to sleep through the night can be a bewildering and frustrating experience. Developmental psychologists Marc D. Lewis and Isabela Granic reveal that the key to your child?s sleep habits is not which method you choose to help your child sleep, but when you use it. Timing is everything, and Bedtiming walks you through the stages of child development, offering helpful advice on such topics

? time windows when sleep-training will be most effective and when it will stand the least chance of success
? the pros and cons of several popular sleep-training techniques?including the ?cry-it-out,? ?no-cry,? and Ferber methods
? common sleep setbacks and how to handle them
? how to successfully transition your child from your bed to his or her own crib or bed.

Bedtiming is a simple, sensible, and reassuring guide that will help children?and parents?get a good night?s sleep.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

244 pages, Paperback

First published February 13, 2009

About the author

Marc Lewis is a neuroscientist and professor of developmental psychology, recently at the University of Toronto, where he taught and conducted research from 1989 to 2010, and presently at Radboud University in the Netherlands. He is the author or co-author of over 50 journal publications in psychology and neuroscience, editor of an academic book on developmental psychology, and co-author of a book for parents. More recently he has written two books concerning addiction.

Reviews

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank the gods. Someone finally wrote a non-dogmatic book about baby sleep which is actually HELPFUL.

I love that the author focuses specifically on how development affects the process of helping babies learn to sleep, and also gives a comparison of different sleep training methods with pros and cons of each one.

The developmental stages described here definitely made some sweeping generalizations ("A baby of this age does X") but they overall corresponded very closely to my experience of my baby's sleep issues. I wished the section on temperament had been more specific. I don't find the "easy," "difficult," "slow to warm up" paradigm helpful, because it's too general and also my child doesn't fit into any of the categories. I prefer the model which looks at 9 elements of temperament (regularity, sensitivity, intensity, mood...) and I wish someone would write a sleep book based on how these affect baby sleep.

[Mireille Duval · Rating 4 out of 5]

The research in this book makes so much sense that it's hard to understand why it's not more widely-known. Of course, that may be because it's depressing to be told to "wait it out" when your baby is still having horrendous nights, but she's nine months old and it's the worst period ever for sleep training. (My next kid is so going to get trained at six months. I know that I felt it was too young, three months ago, but with this book, and the knowledge that come 8-9 months I'll be at the end of my rope... yeah, next baby doesn't stand a chance.)

This book does get repetitive at times, it feels a little bit like it was "padded". I would probably have put all the relevant info to each stage in one chapter instead of dividing it as they did which called for a lot of "remember this" or "we'll talk more about that next chapter". I read everything because I think child development is fascinating, but for people who are looking for more of a quick-fix solution, the chapters on the relevant ages are probably more than enough. (That's probably what I'm going to tell my husband to read, anyway.)

Finally I liked that they listed all/most of the methods for sleep-training, with a neutral view of pros and cons for most. So many sleep experts tell you that your child will be messed up forever if you don't use precisely their method; how anxiety-inducing. This book tells you to follow your instincts and find the best method for your child, which is always appreciated.

Looking forward to twelve months...

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Without taking sides in the endless (and pointless) debate between different sleep training methods, Bedtiming instead tells you when in your baby's life you will have the most success in sleep training, and when not to bother.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The only thing I liked about this book was the psychological approach and helping me understand what my baby is going through at different stages of his life. The advice to sleep train... not so much. But then again, I'm pro-attachment parenting.

[Charity Henesy-Brooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely worth reading. It helped me make a decision regarding sleep training my daughter. It filled in some knowledge gaps left after reading other books.

[Melanie Chua · Rating 4 out of 5]

Informative read on the importance of timing in sleep training. Learned a lot about cognitive and emotional development of babies

[Janelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so insightful and provided a lot more than sleep training advice - I learned so much about how my baby feels and think, in language that was easy to parse. Would happily recommend it to parents and parents-to-be!

[Rachel Rowell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Developmental psychologists Lewis and Granic wrote Bedtiming after they discovered optimal developmental periods to sleep train your child between the ages of 0-4 years (see http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2010/...). So how did they find these periods? Children have similar cognitive development stages at certain ages that correlate with emotional stages. During certain emotional stages children are more vulnerable than others (e.g. separation anxiety). Sleep training your child during the less vulnerable periods will lead to better sleep training success, especially with more sensitive children. Makes sense, right?

Lewis and Granic believe that when you sleep train is more important than how you sleep train. This varies from what some other experts believe--that the longer you wait to sleep train (especially if it is after 3 or 6 months) the harder it will be because habits will be more ingrained. I'm not totally convinced that the when is more important than the how, but I'm not convinced against this idea either. I'd just like some more proof in the form of research. Either way, it's worth it to try training in the periods they suggest. It can only help right!

The authors believe that most of the sleep training methods out there are useful and that parents need to choose what works best for them and their family. I couldn't agree more about choosing what works for you and your family...as long as you are all happy and getting your rest.

The book quickly goes over some of the pros and cons of the most common sleep training methods. This section isn't very extensive, but useful if you haven't heard of some of the popular sleep training approaches before. One of the important things mentioned in this section is that no research (even by the academy of pediatrics) has shown one sleep training approach to be better than another. The most important thing is consistency in whatever approach you choose.

There is a section in this book about sleep setbacks but it isn't very extensive so I won't go into anymore than to just say that it is there.

Overall, this was a pretty good book. It felt like I was reading a school text book in some areas which may or may not be good depending on what kind of books you like to read. The information was interesting though, and would probably be most interesting if you read each of the developmental sections when your child reaches them or right before she reaches them. Reading the sections all at once was a bit much for me.


Review from my site:
http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2010/...

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading numerous books on various approaches to sleep for infants and young children, this is the book that made them all make sense. The main idea of this book is that, according to current research, ANY of the popular sleep training methods can be appropriate if they are carried through consistently but that much trouble can be spared by applying the method at the right stages of the child's development. The authors identify various developmental stages in the first three years of life and detail the emotional and cognitive changes experienced during each stage. They then apply this background to understanding how the child might react to changes in sleep routine during each stage and how the parents can tailor their approach to achieve the best results.

The authors are research scientists and their approach makes extensive use of studies, research, and data (Dr. Granic's now-defunct blog is an additional and fascinating wealth of child development research, if you can find it). This is something I found sorely lacking in many of the popular "sleep training" books which often purport to relay the "one right way" based on personal experiences of the author or rationalizations from an adult emotional context (I'm looking at you, Dr. Sears!) and provide little or no research-based evidence for their conclusions. This book cuts past the finger-pointing and provides parents with the facts they need to make the right decisions for their unique situations. This is a very worthwhile read for anyone interested in sleep issues or child development in general.

[Louise · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

I read this book, thinking it would be about different sleep training methods, but that was only chapter 5 of this book. To see what this book is about, you have to look at the title. Bed*timing*. The book divides a child's development into 2-month long windows and tells the reader what's happening neurologically and emotionally in those windows. Then it goes on and describes the pros and cons of sleep training in those windows.

Although it's a short book, I still found it needlessly repetitive. I could also do without the anecdotal evidence. I know some people like that in a childcare book, but I find them boring and unhelpful. If I wanted anecdotal evidence, I'd read a blog.

I suggest looking elsewhere for information about how to sleep train. If you want to know *when* to sleep train, then this book is for you.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The content in this book is great, and there approach to parenting (there are not hard and fast rules, parents know there child best, but let us tell you about some patterns that might be helpful) is lovely. The over view of development and the discussion of the pro's and cons of different approaches were great. Reading this book help me and my wife stop being paralyzed by fear of harming our kids by doing the wrong night time parenting and helped us come up with a plan.

However, although the authors try to be approachable they still have a very academic style which can make the book hard to read, and a little long winded. I recommend reading the chart at the back, and then flipping threw to the sections that interest you.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really love that the author of this book does not espouse one form of sleep training over another. Just like most parenting, I don't believe in the one size fits all method. Instead, this book examines children's developmental milestones and juxtaposes those against learning to sleep. It explains why there are many times that are good for learning to sleep alone and others are not. You can choose Ferber or whatever method you want to actually get them to sleep but emphasizes that choosing the right time is more imporant than the method. I really wish I'd had this book with my first two children.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is supposed to be used in conjunction with epert baby/toddler sleep advice. It defines and describes different developmental periods in a baby/child's life and explains how the physical and emotional development have certain ages where changing a child's sleep patterns will be more affective than others.
It was new information to me, and I have read lots of baby sleep books and articles.

[Jacquie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my favorite kind of baby sleep book, as it presents the pros and cons of several different methods of sleep training while supporting parents in choosing what is right for their family. It's a quick read, though I may have quickly skimmed the sections that don't quite pertain to me right now. I'll just reread this book when the time comes.

[CMT-Michigan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some good information on the development of children and when it's a good time to work on sleep routines and how to get a child to sleep. However, the book focused more on WHEN to get them to sleep instead of HOW. Reader should be aware of that when picking the book up.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is more of a theoretical companion piece to whatever sleep technique you choose to implement with your child, outlining how certain developmental stages might affect your child's ability to sleep through the night. Useful, enlightening and easy to read.

[Caroline · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book could have been 25 pages long. Very repetitive, easy to skim. Seems like helpful information. We're waiting another month to really attempt sleep training because of this book, hopefully saving everyone some pain.

[Meagan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Crazy helpful! I appreciated that you could choose your own method of sleep training and the information on WHEN to sleep train was excellent. It helps to know when 'separation anxiety' is most prevalent and that sleep training will likely be unsuccessful.

[Yu · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book offer a lot information during my son's sleep training. Information is always welcome, a mother's intuition will tell which to follow or even built her own way, for the unique family and little one.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything you need to know about how development affects your child's sleep. Wish I had read this with my first.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked that this book covered a huge spread of developmental stages and used a great, quick reference age chart for best/worst times to green light whatever sleep training you use!

[Kylene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful. The authors wrote a lot about childhood development and then explain the different ages of when is best to sleep train baby.

[Maggie Murdock Nichols · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clear and well written! You can read straight through or jump around to what's relevant.