You'RE Too Kind

by richard-stengel

Okay, who was the first flatterer? If you guessed Satan, you'd be close, but according to You're Too Kind, flattery began with chimpanzees, who groom each other all day long. In fact, flattery is an adaptive behavior that has helped us survive since prehistoric times. Our flattery is strategic praise, and to illustrate its myriad forms, Richard Stengel takes us on a witty, idiosyncratic tour, from chimps to the God of the Old Testament to the troubadour poets of the Middle Ages, all the way through Dale Carnegie and Monica Lewinsky's adoring love letters to her "Big Creep." Flattery thrives in hierarchical settings like royal courts or Fortune 500 boardrooms, and it flows both upward and downward. Downward is usually easier, but studies show it works best on those who already have high opinions of themselves. Stengel sees public flattery as an epidemic in our society, and private praise as being all too scarce. Most often, though, flattery these days is just a harmless deception, a victimless crime that often ends up making both the giver and the receiver feel a little better. In short, flattery works.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Society

320 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

Reviews

[Joaquina Pereira · Rating 4 out of 5]

Escalpeliza ao longo da história a lisonja e o "pecado" da vaidade, muito interessante e diria, até didático. Uma perspetiva sagaz sobre a natureza humana

[Maurizio Codogno · Rating 4 out of 5]

Forse adulare non sarà un'arte né una scienza, ma sicuramente è un'attività che vanta millenni di esperienze umane. Con questo libro abbiamo la possibilità di scoprire come il concetto stesso di piaggeria, o di leccaculaggine se si preferisce, sia mutato nel corso dei secoli. L'autore tende sempre a prenderci per i fondelli, quasi riproponendo verso noi lettori i vari stili che man mano presenta - mi raccomando, state attenti a cosa è stato fatto il secolo scorso! Un plauso per la traduzione di Daniele Ballarini, che nonostante l'ovvia ripetitività e la necessità di mappare una serie di quasi sinonimi - tradurre l'appendice dev'essere stato un vero tour de force - mi pare ottima.

[Avaritie Von Maximus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dacă vrei să-ți iei inițierea în arta lingușirii, cartea e numai bună ca să vezi cam care e planul de atac. Sau să înveți să te ferești.

Este o carte ademenitoare, promițătoare, dar degeaba dacă nu pui in aplicare și testezi mai departe de ai învățat.

[Jack Kinsella · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderfully erudite and entertaining piece. Be warned though, this isn't a self-help guide, so if that's what you're looking for, find another title.

[Ralphz · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tried but I couldn't. Maybe, Richard Stengel, you're just too brilliant for my ordinary mind (see what I did there?).

This is supposed to be a look at how flattery works, and I guess it is, but it's a curious mix of heavy academic tome and pop culture references, the latter of which seem to be salted into the text to make it less ponderous.

For the claims he makes, he provides no proof, just aphorisms and jokes. It's not convincing, and it's not funny.

Case in point, he claims: "There is no punishment for false flattery." Sure there is: A lack of trust. Skepticism. Cynicism. If everyone constantly lies for their own advantage, you can't trust anyone. And that's a sad state of affairs.

A solid DNF.

[Piego di Libri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Questo di Stengel è un vero e proprio manuale che a volte sembrerebbe rasentare l’autorevolezza del saggio filosofico, se non fosse piacevolmente scritto con estrema sottigliezza e fine umorismo.
http://www.piegodilibri.it/recensioni...

[Jonathan]

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