The Other Side of Paradise: A Memoir

by Staceyann Chin

No one knew Staceyann's mother was pregnant until a dangerously small baby was born on the floor of her grandmother's house in Lottery, Jamaica, on Christmas Day. Staceyann's mother did not want her, and her father was not present. No one, except her grandmother, thought Staceyann would survive.

It was her grandmother who nurtured and protected and provided for Staceyann and her older brother in the early years. But when the three were separated, Staceyann was thrust, alone, into an unfamiliar and dysfunctional home in Paradise, Jamaica. There, she faced far greater troubles than absent parents. So, armed with a fierce determination and uncommon intelligence, she discovered a way to break out of this harshly unforgiving world.

Staceyann Chin, acclaimed and iconic performance artist, now brings her extraordinary talents to the page in a brave, lyrical, and fiercely candid memoir about growing up in Jamaica. She plumbs tender and unsettling memories as she writes about drifting from one home to the next, coming out as a lesbian, and finding the man she believes to be her father and ultimately her voice. Hers is an unforgettable story told with grace, humor, and courage.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Queer, LGBT, Feminism, Biography, Biography Memoir

304 pages, Paperback

First published March 29, 2009

About the author

Poet, actor, and performing artist Staceyann Chin is the author of the new poetry collection Crossfire: A Litany For Survival, the critically acclaimed memoir The Other Side of Paradise, cowriter and original performer in the Tony Award–winning Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam on Broadway, and author of the one-woman shows Hands Afire, Unspeakable Things, Border/Clash, and MotherStruck. She has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show and 60 Minutes, and her poetry been featured in the New York Times and the Washington Post. She proudly identifies as Caribbean, Black, Asian, lesbian, a woman, and a resident of New York City, as well as a Jamaican national.

Reviews

[BookOfCinz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written with heart and courage, Staceyann Chin walks us through a very difficult period in her life

In the Other Side of Paradise Staceyann Chin seeks to peace together her family, the trauma she faced while growing up and how being abandoned by her mother impacted her. Her memoir opens with her trying to figure out how her mom and dad met. What she knows is that her mother hid her pregnancy until the day of her very birth and she was born premature with zero hope of surviving.
Chin, takes us through growing up in Jamaica with her brother and her grandmother who was her primary guardian. Life was hard for her, but through a series of small breaks and preservation she was able to make it to a top performer.

I really enjoyed this memoir. Staceyann Chin did not shy away from anything and showed us how hard it can get in Jamaica. I loved how she was fought for the life that she wanted, and remained true to herself.

[Phyllis | Mocha Drop · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Other Side of Paradise is the childhood memoir of Staceyann Chin, an award-winning, highly celebrated performing artist, spoken word poet, and political activist. In the novel, she reminisces about her early beginnings in rural Jamaica living in a shack with her brother and her partially-deaf, illiterate maternal grandmother. From the onset, she recalls grappling with abject poverty, abandonment by both parents, and life with abusive, dysfunctional relatives. When her aged grandmother is unable to care for both children, they try living with an uncle until their visiting mother's antics places the arrangement in peril. The aftermath of the family debacle is her brother living with his father and Stacey placed in the care of a controlling aunt with lecherous sons. The separation of the then close-knit siblings causes irreparable damage; their relationship is broken, their closeness is severed and remains strained and distant well into adulthood.

Educated at the school of hard knocks, she chronicles in detail how she navigates her childhood with an inherent wit, high intelligence, and natural determination, not just to survive, but to excel. In a bold move, she contacts the man rumored to be her father and negotiates a deal to pay for her education, which she uses as a vehicle to escape her aunt's home and pave a way toward a respectable future. There are also glimpses of kindness evidenced by relatives, nuns, friends that keep her spirits high and help restore her strength in some of her darkest moments. Her talents and outspokenness propel her through school and almost by accident she stumbles upon a love of theatre and words and the rest is, as they say, history.

Although her story is well-told and detailed in its rendering, there is a small nit with the uneven pacing and the delayed introduction regarding her sexuality. The majority of the story is steeped in early childhood tales, whereas the young adult and collegiate years seemed rushed and clipped. Known widely as a vocal Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) activist, it was a bit surprising that her acknowledgement and/or attraction to the same sex was not mentioned and/or explored until her collegiate years fairly late into the novel. It also concludes with her escape to New York City to avoid sexual harassment/persecution and pursue her dreams. Recommended to her fans and those interested in Jamaican culture and studies.

[J Beckett · Rating 5 out of 5]

For several years I have followed the poetry of Staceyann Chin before I happened upon this gem. As stated by biblio-friend Nea, the book was a slow trek at the beginning, told from the perspective of a young girl whose observations and emotional development was filled with the bitter-sweetness of hope, neglect,discovery and (eventual)self-fulfilling triumph. Chin does a wondrous job of providing the reader with the images and emotions of a child of mixed heritage growing up in Jamaica and the view of Caribbean society toward a child who is virtually orphaned (although raised by relatives). Staceyann's journey into adulthood includes, the (seemingly) struggles with sexual identity acceptance and eventual outspokenness and complete personal pride-filled embracing of that identity despite the threat of bodily harm. The book is an emotional walk through the life of one of America's greatest poets and beautiful minds. It is a beautiful read and a one which will have you turning the pages until there are none left to turn.

[Nikhil P. Freeman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing how a person can grow up unwanted and unloved, first by her family and then by her environment, to then go on to create a beautiful life through using her voice without being swallowed up by silences or consumed by uncontrollable rage against the wounds of childhood.

[Jardley · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I liked the story at the beginning and the middle, but towards the end it just felt rushed, nor did I get a clear sense of the process of her realizing she was a lesbian. It feels like an option she makes rather than something she realizes was always in her. I also got the belief that maybe she took to being a homosexual because of the tribulations that occur in her childhood at the hands of men. Homosexuality and she are hinted at scarcely within the book before the final showdown but then just feels out of place or told in "oh yeah by the way" form. I didn't resonate much with her and the story because of it, though I felt pity and concern for her childhood situation. I wish I did though, it surprises be that though I've heard her previous spoken word, the book did not do much for me. I'm happy to learn more but I couldn't communicate with her much in her experience.
Edit: God I anticipated so much more. Makes me sad.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a fan of memoir so this was right up my alley. Not bad. Like others have mentioned, the ending left me wanting. More.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Other Side of Paradise written by Staceyann Chin is startling in its clarity, fresh in its narration and the writing is as bold as the young poet, writer, lesbian activist is daily in her tweets or one of her performances. TOSoP is about a young girl who refused to be quiet. She came into the world unexpectedly with lungs much bigger than her premature body should have had.

What I love most about The Other Side of Paradise is the writer’s voice, specifically Staceyann the child’s voice. The voice is authentic. You can’t manufacture this. Some would say the child’s voice is audacious, and it is. In a culture where it is trendy to create in-your-face work, The Other Side of Paradise doesn’t have to scream at you to captivate you. Young Staceyann not knowing how dangerous it is to speak her mind honestly makes you cringe and want to hush the child before she says one more thing that earns her a scolding, a smack and rejection. It’s the cruel reality of being innocent and vulnerable that wallops you upside the head.

This memoir plays out like a daring Indi film. The footage looks like it’s unedited but the rendering is so flawless, you know it’s a carefully crafted work of a real writer. While we get Staceyann as-is there is nothing clumsy or awkward here. This work isn’t burdened with analysis nor is it a sanitized, hindsight-laden trope. Instead we come to know Chin through reliving her experiences and digesting choice reflections of what those experiences mean. Staceyann the child suffers abuse, neglect, abandonment and rejection but she doesn’t carry her victimization around like a child’s tattered blanket. She calls it what it is and does what she can rid herself of it so she can get on with becoming the woman she wants to be.

There are many poignant episodes in this memoir. In all of them, I was so vested that often I was having an internal dialogue with Staceyann: Oh, no, Staceyann, no, not this time. Don’t answer. Don’t tell the truth. Be quiet. Instead of pandering, Chin gives us relief when we need it with organic episodes that say even when life is ugly we find some joy. When the young girl discovers she can pleasure herself, I laughed and ached with her. When her aunt scolds her, when she tells Staceyann that her life is her own fault, and it is Staceyann’s responsibility to avoid being hurt by others, I relived the sting of being shamed and the isolation of knowing there is no one you can cry out to, to protect you, and I know many women who figuratively know the desperation of wrapping yourself tightly in a filthy, disgusting sheet. Ms. Chin’s memoir is a testament that while we may been violated, we do not have to remain victims. We can fight back and win.

I knew little about Ms. Chin’s work or her before reading The Other Side of Paradise. What I discovered was a child I did know. I am glad I took the time to listen, to listen to the child who grew, who dared to not be quiet and who later became the woman who was audacious enough to tell her story. Ms. Chin’s memoir is impressive, provocative, brilliant writing. It is an unflinching look at the other side of Paradise.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a great book. I began reading it without expectations, it was on my TBR, and I was determined to get through this massive list (heh, yeah right, I'll finish getting through my TBR when I'm 60). Anyways, I began reading it and immediately loved the earnest, naive, and child-like voice from which Staceyann writes, this is a version of her former self that she seems to know intimately (I could NEVER summon an 8 year old Ashley, let alone a 3 or 4 year old version). Chin does a great job of not giving us the day to day, but hitting the highs and lows of her life while evoking emotion in all the right places, giving us a bit of sweetness and honesty amongst really tough and hard to get through parts of her life. I really enjoyed this peek into the coming of age of a very well known figure in the LGBTQIA+ community, and how strong and HAPPY she is within herself!

[Obsidian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please note that I gave this book 4.5 stars, however since Goodreads does not have half stars I rounded this up to 5 stars.

This book has a lot of things going on with it, but I really did enjoy it. There were some flow issues here and there and the epilogue honestly did not even feel part of the preceding chapters. That said, I really enjoyed this one and am glad that I read it.

The Other Side of Paradise is Staceyann Chin's memoir about being born in Lottery, Jamaica. A half Jamaican and Chinese girl, she and her older half brother Delano are raised by their maternal grandmother. Staceyann is a strong willed little girl who loves her brother and grandmother, but still believes that one day her mother will come back for them from Canada.

From there the Other Side of Paradise showcases Staceyann's constantly changing living situation. When the family has to move from their little home and in with Delano's uncle's family the family of three has a hard time settling in. Staceyann is defiant and upset that the house that they live in is not welcoming and keeps clashing with her aunt. Staceyann as a little girl realizing that her and her brother are not really wanted and are treated differently than the aunt and uncle's children was so sad. And the memoir showcases how though Staceyann thinks of things as fair are not the way things are going to go for her or her brother.

Eventually she is split up from her grandmother and brother when her mother comes back to Jamaica and causes her and her brother to be put out of her uncle's home after. Seeing Staceyann shuffled from place to place and eventually just staying with a family she is not related to all of the while telling herself that she will do great things so that her father and mother will regret leaving her is heartbreaking. What is worse is that she has no way to stay in touch with her grandmother or brother. And when Staceyann eventually runs into her brother again he is distant and acts as if he really doesn't want to know her.

One thing as a reader that I was puzzled over was that when Staceyann meets the man that she believes is her father, why he and her mother had such a bad falling out. Staceyann's mother does not want her to see him and says that if he knows where she is then he will steal her away. Of course nothing like that occurs and I puzzled at how Staceyann seemed to be more forgiving of her mother than her father in the memoir. I think him denying that he was her father and still giving her money for her schooling which had to have been harsh was horrible. But, Staceyann finds out that her mother takes calls from her brother Delano sometimes, but has done nothing at all to stay in touch with her. Her mother also left her at a home where she had to defend herself from being raped. It seems as if for Delano he was more aware of how lacking the adults were in their world and he seemed to shrink from doing or saying too much of anything to have anyone notice him which would have prompted them to maybe kick him out. Staceyann seems to still have a belief in her mother which does not seem warranted at all.

Through all of the living tribulations that Staceyann goes through, we also have her coming to the realization that she is not bisexual as she once assumed, but is a lesbian. Being gay in Jamaica in the 1990s as she was, was definitely a big thing and though many caution her from being so loud and outspoken about it she refuses to hide her sexual preferences. Those parts of the story were sad as well as many as Staceyann's friends and classmates shunned her. Frankly I don't think I could have been as brave as she was in certain parts of this story.

The writing was sharp though another comment I have is that parts of the book are written in Jamaican patois. It did make it hard to figure out what people were saying at times, but I managed to figure it out after a while and then I didn't notice it. However, anytime we switched from the progression of the memoir to someone "speaking" it was a bit jarring.

I have to say this aspect of Jamaica was fascinating to me. I had no idea that so many Chinese and other nationalities had settled there and had intermarried or at least had children with Jamaicans. It felt like a whole new community I had no idea existed had sprung up.

The epilogue made me sad though. It seems as if Staceyann found her own way in the world, and has a lot of friends, but her family situation is still tenuous at best.

[James F · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book for the Goodreads group which is reading Jamaican literature, this is the memoir of a Jamaican woman from the age of about four to her emigration to New York in her early twenties. Actually, I think that it is somewhat fictionalized, or at least "filled in", because I don't believe anyone could remember such details and conversations from when they were four years old. I can believe that the overall narrative is true, though. Staceyann Chin was abandonned by her mother shortly after she was born; the man she was told was her father denies his responsibility. She lived first with her grandmother, and then with a succession of increasingly abusive relatives, until she is thrown out and gets her own apartment at fifteen (which was probably the best thing that happened to her.) Despite her domestic problems, she does well in school, passes the exam to get into high school, and attends college with support from the man who denies being her father and from his brother who nevertheless considers her his niece. After coming out as a lesbian in college, she is ostracized and almost raped, and decides to emigrate. The book ends with her leaving the country, although there is a brief epilogue about her subsequent visits and what happened to her relatives. She is apparently now a successful poet and performance artist in New York.

Chin is half Chinese and lighter-skinned than most of her relatives and the students in her schools; this seems to be a common factor in many of the novels and other books for this group, and assuming that we are reading a fairly representative sample (and these are the books that I see on most of the Internet lists of Jamaican literature) it must be a tendency in Jamaican literature, perhaps because lighter-skinned Jamaicans have more opportunity for education and writing books. Unlike many of the novels, however, race, while always present in the background, plays a lesser role than poverty (at the beginning) and gender and orientation issues (toward the end.) Both positive and negative characters in the book are extremely religious and use religion as a way of controlling her; the chapter titles are nearly all quotations from the Bible.

Chin is a good writer and her life story is interesting and even inspiring. I may have to apologize for over-reacting (in a previous review) to Patricia Powell's use of "plus", because Chin uses it in several places (although not as often, and it's less jarring in a twentieth century teenager than in a nineteenth century adult character) so it may be a "Jamaicanism."

[Jacqueline · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is set in Jamaica and tells the story of Staceyann's early childhood days through to her college years.
Being an 'unwanted' child, she - like any other young child would be - is excited at the thought of meeting her mother for the first time, only for her mother to show resentment when they meet.

Her mother subsequently abandons her (after telling her that she will return after 2 weeks) so she ends up living with relatives and friends. She lives through sexual assault, physical and verbal abuse and often seen as the perpetrator, rather than the victim. This is typical of life as a youngster in Jamaica, even to this day.

She is very intellectual for a girl of her age and as such asks many questions only to be scolded and told that she 'chats too much'. Her only comfort is her grandmother who encourages and listens to her.

From the start, this book had me engaged. The language is easy to read and follow. As a Jamaican, I resonated with a lot of the responses that the elders gave to the young Staceyann. These are so typical of Jamaican's.

Through all the ups and downs, Staceyann came out as a victor and not a victim.

Staceyann is a bold, brave woman who knew what she wanted from an early age and nothing or nobody could stop her from achieving it.

This is a story of hope, determination and courage, despite feeling unwanted and unloved.
Highly recommend. I look forward to reading more of Staceyann's books.

[dora · Rating 4 out of 5]

won this in a goodreads "contest" and took a while to get to me because of stupid mail issues...
anyways, enjoyed the memoir of this person growing up in jamaica. sad how religious and prejudice and selfish people can run/ruin children's lives like this poor girl had to deal with however, from the very beginnings of her life(her arrival into the world alone will get you!)she was going to be a survivor! written well and with jamaican dialects thrown in, it was interesting insight to lives i would never know. parts were horribly sad and others very funny. she has lived a very interesting life and fought for the right to be herself wherever she is! poverty, money, religion,these things help shape your life, but staceyann chin shows that no matter what else goes on around you, you are always what you are and no one can change that!

[Trish Rowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

After seeing Stacey Ann at a conference I was captivated by her strong, ambitious charisma. I immediately knew I had to purchase and read her book. As a native Jamaican I must say that this book hit home on many levels and I was blown away by her strength to overcome. She is a voice and inspiration to many. I loved the book.

[Danni Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

Staceyann Chin could write a book on just about any topic and I would want to read it, so I was excited when this one turned up on a recommended reading list from a friend. I read it over a week ago and I'm still shaking. Gorgeous.

cw: child abuse, child and adult sexual abuse (described in detail), race/class injustice, sexism, homoantagonism

[Karanja · Rating 4 out of 5]

I needed more!!!

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is terrific! It was hard to put down. It is the memoir of Staceyann Chin, a NY-based lesbian poet/performer, as she grows up abandoned and abused as an extremely precocious and determined child in 1970's Jamaica. The subject matter is heavy and may disturb those who have experienced such misfortunes in their own histories, but the style is light, self-reflective and witty. One could make a comparison with James Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, in terms of hardships faced, the dominance of religion, the resilience of the protagonist and her/his eventual thriving as an artist through the power of education (and the similar lilt of the Irish and Jamaican dialects). This memoir is additionally interesting because of it's treatment of issues of gender relations, sexual and racial identities in Jamaica. (If anyone is familiar with Chin's poetry and performances, the book contains none of the salty language that might be offensive to some).

I had the great good fortune to attend a reading/performance of this memoir in Chicago last week. It was mind-blowing! In reading the text, I could not have imagined how the story would be enlivened and made so much more profound through Chin's astounding performance. She is a true talent, generous soul and quick-witted spirit. For any feminists out there, you should check out her website which contains clips of her live performance of a fabulous poem (again, not for the non-cussing set).

[Erika Coldman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir was beautifully written. Reading about Chin's upbringing made me frustrated. I was angry at the way her family treated her, saddened by how her father refused to accept her and somewhat understanding of her mother abandoning both her & her brother (initially, I thought she was on drugs but then I summed it up to her just being able to care for her children--doesn't make it acceptable but…).

I'm thankful that Chin allowed us readers into such an intimate space, reliving painful memories of her past. Her vulnerability made for a great read, making me recall my childhood and how I was nothing like her. I admire her toughness; she wasn't afraid of anyone or anything. I loved that she always asked questions, regardless of if it was none of her business or not. I wish I possessed that same spirit.

This story will make you feel a lot of things. As I neared the end, I found myself wanting more. I was glad for her when she made the decision to leave Jamaica, starting over in NY. There she found them freedom she desired--the same kind that I seek.

I'm definitely a fan of Staceyann Chin after reading her memoir.

[Mistinguette Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Performance poet Staceyann Chin writes a compelling memoir about growing up motherless, financially and emotionally impoverished, determined, and angry in Jamaica. One of the few memoirs or pieces of fiction I've read that contextualizes finding voice for for contemporary West Indian women, and coming out in a culture that is explicit about its repression of non-heterosexual desire. I particularly enjoyed the subtle exploration of the complex relationships between Americans of Chinese descent and those of African descent.

Well written page turner, although the one-note voice of rage -- which is perfectly justified -- becomes tedious reading after awhile. Reminds me of U.S. black women's writing from the 70's and 80's: I couldn't help but wince to notice that the author could only find black male and white lesbian literary/cultural role models in America during her own violent coming out in the 90's.

[Pamster · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just started. I'm happy I heard her read from this book. If I didn't have her voice in my head, I don't think I'd get the hilarity.

Okay, super compelling memoir about an awesome, super smart Jamaican girl who just get shuffled around between family members in a terrifying way her whole young life. So much terrible shit happens to her, and so many people despise her for not shutting up. The thing is she is incredibly funny, smart, and insightful, so this doesn't read like a misery memoir at all. The constant abuse she takes for being a girl, and later for being queer, are infuriating and nauseating and make you want to crack motherfuckers' skulls. But you equally want to hang out with Staceyann, she's brill. I want the next volume! When I saw her read, she said she's on her way to South Africa to do work with girls and women who have been raped. She is going to change lives!

[sash. · Rating 5 out of 5]

1. One of my favourite books. The fact that I went to a reading where she signed the book does mean favourite points went up.

2. Every young LGBT person from the Caribbean should read this.

3. If you're young, Jamaican, queer, not queer, too rebellious, too outspoken, liberal, a free-thinker, this one is a must read.

4. Heartbreaking in some parts and amazingly uplifting in others. A strong sense of purpose and will is very clear in her writing.

5. One of the most inspiring books I've ever read. Bar none.

6. In a few words: spectacular, heart-breaking, affirming, encouraging, heart-warming, hilarious and downright amazing.

[Frances Donovan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me cry with its message of hope and redemption in the face of adversity. Stacyann Chin is that most rare of animals: an out (and outspoken) lesbian from the Carribean. Parts of this book resonated with my own experiences growing up, and parts from my own five-year marriage to a lesbian of Puerto Rican descent.

I first came across Chin's photograph in a magazine with the caption "this is what a lesbian looks like." With her cocoa-butter skin and bushy 'fro, her willowy figure and feminine appearance, Chin's visibility speaks to my own as a queer femme.

[Leanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a good, solid first write. The problem is that I did not feel invited into the experience, connected to the characters or the author, nor did I get a feeling of experiencing Jamaica as the author did. Having said that, if you want to know what a nation looks like and what it does to its people, especially its children, with 2% wealthy and 98% poverty--look to Jamaica. You also get a real "aha" moment why the United States used to be considered a "breath of fresh air" to the rest of the world. We do not have to follow the pack. We can still honor our "breath of fresh air."

[Rosanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

How Stacy Chin survived this upbringing is a miracle. Her telling of the story is part heartrenching and some times sounds as if she made it up.She and her brother are abandoned by their mother when they are babies. Her grandmother struggles to provides food and shelter.Stacy is shunted from relative to relative,never having a home of her own.She lives in Jamaica and struggles to find her real father who may or maynot be Junior Chin. Her exceptional intelligence pulls her through but some of the things she experiences are unbelievable.

[Lakeesha J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you ever want need and want a glimpse into the lives of Jamaican women and their struggle for equality this is the book to read. Staceyann's vulnerable and open when telling her this aspect of her life. Childhood can make or break a human. For Stacyann it definitely makes her. I don't want to spoil the book by telling any details but if you love Staceyann the poet you will definitely find her memoir revealing and wonderful.

[Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in one sitting. It was really very good and drew you in. It was easy to forget this was somoene's real life story and not fiction. I'm glad the author was able to finally find out who she is.

[Carla · Rating 2 out of 5]

Stacey Ann Chin had a difficult, abusive childhood which she survived thanks to her beauty and sharp intelligence. Unfortunately, I have read too many other memoirs of a similar genre. I was left with the feeling that the book was more therapeutic than literary.

[Kellee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad. I wouldn't have read this book on my own but it was a book club pick. Staceyann annoyed me when she got in college due to the way she made a name for herself. Overall, not a bad read but I wouldn't read it again or suggest it to anyone.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was an ok book.

[Nea · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir got off to a rocky start for me (lots of conversations between a 3 and 5 year old) but I ended up really getting into Staceyann's story. What a strong and remarkable woman!

[Safa Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The Other Side of Paradise" is a memoir of poet Staceyann Chin's childhood in Jamaica. It was a difficult read because she had a hard and troubled childhood.