It took a year for me to finish this book. It is actually an easy one to read but try to get something out of it surely took some time. The only "downfall" mainly from my side is that I am an Asian so some of the perspectives in the book would suit Caucasian's life more but yeah limitation is from your head and not sometimes form the reality so what the hell I gonna enjoy my life as much as I can. And here is my taken note from the book:
- Firstly Amy used the term half - orange a lot on her book - it would refer to the idea partner, the person you re meant to share your life with, who adores you so much and so on. And she wants everyone who reads the book to believed that the chance to meet a person like that is possible in our life. Our job is never loosing our hope to meet the person. She recommend to use the optimistic magnetism: Believe you can have it/ Admit you want it to yourself and others/ visualize and imagine feeling yourself in the relationship you want/ openly hope for it like you re never hoped for anything before/ and the most important thing is live happy life and the universe will have your own plan for you.
- She wants us to stop looking desperately for that person but focus on yourself and become the happy person now so you can enjoy the relationship later on. You want a partner to enhance your life not to complete you. You are better be your complete self first and I totally agree with her.
- Start to look at what kind of relationship you want, instead of what kind of man you want. Open about type! Also look at how you would be with your partner, think about what you would offer your partner is another way of pinpointing the relationship you want. More important that what you think you want might be different than what you need. I really like one think that she highlighted in the book: You don't want to be rescued. Rescue yourself!
- Smile with your whole heart, whole liver and the world will smile back to you :) Also practice: Positive visualization: practice of creating an image in your mind is eye of a positive result you would like to see happen, then visually walking yourself straight toward. Amy the writer will give us a homework here: picture yourself in 10 years - where, what you do, what you will do and focus on your desire everyday. You can also make a dream board where you cut out images that represent experiences you want to have in the future with the loved one (sounds like an art therapy activity for me but surely it works!).
- Go to the place where you love to be there, do what you want to do for yourself not because of the man or anyone else. Become a lovable woman that even yourself can feel in love with your image. Be your authentic and satisfied self for yourself first! BECOME THE WOMAN YOU WANT TO BECOME IN YOUR DREAM RELATIONSHIP: happy, loving, adventurous, smart, confident - the woman you know you are!
- Look at couple in positive way - that you know that love appears, good man and good woman still exist!
- Amy gave us some scenario so you can plant the seeds of love in your mind like think about the end-of-day situation think about what you and your loved one do after work everyday. Another scenario is the plan - vacation image: where, when, what you do with your other one when you are in vacation. The birthday party/ Valentine day in 5 years and so on.
- Your bumpy path through bad dates and relationships is experience gained. The tough stuff makes us stronger and wiser and gives us empathy and understanding for a partnership, as well as the ability to appreciate the love you get. Believe on YNK speech: YOU NEVER KNOW what surprises lie around the corner for you.
- Remember you live by yourself but you are not alone.
- Pessimistic explanations for setbacks have distinctive qualities about them: pervasive, permanent, personal: so get those words out of your mind and your vocabulary: always, never, ever...
- Most important is believe in the law of attraction. You are positive and you would extra the good vibes and life and vice versa.
- Look at dating like the match game concentration: look at it from a temporary, specific, impersonal point of view.
- Women also tend to ruminate more about stressful or depressing situation not like men seems to distract themselves. At the end when you keep going on about negative thoughts it would stick around you and cant not disappear.
- Don't wait to think about your future love until you 've perfected yourself. The right one should love yourself for your good and bad too.
- Change your life - small/ big. If you are not happy about something why don't make a plan to make it better, excited on your own way. Look into possibilities of your future and relax into your life right now!
- Don't quit when you are facing problem but finding a solution first - you really don't want to be a serial quitter in your life.
- Some tips for your date: Commit to complementing your date on 3 things! Ask interesting questions like best trip?/ scarcest, weirdest thing you have done?... Buy a lottery ticker together and talk about what you would buy if you win it! Take your dates to place you really want to go but cant before so at least you still enjoy the experience if you seem not like a good fit for the other person! The worse the date the funnier story would be so date and learn and enjoy the ride!
At the end, we all have walls. No one wants to be hurt or disappointed. No one wants to say: "I believe it will happen for me! and then be left out there alone, unwanted. You are not so unlovable and broken that no one will want you. Your half is going to love you for exactly who you are.