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Balancing Act
What do you call a feminist who is a mother? A femimom? A mominist? Or just a confused woman balancing the many roles in her life: working professional, mother, wife, daughter...
Meet Tara Mistri, stay-at-home mom and frustrated architect: a baker of biscuits and maker of bricks.
Inspired by and in total awe of the Salk Institute in California, Tara hankers to replicate its clean lines and perfect symmetry in her own life. But with two small children to look after, her set squares and scales are used for scraping plasticine out of the carpet and her career looks like it may remain on the backburner forever. Then, one day, she is offered a job and finds herself on the horns of a dilemma.
Goaded by her own personal demon — a nagging Yakshi who just won’t let her alone — Tara’s struggle to balance life and love, work and playdoh will have readers nodding in recognition, wincing in sympathy and laughing along with her.
Meet Tara Mistri, stay-at-home mom and frustrated architect: a baker of biscuits and maker of bricks.
Inspired by and in total awe of the Salk Institute in California, Tara hankers to replicate its clean lines and perfect symmetry in her own life. But with two small children to look after, her set squares and scales are used for scraping plasticine out of the carpet and her career looks like it may remain on the backburner forever. Then, one day, she is offered a job and finds herself on the horns of a dilemma.
Goaded by her own personal demon — a nagging Yakshi who just won’t let her alone — Tara’s struggle to balance life and love, work and playdoh will have readers nodding in recognition, wincing in sympathy and laughing along with her.
236 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2009
2 people are currently reading
145 people want to read
About the author
Meera Godbole Krishnamurthy
2 books9 followersMeera Godbole-Krishnamurthy writes fiction rooted in architecture. She is the author of two novels: Gardens of Love (Speaking Tiger 2018), four interconnected stories with seventy of her own pen and ink illustrations, and Balancing Act (Zubaan/Penguin 2009) based on architecture and motherhood. Meera was born in Mumbai in 1968, she has lived in the Philippines, France, and the United States. She studied art and architecture at Oberlin College and Columbia University, and received a Masters of Architecture from the University of Virginia in 1992. She has studied writing in workshops at Stanford University, the University of Iowa Summer Festival, UCSD, and the La Jolla Writers Conference. She has taught at the NewSchool of Architecture and Design in San Diego. Since moving to India in 2007, she has been an architecture educator, conducted writing workshops, and been a contributor to Metropolis magazine. She now lives in Mumbai and is Editor-in-Chief of auction house Saffronart. Her next architecture themed novel is presently under construction.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
November 25, 2012
Motherhood is easily one of the most beautiful, emotional and transformational experiences for a woman. Everything else takes a backseat as she lets herself be consumed by its infinite pains and pleasures. Her career, which perhaps defined her identity and image until then, suddenly seems like a lame reason to step out and leave one's gurgling, stumbling bundle of joy. Every idea of feminism and self-identity is submerged under the deep sea of love that flows from her heart, as the life-giving, nurturer in her takes over completely.
Balancing Act captures this deep bond that a young mother forms with her two tiny tots. She's a harried but happy mother, who glows around the sacred and smug circle of her domestic life. Changing diapers, tucking in the kids in their beds with comforters, making star-shaped pastas and filling up juices in their fancy water-bottles , painting glittering nail polish on their tiny feet, playing with toy cars - it's a never-ending cycle of duties, which she performs with sacrosanct diligence and delight.
She feels privileged to be a mother. To an outsider, Tara Mistri touching 40 has a comfortable life, where she's a stay-at-home mom, with a supportive husband, Roshan who earns well, and travels often. Yet, she's disturbed when she sees herself being referred to as a 'housewife' at socials dos. People are baffled to learn that she does not work, inspite of her high educational qualifications and professional achievements. She rues the fact that motherhood is no more a justifiable reason to stay at home, not just in America -where she lives - but even among her friends and relatives in India. Having been out of touch with the professional world for long, she feels edgy and uncertain going to parties. Unsure and confused, Tara feels she may have been more suited to her grandma's times where it was natural for women to do nothing besides raising up children and minding the home. In today's changed times, when motherhood is just one of the different wonder caps that a woman dons, suddenly she seems like a mis-fit and traditionalist.
read the rest: http://sandyi.blogspot.com/2010/07/ba...
Balancing Act captures this deep bond that a young mother forms with her two tiny tots. She's a harried but happy mother, who glows around the sacred and smug circle of her domestic life. Changing diapers, tucking in the kids in their beds with comforters, making star-shaped pastas and filling up juices in their fancy water-bottles , painting glittering nail polish on their tiny feet, playing with toy cars - it's a never-ending cycle of duties, which she performs with sacrosanct diligence and delight.
She feels privileged to be a mother. To an outsider, Tara Mistri touching 40 has a comfortable life, where she's a stay-at-home mom, with a supportive husband, Roshan who earns well, and travels often. Yet, she's disturbed when she sees herself being referred to as a 'housewife' at socials dos. People are baffled to learn that she does not work, inspite of her high educational qualifications and professional achievements. She rues the fact that motherhood is no more a justifiable reason to stay at home, not just in America -where she lives - but even among her friends and relatives in India. Having been out of touch with the professional world for long, she feels edgy and uncertain going to parties. Unsure and confused, Tara feels she may have been more suited to her grandma's times where it was natural for women to do nothing besides raising up children and minding the home. In today's changed times, when motherhood is just one of the different wonder caps that a woman dons, suddenly she seems like a mis-fit and traditionalist.
read the rest: http://sandyi.blogspot.com/2010/07/ba...
May 10, 2012
I just finished reading this book. Like Tara I had my first child when I was 34 and second when I was 37, I took a break from career and then rejoined. So many times I felt it was my story. Very well written. I may not agree with Tara's solution to the problem and I could not reconcile to her husband going around with her friend claiming he is negelected and the fact that Tara did not ask his cooperation to make things better but then it is a very interesting novel for all mothers who view their motherhood as blessing but also need a world outside home to be happy.
June 30, 2023
This book is about Tara Mistri, a stay-at-home mom who takes break from architecture, to take care of her two children. The book beautifully captures the journey of Tara as a stay-at-home mom, her conversations with Yakshi – her own personal spirit, her obsession about Louis Khan’s architecture and Salk Institute, her insecurities when grappling with the tags like housewife and feminist and her conflict of having to choose between motherhood & career.
We see different women owning up to motherhood in their own ways in the book – Tara leaving her career to take care of children, Janet continuing to pursue her career in full swing. In this book we get to see Tara growing as a mother. From her youthful ignorance of deciding not to ever let to babysit her children to her realizing that no matter what she does, her kids are going to outgrow her & judge her for her choices someday. This book captures the essence of motherhood, especially in the moments when Tara admits “nurturing needs replenishment… Need love to give love…”
Even though times have changed for the better and we are progressing towards laws making motherhood easier, Tara’s admission that there cannot be true equality in marriage, if equality means both partners achieving their highest professional potential is real. Janet’s fear of not being able to become principal investigator, if she ever takes a break from her career is real. In this corporate competitive world, is permitting to take maternity leave for a short while enough? Are women constantly struggling to continuously having to choose between their role as a primary care giver and the self esteem they derive from their career? This book forces us to ask such difficult questions.
Though this book opens the minds of readers to the nuances and conflicts of motherhood, it would be an understatement to confine the book to just that. It is also about self discovery – Tara figuring out what she wants from life, about what makes the marriage work or rather what doesn’t and about architecture.
The relation between Tara and her husband, Roshan and how it is being effected by kids is shown subtly in the book. The most vulnerable and yet the strongest moment in their relationship is when Roshan reminds Tara there is so much of him to give and they ought to be asking so much more of each other. May be this is what makes a marriage work.
The author, herself an architect, keeps drawing parallels between life and architecture throughout the book. It is surprising and even liberating to be able to view mundane life experiences through long lasting architectural examples. This makes the book, a gem of a read, especially for architecture students giving them the best of both worlds.
The book spans over a period of few days, when Tara contemplates joining back the workforce and she introspects what she wants from life. Tara realizes she wants to be of value to this world. But she does not stop at that. She questions what is value? The contribution she makes to the world of architecture through her career or her contribution to her kid’s lives as a mother? By the end of the book we understand what one perceive as value is very subjective and personal. With her anecdotes from architecture, she cites Louis Kahn to summarize this tumultuous process of self discovery –
“It is important that you honour the material that you use, instead of shortchanging it or giving it an inferior job to do where it loses it character… For instance you consider the nature of the brick, you say to brick, ‘what do you want brick?’ And the brick says to you, ‘I like an arch.’”
P.S – This book has a straight narrative and yet is slightly deep, as the Tara carves her way to clarity. This book can be liberating for mothers, as they finally find words for the feelings piled up within them. For someone looking to read a book on motherhood or work life balance, it is a good read and is definitely worth the time.
We see different women owning up to motherhood in their own ways in the book – Tara leaving her career to take care of children, Janet continuing to pursue her career in full swing. In this book we get to see Tara growing as a mother. From her youthful ignorance of deciding not to ever let to babysit her children to her realizing that no matter what she does, her kids are going to outgrow her & judge her for her choices someday. This book captures the essence of motherhood, especially in the moments when Tara admits “nurturing needs replenishment… Need love to give love…”
Even though times have changed for the better and we are progressing towards laws making motherhood easier, Tara’s admission that there cannot be true equality in marriage, if equality means both partners achieving their highest professional potential is real. Janet’s fear of not being able to become principal investigator, if she ever takes a break from her career is real. In this corporate competitive world, is permitting to take maternity leave for a short while enough? Are women constantly struggling to continuously having to choose between their role as a primary care giver and the self esteem they derive from their career? This book forces us to ask such difficult questions.
Though this book opens the minds of readers to the nuances and conflicts of motherhood, it would be an understatement to confine the book to just that. It is also about self discovery – Tara figuring out what she wants from life, about what makes the marriage work or rather what doesn’t and about architecture.
The relation between Tara and her husband, Roshan and how it is being effected by kids is shown subtly in the book. The most vulnerable and yet the strongest moment in their relationship is when Roshan reminds Tara there is so much of him to give and they ought to be asking so much more of each other. May be this is what makes a marriage work.
The author, herself an architect, keeps drawing parallels between life and architecture throughout the book. It is surprising and even liberating to be able to view mundane life experiences through long lasting architectural examples. This makes the book, a gem of a read, especially for architecture students giving them the best of both worlds.
The book spans over a period of few days, when Tara contemplates joining back the workforce and she introspects what she wants from life. Tara realizes she wants to be of value to this world. But she does not stop at that. She questions what is value? The contribution she makes to the world of architecture through her career or her contribution to her kid’s lives as a mother? By the end of the book we understand what one perceive as value is very subjective and personal. With her anecdotes from architecture, she cites Louis Kahn to summarize this tumultuous process of self discovery –
“It is important that you honour the material that you use, instead of shortchanging it or giving it an inferior job to do where it loses it character… For instance you consider the nature of the brick, you say to brick, ‘what do you want brick?’ And the brick says to you, ‘I like an arch.’”
P.S – This book has a straight narrative and yet is slightly deep, as the Tara carves her way to clarity. This book can be liberating for mothers, as they finally find words for the feelings piled up within them. For someone looking to read a book on motherhood or work life balance, it is a good read and is definitely worth the time.
September 10, 2020
This book is a memoir of a woman's exploration of her identity beyond being a mother. Tara Mistry is an architect who became a housewife after becoming the mother of two young children. She is a doting mother and shares a loving relationship with her husband. But she is unable to maintain a healthy relationship with herself. In the book, she explores what she wants to be and how can she perform multiple roles.
It is written in the plain, bland language. It can be easily read in a few hours. The book has introduced me to the architect of the Salk Institute, named Louis Khan. I am interested to know more about Khan as the author has quoted him several times in the text.
"When one knows what to do, there is only a little time one needs for doing it. It is only when one does not know what to do that it takes so much time. And to know what to do is the secret of all.-Louis Kahn"
It is written in the plain, bland language. It can be easily read in a few hours. The book has introduced me to the architect of the Salk Institute, named Louis Khan. I am interested to know more about Khan as the author has quoted him several times in the text.
"When one knows what to do, there is only a little time one needs for doing it. It is only when one does not know what to do that it takes so much time. And to know what to do is the secret of all.-Louis Kahn"
September 21, 2023
Discusses about the conflicting thoughts going inside the mind of an ambitious, career-oriented , loving mother. She finds it hard to choose between career and motherhood when faced with a situation which demanded her to choose among them.
March 23, 2010
I received a free copy of this book through the goodreads first reads giveaways. I enjoyed this book a lot. It was a look at a woman who was struggling to find her identity as she debated between staying home with her children or returning to the work field. The book hit on a lot of themes that I think are common among women. Competition, insecurities, and the assumption that someone else always has it better without knowing their full reality. The book does an excellent job of speaking to the concerns and the questions that many women face when attempting to juggle and balance motherhood, career and education, and ones partner.
I appreciated the book for addressing this topic and theme and it was an enjoyable, quick, easy read. Although it was a little hard to connect with the character in the beginning of the novel.
I appreciated the book for addressing this topic and theme and it was an enjoyable, quick, easy read. Although it was a little hard to connect with the character in the beginning of the novel.
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May 22, 2011bhuben das
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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September 7, 2012I felt like I was reading my own life a year ago!
April 11, 2016
A first person narrative of what any woman goes/can go through in life, the little insecurities, the fancies and how she takes a decision for the leap ahead.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews