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Kate Kane, Paranormal Investigator #1
Iron & Velvet
MP3 CD Format I like my women like I like my more than is good for me.
Name's Kane, Kate Kane. I'm a paranormal private investigator, which is like a normal private investigator except—and stop me if you're having trouble following this—more paranormal. This business comes with a few basic don't start drinking before noon, don't get your partner killed, don't sleep with the woman who killed him.
Last year I broke all of them.
The only rule I didn't break was the one that said don't work for vampires. But then a dead werewolf showed up outside the Soho shag palace of Julian Saint-Germain—a bloodsucking flibbertigibbet who's spent the last eight centuries presiding over an ever-growing empire of booze, sex, and hemoglobin.
I shouldn't have taken the job. The last thing I needed was to get caught in a supernatural smackdown between a werewolf pack and a vampire prince. Even if the vampire prince was dangerously my type. But what can I say? I was broke, I'm a sucker for a pretty face and I gave up on making good decisions a long time ago.
Contains mature themes.
Name's Kane, Kate Kane. I'm a paranormal private investigator, which is like a normal private investigator except—and stop me if you're having trouble following this—more paranormal. This business comes with a few basic don't start drinking before noon, don't get your partner killed, don't sleep with the woman who killed him.
Last year I broke all of them.
The only rule I didn't break was the one that said don't work for vampires. But then a dead werewolf showed up outside the Soho shag palace of Julian Saint-Germain—a bloodsucking flibbertigibbet who's spent the last eight centuries presiding over an ever-growing empire of booze, sex, and hemoglobin.
I shouldn't have taken the job. The last thing I needed was to get caught in a supernatural smackdown between a werewolf pack and a vampire prince. Even if the vampire prince was dangerously my type. But what can I say? I was broke, I'm a sucker for a pretty face and I gave up on making good decisions a long time ago.
Contains mature themes.
1 pages, Audio CD
First published December 14, 2013
230 people are currently reading
5250 people want to read
About the author
Alexis Hall
59 books15k followersOne of those intricate British queers.
Please note: I don’t read / reply to DMs. If you would like to get in touch, the best way is via email which you can find in the contact section on my website <3
Please note: I don’t read / reply to DMs. If you would like to get in touch, the best way is via email which you can find in the contact section on my website <3
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June 30, 2014
RANT reviews, I wrote 389 reviews so far and can actually count the ranty ones on one hand... Were lesbians the problem here?
Contrary to those who managed to more or less enjoy this book upon their 2nd or 3rd attempt, at first I figured it best to simply DNF it. After partaking in the hype for this highly anticipated F/F story with its gorgeous cover, I can only feel sad about this. I was so excited that my non F/F reading friends were willing to make an exception for Iron & Velvet. So what made me push through? Let’s just say that I couldn’t shake off the eerie sensation of déjà vu and curiously chased the feeling... And when a book is officially marketed as a parody it’s great fun to point out all the spoofy elements that were taken from other people’s work. However, when there’s no mention of that, you’ll suddenly find yourself in the murky waters of reckless “borrowing”. Perhaps there are readers who just shrug, but it makes ME a tad uncomfortable as a reader and, quite frankly, cheated on.
What is actually original content and worthy of praise here and what is “recycled and reproduced”?
Do you love Ilona Andrews Magic Bites series? I suppose you’re in for a treat then.
* The heroine’s personality, the style and vibe of Iron & Velvet appear to be taken straight from Magic Bites. And look at this, the heroines even share a name: Kate. Some would call it a homage.
* Then there’s Kate’s ex-lover: the vamp Patrick, whom she met in biology class. Patrick is creepily possessive and secretly watches her sleep. You really need another hint? He also sparkles.
* That doesn’t stop Kate, who is often referred to as ‘Miss Kane’, from doing business with a beautiful and deadly sex demon with "the promise of sex rolling of him". Kate’s lucky Karen Marie Moning’s Jericho Barrons didn’t pop up in Iron & Velvet as well. The big, bad JZB would have tattooed Miss Kane like he did with his Miss Lane!
* Other reviewers expressed their delight with the highly original ‘rat people’ in Iron & Velvet. I’m slightly less impressed, but perhaps this is because I had the pleasure of meeting them before, in Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere.
* I thought it was funny when Kate talked herself into places by pretending to be from Horse & Hound Magazine. Until I realized that I’d heard the exact same joke somewhere else: when Hugh Grant uttered it in Notting Hill.
* So I won’t mention the many occasions on which I was reminded of Rowling and Tolkien’s work. Sigh, fair enough. One example: the false lights that draw Kate from the trail in the werewolf infested woods and into danger. Didn’t this gurl learn anything from Bilbo Baggins?
* I highlighted a bunch of other suspicious moments I have theories about, but it would remind me too much of my thesis days to get into each and every one of them. I think the general idea is clear though.
And you know what makes me curious? The fact that I’m not even a PNR and urban fantasy fanatic and therefore probably only scratched the surface. It’s almost like a cool puzzle, you guys! Anyone knows where Elise, the friendly golem, is taken from? She behaves exactly like Star Trek’s Data, but I realize that he’s a robot and not a Frankensteinesque creature. And I wonder who invented those Ninja zombie nuns first?
Isn’t that so sad? That every little piece of creativity in this book should make you second guess where it’s from?
Now if Iron & Velvet would be extraordinarily fabulous otherwise, there’s a tiny possibility that I might not even have minded all these “borrowed” ideas that much. Unfortunately, this book is a hot mess if I ever saw one. It seems to consist of random chunks of text, in which one-dimensional character Kate (but she does have violet colored eyes!) runs around like a beheaded chicken to solve some murder. Along the way, she meets a dizzying amount of pointless characters with impossible-to-remember funky names (except maybe for Nimue, but then again, you’ll usually find her in the company of Arthur & Merlin) who you mostly won’t come across again. So this is me saying to not bother with mnemonics or lists (or ask for mine).
And this isn’t even a matter of high expectations. High expectations are when someone promises you hot XXX RATED GIRL ON GIRL action with scarcely clad, extremely bendable, panting chicks...and you’re like SIGN ME UP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!! And they do and you get THIS and it’s somewhat like what you were promised only....you were expecting something else entirely? 0_o
With Iron & Velvet, you’re not even getting THAT....
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wouldn’t recommend reading this for the F/F factor either. Because not only is there nothing about the lesbian characters that ignites my gaydar, there is also ZERO chemistry between Kate and her lez vamp. The awfully unsexy sexy times are either consequently Vajayjay-blocked by unexpected visitors or end in a sudden tangle of obscure and overwrought metaphors. I didn’t highlight the eye roll-inducing moments for nothing, so here’s an example of a love scene gone metaphor:
Lesbian sex: you’re doing it wrong....
For me, this seems a tell-tale sign of a starting writer, who is trying too hard to come across as witty and talented. There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes, but when that writer doesn't have an editor who demands focus on his readers and kills off a bunch of inappropriate darlings, he's in trouble. On a related note: the publisher of Iron & Velvet should at least take part of the blame. I’ve read freefic that’s better edited than this..could be the ARC..could not be the ARC, your risk...
Speaking of keeping readers in mind: the repetitive flaunting of cleverness didn’t amuse. For example: there really is a character in this book who converses solely in Middle English. Ha-ha...too bad, so sad for those readers who haven’t studied old and Middle English. They will simply have to momentarily drop out of the story! You know what would’ve been really clever? To let the readability of a book prevail over smug elitism.
And almost last but not least: why your heroine does not need violet eyes .
Finally, the endearment "sweeting" is used 34 times in this book. I needed a punching bag after the 9th &%#@&* time.
I’m not usually this straightforward, but if I can spare my friends I will: I’d wholeheartedly recommend skipping this book.
Contrary to those who managed to more or less enjoy this book upon their 2nd or 3rd attempt, at first I figured it best to simply DNF it. After partaking in the hype for this highly anticipated F/F story with its gorgeous cover, I can only feel sad about this. I was so excited that my non F/F reading friends were willing to make an exception for Iron & Velvet. So what made me push through? Let’s just say that I couldn’t shake off the eerie sensation of déjà vu and curiously chased the feeling... And when a book is officially marketed as a parody it’s great fun to point out all the spoofy elements that were taken from other people’s work. However, when there’s no mention of that, you’ll suddenly find yourself in the murky waters of reckless “borrowing”. Perhaps there are readers who just shrug, but it makes ME a tad uncomfortable as a reader and, quite frankly, cheated on.
What is actually original content and worthy of praise here and what is “recycled and reproduced”?
Do you love Ilona Andrews Magic Bites series? I suppose you’re in for a treat then.
* The heroine’s personality, the style and vibe of Iron & Velvet appear to be taken straight from Magic Bites. And look at this, the heroines even share a name: Kate. Some would call it a homage.
* Then there’s Kate’s ex-lover: the vamp Patrick, whom she met in biology class. Patrick is creepily possessive and secretly watches her sleep. You really need another hint? He also sparkles.
* That doesn’t stop Kate, who is often referred to as ‘Miss Kane’, from doing business with a beautiful and deadly sex demon with "the promise of sex rolling of him". Kate’s lucky Karen Marie Moning’s Jericho Barrons didn’t pop up in Iron & Velvet as well. The big, bad JZB would have tattooed Miss Kane like he did with his Miss Lane!
* Other reviewers expressed their delight with the highly original ‘rat people’ in Iron & Velvet. I’m slightly less impressed, but perhaps this is because I had the pleasure of meeting them before, in Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere.
* I thought it was funny when Kate talked herself into places by pretending to be from Horse & Hound Magazine. Until I realized that I’d heard the exact same joke somewhere else: when Hugh Grant uttered it in Notting Hill.
* So I won’t mention the many occasions on which I was reminded of Rowling and Tolkien’s work. Sigh, fair enough. One example: the false lights that draw Kate from the trail in the werewolf infested woods and into danger. Didn’t this gurl learn anything from Bilbo Baggins?
* I highlighted a bunch of other suspicious moments I have theories about, but it would remind me too much of my thesis days to get into each and every one of them. I think the general idea is clear though.
And you know what makes me curious? The fact that I’m not even a PNR and urban fantasy fanatic and therefore probably only scratched the surface. It’s almost like a cool puzzle, you guys! Anyone knows where Elise, the friendly golem, is taken from? She behaves exactly like Star Trek’s Data, but I realize that he’s a robot and not a Frankensteinesque creature. And I wonder who invented those Ninja zombie nuns first?
Isn’t that so sad? That every little piece of creativity in this book should make you second guess where it’s from?
Now if Iron & Velvet would be extraordinarily fabulous otherwise, there’s a tiny possibility that I might not even have minded all these “borrowed” ideas that much. Unfortunately, this book is a hot mess if I ever saw one. It seems to consist of random chunks of text, in which one-dimensional character Kate (but she does have violet colored eyes!) runs around like a beheaded chicken to solve some murder. Along the way, she meets a dizzying amount of pointless characters with impossible-to-remember funky names (except maybe for Nimue, but then again, you’ll usually find her in the company of Arthur & Merlin) who you mostly won’t come across again. So this is me saying to not bother with mnemonics or lists (or ask for mine).
And this isn’t even a matter of high expectations. High expectations are when someone promises you hot XXX RATED GIRL ON GIRL action with scarcely clad, extremely bendable, panting chicks...and you’re like SIGN ME UP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!! And they do and you get THIS and it’s somewhat like what you were promised only....you were expecting something else entirely? 0_o
With Iron & Velvet, you’re not even getting THAT....
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wouldn’t recommend reading this for the F/F factor either. Because not only is there nothing about the lesbian characters that ignites my gaydar, there is also ZERO chemistry between Kate and her lez vamp. The awfully unsexy sexy times are either consequently Vajayjay-blocked by unexpected visitors or end in a sudden tangle of obscure and overwrought metaphors. I didn’t highlight the eye roll-inducing moments for nothing, so here’s an example of a love scene gone metaphor:
“Her eyes were as endless and shifting as the sea, the blue as rich as lapis lazuli. Between my fingers, her hair was cool as silk and soft as feathers. Her face was fascinating, as though she was a puzzle I couldn’t quite solve. Time’s cryptic crossword, ageless and ancient, fragile and eternal..(...)She sparkled in my mouth like champagne. My kisses landed on her skin as vivid as butterflies. The idle play of her fingertips glittered over me like dew across a spider’s web.”
Lesbian sex: you’re doing it wrong....
For me, this seems a tell-tale sign of a starting writer, who is trying too hard to come across as witty and talented. There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes, but when that writer doesn't have an editor who demands focus on his readers and kills off a bunch of inappropriate darlings, he's in trouble. On a related note: the publisher of Iron & Velvet should at least take part of the blame. I’ve read freefic that’s better edited than this..could be the ARC..could not be the ARC, your risk...
Speaking of keeping readers in mind: the repetitive flaunting of cleverness didn’t amuse. For example: there really is a character in this book who converses solely in Middle English. Ha-ha...too bad, so sad for those readers who haven’t studied old and Middle English. They will simply have to momentarily drop out of the story! You know what would’ve been really clever? To let the readability of a book prevail over smug elitism.
And almost last but not least: why your heroine does not need violet eyes .
Finally, the endearment "sweeting" is used 34 times in this book. I needed a punching bag after the 9th &%#@&* time.
I’m not usually this straightforward, but if I can spare my friends I will: I’d wholeheartedly recommend skipping this book.
October 6, 2019
4.50 Stars. I'm a big fan of this series. I have read versions of this book a total of 3 or 4 times now. I love reading this series in October since it's one of my favorite lesfic paranormal series. Alexis Hall, recently released this series again so I thought it was the perfect time for another re-read. He mentioned some light editing and cleaning up/changing some lines. I'm not sure if it is my imagination but the book seemed a little more current. I remember Kate using her phone sparingly so things felt more modern this time around. It's a guess but I feel like that was a change. Besides that, which only added to the story, this felt like the book I know and love. Kate is a favorite character of mine and I have to hope that re-publishing this series could mean that Hall is writing a book 3. I won't get my hopes up but I would love it.
Read on for my original review:
I read this book a few years ago and decided to give it a re-read to see if I still loved it. I'm happy to say, this book really held up for me, and it's as good as I remembered. If you are looking for a good lesfic paranormal story, that takes place in England, this book is for you. I would say this book reminds me a bit of the very early Anita Blake books, with a little bit of J. M. Redmann's Mickey Knight thrown in.
Kate Kane, is a hard nose private investigator. She drinks too much, has a sarcastic mouth on her, and gets in too many fights. She is absolutely flawed, but very likeable anyway. She does try to do the right thing, and wants to be loyal to the people she cares about, but it's not always easy for her.
Kate, is asked by the very sexy and alluring Vampire Prince (not sure why she is not called a Princess, but whatever) to investigate a murder at her club. The murdered victim is a Werewolf, and since weres and vamps do not always get along, Kate must find the killer before a war breaks out among the supernaturals.
If you are a paranormal fan, this book has a bit for everyone. Vampires, Weres, Mages and Fae, just about all the major sups are in play. It is interesting how the different supernaturals act in London, and the book has a decent mystery and plenty of excitement.
I would not say this book really has romance. Kate is not the most romantic kind of character. But she does have a love interest. I really enjoy the pairing and like how they interact and tease each other. They can be pretty hot together too.
As I said before, this is a re-read for me, which I don't do often. I am looking forward to re-reading book 2, also. I know Alexis Hall mostly writes M/M romance. But he really does lesfic paranormal well, and I really wish he would come out with more Kate Kane books.
Read on for my original review:
I read this book a few years ago and decided to give it a re-read to see if I still loved it. I'm happy to say, this book really held up for me, and it's as good as I remembered. If you are looking for a good lesfic paranormal story, that takes place in England, this book is for you. I would say this book reminds me a bit of the very early Anita Blake books, with a little bit of J. M. Redmann's Mickey Knight thrown in.
Kate Kane, is a hard nose private investigator. She drinks too much, has a sarcastic mouth on her, and gets in too many fights. She is absolutely flawed, but very likeable anyway. She does try to do the right thing, and wants to be loyal to the people she cares about, but it's not always easy for her.
Kate, is asked by the very sexy and alluring Vampire Prince (not sure why she is not called a Princess, but whatever) to investigate a murder at her club. The murdered victim is a Werewolf, and since weres and vamps do not always get along, Kate must find the killer before a war breaks out among the supernaturals.
If you are a paranormal fan, this book has a bit for everyone. Vampires, Weres, Mages and Fae, just about all the major sups are in play. It is interesting how the different supernaturals act in London, and the book has a decent mystery and plenty of excitement.
I would not say this book really has romance. Kate is not the most romantic kind of character. But she does have a love interest. I really enjoy the pairing and like how they interact and tease each other. They can be pretty hot together too.
As I said before, this is a re-read for me, which I don't do often. I am looking forward to re-reading book 2, also. I know Alexis Hall mostly writes M/M romance. But he really does lesfic paranormal well, and I really wish he would come out with more Kate Kane books.
June 30, 2014
never been so turned-on by sapphic shenanigans in my life.
wildly entertaining, relentlessly kinetic, and riotously funny.
all the adverbs. this book deserves all the adverbs in the world.
i think the intentional repetition was mostly a mistake—eight hundred year old vampire, here lies Kate Kane, wine and rose petals—and why our heroine left an apparently indestructible sexbot behind to mind the car instead of utilizing her in the Finerr Batturr is beyond me—but aside from those quibbles, I haven't had this much fun with a paranormal private investigator in ages.
hilarious! action-packed! and kinda gross! with bonus lesbosexorz!
what more could a smutmonkey like me ask for?
besides a sequel, I mean.
obviously.
wildly entertaining, relentlessly kinetic, and riotously funny.
all the adverbs. this book deserves all the adverbs in the world.
i think the intentional repetition was mostly a mistake—eight hundred year old vampire, here lies Kate Kane, wine and rose petals—and why our heroine left an apparently indestructible sexbot behind to mind the car instead of utilizing her in the Finerr Batturr is beyond me—but aside from those quibbles, I haven't had this much fun with a paranormal private investigator in ages.
hilarious! action-packed! and kinda gross! with bonus lesbosexorz!
what more could a smutmonkey like me ask for?
besides a sequel, I mean.
obviously.
October 25, 2013
This was fun. Actual fun, with an author taking joy in the writing, exuberant plotting, shameless and enjoyable use of genre tropes and some lovely bits of invention. I stopped reading PNR and most urban fantasy ages ago because I was so fed up with the same old same old. This book takes the same old, and uses it unapologetically, but makes it feel fresh again.
- It's hilarious. I was laughing out loud at several points. Yes, you could use the word 'sassy', but it's actually funny with it, which most sassy is not.
- Julian's voice is fantastic, playing the fool with language in a glorious way, and nicely set against Kate's, whose spoken vocabulary mostly consists of 'fuck'.
- Some really lovely bits of creepy invention. The zombie knights and the rat gestalt, especially.
- The King of the Court of Love speaks Middle English, with thorns. I'm so happy.
- The tropey 'handsome vampire policeman ex who still adores the heroine and is a bastard but for her own good' is what those men are in real life: a repellent psychotic stalker. THANK YOU.
- The heroine drinks, swears, kicks ass, shags without any personal purity issues, and at no point goes shopping or thinks about shoes. I am identifying. Except with the ass-kicking.
- This feels like mainstream writing. It's not a 'lesbian romance', it's an urban fantasy in which the sexuality of the characters directs who they sleep with, not the entire tone/plot/theme of the book.
It's much more a fantasy than a romance, and the writing won't be to everyone's taste, but I wallowed in it.
- It's hilarious. I was laughing out loud at several points. Yes, you could use the word 'sassy', but it's actually funny with it, which most sassy is not.
- Julian's voice is fantastic, playing the fool with language in a glorious way, and nicely set against Kate's, whose spoken vocabulary mostly consists of 'fuck'.
- Some really lovely bits of creepy invention. The zombie knights and the rat gestalt, especially.
- The King of the Court of Love speaks Middle English, with thorns. I'm so happy.
- The tropey 'handsome vampire policeman ex who still adores the heroine and is a bastard but for her own good' is what those men are in real life: a repellent psychotic stalker. THANK YOU.
- The heroine drinks, swears, kicks ass, shags without any personal purity issues, and at no point goes shopping or thinks about shoes. I am identifying. Except with the ass-kicking.
- This feels like mainstream writing. It's not a 'lesbian romance', it's an urban fantasy in which the sexuality of the characters directs who they sleep with, not the entire tone/plot/theme of the book.
It's much more a fantasy than a romance, and the writing won't be to everyone's taste, but I wallowed in it.
March 21, 2016
**1.5 stars**
I had a lot of issues with this book, which bums me out because I was actually excited to try a F/F. I'll try to list them all out for you guys but, honestly, this will probably be a quicky review because this book didn't inspire much emotion in me.
1) It was boring. I'm sorry but it was. I had to push myself to read it and I put it down many times and forced myself to pick it up again. I found the long list of characters to be tedious and I couldn't get engaged with the story.
2) It was confusing. This book had the problem that some paranormals had with info dump. It was info dump central, the never-ending cast of character was really hard to keep straight. They were thrown in all at once and kind of haphazardly. I had a very difficult time remembering who was who and how they factored into everything.
3) Kate loved by everyone and I have no idea why. Seriously, why? Why did everyone want her and why did they even employ her in the first place? She didn't seem like she was a particularly good investigator, and I had no idea why all of these powerful people kept throwing themselves at her.
4) The paranormal aspect. I happen to love paranormals and I am picky about them because I read a lot of them. In this instance, the world-building was not well done, in my opinion. There was too much going on and not enough was explained in an organic way. I didn't like the way the cast of characters came together- it was all very quick and not to my taste.
5) The sexy-times. They weren't sexy. They were often interrupted or felt detached. I would have loved to read some down and dirty lesbian sex-scenes but I really didn't get that.
Now, this book is not all bad. I liked when the author's sense of humor shown through and it reminded me a bit of the snark and bite that was present in Glitterland. I liked how Kate was flawed and had vices like any other person. However, I think part of the issue is the vehicle of this book. I think Alexis Hall should stay away from paranormal for a while. I would read another F/F by him but not another paranormal.
**Copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review**
I had a lot of issues with this book, which bums me out because I was actually excited to try a F/F. I'll try to list them all out for you guys but, honestly, this will probably be a quicky review because this book didn't inspire much emotion in me.
1) It was boring. I'm sorry but it was. I had to push myself to read it and I put it down many times and forced myself to pick it up again. I found the long list of characters to be tedious and I couldn't get engaged with the story.
2) It was confusing. This book had the problem that some paranormals had with info dump. It was info dump central, the never-ending cast of character was really hard to keep straight. They were thrown in all at once and kind of haphazardly. I had a very difficult time remembering who was who and how they factored into everything.
3) Kate loved by everyone and I have no idea why. Seriously, why? Why did everyone want her and why did they even employ her in the first place? She didn't seem like she was a particularly good investigator, and I had no idea why all of these powerful people kept throwing themselves at her.
4) The paranormal aspect. I happen to love paranormals and I am picky about them because I read a lot of them. In this instance, the world-building was not well done, in my opinion. There was too much going on and not enough was explained in an organic way. I didn't like the way the cast of characters came together- it was all very quick and not to my taste.
5) The sexy-times. They weren't sexy. They were often interrupted or felt detached. I would have loved to read some down and dirty lesbian sex-scenes but I really didn't get that.
Now, this book is not all bad. I liked when the author's sense of humor shown through and it reminded me a bit of the snark and bite that was present in Glitterland. I liked how Kate was flawed and had vices like any other person. However, I think part of the issue is the vehicle of this book. I think Alexis Hall should stay away from paranormal for a while. I would read another F/F by him but not another paranormal.
**Copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review**
September 8, 2016
So…I should probably preface this review by saying that the author is a friend. And I know there are sometimes questions around people reviewing works of friends in an unbiased light. Does knowing the author make me like the book more? I don’t know. I think it makes me understand it better as I have a way to ask him questions directly when I need to. But, I’ll say that I believe my review is fair and honest...from my perspective.
I received the ARC of this book months ago. And as many other reviewers started reading it, I just…couldn’t open it up. I was 1) hesitant because I don’t love paranormal and 2) I, personally, don’t have a lot of experience with or desire for F/F reading in my life. So…I waited. And reviews went up. Not all of them positive. I didn’t read them all…but I did make note of some of the comments about pronoun confusion and the masculinization of the female characters. I read the struggles of some readers I really respect with the numerous characters and the world-building…and all the shit…literal shit (and to some, literary shit). So…I waited some more.
And while I waited, I asked the author about some of these things and got some answers that helped fortify me for when I’d begin to read. (Also, if you want help sorting everyone out, he’s posted a cheat-sheet of sorts: http://www.quicunquevult.com/writing/...)
And finally, this past weekend, I felt especially brave, and I felt in the mood, so I opened it and gave it a go…
In a nutshell, is it my favorite book of the year? No, Hall’s “Glitterland” is. And this is not Glitterland…he’ll be the first one to tell you this. It’s nothing like it. Don’t expect it. But, it’s the same author and I still had a sense of him and his style in I&V. The humor, the play on words, the interesting cadence and flow of how things are described, and the none-of-them-are-perfect characters.
Of all the characters, Kate, the main lead, is the one I probably liked least…and I actually related to her a lot. Ha! She is an anti-heroine. She drinks too much. She smokes too much. She hooks up too much. She hates on herself sometimes. She complains a little too much in her head. But she’s unapologetic...and I like that. What bothered me was the Everyone-Loves-Jory-syndrome (nod to Mary Calmes’ character Jory). Everyone in this book loves Kate. They all want her. Every woman and man wants to bed her. THAT got old.
In any case, I think the best part of the book is the world-building and the side characters. I want spin off books about the vampires and the werewolves, the demons and faeries, the mortals and the rest. And liked the interactions between Kate, and Julian, and Nimue, and Tara, and Ash, and Elise, and, and, and…(yes, there are a LOT of characters!) And the action and mystery bits between them all were really good...
It got a little slow and bogged down a bit at times and in all honesty, I didn’t love the smexy stuff…to each her own, right?...
But, for the most part, this book is an interesting start to a series with some LOL moments, some vomit-inducing scenes that I wish I could forget, a lot of characters I’d like to get to know better, a thrill-ride that I hope continues, and an MC who I’m not quite sold on yet, but I’m willing to read more. Also…it’s very British. Which makes the wanna-be-Brit in me happy.
IF you like PNR
IF you like British humor
IF you like strong female anti-heroines
IF you’re ok w/ F/F smexy
…I think you should give it a go.
December 13, 2016
Overall chance of getting murdered: low.
Overall chance of miserable, soul-destroying break-up: moderate.
Overall chance of lots of red-hot monkey sex: high to extreme.
Overall chance of boredom: zero.
I was liking those odds.
Yeah, I was liking those odds, too, because foremost Iron & Velvet is highly entertaining and funny, with a nice romance on the side, and lots of serious arse-kicking as the main dish.
Part of the blurb sums it up nicely: Now half the monsters in London are at each other's throats, and the other half are trying to get in my pants. The Witch Queen will protect her own, the wolves are out for vengeance, and the vampires are out for, y'know, blood.
Let the fun begin.
And fun it was. I laughed a lot, I smiled even more, because Kate is just a loveable, smart and quirky protagonist. Alexis creates a world with lots of paranormal creatures, and there is just so much to discover. Delightful! It’s a large world full of secrets and magic. There is never a dull moment, and we’ve got lots of interesting and captivating secondary characters, too.
Meet some of the characters:
There's Kate, of course, our heroine who's telling the story in a snarky, smart, and lovable way.
She's also not your usual politically correct female, because she drinks, smokes, lives in a mess, has lot's of sex—even the casual kind, gasp—and plainly just lives as she pleases. And can I just say how absolutely fantastic and awesome this is? Because this so is awesome! Gimme mooooaaar!
She's also a half-blood Faery Princess, not getting along with her dark, bloodthirsty mother at all, or well, not acknowledging her at all is more like it. By the way, I think Faeries are evil and creepy and not to forget, narcissistic as fuck. *shudders*
It's good Kate isn't squicked out easily because wow, this is not for the faint-hearted. So much grossly horror here.
His mouth opened, and he vomited his insides all over my face, before falling forwards on top of me.
Oh, and... there is this kinda recurring joke about how she's gonna die... It's really not important for the review or anything, but I just love them and here are my favourite ones:
Here lies Kate Kane. Killed in a foreplay accident. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed.
Here lies Kate Kane. Driven into a wall by a statue without a license. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed.
Now for Kate's love interest:
Yes, I was a faery-blooded, thirty something PI with trust issues and a drinking problem, and she was a psychotic undead nun with a pudding fixation, but I really thought we were in for a chance.
I think Julian, our 800 year old Vampire Prince, and pudding loving ninja nun, is just soooo cute. And pretty. And sexy. And did I say cute?
"You didn't invite me here to practice cheap pickup lines." She grinned. "No, but I'm willing to be flexible if you are."
Oh boy, did I love the banter between them. The banter with everyone, to be precise. There's so much of it, but without being over the top or getting on your nerves. I was jus in a constant state of grinning.
I'm really glad Kate didn't listen to her concerned, overbearing, patronising ex:
"And you should stay away from Julian Saint-Germain," he added. "She is dangerous."
"Yeah, yeah."
"I mean it, Katharine. You cannot begin to imagine the acts she has committed or the secrets she holds."
"Now you're just trying to turn me on."
Though it’s not the main focus in the book, the romance complements the action and suspense plot very well. As opposed to other books in this genre, we don’t get a mystical insta-love or insta-lust story. There are just two girls sharing a mutual attraction and tenderly starting a relationship. As simple as this sounds, this was especially what I liked about Kate’s and Julian’s relationship. I’m looking forward to see how they will do in the next books.
The sex was fun, too, also passionate and I loved the quiet romantic moments after. Julian's bedtime stories about her past, the way she tells them, how Kate asks about her, was just awwww inducing.
After Kate and Julian, my next favourite characters are Ashriel, the celibate demon incubus—Kate and Ashriel have the best conversations ever—and Elise:
"I appear to be impervious to physical harm. I have no need to eat, sleep, or breathe, and I can bring a man to orgasm within 30 seconds. [...] I am a statue, Miss Kane, carved from stone and animated with stolen fire."
There's also our bad-ass alpha werwolf lingerie model, Tara, and some mysterious super powerful witch chicks. And not to forget the aforementioned Patrick, the vamp ex... Gosh, I don't know how Kate can stand him. I want to punch him in the face the whole time.
Oh and let me just tell you some cryptic bullshit about the plot:
"Big bad faery shit lord killed your boyfriend and captured your vampire granny. A bunch of us are getting together to fuck it up. Do you want in?"
"Flats or heels?"
Yes, that would have been my answer exactly...
I absolutely adore that, for those who are interested, there is a lot of background info on Alexis Hall's website, too. There’s even an awesome playlist. My favourite song is the second, by the way, which reminds me a lot of Julian.
Gosh, I love things like this :-D
So you realised probably how much I loved this book. That's because 'tis amazing!
In the end all I can say is, if you’re in the mood for some paranormal action fun, you’ve found your book. I really recommend it. You’ll find everything you need here.
***
My review for Shadow & Dreams
October 17, 2013
So upon reading my second book by this author, I noticed similar, if not exactly, the same likes and dislikes I had with his first book, Glitterland. For me, this started poorly, so poorly that I initially did not finish it. And, once again, like with Glitterland, I gave myself a break and restarted it and carried on to finish. The second half? Sweet whisky Jesus, where did this come from? Why wasn’t the rest of the book more like this? I can’t figure out why in both instances with this author the books have started out so meh, so frustrating, and then when a big event happens in the middle of the book, things all start going up-hill. It leads to some really happy moments towards the end, but overall a disappointing reading experience.
Let me start off by saying that I don’t feel the characters in this were developed. And that goes for all of them. There are also way, way too many characters that we are told what they are or who their names are with nothing to grab onto to remember. I don’t want to have to draw a flowchart to keep up with the narrative. Mages, vampires, werewolves, fairies, monsters and the like felt as if they were thrown in a felt bag, tossed around, and dumped out onto the page at random. At times I had to wonder if I was watching every single episode of True Blood mashed into a metaphorical TV miniseries. Those elements could have been awesome and I wanted them to be awesome, but I didn’t feel it became interesting or clear until after the halfway mark.
I think the language got in the way of the story as well. Fans of Glitterland might not have that issue, but in my opinion that was the superior book. The similes etc. all became grating and the first half of the book I literally winced at the humor. It felt as if the author was trying way too hard, and as a result, I was bored senseless. After the halfway mark, though, the experience I had with the author’s previous book happened. The writing seemed to switch, the flow felt natural, and both the characters and the plot became likeable and amusing. I don’t know why this seems to keep happening, but it’s definitely a pattern I’m noticing, thus far.
Then there is the story of Kate’s cases and all of the craziness she encounters. Iron & Velvet started off slow, info-dumpy, and I just found the constant intrusions by mythical creatures annoying, but then all of a sudden at the funeral everything went 180 degrees. The action was fast-paced, thrilling, scary, and absolutely hilarious at times. Aspects of the plot and the history between characters started making sense, you started to get more personality from the characters, rather than just stand-ins. The horse scene was fantastic!! The fight between current lover and ex showed two badass females, while our protagonist made quick, witty remarks.
And then there is Kate. At first, I couldn’t stand her, but by the end, she grew on me. She’s tough, smart, bitingly sarcastic, and her inner dialogue amused the crap out of me. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Julian….meh….meh….yawn. I know only superficial things about her, and I wished I had gotten a fully developed character. Also those sex scenes weren’t hot at all. I did feel they felt natural, though. Natural and awkward and nice, even, but not steamy at all. I wouldn’t really classify this as a romance, or even having romantic aspects. Sure there is a ‘relationship’, but it feels like an afterthought, and when it feels like that, I’d rather it just not be there at all, or minimized even further.
So at the end I had to think what I wanted to review this and how I felt overall. That second half was great, and I kept wanting to rate this higher because of how damn funny it all ended, and the way it flowed and held my attention. But then I had to think about the characters and how I felt about them. And the truth is I don’t actually care about them. If any of them had died or not worked out, I would have been A-OK and closed the book with the exact same feelings. So Kate is pretty awesome, the dialogue absolutely shines, the language is descriptive and beautiful in many instances, and the side characters made me laugh A LOT. But as a package, it was a bit lukewarm, so I’ll say I just ‘like’ this...sort of.
Let me start off by saying that I don’t feel the characters in this were developed. And that goes for all of them. There are also way, way too many characters that we are told what they are or who their names are with nothing to grab onto to remember. I don’t want to have to draw a flowchart to keep up with the narrative. Mages, vampires, werewolves, fairies, monsters and the like felt as if they were thrown in a felt bag, tossed around, and dumped out onto the page at random. At times I had to wonder if I was watching every single episode of True Blood mashed into a metaphorical TV miniseries. Those elements could have been awesome and I wanted them to be awesome, but I didn’t feel it became interesting or clear until after the halfway mark.
I think the language got in the way of the story as well. Fans of Glitterland might not have that issue, but in my opinion that was the superior book. The similes etc. all became grating and the first half of the book I literally winced at the humor. It felt as if the author was trying way too hard, and as a result, I was bored senseless. After the halfway mark, though, the experience I had with the author’s previous book happened. The writing seemed to switch, the flow felt natural, and both the characters and the plot became likeable and amusing. I don’t know why this seems to keep happening, but it’s definitely a pattern I’m noticing, thus far.
Then there is the story of Kate’s cases and all of the craziness she encounters. Iron & Velvet started off slow, info-dumpy, and I just found the constant intrusions by mythical creatures annoying, but then all of a sudden at the funeral everything went 180 degrees. The action was fast-paced, thrilling, scary, and absolutely hilarious at times. Aspects of the plot and the history between characters started making sense, you started to get more personality from the characters, rather than just stand-ins. The horse scene was fantastic!! The fight between current lover and ex showed two badass females, while our protagonist made quick, witty remarks.
And then there is Kate. At first, I couldn’t stand her, but by the end, she grew on me. She’s tough, smart, bitingly sarcastic, and her inner dialogue amused the crap out of me. I laughed and laughed and laughed. Julian….meh….meh….yawn. I know only superficial things about her, and I wished I had gotten a fully developed character. Also those sex scenes weren’t hot at all. I did feel they felt natural, though. Natural and awkward and nice, even, but not steamy at all. I wouldn’t really classify this as a romance, or even having romantic aspects. Sure there is a ‘relationship’, but it feels like an afterthought, and when it feels like that, I’d rather it just not be there at all, or minimized even further.
So at the end I had to think what I wanted to review this and how I felt overall. That second half was great, and I kept wanting to rate this higher because of how damn funny it all ended, and the way it flowed and held my attention. But then I had to think about the characters and how I felt about them. And the truth is I don’t actually care about them. If any of them had died or not worked out, I would have been A-OK and closed the book with the exact same feelings. So Kate is pretty awesome, the dialogue absolutely shines, the language is descriptive and beautiful in many instances, and the side characters made me laugh A LOT. But as a package, it was a bit lukewarm, so I’ll say I just ‘like’ this...sort of.
December 17, 2013
2.5 stars
Kate lives in a dangerous world populated by lots of superbeings: vamps, weres, demons, mages, faeries...
She is a supa herself, a faerie with some skillz of her own. One of them being gorgeous, as few in this world seem able to resist her charms. Oh, and she’s a huntress with a nose for the scent which helps her PI work. Kate’s been hired to investigate the dead bodies piling up in London.
The premise is interesting-- a lesbian private dick ( “I’m cynical, not a complete dick” ) who battles baddies. Kate starts off engagingly enough. She’s full of ’tude, in fact, she’s a snarkfest of badass with a slut rep to boot. Colorful. A heavy drinker ( “I’ve got a killer on the loose, a war on the horizon, and a scotch on the rocks. It’s going to be an interesting day.” ) with a penchant for girls, she’s been known to toss a few boys between the sheets, too. Vamps, weres, faeries… it doesn’t matter to Kate. She’s an equal opportunity huntress… I like her:
“It always starts with scent… traces of damp earth, fresh blood, and cold starlit nights. This was who I was. A hunter.”
Kate’s romantic counterpart, Julian, the Prince of Cups, vamp leader (who is, in fact, a she ), is an ex-demon-hunting ninja nun. She’s made some enemies who want to do her harm… She’s tough, every bit as snarky, and wears her confidence well:
“I’m also a hedonistic, bloodsucking narcissist with nearly a thousand years’ worth of enemies but… I’m never dull.”
In this world where a girl can be a ‘Prince’ and wear a man’s name with panache (yes!!), Julian makes a good foil for Kate. She hires Kate to find out who is targeting her vamp family, and they start their mating dance. But… I never get a real sense for just what she see’s in Kate romantically, besides the superficial.
These two MC’s are pretty okay… so, what happened? From the beginning, the story suffers from awkward plot transitions and flow-- the first half so slow moving. And there are so many characters that a chart is necessary to keep them all straight. Also, we aren’t invested in them. How can we be? The sheer numbers of them mean little to no development, we’re merely told who they are and how they react as we hop back and forth between them.
“I’m Henry, by the way. My friends call me Harry. Bunny calls me Hal…”
“Dude, that’s a lot of names… Sorry, who’s Bunny again?” --Kate
Even the characters are confused.
The language is littered with similes (also an issue with Hall’s other book, “Glitterland”) and in the sex scenes, they’re just silly. This is Kate’s voice, is she really thinking this during sex?:
“her passion and her ease in it heated my skin like lovers’ breath”
“she sparkled in my mouth like champagne”
“kisses landed on her skin as vivid as butterflies”
“the idle play of her fingertips glittered over me like dew across a spider’s web”
and:
“she lay underneath me like an unexploded grenade” ... yikes!!
And when the characters start speaking in similes, too… well… c’mon now!!!... really???!!:
“Does the tart flavour of the strawberries perfectly complement the dry sweetness of the meringue, like dust motes dancing on an April morning?”
There are some great words on the page. In fact, some of them go together quite nicely. But not all of them. And there’s the dilemma-- it’s a data dump with lots of window dressing, but little depth-- too much clever going on and trying too hard. All this only gets in the way of the story and some good main characters who have real potential. The mystery wasn’t especially entertaining either; even though the action finally picked up towards the end, I was ultimately left unsatisfied.
What about the lesbian sex, you may ask? Coming from the male slash world, I gotta say I found the two sex scenes not especially titillating. But, maybe I’m just a cockamamie, penis-centric, dick-biased reader…
I was hoping for much more in this first installment of Kate’s adventures (it took me two tries to finish it). Perhaps others will find lots to love here, but it just wasn’t my cuppa.
2.5 stars---> 2 stars which means OK, coulda been a lot better.
For this review, give-aways, author interviews, and much more:
March 27, 2020
Massive Character Crush!
The plot. PI Kate Kane gets hired to solve the murder of a werewolf left behind the club of vampire Prince Julian Saint-Germain. Time is of the essence when soon another attack follows and tensions between vampires, werewolves, mages, demons and faeries is at an all time high. All Kate has to do is find the killer, keep her current GF safe from her former GF, while resisting the charms of the local pack's Alpha, who happens to be a lingerie model.
The characters. Kate. Fucking. Kane. Where do I even begin when describing how much I love this character? Initially when I first got to know her I thought "oh that's Micky Knight from book one". But then she also reminded me of Kenzi from Lost Girl with the wickedness of Mae West but also.. Dorothy Zbornak? I may be jumping the gun here but Kate Kane may just be, or at least become, my favorite character. Certainly for 2020 and possibly longer.
The writing. The entire story from beginning to end had me entertained. It's packed with action and humorous oneliners, witty banter, and sexy sarcastic snark. I'm having difficulty describing the writing to be honest. If you've seen the show Fleabag, you know there are moments when the character breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer. This feels similar. I don't even know how many times I found myself grinning and laughing like an idiot at Kate's antics.
The special. As amazing as Kate is, the secondary characters introduced are also a lot of fun to read about. Each with their own hangups and quirks they always brought often hilarious banter to the table. Even the characters that annoyed me were still likable because they were so clueless. Lookin' at you Patrick!
The negative. At times I felt like the world-building didn't get enough attention. It was detailed enough but every now and then I was left questioning what exactly was going on. It really is a minor issue and takes nothing away from the awesomeness that is this book.
The verdict. I already started book two. Why wait? This is not a series I will be pausing for anything or anyone. Full steam ahead!
"Here likes Kate Kane. Should have looked where she was fucking going. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
"I was going to wear a fabulous dress and have a fabulous time on my own terms. In my own way. For me. At a funeral. For a man whose murder I had, so far, failed to completely solve. Well, bollocks."
The plot. PI Kate Kane gets hired to solve the murder of a werewolf left behind the club of vampire Prince Julian Saint-Germain. Time is of the essence when soon another attack follows and tensions between vampires, werewolves, mages, demons and faeries is at an all time high. All Kate has to do is find the killer, keep her current GF safe from her former GF, while resisting the charms of the local pack's Alpha, who happens to be a lingerie model.
The characters. Kate. Fucking. Kane. Where do I even begin when describing how much I love this character? Initially when I first got to know her I thought "oh that's Micky Knight from book one". But then she also reminded me of Kenzi from Lost Girl with the wickedness of Mae West but also.. Dorothy Zbornak? I may be jumping the gun here but Kate Kane may just be, or at least become, my favorite character. Certainly for 2020 and possibly longer.
The writing. The entire story from beginning to end had me entertained. It's packed with action and humorous oneliners, witty banter, and sexy sarcastic snark. I'm having difficulty describing the writing to be honest. If you've seen the show Fleabag, you know there are moments when the character breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer. This feels similar. I don't even know how many times I found myself grinning and laughing like an idiot at Kate's antics.
The special. As amazing as Kate is, the secondary characters introduced are also a lot of fun to read about. Each with their own hangups and quirks they always brought often hilarious banter to the table. Even the characters that annoyed me were still likable because they were so clueless. Lookin' at you Patrick!
The negative. At times I felt like the world-building didn't get enough attention. It was detailed enough but every now and then I was left questioning what exactly was going on. It really is a minor issue and takes nothing away from the awesomeness that is this book.
The verdict. I already started book two. Why wait? This is not a series I will be pausing for anything or anyone. Full steam ahead!
"Here likes Kate Kane. Should have looked where she was fucking going. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
"I was going to wear a fabulous dress and have a fabulous time on my own terms. In my own way. For me. At a funeral. For a man whose murder I had, so far, failed to completely solve. Well, bollocks."
September 15, 2014
Recently I wrote a review of a book I can’t even remember – oh, wait, yes I do, it was this blah POS – in which I stated that I suffer from a horrible disease that makes me read books I know are just going to suck. It helps if there’s a half-naked man on the cover. I’m a publisher’s wet dream: I fall for the man boobs every time.
But I digress (man boobies are distracting). There’s another disease I suffer from. I like to call it: “Rosa, really, really likes your book, except when she doesn’t and then she feels really, really bad about it.” Or, if you’re feeling pithy, RRRLYBEWSDATSFRRBAI. (Why, yes, I am hilarious. Thank you for noticing.)
I was going to DNF Iron & Velvet at 52%. But I so rarely DNF books, that I caved to my guilt complex and decided to at least skim the last half. I feel really, really bad about the fact that even after finishing the book, I still don’t like it. I wanted to like it. I wanted to be one of the readers who oohed and awed over it. Instead I’m one of the readers who are FUCKING BORED by this book.
It started out well. Love at first sentence: “I woke up to the taste of stale whiskey and the smell of stale cigarettes.” Sounds like my kind of gal. There are multiple amusing quotes on every page:
The start of this book is an homage to The Maltese Falcon. Kate Kane’s partner, Archer, was murdered by the chick Kate was sleeping with, who she then had to either kill or have arrested, I can’t remember, and, oh yeah, she still hasn’t found that “bird thing” Archer was looking for. That’s pretty much the entire plot of The Maltese Falcon. That and the Casablanca references made this book pretty cool. (I'm a woman who will practically orgasm at the thought of Humphrey Bogart.)
Then we got to the sexy times. So many, many metaphors! “I fell into her kisses, wine and roseleaves and a little drop of poison.” Take me, Jebus, I can’t take anymore! I don’t give a shit if Julian’s hair is like feathers or her skin’s like pale marble – JUST FUCKING FUCK ALREADY.
Alexis Hall is quite fond of metaphors & similes, etc. It took me 3 readings of Glitterland to get past them and decided that I liked Ash. In that book, I was just so exhausted by Ash constantly describing his depression/bipolarism as waves crashing on a shore, blah blah blah. I felt he was something of a drama queen and needed to get over himself. Eventually I came to the conclusion that that was simply Ash's way of describing his condition. Poetically. So I like it coming from him, but it is completely out of place in a book that claims to be a "parody." Or is full of dry humor. It's just jarring.
And then there was the info dumpage that I don’t even have the energy to quote. Also, I found the lack of world building to be confusing. Do humans know about the supernatural world? Do the supernatural people run the world? Do humans know a little but the supernatural people just try and keep it to themselves for the most part? I DON’T KNOW! This is the type of info I like in my paranormal romance/urban fantasy.
Also, if Julian called Kate “sweeting” one more time I was prepared to FREAK THE FUCK OUT. 34 times, people. THIRTY FUCKING FOUR. I tried saying it out loud – I called my dog that a couple of times – it does not roll off the tongue. I would prefer about 800 “babies” in this book to one more “sweeting.”
This review is exhausting me, so to sum up: I feel like Hall was a little too fond of his MC, a little too fond of the world he created and a little too fond of references to other books and movies. He was enjoying himself and it shows, but I think it would’ve made a better book if a really good editor had suggested he cut out about 40% of it and got on with the plot. And I can’t believe I’m saying that because I usually love character driven stories. But I still don’t feel like I know Kate. She’s just a purveyor of dry humor.
Okay, that’s over with. Now here’s a super cute pic that will make us all feel better:
I feel better. Don’t you?
But I digress (man boobies are distracting). There’s another disease I suffer from. I like to call it: “Rosa, really, really likes your book, except when she doesn’t and then she feels really, really bad about it.” Or, if you’re feeling pithy, RRRLYBEWSDATSFRRBAI. (Why, yes, I am hilarious. Thank you for noticing.)
I was going to DNF Iron & Velvet at 52%. But I so rarely DNF books, that I caved to my guilt complex and decided to at least skim the last half. I feel really, really bad about the fact that even after finishing the book, I still don’t like it. I wanted to like it. I wanted to be one of the readers who oohed and awed over it. Instead I’m one of the readers who are FUCKING BORED by this book.
It started out well. Love at first sentence: “I woke up to the taste of stale whiskey and the smell of stale cigarettes.” Sounds like my kind of gal. There are multiple amusing quotes on every page:
The whiskey was smooth and rich, and probably expensive. Truthfully, I'm not that much of a connoisseur. I just like to get drunk.Awesome, right? I love anything involving a drunken, jaded PI. Anything noir.
“Oscar Wilde," he drawled, "wrote that a cigarette is the perfect type of perfect pleasure. It is exquisite and leaves one unsatisfied. He paused. "Wanker.”
On the stage, the singer started on one of those classic blues songs where a guy shoots his wife and is sad about it.
The start of this book is an homage to The Maltese Falcon. Kate Kane’s partner, Archer, was murdered by the chick Kate was sleeping with, who she then had to either kill or have arrested, I can’t remember, and, oh yeah, she still hasn’t found that “bird thing” Archer was looking for. That’s pretty much the entire plot of The Maltese Falcon. That and the Casablanca references made this book pretty cool. (I'm a woman who will practically orgasm at the thought of Humphrey Bogart.)
Then we got to the sexy times. So many, many metaphors! “I fell into her kisses, wine and roseleaves and a little drop of poison.” Take me, Jebus, I can’t take anymore! I don’t give a shit if Julian’s hair is like feathers or her skin’s like pale marble – JUST FUCKING FUCK ALREADY.
Alexis Hall is quite fond of metaphors & similes, etc. It took me 3 readings of Glitterland to get past them and decided that I liked Ash. In that book, I was just so exhausted by Ash constantly describing his depression/bipolarism as waves crashing on a shore, blah blah blah. I felt he was something of a drama queen and needed to get over himself. Eventually I came to the conclusion that that was simply Ash's way of describing his condition. Poetically. So I like it coming from him, but it is completely out of place in a book that claims to be a "parody." Or is full of dry humor. It's just jarring.
And then there was the info dumpage that I don’t even have the energy to quote. Also, I found the lack of world building to be confusing. Do humans know about the supernatural world? Do the supernatural people run the world? Do humans know a little but the supernatural people just try and keep it to themselves for the most part? I DON’T KNOW! This is the type of info I like in my paranormal romance/urban fantasy.
Also, if Julian called Kate “sweeting” one more time I was prepared to FREAK THE FUCK OUT. 34 times, people. THIRTY FUCKING FOUR. I tried saying it out loud – I called my dog that a couple of times – it does not roll off the tongue. I would prefer about 800 “babies” in this book to one more “sweeting.”
This review is exhausting me, so to sum up: I feel like Hall was a little too fond of his MC, a little too fond of the world he created and a little too fond of references to other books and movies. He was enjoying himself and it shows, but I think it would’ve made a better book if a really good editor had suggested he cut out about 40% of it and got on with the plot. And I can’t believe I’m saying that because I usually love character driven stories. But I still don’t feel like I know Kate. She’s just a purveyor of dry humor.
Okay, that’s over with. Now here’s a super cute pic that will make us all feel better:
I feel better. Don’t you?
August 27, 2019
This book is one of the most trope-y and unnecessarily overdramatic things I have ever read, and I was living for it.
This is a story about Kate, a paranormal investigator, as she tries to solve the murder of a werewolf, falls for a vampire prince (don't let the name fool you, Julian is a vampire woman), while also trying not to anger various other paranormal creatures.
Everyone in this book is a combination of queer, ridiculous, and horny, often all three, and... I didn't know how much I needed an f/f vampire romance until I read this book. I loved how these tired and often ugly tropes felt a lot less unbearable and even interesting when one makes them gay and doesn't expect the reader to take everything seriously. For example, drama with ex-girlfriends from the point of view of a lesbian is a lot more interesting than the drama with exes in straight books. I loved all of it.
When I say that this is tropey, I mean that this does read a little like fanfiction, also because so many parts of it are obviously references to more well-known urban fantasy series, and that's part of the fun. The minor character who is very clearly an Edward Cullen reference was hilarious, and I mean, after years of being told by the very straight urban fantasy genre that I needed to take books like Twilight and its sparkly vampires or the Fever series and the walking personification of toxic masculinity that was its love interest seriously, this is so refreshing. Nothing about this book demands that! And urban fantasy works so much better this way.
On the negatives, I will say that while the sex scenes aren't bad, they could have used less weird metaphors and descriptions (it could have been part of the parody aspect, but it usually wasn't over-the-top enough to be funny, so maybe it wasn't?) and that the pacing felt a bit wobbly, but overall, I haven't laughed this much while reading a book in months, so I'm definitely not here to complain. It's short, it's fun, it's exactly what it needs to be.
This is a story about Kate, a paranormal investigator, as she tries to solve the murder of a werewolf, falls for a vampire prince (don't let the name fool you, Julian is a vampire woman), while also trying not to anger various other paranormal creatures.
Everyone in this book is a combination of queer, ridiculous, and horny, often all three, and... I didn't know how much I needed an f/f vampire romance until I read this book. I loved how these tired and often ugly tropes felt a lot less unbearable and even interesting when one makes them gay and doesn't expect the reader to take everything seriously. For example, drama with ex-girlfriends from the point of view of a lesbian is a lot more interesting than the drama with exes in straight books. I loved all of it.
“My girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend, my girlfriend's ex-girlfriend, and my new assistant were all staring at me.”
When I say that this is tropey, I mean that this does read a little like fanfiction, also because so many parts of it are obviously references to more well-known urban fantasy series, and that's part of the fun. The minor character who is very clearly an Edward Cullen reference was hilarious, and I mean, after years of being told by the very straight urban fantasy genre that I needed to take books like Twilight and its sparkly vampires or the Fever series and the walking personification of toxic masculinity that was its love interest seriously, this is so refreshing. Nothing about this book demands that! And urban fantasy works so much better this way.
On the negatives, I will say that while the sex scenes aren't bad, they could have used less weird metaphors and descriptions (it could have been part of the parody aspect, but it usually wasn't over-the-top enough to be funny, so maybe it wasn't?) and that the pacing felt a bit wobbly, but overall, I haven't laughed this much while reading a book in months, so I'm definitely not here to complain. It's short, it's fun, it's exactly what it needs to be.
November 30, 2021
Iron & Velvet is an over-the-top good time.
Kate is a semi-standard Urban Fantasy heroine, a noir-ish detective in this case, with some magic powers but mostly familiar human baggage, and an ability to not get killed doing stupid stuff. In over her head most of the time, she flails around an alternate-universe London, pissing off the various powers that be, and surviving on luck, smart remarks, sex, and a tinge of wild magic.
What makes it different is that Kate is a lesbian, and the book is chock-a-block with women. It occurred to me more than once as I read, that this or that role in a book is usually played by a man, and I didn’t mean the love interest. The vampire prince, the demon-hunting nuns, the werewolf alpha, the robot/statue sidekick, these are all female characters. The book doesn’t make a fuss that they are, they just are--and I have to wonder, sincerely, if that is why some people didn’t like it. I hope not.
It’s filled with terrific descriptions and snappy dialogue. I kept pausing to grunt irritably at my iPad, trying to highlight good stuff with fingers that I had (inevitably) just treated with Body Shop Almond Hand & Nail Butter, which spotlights a real design flaw in the touchscreen tablet, Apple people—but I digress.
---------------------------------
Kate is flirting with a girl at a club (shouting because it’s loud), and the girl, Tash, says:
“LOL.”
“DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST SAY LOL?”
“TOTES.”
The dowager werewolf:
It was like she’d been whittled down until she was nothing but skin and ferocity.
Of course the monsters are beyond, beyond gross. Like, you can’t even see gross from there.
The tentacle “felt rubbery, lumpy, and slightly wet, like a condom full of vomit”
Good stuff. Really good.
Kate is a semi-standard Urban Fantasy heroine, a noir-ish detective in this case, with some magic powers but mostly familiar human baggage, and an ability to not get killed doing stupid stuff. In over her head most of the time, she flails around an alternate-universe London, pissing off the various powers that be, and surviving on luck, smart remarks, sex, and a tinge of wild magic.
What makes it different is that Kate is a lesbian, and the book is chock-a-block with women. It occurred to me more than once as I read, that this or that role in a book is usually played by a man, and I didn’t mean the love interest. The vampire prince, the demon-hunting nuns, the werewolf alpha, the robot/statue sidekick, these are all female characters. The book doesn’t make a fuss that they are, they just are--and I have to wonder, sincerely, if that is why some people didn’t like it. I hope not.
It’s filled with terrific descriptions and snappy dialogue. I kept pausing to grunt irritably at my iPad, trying to highlight good stuff with fingers that I had (inevitably) just treated with Body Shop Almond Hand & Nail Butter, which spotlights a real design flaw in the touchscreen tablet, Apple people—but I digress.
---------------------------------
Kate is flirting with a girl at a club (shouting because it’s loud), and the girl, Tash, says:
“LOL.”
“DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST SAY LOL?”
“TOTES.”
The dowager werewolf:
It was like she’d been whittled down until she was nothing but skin and ferocity.
Of course the monsters are beyond, beyond gross. Like, you can’t even see gross from there.
The tentacle “felt rubbery, lumpy, and slightly wet, like a condom full of vomit”
Good stuff. Really good.
December 8, 2019
If possible, I love this book even more now than when I read it for the first time 4 1/2 years ago. So much about Iron & Velvet makes me happy.
May 29, 2015
If you start reading Iron & Velvet expecting it to be yet another 'serious' urban fantasy with a strong PI heroine, you would be wrong.
It is a parody of almost every single trope (and maybe even some characters) you can find in urban fantasy today. In paranormal romance too.
You have your noirish PI heroine with not so ordinary origin (fighting against it, of course) and interesting Past. There is a hint of unused power. Then you have a freaky love interest, an insane ex-boyfriend, one awesome sidekick and a lot of hilarious and suitable epitaphs. The monsters Kate encounters, her informants or ex-lovers are nothing to scoff at either.
And that is why I enjoyed the hell out of this book. The secret is not to take it seriously. Otherwise, you will start comparing it to other books and that simply wouldn't make any sense.
It is a parody of almost every single trope (and maybe even some characters) you can find in urban fantasy today. In paranormal romance too.
You have your noirish PI heroine with not so ordinary origin (fighting against it, of course) and interesting Past. There is a hint of unused power. Then you have a freaky love interest, an insane ex-boyfriend, one awesome sidekick and a lot of hilarious and suitable epitaphs. The monsters Kate encounters, her informants or ex-lovers are nothing to scoff at either.
And that is why I enjoyed the hell out of this book. The secret is not to take it seriously. Otherwise, you will start comparing it to other books and that simply wouldn't make any sense.
October 12, 2021
4.25 stars. This was so much fun, an excellent October book! Vampires, werewolves, mages, faeries, you name it, it’s in here and there’s a crime investigation on top of it.
July 9, 2015
I love vampires and mages and fae magic. To get all of that in a lesfic paranormal mystery is a great find. What made this 5 stars for me though is Kates dry cynical humour. It's not for everyone but i loved it.
January 1, 2015
ARC provided by Riptide Publishing through Netgalley
As I read this book's description it went something like this:
Book: "My name's Kate Kane, and when an eight-hundred-year-old vampire prince came to me with a case--"
Me: *yawn* Boring!
Book: "I should have told her no. But I've always been a sucker for a femme fatale."
Me: *stars in my eyes*
Because really:
But as it turns out, a story cannot be sustained by lesbians alone.
Kate Kane (not Batwoman), is the child of a being of untold power, who just lost her P.I. partner under undivulged circumstances, and is trying to keep her business from sinking when she's approached by a paranormal hottie with whom she'll become involved.
Sounds familiar?
That's because that is basically the starting plot of Ilona Andrew's Kate Daniels series.
Kate's ex?
A brooding perpetually teenaged vampire, who watches her sleep, is creepy, possessive, and sparkles.
Yeah...
Kate is trying to solve the case of a murdered werewolf in vampire turf, but not only is the whole case incredibly boring, Kate also happens to be unbelievably incompetent. Most times a reader will notice this but just move on. But the author made a point to draw attention to the most aggravating instances of Kate's actions deeming her tstl by using this sentence throughout the book:
"Here lies Kate Kane. *insert stupidity* Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
A few instances in which this happened:
"Here lies Kate Kane. Eaten by big bad werewolves. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
"Here lies Kate Kane, killed by a bloodsucking monster in the Knightsbridge flat of a far more attractive bloodsucking monster. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
"Here lies Kate Kane. Killed in a foreplay accident. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
"Here lies Kate Kane, shot by a ghost on a unicorn. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
"Here lies Kate Kane. Died of leptospirosis after swimming in a river of poo. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
"Here lies Kate Kane. Driven into a wall by a statue without a licence. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
"Here lies Kate Kane. Should have looked where she was fucking going. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed."
It's like the author really, really wanted us to have no choice but to remember how inept this woman is.
Why were people hiring her? It's a mystery...
Another mystery: why was everyone falling for her, and trying to get into her pants?
This is a woman who skips showers and walks around wearing a fedora...
A fedora !
image ©eatthattoast.com
I really did not feel the romance between Kate and Julian. At all. They meet, Julian says some questionable things to get into her pants, they see each other about two more times and in a week they're in love with each other. Where's the relationship development?
What makes an immortal vampire fall for Kate?
Exactly what made Kate go for Julian after a disastrous relationship with another vampire?
I'm going to need a bit more than the fact that they were really hot for each other.
Speaking of which - the sex scenes. I honestly fell asleep reading them. The purple prose didn't do them any favours, nor did this sort of descriptions:
"She lay underneath me like an unexploded grenade."
I did give it 2 stars, however, and they were well deserved. Unlike the other books it ripped off or paid homage or whatever, this book was funny. Kate said some very amusing things. Actually, she just thought them, in case you're going, "Oh, maybe that's why everyone wanted her, because she was so funny!" No, she just thought really funny things, but seldom spoke them.
Yeah, 2 whole stars because it was funny, and it deserved it!
See this bit where Kate was just attacked by an eldritch faery monstrosity which attempted to drain her of her life essence:
She reached out and twisted a lock of my hair around her finger. I looked down and saw it shone white in the moonlight.
“You see,” she said softly, “he could have sucked you dry in seconds. I don’t want anyone hurt on my account.”
In a moment of horrified vanity, I checked the rest of my hair, but it was okay. God, what if it had grabbed my boob or something?
But, funny bits aside, it had very little that was truly original, and what was original was boring (it took me four days to get through this book!). Pity...
July 12, 2014
The paranormal PI is its own little mini-genre, and the plot and world-building here followed the main patterns of the other examples I've read, especially the heavyweight of the genre, Jim Butcher's Harry Dresden series. Hall's main innovation then was making Kate a lesbian, and what an innovation! Kate's a terrific character, a really fresh take on the familiar hard-boiled, hard-drinking PI type. Also, since I think of that character as quintessentially American, the "Englishness" of the narration added a lot for me. Like with Glitterland, Hall's writing is superb--absolutely riddled with witty, memorable, quotable phrases. A few examples:
"I couldn't be arsed to shower, so I threw on what had been yesterday's clothes yesterday, and made myself a breakfast of reheated coffee and ibuprofen."
"If it wasn't for werewolf cousins, there'd be far fewer fashion interns, It boys, graphic novelists, bespoke shoe boutiques, and sushi-haggis fusion restaurants in the world."
"What can I say? I went through a biker chick phase, and by biker chick phase, I mean I slept with a lot of biker chicks."
The strong, clever voice kept me reading despite the plot being nothing new. Sadly for myself, I wasn't able to get too riled up by the sex scenes--I thought they were very well written but admiration is not exactly the emotion I'm after for those babies. The great dialogue and characters more than made up for it, however.
Bottom Line: This book officially put Alexis Hall on my auto-buy list.
"I couldn't be arsed to shower, so I threw on what had been yesterday's clothes yesterday, and made myself a breakfast of reheated coffee and ibuprofen."
"If it wasn't for werewolf cousins, there'd be far fewer fashion interns, It boys, graphic novelists, bespoke shoe boutiques, and sushi-haggis fusion restaurants in the world."
"What can I say? I went through a biker chick phase, and by biker chick phase, I mean I slept with a lot of biker chicks."
The strong, clever voice kept me reading despite the plot being nothing new. Sadly for myself, I wasn't able to get too riled up by the sex scenes--I thought they were very well written but admiration is not exactly the emotion I'm after for those babies. The great dialogue and characters more than made up for it, however.
Bottom Line: This book officially put Alexis Hall on my auto-buy list.
January 2, 2020
I'm very selective when it comes to paranormal books, meaning I tend to not like most of them, but colour me pleasantly surprised. Really like this book. The story is witty and funny. Kate Kane is a kick-ass PI. The book has the usual characters (vampires, werewolves, witches, faes, etc.) but this world is quite original from other stories. Yes, was skeptical about a man writing lesbian fiction, but it truly is a non-issue as the book is very well-written. Looking forward to reading book 2 and hopefully, book 3 will be out soon.
December 14, 2013
Welp, this one passed the "stay up two hours past bedtime for just one more chapter--ok one MORE more chapter" test. Minor quibbles of the 4.5-stars variety but rounding up for that.
Kate is a charming narrator, wry and self-aware, an excellent updating of the noir detective trope, complete with the fascination with femmes fatales that she knows will only lead to trouble. And it's such fun to read. This is a story where all the ladies are gorgeous and most of them are aggressive about it, and I love that. It's delicious. (Major contenders for Kate's affection? An ex-nun hedonist vampire who owns decadent nightclubs, and an old-money alpha werewolf who models lingerie. Shameless and delightful.)
Also on the genre-awareness front, I love the inclusion of a grossly possessive stalker vampire ex who is not romanticized in any way: the fact that he's specifically treated as "that mistake I made when I was a teenager who thought this stuff was exciting, and now he won't go away and thinks his opinion matters." He's awful, of course, but the story handles him well, and I'm particularly happy with the subtext that girls who fall for that guy when they're in high school are perfectly capable of growing up to reject him.
The world Hall sets up here is really deep and complicated, which is both blessing and curse; the "standard" UF/PNR factions get representation and there are also some stranger things at the edges (I am so fond of Jack, I can't even). At times it got a bit frustrating, that Kate would have asides about the time so-and-so almost killed her during a battle over this-and-such, history that the reader has no access to. But it also did a lot to tie her to the world and make the world seem like it had an existing history, so I'm going to just hope some of those asides develop into stories at a later date.
There are two more books planned in this series (so far?) and I think I need to go see if the second one is available for preorder yet.
Kate is a charming narrator, wry and self-aware, an excellent updating of the noir detective trope, complete with the fascination with femmes fatales that she knows will only lead to trouble. And it's such fun to read. This is a story where all the ladies are gorgeous and most of them are aggressive about it, and I love that. It's delicious. (Major contenders for Kate's affection? An ex-nun hedonist vampire who owns decadent nightclubs, and an old-money alpha werewolf who models lingerie. Shameless and delightful.)
Also on the genre-awareness front, I love the inclusion of a grossly possessive stalker vampire ex who is not romanticized in any way: the fact that he's specifically treated as "that mistake I made when I was a teenager who thought this stuff was exciting, and now he won't go away and thinks his opinion matters." He's awful, of course, but the story handles him well, and I'm particularly happy with the subtext that girls who fall for that guy when they're in high school are perfectly capable of growing up to reject him.
The world Hall sets up here is really deep and complicated, which is both blessing and curse; the "standard" UF/PNR factions get representation and there are also some stranger things at the edges (I am so fond of Jack, I can't even). At times it got a bit frustrating, that Kate would have asides about the time so-and-so almost killed her during a battle over this-and-such, history that the reader has no access to. But it also did a lot to tie her to the world and make the world seem like it had an existing history, so I'm going to just hope some of those asides develop into stories at a later date.
There are two more books planned in this series (so far?) and I think I need to go see if the second one is available for preorder yet.
December 7, 2020
The setup for this book is (pretty explicitly) what if a British version of Bella Swann grew up, dumped Edward, and became a hard-drinking private detective (in full noir mode) who dates women? (So, feel free to imagine Kristin Stewart playing the role with a British accent.)
Honestly, I found all of those initial parallels (clever though many of them were!) to be so explicit that they were distracting and stopped me from really sinking into this story itself. Every time there'd be a new note about how her awful vampire ex-boyfriend had glittered, or something like that, I'd be reminded all over again that this wasn't real, it was meta commentary on Twilight, etc.
However! Once it moved on from that initial setup, I ended up really enjoying all of the more original parts of the story, especially the various kinds of creepy and fabulous fae and mortal magic. All of the scenes involving magic in the book were just gorgeously written, with some absolute catch-your-breath-in-wonder moments along the way. Although I always roll my eyes a bit at the noir-mystery trope where every single seductive powerful woman tries to sleep with the cynical P.I. (and I continued to roll my eyes at it in this version), I actually really enjoyed Kate's developing relationship with a (female) vampire prince who actually felt both convincingly medieval/immortal and also deliciously fun. And a lot of the side characters were really wonderful and funny, especially her new assistant.
So, I'm definitely interested in reading the rest of the series.
Honestly, I found all of those initial parallels (clever though many of them were!) to be so explicit that they were distracting and stopped me from really sinking into this story itself. Every time there'd be a new note about how her awful vampire ex-boyfriend had glittered, or something like that, I'd be reminded all over again that this wasn't real, it was meta commentary on Twilight, etc.
However! Once it moved on from that initial setup, I ended up really enjoying all of the more original parts of the story, especially the various kinds of creepy and fabulous fae and mortal magic. All of the scenes involving magic in the book were just gorgeously written, with some absolute catch-your-breath-in-wonder moments along the way. Although I always roll my eyes a bit at the noir-mystery trope where every single seductive powerful woman tries to sleep with the cynical P.I. (and I continued to roll my eyes at it in this version), I actually really enjoyed Kate's developing relationship with a (female) vampire prince who actually felt both convincingly medieval/immortal and also deliciously fun. And a lot of the side characters were really wonderful and funny, especially her new assistant.
So, I'm definitely interested in reading the rest of the series.
September 7, 2016
"I've spent the entire case sifting through poo."
1.5
Kate Kane is a paranormal investigator. She drinks too much, smokes too much, is extremely cynical and has a bad track record when it comes to relationships. She recently broke up with her girlfriend (for unexplained reasons) and is still pretty bummed about it. Her business partner was murdered by her rebound girlfriend and business is slow. She's hired by a vampire prince, Julian, to investigate the murder of a werewolf outside her club and as much as she doesn't want to work for a vampire, she takes the case because bills need to be paid.
I used to read mainly PNR and UF m/f before I discovered m/m. Nalini Singh, Kresley Cole, Ilona Andrews, Marjorie M. Liu, Lynsay Sands... the list goes on and on. And although I read mostly contemporary m/m now, I still go back to read many of these series as new books come out. So I really enjoy this genre and I thought I would like this book. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
The main problem was that I was bored. The first half of this book was bogged down with too much info dump. PNR and UF authors have the difficult task of introducing readers to worlds different than our own. They create worlds with magical and supernatural creatures that must live within the rules of that world. Authors like Andrews and Singh do a good job of showing us their worlds without excessive info dump. The readers learn about the magic and the rules organically as the characters interact with each other and move through the plot. Hall felt the need to have one character or another drop huge amounts of info at us at a time. Someone would go on and on explaining vampire politics, werewolf politics, witch politics, their various powers, etc... And sometimes it was a bit confusing. Admittedly, this might have been due to the fact that I started skimming parts of it. It also seemed to me that there weren't any real set rules. I got the impression that witches were at the bottom of the supernatural totem pole and yet they have unlimited power when convenient.
Kate also kinda sucked as an investigator. She half assed her way through the case for most of the story. And, although this can be entertaining sometimes, well mostly it wasn't. Her investigation consisted of interrogating characters to cross them off her suspect list. It mostly went like this:
Kate: "So, did you kill the guy?"
Suspect: "Nope."
Kate: "Do you know who did?."
Suspect: "Nope."
Kate: "OK."
Then there was the sex. This was my first F/F so I have nothing to compare it to, but damn, it was dull. And all the metaphors and similes used to described it were just too much:
"Her face was fascinating, as though she was a puzzle I couldn't quite solve. Time's cryptic crossword, ageless and ancient, fragile and eternal."
"She sparkled in my mouth like champagne. My kisses landed on her skin as vivid as butterflies."
"She lay underneath me like an unexploded grenade."
"I took my time, savoring her. Like a pudding."
Like a pudding?!! Who thinks like this during sex?
Then there was the amount of times Kate thought "Huh". If you wanted to play a drinking game and take a shot every time she says it, you'd die of alcohol poisoning.
It wasn't all bad. Kate's cynical and sarcastic POV was really funny as was the banter between characters. Hall takes the piss on the genre as well. Kate Kane might just be Kate Daniels in disguise. She has an Edward Cullen type ex-boyfriend: a glittery vampire that stalks her and watches her sleep. And I'm pretty sure they killed Harry Potter's patronus out in the woods. Julians stories as a ninja nun were interesting. And after about the 60% mark even the case got a little more interesting with all the action down in the sewers. Elise, the animated statue/sex toy was introduced around this time and she was my favorite character. She probably gave me the biggest laughs, since she took everything so literally.
So, although it had it's moments, it was mostly just... meh.
1.5
Kate Kane is a paranormal investigator. She drinks too much, smokes too much, is extremely cynical and has a bad track record when it comes to relationships. She recently broke up with her girlfriend (for unexplained reasons) and is still pretty bummed about it. Her business partner was murdered by her rebound girlfriend and business is slow. She's hired by a vampire prince, Julian, to investigate the murder of a werewolf outside her club and as much as she doesn't want to work for a vampire, she takes the case because bills need to be paid.
I used to read mainly PNR and UF m/f before I discovered m/m. Nalini Singh, Kresley Cole, Ilona Andrews, Marjorie M. Liu, Lynsay Sands... the list goes on and on. And although I read mostly contemporary m/m now, I still go back to read many of these series as new books come out. So I really enjoy this genre and I thought I would like this book. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
The main problem was that I was bored. The first half of this book was bogged down with too much info dump. PNR and UF authors have the difficult task of introducing readers to worlds different than our own. They create worlds with magical and supernatural creatures that must live within the rules of that world. Authors like Andrews and Singh do a good job of showing us their worlds without excessive info dump. The readers learn about the magic and the rules organically as the characters interact with each other and move through the plot. Hall felt the need to have one character or another drop huge amounts of info at us at a time. Someone would go on and on explaining vampire politics, werewolf politics, witch politics, their various powers, etc... And sometimes it was a bit confusing. Admittedly, this might have been due to the fact that I started skimming parts of it. It also seemed to me that there weren't any real set rules. I got the impression that witches were at the bottom of the supernatural totem pole and yet they have unlimited power when convenient.
Kate also kinda sucked as an investigator. She half assed her way through the case for most of the story. And, although this can be entertaining sometimes, well mostly it wasn't. Her investigation consisted of interrogating characters to cross them off her suspect list. It mostly went like this:
Kate: "So, did you kill the guy?"
Suspect: "Nope."
Kate: "Do you know who did?."
Suspect: "Nope."
Kate: "OK."
Then there was the sex. This was my first F/F so I have nothing to compare it to, but damn, it was dull. And all the metaphors and similes used to described it were just too much:
"Her face was fascinating, as though she was a puzzle I couldn't quite solve. Time's cryptic crossword, ageless and ancient, fragile and eternal."
"She sparkled in my mouth like champagne. My kisses landed on her skin as vivid as butterflies."
"She lay underneath me like an unexploded grenade."
"I took my time, savoring her. Like a pudding."
Like a pudding?!! Who thinks like this during sex?
Then there was the amount of times Kate thought "Huh". If you wanted to play a drinking game and take a shot every time she says it, you'd die of alcohol poisoning.
It wasn't all bad. Kate's cynical and sarcastic POV was really funny as was the banter between characters. Hall takes the piss on the genre as well. Kate Kane might just be Kate Daniels in disguise. She has an Edward Cullen type ex-boyfriend: a glittery vampire that stalks her and watches her sleep. And I'm pretty sure they killed Harry Potter's patronus out in the woods. Julians stories as a ninja nun were interesting. And after about the 60% mark even the case got a little more interesting with all the action down in the sewers. Elise, the animated statue/sex toy was introduced around this time and she was my favorite character. She probably gave me the biggest laughs, since she took everything so literally.
So, although it had it's moments, it was mostly just... meh.
February 2, 2017
4.5 stars. I was not sure what to expect from this book as there were mixed reviews. It was like marmite (British spread, which I adore), you either love it or hate it. I loved it. At first it was like being on a rollercoaster ride, a bit slow, building anticipation, not sure whether this is the ride that goes upside down and at all angles, or a safe bet. Very quickly the story picks up speed and similar to a rollercoaster was non stop action. At the end I was pleased to come away in one piece and better for reading it.
The story starts with the murder of a werewolf outside a vampire club. Kate Kane, paranormal investigator, has to find who dunnit to prevent tensions rising which in worst case could lead to a supernatural war.
I liked the character of Kate Kane, flawed person, has a commitment phobia. She is part fae and has insight into this world. Personally, I would have preferred some more backstory as lot of info supplied ie her parentage, ex relationships, run ins with vampires but I did feel there was a pre sequel I'm missing. Perhaps all will be revealed in book 2, which I eagerly await. These were minor and did not detract from enjoying or understanding the story.
I love the British humour, the fast pace (once it got going), told in first person and done very well. I also liked the character Elise, a live statue and her and Kate's interactions.
A sign of good book, I couldn't put it down and wanted to know what scrape Kate got herself into next. There is a romantic element, or love interest and I much prefer books with more great plot and romance as part of it.
I would recommend, perhaps check out sampler chapters first to check its your cup of tea. I look forward to reading more of this series.
The story starts with the murder of a werewolf outside a vampire club. Kate Kane, paranormal investigator, has to find who dunnit to prevent tensions rising which in worst case could lead to a supernatural war.
I liked the character of Kate Kane, flawed person, has a commitment phobia. She is part fae and has insight into this world. Personally, I would have preferred some more backstory as lot of info supplied ie her parentage, ex relationships, run ins with vampires but I did feel there was a pre sequel I'm missing. Perhaps all will be revealed in book 2, which I eagerly await. These were minor and did not detract from enjoying or understanding the story.
I love the British humour, the fast pace (once it got going), told in first person and done very well. I also liked the character Elise, a live statue and her and Kate's interactions.
A sign of good book, I couldn't put it down and wanted to know what scrape Kate got herself into next. There is a romantic element, or love interest and I much prefer books with more great plot and romance as part of it.
I would recommend, perhaps check out sampler chapters first to check its your cup of tea. I look forward to reading more of this series.
February 17, 2014
This book was hit or miss with a lot of my friends, and having read their reviews, i can easily see how and why they felt the way they did, either for or against.
Personally, I enjoyed it. Absolutely knife-sharp humor, fantastic wordplay, and completely intoxicating worldbuilding tipped me firmly into the "Kate Kane fan" camp.
I would have loved to see tighter pacing, particularly in the first half. The first 30 percent especially was very heavy in internal monologue which is very tempting to skim--but some of the best wordplay is buried in the middle of very long paragraphs, so if I had skimmed, I'd likely have missed it.
There has been a lot of talk about the sex in this book, spoilers ahead, for real, mind the tag--
Hall uses literary device relentlessly, sometimes subtly and sometimes ham-handedly. My favorite this time was his use of repetition, which I found charming.
The imagery in the fight scenes was flat out disgusting, over the top grotesque. Which,
Personally, I enjoyed it. Absolutely knife-sharp humor, fantastic wordplay, and completely intoxicating worldbuilding tipped me firmly into the "Kate Kane fan" camp.
I would have loved to see tighter pacing, particularly in the first half. The first 30 percent especially was very heavy in internal monologue which is very tempting to skim--but some of the best wordplay is buried in the middle of very long paragraphs, so if I had skimmed, I'd likely have missed it.
There has been a lot of talk about the sex in this book, spoilers ahead, for real, mind the tag--
Hall uses literary device relentlessly, sometimes subtly and sometimes ham-handedly. My favorite this time was his use of repetition, which I found charming.
The imagery in the fight scenes was flat out disgusting, over the top grotesque. Which,
July 29, 2016
Lust, betrayal, magic, fae, vampires, werewolves, witches - oh my! What isn't in this story? Even a bit of kinky BDSM is thrown in. Mr. Hall is a new to me author and I am hooked. First off, this is a lesbian story which is so hard to come by. To have a well written one with a mystery is even better. Then to add paranormal elements which all work together, I'm entranced. Topping it off with some kinky rough sex and a bit of bondage, I'm completely enslaved. I must read the next book in this series. I can't wait!
Kate Kane is a half human half fae working as a private investigator. She is a bundle of trouble and it seems she falls for a specific type of female. The dangerous powerful female which she sometimes alienates. She has fallen off the wagon before by shacking up with a guy. This is the worst mistake as he is an overprotective vampire. He is also a bit creepy when it becomes evident of his stalkers-esque ways.
Kate is an interesting character with many flaws. She seems to have impulse control issues as well as a lack in self-preservation. While she's not a character one would consider a typical hero, she does have a good heart. Her messed up life adds to her charm. Mr. Hall does a great job of character building because it doesn't even bother me this story is in first person point of view from Kate. Kate's observations are often wry and sarcastic, just how I enjoy it. She's not exactly snarky. She's more jaded with a burned out mentality.
Why is Kate so burned out? There appears to be history which the reader is not fully knowledgeable about. This story may vex the reader because it feels as if we are missing vital information. Information such as what happened to Kate's partner. How did Kate piss off so many powerful supernaturals? This world Mr. Hall builds is fascinating. There are so many things to learn about the different power structures as well as how Kate integrates with each. Mr. Hall does an excellent job at painting a vivid picture of each location. He shows action very well, especially during a fighting scene. The added element of scent makes a difference. It's not often a writer is able to blend in scents. This helps enhance the story and draw the reader into the storyline better. He doesn't just use nice smells either. Pungent odors of poo and sewers are described clearly. At times it is overwhelming for a person like me, who possesses a very sensitive nose. I could imagine the disgusting filth Kate slogs through and with the clear description of scent, my mind is even tricked into smelling it.
What I really liked about Mr. Hall's writing voice is how he portrays the characters without telling us. For example, Patrick is the vampire who still pines for Kate. Rather than stating Patrick is a psycho stalker, he shows the reader by explaining Kate's discomfort finding yet another drawn picture of her sleeping, left by Patrick. This is clever because it clearly demonstrates Patrick's attention as unwanted. In addition, Patrick is creepy because he obviously breaks into Kate's home to watch her while she sleeps and draws pictures of her. A person is most vulnerable when they sleep. So even if Patrick doesn't do anything physical to her, the intimidation is there. It is subtle and more insidious when presented in this manner.
Another secondary character who is well designed is Tara. She's an alpha werewolf who is also a famous model. While the reader knows Tara is a strong shifter, Mr. Hall provides evidence through Tara's fights with powerful creatures. It's impressive and demonstrates that Tara is not to be messed with. And yet, he designs her to be whimsical in her vanity. This is cleverly established through Tara's tweets. There are so many examples of how Mr. Hall displays his talented writing abilities to draw a reader in. This paranormal mystery is highly recommended to those who enjoy good plot, great characters and hot f/f sex.
*provided by NetGalley
Kate Kane is a half human half fae working as a private investigator. She is a bundle of trouble and it seems she falls for a specific type of female. The dangerous powerful female which she sometimes alienates. She has fallen off the wagon before by shacking up with a guy. This is the worst mistake as he is an overprotective vampire. He is also a bit creepy when it becomes evident of his stalkers-esque ways.
Kate is an interesting character with many flaws. She seems to have impulse control issues as well as a lack in self-preservation. While she's not a character one would consider a typical hero, she does have a good heart. Her messed up life adds to her charm. Mr. Hall does a great job of character building because it doesn't even bother me this story is in first person point of view from Kate. Kate's observations are often wry and sarcastic, just how I enjoy it. She's not exactly snarky. She's more jaded with a burned out mentality.
Why is Kate so burned out? There appears to be history which the reader is not fully knowledgeable about. This story may vex the reader because it feels as if we are missing vital information. Information such as what happened to Kate's partner. How did Kate piss off so many powerful supernaturals? This world Mr. Hall builds is fascinating. There are so many things to learn about the different power structures as well as how Kate integrates with each. Mr. Hall does an excellent job at painting a vivid picture of each location. He shows action very well, especially during a fighting scene. The added element of scent makes a difference. It's not often a writer is able to blend in scents. This helps enhance the story and draw the reader into the storyline better. He doesn't just use nice smells either. Pungent odors of poo and sewers are described clearly. At times it is overwhelming for a person like me, who possesses a very sensitive nose. I could imagine the disgusting filth Kate slogs through and with the clear description of scent, my mind is even tricked into smelling it.
What I really liked about Mr. Hall's writing voice is how he portrays the characters without telling us. For example, Patrick is the vampire who still pines for Kate. Rather than stating Patrick is a psycho stalker, he shows the reader by explaining Kate's discomfort finding yet another drawn picture of her sleeping, left by Patrick. This is clever because it clearly demonstrates Patrick's attention as unwanted. In addition, Patrick is creepy because he obviously breaks into Kate's home to watch her while she sleeps and draws pictures of her. A person is most vulnerable when they sleep. So even if Patrick doesn't do anything physical to her, the intimidation is there. It is subtle and more insidious when presented in this manner.
Another secondary character who is well designed is Tara. She's an alpha werewolf who is also a famous model. While the reader knows Tara is a strong shifter, Mr. Hall provides evidence through Tara's fights with powerful creatures. It's impressive and demonstrates that Tara is not to be messed with. And yet, he designs her to be whimsical in her vanity. This is cleverly established through Tara's tweets. There are so many examples of how Mr. Hall displays his talented writing abilities to draw a reader in. This paranormal mystery is highly recommended to those who enjoy good plot, great characters and hot f/f sex.
*provided by NetGalley
October 6, 2013
I received this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
P.I. Kate Kane is in a bad way. Her partner’s dead, she’s nearly out of booze, and the bill collectors are hounding her. Against her better judgment she accepts a job solving a murder on the dreaded vampires’ turf. That vampire happens to be a hot chick Kate knows is exactly the wrong sort for her (and thus exactly the sort she digs). One thing leads to six others and bam, Kate is stuck in the middle of monster politics with a brand new hot vampire girlfriend who despite her age, needs plenty of protecting.
From the book cover, I thought this would be a period book. It’s not. But that doesn’t detract from the story in the slightest.
Kate Kane is a flawed and witty heroine. Her quips had me laughing from the very start of the book straight through to the end. There’s magic, mayhem, and sexy times. With so many different supernatural creatures, one might think it would be too much but the author makes it work superbly. I can’t wait for the next installment in the Kate Kane, Paranormal Investigator series.
This is possibly my favorite book of the year. I wanted to give copies away but realized it’s not even out until December!
P.I. Kate Kane is in a bad way. Her partner’s dead, she’s nearly out of booze, and the bill collectors are hounding her. Against her better judgment she accepts a job solving a murder on the dreaded vampires’ turf. That vampire happens to be a hot chick Kate knows is exactly the wrong sort for her (and thus exactly the sort she digs). One thing leads to six others and bam, Kate is stuck in the middle of monster politics with a brand new hot vampire girlfriend who despite her age, needs plenty of protecting.
From the book cover, I thought this would be a period book. It’s not. But that doesn’t detract from the story in the slightest.
Kate Kane is a flawed and witty heroine. Her quips had me laughing from the very start of the book straight through to the end. There’s magic, mayhem, and sexy times. With so many different supernatural creatures, one might think it would be too much but the author makes it work superbly. I can’t wait for the next installment in the Kate Kane, Paranormal Investigator series.
This is possibly my favorite book of the year. I wanted to give copies away but realized it’s not even out until December!
July 28, 2014
The review contains mild spoilers (sorry about that)
“Big bad faery shit lord killed your boyfriend and captured your vampire granny. A bunch of us are getting together to fuck it up. Do you want in?”
“Flats or heels?”
First and foremost – this book is FUN. It made me chuckle, laugh and is the reason for several coffee stains on a very nice white T-shirt of mine.
I am a fan of kick-arse anti heroines so … what’s not to love about Kate Kane?
She is a (mostly) mortal paranormal PI with trust issues and is recklessly fearless in risky and life threatening situations.
She drinks, smokes and swears a lot and lives on fast food and bananas.
She is witty, sarcastic and a flirt and had managed to make more than one dangerous enemy in the past.
But in no way Kate is to be underestimated especially when she summons the powers of her mother - the bloodthirsty faery queen.
“In the Deepwild, my mother licked blood from her fingers and smiled mockingly.”
In addition, there is an array of entertaining supporting characters (most of which female, yay!). My personal favourites – Ashriel (a celibate demon) and Elise (an animated statue) – their banter with Kate is hilarious.
“I need somewhere to stick a sword.”
“Received wisdom suggests that the pointy end should go in the other man.”
“Before that.”
A number of disgusting creatures crawling from sewers and other gross places are involved but let me tell you, reading about Kate fighting them only adds to the fun.
“Oh no, you don’t,” I wheezed, staggering after him. “Fight me, you immortal tosser.”
The book is packed with action, and while there were some slow moments in the first half, the last 25% stole the show for me.
But what I enjoyed the most were the characters and the dialogue. I was thoroughly entertained by all the winks to Hollywood (and I’m pretty sure there were some that I didn’t catch).
The only thing that I didn’t buy and put me off a little was . But then again, one can expect anything from vampires.
And finally, I have pretty limited (and mostly bad) experience with paranormal romance, but this one put a big smile on my face for many hours.
February 26, 2020
3.5 stars rounding up for enjoyment
Kate Kane is a revised version of Sam Spade for our modern times. She's a private eye living in urban fantasy London and she investigates cases involving vampires, werewolves, the fae, and other otherworldly creatures. The case this time is the murder of a werewolf outside a nightclub, and Kate is asked to look into it by an alluring vampire. She couldn't resist.
This is a paranormal romance with a lesbian character at the center, and there's more focus on the romance than the paranormal. Normally this wouldn't interest me, but Kate is an interesting subject, so I didn't mind following her around even when the investigation took various detours through her sex life.
The writing style is hardboiled and done very well, and I say that as someone who's not a fan of hardboiled mysteries. But since I had heard lots of good things about the author, Alexis Hall, there were some expectations. Fortunately, they were met.
Since hardboiled is not my preferred genre, the writing was a little hard to get into at the beginning. I didn't really get into the rhythm of the narrative or Kate's voice until more than half the book was over, but by the end, it was an enjoyable read. A little too romance-heavy at times, but not a big deal.
What is a big deal is Alexis Hall not continuing this series. I think there's a good thing here, and I was hoping there would be more. Oh well.
What stood out the most to me is the queer female detective angle, which I don't see much in urban fantasy or mysteries in general, and I appreciate the work the author put into this character to make her seem real and not another tough-acting, hardboiled caricature.
Kate Kane is a revised version of Sam Spade for our modern times. She's a private eye living in urban fantasy London and she investigates cases involving vampires, werewolves, the fae, and other otherworldly creatures. The case this time is the murder of a werewolf outside a nightclub, and Kate is asked to look into it by an alluring vampire. She couldn't resist.
This is a paranormal romance with a lesbian character at the center, and there's more focus on the romance than the paranormal. Normally this wouldn't interest me, but Kate is an interesting subject, so I didn't mind following her around even when the investigation took various detours through her sex life.
The writing style is hardboiled and done very well, and I say that as someone who's not a fan of hardboiled mysteries. But since I had heard lots of good things about the author, Alexis Hall, there were some expectations. Fortunately, they were met.
Since hardboiled is not my preferred genre, the writing was a little hard to get into at the beginning. I didn't really get into the rhythm of the narrative or Kate's voice until more than half the book was over, but by the end, it was an enjoyable read. A little too romance-heavy at times, but not a big deal.
What is a big deal is Alexis Hall not continuing this series. I think there's a good thing here, and I was hoping there would be more. Oh well.
What stood out the most to me is the queer female detective angle, which I don't see much in urban fantasy or mysteries in general, and I appreciate the work the author put into this character to make her seem real and not another tough-acting, hardboiled caricature.
October 21, 2015
First of all I have to state that I am very well intentioned towards Mr Hall, he gave me Glitterland.
With Iron and Velvet, he shows the he is capable of versatility. Writing, style, subject matter are all different.
This is a tongue in cheek romp into noirhood with a lot of fantastical creatures thrown in for good measure. A Sam Spaderish spoof with a female Sam.
Underneath all that jazz, there is Kate. I guess this series will take us on a journey to know Kate. For the moment what do we know about Kate. She is lonely, sad at the loss of her ex, angry and hurt at the rejection of her mother (the dumpling comment was hilarious and sad at the same time).
I do not know where the relationship with Julian will end up, I do not feel the connection.
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