Insignificant Others

by Stephen McCauley

What do you do when you discover your spouse has an insignificant other? How about when you realize your own insignificant other is becoming more significant than your spouse? There are no easy answers to these questions, but Stephen McCauley—"the master of the modern comedy of manners" ( USA Today )—makes exploring them a literary delight. Richard Rossi works in HR at a touchy-feely software company and prides himself on his understanding of the foibles and fictions we all use to get through the day. Too bad he’s not as good at spotting such behavior in himself. What else could explain his passionate affair with Benjamin, a very unavailable married man? Richard suggests birthday presents for Benjamin’s wife and vacation plans for his kids, meets him for "lunch" at a sublet apartment, and would never think about calling him after business hours. "In the three years I’d known Benjamin, I’d come to think of him as my husband . He was, after all, a husband, and I saw it as my responsibility to protect his marriage from a barrage of outside threats and bad influences. It was the only way I could justify sleeping with him." Since Richard is not entirely available himself—there’s Conrad, his adorable if maddening partner to contend with—it all seems perfect. But when cosmopolitan Conrad starts spending a suspicious amount of time in Ohio, and economic uncertainty challenges Richard’s chances for promotion, he realizes his priorities might be a little skewed. With a cast of sharply drawn friends, frenemies, colleagues, and personal trainers, Insignificant Others is classic McCauley—a hilarious and ultimately haunting social satire about life in the United States at the bitter end of the boom years, when clinging to significant people and pursuits has never been more important—if only one could figure out what they are.

Genres: Fiction, LGBT, Gay, Romance, Humor, Modern, Literary Fiction

243 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

Reviews

[Nicholas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always really liked Stephen McCauley's novels, though of late he has been featuring a few too many sad-sack gay men who tend to be a little depressing. No longer! Richard Rossi, the protagonist of Insignificant Others, may be stuck in a rut, but he's definitely not sad.

McCauley is seriously funny; he always has been. The only thing that sometimes gets hard to fathom is that a character this screwed up could possibly be self-aware enough to be so funny about his pathologies and bad choices and idiosyncrasies. But in McCauley's hands you don't really care because his observations are so remarkably astute and clever and often just universally true, that you're willing to forgive a number of implausibilities. More so as well when you realize that McCauley -- though he brings you back to ground by the end -- is well aware how implausible some of the plot is. But it is through those particularly preposterous moments that he makes such delicious fun of the world and those who people it.

[iam · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I'm unsure what to make of this book. It was both depressing and refreshing, or maybe depressingly refreshing or refreshingly depressive.

I think part of it was because of Richard, the protagonist. He's gay, in his fifties, loves classic literature, studied psychology but works in HR for a software company, and he just found out that his partner of eight years is cheating on him.
Naturally, the first person he tells is the man with who he's cheating on his partner.

I couldn't decided if Richard is an asshole or not, but ultimately I liked him and sympathized with him a LOT more than I expected. Even the way he, as someone my parents' age, talks about people from my generation was funny and made me laugh rather than roll my eyes (and I sure did feel called out when he talked about the socially awkward younger software developers in his company - but in a good way.)
Even the one chapter titled "Feminism", which I expected to be a mysoginistic distaster at worst and making me roll my eyes at best, was nothing remotely bad at all.

Talking about chapters: The way they work in this book was a bit confusing. A "chapter" in Insignificant Others is somewhere between half a page and four pages long, and often seems to give a new title to the next paragraph rather than indicate a break in the story or open up a new arc - it threw me off a bit.

I wouldn't really call this book a comedy, but it is funny at parts and has some incredibly insightful lines. It was interesting to read and just engaging enough to keep me entertained.

I especially enjoyed the relationship between Richard and Doreen and how they developed a lot over the course of the story.
The plot overall felt a bit inconsistent and aimless, with no real satisfying conclusion to any of the threads. There was one event that has been built up in several chapters which I was really looking forward to that was forgotten in the end. I really wanted to see Nicholas visit Richard :(
The ending, while overall a good choice for the book, left a bad taste in my mouth due to one specific thing that I feel should have been left out. Ben hitting his son is even mentioned to be out of character by the protagonist, and while I sort of understood the situation it just really made the book end of a bad note. The entire fallout would have had the same impact and repercussions even if he hadn't hit Tyler, so it felt senseless and cruel to me.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

Richard Rossi’s world – up until now a pleasant and safe place to be – is beginning to collapse around him. A gay man, he is ensconced in a Beacon Hill, Boston, apartment with his partner Conrad – a younger, handsome stud. Yes – truly a stud. Richard has just discovered that Conrad has an insignificant other whom he sees on frequent “business” trips to Ohio. In addition, the year is 2006 and “W” is the president, so Richard also has to witness the crumbling of the economy and (at least in Richard’s opinion) of his country’s values. There are also troubles at work that enmesh Richard in the beating of one colleague by another. In addition, his best friend is about to undergo a major operation and his own insignificant other is wrestling with his problems in the closet.

McCauley has written a novel snarky enough to make the reader laugh out loud and with enough truth to allow him to sympathize with his central character. Not a bad book – just not a great one.

Grade: B/B+

[Joe Scholes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Insignificant Others is the first novel I’ve read by Stephen McCauley. It is a well written novel that is a “slice of life” story about a gay man in his 50s forced to evaluate his investment in his most important relationships. There’s no great epiphany in his self-examination, but rather a slow dawning of understanding as he realizes the people in his life that he classifies as insignificant others turn out to be some of his most pivotal relationships. This is an interesting novel with just the right mix of humor, offbeat characters, and important, but not sullen, introspection.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This, like all McCauley's stories, is readily accessible; a guilty pleasure in the vein of "chick lit." Wading through the plodding, detailed back story about each character is exhausting though. Better when the details about characters emerge organically from the tale. Much more elegant.
I wound up quite liking, Richard, the main character, despite his snarky, jaded perspective on many things. And I also appreciated the nice, somewhat unexpected evolution of his relationship with Doreen, his SO's fag hag and business partner. The SO character, Conrad, though, was so poorly developed. How could that relationship not fail?

[Suzanne Macartney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Has the trademark humor I've come to depend on from this author. Wry, spot on observations seemingly pulled from someone's actual life. This one is a touch more solemn than earlier stories, consistent with its older protagonist. But it's also crisply honest and thoughtful so a fine trade-off. Nothing could really match the fun & frivolity of The Easy Way Out. (Though I'm always hopeful!) Solid and satisfying.

[Dan C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I haven't read any Stephen McCauley in a long time. The only other book of his that I've read is The Object of My Affection. I read it after I saw the movie starring Jennifer Aniston and the always-great and guy-I-wish-I-were Paul Rudd. The movie version was a cute little romantic comedy with just the right amount of bittersweet infused. Just thinking about it makes me want to watch it again. The book was another animal altogether. It is a well written book and certainly worth the read, but I was in no way prepared for the incredible melancholy that inhabited the book. Even for someone like me who is ok with melancholy and bittersweet, it was too much and mostly made me depressed. But I saw his latest novel, Insignificant Others, on Amazon and thought that I'd give it a whirl. Surely, it couldn't be as depressing as The Object of My Affection was.

Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong.

The plot of the book revolves around two coupled gay men, Richard and Conrad and their "insignificant others." Richard, the narrator of the story, is a 50+ man that is obsessed with fitness and oddly matched with the narcissistic and moderately younger Conrad. In the book's first chapter, Richard discovers a text message to Conrad from someone with an Ohio area code. Conrad, whose business requires him to travel quite frequently, has been making more and more trips to Columbus, OH. The arrangement of their relationship allows for dalliances, but they are never allowed to become anything that would threaten the main relationship. As it turns out, this Columbus rendezvous of Conrad's is just that.

Not that Richard is blameless, sitting in the middle of the room with a halo over his head. He has an insignificant other as well in the form of closeted married guy Ben. They meet for "long lunches" every now and then at a leased apartment that Richard has close to his work. The trouble is that, despite his assertion that Ben is an insignificant other, now he's beginning to wonder.

I made a big deal to Heidi about how this book was sad and yes, it really was. I was really caught up in the story and the characters but I couldn't shake the feeling of despair that hung over them as well. All the relationships seemed so unsustainable. They were fraught with all the problems that go along with intimate relationships and then complicated by the insignificant others. Richard was also an eternal pessimist, always able to find the flaws in everything. He assuaged this part of himself by keeping an "at least..." list i.e. "at least I'm not doing this...or that..." He had a lot of wry observations in life that were depressing but also rang at least slightly true. Although perhaps the only reason they rang true was because I was stuck in Richard's head which wasn't always the best place to be.

The character for whom I felt the most empathy was Ben, the closeted married man that Richard was having an affair with. This is impressive because how can someone whose life is basically one big deception of those he claims to love - his wife, his children - be sympathetic? He's basically a shithead for doing this, right? Well, I don't think it's quite as simple as that. No one knows him completely - not his friends, not his family, not even Richard (although he probably comes closest.) Basically, his life is a well-constructed lie built on sinking sand. By compartmentalizing himself so much, he's living as less than a whole person and living like that will eventually catch up with you. It's this kind of thing that I mean when I talk about how we're the sum of all of our parts, even the parts we don't like. Yes, he's a shithead for lying to his wife and deceiving her all these years, but the way his character is drawn in the book, you really can understand why and you end up really feeling for him.

The book wrapped up tidily at the end after I had been afraid there would be no resolution at all, especially the Richard/Ben relationship. Ultimately, this book was less than adept at balancing bittersweet with just plain bitter and for that reason it loses points with me. I was still very engaged in the book and the characters even though most of them were not very redeemable, but I was kind of glad when it was over. I'm not sure I could have taken any more melodrama.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having never read a book by Stephen McCauley before, I gave this title a chance when I happened across it. I found it to be an enjoyable, easy, and at times very insightful read.
"Insignificant Others" features a protagonist, Richard Rossi, who is a witty narrator who often speaks in a manner that reeks of Oscar Wilde. The novel starts out quick and engaging, but after the first 100 pages it lost a little of its shine for me. Still enjoyable to read, just not as much as it had been at the beginning of the text.
Some readers may get a little aggravated at the numerous characters in the book that have names beginning with the letter B. There is a Ben, Billy, Brandon, etc. and although it is a minor quibble it can cause some unneeded confusion for the reader. Another annoying factor for me was the narrator's smug political opinions. I realize that the author was giving the character this trait purposefully but it gets to be a bit much, especially if you don't agree with his political opinions. However, it does serve a purpose in the story because Richard Rossi throws himself into political diatribes to avoid real life issues.
Some people have said that the novel has too many characters, most of them very underdeveloped. I would agree that this is true, but I think it mimics most of the relationships we have in our lives with casual acquaintances, coworkers, buddies at the gym, etc. In our day to day lives those people fit in one specific category and we don't see them outside of that box. It is a nice touch in the text, but I understand that it can frustrate the reader.
The novel also has some lovely strong suits, for instance a very intense and awkward dinner scene that Richard and his partner share with friends is a highlight of the book. I also especially enjoyed the character of Doreen. She was fun to get to know and McCauley imbued her with a very distinct dry voice that was nothing short of delightful to read.
I do admit that the ending of "Insignificant Others" is too convenient and maybe even a tad hokey. However, the last 30 pages have some great lines / observations about human nature that even when taken out of the context of the novel are really quite good. The book ends on a high note in that sense. This text is quick and fun and it has some really great moments that compensate for the bad ones. As far as reads go, I can't complain.

[Joanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Conrad's eager friend lived in Columbus. I'd been to Columbus a number of times and had nothing against the city, but knowing Conrad's limpid snobbery; I knew someone from there was not a threat the way a paramour from New York or Los Angeles would have been." This sentence, which appears on the fourth page of Stephen McCauley's novel, is what made me laugh out loud and drew me into buying the book.

What a true delight to find that, in addition to being a reflection on fidelity and desire and the state of human isolation in the world, it is also an absolutely delightful comedy of manners.

The writing is sharp, the wit is biting, and the narrator is a muddled middle-aged gay man trying to come to terms with the life he has made for himself in the waning days of the American empire.

The characters are written as exceedingly real people, with surprising depth and clarity. All the relationships in the book are convincing and layered and deeply moving.

The ending is perhaps a smidge too neat, but I like it better than I would have a variety of other choices the author could have made. It feels unexpected - like a Jane Austen novel declining to end with a jubillant wedding scene. But that is, perhaps, it's main strength. It truimphs in subversion of the very trope that it masters.

[Jack · Rating 3 out of 5]

An almost alarmingly direct portrait of a thoroughly modern gay relationship, in which there is still evident emotional bond, and even powerful sexual attraction - but then there is The Drift. Monogamy is no longer entirely as necessary as perhaps before. Both partners in this book are drifting into affairs which threaten to turn serious - or perhaps already have.

The narrator, fighting valiantly and with increasing futility against the realities of middle age, channels his anger at his lover's affair into caustic comments at home, angry outbursts at work, and a violent sexual dalliance which has its own powerful emotional bonds. It reads as powerful and true, if a bit raw - again, not much for the straight reader willing to see relationships filtered through a distinctly urban gay prism. Even as a long-married gay man, I found the putative hero more than a bit off-putting. He's no one I would want as a friend, our ages and other generational similarities notwithstanding.

McCauley's honesty wins him plaudits, even if his directness may put off readers both gay and straight.

[Diego Gomez · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first thought that came to my head when I first laid eyes on the cover of this book was: gay. The second: I MUST READ IT! Written by Stephen McCauley, author of acclaimed novel The Object of My Affection, this satirically delicious novel of love and lust (and everything in between) does not disappoint.

Richard Rossi is your average successful, exercise-aholic, fifty-year-old gay man. He has got it ALL figured out. As long as he is faithful in his infidelity to his long-term partner, Conrad, with his "insignificant other" Benjamin, all shall be a-ok. Did that make sense to you? No? Well, to Richard it makes sense. Or does it?

When Richard learns that Conrad has an "insignificant other" on the side as well, his whole concept of "unspoken agreement" is challenged. And what he initially believes to be non-threatening behavior on Conrad's part soon begins to alter his perception of the world around him, but most importantly, begins to alter his perception of himself.

Insignificant Others is a must-read if you enjoy a good chuckle page after page.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oft times a frustrating narrative by character Richard Rossi who is surrounded in his life by people he assesses and tries to aid, while at the same time not listening to his own advice. But maybe that is the point of the tale. We wear blinders and think we know best. The best thing about INSIGNIFICANT OTHERS is the day to day telling by the main character of his life at work, at leisure, and his love life; it all is told with ease and funny lines and observations. McCauley can truly weave a humorous sentence. And the many characters that Rossi encounters in his Life appear not very appealing, but live under partial masks that can reveal a deeper identity. The point, maybe, is that those we consider insignificant turn out to be the most significant or, at least, teach us something about ourselves and that we will never forget or alter our perception OF ourselves. Our lives are full of people we hold too close and those we should hold closer, but never will. Pay heed to the supporting characters in this book and your own life. They can further the 'plot'.

[Vestal McIntyre]

Here's a good old-fashioned comedy, well-wrought and absolutely charming. I laughed out loud many times. McCauley maintains great balance in his writing — between the bitchy and the tender, the light and the dark, the heart and (if I may wax literary) the spleen. Richard, our narrator, keeps endless “At Least Lists” (I might be going gray, but at least I still have hair) -- an idea so funny and true that I wished I had thought of it myself.

It struck me as I read this how rare it is to find a novel that this novel is 100% unapologetically focused on a gay protagonist living a regular contemporary gay life. Richard is a very real-feeling guy (he works in human resources, for Christ’s sake) dealing with the real ambivalences that most of us feel but most of us forget to write about: how and whom to love, whether to lie, whether to embrace our family or keep them at arm’s length, whether we’re going to the gym too much or not enough.

[Tress · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK, I know I'm a little biased here. I was so excited to even find this new book of McCauley's in the "new fiction" section of my library. It has been a few years since he's put out a new book, but his style has only improved with time. Honest and insightful and really made me laugh out loud at times. McCauley's novels perfectly fill a space in modern fiction that addresses the love experiences of homosexual men, and makes it apparent that they are fraught with all the same neuroses, flaws, tender thoughts, betrayals, and realizations as heterosexual relationships.

Plus I just love his humor. So to the point and thoughtful and hilarious.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

rare foray into fiction for me. Narrated by a middle-aged gay man living in Boston and working in Human Resources, living with a man who's cheating on him, but also cheating himself with a bisexual guy who's married to a woman. Some fairly funny side characters such as his personal trainer. Not heavy on plot or scenery--most of the action is just office politics or snappy dialogue about relationships. Ideas about fidelity, honesty, aging play out in straightforward manner. I doubt it will be considered a classic or assigned in college English classes, but it was a quick and entertaining read.

[Hazy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice, pleasant comic novel about gay men and infidelity.

The protagonist, a former psychologist now trying to climb the corporate ladder, has a tendency to silently psychoanalyze everybody he meets to an absurd degree, not realizing that his colleagues and friends can read him like an open book.

Finished in two days. My only complaint is that the book feels a bit random. There are no 'chapters', so to speak, more like scenes that, while related, seem to come up in a free-form manner. Not a bad thing to me, really, as it was engaging and funny.

Otherwise, a nice novel about a well-developed gay character. Pretty solid.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't really like the characters all that much (especially Brandon), but McCauley writes so damned well I had trouble putting the book down! The ending was a bit abupt (tacked on/rushed), and I'm not sure fully confident I got what happened, but maybe that was just me?

Quibble: The book covers shows a pair of side-by-side neckties, and there's a mention of the tie Richard is wearing at the end of a workday. However, his workplace seems like one of the most casual ones I've run across. Odd ...

[Christopher Castellani · Rating 5 out of 5]

McCauley is a master of this form, and there is no wittier writer at work today. Every single page of this book is delightful and rings utterly true. This is a deceptively smart book that sneaks up on you with its investigations of relationships and human nature and the ways we navigate our own senses of right and wrong, especially when it comes to love. McCauley makes it look easy, but the kind of humor and insight he demonstrates in this book are the absolute most difficult things to do in fiction.

[Aaron Ambrose · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read a really good book by McCauley last year, which inspired me to hunt down his other books, which just aren’t as good. This one was easy to read, but the characters are so blithely self-centered it turned into a bit of a grudge-reading experience. I really disliked the narrator, and that’s not necessarily an obstacle, except that it was one faux, self-induced worry after another, all of which resolved with no real import. Well written, but so pat. I think I’m done now.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

He's a great writer but this book lacks the gravitas he appears capable of producing. The story was anemic. No climax, no nothing. He's great at writing about human inclinations and tendencies, which I'm a big fan of but I wish it was kicked up a notch. Basically, just a commentary on the nature of cheating partners.

[Wendell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Insignificant Others is an insignificant novel that reminds me -- though it appeared in 2010 -- of the early days of modern gay publishing (i.e, the late '70s) at which point an author could write just about anything with nonsuicidal, uncloseted gay characters in it and get it published. That's how hungry we were. Here, the humor is forced and occasionally juvenile, with a few tried-and-true groaners trotted out as though we'd never read or heard the same Seinfeld-esque observations a score of times. The characters are shallow, bitchy, and indirect, and the dialogue very rarely rises above repartee. Everything is in scare quotes. To be droll is the quintessence of social interaction. The reader never fully understands what's wrong in the relationship of the two men (the book's main conceit), nor why everything ultimately "works out" in some exhausted, blasé version of "you live and learn." In fact, the ending is so rushed and unrealized that you'd be forgiven if you missed a step or two. McCauley was apparently aiming for that '80s-ish, ne0-verité, "warts and all" style in which the height of gay literature was to depict gay men as "flawed" and "human" but which really just turned them into a different kind of stereotype: bored, rich, white, brittle, pampered, over-consuming, underaware Manhattanite urban professionals (here transplanted to Boston) whose self-absorption is so utter that the outside world barely has an opportunity to register. Gay couples like this -- gay men like this -- belong in a museum, a sideshow, a Christopher Street magazine coffee table cartoon book. Be grateful the world has moved on.

[Neet · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a big Stephen McCaughley fan and this has to be one of my favorite books since Object Of My Affections.The MC in this novel is fifty-something Richard Rossi, extreme exercise buff who works in the HR Department for a small software company. Richard tries to be there for his friends and constantly gives advice to them . He finds himself making lists (in his head) of the things he's done right and wrong in his life. Richard lives with Conrad an almost 40 man who is in the interior decorator in businesses with a friend. Richard also has an insignificant other ( who doesn't seem to fit that term) named Benjamin. The two men have been seeing each other in an apartment Richard pays from a subletting college student. Richard and Benjamin have been having this relationship for 3 years. Benjamin is a very closeted married man with a family he love and desperately wants to hold on to. Richard also has a sister who he is somewhat estranged from. From the things that are going on at work, in his personal life, and his relationship Richard has a lot going on. Also, Conrad has a few surprises. This is such a good read .There are many questions left at the end. I would love for Mr McCaughley to write a sequel. Highly recommended!

[Lira · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author does character descriptions exceptionally well. The premise is a mundane one -- two partnered men are having discreet affairs with their "insignificant others". What kept me going was voice, and also, the narrator's gaps in self-awareness were funny and profound.

I'm taking off 1 star off the white gaze though...the author names the races of the two non-white characters and makes the importance of their racialization extremely clear...without examining the importance of the white racialization of every other character. I will always take off at least one star for this sort of thing!

Still, I felt like I learned what extremely strong characterization does for a novel from reading this book. So...it gets 4 stars from me.

[Patrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

There may not be another writer out there who captures the wry, appraising, self effacing, judgmental, and ultimately optimistic outlook on the world that I associate with being a grownup. It’s spooky how familiar I feel reading him, as if these were books I read growing up and adopted their tone and personality as my own—but they’re not! I found them later in life.

This one, set in the late bush year hangover, is maybe more caustic than his earlier works. I admire the way he lets the national mood and cultural references seep into his writing. I wish there were a dozen more out there to keep me company.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another genius McCauley novel. So many witty insightful lines.

It starts off with this dryly humorous observation.

"When I learned that Conrad, my partner of eight years, was seeing someone on the side, I wasn't completely surprised. A couple of years earlier, I'd noticed that the word 'monogamy' had fallen out of our vocabulary, and I assumed he had as many reasons for no longer using it as I did."

So much fun to read....

[Ray Quirolgico · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an interesting novel that turns the basic plot of an extramarital affair on its head by complicating the narrative as a consensually known extramarital web of relationships that then compete for emotional attention. I felt the narrative ebbed and flowed in its tantalizing moments and less exciting plot developments. But I also appreciated how honestly it treated modern relationships without presenting anything as an easy reality.

[Steven McKay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written, but depressing. A sense of despair runs throughout. Actually quite believable, with traces of hopefulness, but all in all, I had difficulty reading this for more than a few minutes at a time.

That said, there are some wonderful turns of phrase, enough to push this up to three stars.

[Cdubbub · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun, summer read, as all his books are. Way too much exposition and character and setting explanation though. Not sure if all his books have been like that or not. This is the first one where I noticed, in any case But I still had my interest held until the end

[Cherie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A hilarious (but at times, you get a bit frustrated w our narrator) book about a man who discovers his boyfriend is having an affair...he's kind of okay with it, because HE HIMSELF is having an affair....but will it all backfire?

[Carol Trahan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really love Stephen McCauley’s writing for his keen observations on the human condition and his subtle wit. This novel has enjoyable and multi-leveled characters with enough quirkiness to be interesting. I would have given this book 4 stars but for the ending which has left me confused.