A Blue So Dark

by Holly Schindler

Fifteen-year-old Aura Ambrose has been hiding a secret. Her mother, a talented artist and art teacher, is slowly being consumed by schizophrenia, and Aura has been her sole caretaker ever since Aura's dad left them. Convinced that "creative" equals crazy, Aura shuns her own artistic talent. But as her mother sinks deeper into the darkness of mental illness, the hunger for a creative outlet draws Aura toward the depths of her imagination. Just as desperation threatens to swallow her whole, Aura discovers that art, love, and family are profoundly linked—and together may offer an escape from her fears.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Mental Health, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Mental Illness, Teen

277 pages, Paperback

First published May 8, 2010

About the author

Holly Schindler’s work has received starred reviews in Booklist and Publishers Weekly, has won silver and gold medals in ForeWord Reviews Book of the Year and the IPPY Awards, respectively, has been featured on Booklist’s Best First Novels for Youth and School Library Journal’s What’s Hot in YA, and has been a PW Pick of the Week. She can usually be found consuming large quantities of coffee and working on her next book. She can also be found at hollyschindler.com.

Reviews

[Reynje · Rating 3 out of 5]

”Sanity is a sonnet with a strict meter and rhyme scheme – and my mind is free verse.”

The relationship between mental illness and creativity is a subject I find both intriguing and provocative. I think I’ve long been fascinated with the idea of a type of symbiosis existing between them. After all, the concept of the tortured artist has become something of a stock image in our society, and not entirely without basis (see: The Sylvia Plath Effect, for example). It’s a fraught, complicated topic, and essentially the reason I decided to read ‘A Blue So Dark’, despite not having strong positive feelings for Schindler’s second novel, Playing Hurt.

A Blue So Dark examines this purported link through the eyes of fifteen-year-old Aura, whose mother Grace is an artist and has schizophrenia. Yet not only does Aura believe her mother’s artistic urge is connected to her illness, she believes it is also the cause. Aura is convinced that the well of creativity that both she and her mother possess is also where the seed of instability germinates, is nurtured and fed, and will ultimately choke off their hold on reality. Understandably, this misapprehension causes Aura to struggle to accept that she shares her mother’s artistic bent, and to resist any inclination to pursue her talent.

Schindler has created a strong and compelling voice in Aura, it’s hard-edged and blunt and raw. Despite her situation, she’s not an immediately sympathetic character, but she’s interesting. In fact, it’s her slightly repellent exterior with which she masks her fear and tries to hide her mother’s illness that kept me reading and caught up in her story. It was also the major difference between this novel and Playing Hurt – I wasn’t completely uninterested in the main character this time around.

A large part of the plot hinges upon the fact that Aura shoulders the responsibility for her Mother’s care as her mental state deteriorates, and doesn’t confide in anyone except her best friend, who has distractions of her own. It would have been easy for this element of the story to demand too much suspension of belief. Would a fifteen-year-old girl really not tell another adult what was really going on, or ask for help, particularly when her mother’s behaviour becomes dangerous? Fortunately, Schindler handles this part of the story well, using Aura’s relationship with her remarried father and the family backstory to essentially hobble Aura’s ability to confess what’s really happening to her Mother.

”If I break my promises, I’m terrified Mom will snatch her love away, like it was never truly mine to begin with, but a library book that I’m now supposed to return.”

In some ways, it’s a frightening book. Not because of Grace’s schizophrenia, but because of the claustrophobic sense of Aura’s isolation, and the consuming fear that she’s seeing her own future in her mother. Aura believes the answer lies in the excision of art of from their lives, and it’s painful to read about her attempts to destroy this part of herself and her mother.

”I mean, they’re the same, right? Creative and crazy. And it won’t be easy, because it’s the one thing Mom and I love more than other other, that makes us whole – but isn’t that how a druggie feels about her needles? Doesn’t she think it’s the thing that makes her complete? The thing that allows her to function? And if all those people in A.A. and N.A. can walk away from the bottle, the pills, the powder, then Mom and I could way away, too, right?”

Schindler also touches on Grace’s aversion to medication, though without any heavy-handed commentary. Again, this is a difficult, deeply personal issue for many, raising the question of at what cost they want stability. I know that some have felt the ability to function on a daily basis has been bought at the price of some of their creative drive. That others have had to debate where their artistic skill ends and mental illness begins. And it’s never a simple issue. While Schindler doesn’t delve particularly deeply into this area, she does draw attention to the need for those with mental illness and their family members to feel safe and cared for.

Throughout the novel, there is a recurrent theme of family, and Schindler has created three strong, compelling female characters in the Aura, Grace and Nell (Grace’s mother). I liked the fact that the story is not overshadowed by the secondary characters, or by a romantic subplot, but firmly held together by the intertwining relationships and conflicts between the three central women. There’s an image towards the end of the novel of a three-headed mermaid, and it feels like a fitting symbol of their individuality, and also their combined strength as a family unit.

My reasoning for the three stars, as opposed to the four I contemplated giving this book, is that some elements of the story, particularly where it related to Nell and Grace felt a little hastily inserted and convenient. Also, while I liked this book, and much of it resonated with me, it wasn’t quite the profound and intensely thought-provoking experience it might have been.

It is, however, an interesting insight into complex family dynamics, and a teenage girl’s struggle to reconcile her beliefs and face her very real fears.


* * * * *

I liked this so much more than Playing Hurt. Review to come.

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to admit that the one thing that drew me to this novel was the gorgeous cover art, but the thing that kept me reading was the beautiful writing.

This is one of the most impressively written debut novels I've read this year. (And that's saying a lot because I've read a lot of them!) But it wasn't just the writing that was so striking... the characterization, the story... everything! It was... WOW.

Aura's story is definitely one that will stay with you. To watch her struggle so intimately... it was heart-wrenching. This story is so raw and emotional... I'm not exaggerating when I say that it was hard to read at times. It was difficult to watch Aura struggle with her mother they way that she did. The hardest thing was knowing that there were so many 'responsible' adults that should have noticed what Aura was going though. I seriously wanted to slap her dad silly! What's worse is that I think he knew and he just didn't care enough. (GRRR!) So many emotions while reading this novel! Aura's dad wasn't the only character that I had strong emotions about... the characters were so well developed I couldn't help but feel a certain way about each one of them.

The mental illness aspect of this novel... the correlation between creativity and schizophrenia was very intriguing. (You can read more about that in my interview next week with Holly.) There aren't many YA novels that cover mental illness... (another one that sticks out in my mind, Dirty Little Secrets) but this is an exceptional addition to the genre.

This is such an amazing novel... (one that I think has been overlooked!) Add this to your reading piles people! Wow. I wish I could write it a better review.

[jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars.

"Schizophrenics have abnormalities of left or right brain functioning. The left brain )the center of logic seems to be most affected. Which means the right side, the creative side, takes over. And that's why a schizophrenic is like a child playing dress-up, afraid of monsters, living in a world of make-believe."

This book moved me. I'm talking "picked-me-up-and-hurtled-me-across-the-room" moved me. I may very well be biased, as I am studying to be a psychiatric nurse. Mental illness intrigues me to no reachable end, and "A Blue So Dark" was a disturbing, frightening, and honest portrayal of a family shattered by schizophrenia. The illness itself is a formidable character in this beautiful novel.

15-going-on-16 year old Aura had no choice but to grow up prematurely in order to care for her mother, whose mental state has rapidly deteriorated. Aura promised not to force medication upon her brilliant artist mother as a testament to her loyalty to Grace as opposed to her absent father. Aura focuses more on her love and devotion to her mother and rules out the logic of actually getting help for her mother. Unfortunately, schizophrenia cannot be swept under the rug. It will not go away if you ignore it. Aura herself is a bitter, angry girl with so much pent-up aggression stemming from her parents' divorce and the fear that she, too, will eventually become a "schizo."

Aura's whole mentality scared me. She's surrounded with this illness for the last few years of her life, convinced that artistry makes you crazy. The gears in her head are constantly turning, torturing herself and monitoring her every action closely, losing herself to the thought that the day of her functional mental state are numbered. She's lost her father to another family, lost her best friend, Janny, to her son, and lost her mother to schizophrenia. The only beacon of hope in her life is Jeremy, the cute, cryptic skater with whom she shared her mother's art class. The love interest in this story definitely takes a backseat to Aura's struggle with her mother, which I appreciated. It's more realistic that way. Who has time to think about love when your family member can barely stay at home by themself without putting themselves or other in danger?

Schindler definitely did her research on schizophrenia, describing more than just the well-known visions/voices. She also incorporated clang association ("I'm not broker, broking, broke, broke"; "burn, burny, burning) and delusions of persecution ("Look at them up there, smug...Trying to drown me...And they won't let me through") which was impressive. The hallucinations themselves ranged from terrifying to kind of comical, e.g. Aura writing a letter from a pepperoni on a pizza in order to convince her mom to go grocery shopping. I didn't want to skim the block paragraphs, like in some novels, because I feared I would miss some earth-shattering, beautiful phrase that would enlighten or terrify me.

Sanity is a sonnet with a strict metter and rhyme scheme--and my mind is free verse."

Incredible.

Schindler's prose is gorgeous. Everything flowed so beautifully, despite this being a difficult subject to read. I do highly recommend this novel, though keep in mind that it is neither light-hearted nor romance driven. It is powerful and disturbing. The ending was completely satisfying as well.

God, I loved this book.

[Ksenia (vaenn) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Blue So Dark після першого ж прочитання прямою наводкою потрапляє до переліку найстрашніших книжок з мого читацького досвіду. Ніби нічого такого - міцно збита підліткова історія про непросту дівчинку та її ще непростішу родину. Але поза проблемами з навчанням, сварками з найліпшою подружайкою, несприйняттям нової родини батька та флюїдами першої закоханості, тут на перший план виходить божевілля. Виходить, спокійно озирає свої маєтки і лишається назавжди.

Мама Аури Амброз має шизофренію. На цьому, в принципі, все. Після того, як з їхньої маленької сім'ї пішов батько (/сарказм мод он/ має ж людина право нарешті пожити для себе /мод офф/), дівчинка пообіцяла мамі, що ніколи-ніколи-ніколи не змусить ковтати ту таблетки, як оце Той робив. І з усіх сил дотримувалася обіцянки. Зривалася за першим дзвінком зі школи, вмовляла поїсти, ходила з Ґрейс на роботу, щоби там чогось не вийшло, і відганяла демонів. Але серед них є такі, що їх не проженеш.

Отака от мила підліткова книжечка. Про невиліковну хворобу, про махрову співзалежність і про глибокий непеможний жах. Дід Аури - шизофреник і письменник, вкоротив собі віку, мама Аури -шизофренічка і художниця - на очах в читачів зіковзує дуже далеко від адекватності, Аура малює, пише вірші і впевнена, що творчі здібності - це просто побічний ефект спадкового безуму, що чекає на неї. І це направду дуже страшна книжка. Бо про страшне і по-страшному. Бо /дробовик мод он/ ніколи й ні_за_що дитина не має лишатися на одинці з оцим.

[Sesana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that I read in gulps, reading great big chunks, but being almost relieved to step away. There's a very real sense of hopelessness, and Schindler is a good enough writer that it's catching.

On the surface, the idea that Aura is sole caretaker of her schizophrenic mother sounds a little farfetched. But Schindler has built a very plausible scenario: Aura's father is no help, because he's checked out of her life. Aura's mother is estranged from her family. Aura's teachers don't really notice her. She has one friend, a teen mom who has her own problems. It's so easy to believe that Aura would slip between the cracks. And so easy to believe that Aura would abide by her promise to her mother: no doctors, no pills. She has so few good relationships in her life that I had no problem believing she'd be afraid of losing her relationship with her mother.

At the same time, she's struggling with her own creative and artistic impulses. She's drawn the conclusion that her mother's schizophrenia, and her grandfather's mental illness, is connected with their shared creativity. Which makes her own artistic impulses dangerous, in her mind. Admittedly, it isn't the most logical of assumptions. But for a stressed teenager, burdened with way more than she should be, looking for any sort of charm to keep herself whole? Yes, I very much believed she would think it. It's one of the things that makes this book so painful to read at times.

There's an epilogue at the end of the book, and I appreciate that, though it's hopeful, it isn't a happily ever after. There's progress made, but it's definitely just one stop on the road. A truly cheerful ending would feel cheap and false after what came before.

I borrowed a Kindle ebook version from my local library, and I have to say that there were tons of errors. A lot of dropped punctuation, especially hyphens and spaces (so in a sentence about a camera, "Nikon- not" became "Nikonnot") and letters turned into other letters (a J into a D) or numbers (A into 4). At times, it could make reading a little tricky, so think twice before you get the ebook.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

What do I have to say about A Blue So Dark? The cover design is beautiful; its what made me buy the book to begin with. It matches the story, with the color of the water and detail of the title, perfectly. The title also drew me in. It sounded interesting and, obviously, dark. It is written almost lyrically, and I especially loved Aura's poems.
Now for the story. Aura Ambrose has been caring for her schizophrenic mother ever since her father left them a few years ago. The story begins with her remembering an important event in her life from before her mother was diagnosed. You learn right away that Aura's mother is not normal and that Aura, as the only one caring for her, is hiding it from everyone else. As expressed in the description, both characters are artistic, but while Aura hides it, her mother does the opposite. Her artistic ability causes her to meet Jessie, her crush, in an art class. Near the beginning Jessie and Aura talk, and you realize, even though its hidden, that there is something between them.
Holly Schindler wrote her characters very well. Aura's father was portrayed exactly right. You know from Aura that he just doesn't care enough to to help, and when you meet him, you know its true. And, while I have no experience with mental disorders, her mother seemed to fit the part exactly. Her actions didn't seem over the top or exaggerated, just how you would expect some who hallucinates to act. The only character who bothered me was Aura's best friend, Janny. I understand that she is busy and stressed by her own problems, but she seemed just flat-out rude and inpatient, making her an unlikable character.
A Blue So Dark is pretty unique considering its topic. I think a lot of girls can relate to Aura, minus having a schizophrenic mother. I know I (and my friend who also read the book) did. Its a story that stays with you long after you finish reading it, but I just didn't click with it.

[al borland · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't like to give up on books, especially when I have gotten through worse than this.But it's come time to let this one go.

My expectations for this book were really, unfairly high. I stumbled across in on Goodreads while at work, started to read it as soon as I got home that day and it just wasn't magic for me. I've had this story in my head for a while now, about a young girl living the southern states and her mother is diagnosed with schizophrenia so when I read this summary, it was like I needed to read it immediately. I was interested in the portrayal of the illness and how relatives and friends would cope with it. I was appalled with the Dad right off the bat, I can't believe in abandonment like that.

And while the story was depressing, it's not the subject matter that killed it for me, it was the writing. I wasn't really digging it from the beginning, but the author lost me completely when only a few pages in she relied on using 'retarded' as a negative connotation. Sure, kids talk like that all the time and the word isn't offensive when used correctly. But in this book about a girl who's struggling with her mother's mental illness, you'd think the use of the word would be deemed unnecessary and avoided completely. Every word counts, and there were so many more appropriate ones she could have gone with. It was those eight little letters that I think put me in a bad place for the duration of my attempt to read this.

I will undoubtedly try again. I've read great things about this book so I'll give it a second shot eventually.

[Allie Kasprzak · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very interesting and made schizophrenia easier to understand. It helped me to better understand this disease, and what it can do to a person suffering from it. I enjoyed how the book came together at the end and explained everything that had happened and wrapped itself up. It was a very good book and I recommend it to people who want to better understand aspects of mental illness.

[Debasmita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t know how I am supposed to start writing a review for this book...to describe it in one word,I would say ‘WOW’!

To say ‘I loved A Blue So Dark’ would certainly be an understatement! Holly Schindler did a swell job on the book. From providing knowledge about schizophrenia to rooting the reader’s interest in the book from the very first page,Holly has been impeccable! From the synopsis itself,I was aware that A Blue So Dark is a different kind of book-a kind of book I am not used to reading or to be more precise,not used to liking. But Holly proved me so wrong. I not only liked it,but loved it! I can now undoubtedly say that A Blue So Dark is one of my all time favorites!
Aura(such a beautiful name) was a very loveable and relatable character. My heart went out to Aura(and her mother) as she tried single handedly to nurse her mother back to health with her love alone. Her father has long abandoned them and has moved on with a younger and prettier wife and now,even refuses to help Aura when her mother lapses into one of her ‘episodes’. Aura tries to juggle school,her mother,friend and crush at the same time but in vain. She at last has to break her promise to her mother and get her admitted into a mental hospital,something which she had sincerely avoided for a very long time. To be true,almost felt like shaking Aura and infusing some sense in her. She should have got her mother admitted to the hospital a long time ago. But her love for her mother and fear that she would be taken away from her(also her promise to her mother) kept her from doing so. But isn’t that how teenagers behave? Aura’s conflict between her passion for art and fear of it was also extremely touching. Though on one hand I felt a little tired of Aura’s lack of perspective,on the other hand I wanted to hug her and tell her that it will be all right. She was such a strong girl,a very courageous one,one a reader can’t help but admire.

The ‘episodes’ Grace lapses in gave me goosebumps. I really found myself with Aura in her efforts to reason with her mother and take care of her. The episodes were so vividly described,they were almost spooky!

Another thing I adored about the book was Aura’s poems. Her poems felt like a plunge into the depths of Aura’s emotions. The poems,beautifully written,gave me a deep insight into Aura’s every feeling and fear.

The book also deals with the issue of teenage pregnancy and the cons of it through the character of Aura’s best friend. Holly Schindler has been unique in the topics she choose to discuss in the book through the medium of YA. Her contribution to YA is huge. She is an awesome author!
Holly Schindler’s writing is beautiful,lyrical,poetic and almost magical. The strikingly beautiful writing was in sharp contrast for me to the mental illness the book proposed to discuss-and that is one thing I admire about this book. The way Holly has juxtaposed the much feared mental illness with her lyrical prose struck me as very interesting.

A Blue So Dark is a must read for everyone! I love this book! One of the best books I have read till date! You just can NOT miss out on this absolutely stunning book!

[Melissa Chung · Rating 4 out of 5]

Giving this book 3.5 stars. I have read a lot of mental illness books this summer and I can say confidently that this was the most raw of them all.

Last month I read Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman. In that book you dive into the psyche of a teen slowly losing reality. It is heartbreaking to witness the slow decline of what is real and what is fiction.

A Blue So Dark, was so much more then just watching the timeline of schizophrenia. As the reader you felt the raw emotion of the past, the present and the future of what it looks like to the family. What damage occurs during the mental breakdown. The aftermath. The emotional turmoil the family goes through. It's even more soul crushing because this story is told by a kid.

Aura is 15 and living with a mother with schizophrenia. She has been taking care of her mother solo for the last 3 years. The fear that her mom could literally go 'crazy' any minute keeps Aura up at night. Her father has left and started a new family. He has washed his hands of the situation. Aura's best friend is a new teen mom with her hands full. Who can she turn to? She makes promises to her mother. No pills. No drugs. No doctors. No dad. No grandma. NEVER. Don't let anyone see. We are fine. I can fix this. Everything will be okay.

But one day it's not okay. Neither is the next. Or the next. It's starting to spiral out of control and Aura is losing it. She is scared. She doesn't know what to do. How to help.

I was so scared for Aura the whole time. Her fear, isolation and hopelessness is so easy to understand. I don't know how I would cope in her situation. It was just so real. So sad.

Aura is a fighter even though she wanted to give up hundreds of times. "Recovery from schizophrenia is an oxymoron. You don't get over being schizo like you get over a cold... But you and your caregivers can work together to monitor your condition and even come up with a plan of action should your symptoms come roaring back..."

I really enjoyed this book. I liked the realistic take of this kind of nightmare. I liked that nothing was sugar coated. It wasn't romanticized. It was up close and in your face. I liked that Aura dealt with these issues like a real teen would. Confused and scared. She wasn't glorified for her actions. She did what she had to do.

The things I didn't like was the "love interest" it just felt weird. The ending seemed sweet, but again it was just weird. I also didn't like when Aura would say "you know?" It just seemed out of place. I know it's her story, but I don't want her talking to me directly. I'm probably being a weirdo about that teehee. I also hated that she never really told her dad anything. I mean her dad seems like a selfish moron. The step-mom is even worse. Just some dumb bimbo. I have no experience in schizophrenia but I have had to deal with family members with alcoholism, depression and drug addiction and you don't just pawn problems like this onto a child and walk off into the sunset with your sugar momma. It's just so gross.

[Kristen Harvey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why I read this: The cover looked cool and it's a debut novel. I made the mistake of wanting a book because it was pretty.

Plot: Aura's mother is schizophrenic and she decides to take it upon herself to deal with it. Her father is hands off, never broaching the topic because he is busy having his own new family. Aura doesn't go to anyone, afraid of losing her mother completely. In other words, she ends up having to deal with her mother as if she was the child - not vice versa.

Characters: I feel like we never get to know who Aura is because of her focus on her mother. She throws all of her energy into keeping the appearance of normalcy up. Like her mother, she is artistic, but she worries that it is art that has driven her mother insane and so she stays away from it like the plague. Her best friend already has a kid and is only in high school, her father has started a new life with a new family, and she's pretty much alone in the world - her mother being mentally incapacitated sometimes. I feel like what she deals with defines her instead of what is inside her.

Relatability: I couldn't quite relate to this. To be honest, I was a bit bored. There was only hints of could-be side plots, without any real delivery. I wanted to smack Aura for not calling someone and helping her mother sooner so that they wouldn't be in any danger of losing everything they had. I've really never had this situation and while it was slightly intriguing, I felt like it was dragged out.

Cover commentary: Gorgeous - one of the reasons I picked up this book.

[Skye · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review is also posted on my blog, In The Good Books.

Aura has been taking care of her schizophrenic mother as she descends gradually into insanity since her father got fed up and left several years ago. Her mother eventually loses her job teaching art classes at the museum and soon thereafter, becomes completely catatonic, and Aura needs to figure out how to help her.

All the while, however, Aura is stifling her own creative abilities because her mother has shown her that art leads to insanity.

While I could see how Aura developed that mindset, it still struck me as slightly ridiculous. Each chapter begun with some tidbit from Aura about schizophrenia, usually attaching the disease to a great artist, like Vincent Van Gogh.

The disease felt incredibly well researched, the symptoms portrayed accurately and people's reactions to it realistic.

The plot was slow-burning in a literary-esque way, but I couldn't find the depth to justify the slow pace. I found myself bored in some places, wondering where exactly the story was going.

A Blue So Dark enticed me with its cover and the fabulous quotes on the back. Apparent in them and in the rest of the book was a poignant and poetic style of writing that kept me entertained while the plot and characters could not.

I give A Blue So Dark 3 out of 5.

[Austin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was written in a way so dark, it was beautiful. I loved the story line of how Aura was dealing with her mother's schizophrenia. Throughout the book, Aura's mother syncs deeper and deeper into mental illness, as she struggles through her hallucinations. It was so sad to see Aura take care of her mother and try to piece her back together. I really liked the plot of the book because as Aura is searching for help, her mother's hallucinations become dangerously worse. I could really relate to Aura, of how she was mad that no one was helping her and she was trying so friking hard. Her father was an idiot, and her grandmother's relationship with Aura was shocking.I loved this book so much, because I found it as a real eye-opener. Mental illness isn't something a 15 year old girl(or boy) can take care of. The pacing of this book was slow, emotional, and heart-wrenching.
Story: 10/10
Plot :10/10
Writing: 10/10
Characters: 10/10
Ending: 10/10

[Julie Graves · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story opens with Aura, her mom and dad and her best friend Janny on a trip to Florida. Everything was supposed to be perfect, but for Aura the beach was a disappointment with undertones of foreboding lurking in the wings.



Fast forward 5 years and Aura’s life seems to be falling apart. Her father has left the family, Aura’s best friend has her own issues and slowly Aura’s mom is sinking into schizophrenia. Aura feels like she is sinking, but has promised her mom “no drugs” and not to tell anyone.



The rest of the story is Aura trying to help her mother through her episode hoping that she will come out of it. The thing that scares Aura the most though is how much is she like her mother, is this her fate as well?



Oh, I’m telling you, author Holly Schindler knows how to pack all the feels into her stories! There was so much here! I wanted to shake Aura and tell her to GET HELP! I wanted to shake her mother and tell her to GET HELP! I wanted to shake both Aura and Janny and tell them to get their act together and listen to each other. Mental illness is such a hard thing to deal with. Add the fact that Aura is only 15 and having to make adult decisions, it was a train wreck waiting to happen. The subject matter is heavy, this is definitely not a light and fluffy read. But the story was engrossing and kept me reading and rooting for Aura and hoping, like she did, that someone would come alongside her and help her. Again, all the feels! A book I very much recommend.

[Chinara Ahmadova · Rating 2 out of 5]

Teaspres neşriyyatının nefis tertibatında öz dilimizde oxuduğum növbeti çerezlik bir kitab.
Anasının şizofren olduğunu öyrenen atasının evden çıxıb getmesi ile bütün yükü öz çiyinlerine götüren Aura her vechle anasını qorumağa, onun qayğısına qalmağa çalışır. Amma onun gücü buna ne qeder çatacaq? Bes özü bu xestelikden sığortalanıbmı?
Mövzusu maraq oyatsa da, obrazlar derinden işlenilmedi, 260 sehifenin 200 sehifesi Aura eyni daire etrafında döndü dolaşdı, yazıçı yaradıcılıqla şizofreniya arasında bir elaqe qurmağa cehd gösterdi, amma gösterdiyi faktlar ne inandırıcıydı, ne de bir elmi esası vardı. Havada qaldı. Romantik münasibetler de bir başladı, bir bitdi, heyif ki, Ceremi obrazını derinden işlemedi, heç bilinmedi bu münasibet neydi, niye vardı, nece davam etdi.
Eserde en çox xoşuma gelen Nell obrazıydı, bir az onun başı işleyirdi, mentiqli danışır ve davranırdı. Aura da yaxşıydı, bir yeniyetme kimi gözlediyim kimiydi.
Bele 12-16 yaş aralığındasınızsa ve kitab oxumağa yeni başlayırsınızsa, açıb baxa bilersiniz. Eks halda, yaxın durmağınızı meslehet görmerem.

[Aly (Fantasy4eva) · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do I even begin? Just wow. The very first time I spotted “A blue so dark” I knew it was a book I had to have because it just seemed so different from anything else out there. I'm not very knowledgeable on the topic of schizophrenia apart from knowing the basics. Reading this novel has creating so much more awareness of this illness.

Aura is a girl who has had to grow up very fast - she is merely fifteen soon to be sixteen, and it has been three years since her father gave up on her and her mother and her parents divorced. She refuses to - like her father would - shove pills down her mother’s throat. Everything will get better or so Aura keeps telling herself.

Within a year or so of her mother not taking medication, her illness has taken over both of their lives. Her best friend Janny who has always been there for her, recently, is letting her down time and time again when she needs her most. Janny however is having problems of her own: having a baby that wasn't planned and a jerk of a boyfriend she is struggling to cope. The lack of understanding and communication only worsens things.

Aura's mother Grace was beautiful once, but that has long changed. She has now become erratic as well as unpredictable with often a mad look in her eyes and Aura hates it, she hates that she’s scared. What scares her more is that when she looks into her mothers eyes she sees herself. Worse yet they both share a passion for Art. This convinces Aura to never paint. Aura isn't exactly very confident and hasn't had the time to worry about girlish things as other girls her age do - such as; dating, make-up and appearance. Having a voluptuous body like her mothers she has no self esteem at all and hides it under baggy hoodies.

Her father has long moved on with a much younger pretty wife. Aura and his ex wife are people he would much rather forget. Aura and I have nothing in common at all: how can we? How can I possibly even imagine myself in her shoes? Being a mother to my own mother, having to worry about leaving her on her own just so that she doesn't kill herself, worrying about my own mother potentially hurting me? If there was a small piece of her that I saw myself in it was probably the trust issue. From that perspective I could completely empathise with her. Also, Aura's character was so well written and so believable that at times I kept finding myself stopping to think - is this the author talking? I seriously felt I could hear the author herself through Aura. I think I lost that fine line that separates a character and the writer. I don't think I've ever experienced that before, if anything, it tells you how well written this book actually is.

Let me share part of a quote with you that stayed with me for quite a while.

"Is he coming?”Mom asked. "Is he bringing the boat?"
And I started to cry, because everyone else in the world was gone by then, and there was no one I could even call out to"

Lets just say I devoured this book within hours. It is the kind of book that makes you take a step back and analyse things around you - it made me appreciate my mother. After reading this I had a big urge to run over to her just see her. I missed the real Grace even though I never really got a glimpse of her until the very end.

Jeremy is one of the positive highlights of the book. Through Jeremy you get to experience the part of Aura that is a 15 year old. Like having a crush; experiencing feelings that young girls like her should have. You see her smile and it makes you wish she smiled like that more often. Nell is a character I really loved. I admired how strong willed she was and the positive change she brought into Aura's life. What I struggled with was coming to terms with forgiving Aura's father perhaps because what he did was truly unforgivable in my eyes...not only leaving your wife at her most vulnerable because you think you can’t cope, but leaving your 12 year old daughter too? As if she should be able to cope? I really connected with Aura and I genuinely wished her happiness -the ending isn't all sunshine and rainbows but as realistic as can be.

One of the highlights of the book for me were Aura's poems -they especially touched me deeply. I had this strong urge to write them down in my Dairy which I had neglected for months. There was this connection with Aura that I felt when knowing that she was writing down the very words as I was that moment. I recorded every poem she wrote in my Diary and I plan on cherishing them because through the poems I got a great insight of her inner thoughts; here is a verse from a particular poem that stood out to me.

I wrote a poem
and gave it to my mother.
I filled it with visions
and voices as beautiful as she.
But it left her bruised,
beaten with its awful truths.
Now I stand
motherless and detached
And I think that I should never write again.

I don't know why but the very last line hits a nerve

Haunting but beautiful A Blue So Dark is a novel that gripped me in so many ways. I savoured each and every moment and was drawn into Aura's world that was filled with danger, sadness, anger, and hope, but most of all a chance of new beginning's.

[N.T. Embeast · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first trip to a library again after ten years of not being in one resulted in a fantastic first read. This book is a far cry from the manga and other variety of books I’ve been reading so far, and I never imagined I would wander into the Young Adult section of my library and walk away with this beautifully covered book whose internal message and tale is so… intense and alluring. Considering this is the first novel ever written by Holly Schindler, there are only positive things that I have to say about this read! Literally everything about the story was appealing! …even the things that would turn most people off, scare them, or perhaps disgust them. *Smiles* Being someone with a lot of love for psychology in anything I’m experiencing, books and stories especially, I could really relate to the complex emotions and feelings that were carried over throughout this book.

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning a bit, shall we? This is a book written about a middle school girl whose beautiful, artistic mother, eventually succumbs to schizophrenia. It’s a story of the struggle between a family that’s falling apart at the seams, a fear of a madness that might be tied into the main character’s shared passion with her mother—the love of art—and the way she lives a very normal, very relatable life even with all the chaos and challenges unique to her situation. Aura (the daughter and our main character) speaks to us in the first person throughout the novel, and it is a story that isn’t so much unusual as it is realistic. This is a life where the things that happen are all normal situations. School plays a huge role, and like it is for any teenager, it’s filled with harassment, stupid teachers who don’t have a clue what the heck is going on, drama that concerns Aura’s best friend, and more. On top of all of that, we have a family broken by a father that left them, and a mother who… is shockingly unreal.

It can be a scary thing… to have someone with a mental disorder like schizophrenia before you. No matter your age, or your experiences with things like that… it’s a situation that can shock you into a world that you realize was so completely normal before you found someone who cannot abide by its rules—regardless their efforts. Having been a Psychology major, I’ve had the chance to study abnormal psychology before, concerning mental disorders. *Shakes her head* When you see firsthand the footage and studies about schizophrenia, you begin to realize just how sad and life-changing the situation can be. Especially when, like in A Blue So Dark, the schizophrenic tries their best to live life normally without medical help and isn’t able to. Some can! …sometimes they can’t. And that’s where things begin to fall apart.

Although Holly Schindler said she had no personal experience with schizophrenia, and though she mentioned she did research it, I was actually shocked to find she had no actual experience with the disorder! The way she wrote, I kept insisting to my friend and family members that I could see the accurate depiction of what someone with schizophrenia would act like! She carried over everything perfectly in her novel! It was down to the finest detail in convincing me that she knew firsthand what someone with this condition would be like.

Schindler’s writing is not only down to earth, straight-shooting and delicious for its bold attitude, but the emotions are so much more real because they’re conveyed in that way. This brings the experiences of Aura to us all the more like slaps in the face, stabs in the heart, and gut-wrenching pitfalls as she has to deal with her sick mother endlessly. It’s a cruel, grueling, but liberating throe of emotions; one that few get to experience with the reality and clean-cut, leave-nothing-out prominence brought to us in A Blue So Dark. The richness given to our minds and hearts—and that shrouded part of us deeper than both: our very souls—is what makes this book majestic and gripping, like breathing and finding your voice again after being strangled and buried down under countless weights, deeper and deeper until you felt all you had left inside you are tears and screams.

Hope and liberty come to us hand-in-hand though, throughout the experience of this book. And it’s one I would recommend for everyone to go through. Maybe you will not understand it or feel as passionately moved by it. Maybe it’ll frighten you or evoke feelings of disgust that make you want to turn away. But for those of you who stick through and read on until the end, I know you’ll love the feeling of victory and peace you get from this book. It’s worth every horrible moment, every wild and mindless animalistic tear and cry. It’s a book like so few are writing or can ever present so properly, or so beautifully. For that, I recommend this book with the highest marks! Holly Schindler, you did a fantastic job. And I have only praise for you for this amazing read. Thank you, for this creation. It is a provoking piece I will always keep in my heart.

[Brea Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Blue So Dark is one of those books that stays with you. What really that stood out to me the most is its honesty. Brutal honesty. It was thought provoking, insightful and beautiful. It explored so many issues – not only of schizophrenia; but the effects it has on everything else. It looks at loosing friendships, broken families, mending relationships, poor socio economic area’s, teen pregnancy, health effects, stress. There is just so much packed into 300 pages that I’m a little overwhelmed.

A Blue So Dark follows Aura as her schizophrenic mother descends into a dark place. Aura is striving to keep her mother’s condition a secret, while still look after her. In turn, Aura goes through things no girl should at her age. We see her develop and learn from her experience, and I loved watching her mature as the story progresses.

In fact, all the characters were just great. Every single one was layered, individual and Schindler does not turn the blind eye at the bad stuff – she embraces it and makes her character real.

In saying this, there is an exception. A Blue So Dark included romance, but it was the most minor part of the book, you can hardly notice it. This is a great example of where the main character gets their act together before going into a relationship. And the love interest is nothing more than just that – a cute guy that pops up every now and again to remind us that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. He gives us something to look forward to in Aura’s future. We really don’t know much about him at all.

Schizophrenia isn’t something I know much about, which is what I found this book really insightful. I had no idea what to expect or how the characters were going to react to the different situations posed to them. I found it really intense and I was shocked – actually shocked that some people live with this, like this. It was definitely eye opening.

I also enjoyed how art plays such a big part. I love reading about artists. It’s close to home. My Mum’s a painter, and I think my mind sways more to the artistic side at times. It’s interesting to see how Aura’s interpretation of art is tainted by her mother and her illness, and she begins to shun that part of her.

Not only does it talk about artists, but the whole book is an art piece. The way it’s written is beautiful. The descriptions were just enough to satisfy my need for visuals.

Plain and simple – I just really enjoyed this book. To the amount of issues it explores, to art, to descriptions, to being just a real, honest book that opened my mind to something that I once shrugged at. I got really emotional towards the end, because there are still some loose ties. But otherwise, I was really blown away by this little paperback I bought on a whim. I highly recommend!

You can find this review and more @ Breezy Reads

[Cass · Rating 4 out of 5]

Painfully slow. Really disliked it. Until...

Probably from page 100 onwards, I started to get a vibe that perhaps A Blue So Dark wasn't so bad after all. I would have given up on it, if I hadn't felt obligated to finish, and write a review on it; but I'm glad I stuck to it and got to the end, because if I hadn't, I would have missed out on something truly special.

One aspect I really liked was the characters. Aura is vulnerable, but puts on a brave front and she had a good voice all through to the end. Nell, an old woman working in an art shop, is wise and kind and strong and all-knowing. I loved her. Jeremy was incredibly, well, cute. For a skater boy. Hah. But it's really sweet to see their relationship develop, and I loved their little scenes together. If I talk about Aura's mum, there's no way I can NOT spoil anything, so I'll leave it to you to read it.

Having not known much about Schizophrenia in the past, this book was a good indication of what Schizophrenia does to people: the affected and those involved. I liked the little notes below each chapter - in italics, there's a sarcastic kind of note from Aura about Schizophrenia. I thought they were pretty cool.

The storyline was slow-moving a lot of the time, but for most of the last 100 pages, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It allowed time for reflection on Aura's mother's situation, which is definitely the book's main focus. Also, I'm glad that Schindler allowed time to just describe the scenes, explain/reassess the situation, talk about characters, etc.

Also, I liked the framing of the novel. The mermaids mentioned at the beginning come back, as do the paintings and the art:

"Now, I just carve her, over and over. Can't quit. Think it's because I can never get her quite right. Never can show how much she sparkled."

He sighed, shaking his head as he tossed the whittled piece of drift into an old galvanized tub on the floor in front of the counter. I folllowed after it, finding the whole tub full of mermaids--some painted, some dotted with glitter, some stained, some (possibly half-finished pieces) left so natural they seemed to have actually washed onto the beach with faces and long flowing hair and scales. (pp. 5-6)



Final thoughts:

If you can wittle through the painful beginning, and love illness YA novels, you'll probably love this one. While I probably won't be reading this one cover-to-cover again, any time soon, I'm definitely going to go pick up my own personal copy to read over my favourite scenes.

Extras
At the back, there is an interview of Holly Schindler, by Allie at Little Willow! Which is cool, because I love her blog. :) It's a really good interview, and I enjoyed reading that, too!

[xtina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick disclaimer: this isn't really my type of book. I'm not usually into emotional sagas about illness, even in YA lit (I despised My Sister's Keeper, for example). However, I read a really great review of this book by Amanda at Another Book Junkie, so when I saw it at my local library I decided to put the past behind me and give it a try.

I'm glad I did. The book wasn't exactly a page turner compared to a lot of the things I've been reading lately, but it did hold my attention. It well written, carefully thought out, and vividly, at times painfully, realistic. The main character, Aura, is a typical 21st century high schooler in a lot of ways. She has an awkward crush on a skater dude; she's sarcastic (but not over the top with her snark), mildly anti-establishment, parents are divorced, etc. But that's where her normalcy ends.

Aura's mother happens to be stark raving mad. She is schizophrenic and has "episodes" where she tries to burn the house down because "the walls are crying" and it's too noisy. And Aura is her sole caretaker, now that her formerly artsy, free-spirited father has remarried a blond bimbo, produced a new daughter, and become an insurance salesman who wants nothing to do with his old family. Added to the difficulty of caring for her crazy mom, Aura is also paranoid that her own sanity is a ticking time bomb, that she's destined to inherit her mother's schizophrenia, especially if she allows herself to give in to her passion for painting and poetry.

Aura's best (and only) friend, formerly fun-loving, beautiful, bubbly & boy crazy, got knocked up and is now a single mother. Both Aura and her friend are dealing with ridiculously difficult things and have practically no one to help them through it. But both of them show believable growth through the course of the novel. Aura starts off as scared, stubborn, and selfish, but by the end she exhibits impressive strength, flexibility, and bravery. The ending, while satisfying, does not set the scene for a squeaky clean, happy ever after for any of the characters, and I liked that. The romance in the story was cute, but definitely not the focus. I thought that might disappoint me, but actually I found it refreshing to read a YA book where the sole concern of the protagonist was something other than finding her soul mate.

So, as I said, I'm not a huge fan of this type of book in general, but A Blue So Dark was definitely a mark above the norm.

3.5 stars

[Book Sp(l)ot · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Blue So Dark takes an honest and often painful look at schizophrenia through a teenagers eyes. Aura Ambrose has to deal with what a lot of fifteen-year-olds have to deal with: divorced parents, a dad who's not around enough, tough friendships and a tricky relationship with her mother--but in Aura's case it's all compounded (if not caused) by the fact that her mother's a schizophrenic.

In her debut novel, Holly Schindler does a beautiful job portraying Aura's mother's illness, the isolation Aura feels in being the only one to deal with everything day to day, Aura's fear that she'll one day end up like her mother, and Aura's eventual need to ask for help.


This novel was the first book a long, long time that I've sat down and read in (almost) one sitting. I have to say almost only because I'd read the first even or so pages already and then I was going to read 50 pages or x many chapters but I got so engrossed in the story I ended up reading to the end. (It's a good thing it was a nice day outside where I was and my dog was behaving!)

The way that creativity was seen by Aura as a possible gateway to insanity was really, really interesting to me. I don't have any mental illness in my family, but I am creative so to try to think like Aura on that was different. (And I couldn't imagine how hard it would be for her to have-or think she had-that choice.)

The relationships between all of the characters were all very well written and developed--the bits of the past also helped you see more of who they were and I enjoyed that.

It was a beautiful story yes about a teenage girl whose mother has schizophrenia but it was also a beautiful story about a teenager who has too much on her plate and needed to learn how to manage it and accept help from others.

A Blue So Dark is a great read for teens and young adults (and adults, too, really) not only because it's an amazing book, but also because far too many people don't know about or understand schizophrenia and this book, while fiction, depicts it very well I think.





10/10 --and I so cannot wait for Playing Hurt even if it's a totally different genre, I think I love Holly Schindler's writing

[Steph | bookedinsaigon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A BLUE SO DARK is an astonishing achievement by debut author Holly Schindler. Aura's story is horrifying, enthralling, and touching all at once, and will certainly open readers' eyes to situations they've probably never considered before.

I have never read a book about schizophrenia before, but Holly Schindler writes these heartbreaking scenes between Aura and her mother with a conviction that thus carries into the reader, absorbing us until we, like Aura, cannot escape from the horror. This writer's confidence shows in the character of Aura, who doesn't necessarily approach her situation with more aplomb than reasonable in a teenager, but who also doesn't dissolve into histrionics. Aura keeps her narration poetic yet direct, even as her mother further deteriorates, and this contrast in situation vs. presentation only serves to amplify the terror that she--and we, connected as we are to her--feel as we watch her mom.

A BLUE SO DARK is really a story about family, and thus while some non-family characters are not quite as strongly developed (e.g. Aura's crush and best friend), we really get a complete sense of the important family members: the three generations of women in Aura's family, each of whom is satisfyingly different in action yet similar because they are family.

A BLUE SO DARK, with its evocative cover and fascinating premise, blew me away with the way it handled such a delicate issue. This is a real good one to read if you're looking to expand your experience with books about psychological illnesses. Can't wait to see what Holly has for us next!

[Christy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had a lot of potential. It tackled a hard subject - a girl deal with her mother's schizophrenia on her own while struggling with her own fears that she might one day become like her mother. The characters were interesting and unique, and the situation with her parents marriage and her mother's relationship with her mother made me want to read on to see how it all turned out. For the first third of the book or so, I was really enjoying it.

But ... what killed it for me was something stupid: I started to notice the author's over-use of similes in her writing and I couldn't unnotice it. Similes are fine, but often in this book they didn't add anything to the prose -- they just tacked on a mental image to a standard cliched phrase. Like "her voice as clear and unclouded as tap water" and "her angry eyes start boring into my forehead. Like a drill bit". I just couldn't believe so many of these made it past editing. After four cheesy, pointless similes on one page, I had to put the book down and walk away (though I picked it up later and finished it)

I felt for Aura with her struggles with her mother. She promised no medication and was afraid to break that promise. Meanwhile, she was getting no help from her dad, who wanted to sweep those problems under the rug after the divorce. I was less than charmed, though, by the love interest character who would breeze into a scene demanding Aura paint his skateboard for him.

[Angel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a lyrically beautiful book. You know how sometimes you'll find a sentence that just speaks to you, and you want to write it down somewhere so you don't forget? Well, almost the entire book was that sentence for me. Holly Schindler just has a way with words, that draws you right into the story and won't let you go until you've devoured every last word. This book really touches on a touch subject, but it was handled in such a real way. I really felt like I was living Aura's life with her. I wanted to scream and cry and rant as each event would come to pass. I was an emotional wreck...lol.

There was no fluffy, generic happy ending with this one. No, you're all better now and there are no more problems. It was a happy ending that had to be struggled to achieve, and even then, it was only hanging on by a thread. But isn't that true of all of our happy endings? It's never really like the fairy tales, they get married and live HEA. No, it's a constant struggle to hold on to your HEA, and I'm glad this book showed just how true that is.

I definitely recommend this book to all of you! I will be thinking about this book long after the pages stop turning, and I hope you pick it up and enjoy it as much as I did!

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't really know what to expect when I opened this book. What I got was a incredibly engaging story about mental illness. No one wants to talk about these things. Not really. Most of us avoid mental illness like it's the plague. But what if you were like Aura? What if your own mother were the definition of mental illness? There's no avoiding that.

This story was terrifying! I felt all the emotions of the book right along side Aura. It was like a train wreck that you knew was going to happen. I knew throughout the book that things were only going to get worse for Aura and her mother. I wanted to yell "Do something!!" at Aura! I LOVE when books make me feel that strongly. This one most definitely did!

Holly Schindler's writing is beautiful. It really came to life for me. Something else I really loved about the book, in the end not everything was picture perfect happy. There was some loose ends that were never tied. I really liked that. It was much more realistic that way.

This is a book you need to read for yourself. It's about a tough topic and the characters are nitty gritty but I really loved it. This one will make you think!

[Ashlyn Rae (TeenageReader) · Rating 5 out of 5]

All I have to say about A Blue So Dark is WOW. This book was amazing. I found A Blue So Dark after Holly Schindler added me as a friend on Goodreads. I read the description and I was immediately intrigued. I couldn’t wait to read it! When I finally got it from the library, I chose to take it with me on a Vegas trip with my family. (This was during the holidays in 2010.) I did NOT regret it. The plot was so unique and different, I couldn’t stop reading it. I loved how Schindler added a romantic twist to the story, it just added to its amazing-ness. A Blue So Dark is very emotional, you will be hooked in no time. And Aura is a great character; I also fell in love with her personality. She has to do so much for her mother, and yet, she can get her own things done. The only part I regret is not having my own copy. I’m going to have to buy it next time I’m at a bookstore! And I’m not kidding, its really that good. If you haven’t read A Blue So Dark yet, you need to get your own copy as soon as you can. Don’t borrow it from the library! You’ll want your own copy too!

http://teenagereader.com/a-blue-so-da...

[Star · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aura is a high-school girl, who has to take care of her schizophrenic mother. Her dad abandoned them years ago, she has no other family, and she’s got to hide how bad everything is from her mom’s employer and her school. But she’s running out of excuses and has nowhere to turn. Aura's protectiveness of her mother and their situation proves her worth as an incredibly strong, well-written heroine. Her fear that she too will become sick like her mother causes her to make some reckless decisions.

This is sometimes a really sad book, but full of beautiful imagery. Everyone involved has to deal with the events and put their lives back together, but thankfully you’re not left with an ambiguous ending. The story is emotional, powerful, and deep. Ms. Schindler does a wonderful job of writing the thoughts and feelings that create Aura’s world. As someone who has dealt with parents who have mental illness, this is a book I felt at home in.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the detailing was exquisitely written. Holly Schindler beautifully captured the anguish, shame, and love between Aura and her mother. At times in this book, I felt really depressed, but I also felt appreciative that I didn't have to live with someone who suffered from a mental disorder. I couldn't imagine how overwhelming a life like that would be.

Aura was a likable character. Sometimes though, I did want to shake her; however, given the circumstances I can understand why she acted the way she did. She basically had to give up most of her life to care for her mom and live with the fear of one day becoming crazy herself. I think that alone would make me crazy...

The writing alone in this book was worth the read, but the story was also touching.

[Roxy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Officially giving this a 3.5 rating. I would rate higher and favorite, but it took a while for me to warm up to this one. In fact, I was almost finished when I really came to enjoy it. I credit this strange phenomenon to the incredible character development, which unfortunately, doesn't happen often enough-particularly in YA. Also, *POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT* the book becomes a lot less depressing towards the end. I ended up falling in love with all the characters, especially Nell, and in turn fell in love with the book. It is amazing to me that this is a debut novel. Wow. I will definitely be reading Holly's next book.

[Lada Moskalets · Rating 4 out of 5]

Дівчинка опікується мамою-художницею хворою на шизофренію і водночас пробує зрозуміти причини, які до цього призвели і відмовитися від творчості, як ймовірного каталізатора. Попри досить передбачуваний сюжет без особливих несподіванок хороша психологічна повість на тему того, як нам страшно долати наше коріння. Досить детально описані епізоди хвороби і те, як вона руйнує особистість, але книжка все ж позитивна і має на меті підкреслити важливість любові і відповідальності, а не налякати читача-підлітка