Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing

by Paul C. Rosenblatt

A fascinating look at the social experience of sharing a bed with another person.

Millions of adults sleep with another adult, but what does it mean to share a bed with someone else, and how does it affect a couple’s relationship? What happens when one partner snores? Steals the sheets? Prefers to sleep in the nude? To address these and other questions, Paul C. Rosenblatt asked couples to describe the struggles, challenges, and achievements of their bed-sharing experiences. Two in a Bed includes interviews with more than forty bed-sharing couples as they candidly discuss winding down and waking up, cold feet and tucked sheets, who sleeps near the door and who gets pushed to the edge, snoring, spooning, sleep talking, sleep walking, and the myriad other behaviors we negotiate in falling asleep, staying asleep, and waking up each morning beside a partner. In addition to exploring the routines and realities of sharing a bed with another person, these interviews reveal important information about sleep, relationships, and American society. Stressing the intricacy and importance of a previously unremarked activity, Rosenblatt’s Two in a Bed shows that sleep should no longer be viewed solely as an individual phenomenon.

“Rosentblatt’s contention that sleep is a window into a couple’s life may … prove useful for therapists.” — CHOICE

“ Two in a Bed is a groundbreaking book in the field of sleep and relationships. While a plethora of writing exists about adults sleeping as an individual phenomenon, until now there was no book about sharing a bed, even though it’s a part of millions of couples’ lives.” — RxPG

“Rosenblatt’s book is a sociological study of this overlooked phenomenon, and he reveals all the factors involved in bed sharing, ‘couple interaction,’ and the effects of a shared sleeping environment … [It] reassuringly asserts the age-old maxims it never hurts to the keys to a good relationship are intimacy, communication and plenty of compromise.” — Publishers Weekly

“…quite accessible to general readers, and quite a lot of fun.” — Shelf Awareness

“This is the most fascinating and engaging book in the family arena that I have read in many years. It fills a significant and important gap in the social science literature. Every interview is informative and some are even hilarious.” — David M. Klein, coeditor of Sourcebook of Family Theory and Research

Genres: Sociology

227 pages, Paperback

First published July 13, 2006

Reviews

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a great idea and I loved her research. It was geared towards professionals, which I think is a thinly masked way of saying the author doesn't want to bother making it interesting to read.

[Teresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm reading this for a book that I'm writing, and I've got to say, the whole idea of marrying and then sharing a little bed with another living, breathing human being, through illness, injury, pregnancy, insomnia, children, and sexual whatever, is crazy. i mean...good crazy. and crazy crazy.

[Kristine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm constantly surprised by how often I remember things I read in this book - it made sense of so many things, like why I don't sleep well if my husband isn't with me. Repetitive after about 2/3 but overall, quite good.

[Tricia]

Loved it, but not for everybody.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made a big point of noting that there simply isn't much literature out there about the sociology of couples sharing a bed. And it's important to realize that sharing a bed with someone after spending most of your life only worrying about your own sleep habits, is naturally a little challenging. It's a social arrangement that takes a bit of learning to adapt to. I enjoyed the quotes from the participants in Rosenblatt's study, and they made me feel like small issues like an elbow jab here and a snoring bedmate there are not only normal, but things could be a lot worse. It also made me appreciate the joy and comfort of sharing a bed. My only complaint is that his pool of participants was pretty homogeneous, mostly white hetero Midwestern couples. Of course, I guess I relate to them just fine.

[Mrelia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, I enjoyed the descriptions of bed sharing behaviors. It's interesting to contrast one's own experiences with those in the book.
I was dissappointed with the scope of the study, though. The people interviewed were from a single, small geographic area and as far as I could tell, fairly similar cultural backgrounds. I also felt that it was odd that the author interviewed heterosexual and lesbian couples, he did not include gay males in the study group.
I would love to see followup studies including a larger sample group that's more diverse geographically and socially.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful and insight book on the sociology of sharing a bed with someone. I highly recommend this book!