What an absolute privilege to be invited into the minds, hearts and homes of the people in Digging to America by Anne Tyler.
My only other Tyler experience was a 3-star effort, A Patchwork Planet, I was disappointed as a few of you lot highly recommended her – but this second book, is an absolute belter of a story. I loved it, and I even read slower towards the end. I employed delaying tactics like starting other books, listening to podcasts, over-playing with the pup, over-feeding Freddie – all hopeless efforts to delay the inevitable ending. Why isn’t this a 900-page Chunkster? Why?
The story centres around two families and mainly two couples. One of them is a typical American couple, Bitsy and Brad, the other Sami and Ziba – who have Iranian heritage. Both couples start the story childless. In fact, the story commences at the Baltimore airport, it’s 1977 and they’re waiting for the arrival of their Korean baby girls – both couples are adopting, at this stage they don’t know each other. But this changes quick smart and they become friends and their families and extended families have reason to catch-up for various gatherings such as “Arrival Day”, Birthdays, New Year, Iranian New Year, Leaf Raking parties, the Binky party.
Now you can imagine the dynamics between, young and old, Iranian and American, male and female, kids, and the new parents (with totally different parenting styles!) – creates so many opportunities for interesting interactions – oh, it's worth mentioning that each page has something I found riveting, emotionally engaging, funny, sad and interesting.
There are two characters I really love. Firstly, is Maryam – a beautiful, stoic, older Iranian woman – a widow and mother of the lad Sami, husband of Ziba. The other is Dave, father of Bitsy, a scruffy old Grandad type, easy with words and opinions but lovable – oh my, the interaction between these two is priceless. It made me splutter-laugh, this is the laugh you least expect, often resulting in whatever is in your mouth projecting towards the page you’re reading – this can be saliva, food or drink. No wonder the pages of this second-hand book are stained (seriously). They also literally made me tear up. Over-wet eyes, over-moist, not quite sobbing. So much emotion.
Maryam talking about her husband (who died of cancer – years before):
I thought, if only I could mourn the man I first knew. But instead there were the more recent versions, the sick one then the sicker one and then the one who was so cross and hated me for disturbing him with pills and food and fluids, and finally the faraway, sleepy one who in fact was not there at all. I thought, I wish I had been aware of the day he really died – the day his real self died. That was the day I should have grieved most deeply
The episode of Maryam having to go to her son’s (Sami and Ziba’s) house with a bicycle helmet on because she couldn’t get the thing off was hilarious – I imagined this beautiful, proud, Iranian woman walking to her son’s house, embarrassed but trying to pretend everything was okay – I laughed out loud!!
The different parenting styles of Bitsy and Ziba (the two young Mums) was particularly interesting. Fair to say, Bitsy was an over-mum and Ziba was a little easier – but who am I to judge, I’m just a Dad – but crikey, the difference was stark. Bitsy, although very nice, warm and engaging was a little too pushy for mine, but she was a lot of fun – she’d be hard to relax around methinks. Ziba, was stuck in a world of ‘wanting to assimilate’ and being pulled back to Iranian customs by her relatives and own appreciation of tradition. I was probably on Ziba’s side on the parenting style issue, but I still loved Bitsy – although pushy, and opinionated she had a big heart. The little girls (Susan and Jin-Ho) were charming in their own ways. Chubby and cute.
I found myself listening to Googoosh, an Iranian singer (try her), on Spotify as I was crawling towards the finale. I also spent time looking up Iranian recipes – in fact, I’m going to TRY to make a Kuku Bademjan this weekend, it’s a thick vegetable frittata and it looks delicious – see what you’ve made me do Ms Tyler!!!!
But seriously, this is a terrific book. I truly loved it. I adored the characters, it ended as it should have, nicely wrapped up – Anne Tyler left nothing in the dressing room on this one and seemed to pour everything she had onto each page. I am now an Anne Tyler fan - officially!!
5-stars (of course)