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I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society
We all just suck it up every day. You leave the house for a latte and somebody'll flip you the bird on your way and force their loud cellphone conversation on you once you're there.
It doesn't have to be that way, says award-winning syndicated columnist Amy Alkon. Her hilarious stories of her in-your-face encounters with rude people and businesses will inspire you to stand up to the boors in your own world.
Alkon not only gives the offenders a taste of their own medicine, she delves into anthropology, psychology, and behavioral science to figure out why we're rude and how we can stop all the intruding, shoving, and shouting. She ensures that all these rude people get their comeuppance:
-Lax parents
-Internet bullies
-Rude drivers
-Negligent businesses
-Telemarketing executives
-Car thieves
-Parking space hogs
-That loud jerk in the drugstore line
In this funny, ferocious and freewheeling expose, Alkon gives you the tools you need to confront these abusers and restore common courtesy, respect and good manners to society...one chastened cellphone shouter at a time.
It doesn't have to be that way, says award-winning syndicated columnist Amy Alkon. Her hilarious stories of her in-your-face encounters with rude people and businesses will inspire you to stand up to the boors in your own world.
Alkon not only gives the offenders a taste of their own medicine, she delves into anthropology, psychology, and behavioral science to figure out why we're rude and how we can stop all the intruding, shoving, and shouting. She ensures that all these rude people get their comeuppance:
-Lax parents
-Internet bullies
-Rude drivers
-Negligent businesses
-Telemarketing executives
-Car thieves
-Parking space hogs
-That loud jerk in the drugstore line
In this funny, ferocious and freewheeling expose, Alkon gives you the tools you need to confront these abusers and restore common courtesy, respect and good manners to society...one chastened cellphone shouter at a time.
224 pages, Paperback
First published September 27, 2009
31 people are currently reading
553 people want to read
About the author
Amy Alkon
9 books79 followersAmy Alkon is an independent investigative science writer specializing in “applied science”—using scientific evidence to solve real-world problems.
Alkon critically evaluates and synthesizes research across disciplines and then translates it into everyday language, empowering regular people to make scientifically informed decisions for the best of their health and well-being.
For 25 years, Alkon wrote an award-winning, science-based nationally syndicated advice column, distributed by Creators. With GOING MENOPOSTAL, Alkon has authored five books—most recently, her “science-help” book UNF*CKOLOGY: How to Live with Guts and Confidence (St. Martin’s Press, 2018).
Alkon is the past President of the Applied Evolutionary Psychology Society, which brings evolutionary science to public policy, education, and medicine. She has given invited talks to academics on applied science at scientific conferences and to large groups at universities. She has given two TED talks, and the Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office hires Alkon, a State of California-certified mediator, to do behavioral science-based dispute resolution talks and training videos.
Alkon has been profiled in publications including The New York Times, TIME, The Washington Post, The Independent/UK, and Macleans. Alkon has appeared on numerous national TV and radio shows, including Good Morning America, Today, NPR, CNN, Nightline, Anderson Cooper Live, and Canada’s The Agenda with Steve Paikin. Podcasters who've featured her include Joe Rogan, Michael Shermer, Adam Carolla, Robert Wright, and Scott Barry Kaufman.
Alkon lives in Venice, California. Follow Amy Alkon on X: @amyalkon
Alkon critically evaluates and synthesizes research across disciplines and then translates it into everyday language, empowering regular people to make scientifically informed decisions for the best of their health and well-being.
For 25 years, Alkon wrote an award-winning, science-based nationally syndicated advice column, distributed by Creators. With GOING MENOPOSTAL, Alkon has authored five books—most recently, her “science-help” book UNF*CKOLOGY: How to Live with Guts and Confidence (St. Martin’s Press, 2018).
Alkon is the past President of the Applied Evolutionary Psychology Society, which brings evolutionary science to public policy, education, and medicine. She has given invited talks to academics on applied science at scientific conferences and to large groups at universities. She has given two TED talks, and the Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office hires Alkon, a State of California-certified mediator, to do behavioral science-based dispute resolution talks and training videos.
Alkon has been profiled in publications including The New York Times, TIME, The Washington Post, The Independent/UK, and Macleans. Alkon has appeared on numerous national TV and radio shows, including Good Morning America, Today, NPR, CNN, Nightline, Anderson Cooper Live, and Canada’s The Agenda with Steve Paikin. Podcasters who've featured her include Joe Rogan, Michael Shermer, Adam Carolla, Robert Wright, and Scott Barry Kaufman.
Alkon lives in Venice, California. Follow Amy Alkon on X: @amyalkon
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 100 reviews
January 22, 2011
I wondered while I read this - how much rudeness is justified when your excuse is that you're trying to make other people not act in a way that you consider rude?
It was also interesting how much trouble she had getting cooperation from others - maybe her own rudeness and confrontational attitude had something to do with that?
It was also interesting how much trouble she had getting cooperation from others - maybe her own rudeness and confrontational attitude had something to do with that?
July 4, 2015
At one point, Alkon describes a letter she's written as "co-written by the angry eighth-grader in me." That's sort of the way the whole book felt. (Also having posted other people's home phone numbers on her blog so her readers could harass them, I'm not entirely convinced she should be throwing stones about another blogger's readers leaving nasty comments on her blog.)
June 8, 2014
Much of this book is a rant and the author patting herself on the back for attacking bad behavior for the good of humanity. Her willingness to relentlessly go after corporate nuisances in the form of telemarketing is amusing. The discussion of "underparented" children includes many valid points.
I had difficulty understanding, though, how publicly shaming people for inconsiderate use of cell phones was anything other than responding to bad behavior with more bad behavior. Certainly there are obnoxious cell phone users, but the outrage over public use of cell phones seems dated.
I had difficulty understanding, though, how publicly shaming people for inconsiderate use of cell phones was anything other than responding to bad behavior with more bad behavior. Certainly there are obnoxious cell phone users, but the outrage over public use of cell phones seems dated.
August 6, 2017
I didn't finish this book, I just couldn't take any more rude people or the ranting of the author. I was expecting short stories about her experiences and how she could put a comedic spin on coping in the moment. The chapters were too long and at some point we all need to practice "adulting": learn to not get all bent out of shape, convict with kindness, practice acceptance or in some rare instances kindly call the person out when there is true invasion of personal space.
October 22, 2015
I am bothered by rude people as much as Alkon. Unfortunately for her, I also have no patience for people who whine and complain, which is what a good amount of this book is. But for the last chapter, everything is a complaint or a self-congratulatory memoir about how good she is at "getting" the bad guy.
May 17, 2010
Let me begin with a complaint: two of the ruder things (at least in my opinion) that people regularly do (smoking and bathing in Axe and other stinky scented products) are not included. I consider this a major shortcoming. With that out of the way, I liked this little book and its insights into how rude modern society is and how unaware people are of how their actions affect others. But most of my enjoyment of this book stems from Ms. Alkon's determination to end modern ill manners - she's this bizarre version of Miss Manners, Investigative Reporter, and it works because of her humor (which is good, because some of her actions seemed a bit, well, much). She refuses to let people walk all over her and doesn't take no for an answer (in one of the funniest parts of the book, Bank of America cancels her account after she asks too many questions about how they allowed someone to take thousands of dollars out of her account with a fake I.D. that was an expired driver's license). Having the opportunity to hear her speak only reinforced my belief in her crusade to make us all more aware of the people around us. Recommended.
August 24, 2014
Whatever made me want to read this book? I can't remember. It's not very interesting. Some of the conflicts are interesting -- she's mad about public cell phone use, she's mad about police who won't investigate her stolen car even when she phones them to tell them where she just saw it, she's mad about Bank of America who give her money away to a fraudster with a fake driver's license and then won't investigate it, she's mad about getting phone calls from companies who want to waste her time -- but the endless followup, however effective (in a few cases) it may be, just doesn't turn out to make very satisfying reading.
The things a woman can get away in the never-ending battle for some kind of decency and politeness in the public sphere -- "Don't you want to help me? I have large breasts," as she puts it -- yelling at people who are talking on the phone in public, for example -- are not things a guy can deploy without expecting to be physically assaulted. So I'm afraid Ms. Alkon is not so much a force for good as she is a bit of a flake.
The things a woman can get away in the never-ending battle for some kind of decency and politeness in the public sphere -- "Don't you want to help me? I have large breasts," as she puts it -- yelling at people who are talking on the phone in public, for example -- are not things a guy can deploy without expecting to be physically assaulted. So I'm afraid Ms. Alkon is not so much a force for good as she is a bit of a flake.
December 21, 2010
I love this book! The subtitle is "One woman's battle to beat some manners into impolite society." Yeah, I've felt that way quite a lot as I get older; I find myself wanting to go up to people and say "Didn't your mother teach you any better?" Seems like rude people are everywhere you turn around, making one wonder why we ever walk out our front doors in the first place.
No one is safe from Alkon: lax parents, internet bullies, rude drivers, negligent businesses, telemarketers, car thieves, and cell phone "yakkers" all bear the brunt of her displeasure, and her attention. What's more interesting to me is that she takes on what really is a serious subject, injects it with enough humor to keep you reading, and gives you some history/anthropology lessons to boot.
See, we've always been rude, us humans. We're just noticing it more in today's modern world. Way back when, say during the Stone Age (OK, you could even go as far forward as Hunter-Gatherer societies), we wanted to act out - but we caved (pardon the pun) to peer pressure. Basically, if you were the snottiest one of the small group, you could and would be left behind by your fellow cavemen if you misbehaved; you needed them to survive. Alkon points out that there are still "nice" societies in our complex world today, but they tend to have no more than 150 people in them. Anything above that and you start to lose the peer pressure, thus resulting in boorish behavior.
Perhaps the most novel advent in the war on manners is the Internet. While there are several cases of cyber-bullying in the news these days, there are also people like Alkon who have taken to "blogslapping" - outing people via the blogs regarding bad behavior. Think of all the viral videos you see about cops beating suspects, teachers freaking out on kids, etc, and you know what I'm talking about. Alkon theorizes that this is the new way in which we will exert peer pressure, a way that will hopefully make people more aware of their actions - or at least more aware that there are people out there watching them.
The stories are too funny, from Alkon tracking down the home address and phone number of telemarketing execs (and yes, she calls them during dinner!) to her quest to track down the man who stole her beloved Pink Rambler - and her subsequent harassment of said thief. She's not shy about what she wants, and she's a journalist who knows how to get it. My advice? Mind your P's and Q's because there's a very good chance that someone out there is watching you.
No one is safe from Alkon: lax parents, internet bullies, rude drivers, negligent businesses, telemarketers, car thieves, and cell phone "yakkers" all bear the brunt of her displeasure, and her attention. What's more interesting to me is that she takes on what really is a serious subject, injects it with enough humor to keep you reading, and gives you some history/anthropology lessons to boot.
See, we've always been rude, us humans. We're just noticing it more in today's modern world. Way back when, say during the Stone Age (OK, you could even go as far forward as Hunter-Gatherer societies), we wanted to act out - but we caved (pardon the pun) to peer pressure. Basically, if you were the snottiest one of the small group, you could and would be left behind by your fellow cavemen if you misbehaved; you needed them to survive. Alkon points out that there are still "nice" societies in our complex world today, but they tend to have no more than 150 people in them. Anything above that and you start to lose the peer pressure, thus resulting in boorish behavior.
Perhaps the most novel advent in the war on manners is the Internet. While there are several cases of cyber-bullying in the news these days, there are also people like Alkon who have taken to "blogslapping" - outing people via the blogs regarding bad behavior. Think of all the viral videos you see about cops beating suspects, teachers freaking out on kids, etc, and you know what I'm talking about. Alkon theorizes that this is the new way in which we will exert peer pressure, a way that will hopefully make people more aware of their actions - or at least more aware that there are people out there watching them.
The stories are too funny, from Alkon tracking down the home address and phone number of telemarketing execs (and yes, she calls them during dinner!) to her quest to track down the man who stole her beloved Pink Rambler - and her subsequent harassment of said thief. She's not shy about what she wants, and she's a journalist who knows how to get it. My advice? Mind your P's and Q's because there's a very good chance that someone out there is watching you.
June 20, 2012
For a non-fiction book, this was quite an enjoyable read. I read it on my Kindle, but according to Amazon, the paperback is 224 page. I went through it in under 24 hours (including the acknowledgements). So, it clearly held my attention and, while not a page-turner in the sense of a thrilling mystery or action-packed novel, I was obviously turning the pages… quickly.
I figured this would happen, since Ms. Alkon’s writing voice is, in my opinion, hilarious. It’s not that she says things I don’t think, it’s more that she does… in an ad absurdum kind of way. Or, she’ll say the glaringly obvious things I’ve really wanted to say, but couldn’t quite put into words. I knew this from her blog. This is probably why I picked up this particular non-fiction book in the first place.
As to content, it is clear, understandable, informative, and allows for fact checking (I’m a nerd, I love foot/end notes, deal with it). It also presents stuff we all know along with stuff we probably don’t – without making me feel like an idiot. Information is often presented with story-like examples, which makes it both readable and interesting to those of us who tend to prefer a good story to a good college textbook.
Since Ms. Alkon’s skin is apparently made from adamantium, she does things to annoying people most of us would only dream of. This is amusing in its own right. (For those of you familiar with the Dresden Files series, I tend to think Ms. Alkon is what you’d get if Dresden had been created as a female non-wizard character – just replace the Blue Beetle with a Pink Rambler.)
I would recommend this book for anyone who’s ever been annoyed to tears (or long venting sessions) by people being rude. Anyone who enjoyed the Grrr! columns (by Mike Straka) from about 6-7 years ago would enjoy this book, as would most people who enjoy the Dresden Files.
I would argue that this would be a good gift for many teenagers – not because I think they are rude, but because I think many want to improve the world they live in, but don’t quite know how, and this book gives everyday examples. Also, it is my experience that many teenagers enjoy snarky humor.
I would suggest this to anyone who wonders how to make the world a nicer, better place. (Oh yeah, to people in psychology and stuff like that, too).
I figured this would happen, since Ms. Alkon’s writing voice is, in my opinion, hilarious. It’s not that she says things I don’t think, it’s more that she does… in an ad absurdum kind of way. Or, she’ll say the glaringly obvious things I’ve really wanted to say, but couldn’t quite put into words. I knew this from her blog. This is probably why I picked up this particular non-fiction book in the first place.
As to content, it is clear, understandable, informative, and allows for fact checking (I’m a nerd, I love foot/end notes, deal with it). It also presents stuff we all know along with stuff we probably don’t – without making me feel like an idiot. Information is often presented with story-like examples, which makes it both readable and interesting to those of us who tend to prefer a good story to a good college textbook.
Since Ms. Alkon’s skin is apparently made from adamantium, she does things to annoying people most of us would only dream of. This is amusing in its own right. (For those of you familiar with the Dresden Files series, I tend to think Ms. Alkon is what you’d get if Dresden had been created as a female non-wizard character – just replace the Blue Beetle with a Pink Rambler.)
I would recommend this book for anyone who’s ever been annoyed to tears (or long venting sessions) by people being rude. Anyone who enjoyed the Grrr! columns (by Mike Straka) from about 6-7 years ago would enjoy this book, as would most people who enjoy the Dresden Files.
I would argue that this would be a good gift for many teenagers – not because I think they are rude, but because I think many want to improve the world they live in, but don’t quite know how, and this book gives everyday examples. Also, it is my experience that many teenagers enjoy snarky humor.
I would suggest this to anyone who wonders how to make the world a nicer, better place. (Oh yeah, to people in psychology and stuff like that, too).
December 24, 2015
The book was a long rant you can find on any blog site in the frustration of dealing with rude American people. My ideal of a fun read must be entirely different from most as I felt this was too juvenile, blustering in tone, and the redundancy on overheard unintended/intended/no care tmi's (too much information, peeps) loudmouth cell phone conversations. Now keep in mind, I read almost anything, and perhaps I was not at all the intended audience for I See Rude People's readers. Some readers may find Alkon's quirkiness quite enjoyable. In all fairness, it may not be my cup of tea as humor is very subjective. What Joe Average finds funny in one instance Joe Public may not find funny. The decline of manners in our American culture is one thing I could not agree any further and dealt all too well being the receiving end of countless rude people. I shiver when I have to go shopping...
January 3, 2010
Hilarious! Whenever you get annoyed with idiots on their cell phones, telemarketers, unruly children, bad banks, pick up this book and follow the authors lead in seeking your revenge. She has lots of good ideas about how to try to teach the world some manners. It's absolutely delightful to read about how tenaciously she has followed through with some of these clever plans, eg., charging the telemarketing company for her time, AND COLLECTING!
This book is for all of us who get annoyed at bad behavior, but it's also for our friends and relatives who tell us to calm down, that there's nothing to be gained by getting angry about it. Amy Alkon says the opposite, basically, that we don't have to be passive victims of bad behavior. There are rational and reasonable steps that can be taken to thwart the rudeness and/or train these barbarians, one cell-phone user at a time.
This book is for all of us who get annoyed at bad behavior, but it's also for our friends and relatives who tell us to calm down, that there's nothing to be gained by getting angry about it. Amy Alkon says the opposite, basically, that we don't have to be passive victims of bad behavior. There are rational and reasonable steps that can be taken to thwart the rudeness and/or train these barbarians, one cell-phone user at a time.
June 29, 2010
Very interesting! The author does seem to 'cross the line' in her effort to combat rudeness on occasion, but she has a point! And since she is a journalist, she uses her encounters in her writing. I really liked the section on how American parents have abdicated their responsibility for discipline and that the kids are in charge in many families; she compares that with French parents and it's eye-opening. She takes on Bank of America, telemarketers (charges them for the time they steal from her at dinner time--great concept!), rude drivers, cell-phone users. Nice to know that someone is out there fighting for Miss Manners. And she gives some great tips on dealing with rudeness, too. Definitely worth the read.
December 21, 2009
I decided to read this book after seeing Amy Alkon, who writes the blog advicegoddess.com, on the Dr. Phil show. We all know from daily living how manners have deteriorated in recent decades, but Amy does not just sit back and take it. She speaks up. She takes pictures of cars that cut her off in traffic and posts them on her blog. She bills telemarketers for interrupting her dinner and even took one of them to court (and won!). She tracked down the thief who stole her pink Rambler and harassed him so much that he gave it back! The stories are fun and even inspiring. We don't have to put up with rudeness. Perhaps if more people spoke up,the world could become a little nicer.
March 11, 2010
We don't have to take rudeness lying down - but be CAREFUL...
Amy Alkon seems to have a talent to stay out of the way of scary rude people, but can call the rest of them to the mat. She says what I feel. She's inspiring to those who prefer to be doormats to rudeness.
We were able to see her at a signing. It was a treat. She attracted a few hecklers, understandable. They were expecting Emily Post's granddaughter or something. This is NOT that kind of book. It's a woman's story of how SHE has tackled rudeness and her challenges to us.
She invites us to stand up for ourselves and take action. If you want something about proper social behavior - this is NOT your book.
Amy Alkon seems to have a talent to stay out of the way of scary rude people, but can call the rest of them to the mat. She says what I feel. She's inspiring to those who prefer to be doormats to rudeness.
We were able to see her at a signing. It was a treat. She attracted a few hecklers, understandable. They were expecting Emily Post's granddaughter or something. This is NOT that kind of book. It's a woman's story of how SHE has tackled rudeness and her challenges to us.
She invites us to stand up for ourselves and take action. If you want something about proper social behavior - this is NOT your book.
June 3, 2013
Amy Alkon is one of the cleverest writers out there. Her wit is a sharp instrument, and she uses it not just to get a laugh here and there, but also to make you think. She's fearless as she calls rude people on their behavior - from the guy talking on his cell phone and holding up the line (because he's talking, not paying) to telemarketers who unashamedly call all hours of the day. In addition, she also goes into detail about some of the reasons we're seeing an increase of rudeness and selfish behavior in society today. Ms. Alkon's book is a great read, and a lot of people on my Christmas list will be getting a copy. Hopefully they won't think I'm hinting that they're rude ;-)
October 13, 2017
There is a long subtitle to this one, which pretty much says it all: “One woman’s battle to beat some manners into impolite society”. The author is a blogger and has an advice column. She is quite outspoken when it comes to people being rude. There are chapters on people talking loudly on their cell phones (one of my pet peeves!), parents who don’t parent, telemarketers, and more.
I really enjoyed this. There was plenty of humour and I applaud her for standing up to some of these people! She goes to extremes in some cases (like with the telemarketers… or hunting down the guy who stole her car, and trying to hunt down whoever stole her identity), but good for her!
I really enjoyed this. There was plenty of humour and I applaud her for standing up to some of these people! She goes to extremes in some cases (like with the telemarketers… or hunting down the guy who stole her car, and trying to hunt down whoever stole her identity), but good for her!
November 13, 2009
I bought this, because I work at a high school, and, consequently, I think about manners a lot. Her specific examples about not just taking it when people are rude to you were very inspiring. I especially liked her invoicing for time wasted, I've done that, even if you don't get money it is great fun. Check out her blog: http://www.advicegoddess.com/goddessb...
July 1, 2010
I like the idea of the Dunbar principle, holding each other accountable, and calling people out on rude behavior. I also like the idea of teaching kids restaurant manners. I didn't get the whole Bank of America chapter. It was so long and didn't fit well with the rest of the book. Worth the read? Sure.
December 1, 2015
Outstanding - from the account of the author tracking down the man who stole her pink Nash Rambler and hounding him relentlessly to the inspiring accounts of not-rude people at the end, this book had me laughing, wincing, and thinking. She does beat some horses a few minutes past dead, e.g. the public impact of obnoxious cell phone use and feral children, but it's a fun read.
September 4, 2020
She's just as rude as the people she complains about -- and what does it say about you if other people's behavior is THIS upsetting to you? That, and these things she claims are "everywhere" are things I've only seen once or twice, if ever. If she wants people to be polite, maybe she should move to the South. And treat people nicely.
May 1, 2010
The idea is a lot better than the execution. It should have been funny and smart and wasn't really either. Couldn't finish it.
December 6, 2009
I'm at least as positively-inclined towards politeness and good manners as the next person. But this is merely an excuse to spout venom at those people with the audacity to annoy her.
Pass.
Pass.
didnt-finish
December 20, 2010Nice concept, but the author was just a bit too over the top for me.
July 29, 2015
My new idol and inspiration for creative retribution against those who do her wrong. Also: very funny.
April 30, 2010
Sh*t! It would break my heart if I found out that author/columnist Amy Alkon didn't pick up her dog's poop.
This book fills the Revengerella part of my heart that longs to rage at cell phone users, business cheats (Bank of America, you better watch out) and "underparenting." Instead of just sitting in silence and fuming, like I tend to do, Amy Alkon takes on the people who have lost all sense of social shame and are public boors, like the people who let their dog poop on the sidewalk in front of my house.
Amy has the nerve (the balls? the chutzpah? the bravery?) to charge a woman for taking up her time with her cell phone call in the coffee shop that bans cell phone usage. Amy charges the woman $1, and the woman only has a twenty. So Amy waits for her to get change! I love it.
Alkon is my second favorite columnist - and she truly is an Advice Goddess. http://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-colum.... If I were single, I'd hire Amy as my life coach.
Alkon uses modern science (and a little bit of Adam Smith) to explain why people are suddenly acting like a**holes. Dunbar's Number explains that the human brain can't really have focus on or have stable relationships with more than 150 people, roughly. And when the 150 people we most love and care for are in different cities, states or even countries, we lose a little bit of the social guidance we would normally have. If you know someone will report you to your grandmother after leaving your table all crumb-y at the coffee shop, you'd pick up after yourself. But since everyone in your city is a stranger, we tend to behave like jerks. (See The Tragedy of the Commons.)
But this isn't just about Amy's crusade to make America bettered-mannered. I also loved Lynne Truss' campaign for apostrophe lovers to go around with a black Magic Marker and correct misspelled signs. This book is funny. From Amy harassing the man who stole her car, to charging people who take up her valuable time with telemarketing phone-calls, I laughed in agreement in just about every chapter.
I even wrote Amy, asking for a script on how to deal with parents who let little Junior run wild and hurt my kids. She wrote me back, telling me that she's at a book fair right now, but that she will write back. I can't wait for her next book, where she tells people to pick up their dog's poop, and other tragedies of the Common and I've even ordered her previous book "Free Advice."
This book fills the Revengerella part of my heart that longs to rage at cell phone users, business cheats (Bank of America, you better watch out) and "underparenting." Instead of just sitting in silence and fuming, like I tend to do, Amy Alkon takes on the people who have lost all sense of social shame and are public boors, like the people who let their dog poop on the sidewalk in front of my house.
Amy has the nerve (the balls? the chutzpah? the bravery?) to charge a woman for taking up her time with her cell phone call in the coffee shop that bans cell phone usage. Amy charges the woman $1, and the woman only has a twenty. So Amy waits for her to get change! I love it.
Alkon is my second favorite columnist - and she truly is an Advice Goddess. http://www.advicegoddess.com/ag-colum.... If I were single, I'd hire Amy as my life coach.
Alkon uses modern science (and a little bit of Adam Smith) to explain why people are suddenly acting like a**holes. Dunbar's Number explains that the human brain can't really have focus on or have stable relationships with more than 150 people, roughly. And when the 150 people we most love and care for are in different cities, states or even countries, we lose a little bit of the social guidance we would normally have. If you know someone will report you to your grandmother after leaving your table all crumb-y at the coffee shop, you'd pick up after yourself. But since everyone in your city is a stranger, we tend to behave like jerks. (See The Tragedy of the Commons.)
But this isn't just about Amy's crusade to make America bettered-mannered. I also loved Lynne Truss' campaign for apostrophe lovers to go around with a black Magic Marker and correct misspelled signs. This book is funny. From Amy harassing the man who stole her car, to charging people who take up her valuable time with telemarketing phone-calls, I laughed in agreement in just about every chapter.
I even wrote Amy, asking for a script on how to deal with parents who let little Junior run wild and hurt my kids. She wrote me back, telling me that she's at a book fair right now, but that she will write back. I can't wait for her next book, where she tells people to pick up their dog's poop, and other tragedies of the Common and I've even ordered her previous book "Free Advice."
December 5, 2015
I'm not sure Amy Alkon and I would agree on much if we were having a political conversation, but she's fierce and right on the mark in this funny and informative book. As the title implies, she attacks America's growing solipsism and declining courtesy. Helpfully, she does it via hilarious tales that teach you how to use your brain and some basic research skills to take back your personal space, wasted time and lost money.
Cell phone oversharers? She's got that, recounting the incident and sharing all the information she gleaned on her very public blog. Steal her car? She'll find you before the cops do. Bad customer service or annoying "phone surveys"? The company CEO better look out -- nothing criminal, of course, but this woman is prepared track you down and call you at home, at midnight . . . AND bill you for her lost time. Mess with her money or her identity? Ouch. Treat her as if she doesn't matter? She's not afraid to name names; some very public entities get skewered, hard. Her awesome personal vendetta against B of A is an act of heroism.
Alkon regales us in a style that reads exactly like what it is -- a smart, funny, nasty advice column. She's brash, breezy, and appealingly mean, but her prose isn't the highlight. Nope, you'll want to read this book because Alkon's own experiences give readers a toolkit for reclaiming what they've lost, even if it's just a temper. Hidden in her snark is how-to manual for everything from teaching boors a public lesson to reclaiming your stolen identity; I See Rude People is packed with detailed advice and perfectly legal methods of getting yours back. Some just illustrate sweet petty justice on annoying douchebags (which I roundly applaud, but lack the energy for -- maybe when I retire); others could be of real assistance in more serious situations.
Here's one great example: I didn't know you could freeze your own credit score if you suspect your identity has been compromised. Not only will it save damage to your credit rating, but when the thief tries to apply for a credit card in your name, the merchant or bank will be alerted by the frozen score. Overnight, your identity is of much less use to anyone but you. Unfreeze it when you've sorted out the problem. It's practical knowledge like this that makes a 3.5 star book get rounded up to four.
Cell phone oversharers? She's got that, recounting the incident and sharing all the information she gleaned on her very public blog. Steal her car? She'll find you before the cops do. Bad customer service or annoying "phone surveys"? The company CEO better look out -- nothing criminal, of course, but this woman is prepared track you down and call you at home, at midnight . . . AND bill you for her lost time. Mess with her money or her identity? Ouch. Treat her as if she doesn't matter? She's not afraid to name names; some very public entities get skewered, hard. Her awesome personal vendetta against B of A is an act of heroism.
Alkon regales us in a style that reads exactly like what it is -- a smart, funny, nasty advice column. She's brash, breezy, and appealingly mean, but her prose isn't the highlight. Nope, you'll want to read this book because Alkon's own experiences give readers a toolkit for reclaiming what they've lost, even if it's just a temper. Hidden in her snark is how-to manual for everything from teaching boors a public lesson to reclaiming your stolen identity; I See Rude People is packed with detailed advice and perfectly legal methods of getting yours back. Some just illustrate sweet petty justice on annoying douchebags (which I roundly applaud, but lack the energy for -- maybe when I retire); others could be of real assistance in more serious situations.
Here's one great example: I didn't know you could freeze your own credit score if you suspect your identity has been compromised. Not only will it save damage to your credit rating, but when the thief tries to apply for a credit card in your name, the merchant or bank will be alerted by the frozen score. Overnight, your identity is of much less use to anyone but you. Unfreeze it when you've sorted out the problem. It's practical knowledge like this that makes a 3.5 star book get rounded up to four.
August 2, 2010
Within 4 paragraphs of opening this book, I knew that I had found a kindred spirit. Though Amy Alkon uses much more colorful language than I do, I found myself nodding in agreement with her missions to get her car back as well as stop telemarketing. And if there was ever a time I would pull the "You go girl!" it would probably be on the sidelines of her fight to recivilize America.
Some musings:
1. I agree cell phone users -and frantic texters- are annoying. (though, if I am honest, I think part of my annoyance comes from not being able to hear both sides of the conversation. I admit it, I am an eavesdropper.) I am also a bit of a techno-phobe; I honestly don't understand what is so important that face to face contact must be halted for the sake of a electronic nuisance.
2. I need to guard my identity without abandon. See chapter 5. It is far easier to steal someone's identity than it is to repair your own stolen identity. Reading this chapter took my paranoia to new heights.
3. "Unfortunately, while you need a license to cut hair, you need only working ovaries to have a child." Page 118. Amen.
4. I think I will start charging people for wasting my time.
5. "The saying is 'Do unto others,' not 'Doo unto others.'" Page 34.
I accidentally bumped into it in the reference section of the library, and overall it was a fun little read. As I mentioned, she writes with swear words, but if you are looking for a snarky (her word, not mine) book that bolsters your drive to speak up against rudeness, this is worth your time.
Some musings:
1. I agree cell phone users -and frantic texters- are annoying. (though, if I am honest, I think part of my annoyance comes from not being able to hear both sides of the conversation. I admit it, I am an eavesdropper.) I am also a bit of a techno-phobe; I honestly don't understand what is so important that face to face contact must be halted for the sake of a electronic nuisance.
2. I need to guard my identity without abandon. See chapter 5. It is far easier to steal someone's identity than it is to repair your own stolen identity. Reading this chapter took my paranoia to new heights.
3. "Unfortunately, while you need a license to cut hair, you need only working ovaries to have a child." Page 118. Amen.
4. I think I will start charging people for wasting my time.
5. "The saying is 'Do unto others,' not 'Doo unto others.'" Page 34.
I accidentally bumped into it in the reference section of the library, and overall it was a fun little read. As I mentioned, she writes with swear words, but if you are looking for a snarky (her word, not mine) book that bolsters your drive to speak up against rudeness, this is worth your time.
March 24, 2022
If you like her column you will like this book. If not then After chapter one, decide if you like her humor.
Nutshell: She gets the revenge on people who don't know there are other people in the universe that most of us would like to but few of us do. I'd marry a tough funny human girl like AMY.
Plagiarized from Anne:
Amy Alkon is one of the cleverest writers out there. Her wit is a sharp instrument, and she uses it not just to get a laugh here and there, but also to make you think. She's fearless as she calls rude people on their behavior - from the guy talking on his cell phone and holding up the line (because he's talking, not paying) to telemarketers who unashamedly call all hours of the day. In addition, she also goes into detail about some of the reasons we're seeing an increase of rudeness and selfish behavior in society today. Ms. Alkon's book is a great read, and a lot of people on my Christmas list will be getting a copy. Hopefully they won't think I'm hinting that they're rude ;-)
and from Laurie:
manners have deteriorated in recent decades, but Amy does not just sit back and take it. She speaks up. She takes pictures of cars that cut her off in traffic and posts them on her blog. She bills telemarketers for interrupting her dinner and even took one of them to court (and won!). She tracked down the thief who stole her pink Rambler and harassed him so much that he gave it back! The stories are fun and even inspiring. We don't have to put up with rudeness. Perhaps if more people spoke up,the world could become a little nicer
Nutshell: She gets the revenge on people who don't know there are other people in the universe that most of us would like to but few of us do. I'd marry a tough funny human girl like AMY.
Plagiarized from Anne:
Amy Alkon is one of the cleverest writers out there. Her wit is a sharp instrument, and she uses it not just to get a laugh here and there, but also to make you think. She's fearless as she calls rude people on their behavior - from the guy talking on his cell phone and holding up the line (because he's talking, not paying) to telemarketers who unashamedly call all hours of the day. In addition, she also goes into detail about some of the reasons we're seeing an increase of rudeness and selfish behavior in society today. Ms. Alkon's book is a great read, and a lot of people on my Christmas list will be getting a copy. Hopefully they won't think I'm hinting that they're rude ;-)
and from Laurie:
manners have deteriorated in recent decades, but Amy does not just sit back and take it. She speaks up. She takes pictures of cars that cut her off in traffic and posts them on her blog. She bills telemarketers for interrupting her dinner and even took one of them to court (and won!). She tracked down the thief who stole her pink Rambler and harassed him so much that he gave it back! The stories are fun and even inspiring. We don't have to put up with rudeness. Perhaps if more people spoke up,the world could become a little nicer
March 3, 2012
This is a well-researched, funny, and thought provoking book. Amy tells how she has battled rude people through the years including hunting down the man who stole her car and badgering him until he returned it and taking on Bank of America when she suffered from identity theft due to their errors. In many ways, Amy herself sounds rather rude, but, objectively, what she says and does, makes sense and from the photo on the cover on the book she does NOT look like a tranny. You will have to read the book to see what that refers to. I found it interesting that research shows that our brains are wired to function well in a community of up to 150 people without needing any policing, but when there are more people than that, we need laws, rules, and law enforcers. Her thoughts on poor parenting, and the fact that all adults participate in telling children how to behave in France, are quite interesting. Her stories of how she fines and sues telephone solicitors for wasting her time, and hunts down criminals who are misguided enough to mess with her are very funny and while I won't do those things myself, it is satisfying to know that someone does and that at least some annoying telemarketers, spammers and criminals are getting back some of what they dish out.
April 8, 2011
Amy puts rude people in their place-by sometimes being rude herself! While that might affront some people, I found it wildly hilarious and entertaining. When I correct someone out in public (and I do more often then I realized), I try to be nice, but sometimes people need a good bitch-slapping. Amy is definitely the gal to do it.
Wonderful personal stories, great advice (like freezing your credit reports), and plenty of websites for information and tools. I love that she invoices telemarketers. And Amy doesn't go after the poor person who is forced to call her just to make a dime, she goes after the fat cats who feel like invading our time and privacy is just fine as long as it saves them a buck.
I agree that there is a distinct lack of manners, etiquette and common courtesy in our society. Don't lay down and take it. Let people know that they are being rude, inconsiderate, and even stepping on your rights! But maybe try doing it politely first, and if that doesn't work, feel free to take the gloves off.
Wonderful personal stories, great advice (like freezing your credit reports), and plenty of websites for information and tools. I love that she invoices telemarketers. And Amy doesn't go after the poor person who is forced to call her just to make a dime, she goes after the fat cats who feel like invading our time and privacy is just fine as long as it saves them a buck.
I agree that there is a distinct lack of manners, etiquette and common courtesy in our society. Don't lay down and take it. Let people know that they are being rude, inconsiderate, and even stepping on your rights! But maybe try doing it politely first, and if that doesn't work, feel free to take the gloves off.
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