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An infant left in the trash to die. A teenage mother who never knew she was pregnant . . . Before That Morning, these were the words most often used to describe straight-A student and star soccer player Devon Davenport: responsible, hardworking, mature. But all that changes when the police find Devon home sick from school as they investigate the case of an abandoned baby. Soon the connection is made[Devon has just given birth; the baby in the trash is hers. After That Morning, there's only one way to define Devon: attempted murderer. And yet gifted author Amy Efaw does the impossible[ she turns Devon into an empathetic character, a girl who was in such deep denial that she refused to believe she was pregnant. Through airtight writing and fast-paced, gripping storytelling, Ms. Efaw takes the reader on Devon's unforgettable journey toward clarity, acceptance, and redemption.
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First published August 11, 2009
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,915 reviews
March 28, 2010
I have so many problems with this book.
1. I always deem it slightly unfair of me to say a book should have been written in a different way, since that's not my job as a reader to decide. HOWEVER. The juvenile detention/courtroom procedures were hardly the most intriguing part of this story to me, and yet that's the majority of what we got. If I wanted that I'd just watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit which at least has theatre actors in guest-starring roles and bizarro plotlines that make me laugh.
2. The mom is so ridiculous. If there's a stereotype about a whore/bad mother not included here, I'd like to hear it. (Actually I would not. Just saying.) Also, and this is tied up with a forthcoming issue I had, the revelation Devon has about her mom toward the end is really unfair in my opinion. I suppose we're allowed to believe up until then Devon had just been unfair and one-sided, but for me it was frustrating watching after pages and pages of letting us know how effing whorey and bad-mom-y Devon's mom was, and then being told that was all OK because at least the mom had had Devon and changed her diapers and stuff. It reads like anti-choice rhetoric to me. It's not about being a good, loving parent that's important, noooo. It's not about making choices you're actually OK with. It's about giving birth and being a mom to a baby no matter how you feel about that pregnancy.
3. Right, and that. Devon's turnaround at the end. Ms. Efaw, I am horrified at this lesson. I am so angry that a girl who's gone through so much pain, physically and emotionally, who is obviously in need of psychiatric counseling and perhaps a foster family who will be there for her, casts all of that aside to teach us a tidy little lesson about What We Ladies Owe To Our Babies.
I'd love to read a thoughtful, feminist exploration of a girl in denial of her sexuality, her pregnancy, her labor and childbirth. Someone out there! Write it.
(read: 30)
1. I always deem it slightly unfair of me to say a book should have been written in a different way, since that's not my job as a reader to decide. HOWEVER. The juvenile detention/courtroom procedures were hardly the most intriguing part of this story to me, and yet that's the majority of what we got. If I wanted that I'd just watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit which at least has theatre actors in guest-starring roles and bizarro plotlines that make me laugh.
2. The mom is so ridiculous. If there's a stereotype about a whore/bad mother not included here, I'd like to hear it. (Actually I would not. Just saying.) Also, and this is tied up with a forthcoming issue I had, the revelation Devon has about her mom toward the end is really unfair in my opinion. I suppose we're allowed to believe up until then Devon had just been unfair and one-sided, but for me it was frustrating watching after pages and pages of letting us know how effing whorey and bad-mom-y Devon's mom was, and then being told that was all OK because at least the mom had had Devon and changed her diapers and stuff. It reads like anti-choice rhetoric to me. It's not about being a good, loving parent that's important, noooo. It's not about making choices you're actually OK with. It's about giving birth and being a mom to a baby no matter how you feel about that pregnancy.
3. Right, and that. Devon's turnaround at the end. Ms. Efaw, I am horrified at this lesson. I am so angry that a girl who's gone through so much pain, physically and emotionally, who is obviously in need of psychiatric counseling and perhaps a foster family who will be there for her, casts all of that aside to teach us a tidy little lesson about What We Ladies Owe To Our Babies.
I'd love to read a thoughtful, feminist exploration of a girl in denial of her sexuality, her pregnancy, her labor and childbirth. Someone out there! Write it.
(read: 30)
April 25, 2009
**A PSEUDO REVIEW FOR THOSE WONDERING WHAT THIS IS ABOUT**
(The publisher asked for a review to be posted around the pub date, which is in August, which means I won't get around to it for a while. But here you have a bit of a preview!)
It's about this girl, Devon, who dumps her baby in the trash. She's fifteen. The book opens with her mom coming home from her bartending job and Devon lying in the couch almost unconscious. Her mom's kind of flaky, so she doesn't even notice how sick Devon is, just semi-chastises her for missing school and launches into a story of how they'd found a baby in the dumpster just outside their apartment complex. A few minutes later, a police officer comes knocking on the door with his partner, because they're canvassing the place. He asks the mom if she'd heard anything or knew of anyone who'd been pregnant lately. She says she had JUST gotten home, and said Devon might know something, all the while flirting with the officers.
So they come in and see Devon there on the couch, losing consciousness. Her mom gets annoyed that she won't get up and begins tugging on her to do so. Then she yanks the big, bulky blanket Devon was under, and they all see all this blood around her legs and lower stomach. The officers arrest her, her mom goes crazy, and she loses consciousness.
The book chronicles what happened before and after that -- some flashbacks explaining how Devon, this super devoted, serious student and über talented soccer player, became pregnant and came to dump her baby, and the court process. It's a truly compelling read. What I truly loved is that it doesn't get overbearing or try to justify the crime itself, but rather explains how Devon - or any girl, really - might get there. There wasn't any condescending or overly sympathetic tone in the narrative, no interruption from the author, absolutely nothing--very straightforward.
I will say the ending sort of disappointed me, but I'd still recommend this book in a heartbeat.
(Will I have anything for a proper review now? :P)
(The publisher asked for a review to be posted around the pub date, which is in August, which means I won't get around to it for a while. But here you have a bit of a preview!)
It's about this girl, Devon, who dumps her baby in the trash. She's fifteen. The book opens with her mom coming home from her bartending job and Devon lying in the couch almost unconscious. Her mom's kind of flaky, so she doesn't even notice how sick Devon is, just semi-chastises her for missing school and launches into a story of how they'd found a baby in the dumpster just outside their apartment complex. A few minutes later, a police officer comes knocking on the door with his partner, because they're canvassing the place. He asks the mom if she'd heard anything or knew of anyone who'd been pregnant lately. She says she had JUST gotten home, and said Devon might know something, all the while flirting with the officers.
So they come in and see Devon there on the couch, losing consciousness. Her mom gets annoyed that she won't get up and begins tugging on her to do so. Then she yanks the big, bulky blanket Devon was under, and they all see all this blood around her legs and lower stomach. The officers arrest her, her mom goes crazy, and she loses consciousness.
The book chronicles what happened before and after that -- some flashbacks explaining how Devon, this super devoted, serious student and über talented soccer player, became pregnant and came to dump her baby, and the court process. It's a truly compelling read. What I truly loved is that it doesn't get overbearing or try to justify the crime itself, but rather explains how Devon - or any girl, really - might get there. There wasn't any condescending or overly sympathetic tone in the narrative, no interruption from the author, absolutely nothing--very straightforward.
I will say the ending sort of disappointed me, but I'd still recommend this book in a heartbeat.
(Will I have anything for a proper review now? :P)
February 14, 2011
The first thing I feel the need to address would be my eyes’ constant state of “watering” while reading this book.
I don’t know if it’s the time of year? Do I have a cold or something? It seemed like every time I’d pick this up, my eyes would start over-moisturizing and I’d be blinking in a constant, mighty effort to keep the page from swimming into an unreadable blur.
What else could it have been but a cold? I don’t cry easily. No.
And yet, there I was, at the end of chapter 4, curled up on the couch, hiding behind the book with big, silent tears rolling down my cheeks.
In that short amount of time, Devon had already gotten to my heart.
This book made me sad, so sad. There were times when I wanted to jump inside the pages for just a moment, and hug Devon. Just hug her. She’s such a breakable darling. And this story broke my heart--broke it right in two--and I cried, I cried, I cried.
The very bleakness of the writing, the confusion, the fear, the sadness, the pain…it’s all just there.
This is not a reading experience for the faint of heart. If you want a book that’ll leave you with warm fuzzy feelings at the end, leave you with a smile, then don’t read this.
I surely don’t think that everybody reading this would be reduced to tears by the fifth chapter. Maybe I’m overly emotional, I don’t know. But I think, if this doesn’t make you unspeakably sad in some way, you are quite a robotic brand of humanity.
Of course I don’t want to give away anything, and thus, I can’t give away the ending. But I will say that the ending made sense to me. It seemed right and just and realistic.
Over all, a very thought-provoking, well-researched read. But I only recommend it if you’re feeling particularly fearless. This is painfully real. I can't give it less than five stars, with the subject-matter, and I don’t know what else to say about it. I'm speechless.
I don’t know if it’s the time of year? Do I have a cold or something? It seemed like every time I’d pick this up, my eyes would start over-moisturizing and I’d be blinking in a constant, mighty effort to keep the page from swimming into an unreadable blur.
What else could it have been but a cold? I don’t cry easily. No.
And yet, there I was, at the end of chapter 4, curled up on the couch, hiding behind the book with big, silent tears rolling down my cheeks.
In that short amount of time, Devon had already gotten to my heart.
This book made me sad, so sad. There were times when I wanted to jump inside the pages for just a moment, and hug Devon. Just hug her. She’s such a breakable darling. And this story broke my heart--broke it right in two--and I cried, I cried, I cried.
The very bleakness of the writing, the confusion, the fear, the sadness, the pain…it’s all just there.
This is not a reading experience for the faint of heart. If you want a book that’ll leave you with warm fuzzy feelings at the end, leave you with a smile, then don’t read this.
I surely don’t think that everybody reading this would be reduced to tears by the fifth chapter. Maybe I’m overly emotional, I don’t know. But I think, if this doesn’t make you unspeakably sad in some way, you are quite a robotic brand of humanity.
Of course I don’t want to give away anything, and thus, I can’t give away the ending. But I will say that the ending made sense to me. It seemed right and just and realistic.
Over all, a very thought-provoking, well-researched read. But I only recommend it if you’re feeling particularly fearless. This is painfully real. I can't give it less than five stars, with the subject-matter, and I don’t know what else to say about it. I'm speechless.
September 8, 2016
Props to Amy Efaw. This author made me root for a girl who dumped her baby in a trash bag and feel empathy toward her. Before reading this, I would have said "send her to jail, try her as an adult, who cares about her!" But after reading it, I care about the girl. This author did her job. She made me feel exactly what she wanted me to.
Enter Devon: above-average, smart, atelethic, goal-oriented 15 year old girl. Everything is going for her unitl one day while babysitting she meets a guy. They end up doing the nasty, which is Devon's first and only time, then she decides she will never talk to him again. She is ashamed of herself. She vowed she wouldn't be like her mother-no sex, no relationships until way later in life. She has goals for her future. Something happens after she looses her virginity, she inverts, she starts lying to everyone, including herself. Months go by and she notices herself not feeling good, dragging. She will not admit IT to herself. One night while her Mother is working, she gets sick. So she thinks. She has stomach problems, but not really. She is pregnant and at this moment she is in labor. She panics. She cuts the cord with fingernail clippers. She dumps the baby in a bag. She takes IT out. She goes to sleep. No one knows. Only someone finds this baby screaming, and IT lives. The police eventually track it back to her and she ends up in prison. Will she be considered in trial as an adult or Juvienile? What will people say about her? What is going to happen to her future?
This is another book that I will chant "READ IT, READ IT, READ IT!"
Seriously, this one doesn't feel like a Young Adult book, this has relevance. This book matters. This book opened my eyes and changed my opinion. Do I like it that the girl dumped her baby off? NO! But, I do see what was going through her mind and can't help but feel sorry for her. Good people can do bad things.... Should she be punished? Yes. Like an Adult? No.
Sidenote: I am not endorsing baby dumping!!! There is no excuse for that. I really don't understand why these mothers wouldn't at the very least find a hospital or orphanage or somewhere/someone to give that innocent life to instead of just leaving it there to die!!!!
This and other reviews (and other fun stuff) over on my blog
Messyhousehappylife
Enter Devon: above-average, smart, atelethic, goal-oriented 15 year old girl. Everything is going for her unitl one day while babysitting she meets a guy. They end up doing the nasty, which is Devon's first and only time, then she decides she will never talk to him again. She is ashamed of herself. She vowed she wouldn't be like her mother-no sex, no relationships until way later in life. She has goals for her future. Something happens after she looses her virginity, she inverts, she starts lying to everyone, including herself. Months go by and she notices herself not feeling good, dragging. She will not admit IT to herself. One night while her Mother is working, she gets sick. So she thinks. She has stomach problems, but not really. She is pregnant and at this moment she is in labor. She panics. She cuts the cord with fingernail clippers. She dumps the baby in a bag. She takes IT out. She goes to sleep. No one knows. Only someone finds this baby screaming, and IT lives. The police eventually track it back to her and she ends up in prison. Will she be considered in trial as an adult or Juvienile? What will people say about her? What is going to happen to her future?
This is another book that I will chant "READ IT, READ IT, READ IT!"
Seriously, this one doesn't feel like a Young Adult book, this has relevance. This book matters. This book opened my eyes and changed my opinion. Do I like it that the girl dumped her baby off? NO! But, I do see what was going through her mind and can't help but feel sorry for her. Good people can do bad things.... Should she be punished? Yes. Like an Adult? No.
Sidenote: I am not endorsing baby dumping!!! There is no excuse for that. I really don't understand why these mothers wouldn't at the very least find a hospital or orphanage or somewhere/someone to give that innocent life to instead of just leaving it there to die!!!!
This and other reviews (and other fun stuff) over on my blog
Messyhousehappylife
May 24, 2012
According to the description of this book, the reader is supposed to empathize with Devon and look at her story in a sympathetic light. I'm sorry, but that didn't happen.
My major problem with this book is that Devon spent most of it in denial. She can't admit to herself that she's pregnant and throws the baby into a trash can. When people try to help her, she is either unresponsive or uncooperative. She thinks she's better than all the others at juvie because she didn't really do anything wrong (because attempted murder of her own child isn't wrong...). Somehow her spotless academic record and lack of previous crimes makes her better than all the other girls who come from terrible neighborhoods and dysfunctional families. She never once considers that the other girls may be in the same situation as herself. And finally, how can she justify her innocence if she consented to have sex with the guy? She wasn't raped, so she had no excuse to throw the baby away.
I know that in the trial they go through the many psychological reasons for why Devon did what she did, and I would have been convinced if the previous 80% of the book hadn't been about Devon and her superiority complex. Her attitude towards Dom and the others trying to help her was unreasonable and uncalled for. Yes, she went through something traumatic, but doesn't she want to help herself? She seems more interested in wallowing in self-pity than taking action and helping herself get out of the situation.
And the end! It was incredibly anti-climactic.
My major problem with this book is that Devon spent most of it in denial. She can't admit to herself that she's pregnant and throws the baby into a trash can. When people try to help her, she is either unresponsive or uncooperative. She thinks she's better than all the others at juvie because she didn't really do anything wrong (because attempted murder of her own child isn't wrong...). Somehow her spotless academic record and lack of previous crimes makes her better than all the other girls who come from terrible neighborhoods and dysfunctional families. She never once considers that the other girls may be in the same situation as herself. And finally, how can she justify her innocence if she consented to have sex with the guy? She wasn't raped, so she had no excuse to throw the baby away.
I know that in the trial they go through the many psychological reasons for why Devon did what she did, and I would have been convinced if the previous 80% of the book hadn't been about Devon and her superiority complex. Her attitude towards Dom and the others trying to help her was unreasonable and uncalled for. Yes, she went through something traumatic, but doesn't she want to help herself? She seems more interested in wallowing in self-pity than taking action and helping herself get out of the situation.
And the end! It was incredibly anti-climactic.
August 31, 2009
As a big fan of YA lit, I was intrigued by the premise of this novel and then horribly disappointed in the execution. It read like an episode of Law and Order: SVU- all of the legalese with none of the emotional exploration that I expect in well-written young adult novels. As much as I wanted Devon to be a compelling character, her lack of self-awareness made her extremely hard to like, although she is a character that inspires excessive pity. Clearly, this was a teen in deep need of psychiatric care, and it would have been stronger novel had it focused on that aspect and showed her coming to a clear understanding of what really happened to her. Sadly, the novel never gets there, and I found the ending especially horrible. It comes across more as the author's moral judgment than it does a realistic or redemptive ending. Really, truly awful.
March 4, 2016
This book taught me a lot of things about the way people work. It taught me about how denial can be so strong that the lies become the truth. It taught me that no matter what you say or do, they all have consequences. I learned that it's not only the so-called 'bad people' who do these types of things, but the perfectly 'normal' and average people. That anyone can fall and that it's important to get back up again. It taught me that panic is fear and vice versa. It taught me that trust in oneself, once broken, is hard to fix if you don't believe you can do it. It told me that no matter how well you think you know someone, there's always something new.
At first, I wanted to read this book. After having it at my house --untouched-- for almost two and a half weeks, I finally got around to reading it. And it broke my heart. I fell in love with the main character, Devon, immediately. She's my age and has a life I can empathize with, whether it be because I know what school is like in that way or because I have friends who've experienced homes and families like hers. She struck me as someone who was resolute and had so much to go for. I admired her bravery and her strength. At the end, though, was where I think she truly earned it.
What she did was something most people would never even put as a far-off option. So completely.....selfless. She could've gone on as it was and taken the gift she'd been given. But she felt she didn't deserve it and her morals came even more into play. She's a truly amazing girl and I believe that Amy Efaw must be an absolutely splendid person to have caught both sides of this tragic story so eloquently.
At first, I wanted to read this book. After having it at my house --untouched-- for almost two and a half weeks, I finally got around to reading it. And it broke my heart. I fell in love with the main character, Devon, immediately. She's my age and has a life I can empathize with, whether it be because I know what school is like in that way or because I have friends who've experienced homes and families like hers. She struck me as someone who was resolute and had so much to go for. I admired her bravery and her strength. At the end, though, was where I think she truly earned it.
What she did was something most people would never even put as a far-off option. So completely.....selfless. She could've gone on as it was and taken the gift she'd been given. But she felt she didn't deserve it and her morals came even more into play. She's a truly amazing girl and I believe that Amy Efaw must be an absolutely splendid person to have caught both sides of this tragic story so eloquently.
November 9, 2012
Reviewed by Karin Librarian for TeensReadToo.com
Devon is a young, athletic girl with a bright future as a soccer player. The Olympics have even been linked to her name. How could a girl like this end up doing something as horrible as throwing a newborn baby in the trash along with other refuse from around the house?
While canvasing the apartment building looking for information about the abandoned baby, a police officer finds his way to Devon's door. Her mother, recently home from a night shift at Safeway, answers the door and starts her usual flirting. She informs the officer that her daughter, Devon, stayed home from school that day because she was sick. It doesn't take long for him to put two and two together.
Very quickly, Devon is thrust into a world she never imagined for herself. A world filled with kids with problems more complicated than she has ever experienced. A world in a juvenile detention facility under observation 24-hours a day. A world without anyone she can call a friend.
The reader witnesses Devon's story unfold piece by piece, almost as if we are understanding what transpired at the same time Devon does. What readers will find most amazing about the entire story is the level of denial Devon immerses herself in so as to function every day. Devon isn't always a likable character, mostly because of the strict discipline she holds herself to in terms of school work and soccer. She rarely lets herself loose, which means people don't know who she really is - including the reader.
I didn't want to stop reading. I needed to find out what pushed Devon to do something so horrible. Through conversations with her lawyer in preparation for a trial to determine whether or not she'll be judged in the juvenile system or be sent to the adult courts, we get a good picture of what was going through Devon's head. AFTER is definitely an engaging read.
Devon is a young, athletic girl with a bright future as a soccer player. The Olympics have even been linked to her name. How could a girl like this end up doing something as horrible as throwing a newborn baby in the trash along with other refuse from around the house?
While canvasing the apartment building looking for information about the abandoned baby, a police officer finds his way to Devon's door. Her mother, recently home from a night shift at Safeway, answers the door and starts her usual flirting. She informs the officer that her daughter, Devon, stayed home from school that day because she was sick. It doesn't take long for him to put two and two together.
Very quickly, Devon is thrust into a world she never imagined for herself. A world filled with kids with problems more complicated than she has ever experienced. A world in a juvenile detention facility under observation 24-hours a day. A world without anyone she can call a friend.
The reader witnesses Devon's story unfold piece by piece, almost as if we are understanding what transpired at the same time Devon does. What readers will find most amazing about the entire story is the level of denial Devon immerses herself in so as to function every day. Devon isn't always a likable character, mostly because of the strict discipline she holds herself to in terms of school work and soccer. She rarely lets herself loose, which means people don't know who she really is - including the reader.
I didn't want to stop reading. I needed to find out what pushed Devon to do something so horrible. Through conversations with her lawyer in preparation for a trial to determine whether or not she'll be judged in the juvenile system or be sent to the adult courts, we get a good picture of what was going through Devon's head. AFTER is definitely an engaging read.
November 21, 2009
Devon Davenport is in denial. She’s always wanted to be different from her mother, a single parent whose poor choices in life got her knocked up when she was too young, and have had her running away from bad relationships, bad jobs, and other bad decisions ever since. So far, Devon has been successful – a model student, a reliable babysitter, an amazing soccer player. She’s smart, motivated, reliable – all of the things her mom is not. But then she meets a guy. And in the heat of the moment, they have unprotected sex. And Devon gets pregnant. And suddenly, she’s becoming her mother, and she’s terrified. She absolutely cannot *be* pregnant. Devon puts that possibility so far out of her mind that when she actually gives birth one morning at home in the bathroom, she’s shocked and horrified. So very horrified, that she takes her newborn baby, puts IT in a garbage bag, and puts it out with the trash – believing that she’s taken care of the problem and no one has to know (not even herself) what happened. But the baby is discovered, and Devon’s terrible secret comes to light almost immediately afterward, and then – thanks to the media – everyone finds out what she did. Devon’s story is told in a series of flashbacks as she talks to her lawyer and psychiatrist, and culminates in a hearing where witnesses testify for and against her and it is determined whether or not she should be tried as an adult or a child.
This story would have been more successful, meaningful, powerful if I’d been able to better identify with the protagonist. But, Devon was frustratingly silent and stubborn. She either can’t or won’t come to terms with what she’s done (although, there’s an excellent explanation for this toward the end of the novel when her psychiatrist builds the case that Devon was in denial the whole time), and she’s not forthcoming with the details, which drives her lawyer (and me) crazy. Devon seems to be almost dead inside, and it’s really hard to empathize with her. The choices that she makes – not to seek help, not to imagine the possibility that she may be pregnant, not to talk to the people who love her – are just as poor as the ones her mother made, although they are different. Despite all of the positive recommendations she receives from the people who know her, she wasn’t all that likeable. Devon eventually does win the right to be tried in the juvenile system, and the legal proceedings leading up to that decision are really detailed and interesting. And Devon is finally able to understand what she did, and own it, internalize it, and feel the guilt and responsibility that go with that. If nothing else, this story will make you think about the circumstances that led to Devon’s decision, and wonder how many other women have found themselves in similar situations – where they felt they had no other options. That is what’s most chilling.
This story would have been more successful, meaningful, powerful if I’d been able to better identify with the protagonist. But, Devon was frustratingly silent and stubborn. She either can’t or won’t come to terms with what she’s done (although, there’s an excellent explanation for this toward the end of the novel when her psychiatrist builds the case that Devon was in denial the whole time), and she’s not forthcoming with the details, which drives her lawyer (and me) crazy. Devon seems to be almost dead inside, and it’s really hard to empathize with her. The choices that she makes – not to seek help, not to imagine the possibility that she may be pregnant, not to talk to the people who love her – are just as poor as the ones her mother made, although they are different. Despite all of the positive recommendations she receives from the people who know her, she wasn’t all that likeable. Devon eventually does win the right to be tried in the juvenile system, and the legal proceedings leading up to that decision are really detailed and interesting. And Devon is finally able to understand what she did, and own it, internalize it, and feel the guilt and responsibility that go with that. If nothing else, this story will make you think about the circumstances that led to Devon’s decision, and wonder how many other women have found themselves in similar situations – where they felt they had no other options. That is what’s most chilling.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 8, 2020
The plot is interesting & uncommon in YA, but the characters are shallow and the writing kind of drags.
Not for me.
Not for me.
March 22, 2012
We see these stories all the time but we never really get to know the girl. I know whenever I read stories like these in the paper I think," How cruel! How can someone do such a thing?" After reading this book, I am glad that I got a good insight on what goes on in the minds of these young women who dump their baby in the trash, I don't know who they are, and what they are thinking.
As the reader, we really see into Devon's mind and how she went through things, I felt for her because of her problems. I would have never taken the time to get to know Devon after doing what she did. Ms. Efaw did a wonderful job capturing every feeling, emotion, hurt, anger, rage and denial in this story. The storyline was great. We saw Devon experience with the birth, arrest, and jail time. I am glad that I pick up this book and learned a whole bunch more than I expected.
If you have not, read this book. While I know not all cases are the same, it will give you a new perspective of what these women go through.
As the reader, we really see into Devon's mind and how she went through things, I felt for her because of her problems. I would have never taken the time to get to know Devon after doing what she did. Ms. Efaw did a wonderful job capturing every feeling, emotion, hurt, anger, rage and denial in this story. The storyline was great. We saw Devon experience with the birth, arrest, and jail time. I am glad that I pick up this book and learned a whole bunch more than I expected.
If you have not, read this book. While I know not all cases are the same, it will give you a new perspective of what these women go through.
July 17, 2013
Harrowing.
This is one of those "ripped from the headlines" topics that you simultaneously don't want to hear about and yet cannot look away from: A teenage girl gives birth alone, then throws the baby in the trash and tries to pretend nothing happened. I was fascinated by one of these cases a few years ago because it happened in Delaware only a couple of miles from where we lived, and I noticed that Efaw cited that same case as being one of her inspirations as well. The strange thing is that it's often "good girls" with straight-A's, loving families, a bright future . . . which is perhaps what makes them want to deny that they've made a mistake. It's a scary, strange, fascinating topic, and Efaw handles it with spare grace. She doesn't pull any punches: the descriptions of the birth and the physical aftereffects on the young mother are all there in sharp detail. (I felt phantom labor pains at one point.) There are also exact, researched details about juvenile detention, police procedure, and etc, making the book feel so real I had a hard time reminding myself that it was fiction. And I could not put this down. I loved Devon from the first page, no matter what she'd done. Loved her. Loved her lawyer, even loved some of the girls in detention. Efaw has written a breathtaking book, and I'm a little stunned that it isn't more talked about.
This is one of those "ripped from the headlines" topics that you simultaneously don't want to hear about and yet cannot look away from: A teenage girl gives birth alone, then throws the baby in the trash and tries to pretend nothing happened. I was fascinated by one of these cases a few years ago because it happened in Delaware only a couple of miles from where we lived, and I noticed that Efaw cited that same case as being one of her inspirations as well. The strange thing is that it's often "good girls" with straight-A's, loving families, a bright future . . . which is perhaps what makes them want to deny that they've made a mistake. It's a scary, strange, fascinating topic, and Efaw handles it with spare grace. She doesn't pull any punches: the descriptions of the birth and the physical aftereffects on the young mother are all there in sharp detail. (I felt phantom labor pains at one point.) There are also exact, researched details about juvenile detention, police procedure, and etc, making the book feel so real I had a hard time reminding myself that it was fiction. And I could not put this down. I loved Devon from the first page, no matter what she'd done. Loved her. Loved her lawyer, even loved some of the girls in detention. Efaw has written a breathtaking book, and I'm a little stunned that it isn't more talked about.
November 9, 2017
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2.5/5 Stars
15 year old Devon Davenport recently had a baby. In a fit of panic, she stuffed her new born into a trash bag outside her house and left her there to die. The baby is discovered and a murder trial begins.
The book seemed very realistic and I found that the plot and characters all seemed genuine. I feel like the book could have been shorter and I hated the ending which really lowered my rating of the book overall. I will say that it is a thought provoking book and it was an interesting read, I just don't think it was for me.
2.5/5 Stars
15 year old Devon Davenport recently had a baby. In a fit of panic, she stuffed her new born into a trash bag outside her house and left her there to die. The baby is discovered and a murder trial begins.
The book seemed very realistic and I found that the plot and characters all seemed genuine. I feel like the book could have been shorter and I hated the ending which really lowered my rating of the book overall. I will say that it is a thought provoking book and it was an interesting read, I just don't think it was for me.
December 16, 2009
Another disappointment, courtesy of NPR. I have got to stop choosing books based on NPR reviews.
I was attracted to the concept of this YA novel. The author takes the idea of a baby found in a trashcan and the inevitable question, "how could someone do this?" She traces the answer back to a root of extreme denial. In this case, a teen girl (Devon) was in such denial about the fact that she'd had sex that she couldn't even allow the possibility of pregnancy to enter her mind. When a baby suddenly popped out, she went into a complete, deranged panic, basically couldn't even acknowledge to herself that it was a baby, and desperately shoved it away from her (into the trash).
I like this idea overall, and think it's ripe for exploration in novel form. Unfortunately, other than the concept, the whole thing pretty much stunk.
1. TRITE. Every single character in this novel is a cliche. The slutty, flaky mom who had Devon when she was 16. Devon herself, smart and hardworking, who pretty much raised herself and is driven to be nothing like her mother. The heart-of-gold, tough love soccer coach. The whip-smart female attorney with a soft side. The mean girl Devon meets in juvy (shocker, she cuts herself!). And on and on and on.
2. The courtroom stuff is WAY overdone. Too many pages are devoted to Devon's court proceedings. Every single one of those pages reads like a Law and Order script. Ugh.
3. Terrible writing. Some sentences don't even make sense. Now, I will grant that the whole thing is written in the present-tense, which is very difficult to do. However, as an author, you need to understand your own abilities. If you aren't good enough to write an entire novel in the present-tense, DON'T DO IT.
4. The handling of Devon's emotions comes off as trivial, superficial, and immature. Nothing is very well explained. There is no real depth. The author missed a big potential opportunity in devoting more time and thought to Devon's sessions with the psychiatrist. Her psychological state is very central to the book, so this is a big problem.
5. Gratuitous use of gore. How many times to I need to read about blood in the underwear, milk squirting out all over the place, or "pulsating umbilical cord"s? I get that birth is a messy process and that the trauma of it severely affected Devon, but as much time and attention as is devoted to the yuck factor is completely unnecessary.
6. Finally, the end was a joke. It was not properly built into and it did not resolve anything. It's like the author got tired of writing, so with no forethought she suddenly launched into a swell of good and redemptive emotions, ending with the clincher, "She'd won." Yippee. It didn't feel like a win at all, but surely that's the appropriate sentence for ending a story like this one.
I was attracted to the concept of this YA novel. The author takes the idea of a baby found in a trashcan and the inevitable question, "how could someone do this?" She traces the answer back to a root of extreme denial. In this case, a teen girl (Devon) was in such denial about the fact that she'd had sex that she couldn't even allow the possibility of pregnancy to enter her mind. When a baby suddenly popped out, she went into a complete, deranged panic, basically couldn't even acknowledge to herself that it was a baby, and desperately shoved it away from her (into the trash).
I like this idea overall, and think it's ripe for exploration in novel form. Unfortunately, other than the concept, the whole thing pretty much stunk.
1. TRITE. Every single character in this novel is a cliche. The slutty, flaky mom who had Devon when she was 16. Devon herself, smart and hardworking, who pretty much raised herself and is driven to be nothing like her mother. The heart-of-gold, tough love soccer coach. The whip-smart female attorney with a soft side. The mean girl Devon meets in juvy (shocker, she cuts herself!). And on and on and on.
2. The courtroom stuff is WAY overdone. Too many pages are devoted to Devon's court proceedings. Every single one of those pages reads like a Law and Order script. Ugh.
3. Terrible writing. Some sentences don't even make sense. Now, I will grant that the whole thing is written in the present-tense, which is very difficult to do. However, as an author, you need to understand your own abilities. If you aren't good enough to write an entire novel in the present-tense, DON'T DO IT.
4. The handling of Devon's emotions comes off as trivial, superficial, and immature. Nothing is very well explained. There is no real depth. The author missed a big potential opportunity in devoting more time and thought to Devon's sessions with the psychiatrist. Her psychological state is very central to the book, so this is a big problem.
5. Gratuitous use of gore. How many times to I need to read about blood in the underwear, milk squirting out all over the place, or "pulsating umbilical cord"s? I get that birth is a messy process and that the trauma of it severely affected Devon, but as much time and attention as is devoted to the yuck factor is completely unnecessary.
6. Finally, the end was a joke. It was not properly built into and it did not resolve anything. It's like the author got tired of writing, so with no forethought she suddenly launched into a swell of good and redemptive emotions, ending with the clincher, "She'd won." Yippee. It didn't feel like a win at all, but surely that's the appropriate sentence for ending a story like this one.
July 11, 2011
What was this even? I waited the entire book for something of substance to happened and then it fizzed at the end. It felt like the author hadn't known whether or not she would finish this story and then decided after meandering that she would end it abruptly, without warning. There was no connection(or lazy connection) that would justify the main character's decision. Too much time was spent in Devon's head, getting her to remember and not enough time establishing her as a person who would do what she did at the close.
April 4, 2021
Grade: A
After Devon Davenport hides her pregnancy then throws the baby into the trash, she's sent to a detention center to await the decision whether she will be tried as a juvenile or an adult. Frightened, angry, distrustful but most of all traumatized, Devon struggles to adjust to her new surroundings and recall the events of her pregnancy and giving birth with the help of her no-nonsense but compassionate attorney.
As a psychologist, I felt Amy Efaw did a masterful job creating an authentic and sympathetic character in Devon, a young teen of a neglectful, narcissistic mother. Devon basically raised herself, while trying to ignore her sexually inappropriate mother. While lots of people reached out to Devon during the months she tried to hide her pregnancy, I could see why she pushed them away. After she gave birth, Devon kept pushing people away probably due to PTSD which she may have had even before becoming pregnant due to her childhood.
Efaw slowly reveals the plot, as Devon recalls and develops insight into her why she did what she did. Although AFTER had an appropriate conclusion, Devon's story begs for a sequel. I enjoyed Efaw's writing style, character development and how she presented AFTER.
THEMES: teens, pregnancy, juvenile detention, court, PTSD, neglect,
AFTER is the type of novel that will appeal to both teens and adults. Some readers might think they'd never make the mistakes Devon did, and most probably wouldn't. Hopefully they'll be able to better understand the circumstances that lead to someone like Devon to commit a heinous crime, yet have the potential for rehabilitation.
ETA: the audiobook was also excellent.
After Devon Davenport hides her pregnancy then throws the baby into the trash, she's sent to a detention center to await the decision whether she will be tried as a juvenile or an adult. Frightened, angry, distrustful but most of all traumatized, Devon struggles to adjust to her new surroundings and recall the events of her pregnancy and giving birth with the help of her no-nonsense but compassionate attorney.
As a psychologist, I felt Amy Efaw did a masterful job creating an authentic and sympathetic character in Devon, a young teen of a neglectful, narcissistic mother. Devon basically raised herself, while trying to ignore her sexually inappropriate mother. While lots of people reached out to Devon during the months she tried to hide her pregnancy, I could see why she pushed them away. After she gave birth, Devon kept pushing people away probably due to PTSD which she may have had even before becoming pregnant due to her childhood.
Efaw slowly reveals the plot, as Devon recalls and develops insight into her why she did what she did. Although AFTER had an appropriate conclusion, Devon's story begs for a sequel. I enjoyed Efaw's writing style, character development and how she presented AFTER.
THEMES: teens, pregnancy, juvenile detention, court, PTSD, neglect,
AFTER is the type of novel that will appeal to both teens and adults. Some readers might think they'd never make the mistakes Devon did, and most probably wouldn't. Hopefully they'll be able to better understand the circumstances that lead to someone like Devon to commit a heinous crime, yet have the potential for rehabilitation.
ETA: the audiobook was also excellent.
March 15, 2012
I literally just finished the book and the ending completely blew it for me. I wasn't expecting it at all and I wish it didn't end where it did. However, I will say that I actually really enjoyed this book and I found myself feeling really bad for Devon even though what she did was horrible. I did like the writing style as well as the characters. I don't understand how someone could've been in such denial over pregnancy and also have hidden it for nine months. I find that nearly impossible. Overall, it was a good read that made me genuinely upset for Devon and I found myself tearing at a few parts as well. I would give this book 3.5 stars but 4 will do.
June 25, 2020
I had a lot of doubts when I started reading this book about whether or not I was going to get through it let alone like it. I read some pretty intense novels, but a novel about a young girl who throws out her newborn baby into the garbage does not rank high for me. I was worried that the book was either going to be too intense for me or completely unrealistic.
After finishing Efaw's novel last night, I can say that I was pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed the read. It dealt with a pretty depressing subject, but seeing it through the eyes of protagonist Devon Davenport gives it a tame and respectful take. It's not gory or disturbing for the sake of it. Any of the details we receive about Devon's experience birthing her newborn all by herself and then deciding to get rid of it serves to show how traumatic and confusing it was for our main character.
I found the character Devon to be one of the more complicated characters that I've read in a while. Even though she's only 15 in the novel, Devon exhibits complex emotions when it comes to her mother, sex and her own identity that one would expect to find in someone much older. And yet there's still an innocence about her that makes her sympathetic even when she reverts to the stubborn, scared child that she ultimately is.
This book definitely challenged the way I thought about young women and pregnancy. I would obviously never say that I condone young mothers throwing their babies in the trash, but I feel like after reading this book I have more understanding and sympathy for their experience.
After finishing Efaw's novel last night, I can say that I was pleasantly surprised that I enjoyed the read. It dealt with a pretty depressing subject, but seeing it through the eyes of protagonist Devon Davenport gives it a tame and respectful take. It's not gory or disturbing for the sake of it. Any of the details we receive about Devon's experience birthing her newborn all by herself and then deciding to get rid of it serves to show how traumatic and confusing it was for our main character.
I found the character Devon to be one of the more complicated characters that I've read in a while. Even though she's only 15 in the novel, Devon exhibits complex emotions when it comes to her mother, sex and her own identity that one would expect to find in someone much older. And yet there's still an innocence about her that makes her sympathetic even when she reverts to the stubborn, scared child that she ultimately is.
This book definitely challenged the way I thought about young women and pregnancy. I would obviously never say that I condone young mothers throwing their babies in the trash, but I feel like after reading this book I have more understanding and sympathy for their experience.
February 10, 2013
Social media has given people the ability to share their opinions about news stories. Whenever I read the comments under the stories, I find without fail harsh ethical judgments by other people. No one ever tries to get into the mind of a person who would do something like this. But people like me, people who have lived lives unbearably full of silent suffering, look around the world almost dissociated, apart from it, amazed that no one around us notices the struggle inside.
You tell yourself what you have to to get through it. The psyche is the most fragile bone in your body and your mind can do remarkable things to keep that bone from breaking. Devon's reaction to her first institution is spot on, disturbingly real. All of these people around her are going through their regular days, expecting her to comply and she is still struggling to put herself together emotionally. Fifteen is so young, so very very young, and your heart breaks for Devon. This was a fantastic book. Like Monster, it gives you a punch in the gut look into the mind of someone so many people would judge before walking a single step in his or her shoes...
You tell yourself what you have to to get through it. The psyche is the most fragile bone in your body and your mind can do remarkable things to keep that bone from breaking. Devon's reaction to her first institution is spot on, disturbingly real. All of these people around her are going through their regular days, expecting her to comply and she is still struggling to put herself together emotionally. Fifteen is so young, so very very young, and your heart breaks for Devon. This was a fantastic book. Like Monster, it gives you a punch in the gut look into the mind of someone so many people would judge before walking a single step in his or her shoes...
May 15, 2010
I loved the writing in this book. I was able to connect with the characters, which is something I've had difficulty doing in recent reads. Great subject matter (teenage pregnancy) handled in a most appropriate and empathetic manner by Amy Efaw. A few reviews I've read have had issues with AFTER's ending, and without creating a spoiler, let me say that I did not find it to be weird or out of line at all. Devon, the m.c., needs to show character growth, not an easy thing to do when you've wrapped your newborn baby in a garbage bag and shoved it in the trash can to die. I highly recommend this book to YA fans, teachers, teens, and librarians. A depressing subject matter is made poignant and engaging in this book. A definite thumbs up read!!
September 6, 2009
Stopped about fifty pages from the end when I just got too bored. Little, if any, character development, irritating pacing, and extremely repetitive storytelling. Two stars because I see the effort the author made, I just think she may need a lesson in subtlety. Devon is a soccer player, we know, and we don't need two soccer metaphors a page to remind us it's important to her. Her issues with her mother would have been much more poignant if they weren't so heavy-handed. This premise made it vital for the reader to sympathize with Devon, and I didn't find her to be a sympathetic character, just a whiny one.
February 17, 2012
This was an extremely hard book to listen to. It had nothing to do with the author's writing or the narrator. Both are wonderful, but the actual story itself is one of those stories that makes you squirm a little and question everything. There were often times that I just needed to turn it off and listen to some bubble gum pop just to wipe my mind of this story. The whole time I listened to this book my head raged with different opinions. They changed so often during the story that I'm still not sure what I think about the situation.
Amy Efaw has a way of turning your previous thoughts and reactions to a situation completely upside down. My first thought about this book was that this young girl must have been so ridiculously terrified and my second thought is how could she? There were parts where I despised Devon and other parts that I felt sorry for her. I'm not sure if I'm exactly comfortable with the fact that Amy Efaw manipulated my emotions like Play-Doh, but I guess that is testament to her skill as a writer.
Throughout the novel you discover more about Devon's journey and her complete and utter denial of her pregnancy. I'm am no psychologist, so I don't really understand the whole denial to the point of not realize you were pregnant until giving birth. I'm sure this happens, but for me it is not something I can truly grasp. There were also times that Devon seemed so naive that it just baffled me. I found myself feeling very protective of her one minute and horrified by her the next.
After is the type of novel that will stick with me for a long time. I'm not really sure what I think about the situation and I'm hopeful that I never have to serve on a jury dealing with this issue. Part of me wishes I was ignorant about situations like these so I don't have to deal with the emotions and trying to figure out my thoughts. All I know is I'm glad I read this novel, but I definitely need a light and fluffy book in my future.
Amy Efaw has a way of turning your previous thoughts and reactions to a situation completely upside down. My first thought about this book was that this young girl must have been so ridiculously terrified and my second thought is how could she? There were parts where I despised Devon and other parts that I felt sorry for her. I'm not sure if I'm exactly comfortable with the fact that Amy Efaw manipulated my emotions like Play-Doh, but I guess that is testament to her skill as a writer.
Throughout the novel you discover more about Devon's journey and her complete and utter denial of her pregnancy. I'm am no psychologist, so I don't really understand the whole denial to the point of not realize you were pregnant until giving birth. I'm sure this happens, but for me it is not something I can truly grasp. There were also times that Devon seemed so naive that it just baffled me. I found myself feeling very protective of her one minute and horrified by her the next.
After is the type of novel that will stick with me for a long time. I'm not really sure what I think about the situation and I'm hopeful that I never have to serve on a jury dealing with this issue. Part of me wishes I was ignorant about situations like these so I don't have to deal with the emotions and trying to figure out my thoughts. All I know is I'm glad I read this novel, but I definitely need a light and fluffy book in my future.
October 2, 2009
After tells the tale of a teenage girl jailed after dumping her baby in a trash can. Deep in denial, soccer star, Devon, can barely even admit that she was pregnant at all. She refers to the baby as IT (a tactic that grows a little old throughout the course of the novel) and wants to know when she can go home. Charged with attempted murder, Devon enters the juvenile court system while her attorney fights to keep her client from being prosecuted as an adult.
An interesting topic, ripped from the headlines. How does this kind of situation happen? The author spends a great deal of time establishing Devon's denial. Too much for my taste, in fact. I think the book could have benefitted from some serious editing in the first half. I grew very impatient with Devon who I couldn't help but think was awfully dumb for a supposedly smart girl. I understood she was in denial, but I wanted the pace to pick up a bit. Devon's slowness to answer even the most rudimentary question,instead delving into flashbacks or ruminations on minutiae wore on me fairly quickly. 100 pages into the novel I almost gave up on Devon, not because she'd committed the crime but because it was taking so long to move forward in the story. Right about the point I reached maxmimum frustration, more interesting characters saved the day (the defense attorney for one; Karma, a fellow juvenile offender with an eye-rollingly bad name, for another) and suddenly Devon got it together (or more together than she'd had it) and the story grew more compelling by leaps and bounds.
One final note. Nothing, nothing can excuse this line: "Somewhere inside herself, maybe it's inside her heart, she feels a tiny drop of hope take hold." p. 312 I'm sorry but, blegh! Nonetheless, this author has promise.
An interesting topic, ripped from the headlines. How does this kind of situation happen? The author spends a great deal of time establishing Devon's denial. Too much for my taste, in fact. I think the book could have benefitted from some serious editing in the first half. I grew very impatient with Devon who I couldn't help but think was awfully dumb for a supposedly smart girl. I understood she was in denial, but I wanted the pace to pick up a bit. Devon's slowness to answer even the most rudimentary question,instead delving into flashbacks or ruminations on minutiae wore on me fairly quickly. 100 pages into the novel I almost gave up on Devon, not because she'd committed the crime but because it was taking so long to move forward in the story. Right about the point I reached maxmimum frustration, more interesting characters saved the day (the defense attorney for one; Karma, a fellow juvenile offender with an eye-rollingly bad name, for another) and suddenly Devon got it together (or more together than she'd had it) and the story grew more compelling by leaps and bounds.
One final note. Nothing, nothing can excuse this line: "Somewhere inside herself, maybe it's inside her heart, she feels a tiny drop of hope take hold." p. 312 I'm sorry but, blegh! Nonetheless, this author has promise.
January 21, 2010
At 15, Devon Sky Davenport was a high school soccer star, she volunteered with youth soccer and held one-on-one training sessions with young players, she worked as a babysitter, and she maintained top grades and took honors classes. She also hid an unwanted pregnancy, gave birth in her bathroom, and threw the baby away in a garbage bag that she put in the trash can behind her apartment. The baby was found alive and Devon was found, barely conscious, bleeding on her living room couch by the police investigating the crime. She was taken to the hospital, then a juvenile detention center to await a hearing to determine if she should be tried as an adult for multiple charges, including attempted murder.
Everyone has heard stories of young mothers, unable to cope with motherhood, who give birth and leave their newborn babies in dumpsters, etc. This book offers a realistic and graphic story that offers insight into just how someone might be driven to these actions. Devon at first represses everything that happened then slowly begins to deal with the choices she made and the consequences of her actions as she meets with her lawyer and adjusts to life in the juvenile detention center. Her development throughout is powerful and believable. It is a tough read, but one that will resonate.
Everyone has heard stories of young mothers, unable to cope with motherhood, who give birth and leave their newborn babies in dumpsters, etc. This book offers a realistic and graphic story that offers insight into just how someone might be driven to these actions. Devon at first represses everything that happened then slowly begins to deal with the choices she made and the consequences of her actions as she meets with her lawyer and adjusts to life in the juvenile detention center. Her development throughout is powerful and believable. It is a tough read, but one that will resonate.
November 29, 2011
Im definetly going to be judgemental on the contents of this book, like the author said at the end how she can't fathom what desperation would lead a woman to throw away her baby? Efaw failed for me to feel any sympathy towards Devon, the constant pointing out how smart she was, AP honor roll, leader of her soccer team. Not sexually active, just a 1x thing and she was so disgusted she'd be like her mother that she denied being pregnant? What about school? She was 5'8 slim, athletic!! Come on! She was however a victim of neglect but purposely excluded herself from society when she started feeling"something".. If the authors purpose was to make me feel disgust, enraged then I guess she did her job. FYI I would not recommend this as a YA book, the birth scene is very descriptive and had me skimming :/
May 6, 2010
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I rated it a little higher because I was in between like and really like so I gave it the benefit because I did get into it. I don't consider this a "omg I can't put down" book but I was intrigued by it and wanted to see what would happen. The writing style is enjoyable, I loved the flashbacks that were involved that's what kept me entertained. Anyways, I would suggest this book for nice relaxful days or an airplane trip or whatever.
Its about a 15 year old girl who is in denial of her pregnancy and acts upon panic and throws her newborn child in the garbage. This book is about her ,the character's, journey and trail of the court room facing the truth about what has happened
Its about a 15 year old girl who is in denial of her pregnancy and acts upon panic and throws her newborn child in the garbage. This book is about her ,the character's, journey and trail of the court room facing the truth about what has happened
November 9, 2011
Devon Sky Davenport, 15 tahun adalah siswi teladan dan bintang sepak bola berbakat. Dia dikenal sebagai pribadi yang baik, tenang, dan dewasa. Namun suatu pagi, semuanya berubah. Di sebuah tong sampah dekat apartemen Devon, ditemukan seorang bayi baru lahir yang diikat dalam kantong plastik hitam. Bayi itu masih berlumuran darah dan masih hidup. Polisi yang menyelidiki kasus tersebut mendapati Devon membolos sekolah dan demam. Dan segera setelah melihat keadaan Devon yang juga berlumuran darah, kasus bayi tersebut langsung dikaitkan dengan Devon.
Setelah hari itu dan setelah mendapat pengobatan, Devon dimasukkan ke penjara. Menunggu persidangan yang akan menentukan dirinya bersalah atau tidak. Selama proses itu, Devon bertanya-tanya apa sebenarnya yang sudah dia lakukan. Ditambah dengan berbagai pertanyaan yang dilayangkan padanya oleh pengacaranya. Pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang Devon tidak tahu jawabannya. Pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang sepertinya jawabannya ada di dalam kepala tapi entah bagaimana tidak mau keluar sama sekali.
Pertama kali aku tertarik dengan buku ini adalah karena cover versi aslinya. Sosok gadis remaja yang sedang bersandar di cermin dan dalam pantulannya dia berperut buncit. Membaca judulnya After dan sinopsisnya, kupikir cerita ini berkisar pada gadis remaja dan permasalahan kehamilannya di luar nikah. Ternyata lebih berat dari itu...
Jujur pertama baca aku merasa kesal dengan sikap Devon yang terkesan "sengaja" melupakan bahwa dia sudah melakukan kejahatan. Tapi selama aku membaca ceritanya, aku semakin mengerti dan malah bertanya-tanya Apakah benar yang dilakukannya itu adalah suatu tindakan kejahatan? Devon mungkin terkesan bahwa dia sengaja. Devon mungkin terkesan sengaja bereaksi berlebihan setelah dia melahirkan dan membuang bayinya. Bahkan ketika sudah dipenjara, dia terkesan menutup-nutupi kebenaran sehingga membuat pengacaranya--begitu pula dengan aku--geram dan ingin sekali marah-marah.... Belum lagi alurnya yang serasa agak lambat, karena halaman demi halaman lompat-lompat dari kehidupan Devon di dalam penjara dan kehidupan Devon sebelum masuk penjara, lebih tepatnya sebelum penelantaran terjadi...
Di depan cover versi Gramedia Pustaka Utama tertulis Kisah emosional tentang penyangkalan dan memaafkan diri sendiri.
Benar. Buku ini adalah mengenai penyangkalan. Buku ini mengenai memaafkan diri sendiri.
Penyangkalan, seperti yang disebutkan salah satu tokoh di sini: dr. Bacon adalah mekanisme pertahanan diri. Dalam bahasa sederhana, merupakan kemampuan benak manusia untuk tidak mengakui sesuatu yang sebenarnya sungguh-sungguh terjadi. Itu cara pikiran kita mengontrol hal-hal tidak menyenangkan sehingga kita stres sepanjang waktu.
Coba kita lihat pada kehidupan Devon. Devon adalah anak tunggal yang dibesarkan oleh orangtua tunggal. Ibunya, Jennifer Davenport, melahirkan dia ketika masih remaja. Sendirian, putus asa, dan nekat. Devon menyadari kesusahan yang dialami dirinya dan ibunya didasarkan pada kecerobohan ibunya di masa remaja. Oleh karena itu Devon membangun suatu tembok di dalam diri yang berisi ketetapan hati bahwa dia tidak akan menjadi seperti ibunya.
Ketetapan hati itulah yang memicu penyangkalan Devon ketika dia melakukan hubungan seks. Dia merasa jengah. Dia merasa bahwa itu bukan dirinya. Dia merasa apa yang sudah dilakukannya itu amatlah salah.... Rasa bersalah terhadap diri sendiri pun terbentuk, dia berusaha melupakan bahwa kejadian itu pernah terjadi. Dia menyangkal terhadap diri sendiri bahwa dia pernah melakukan seks. Hingga ketika dia hamil, penyangkalan-penyangkalan itu terus berlanjut, Devon memblokir pikirannya mengenai kehamilan. Meyakinkan diri sendiri terus-menerus bahwa dia tidaklah hamil. Dan pada saat setelah melahirkan, dia terus meyakinkan dirinya bahwa ITU, makhluk kecil yang menjerit-jerit itu TIDAK ADA.
After yang diberi judul Setelah Malam Itu oleh Gramedia, adalah satu dari sekian banyak buku yang mencerminkan kasus yang dialami oleh sebagian besar remaja di dunia. Seperti yang kita sudah tahu dengan jelas. Masa remaja adalah masa awal di mana seseorang masuk ke tahap pendewasaan. Dalam tahap pendewasaan itu muncul berbagai perubahan penting, yang cukup jelas adalah perubahan secara fisik. Namun ada perubahan yang tak kalah pentingnya dalam tahap pendewasaan ini, yaitu perubahan secara mental. Perubahan secara mental ini didukung oleh berbagai situasi dan kondisi. Berbeda dengan perubahan fisik, perubahan mental haruslah didukung oleh peranan pihak lain. Yaitu orangtua dan juga lingkungan.
Jadi mau bagaimana lagi?? Masih mau cuek sama orang sekitar??
4 Bintang dariku...
Oh iya halaman 409 sampai 413 bikin aku menangis. :'( Kenapa? baca aja. :D
Memaafkan orang lain itu perlu. Tetapi memaafkan diri sendiri itu yang paling penting.
Bagaimanapun membuang bayi itu salah bukan...
Setelah hari itu dan setelah mendapat pengobatan, Devon dimasukkan ke penjara. Menunggu persidangan yang akan menentukan dirinya bersalah atau tidak. Selama proses itu, Devon bertanya-tanya apa sebenarnya yang sudah dia lakukan. Ditambah dengan berbagai pertanyaan yang dilayangkan padanya oleh pengacaranya. Pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang Devon tidak tahu jawabannya. Pertanyaan-pertanyaan yang sepertinya jawabannya ada di dalam kepala tapi entah bagaimana tidak mau keluar sama sekali.
Pertama kali aku tertarik dengan buku ini adalah karena cover versi aslinya. Sosok gadis remaja yang sedang bersandar di cermin dan dalam pantulannya dia berperut buncit. Membaca judulnya After dan sinopsisnya, kupikir cerita ini berkisar pada gadis remaja dan permasalahan kehamilannya di luar nikah. Ternyata lebih berat dari itu...
Jujur pertama baca aku merasa kesal dengan sikap Devon yang terkesan "sengaja" melupakan bahwa dia sudah melakukan kejahatan. Tapi selama aku membaca ceritanya, aku semakin mengerti dan malah bertanya-tanya Apakah benar yang dilakukannya itu adalah suatu tindakan kejahatan? Devon mungkin terkesan bahwa dia sengaja. Devon mungkin terkesan sengaja bereaksi berlebihan setelah dia melahirkan dan membuang bayinya. Bahkan ketika sudah dipenjara, dia terkesan menutup-nutupi kebenaran sehingga membuat pengacaranya--begitu pula dengan aku--geram dan ingin sekali marah-marah.... Belum lagi alurnya yang serasa agak lambat, karena halaman demi halaman lompat-lompat dari kehidupan Devon di dalam penjara dan kehidupan Devon sebelum masuk penjara, lebih tepatnya sebelum penelantaran terjadi...
Di depan cover versi Gramedia Pustaka Utama tertulis Kisah emosional tentang penyangkalan dan memaafkan diri sendiri.
Benar. Buku ini adalah mengenai penyangkalan. Buku ini mengenai memaafkan diri sendiri.
Penyangkalan, seperti yang disebutkan salah satu tokoh di sini: dr. Bacon adalah mekanisme pertahanan diri. Dalam bahasa sederhana, merupakan kemampuan benak manusia untuk tidak mengakui sesuatu yang sebenarnya sungguh-sungguh terjadi. Itu cara pikiran kita mengontrol hal-hal tidak menyenangkan sehingga kita stres sepanjang waktu.
Coba kita lihat pada kehidupan Devon. Devon adalah anak tunggal yang dibesarkan oleh orangtua tunggal. Ibunya, Jennifer Davenport, melahirkan dia ketika masih remaja. Sendirian, putus asa, dan nekat. Devon menyadari kesusahan yang dialami dirinya dan ibunya didasarkan pada kecerobohan ibunya di masa remaja. Oleh karena itu Devon membangun suatu tembok di dalam diri yang berisi ketetapan hati bahwa dia tidak akan menjadi seperti ibunya.
Ketetapan hati itulah yang memicu penyangkalan Devon ketika dia melakukan hubungan seks. Dia merasa jengah. Dia merasa bahwa itu bukan dirinya. Dia merasa apa yang sudah dilakukannya itu amatlah salah.... Rasa bersalah terhadap diri sendiri pun terbentuk, dia berusaha melupakan bahwa kejadian itu pernah terjadi. Dia menyangkal terhadap diri sendiri bahwa dia pernah melakukan seks. Hingga ketika dia hamil, penyangkalan-penyangkalan itu terus berlanjut, Devon memblokir pikirannya mengenai kehamilan. Meyakinkan diri sendiri terus-menerus bahwa dia tidaklah hamil. Dan pada saat setelah melahirkan, dia terus meyakinkan dirinya bahwa ITU, makhluk kecil yang menjerit-jerit itu TIDAK ADA.
After yang diberi judul Setelah Malam Itu oleh Gramedia, adalah satu dari sekian banyak buku yang mencerminkan kasus yang dialami oleh sebagian besar remaja di dunia. Seperti yang kita sudah tahu dengan jelas. Masa remaja adalah masa awal di mana seseorang masuk ke tahap pendewasaan. Dalam tahap pendewasaan itu muncul berbagai perubahan penting, yang cukup jelas adalah perubahan secara fisik. Namun ada perubahan yang tak kalah pentingnya dalam tahap pendewasaan ini, yaitu perubahan secara mental. Perubahan secara mental ini didukung oleh berbagai situasi dan kondisi. Berbeda dengan perubahan fisik, perubahan mental haruslah didukung oleh peranan pihak lain. Yaitu orangtua dan juga lingkungan.
Jadi mau bagaimana lagi?? Masih mau cuek sama orang sekitar??
4 Bintang dariku...
Oh iya halaman 409 sampai 413 bikin aku menangis. :'( Kenapa? baca aja. :D
Memaafkan orang lain itu perlu. Tetapi memaafkan diri sendiri itu yang paling penting.
Bagaimanapun membuang bayi itu salah bukan...
November 3, 2016
Buku yg paling bikin ngilu sepanjang membacanya. Entah apa nama phobianya, gw emang suka ngilu kalo membayangkan melahirkan bayi (gw dulu SC sih). *OMG..ngilu sengilu-ngilunya!!!*
Lewat buku ini, gw baru tahu bahwa fenomena neonaticide atau pembunuhan bayi oleh orangtua dalam waktu 24 jam pertama ternyata juga terjadi di negara maju. Kalo di sini, kita kerap menonton berita tentang kasus bayi yg ditemukan di tong sampah. Bayi-nya Devon juga gitu, ditemukan di tong sampah, terikat dalam kantong plastik hitam. Dan lewat alur-alur ingatan Devon yg terpotong-potong, kita dibawa menemukan alasan Devon menyembunyikan kehamilan.
Pertama kali yg jadi pikiran gw adalah
MASA ORANG HAMIL SAMPE TRISEMESTER KETIGA NGGAK KELIATAN PERUTNYA MEMBESAR? Karena di sini Devon digambarkan tinggi dan langsing, gw mbayanginnya dia hamil ala Juno dengan perutnya yg kayak diisi bola. Tapi mungkin aja hamilnya Devon kayak yg di cover aslinya, hingga kalo dipakein baju longgar bakalan gak keliatan (gw aja pas hamil gak ada yg nyadar, dikira gw gendud biasa *malah curcol*:p).
Pemikiran gw yg kedua adalah
PENANGANAN TRAUMANYA LAMBAT BANGEEETTTT!! Maksud gw...kok segitunyaaa.. *drama*
Sisanya....hmm...Bagaimanapun juga, buku ini menarik. Ada sedikit unsur psikologis dan hukumnya, bikin susah berhenti bacanya hehehe. Buku ini ternyata terinspirasi dari beberapa kisah nyata, dimana sepertinya latar belakang psikologis Devon adalah gabungan kasus-kasus tersebut.
Lewat buku ini, gw baru tahu bahwa fenomena neonaticide atau pembunuhan bayi oleh orangtua dalam waktu 24 jam pertama ternyata juga terjadi di negara maju. Kalo di sini, kita kerap menonton berita tentang kasus bayi yg ditemukan di tong sampah. Bayi-nya Devon juga gitu, ditemukan di tong sampah, terikat dalam kantong plastik hitam. Dan lewat alur-alur ingatan Devon yg terpotong-potong, kita dibawa menemukan alasan Devon menyembunyikan kehamilan.
Pertama kali yg jadi pikiran gw adalah
MASA ORANG HAMIL SAMPE TRISEMESTER KETIGA NGGAK KELIATAN PERUTNYA MEMBESAR? Karena di sini Devon digambarkan tinggi dan langsing, gw mbayanginnya dia hamil ala Juno dengan perutnya yg kayak diisi bola. Tapi mungkin aja hamilnya Devon kayak yg di cover aslinya, hingga kalo dipakein baju longgar bakalan gak keliatan (gw aja pas hamil gak ada yg nyadar, dikira gw gendud biasa *malah curcol*:p).
Pemikiran gw yg kedua adalah
PENANGANAN TRAUMANYA LAMBAT BANGEEETTTT!! Maksud gw...kok segitunyaaa.. *drama*
Sisanya....hmm...Bagaimanapun juga, buku ini menarik. Ada sedikit unsur psikologis dan hukumnya, bikin susah berhenti bacanya hehehe. Buku ini ternyata terinspirasi dari beberapa kisah nyata, dimana sepertinya latar belakang psikologis Devon adalah gabungan kasus-kasus tersebut.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 16, 2015
In October I was in the worst reading slump ever so I decided to get away from all ARCs and read something that would regain my interest in writing so I started browsing the library ebook selection and came across After. The first thing I noticed was the cover, the reflection shows a baby bump and the other doesn’t. I thought well this should be interesting.
Then I read the synopsis and I was really interested. A book about a girl who hid her pregnancy and than threw out her baby? That is unlike anything I have ever read. It was hard to separate the mom in me from the story because I couldn’t help but think “How could you do that to defenseless child?” I couldn’t understand and at the end of the story I still didn’t really understand.
Devon is the girl who you’d strive to be she’s on top of her class she’s an amazing athlete. She’s very responsible and not the kind of girl who’d get pregnant at 15. And she’s definitely not the kind of girl who hides her pregnancy and than throws away her baby. No she’s not that kind of girl but is she?
I understood being afraid to admit to be pregnant. I was 19 when I became pregnant with my son and I hid me pregnancy for about three and half months until I could finally face the fact that I was indeed pregnant. In a way, I understood Devon not wanting to face the music so to speak. But to deliberately hide her pregnancy and than try and get rid of it was something I just couldn’t understand.
I personally didn’t like Devon much and it may have had to do with the fact that she did throw away her baby. But it was also this sense of lack of responsibility. Especially when she arrived in juvenile detention, she was so judgmental especially when it came to other girls. She was what I would call a snob; she couldn’t believe she was in a place like that with people like them. And that really bothered me because she just couldn’t understand her actions.
What I personally liked about the story was the courtroom action; I loved hearing about how things worked in juvenile hall and how the courtrooms handle cases like Devon’s. It really made the story realistic.
Overall, I thought this story was unique and definitely different from most young adult novels. I however, had a hard time getting over what Devon did and lack of connection with the baby. So for me, this was a 3 star book but who knows maybe it’ll be your five star read.
Then I read the synopsis and I was really interested. A book about a girl who hid her pregnancy and than threw out her baby? That is unlike anything I have ever read. It was hard to separate the mom in me from the story because I couldn’t help but think “How could you do that to defenseless child?” I couldn’t understand and at the end of the story I still didn’t really understand.
Devon is the girl who you’d strive to be she’s on top of her class she’s an amazing athlete. She’s very responsible and not the kind of girl who’d get pregnant at 15. And she’s definitely not the kind of girl who hides her pregnancy and than throws away her baby. No she’s not that kind of girl but is she?
I understood being afraid to admit to be pregnant. I was 19 when I became pregnant with my son and I hid me pregnancy for about three and half months until I could finally face the fact that I was indeed pregnant. In a way, I understood Devon not wanting to face the music so to speak. But to deliberately hide her pregnancy and than try and get rid of it was something I just couldn’t understand.
I personally didn’t like Devon much and it may have had to do with the fact that she did throw away her baby. But it was also this sense of lack of responsibility. Especially when she arrived in juvenile detention, she was so judgmental especially when it came to other girls. She was what I would call a snob; she couldn’t believe she was in a place like that with people like them. And that really bothered me because she just couldn’t understand her actions.
What I personally liked about the story was the courtroom action; I loved hearing about how things worked in juvenile hall and how the courtrooms handle cases like Devon’s. It really made the story realistic.
Overall, I thought this story was unique and definitely different from most young adult novels. I however, had a hard time getting over what Devon did and lack of connection with the baby. So for me, this was a 3 star book but who knows maybe it’ll be your five star read.
November 28, 2011
One morning some policeman’s found an infant in the trash can. They go to each apartment that is near that trash can looking for anything suspicious. In an apartment there was a girl named Devon that stayed from school sick, she told her mom. The policeman’s had knocked on Devon's door and her mom had answered it. They came in and asked Devon some questions but she wasn’t feeling well to understand what they were asking her. Her mom had pulled the blanket that was over Devon so she can show respect to the policeman’s, but....they had found something under that blanket. SO now Devon was arrested for throwing the infant away. It’s a very good book.
WARNING: PLOT SPOILERS AND DISCUSSIONS FOLLOW BELOW.
Setting: Modern time in juvenile center and in court.
Conflict: Devon is getting blamed for throwing away the infant.
Devon: She's the main character. She's star player in her schools soccer team, she plays goalie. She has very good grades in school and she behaves. She is actually the one that threw away the infant but she is in denial because she didn’t want to end up like her mom, 15 and with a child. But in the end she decides to go to jail because she knows that it wasn’t right of her to throw away her baby or keep it a secret.
Dom: She is Devon's lawyer. She is very smart and is eager to win Devon’s case. The first case that she did was to decide if Devon’s case should be judged in adult or teenage case. She wins the first case but in the end she is disappointed in Devon's decision on going to jail and admitting guilty.
WARNING: PLOT SPOILERS AND DISCUSSIONS FOLLOW BELOW.
Setting: Modern time in juvenile center and in court.
Conflict: Devon is getting blamed for throwing away the infant.
Devon: She's the main character. She's star player in her schools soccer team, she plays goalie. She has very good grades in school and she behaves. She is actually the one that threw away the infant but she is in denial because she didn’t want to end up like her mom, 15 and with a child. But in the end she decides to go to jail because she knows that it wasn’t right of her to throw away her baby or keep it a secret.
Dom: She is Devon's lawyer. She is very smart and is eager to win Devon’s case. The first case that she did was to decide if Devon’s case should be judged in adult or teenage case. She wins the first case but in the end she is disappointed in Devon's decision on going to jail and admitting guilty.
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