Men are from Mars, women are from Venus also includes Mars and Venus in the Bedroom

by John Gray

Two modern relationship classics, together for the first time. pibMen are from Mars, Women are from Venus/i/b pOnce upon a time Marians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets. Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, this phenomenal book has helped millions of men and women realize how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn't arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow. pbiMars and Venus in the Bedroom/i/b pMen and women have very different physical needs. But Dr. John Gray explains how both can make small but important adjustments in their attitudes, schedules, and techniques so that their partners are happy in the bedroomndash;and outside of it.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Relationships, Personal Development, Marriage

492 pages, Hardcover

Published January 1, 2009

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.

John Gray is an American relationship counselor, lecturer, and author. In 1969, he began a nine-year association with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi before beginning his career as an author and personal relationship counselor. In 1992 he published the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, which became a long-term best seller and formed the central theme of his subsequent books and career activities. His books have sold millions of copies.

Reviews

[John Hubenthal · Rating 2 out of 5]

Another book which I did not seek out on my own. Again, I do not agree with many of the concepts and advice given, as they conflict with other moral precepts to which I will adhere. I found it almost bizarre to think the author recommends women always give into their husbands request for physical intimacy...every single example he cited was a "yes" from the women, whether she wanted to or not. He thinks men are too fragile and easily damaged from rejection. I think there are other more powerful spiritual sources to which he can turn to "get over it".

Being completely clueless as I am, I did like one quote in the chapter addressing romance: "Romance is anything that helps her to feel that she is not alone and that someone is there for her. Any little thing he can directly do for her says he cares and creates romance."

[Tania · Rating 2 out of 5]

U expected to hate this book. In fact, I had successfully avoided the book for years until I ended up with a free copy. At that point I figured I may as well read it. Surprisingly, I generally thought the book was pretty good.

Despite the fact that the phrase "love tank" is corny, Gray's point is a good one. He is trying to show people that true happiness and success isn't measured through the external trappings of wealth -- without an inner life, and an inner sense of worth, people will constantly try to fill up their emptiness with stuff. And all the "stuff" in the world won't make up for what is lacking in good relationships, a sense of emotional well being, spiritual development, and community. I agree with him there.

I don't however, necessarily accept that you need all ten types of love to be happy. I do know people who don't have a romantic partner who are quite satisfied with their lives. Same with people who don't have children. The latter especially didn't fit for me -- Gray argues that being an aunt or belonging to something like Big Sisters won't fill you; you actually have to be a parent or have a pet, because otherwise you aren't experiencing enough responsibility. In Western culture that may be true. In other cultures, like mine (I'm of Eastern European descent) aunts and uncles view their nieces and nephews as being like their own. I certain do with my little niece. So it isn't as simple as Gray puts it.

Oversimplification is the biggest drawback of this book, and the reason I didn't give it five stars. There isn't a whole lot in the book that's particularly new. The letter writing techniques he describes can be found in other Gray books. There is a wealth of material on meditiation on the market. So if you read alot of self-help, some of the material in this book might seem redundant. This fact makes the book, which is about 310 pages, seem even longer than that.

Gray has a chapter that talks about different crisises at various life stages. Although he doesn't make the comparision, this chapter is reminiscent of Erik Erikson's eight stages of man. Had Gray referred to Erikson, this chapter might've had more weight. I was also frustrated because I know, as someone who's taken developmental psychology, that some of the life stages he mentions (mid life, retirement) have been shown in some studies to not result in crisis for a number of people. He makes no allusions to any evidence or research that might contradict his beliefs. In general, I was disappointed by the lack of references to other authors who share similar ideas.

I did find that his chapters on identifying and addressing the twelve blocks were really useful for me. I can also see myself journalling with some of the questions he gives in Ch. 17 to help the reader explore their past. Some of the suggested meditations are pretty good, too. So overall, there is some material in the book I could see myself referring to in the future, either for my own personal work, or to help a client. If you like Gray, and/or you want to learn to deal with your emotions more effectively, I'd say that this book is worth reading.

[Soha Seliem · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read it over a year ago, found it very informative, especially of how different genders see lovemaking differently and consequently have different drives, responses, needs, expectations and turnons.
I would recommend it for someone who's getting married, .. yes, mainly engaged and newlyweds.

[Tracy Crook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing how truly different men and women are. My eyes were opened to a different perspective I must say. Their seems to be even a strategy to relationships which was a bit disappointing to me. I can accept that to a certain extent but their comes a point when I say, "Man up man!"

[Atarah Poling · Rating 5 out of 5]

John Gray hit it right on the dot. A great read.

[Patrizia Poli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dagli anni settanta ai novanta è stato tutto un fiorire di manuali americani di auto aiuto: come rafforzare l’autostima, come capire se stessi, come migliorare le proprie prestazioni sociali e le relazioni con gli altri.

Non c’è signora che non abbia letto “Donne che amano troppo”, di Robin Norwood (in puro stile presa di coscienza anni settanta), identificandosi nella patetica figura appesa al filo di un telefono che non suona. Tutti abbiamo dato almeno un’occhiata a “Le vostre zone erronee”, di Wayne Dyer (1977) o a “Intelligenza emotiva”, di Daniel Goleman. Ma c’è un testo che ha sbaragliato tutti gli altri e che è rimasto in classifica 121 settimane e ha venduto 50 milioni di copie: “Gli uomini vengono da Marte, le donne da Venere”, scritto nel 1993 da John Gray, psicologo specializzato nello studio delle problematiche di coppia.

Personalmente proviamo un certo fastidio verso chi pensa di avere “il rimedio per ogni cosa”, verso chi crede che basti modificare un poco il proprio comportamento per far sì che attorno tutto cambi. Non esiste, a nostro avviso, la pillola della felicità o la bacchetta magica capace di trasformare una relazione insoddisfacente in una gratificante. Dobbiamo comunque riconoscere a questo testo, pur nella fastidiosa e americanizzante semplificazione dei problemi e delle loro soluzioni, il merito di aver messo a fuoco alcuni punti che causano incomprensioni nella coppia e, aggiungiamo noi, anche nelle amicizie e nelle relazioni sociali in generale.

Che uomini e donne vengano da pianeti diversi e parlino linguaggi opposti, reciprocamente incomprensibili, lo sapevamo tutti. Ma Gray ha evidenziato che, se una donna esterna, lo fa per sfogarsi. Punto. Non si aspetta consigli, non vuole soluzioni facili. Anzi, una possibile soluzione la irrita perché sminuisce la portata del suo dolore “senza fondo e senza rimedio”. Se una donna si lamenta, è per il piacere e il bisogno di lamentarsi, per la felicità di sentirsi tanto infelice. L’uomo, di fronte ad una donna che soffre, prova imbarazzo, fastidio e dispiacere, quindi vuol rendersi utile ed elabora possibili appianamenti. E questo è il modo migliore per fare infuriare di più la donna, poiché lei non sente compresa, convalidata e giustificata la sua angoscia, in una parola, non si sente capita, ascoltata, sostenuta.

L’uomo, poi, anche quello devoto e innamorato, avverte periodicamente il bisogno di rintanarsi nella sua “caverna”, specialmente se ha un problema. La reazione naturale di una donna di fronte al medesimo problema è “sviscerarlo”, dolersene, farne partecipi gli altri. L’uomo no. L’uomo ha bisogno di elaborarlo in silenzio, di capire come può affrontarlo da solo, di trovare soluzioni basandosi esclusivamente sulle propri e forze. Perciò tace, si allontana, s’immusonisce, si chiude in se stesso. Se lei lo incalza, diventa sfuggente, nervoso, fino al litigio e lo scontro, oppure ammutolisce. Più lei gli chiede che cosa non va, più lui non sa cosa dire. Lei è erroneamente convinta che sia suo dovere interessarsi di lui in quel momento, che “parlare gli farebbe bene”, mentre per lui è il contrario. Questo per le donne è difficile da capire e accettare, le donne sono state educate al sacrificio, alla partecipazione emotiva, all’ascolto attivo e non comportarsi in quel modo le fa sentire in colpa. Se lei avesse un problema, la prima cosa che farebbe sarebbe esternarlo, ed è convinta che tenendosi tutto dentro lui si stia facendo del male e che lei debba aiutarlo ad aprirsi. Inoltre si sente ferita, umiliata dalla mancanza di fiducia di lui, che non la ritiene degna delle sue confidenze. Finisce spesso per immaginare il peggio: che lui abbia un’altra, che sia malato o che mediti la fuga.

Nel rapporto d’amore, l’uomo è come un elastico, ha periodicamente bisogno di allontanarsi, ritrovare se stesso, distaccarsi, per poi tornare più carico. Durante la separazione la sua energia torna a crescere, lui ritrova passione, emozione e desiderio, ed è pronto a riaccostarsi alla sua donna con ritrovata dedizione. Questo lei non lo capisce, la fa stare male, la ferisce. Più che lo segue nel suo allontanamento, più che lo rincorre, più che lui si raffredda, si sente controllato e legato. Quando lui torna casa, pronto a riprendere la relazione dal punto in cui l’aveva interrotta, come nulla fosse successo, lei è arrabbiata e gelida. (Siccome chi vi parla è donna, non può fare ameno di pensare che a fa bene a mandarlo a quel paese.)

Pare che per Gray la donna sia come un’onda, dedita ad alti e bassi di autostima, con cicli di trenta giorni singolarmente vicini a quelli sessuali. Quando lei è giù, nel punto più basso, ha solo bisogno di comprensione, di sostegno, di ascolto, in attesa che il suo umore torni a risollevarsi da solo. Spesso, sentirsi capita e non giudicata è sufficiente a ritirarla su.

Per la donna, inoltre, c’illumina Gray, le cose grandi valgono quanto quelle piccole. In una scala di punteggi, un uomo che lavora, che si massacra per assicurare un buon tenore di vita alla famiglia, sta compiendo un’operazione che gli accredita un solo punto, come un eguale punto varrebbe regalarle una rosa, comprarle un anello di brillanti, portare fuori il cane o la spazzatura. Uno vale uno, insomma. Lei, tapina, non è in grado di capire la differenza e per farla felice, per ottenere il punteggio pieno, non basta un unico, importante, generoso, gesto d’amore ma ci vogliono tante piccole attenzioni giornaliere.

Gray non pare rendersi conto che, per cambiare atteggiamento, un uomo deve volerlo fare, deve riconoscerne la necessità, deve trovare delle mancanze nel proprio comportamento, deve essere in contatto con i propri sentimenti ed avere la pazienza di lavorare su di sé.

Ma dove si trova un uomo così? Come si trasforma un marito che non ascolta mai, uno per il quale la propria donna è invisibile e necessaria come un mobile della casa, in un essere attento, premuroso, capace di dirle: “Amore, in questo momento sono occupato ma fra dieci minuti avrai tutta la mia considerazione, comprensione e solidarietà?” Ma dai!

E, per concludere, possiamo dire che, evidentemente, Gray è venuto in contatto solo con coppie americane. Se avesse conosciuto un lui ed una lei italiani, immancabilmente sarebbe uscito il problema della mamma, e, ai 101 punti nei quali descrive le piccole cose che un uomo deve fare per ingraziarsi la moglie, oltre ad abbassare l’asse del wc, avrebbe aggiunto a lettere cubitali: RICORDATI CHE LEI VIENE PRIMA DI TUA MADRE!!





From the seventies to the nineties it was a flourishing of American self-help manuals: how to strengthen self-esteem, how to understand yourself, how to improve your social performance and relationships with others.

There is no lady who has not read "Women who love too much", by Robin Norwood (in pure seventies awareness style), identifying himself in the pathetic figure hanging on the wire of a phone that does not ring. We have all had at least a look at "Your erroneous areas", by Wayne Dyer (1977) or "Emotional Intelligence", by Daniel Goleman. But there is a text that has beaten all the others and that has remained in the ranking 121 weeks and has sold 50 million copies: "Men come from Mars, women from Venus", written in 1993 by John Gray, specialized psychologist in the study of couple problems.

Personally we feel a certain annoyance towards those who think they have the "remedy for everything", towards those who believe that it is enough to modify their behavior a little to make everything change around them. In our opinion, there is no pill of happiness or a magic wand capable of transforming an unsatisfactory relationship into a rewarding one. We must however recognize this text, despite the annoying and Americanizing simplification of the problems and their solutions, the merit of having focused on some points that cause misunderstandings in the couple and, we add, also in friendships and social relations in general.

We all knew that men and women come from different planets and speak opposing, mutually incomprehensible languages. But Gray pointed out that if an outside woman does it to let off steam. Point. He doesn't expect advice, he doesn't want easy solutions. Indeed, a possible solution irritates her because it diminishes the extent of her pain "without bottom and without remedy". If a woman complains, it is for the pleasure and the need to complain, for the happiness of feeling so unhappy. The man, faced with a woman who suffers, feels embarrassment, annoyance and displeasure, therefore he wants to make himself useful and elaborate possible flattening. And this is the best way to infuriate the woman more, since she does not feel understood, validated and justified her anguish, in a word, she does not feel understood, listened to, supported.

The man, then, even the one devoted and in love, periodically feels the need to hide in his "cave", especially if he has a problem. The natural reaction of a woman to the same problem is to "dissect it", to be sorry for it, to make others participate. The man is not. Man needs to work it out in silence, to understand how he can deal with it alone, to find solutions based solely on his own strength. Therefore he is silent, moves away, silences himself, closes in on himself. If she pursues him, she becomes elusive, nervous, until the quarrel and the clash, or she falls silent. The more she asks him what's wrong, the more he doesn't know what to say. She is mistakenly convinced that it is her duty to take an interest in him at that moment, that "talking would do him good", while for him it is the opposite. This is difficult for women to understand and accept, women have been educated about sacrifice, emotional participation, active listening and not behaving in this way makes them feel guilty. If she had a problem, the first thing she would do would be to externalize it, and she is convinced that by keeping everything inside he is hurting herself and that she must help him to open up. She also feels hurt, humiliated by his lack of trust, who does not consider her worthy of her confidences. He often ends up imagining the worst: that he has another, that he is ill or that he meditates his escape.

In the love relationship, the man is like an elastic band, he periodically needs to move away, find himself, detach himself, and then return more charged. During the separation his energy returns to grow, he finds passion, emotion and desire, and is ready to approach his woman with new-found dedication. This she does not understand, makes her feel bad, hurts her. The more that follows him in his departure, the more he chases him, the more he cools down, he feels controlled and tied. When he returns home, ready to resume the relationship from the point where he left her, as if nothing had happened, she is angry and freezing. (Since the speaker is a woman, he cannot help thinking that it is good to send him to that country.)

It seems that for Gray the woman is like a wave, dedicated to ups and downs of self-esteem, with thirty day cycles singularly close to the sexual ones. When she is down, at the lowest point, she only needs understanding, support, listening, waiting for her mood to rise again on her own. Often, feeling understood and not judged is enough to revive her.



In addition, for women big things are as good as small ones. On a scale of scores, a man who works, who massacres himself to ensure a good standard of living for the family, is performing an operation that credits him with only one point, as an equal point would be giving her a rose, buying her a ring of diamonds , takeing the dog or the trash out. In short, one is worth one. She is unable to understand the difference and to make her happy, to get the full score, a single, important, generous, loving gesture is not enough but it takes a lot of small daily attentions.

Gray does not seem to realize that, to change his attitude, a man must want to do it, he must recognize the need, he must find shortcomings in his behaviour, he must be in touch with his own feelings and have the patience to work on himself.

But where is such a man? How a husband who never listens, one for whom his woman is invisible and necessary as a piece of furniture in the house, becomes an attentive, caring being, capable of saying to her: “Love, I'm busy right now but in ten minutes you will have all my consideration, understanding and solidarity? " Really!

And, to conclude, we can say that, evidently, Gray only came into contact with American couples. If he had known an Italian he and she, the mother's problem would inevitably come out, and, to the 101 points in which he describes the little things a man must do to ingratiate himself with his wife, in addition to lowering the toilet axis, he would have added in large letters: REMEMBER THAT SHE COMES BEFORE YOUR MOTHER !!

[Rashu Panfer · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I first read this book at age 31, I wish I read it 10 years sooner.” - seems to be the common theme with me and many others I’ve spoken to.
Humans are social animals, understanding and communicating with eachother is critical - regardless of what kind of relationship (within family, friends or lovers). Sometimes the intention is different than the perception and can cause havoc when it’s misinterpreted. In a very crude way, the author gives us a perspective in differences of how men and women communicate.
The book sometimes feels a little repetitive and redundant as it tries to really drill some points home. At times, it had me thinking, “well of course - this point is obvious”, but I realized this would’ve been golden information and wish I read this 10-15 years ago in high school or college.
Regardless, I recommend this novel and think it provides valuable information and perspective to everybody.

[Steve Partridge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Different but similar to the last book I read. In some ways Cathy and I are a little reversed IE Im a bit Venutian and shes a little Martian :-)

Its very important though that both members of a couple read these books

[Paris Jordan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some bits I found obvious others very eye opening and interesting.
This was my first Mars and Venus and feel encouraged to read more.
Now, if only I can convince the boyf to read them - I think he feels insulted when I ask him to. Pfft.

[Aubrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a really interesting read and helped me understand my husband better, but then my husband started trying to apply it to every part of our relationship and it drove me crazy so I stopped reading it. Will pick it up again some day and finish reading it.

[Rachelle Peterson · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a fun book for me...helping me to understand myself...so as to understand thee uppersite sex.

[Widsie · Rating 4 out of 5]

great book. banyak hal yg membuka mata, disertai tips praktis yg mudah diingat ;)

[Jeffrey Bakker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good insight into typical communication barriers, and the difference in how we understand things. Roles can also be reversed in many situations.

[Wade Cohen · Rating 5 out of 5]

have read parts of this but not all the way through. Waiting for the right timing to read with someone special.

[John Kennedy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gray adroitly points out how problems arise when men and women forget the important truth that they are supposed to be different. Even though our values are inherently different, we expect the opposite sex to see things the way we do. Men repeatedly mistakenly offer solutions to "fix" their wives, while wives continually offer unsolicited advice that ends up mothering their husbands. In arguments, men who act as if they are always right invalidate a woman's feelings. The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that they don't listen. Men are reluctant to be told what to do by their wives because they think it implies they are incompetent.
Many of Gray's insights hit the bullseye. Quite often men suddenly stop communicating. Women don't understand that silence typically means men are trying to process a solution, and that asking further questions that can't be answered only causes more consternation. Women tend to prod men to reveal their true feelings, which men don't want to reveal.
Yet some of the observations perpetuate gender stereotypes. Gray assumes every man is mechanically minded. The book, written in 1992, is a bit dated. Gray talks about how husbands don't listen to wives because they are too busy reading the daily newspaper. Now, of course, is they won't put the cellphone down.
Initially I was somewhat skeptical of the advice, knowing that Gray was a disciple of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. But the author makes no effort to push transcendental meditation principles. Gray does have a bit of an ego problem. More than once he mentions that marriages of thousands of couples have been saved because of his advice. The book is a bit repetitive, and loses steam two-thirds of the way through.

[Justine Hopkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus feels like eavesdropping on a couple in a therapist’s office—awkward at times, insightful at others, and occasionally too generalized to feel fully human. The book attempts to break down the emotional language barrier between men and women, and while I can appreciate the intention, I found myself raising an eyebrow more than once. The metaphors are cute in theory; Martians and Venusians learning to coexist but sometimes they flatten the nuances of real relationships into a binary that feels outdated. Men retreat to their “caves,” women overflow with emotion. Sure, there’s a grain of truth there, but people are more fluid than that. We're not aliens. We're just complicated. That said, there were moments where I saw glimpses of myself and the people I care about in these pages. The part about how women often just want to be heard not fixed resonated deeply. And the idea that men express love through action rather than words explained a few things I hadn’t put into words myself. It's not a perfect book. But if you read it like a mirror rather than a map if you let it reflect rather than direct it can offer a few helpful revelations.

[Kritika]

Before diving into this book, please read the preface to understand the author's desclimer. Not every individual will identify with the descriptions of men and women presented here completely or partially, as each person is unique.

Personally, I felt this book's content would be better suited for a podcast or YouTube video due to its conversational tone and repetitive nature. The text often feels padded to fill the 200+ pages.

This is my second read of this book and in both times I found myself skimming through sections. There are few valuable relationship advice scattered throughout if the reader gets to read until the end. 

This book may resonate with those who are emotionally or mentally blind and acknowledge it or simply for those in healthy relationships who want to have a topic to discuss during their next date.

Interestingly, swapping "man" and "woman" in the text reveals the author's core message remains consistent: effective communication, listening, love, and commitment are essential.

While not exceptional, this book offers useful tips. I'd rate it an average read.

[Teresa Arauco · Rating 3 out of 5]

I remember reading this way back when and thinking that these are some cool ideas...BUT, what if :

-a family member has abusive ways about him and you have not quite identified them yet out loud, and you see this "familiar behavior" in a male friend or bf
-you have no experience with being in an abusive relationship and see your friend in one
- find yourself in an abusive relationship

...and dismiss the unfamiliar behavior as.."well, I am not from Mars, so this must be one of those 'miscommunications' John Gray talks about, or "oh, there he goes into the Cave that John Gray describes."

Yeah, I know this is pop-psychology and is about 20% science and 80% entertainment... I just worry. I have had a few intelligent and wonderful friends who have covered-up black eyes in the past...¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Laur · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very out of my comfort zone but nonetheless a great read. There's a lot to unpack in a book like this, for starters the author did an amazing job portraying both the Venusians and the mars people. As a Venusian myself I found this book very insightful and eye-opening. There are a few quotes from this book I truly love. Those being

"But offering to help a man can make him feel incompetent, weak and unloved."

"When a woman is overwhelmed she finds relief through talking in great detail about her various problems. Gradually if she feels she is being heard her stress disappears.."

Both of these quotes were truly eye opening and made me feel heard as a woman. I can see how this book has helped men and women alike in their relationships. I would definitely recommend that you read this book regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not!

[Micaela Anais Harris · Rating 2 out of 5]

If I was in my twenties, this book would have had me engaged in the cute terminologies of one planet to another, but decades of psychology books later, this book lost me from the very beginning when the author stated he would not get into the biological, or neuroscience of the complexities of human behavior. Yet, I still kept reading on hoping that the references would stop and more intricate details would follow, but it didn't and I found myself not wanting to finish the book. A rarity on my end but, I still wholeheartedly agree that if I didn't know what I already knew, this book would have been helpful if I wanted relationships explained in just regular day-to-day conversational terms that did not involve all the science. A general understanding of the dynamics of a relationship the book does deliver on this, and was a very easy read.

[Samiksha Bhatnagar · Rating 5 out of 5]

An astounding read to better your relationship with your partner. The book teaches you that men and women are totally different from one another. It helps you understand why our partners are the way they are. It’s not to take it personally, but communication is your ultimate breakthrough to understand each other.

The gender differences does not mean it won’t work, instead it teaches you how to cope with one another. Mr Gray does an excellent job on providing tips and tools, on how to express and communicate those feelings.

I highly recommend this book for those who want to improve their current or future relationships!

[aera · Rating 4 out of 5]

i found this book surprisingly engaging! i believe it would be especially beneficial for men to read, as women tend to naturally exhibit higher levels of empathy. the book provided valuable insights into the distinct ways in which individuals of different genders operate, particularly within the context of relationships.

what stood out to me the most was how desires, emotions, and coping strategies can vary so much between men and women. understanding these differences—especially in how we deal with emotions and emotional needs was really insightful.

with full confidence, i can say i will be a great wife one day. :)

[Alexander · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars out of 5

The title pretty much says it all.
The author basically builds his strategies for successful relationships between men and women off the idea that each of the sexes is from a different planet, with unique innate characteristics, tendencies and necessities. I am still wondering how I got through this book, it was such a chore.
Nonetheless, I could relate to some of the information, and took a few valuable suggestions to heart. Hopefully, my partner will appreciate the effort. >_<

[Caitlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic read! I would not have expected this classic tome from 1991 to resonate so much with me, but I got so much out of it. I copied down the Love Letter format to use later, and if that's the only part of this book you read it's still well worth it. Just as Gray mentions in the introduction, I sometimes saw myself in the men's half of these descriptions or saw my partner in the woman's half, but every insight was thoughtful and helpful. This book stands the test of time as a communication classic, and I would definitely recommend.

[Cristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was an eye opener on how both men & women live and manifest themselves and their feelings, support in relationships, on “how to” and “how not to” for a better success of relationships. The language of this book yet is very simplistic which you can dislike or appreciate. So is the approach to relationships. But if it’s the first book of this kind to read, then I believe it’s the right one to start your relationships literature.

[Aaron Galano · Rating 4 out of 5]

This doesn’t apply to everyone because people are different and unique. There is definitely some flaws but also a ton of great advice. There is a lot I have learned to put into action and change how I treat my partner. If you feel you aren’t communicating well with your significant other it is worth reading and maybe you can save your relationship before it is too late. Good luck to everyone who decides to pick up this book and give it a read.

[Kalin Pretorius · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh...

An outdated book in terms of relationships between men and females in 2021. Not that I didn't take something note-worthy out of the book, but it felt that the book is more aimed towards partners in troubled relationships. That needs a book for guidance... Eish.

Maybe I'll read it again after I've encountered a troubled relationship again.

[Lori Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

I grew up with four brothers, and I can say with no doubt this book is absolutely true. If you're having trouble understanding men read this. It has ALL the answers you need. I have used this book to help myself, and others. It is highlighted, with sticky notes, and marked up on nearly every age. There is just SO much useful knowledge in it. You are truly a relationship guru, John. I applaud you.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting way to describe the differences between women and men in relationships-discussing one aspect: that men must retreat to their caves for space and time alone/away before engaging again-done bother them at that point-you need to wait until they come out of their cave.. That's one thing I remember the book put out there. I read it so long ago, I forget more details.

[Deb Ellis · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very informative book that should keep every woman away from men. We are supposed to prop their egos and always agree with them. We get nothing except to strengthen our will power as we ask for nothing and give them anything. I would never have dated if I had read this 70 years ago. If you are still single, stay that way!!