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Bringing Up Geeks
A breakthrough parenting book that redefines the meaning of geek-and inspires parents to free themselves and their kids from the 'culture of cool.' In a world of superficial values, peer pressure, and out-of-control consumerism, the world needs more GEEKs: Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids. Today's 'culture of cool' has changed the way kids grow up. Rather than enjoying innocent childhoods while developing strong, authentic characters, today's kids can become cynical-even jaded-as they absorb the dangerous messages and harmful influences of a dominant popular culture that encourages materialism, high-risk behaviors, and a state of pseudo-adulthood. Author and mother of four Marybeth Hicks suggests an alternative: bringing up geeks. In this groundbreaking book, she shows parents how they can help their children gain the enthusiasm to pursue their passions, not just the latest fashions; the confidence to resist peer pressure and destructive behaviors; the love of learning that helps them excel at school and in life; and the maturity to value family as well as friends, as well as make good moral decisions. With a foundation like that, kids will grow up to be the coolest adults.
336 pages, ebook
First published July 1, 2008
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598 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
November 3, 2010
I don't read parenting books. I have parenting books on my shelves by FRIENDS I keep meaning to read and haven't. (Sorry, friends.) But I picked this up because of the title. I thought it was going to be a book about nurturing your kid's geek tendencies. Not the biting-the-heads-off-chickens kind of geekery; the confidently-obsessed-with-something-brainy-and-self-directed kind of geekery. I was hoping for specific strategies to help my kid find her passion, nurture that passion and deal with kids who think her passion is supa lame. I was hoping for discussion on good geekery vs bad geekery, making sure our geeks have social skills and empathy, preventing bullying.
The author defines geek with an acronym: Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kid. Hey, that too sounded promising! But I shoulda paid attention to the subtitle: How to Protect Your Kid's Childhood in a Grow-Up-Too-Fast World. THAT'S really what the book is about. It takes as a given that you want to keep kids away from pop culture and that parenting means making kids do the activities YOU want them to do. I was hoping for a book that encouraged self-direction, not obedience. And as a fan of popcult, I was hoping for guidance in finding the good stuff and talking about the bad stuff, and walking the line between banning and discouraging crap.
FYI, the book also has a strong Christian gloss -- as a Jew it didn't really trouble me, but someone raising kids without religion is likely to have Issues there too.
This book's more Nerd than Geek. True geeks know what I mean.
The author defines geek with an acronym: Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kid. Hey, that too sounded promising! But I shoulda paid attention to the subtitle: How to Protect Your Kid's Childhood in a Grow-Up-Too-Fast World. THAT'S really what the book is about. It takes as a given that you want to keep kids away from pop culture and that parenting means making kids do the activities YOU want them to do. I was hoping for a book that encouraged self-direction, not obedience. And as a fan of popcult, I was hoping for guidance in finding the good stuff and talking about the bad stuff, and walking the line between banning and discouraging crap.
FYI, the book also has a strong Christian gloss -- as a Jew it didn't really trouble me, but someone raising kids without religion is likely to have Issues there too.
This book's more Nerd than Geek. True geeks know what I mean.
April 25, 2009
The subtitle of this book is "How to Protect Your Kid's Childhood in a Grow-Up-Too-Fast World," and defines geeks as Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids.
This book made me feel validated as a parent. As if we are actually doing not too badly as we decide how to raise our children.
The author, a parenting columnist and mom of 4, has 10 rules for raising "geeks":
Rule 1: Raise a brainiac
Rule 2: Raise a sheltered kid
Rule 3: Raise an uncommon kid
Rule 4: Raise a kid adults like
Rule 5: Raise a late bloomer
Rule 6: Raise a team player
Rule 7: Raise a true friend
Rule 8: Raise a homebody
Rule 9: Raise a principled kid
Rule 10: Raise a faithful kid
Nonreligious readers should probably avoid Rule 10, because it talks about the importance of spirituality in a child's life...and how that helps them cope with some of the stresses of being a "geek."
While I was reading this book, we were dealing with an issue my middle schooler told me about (regarding some inappropriate behavior going on at school), and we made the decision to talk to the teacher about it. My middle schooler was not happy about this, but I explained to him that sometimes doing the right thing is not the popular thing.
I highly recommend this book for parents who want to raise children who are individuals and do not just go along with the hip and cool kid culture.
This book made me feel validated as a parent. As if we are actually doing not too badly as we decide how to raise our children.
The author, a parenting columnist and mom of 4, has 10 rules for raising "geeks":
Rule 1: Raise a brainiac
Rule 2: Raise a sheltered kid
Rule 3: Raise an uncommon kid
Rule 4: Raise a kid adults like
Rule 5: Raise a late bloomer
Rule 6: Raise a team player
Rule 7: Raise a true friend
Rule 8: Raise a homebody
Rule 9: Raise a principled kid
Rule 10: Raise a faithful kid
Nonreligious readers should probably avoid Rule 10, because it talks about the importance of spirituality in a child's life...and how that helps them cope with some of the stresses of being a "geek."
While I was reading this book, we were dealing with an issue my middle schooler told me about (regarding some inappropriate behavior going on at school), and we made the decision to talk to the teacher about it. My middle schooler was not happy about this, but I explained to him that sometimes doing the right thing is not the popular thing.
I highly recommend this book for parents who want to raise children who are individuals and do not just go along with the hip and cool kid culture.
March 20, 2010
Well, this isn't the type of book I would normally pick up but my sister in law loves it and so I requested it and it came right away.
I like a lot of the author's ideas about how little kids don't need every gadget and gizmo out there (she seriously hates iPods), and kids need to have a strong sense of who they are and be comfortable with it.
Yes, yes, that's all good. She thinks kids who aren't trying to be cool are geeks, and that's what we should all hope our kids grow up to be. Happy, secure, intelligent, well rounded geeks.
But this author started to really drive me insane - she's so smug! She'll reference childhood development experts (which she always puts in quotation marks) and then say things like "Well, I'm no expert but that is just NOT true. My kids do the opposite and they're great!". Tra la la. She paints such a rosy picture of her home life that it just really started to make her lose credibility with me. She touches on how some rules make her kids angry - but only briefly. They soon come around to see how right she really is. Really, Mrs. Hicks?
So, I give this book 3 stars because I liked the ideas, although it could have been a lot shorter and I am pretty sure that everything isn't as easy as she makes it seem. I like people to be honest.
I like a lot of the author's ideas about how little kids don't need every gadget and gizmo out there (she seriously hates iPods), and kids need to have a strong sense of who they are and be comfortable with it.
Yes, yes, that's all good. She thinks kids who aren't trying to be cool are geeks, and that's what we should all hope our kids grow up to be. Happy, secure, intelligent, well rounded geeks.
But this author started to really drive me insane - she's so smug! She'll reference childhood development experts (which she always puts in quotation marks) and then say things like "Well, I'm no expert but that is just NOT true. My kids do the opposite and they're great!". Tra la la. She paints such a rosy picture of her home life that it just really started to make her lose credibility with me. She touches on how some rules make her kids angry - but only briefly. They soon come around to see how right she really is. Really, Mrs. Hicks?
So, I give this book 3 stars because I liked the ideas, although it could have been a lot shorter and I am pretty sure that everything isn't as easy as she makes it seem. I like people to be honest.
October 21, 2009
Hicks' parenting guide has some of the best advice regarding childrearing, especially concerning kids and electronic media. I agree with most of her common-sense parenting, but I was rather dismayed by her style of writing. Hicks is a newspaper columnist, and her essays in this book have that same kind of slapdash, written-quickly-on-deadline feeling. Her guidelines for parenting are based almost entirely on what has worked for her own family, and she conducted very few interviews. She admits freely that most of her research was conducted "via internet" -- at one point she references a poll from USA Today, egads -- and the book seems kind of insubstantial because of that. Too often, she indulges in long bouts of sarcasm when criticizing childrearing experts and other parents whom she disagrees with. As much as I love her advice, her lack of polish caused me to put the book down.
May 27, 2009
Since I've independently concluded that being kind of a dork in high school is predictive of adult coolness, plus is protective against being an asshole as well as lots of other traumatic things like STIs, I was eager to read this book. However, Hicks took an interesting concept and some pretty solid parenting advice and made it nearly unreadable by using only herself and her kids as examples, much like an unfathomably self-righteous Kathie Lee.
May 13, 2010
Oh, this is a good one. I love everything I've read so far. This author is on a mission to 'save the innocence' of childhood. I love it!
May 29, 2021
Stopped at page 92 when I read this gem:
No. No no no no no.
This was published in 2008, which means the "one generation ago" she adores was my own childhood. Hicks could not be more wrong about the normative standards of American society in that era. "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club" and the whole teen movie fad didn't create a dynamic, they just put on screen what already existed.
Are you seriously going to tell me that Prince Hal was a darling of obedience? That Plato and Aristotle weren't arbiters of the cool kids club? That Dickens was penning stories inspired only by a handful of outliers?
Give me a break. This whole idea that we've lost a better time is nonsense. There was never a better time.
I'm so bored with Culture War outrage masked as helpful parenting guides. PLEASE let's stop reading these liars who purport things were better in the Old Days. Read writers *from* the Old Days, instead -- it was never better! There was no golden age of nice, polite children! There was no golden age of a kind and polite society! These things never existed.
Hicks and her ilk are predatory, terrible people who seek to profit off your fears. Don't let them.
Just... go read Charlotte Mason instead of this garbage. Yes, it will take almost a year, but that year will pass anyway, right? Would you rather spend those hours truly understanding your values and becoming better at centering them, on the daily, regardless of the infinite external noise? Or are you happy churning through parenting books that are more clownish rant than inspiring & useful guide?
(This was a gift, which I otherwise would never have started to read and am now happily putting in the recycling bin...)
Only a generation ago, conformity meant we had adopted the prevailing cultural values and norms of social behavior that transcended the uncivilized and uncouth traits of children. You conformed to standards of manners in the classroom, in church, in a restaurant, at a store, in the theater, at a friend's home, or even at a funeral parlor. Conforming was expected; conforming was cultivated. Conforming was good.
....
I hate to be the one to tell you, but if you allow your child to conform to today's cultural values, prevailing attitudes and standards of social behavior, you may be dismayed (or even appalled) at the way your kid turns out.
No. No no no no no.
This was published in 2008, which means the "one generation ago" she adores was my own childhood. Hicks could not be more wrong about the normative standards of American society in that era. "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club" and the whole teen movie fad didn't create a dynamic, they just put on screen what already existed.
Are you seriously going to tell me that Prince Hal was a darling of obedience? That Plato and Aristotle weren't arbiters of the cool kids club? That Dickens was penning stories inspired only by a handful of outliers?
Give me a break. This whole idea that we've lost a better time is nonsense. There was never a better time.
I'm so bored with Culture War outrage masked as helpful parenting guides. PLEASE let's stop reading these liars who purport things were better in the Old Days. Read writers *from* the Old Days, instead -- it was never better! There was no golden age of nice, polite children! There was no golden age of a kind and polite society! These things never existed.
Hicks and her ilk are predatory, terrible people who seek to profit off your fears. Don't let them.
Just... go read Charlotte Mason instead of this garbage. Yes, it will take almost a year, but that year will pass anyway, right? Would you rather spend those hours truly understanding your values and becoming better at centering them, on the daily, regardless of the infinite external noise? Or are you happy churning through parenting books that are more clownish rant than inspiring & useful guide?
(This was a gift, which I otherwise would never have started to read and am now happily putting in the recycling bin...)
November 2, 2017
If you are feeling a like a ship without a rudder in the sea of parenting, this book will help. You may not agree with each 'rule,' but there is a lot of sage advice on managing electronics, encouraging reading, boosting brain power, instilling morals, building faith and more. I appreciated that Marybeth Hicks gave concrete advice and examples. For example, in the area of electronics (Chapter 'Rule #2',) she lists 9 of her family's rules such as no instant messaging, no electronics until homework & chores are completed, etc.
Obviously, parents with compliant, easy, "geek" children, will probably not read this book, so those of us who have more challenging children will find some of these recommendations very tough. However, I think this book will serve as a helpful guidepost.
Obviously, parents with compliant, easy, "geek" children, will probably not read this book, so those of us who have more challenging children will find some of these recommendations very tough. However, I think this book will serve as a helpful guidepost.
Read
November 9, 2008A book that makes you go "Duh!". 3rd graders shouldn't have cell phones, 3-year-olds should not own video gaming systems, and high school kids shouldn't be on their laptops 24/7 playing World of Warcraft while their IPod earbuds are jammed in their ears and their quick-text cell phones are at the ready. But all this seems normal in today's culture, which is why most parents don't think twice about indulging their kids' rude, materialistic attitudes. While reading the chapters with titles like "Raise a Late-Bloomer", "Raise a Faithful Kid", and "Raise a Team Player", this book reaffirmed that Dave and I are doing the right thing by only allowing 2 TV shows a day (and those shows are limited to Curious George or Little Einsteins, or a train or tractor DVD), not buying them LeapFrog and VTech games (they'll learn to read the same way we did- from our parents reading to us!) and by not teaching them to use the computer at the ages of 3.5 and 21 months (there ARE kids Chris's age who have computer time every day! I've seen it!) Obviously, it's going to get harder to resist the "culture of cool" as they get older, but this book teaches to say "That's not appropriate for someone your age", "You're worth more then that", and "We're doing this because you are special and we love you very much". Hopefully, my kids will grow up to be geeks like their Mom and Dad!
January 9, 2009
I have loved this book so far - nothing new to me - this is how I have been raising my kids - 6 down 2 to go. I am trying not to slack off with the last two kids - it is difficult not to relax and let them raise themselves - since so much of their influence has been their older siblings -- but now that we are down to just the last two at home it is going to be harder. They will need more attention from me and their dad since they will not be getting it from older sibs. I especially like that all my hard work to stay butted into my kids lives is exalted in this book as being a good thing. Also that I demand that my kids be nice to me - after all I control the car keys, food on the shelf, and ability to make their lives miserable!! OK, that part is probably not in the book - but my idea of parenting is to take bits and pieces of all the different parenting styles and combine what I like and what I can do and make it work for our family. So hurrah for geeks - we have 6 so far and the last 2 are well on their way to being truly geeky! I'll let you know if I change my mind as the book goes on - I'm about half way done.
June 19, 2015
"Raising Geeks" was a difficult book to read and not at all what I expected. It validated some of my parenting style, made me unearth some deeply-held anxieties, and truly made me think -hard- about a lot of parenting issues I had so far left undecided. Although I definitely did not agree with all her assertions, reading this book made me a more confident and forward-thinking parent.
However, I hesitate to recommend this book for many, many reasons. For one thing, it was very conservatively-biased, but then, that was kind of her point -- protect your kids' innocence. Reading a very different viewpoint, however difficult it was at times, made me strengthen my own beliefs.
Beyond that, though, the book was poorly written. Her interjections of "(Duh!)" and sarcastic remarks often made it difficult to take this book seriously. There were a few nights where I had to put the book down in anger and frustration at her arrogance and flippant writing. Despite these setbacks, the book is very serious, and I read it cover to cover. It was difficult work, but the difficult journey strengthened me.
All I can say is "keep an open mind" and "caveat emptor."
However, I hesitate to recommend this book for many, many reasons. For one thing, it was very conservatively-biased, but then, that was kind of her point -- protect your kids' innocence. Reading a very different viewpoint, however difficult it was at times, made me strengthen my own beliefs.
Beyond that, though, the book was poorly written. Her interjections of "(Duh!)" and sarcastic remarks often made it difficult to take this book seriously. There were a few nights where I had to put the book down in anger and frustration at her arrogance and flippant writing. Despite these setbacks, the book is very serious, and I read it cover to cover. It was difficult work, but the difficult journey strengthened me.
All I can say is "keep an open mind" and "caveat emptor."
August 7, 2012
Anybody who knows me would look at this title and think this would be right up my alley. However, I found the style haphazard at best and offensively arrogant at worst.
From the very beginning where she explains that there are categories of parents in the world, it put me off. Even though I would wager my own parenting choices are very close to the authors, the way she labels other parents is arrogant and ill informed.
I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but the whole book just left a bad taste in my mouth.
To make things worse, it ended on spirituality and I found myself actually flipping off the book. It is grotesque to say life as a moral and ethical human would be just too hard unless you have spirituality. I have managed much better as an ethical and moral human since I let go of trying to be religious.
I should have put it down and backed away as soon as I realized the lady was unaware that categorizing parents is not all that different from the labels of popular, geek, brainiac, etc. with which she supposedly wants to help kids cope.
From the very beginning where she explains that there are categories of parents in the world, it put me off. Even though I would wager my own parenting choices are very close to the authors, the way she labels other parents is arrogant and ill informed.
I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but the whole book just left a bad taste in my mouth.
To make things worse, it ended on spirituality and I found myself actually flipping off the book. It is grotesque to say life as a moral and ethical human would be just too hard unless you have spirituality. I have managed much better as an ethical and moral human since I let go of trying to be religious.
I should have put it down and backed away as soon as I realized the lady was unaware that categorizing parents is not all that different from the labels of popular, geek, brainiac, etc. with which she supposedly wants to help kids cope.
January 22, 2012
I enjoyed this book and agree with much of the advice in the book. However, just because I agree with it doesn't mean I thought this was a well written book. My major problem with it is the sheer number of times the author said she wasn't an expert. It started to make me wonder why I should listen to her at all. Much of the book seemed to be convincing the reader that this was a good idea and not enough time explaining what it actually means to implement it. Too many of the examples and stories were about the author's kids. It would have been nice if, as she kept implying, other parents were following this advice that there were examples from all these other families. The short asides in parentheses got tiresome and ceased to be cute after the first chapter or so.
All that said, there are bits of valuable advice and ideas throughout. The tips at the end of each chapter seem useful and are handily broken down by age.
All that said, there are bits of valuable advice and ideas throughout. The tips at the end of each chapter seem useful and are handily broken down by age.
September 21, 2011
I found myself agreeing with many of the general principles discussed here, but it could have been more concise and somewhat less opinionated. In some chapters, there was just too much ranting about or pointing out examples of bad behavior, rather than discussing ways to deal with it (i.e., chapters on bad manners and over-reliance on technology). More suggestions about managing or balancing kids tech (which for better or worse is here to stay) rather than so much contempt for it would have been helpful. The second half of the book was better, where there was more about interacting as a family and engaging with kids who are somewhat older. Definitely some good ideas and tactics here, but the author is quite opinionated and tends to drive her points home pretty aggressively. Perhaps referencing other sources or research would make it stronger and more convincing.
August 3, 2012
Although this book wasn't what I expected -- it's not about intellectual geeks but unpopular "goody goodies" -- I liked much of the opening chapters of this book. And Hicks is straightforward that the book is primarily about her own subjective experiences, not research of factual evidence. She argues for traditional authoritarian parenting, the importance of teaching good manners, sheltering children from media influences and rejecting materialistic values. The problem is that she takes this philosophy to the point of seeing social rejection as proof of her family's superiority. She also makes sweeping negative generalizations about popular culture which were oversimplistic. And while I share many of her values, ultimately, I found her parenting philosophy too rigid and controlling.
January 7, 2010
Hicks does not understand moral development, and her interpretations of research findings are awful. Read Raising Freethinkers instead. It's a much better book concerning rearing healthy and happy children.
July 28, 2009
judgemental and impossible. I agreed with about 1/4 of what the author had to say.
August 16, 2023
Parents left and right complain about the influence of American culture on their children, if they are paying attention to that influence at all. Kids are expected to grow up faster and faster, with the latest gadgets and the sexiest fashions. A reasonable adult recognizes this situation as at least unhealthy. Kids should be kids for as long as possible, not for as short as possible. Marybeth Hicks offers an alternate view from her perspective as a mother of four along with a lot of research she has done into child-raising issues.
Her idea is that children should be GEEKs. Not the classical definition of geek, but acronymically as Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids. Rather than following the popular crowd, which to a large extent is led around by media and celebrity culture, she advocates children figuring out what they like for themselves and pursuing those ends. To find what is fun and fulfilling, kids need to develop a love of learning which helps make good choices about what to try and what to pursue. Parents should support those interests and gently guide kids away from the harmful stuff. One key tactic is to have a family life centered on the family, i.e. hanging out at home and learning to love and support one another. With that foundation, kids have an easier time being themselves at school and other activities. It makes them better friends.
The book was written in 2008, so some of the cultural references have faded, like Bratz dolls or Myspace. The principles are easy to discern and apply to contemporary life and culture. She organizes her advice into ten rules, ranging from "Raise a Brainiac" to "Raise a Faithful Kid." The rules are applicable in any culture and are very valuable as our modern culture shifts in all sorts of directions, many of which a smart parent does not want their children to follow.
The writing is homey and very straightforward. The book centers on examples and storytelling rather than charts and statistics (though she does support her ideas with research and references). A couple of times I felt like she was being too sarcastic or overemphasizing a point, but those were minimal.
Recommended.
Her idea is that children should be GEEKs. Not the classical definition of geek, but acronymically as Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids. Rather than following the popular crowd, which to a large extent is led around by media and celebrity culture, she advocates children figuring out what they like for themselves and pursuing those ends. To find what is fun and fulfilling, kids need to develop a love of learning which helps make good choices about what to try and what to pursue. Parents should support those interests and gently guide kids away from the harmful stuff. One key tactic is to have a family life centered on the family, i.e. hanging out at home and learning to love and support one another. With that foundation, kids have an easier time being themselves at school and other activities. It makes them better friends.
The book was written in 2008, so some of the cultural references have faded, like Bratz dolls or Myspace. The principles are easy to discern and apply to contemporary life and culture. She organizes her advice into ten rules, ranging from "Raise a Brainiac" to "Raise a Faithful Kid." The rules are applicable in any culture and are very valuable as our modern culture shifts in all sorts of directions, many of which a smart parent does not want their children to follow.
The writing is homey and very straightforward. The book centers on examples and storytelling rather than charts and statistics (though she does support her ideas with research and references). A couple of times I felt like she was being too sarcastic or overemphasizing a point, but those were minimal.
Recommended.
March 10, 2018
There’s some really good stuff here, and I’ll be hanging onto this book for the future. So why 3 stars?
First, the “Late Bloomer” chapter, which is a bunch of pearl clutching about how girls dress these days. Pretty much nothing about boys and their responsibility to treat girls like human beings. And the attitude the author herself takes toward girl CHILDREN who don’t dress in her approved manner... It’s pretty unpleasant.
Also the last chapter about religion is disingenuous. Either write the whole book from an explicitly religious perspective, or leave it out completely. Sneaking it in at the end and pretending she doesn’t have a dog in this fight, while simultaneously dismissing progressive religious traditions as well as non-theist parents? Not cool. And I say that as a religious person.
Skip those two chapters, and look past the self-congratulatory tone, and there’s some truly helpful parenting advice here.
First, the “Late Bloomer” chapter, which is a bunch of pearl clutching about how girls dress these days. Pretty much nothing about boys and their responsibility to treat girls like human beings. And the attitude the author herself takes toward girl CHILDREN who don’t dress in her approved manner... It’s pretty unpleasant.
Also the last chapter about religion is disingenuous. Either write the whole book from an explicitly religious perspective, or leave it out completely. Sneaking it in at the end and pretending she doesn’t have a dog in this fight, while simultaneously dismissing progressive religious traditions as well as non-theist parents? Not cool. And I say that as a religious person.
Skip those two chapters, and look past the self-congratulatory tone, and there’s some truly helpful parenting advice here.
July 13, 2020
Probably the best parenting book I’ve read to instill values in children.
March 26, 2010
I completely enjoyed reading this parenting book, and I agreed with 90 percent of what Hicks said. I think one of the things that made it so readable was that the author isn't a pro, she's a parent who has done her research, and who also happens to be a news columnist. Her premise (as you can read in the subtitle) is protecting your child from the "culture of cool" by parenting in such a way as to separate them from striving to conform to the standards of "coolness" today. In other words, keeping your kid from seeking popularity to validate themselves, trying to fit in with the popular crowd, and thereby selling themselves out, becoming just like what other kids think they "should" be. Each chapter outlines ways to help your child to be confident in who they are, such as "raise a brainiac," "raise a team player," etc. Yes, if they aren't trying to always fit in they may become "geeks," but they will be the unique, wonderful kids they were meant to be.
Hicks touched on it just a bit, but the one thing that felt missing is that when you raise a child in this way, who is confident and respects themselves, I think that even when they don't conform, they are often accepted and respected for who they are. I'd definitely recommend this book to ANY parent! In fact, I feel that this is a parenting book that many parents SHOULD read.
Hicks touched on it just a bit, but the one thing that felt missing is that when you raise a child in this way, who is confident and respects themselves, I think that even when they don't conform, they are often accepted and respected for who they are. I'd definitely recommend this book to ANY parent! In fact, I feel that this is a parenting book that many parents SHOULD read.
September 12, 2011
This book was re-affirming to me as parent. The author's parenting views and styles seem to align fairly well with mine. I agreed with almost everything she said. One exception however, is in reference to raising a news-junkie. Although I want my children to be aware of what's going on in the world, I do not agree with all of her recommendations. Perhaps living in Las Vegas gives me a tainted view, but I do not need my elementary-aged children reading about drug busts at strip clubs, and other similar stories often found in local newspapers. Furthermore, I'm far from convinced that the media does a very good job of presenting factual, unbiased views. My children do not watch the news, and I'm not eager to have them start. I think too much news-watching only leads to a pessimistic, anxiety-ridden outlook on life. I believe there are other, more uplifting ways to remain aware of local, national, and world-wide events.
I found it a little ironic that in one chapter the author is recommending having your kids read newspapers and watch news programs, and in another chapter she talks about the need to keep them sheltered and not exposed to too much too soon. The two ideas seem to contradict each other just a bit.
Overall, however, I think her suggestions are appropriate and valid, and I think this book would be good for any parent to read.
I found it a little ironic that in one chapter the author is recommending having your kids read newspapers and watch news programs, and in another chapter she talks about the need to keep them sheltered and not exposed to too much too soon. The two ideas seem to contradict each other just a bit.
Overall, however, I think her suggestions are appropriate and valid, and I think this book would be good for any parent to read.
October 9, 2008
This is a quick read covering many ways to keep the "culture of cool" from permeating your children. Marybeth Hicks, mother of 4, writes about the many ways we can shape our children to be balanced, happy and joyful. She addresses many topics like modesty in dress, balance in use of technology, raising a team player, the importance of honesty in all things (schoolwork, sports etc.) She does not come across as overbearing, but very balanced and I think that's why her choices go over well with her kids. She stresses keeping kids kids longer in a culture that calls an 8 year old a "tween". Now, I expect that this book is written to a general audience, but the author is a practicing Catholic Christian and she writes about the spirituality of children. More than being successful, she would like her children to grow up to be who God wants them to be. There's nothing super new here for me as I read lots of books like this one. This book reminds me of Rebecca Hagelin's Home Invasion:Protecting Your Family From a Culture that's Gone Stark Raving Mad.
December 21, 2010
3.5 STARS
The book was a decent read...mostly because it was a big pat on the back. Many ideas that we are already using and a couple good ways to extend our current parenting ideals through to high school.
The book is written very conversationally and was a fairly quick read. Divided into sections that make it easy enough to pick up and read what you were intersted it. Many references in the back to further reading.
Drawbacks - Author used the (more on this later) phrase way too much! Much anecdotal "research" based on her parenting of her 4 children...repeatedly mentioned that she was no expert in many areas...made me want to take a step back and see what her credentials were exactly. Not that I needed her to be an expert - being a mom is sometimes expert enough for me...but made the case a weaker one when it was constantly reiterated.
Like I stated above - Sometimes it is just good to read something that confirms your own actions. Lets you know you are not alone in your thinking.
The book was a decent read...mostly because it was a big pat on the back. Many ideas that we are already using and a couple good ways to extend our current parenting ideals through to high school.
The book is written very conversationally and was a fairly quick read. Divided into sections that make it easy enough to pick up and read what you were intersted it. Many references in the back to further reading.
Drawbacks - Author used the (more on this later) phrase way too much! Much anecdotal "research" based on her parenting of her 4 children...repeatedly mentioned that she was no expert in many areas...made me want to take a step back and see what her credentials were exactly. Not that I needed her to be an expert - being a mom is sometimes expert enough for me...but made the case a weaker one when it was constantly reiterated.
Like I stated above - Sometimes it is just good to read something that confirms your own actions. Lets you know you are not alone in your thinking.
November 2, 2009
There wasn't too much that was really ground breaking in this book, but it did affirm a lot of the feelings and thoughts I have about parenting. It was reassuring in that way. It also motivated me to get focused on some things that I thought I would try to address later, such as teaching the kids better table manners.
The writing itself is at times funny, at times a little preachy, and at times informative. Much of it seems to make sense, as again, Hicks is sort of preaching to the choir with me.
A few people I have talked to about this book have told me that they had seen it but thought, "my kids are too little" for the things the book addresses. After reading it, and having a career working with teens, I would wholeheartedly disagree. I think a parents who wait until their kids are teens to try to implement this lifestyle will quickly realize it is WAY too late by then. There are plenty of tips about how to lay the groundwork for a close-knit, loving, respectful family right now, and reap the benefits during the teenage years.
The writing itself is at times funny, at times a little preachy, and at times informative. Much of it seems to make sense, as again, Hicks is sort of preaching to the choir with me.
A few people I have talked to about this book have told me that they had seen it but thought, "my kids are too little" for the things the book addresses. After reading it, and having a career working with teens, I would wholeheartedly disagree. I think a parents who wait until their kids are teens to try to implement this lifestyle will quickly realize it is WAY too late by then. There are plenty of tips about how to lay the groundwork for a close-knit, loving, respectful family right now, and reap the benefits during the teenage years.
March 31, 2010
I LOVED this book. Many parenting books are too text book and I have to skip through and read the parts that I feel pertain to me. Not so with this book. It was an entertaining read from beginning to end. I felt vindicated for years of frustration with how some people choose to raise their children. There are people who I would LOVE to read this book, but I realize it most likely would not do a bit of good. It's more important for kids get what they want than to be brought up with values, apparently.
I would have given this book 5 stars but knocked it down due to the material being "common sense" to me. Still, many parents either don't have common sense or are too lazy to parent. I also thought it would have been nice if she had included stories of other families that are striving for Geekdom besides her own. Her version was a little idealized. I mean, really? Her kids were that easy to win over to this? I worry about run-ins while I try to implement her ideas in my own home and don't feel adequately prepared. We'll see how it goes down when my girls reach the teen age.
I would have given this book 5 stars but knocked it down due to the material being "common sense" to me. Still, many parents either don't have common sense or are too lazy to parent. I also thought it would have been nice if she had included stories of other families that are striving for Geekdom besides her own. Her version was a little idealized. I mean, really? Her kids were that easy to win over to this? I worry about run-ins while I try to implement her ideas in my own home and don't feel adequately prepared. We'll see how it goes down when my girls reach the teen age.
July 27, 2008
I don't normally get much out of child-rearing how-to books, but i really found this one interesting. the author is a parenting columnist for the Washington Post and a mother of 4 children. she has some excellent ideas about how to raise kids so as to protect them as much as possible from the pressures of the "too fast" modern world. she repeatedly advocates that parents need to do more to make sure that they are actively raising their children to reflect their own values, rather than letting the children go their own way, influenced primarily by their peers.
i highly recommend this book for anyone who is raising kids from elementary through high school and is looking for some new ideas about how to keep their kids on the right path.
i highly recommend this book for anyone who is raising kids from elementary through high school and is looking for some new ideas about how to keep their kids on the right path.
June 20, 2011
You have to be like-minded with this author. Otherwise, you will find it preachy, I think. But I share many of her values and wishes for my children, so I found it helpful. Most of all, it gave me more courage to stick to my convictions and stand up to those around me and say, "excuse me, this is how I am raising my kids and I'd really like for you to respect it, even if you disagree." It's hard to be one of the only parents around who restricts media and sugar and whatnot. It's hard to filter what gets into the house and what the kids see/experience at friends' houses. This book made me feel a little less alone.
It will be helpful if I reread this every five years or so, even though I probably won't.
It will be helpful if I reread this every five years or so, even though I probably won't.
August 2, 2011
Lots of things I liked and a few I didn't. I am all for raising a child to be as enthusiastic and empowered as possible while protecting their childhood. The forced and premature "grown up" environment is a challenge for every parent today. However, at times I feel the author is a bit over the top and at times inconsistent.
An oddity: She is anti Bratz dolls (I agree here), but she is ok with Barbie (!).
I also disagree with one of her key through lines: popular = cool, and the one does not necessitate the other. However, I did read it thoroughly and would recco it to anyone who is trying to bulild charecter in their kids while helping them love to be themselves.
An oddity: She is anti Bratz dolls (I agree here), but she is ok with Barbie (!).
I also disagree with one of her key through lines: popular = cool, and the one does not necessitate the other. However, I did read it thoroughly and would recco it to anyone who is trying to bulild charecter in their kids while helping them love to be themselves.
May 18, 2010
It is heartening to hear another voice giving weight to my own opinions. I am NOT (as my kids tell me) the only parent on the planet who thinks cell phones for middle-schoolers and even (gasp!) high-schoolers are not a necessity. Huzzah! I liked that she ended with how her faith (she is Catholic) informs this view of the world and of parenting. I especially liked seeing the many similarities with how my faith influences the way I parent my children.
I did get bored with her arguments of why she thinks these things are important--after all, I agree. I wish she had spent more time on the practical nuts and bolts of how her family accomplishes what she is telling us to do.
I did get bored with her arguments of why she thinks these things are important--after all, I agree. I wish she had spent more time on the practical nuts and bolts of how her family accomplishes what she is telling us to do.
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